tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14285954946208667572010-05-01T16:54:40.398-07:00Inner RadianceElizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-64036281277546597322010-05-01T16:54:00.003-07:002010-05-01T16:54:40.415-07:00This blog has moved<br /> This blog is now located at http://blog.elizabethrightor.com/.<br /> You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click <a href='http://blog.elizabethrightor.com/'>here</a>.<br /><br /> For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to<br /> http://blog.elizabethrightor.com/feeds/posts/default.<br /> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-6403628127754659732?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-75663546670613227542010-05-01T16:54:00.001-07:002010-05-01T16:54:36.825-07:00This blog has moved<br /> This blog is now located at http://blog.elizabethrightor.com/.<br /> You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click <a href='http://blog.elizabethrightor.com/'>here</a>.<br /><br /> For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to<br /> http://blog.elizabethrightor.com/feeds/posts/default.<br /> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-7566354667061322754?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-24951910887803993532009-12-14T16:46:00.000-08:002009-12-14T16:57:35.830-08:00A New Day Sun<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/owlbordertrimmed-712009.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 211px; height: 320px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/owlbordertrimmed-711994.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;" >He Came Out</span><br /><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br />the darkness, yes,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >but also the light.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >from the East, a new day</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >sun,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >wind that moves</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the fixed within</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the lonesome</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >without.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >owl coming out</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >of a tavern, out of a cave</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >with rubble all around.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >that’s the truth, where</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >he came from--</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >and in the daylight!</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >in the crisp</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >morning air,</span><br /><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >he came </span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >out!</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >I watched him track</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the chipmunk</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >eager, with people staring,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >he sat and watched,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >head movin</span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >g slowly,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >blending into</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the cross of trees</span><br /><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >he called cedar,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >he called home.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >invite in the truth</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >to resurrect</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >the old ways, bring</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >new ways,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >bring them into the world</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >in a good way.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >Visit Inner Radiance Blog again soon for helpful articles, tips on relationships, poetry, inspiration, and insight. Author Elizabeth Rightor, MA, MEd is a family therapist in private practice who specializes in working with couples and women suffering from anxiety. You can find more about her and her work at </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.blogger.com/He%20Came%20Out%20%20the%20darkness,%20yes,%20but%20also%20the%20light.%20from%20the%20East,%20a%20new%20day%20sun,%20wind%20that%20moves%20the%20fixed%20within%20the%20lonesome%20without.%20owl%20coming%20out%20of%20a%20tavern,%20out%20of%20a%20cave%20with%20rubble%20all%20around.%20that%E2%80%99s%20the%20truth,%20where%20he%20came%20from--%20and%20in%20the%20daylight%21%20in%20the%20crisp%20morning%20air,%20he%20came%20out%21%20I%20watched%20him%20track%20the%20chipmunk%20eager,%20with%20people%20staring,%20he%20sat%20and%20watched,%20head%20moving%20slowly,%20blending%20into%20the%20cross%20of%20trees%20he%20called%20cedar,%20he%20called%20home.%20invite%20in%20the%20truth%20to%20resurrect%20the%20old%20ways,%20bring%20new%20ways,%20bring%20them%20into%20the%20world%20in%20a%20good%20way.%20Visit%20Inner%20Radiance%20Blog%20again%20soon%20for%20helpful%20articles,%20tips%20on%20relationships,%20poetry,%20inspiration,%20and%20insight.%20Author%20Elizabeth%20Rightor,%20MA,%20MEd%20is%20a%20family%20therapist%20in%20private%20practice%20who%20specializes%20in%20working%20with%20couples%20and%20women%20suffering%20from%20anxiety.%20You%20can%20find%20more%20about%20her%20and%20her%20work%20at%20www.elizabethrightor.com.">www.elizabethrightor.com.</a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-2495191088780399353?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-66320379550894023052009-12-08T15:11:00.000-08:002010-05-01T16:46:48.836-07:00Kalings--poems on death, love, and rebirth<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.blurb.com/my/book/detail/1060889"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 320px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/Kalings-737282.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">My chapbook of poems, titled <a href="http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/1125485">Kalings</a> </span><span style="font-family:times new roman;">is available online.</span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span>Kalings is a collection of poems on death, love, and rebirth. Its name plays on the common usage of the word calling, which Merriam-Webster defines as "a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence" and Kali, the Hindu goddess of death, destruction, and more positively, eternal energy. These poems comprise a deep spiritual journey through the issues of love, loss, and longing that make each of us human. It is my hope that they will inspire you, transform you, and leave you contemplating your own callings, eager to take steps toward your dreams.