Funny Death Ironic Quotes

2010-10-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

Here are some bunch of collected ironic quotes about death. Funny as may it seems, but there are certain truths behind those honest to goodness funny ironic quotes.

"Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die."

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."

"My father died of cancer when I was a teenager. He had it before it became popular."

"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic."

"I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers."

"At my age flowers scare me."

"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."

"It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead your made for life."

"When you've told someone that you've left them a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once."

"Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead."

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."

Feel free to add your ironic quotes about death along with your comments and I will add them up in the list. Thank you and come back again^^

Funny Love Ironic Quotes

2010-10-18T15:58:00.000-07:00

Here are some handpicked ironic quotes about love. These are my personal favorites. Hope you like it as much as I enjoyed sharing it with you.

"Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed."

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"

"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him."

"I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands."

"It is impossible to love and be wise."

"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."

"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is."

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."

"When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him"

"Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others."

"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—"

"The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once"

"A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single."

Please feel free to add your favorite funny ironic love quotes along with your comments and I'm more than happy to add them up in the post. Thank you and see you again next time.