It's a Vivas Thing!

What is Family Anyway?

2011-11-20T02:17:15Z

Today has been an interesting day. Twenty years ago my hubby asked me to marry him. This morning I dragged my family outside in the cold at the crack of dawn to take family pictures. We haven’t done family pictures in seven years. They’ve been threatened, coerced, and then threatened some more; no matter what, they would not mess up my family pictures in any way, shape or form!

And it was fun; cold, but fun!

This afternoon, hubby and I took some of the youth from our church, as well as our own kids, and went on a mission. Earlier this fall, the girls Bible study had come up with the idea of collecting blankets and then taking them this weekend to pass them out to the homeless, along with the Lovewell bags. (You can read more about that here.) We piled the kids, blankets and bags into our van and went off in search of someone to give them to.

As we drove downtown into the heart of the homeless, we were saddened to realize we did not have near enough blankets; or bags for that matter. We had to choose where to pass them out because we realized there were certain areas where there were so many homeless, we’d never be able to provide enough for them.

And yet, we prayed and asked God to direct us where to go. At one point we stopped and the boys got out to pass out the blankets and bags. The people were so grateful; it is so cold out tonight. One of the men took a blanket and said,

“I don’t need this, but thank you, I’m giving it to someone who does.”

They were sleeping in boxes, make-shift tents, and on the dirt ground in a lot next to the road.

Over and over we pulled to the side of the road, passed out blankets until we ran out, and then continued to pass out the bags. They’d see our van pull over and come running when they realized we were handing out something special for them. Having no home, they still smiled and said “Thank you” or “God Bless You” as we presented them with a small token: socks, snacks, water, and hygiene items.

And they’d tell their “family” to come over and get a bag; or they’d ask for an extra to hand to their friend.

They took care of one another. Family.

As I sit here thinking over the day, I am grateful for the home that I have. For my family and friends.

For God giving me a daughter who has such a heart for those who have so little.

We’re already talking about continuing. Next time we’ll bring more blankets. Next time we’ll add sandwiches to the bags that we pass out.

This week we celebrate Thanksgiving. I miss my family who is so far away and I don’t talk to nearly enough. I hope they know how much I love them and miss them.

And I thank Him, for reminding me of all that I have. Twenty years ago I never dreamed of a day like this. A good day. And a wonderful twenty years of blessings.

Rainbows

2011-10-27T01:47:58Z

This week my schedule is a little off. Not in a bad way at all. It’s actually been kind of nice.

This morning, I had the privilege of driving my two youngest to school. Usually, a friend takes them. This morning, I took her daughter instead.

I was on my way to pick her up after dropping off Bboo and started driving my normal routine. This forced me to be a little later while I backtracked to get her. And then headed to pick up my kids, as well. By the time we were situated and on our way, the sky was doing some unusual things in the desert. It was a beautiful pink, with clouds and rain. The Smart One noticed it at the same time as I did and pointed it out right away! Right in the middle was the most brilliantly colored rainbow I’ve ever seen. It was incredible! We both just kind of stared in awe as we kept driving towards it, remarking about the beauty that God has created.

As we got closer, it started to sprinkle, then rain. I love the rain.

We went inside to carry on with our day. As I spent the rest of the day working, it was so nice to have the Drama Queen stop each time she passed me to say hello. Or bring her friends over to meet me. It is a special moment when your child wants her friends to know who their parents are!

The Drama Queen’s name means, “Beautiful Rainbow”…what a blessing this morning to have such rainbows in my life!

Hope Lives

2011-10-16T14:19:26Z

It’s funny how sometimes it only takes a child to remind you of the greater things in life.

Lately things haven’t been going great; we’ve been reminded time and again how God is in control…and we’re not. We feel like life is in a sort of limbo while we wait for Him to move that mountain.

And then we have a conversation with a child.

I was visiting with some first graders when one of them came up to me. He noticed my ID and asked,

“Is your name really Hope?”

I responded, “Yes, my name really is Hope.”

He thought for a moment, then in all seriousness replied, “That’s a great name. It means that there is always hope. You’ll always have Hope. Hope is good.”

I smiled and told him that my family and friends will often remark that there is always hope when I am around.

He smiled, but remained very serious.

And then he said something else. I paused, taken by surprise, and asked,

“What did you say?”

He said, “Hope Lives. Your name means Hope Lives.”

Startled, I asked this bright SIX year old, “Do you speak spanish?”

He replied that he spoke a little bit; that he’d read my ID and saw that my last name was Vivas, which means to Live.

“You have a good name. Hope is good. Hope Lives.”

I let him know I was so glad to have met him and let him know I have a nephew with his name. He liked that.