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Visit Inner Radiance Blog again soon for helpful articles, tips on relationships, poetry, inspiration, and insight. Author Elizabeth Rightor, MA, MEd, is a family therapist in private practice who specializes in working with couples and women suffering from anxiety. You can find more about her and her work at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.elizabethrightor.com.">www.elizabethrightor.com.</a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-6632037955089402305?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-81552720133414520072009-11-03T09:14:00.000-08:002009-11-03T10:02:34.645-08:00In being a storming ocean, and never a calm blue sea.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/wherever.3-727205.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 240px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/wherever.3-727203.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Recently, in celebration of my father and his life, I participated in a seven-hour silent meditation. I suspected that sitting in silence might quell the intensity of grief I felt about the loss of my father--that I would again feel a sense of peace--and let's just be honest, that my life would go back to normal.<br /><br />I am very glad I did this silent meditation; and yet, it was not at all what I had expected. My day of silence was full of emotion--emotions of every shape and color and sound, emotions of every state of being.<br /><br />Experiencing raw, unfiltered sadness, anger, and loneliness was healing for me. But it was in allowing these emotions in their full force, in not hiding from them or minimizing them, that enabled me to let the emotions move <span style="font-style: italic;">through</span> me and transform me.<br /><br />There was a sense of embracing truth, whatever that was in any particular moment. Truth in memories of my father's strength and love. Truth in feeling that my life would never again be the same. Truth in feeling I did not have enough time with him. And truth in knowing that I have to go on and live my life and my dreams, even though I will miss him greatly.<br /><br />After my experiment finished, my friend who participated in the silent meditation with me shared that a famous Western meditation teacher once talked about accepting whatever you are feeling moment by moment and learning to be at peace with that.</span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> He was, of course, talking about Jon Kabat-Zinn and the book "Wherever You Go, There You Are," which reminded me of something I wrote many years ago about the challenge and beauty of meditation. I would like to share that piece with you here.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"You have always been a storming ocean, and never a calm blue sea…” (2006)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I was looking out at the ocean, thinking that I felt more at home there than anywhere else. I always have. It’s powerful. Awesome. Beautiful. I was wondering why I felt so comfortable. It’s as if part of my soul is fragmented and only comes alive when I’m at the ocean. I’m a Cancer and we love the water? No. It’s almost a full moon? No.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I remember what someone dear to me whom I dated for a very long time said to me once, “You have always been a storming ocean, and never a calm blue sea...”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I wonder what it would be like sometimes—to be like a calm blue sea. Soothing. Peaceful. Not turbulent, wild, unpredictable. That peacefulness, the stillness, is something I long for and yet I wonder if I would be more content living a life that was more constant, not prone to such fluctuation. Such great highs and incredible lows.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">On the drive home, I listened to Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn, where he talked about mindfulness meditation. He says that many of us try constantly to “push the river.” But you can’t push a river.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Exactly!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">He mentioned qualities that can help with a path of mindfulness meditation. Patience. Concentration. Generosity (of self). There was a long list. I think I struggle with many of them. I don’t know how to stand in the middle, to not be swayed by extremes of joy and sadness.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Recently, I was reading about my numerological profile to a friend of mine. It said that people with the number 9 as their life path number swing between depression and ecstasy. “You don’t do that. Swing between depression and ecstasy."<br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">I laughed. “Sadly, yes, I do. Very much so.”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Maybe the calmness comes with practice. Jon Kabat-Zinn mentioned that you can’t aim to obtain a more peaceful state with meditation, but really the purpose is to be fully aware of all moments and emotions exactly as they are. In joy. In anger. In sadness.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">In being a storming ocean, and never a calm blue sea.<br /><br /></span><br />Visit Inner Radiance Blog again soon for helpful articles, tips on relationships, poetry, inspiration, and insight. Author Elizabeth Rightor, MA, MEd is a family therapist in private practice who specializes in working with couples and women suffering from anxiety. You can find more about her and her work at www.elizabethrightor.com.<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-8155272013341452007?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-39034175923884359922009-10-14T12:05:00.000-07:002009-10-14T12:31:00.567-07:00Banyan Tree<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/orangesunset_SM-791735.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/orangesunset_SM-791733.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;font-size:130%;">Banyan Tree</span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;">by Elizabeth Anne Rightor</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >cherish this anger,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >blow into it with billows,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >make it come alive</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >in flame.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >burn all that was in my</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >mind, in my heart.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >sing loudly, shout</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >back</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >at God.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >shout loudly at myself,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >surrender to</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >this fire.