Robin's Guide To Life

Life reminder #44

robinj — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 13:21:34 +0000

“We all want someone to say “everything will be okay” it is the inner child seeking to a comfort blanket”

In fact everything will be okay and this too shall pass but in the meantime we might have to practice some acceptance and letting go. While many look for a sense of inner peace through the knowledge there is a miracle out there some where if they look hard enough. Others gain the inner peace by accepting what they cannot change and changing what they can.

What motivates you?

robinj — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:45:35 +0000

What motivates you what makes you get out of bed in the morning? Is it hope is it necessity is it joy?

This is the problem I have I believe this motivational force has changed with each new generation and not always for the better. Lurking in every corner now is a life coach motivating people with words like success fame wealth. We are encourage to be more have more, we are motivated to climb the ladder step over anyone in our road and trampled the planet in the process.

Whatever happened to being motivated by love, kindness, respect and so forth. Whatever happened to be motivated by rewards such as a “thank you” or a “smile”. I may be simply old and a little jaded maybe I don’t get the need to gather things when life is so fleeting and memories are what you take with you in your next journey. I mean what could be achieved in the world is the people’s motivation shifted from something to be gained on the outside to something to be felt on the inside.

For me the reward is in the “thank you” the moment when I know I have touched a life and brought some hope or joy to another person. You don’t get that when you buy a new or house or pair of jeans. You don’t get that when you reach the top of the corporate ladder. It is a soul connection which is made with the sharing of human kindness, so I ask what is your motivation?

Words

robinj — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:38:49 +0000

Words can do more damage than a loaded gun yet we continually throw them around with careless abandonment. Ever heard a parent say to a child “I wish you had not be born” the words may have bubbled up from a deep frustration but their impact nonetheless is devastating. Children do not have the logic to go “Oh she didn’t mean it she is having a bad day” they internalize they think “She doesn’t love me” or alternatively “What’s wrong with me”.
In the classroom a teachers scolding “You will never amount to anything you are so lazy” can lead a teenager into a path of self destruction those words can become a self fulfilling prophecy. In a marriage a husband joking to his wife “Wow you have put on a bit of weight lately” can plant the seed of an eating disorder. You would be amazed how the most smallest of words can impact upon another person.
The words you hear throughout your lifetime are internalized and used as fodder for the ego self. When you make a mistake you will hear your fathers voice “Can’t you do anything right”. When you put on weight you will hear your Mothers voice “Men don’t like fat girls dear”. When you do not get the job you will hear your teacher’s voice “Better leave school you aren’t smart enough to go to university” and so on. Don’t believe me then the next time you start talking to yourself listen to your words some of us at some stage even go “Oh my God I am starting to sound just like my Mother”.
So basically your mouth is a lethal weapon capable of inspiring or destroying with a single word. When you argue with your spouse you know what words will hurt and what words will bring reconciliation and this applies to all of your relationships.
You cannot take the words back once they are spoken isn’t possible. You cannot cover them up with other words or excuse them away by saying you were having a bad day. Sooner or later you have to take responsibility for them.
Your child deserves to have a reservoir of incredible life affirming words. When they make a mistake they deserve an ego self that will go “Oh well you can learn and grow from this its okay to be human”. Or “you did not get the job but that’s okay because that doesn’t mean you are not intelligent simply that you were not the one they were looking for”. They deserve to know they are loved supported and that they matter and one way they will know this is by the words you choose to throw in their direction. Every word counts and every word needs to be accompanied by an action that supports it. An I love you with a hug is a great gift to give your child.
But your children are not the only people who are affected by your words. Co-Workers, siblings, parents, partners every person you interact with is touched by what you say and how you say it.
Spend one day speaking from a place of love compassion and understanding and see what happens. You do indeed get what you give out back. Its not magical new age thinking but logic people respond better to words of encouragement and support.
When I am doing something and it isn’t being done how you want do not growl and grumble and tell me I am stupid become my teacher and show me how it is done and help me learn new skills.
When I am not listening to your words and you are getting frustrated don’t throw hurtful words at me step back and say I want you to understand how I feel but I know you are not in a place to do that right now so I will wait until you can hear me better.
It is easy to throw a word it is harder to give a hand.
It is easy to wound with words it is harder to build a bridge with them.
I have this very simple rule of thumb….always assume the words you speak are being spoken to you. Then ask yourself how does that make me feel?
The irony of all of this is if we spoke with kindness and thought, if we spoke to affirm rather than hurt, if we took care with words gave them out with great consideration then our world would change. Our world would become more peaceful our relationships more harmonious our children would step into their greatness with confidence.
So instead of walking around with a lethal weapon we would be carrying an instrument of peace….think about it…..