As I left the room, I couldn’t help but smile. It was a really tough week. An even tougher day. But I reminded myself that Hope lives within me. As I’ve pondered this weekend, I’ve looked for the Hope that lives within me. He’s there, sometimes we just forget to look.

Until a child is sent to remind us.

Jeremiah 17:7
“ Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD.

Romans 5:3-5

³More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

And my favorite…

Romans 12:12

¹² rejoice in hope; be patient in tribulation; continue stedfastly in prayer;

Obstacles

2011-09-17T14:43:25Z

My daughter mentioned obstacles this week and it’s been playing on my mind ever since. When something plays on my mind for too long, I tend to just want to write it out.

Obstacle:

One that opposes, stands in the way of, or holds up progress.

Any obstruction designed or employed to disrupt, fix, turn, or block the movement of an opposing force

Interesting definition, yes?

I believe there are two kinds of obstacles; good or bad. What’s hard is trying to figure out which is which!

Some obstacles are there to make us work harder; like a hurdle in a race. It’s meant to be jumped over and it takes training to be able to do it! The harder we work, the stronger we get…and in the end, we can rejoice in the fact that because we worked hard and didn’t let anything stand in our way, we accomplished something great!

But then, there are the hurdles that are meant to *stand in the way* or *turn*…us away from danger. Those are the ones i think so often we want to ignore. We are a stubborn people.

With this type of obstacle, I think of a road block. Here’s a good example:

Two years ago I was having some health issues. They were pretty serious and I was done dealing with them. I’d finally given up and decided to have the issues taken care of. I had to go through some pretty …er…invasive testing before they’d perform the surgery. Everything was set up and ready to go.

The week before my surgery, I had a bad result on a completely different health issue, so my surgery was cancelled. To be honest, I am not sure at that point, what I was more upset about; the bad result or the fact that my surgery was canceled. It took another week for me to finish further testing in regards to the second issue; and I was cleared for surgery. BUT, by that time, my insurance had been switched and I was no longer allowed to have my surgeon perform my surgery.

See, now THAT is an obstacle!

Not one to let anything stand in the way of what I knew I needed, I went to battle. I fought and fought the system, got outside approval, and had the surgeon I wanted perform my surgery.

And it nearly killed me.

After the fight of my life, I spent the next SEVERAL months undergoing the most painful, humiliating procedures ever known to man. (or at least, me.) I will never be the same again. There are certain things I’ve just learned to accept. But I praise God that I have my life and I appreciate it more. He took this difficult time in my life and showed me just what HE could do when I let Him be in control instead of me.

But I also learned something else. When God puts an OBVIOUS or not so obvious obstacle in my way, next time I’m going to ask His advice before I just push my way through. (Later the same surgeon had his license taken away for some stuff…only to get it back, but it showed me that I shouldn’t work so hard to hurdle every obstacle that comes my way!)

We currently have some new obstacles going on…I’m sure we will always have them, it’s how we grow; but I’ve also learned to stand back, be patient, and say, “Ok, God, what do you want me to do with this one?” before I run full speed ahead to push my way through them, around them, or over them!

Just another Saturday

2011-08-27T22:46:37Z

It’s one of those Saturdays where my brain just needs to take a step back and relax from all of the hoopla of the previous weeks. This summer has been pretty crazy; mostly spent working, but well worth the task at hand! I had originally thought this last Saturday before school started would be one of ….oh, I guess I don’t know.

The plan was to pick up Chicken Noodle Butt and the Princess and take them to see the Smurfs. Then, we found out the Good Looking One had to have his wisdom teeth pulled, so it changed to bringing them over to hang quietly while he sleeps his day away.

Instead, first thing this morning we got the call for him to go in early for his surgery. Hubby and the Talented One drove him while I took the Smart One to Karate and picked up the other two. On the way home, we stopped to stock pile with popcycles, jello, pudding, yogurt, juice and school supplies. (Hey, I get what I can when I can!)

The Good Looking One was nicely settled in my bed by the time I got home. I took a look at our pathetic looking dog who desperately needed to be groomed at a not so cheap price, so decided to do it myself. (He’s still pathetic looking, but at least he’s not as hot.) The Princess spent the next two hours helping me while the others watched a movie…until Bboo spoke up with,

“A snake is loose, isn’t it?”

That’s when I noticed the Drama Queen and the Smart One walking around quietly with a flash light.

They both glanced my way; knew I wasn’t going to fall for anything less then the truth and Bboo had already figured it out by the quiet way they were searching.

Indeed, a snake was loose. After a thorough search, the Smart One went to take a nap and the rest of us just carried on; knowing eventually the snake would show up.

Just a bit ago, the Talented One came calmly walking out of his room holding up a snake.

Apparently he was taking a nap when he felt something crawling over his arm.