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would lean into</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >this</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >unspeakable</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >sadness,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >lean into love</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >that perplexes me</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >that leaves me</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >soaring and longing,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >never knowing the outcome.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >If I were not looking</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >for an easier, softer way,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would say no</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >to anyone and anything</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >that battled</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >with the urgency</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >of my heart,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >battled with the</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >waves of intensity</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >that come calling</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >in the pitch black</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >of night.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would embrace</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >the fire—embrace</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >the darkness and</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >touch the hot stones,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >white—like starlight.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would sit</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >under a banyan tree</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >and let</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >the salt water</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >cover my body—</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >let the elements</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >take away</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >everything.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >let</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >the world</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >hold me.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would let</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >the soft Earth</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >sing to me</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >its sweet song.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would stay</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >here</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >in this world.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would do whatever it takes</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >to kiss the Earth,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >to give back to it</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >the seed that brought</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >me life.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >open trust</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >like a canyon</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >and dive</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >into its deep waters</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >black and blue and</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >turbulent.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would never</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >again</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >look</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >back</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >and wonder</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >why.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would dance</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >with Death.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would call him beside me.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would learn to love</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >his crooked smile.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would allow myself</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >to leave all</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >remaining threads</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >of control.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >I would</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >dive</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >into</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >the deep</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >blue waters</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >of death</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >of love</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >of knowing</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >what can</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >never be</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >understood</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >with beautiful words</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >like raindrops,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >like dancing,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >like hunger.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Visit Inner Radiance Blog again soon for helpful articles, tips on relationships, poetry, inspiration, and insight. Author Elizabeth Rightor, MA, MEd is a family therapist in private practice who specializes in working with couples and women suffering from anxiety. You can find more about her and her work at <a href="http://elizabethrightor.com/welcome.html">www.elizabethrightor.com.</a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-3903417592388435992?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-56133868628749483792009-09-09T11:26:00.000-07:002009-09-09T12:14:55.485-07:00Love Soft Like Silence<a style="font-family: times new roman;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/rocks-790006.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/rocks-790003.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Love Soft Like Silence</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">by Elizabeth Anne Rightor</span></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br /><br />When the rooting is over</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">and springtime again</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />begins to take shape,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">rivers become full again.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Hope springs<br />from</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">the new green<br />that</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">seemingly comes<br />out of nowhere.