Life reminder #43

robinj — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:55:44 +0000

“Sometimes being right is less important than being supportive and encouraging”

Most of us believe we are doing the other person a favor by pointing out their faults or telling them how we would do it differently. But really we are just being a critical spirit not one coming from unconditional acceptance the simplest way to know when I am being a critical spirit is to ask myself “if this was being said to me how would I feel?” Would I be defensive, angry or would I feel like I was being attacked? If in doubt flip it so you are standing in the other person’s shoes.

Life Reminder #42

robinj — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:37:01 +0000

“Psst don’t tell anyone but you actually don’t have any power at all other than that you have over your own thoughts and actions”

People can think they are powerful by creating fear, intimidating, bullying or using another person’s fears and insecurities against them. But power is not making someone else smaller so you can feel bigger, that is insecurity and fear on your part Power is an illusion you don’t need power to create you need passion, You don’t need power to achieve you need belief in self. You don’t need power to get people doing what you want you need compassion, kindness and the ability to help people step into their greatness.

1 Step at a time

robinj — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:54:29 +0000

Life has become a fast food meal to be scoffed down and digested on the run. We don’t have the luxury of sitting down and enjoying the banquet of beauty Mother Earth lays before us. There is always something else to do and somewhere else to be. We are constantly on the run from life chasing time holding onto youth putting off old age. And yet with all this movement forward we are no closer to where we want to be.
So how to do we get to the place of peace we desire so much well it is easy one step at a time.

Read or download Free Ebook ‘1 Step at a time’

How to find yourself

robinj — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:27:38 +0000

Everyone at some stage will struggle against the tide, feel like they are drowning in their circumstances and wonder if things will ever change. No one is immune to the ups and downs of life.
So what about you? Have you reached the point where you feel lost unimportant
and forgotten? Do you want to scream “what about me?” If so take heart you are not alone.
As tough times land on the door steps of people all over the world the words
“I was lost but now am found ” are gaining a new meaning.

Download or readonline our free Ebook ‘What about me!’

How to make good choices

robinj — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:22:28 +0000

Life is full of moments in which choices have to be made. Some are big some
are small but all come with consequences. The trick is to learn how to make
decisions which do not come back to haunt you as regrets.
Most people think it is only the big choices like getting married, what career to
pursue and whether to have babies which require the most attention. But the
reality is every choice will impact your life and every moment will be filled with
decisions which will ultimately determine your quality of life.
Decisions about relationships, family, work, social activities, health, spirituality
and so forth. The ability to make an informed, confident decision which will
impact our lives as positively as possible is a life skill we need to cultivate.

Download or read online our free ebook ‘Decisions Decisions’

Life reminder #41

robinj — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:56:09 +0000

“The greatest teachers are those who say a lot by saying little”

Mother Teresa said “Small thing done with great love will change the world” she didn’t have a need to say “One’s capacity to fulfill a role in the world is reliant of ones ability to contemplate leave behind ego and step into empathy consciousness bla, bla” In any communication with anyone the more to the point and simple you make it the greater the chance you will not be misunderstood and the person will ‘get’ it. Keep it simple speak from the heart not the head and watch how people start to listen and care about what you are saying

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robinj — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:51:33 +0000

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