Since he’s the one who first talked me into allowing a snake in this house, there wasn’t much he could do but catch it, let us know it’d woken him up, and then put it back into its cage.

Yup, we’re having just another typical Saturday in the Vivas household!

My Boy is a Black Belt!

2011-08-07T05:19:59Z

Five years ago, the Smart One decided he wanted to do karate. We checked out several studios, and finally noticed a new karate studio going in just around the corner from our home. We went in, spoke to Master Sarac, the owner, and never left. The family that has been there for our son over the years has been one I am sure he will cherish for years to come.

I’ll never forget him testing when he was so young. Mr. Murphy was there to hand him his new belt at each test.

As he progressed over the years, there were times when he wanted to quit. One day, he told me,

“No matter how mad I get, Mom, or how much I tell you I want to quit; don’t let me. I want my black belt.”

Ever the leader of his team, Master Sarac encouraged him when he wanted to give up.

And so, he continued on, year after year. The only hold up was a broken wrist, and then a fractured elbow a year later! I wasn’t there for his last test, but Mr. Murphy was. Recently, Mr. Murphy passed away from complications due to diabetes. As we mourned with our son over the loss of a true teacher and friend, he decided the black belt test was for Mr. Murphy. It was what they had talked of together.

Today, I sat through test he’d work so hard to get to. He’s come so far!

Although I am sure it was bittersweet without Mr. Murphy, he did it! I am so proud of what he has accomplished!

Thank you so much, Master Sarac, for the years of dedication you’ve given to our son and so many others! He couldn’t have done it without you!

Camel Spiders

2011-07-26T15:25:47Z

I’ve seen Bboo freak a little lately. I’m getting to know the *look.* Some of you may recall my very first ever blog. I was trying to figure out what to write about and then it happened; the scream…and My First Post!

Fourth of July, the Twin and the Talented One found a camel spider. They were deeply saddened when it was hit by a car. Bboo was thrilled, I’m sure, as they made sure to bring it over and show it off.

Last week, the Smart One, Bboo and the Twin came to help with some labor at my work. She walked in, gave the *look* and started yelling, “Kill it!”

Yup, another camel spider.

Last night, it showed up again. She was walking out the front door and quickly backed her way back into the house. Once again, the *look* and refusal to step outside the door.

I’ve heard she is pretty. I think the camel spiders, all spiders, must know it. That’s why they keep coming after her.

University Orientation!

2011-07-23T01:28:40Z

I just spent the longest eight hours of my life attending a mandatory orientation in order to register the Talented One for his classes at the university. I think perhaps, the university needs some tips on what orientation should entail.

Not to mention the parents who are obviously having a hard time letting go.

To the university,

Perhaps a different orientation should be held for parents who aren’t sure if they want their children to go to college or not. You could spend hours counseling them about *helicopter* parenting, how to raise their children so that they don’t become wild when they go off to college, how they are not allowed to go to class with their college students and how they aren’t allowed to live in the dorms with them.

This would be greatly appreciated by those of us who just want to register our students for their classes and go home. We understand that we’ve raised our children up to become fine, young adults and know they will be able to find their way around the campus on their own. We understand that our children don’t want us going to class with them or telling them what clubs/organizations they need to be a part of. We are confident that if they want us to know, they will share it with us themselves. We are also confident that they will continue to make good choices and no longer need a babysitter; and that if they do make a wrong choice, they will learn from their mistakes without us having to hold their hands or talking to their teachers for them.

To future parents of college freshman,

When you attend orientation, please be mindful of the fact that not every parent in the room is having a hard time letting go of their young adult. Also, please note the following:

No, the university does not offer support classes for parents who are having a hard time letting go. You need to get a grip and realize that it is time to cut those strings. Your student will greatly appreciate it.

No, the university does not offer free babysitting services for your student.

No, the university does not offer services to escort your student home after they’ve made a bad decision to drink at a party. It is a *dry* university. This means that they do not allow alcohol on campus. If you’re student happens to go to a party off campus and drink, the university is not responsible for bringing them safely home. If you have doubts as to what your student will be doing while attending, please discuss this with them before they leave your nest.

No, you may not live with your student in the dorm.

No, you may not attend class with them.

No, you will not be allowed to speak to their teachers.

Yes, you can send them care packages. (especially ones with cookies.)

***********************

This information was provided free of charge. Thank you, and have a nice orientation…er…day.

18 Today!

2011-06-12T15:37:49Z

My boy is turning 18 today…and it’s hard for me to believe.

Hard to believe that 18 years ago today, he came into our world with such an entrance! I remember standing by his little bassinet at the hospital for the first 24 hours waiting to find out if he was going to be able to breathe on his own or not. They begged me to sit down because my legs were so swollen, but I didn’t want to leave his side. His father would talk to him and he’d turn his head to his voice, obviously recognizing the voice that had spoken to my tummy for so many months.