</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br /><br />Love is soft,</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />when it needs be,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">and harsh when</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />teaching us</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />how to be, again,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">how to lean into </span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />the unknown--</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">to find the gaze</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">of another.</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br /><br />The spot where you</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">vanishes</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />and I</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"> vanish</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;">,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">and we are left</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />to create something</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />new, something holy,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">alive with wonder. </span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br /><br />Love has its own</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">tenacity; it has</span> <span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"><br />its own dream.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">Sometimes, it sounds</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">much<br />like</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;"> silence. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;">Visit Inner Radiance Blog again soon for helpful articles, tips on relationships, inspiration, and insight. Author Elizabeth </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Rightor</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;">, MA, </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">MEd</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> is a family therapist in private practice who specializes in working with couples and women suffering from anxiety. You can find more about her and her work at </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.blogger.com/www.elizabethrightor.com.">www.elizabethrightor.com.</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-5613386862874948379?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-74443989525888841092009-07-24T12:58:00.000-07:002009-07-24T19:18:38.986-07:00The Beat of the Human Heart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/stilllake-733874.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/stilllake-733871.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Recently, I have been thinking about the beat of the human heart--when it races, when it is slow and steady. I have also been seeing more and more clients who are facing anxiety. This brought me back to a book that has been incredibly influential in my work as a therapist called </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.amazon.com/General-Theory-Love-Thomas-Lewis/dp/0375709223">A General Theory of Love</a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">In the book, the authors--three professors of psychiatry at UCSF--discuss neurobiology and the science behind love, bonding, and relationships. More importantly, the authors bring forward a concept called </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbic_resonance">limbic resonance</a><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> and how important having physical touch is, especially during early childhood development. Have you ever noticed how when you are next to someone who is calm, that soon your own breathing and heartbeat slows as well? This is a great example of limbic resonance.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">If you are interested in learning more, Eric Fancis has written a thorough </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://planetwaves.net/pagetwo/2009/04/04/review-general-theory-love/">review of the book</a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">, where he talks about how therapy can help people re-establish connection patters with others by means of limbic resonance.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >"Working with a good therapist, we are developing new limbic patterns; we are literally changing our brain structures, granted, in subtle but effective ways, and developing the capacity to feel. As part of this process, we begin to recognize that relationship experiences other than the ones we had as children and repeated (and reinforced) as adults are possible. We can then take these experiences into the world and relate to others, now that we both have the capacity to do so, and the sense that it’s even possible."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I highly recommend </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >A General Theory of Love </span><span style="font-family:times new roman;">to anyone who participates in counseling or any form of alternative healing. It is full of information and will change the way you look at your relationships with your loved ones, family, and those close to you.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Below, I have included a poem I wrote about the beat of my own heart.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Blessings, Elizabeth</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >Stillness Inside (Rhodeden-drum)<br />by Elizabeth Anne Rightor<br /><br />Rhododendron<br />Breaks through light<br />Out of the darkness<br />Loudly this fire breathes<br />Through me, moves through me<br />The sheer quiet when<br />The beat stops<br />All sounds emerge<br />From the stillness<br />Like flowers opening after<br />The rain<br />And then the drops come<br />Slowly at first<br />And then faster<br />And harder<br />And louder<br />Until they erupt back<br />Into stillness<br />Into quiet<br />Circling back into themselves<br />Into the space<br />Where words need not<br />Be spoken</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Visit Inner Radiance Blog again soon for helpful articles, tips on relationships, inspiration, and insight. Author Elizabeth Rightor, MA, MEd is a family therapist in private practice who specializes in working with couples and women suffering from anxiety. You can find more about her and her work at </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/">www.elizabethrightor.com.</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-7444398952588884109?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-29887038857003484752009-07-01T12:11:00.000-07:002009-07-24T19:00:22.080-07:00The Second Life of Trees<span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">If you take away</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">fear</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">there is only </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">orange light</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;">,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">magnetic and warm</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">a second life</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">cloaking the trees</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">we know as home</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;">.