And we cried when they took him by ambulance to another hospital and told us we weren’t allowed to go with him; that we’d have to wait for three long hours until we could come see him. And we waited. And we cried when we were finally able to see him again.

And we waited for three LONG days until we were finally able to hold him.

I remember bringing him home from the hospital and putting his bassinet next to my side of the bed…and listening to make sure he was breathing. I was the goofy parent who would put her pinky up under his nose to make sure I could feel his breath.

Art and I still laugh over putting his crib together. A cousin had given it to us and it didn’t come with instructions. When we finally moved him to the crib, he looks so tiny. He’d sleep on his tummy with his head turned to the side and his little bottom up in the air. One night, the we heard a crash come from his room. We rushed over to find the mattress had fallen down to the carpet! And there was Nathan still sound asleep on his tummy…not even a bit phased, while his parents were about to throw the crib away!

The Talented One was the best baby out of all of them. He didn’t cry much, was always happy. You could put him anywhere and he’d smile and play with his toys…and if he had none around, he’d play with his fingers. He was happy, happy.

Until he turned three. That boy could thrown tantrums like none other! Whew! But we survived!

He’s also, a clone of his father.

Can you tell who is who?

He is also so smart! When he was four, he was stubborn and had no interest in learning how to read. I knew how smart he was, but he was more stubborn. So, one day, I started reading a book to him that was all about snakes and spiders and stuff. He loved it. He asked me,

“So, you mean if I learn to read, I can read about this stuff?”

A week later, the boy was reading! (He also used to have a fascination for reading dictionaries, but he outgrew that! ha ha)

And then there is his music. We realized just how talented he was when he could hear something, and then go play it. I’ll never forget watching the Phantom of the Opera and the next morning, Nathan was playing the music! It was amazing how he could hear something, and then play it. And he’d work at it and work at it until he perfected it. (That’s where the good stubbornness comes in!)

For me, Hume holds a special place in my heart. It was the last camp he went to. He’s never like being away from home for too long, and he certainly doesn’t like to be away from a piano. There was a gorgeous piano at Hume and he wasn’t allowed to play. I knew it was driving him mad, but he exercised so much patience. Finally, he got up enough courage to ask the keyboardist of the worship team if he could play her keyboard for a bit. And she let him. She had him come in when everyone was gone and sat there while he played. What an encouragement.

But I knew it wasn’t enough. I had made up my mind that I would help him play a piano, even before he came and asked me for help. So, we found someone who led us to someone else who was kind and impressed with his persistence. She led us into a room with a piano and gave us 45 minutes. The catch? I had to stay in the room with him.

And so this song is what I will always hold close to my heart.

My heart hurt when certain people put him down and tried to tell him he had no talent. They obviously could not see his heart, or his passion for his music.

And I was never prouder than sitting in the room with my oldest son and the professor while he listened to him play….and then said he was impressed…and that he was in.

This fall, my boy will start a whole new adventure in his life. He’ll be attending university and studying music. He’ll get to learn under some talented staff and play his music.

I’m so proud of what he’s become. He’s an amazing son, a wonderful brother, and a terrific cousin. I’ll never forget those special moments: Dance Revolution in 8th grade, the shopping cart move, his love of all things reptile, and the special notes he’s given over the years.

Wow…eighteen years. Where does the time go?

Happy Birthday, Son. We love you.

Committed

2011-05-30T16:11:07Z

com·mit·ted

Feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated

Today is my anniversary, so this post is dedicated to my sweetie. We’ve been married 19 years. In today’s society, that’s a long time. Art and I come from parents who are also committed. My parents have been married forever…I *believe* it will be 48 years this fall. Art’s parents have been married for close to 40 years (or is it 41?).

Our Wedding

So what’s the secret to our marriage? One, is that he is a dedicated husband and father. He is not only committed, but has a passion for his family.

Always has time for a Cuddle

Did I mention he likes to cuddle?

We have a marriage that is full of love and dedication. Yes, there are days when we may not act so nice, but we forgive, move forward, put our Lord and family first and move forward. Leaving has never been an option; Loving has always been the priority. And I think it shows.

He LOVES me!

He Loves Me a LOT!

He likes to spice up our life!

Our Family

My husband is a great example of putting others before himself, whether small or big. He makes sure the gas fairy fills up my car every Sunday night so I am good for work on Monday morning and he took care of me for months when I was unable to care for myself. He gives me chocolate parties and unhesitatingly will do whatever is asked of him. He doesn’t mind that we always have a houseful of kids/teens whenever there is a day off from school and he always welcome our friends into our home.

I’m so happy to be his wife and look forward to many more years to come!

I love you, babe!