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">the softness of its quiet</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">holds me still</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;">.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">my heart grows against</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">its edges</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">spacious, glowing</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;">.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">this beauty knows</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">no escape from </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">the physical</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;">.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">when such joy </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">cannot move</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">my eyes</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">water</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">such beauty, breaking me</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">open</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">from the inside</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;">.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-2988703885700348475?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-54997263413843604792009-03-21T12:23:00.000-07:002009-03-23T12:22:21.716-07:00Blessings as A Way of Being<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/light-706770.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/light-706767.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Yesterday, I picked up a phenomenal book by one of my favorite authors, Irish poet and theologian John O’Donohue. The book, <span style="font-style: italic;">To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings,</span> is filled with spiritual insight and offers blessings that can be used for ceremonies (“For a New Home”, “For Marriage”, “On The Death of the Beloved”) and also blessings for things we see, feel, and experience each day, such as “On Meeting a Stranger” and “For Light”. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> “O’Donohue looks at life’s thresholds—getting married, having children, starting a new job—and offers invaluable guidelines for making the transition from a known, familiar world into a new, unmapped territory. Most profoundly, however, O’Donohue explains ‘blessing’ as a way of life, a lens through which the whole world is transformed.</span><span style="font-family:times new roman;">”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> </span> <span style="font-family:times new roman;">I can’t wait to read each poem and to savor the blessing each offers.<br /><br />I started this morning with “On Waking”, before going for a beautiful walk as the sun emerged from behind the fog. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">On Waking</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br /><br />I give thanks for arriving</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br />Safely in a new dawn,</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br />For the gift of eyes</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br />To see the world,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >The gift of mind</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br />To feel at home</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br />In my life.<br /></span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >The waves of possibility</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br />Breaking on the shore of dawn,</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br />The harvest of the past</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >That awaits my hunger,</span> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" ><br />And all the furtherings</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >This new day will bring. </span><br /> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >~ John O’Donohue</span> <span style=";font-family:";font-size:12;" ><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" ><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />(C)John O'Donohue. All rights reserved.</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman; font-style: italic;">For more information on the work of John O'Donohue, please visit his Web site at <a href="http://www.johnodonohue.com">http://www.johnodonohue.com</a>, or to order books directly, visit <a href="http://www.johnodonohue.com/books/">http://www.johnodonohue.com/books/</a></span><span style="font-style: italic;">.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">How can you bless what comes your way today? Can you bless the stranger on your path?<br /><br />Can you bless the fire inside yourself, the silence you enjoy while having a cup of tea?<br /><br />Can you bless the mystery of what the day has yet to offer? </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-5499726341384360479?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-10233120804331348172009-03-19T15:15:00.000-07:002009-03-20T00:40:41.150-07:00Who Are You?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/imageessence-751116.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/imageessence-751084.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Who I am</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" >I am the sunlight dancing on water</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />I am the wind running through the trees</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />This is who I am</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br /><br />look inside</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />find the place</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />where for a moment</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />your breath stops</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />and</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />nothing but the beauty</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" >of this one</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" >moment</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;" >unfolding</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" >I am thankful for</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />This life</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />for children running and playing</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" >for the feeling of cold water</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" >on my skin</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />for my teachers</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br /><br />I am thankful</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />for this life</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />I am falling<br /></span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" >in love again</span> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br />with myself</span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-family:times new roman;" ><br /><br /> <span style="font-style: italic;"> ~ Elizabeth Anne Rightor</span></span><br /> <span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);font-size:85%;" > <span style="font-style: italic;"> 3.5.09</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-1023312080433134817?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-8695657077797169692009-03-10T22:41:00.000-07:002009-03-11T22:42:08.077-07:00Healing from Within<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/healingfromwithin-710678.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/healingfromwithin-710673.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >On Friday, I was lucky to attend the <a href="http://www.examiner.com/x-4737-Seattle-Alternative-Medicine-Examiner%7Ey2009m3d9-Healing-from-Within-seminar-in-Seattle-teaches-tools-for-transformation">Healing from Within</a> workshop put on by <a href="http://www.pujaricenter.com/">the Pujari Center</a>. Two of Seattle's most renowned doctors in alternative health, Dr. Astrid Pujari, MD and Dr. Tanmeet Sethi, offered tips on using breath work, meditation, and journaling to access our inner wisdom.<br /><br />I learned so much! It was inspiring to be around so many others who have seen firsthand the incredible benefits of looking within. Both Dr. Pujari and Dr. Sethi believe that pain, although specific in its presentation, is part of the universal human experience and can be something that is used for personal transformation.<br /><br />I felt inspired hearing Dr. Pujari speak of the beauty of seeing the room overflowing with people--that something so difficult could unite so many in community. <span style="font-style: italic;">"You can't talk about healing without talking about pain," </span>says Pujari. <span style="font-style: italic;">"The fact that something so dark could bring so much light is a miracle. It's a demonstration of hope, of beauty, of the power of light."</span><br /><br />Pain is difficult. It is ugly. When we experience pain and discomfort, we think we are all alone--that no one could possibly understand what we are going through. But feelings of loneliness, of sadness, of fear, even feelings of rage touch all of our lives at one point or another.<br /><br />We may ask ourselves questions that speak to our feelings of isolation.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Why me?"</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><br />"What am I doing this for?"</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><br />"Why is this happening to me?"</span><br /><br />Dr. Pujari and Sethi shared that in all their years of watching patients, family members, and loved ones going though pain, there were three simple things that helped people navigate through painful circumstances and move forward.<br /><br />While it is not always possible to make pain go away, there is hope. These steps provide tools for entering into a different relationship with our pain.<br /><br /></span><ol style="font-family:times new roman;"><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Be aware of your pain</span><span style="font-size:100%;">--It takes courage to admit that we are hurt, that we don't have it together all the time. It requires honesty with self and vulnerability. Notice your pain. Where does it live in your body? In your spirit?<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Be willing to explore your pain</span><span style="font-size:100%;">--Listen to your pain. Talk to it. Get to know it as you would get to know a dear friend. In our culture, we are taught to run away from our emotions, to run away from conflict, but this only results in disconnection from ourselves and others. Treat your emotions as friends, lovers, teachers, and beloved children. Be kind to them.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Be willing to allow love to flow into your pain</span><span style="font-size:100%;">--All pain is universal. The triggers may be different (the loss of a spouse or an illness such as Cancer), but the end result is the same. Allow love to move through you, to touch your pain, and listen to what it has to teach you.<br /></span></li></ol><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I took away several tools that I can use with my clients. And, for myself personally, I learned some innovative and transformative tools, such as "Shaking Meditation" (to free all the areas that get stuck--emotionally, spiritually, and mentally) and a journaling process called "Dialogue with a Symptom."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">At first, I found the symptom I chose to work with to be sarcastic and mean. But by the end of the conversation, his tone had changed. He offered warm, gentle advice like an old friend. He nudged me instead of yelling at me.<br /><br />Maybe what changed was not the voice of my pain at all. Maybe what changed was my ability to hear my own inner wisdom.<br /><br />What a beautiful gift!<br /><br />What does your pain have to show you?<br /></span></span></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-869565707779716969?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-30579447860571143492009-03-04T14:42:00.000-08:002009-03-04T15:18:08.295-08:00Move over reptilian brain, there's a new brain in town!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/treeoflife-753504.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/treeoflife-753460.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Let’s start with an apology. I am sorry I haven’t written lately. I apologize to all of you and, most importantly, I apologize to myself. Writing makes me happy; writing keeps me healthy. It is how I move energy and process all of thoughts and emotions that get stored in my body from the work I do.<br /><br />Put simply, writing helps me make sense of the world and my place in it.<br /><br />Over the last few months, I have been struggling with some rather large health issues. While I don’t feel it’s appropriate to go into great detail here, I will say that my body has been rejecting anything and everything I have put into it.<br /><br />After weeks of searching, working with an extremely gifted naturopath, getting blood work done (not once, but twice), and being advised</span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"> by many wonderful energy healers, I realize there are no easy answers.<br /><br />I admit I have felt scared by what has been happening, but I am now aware that I have been reacting with only a small and very old part of my brain; I have been seeing the world through what neuroscientists call the <span style="font-weight: bold;">reptilian brain</span>.<br /><br />According to author, therapist, and NLP master Yvonne Oswald, relying on this part of the brain might have ensured the safety of our ancestors, but can no longer meet our current needs. The reptilian brain protects us when our lives are in danger, when we don’t have even a second to think. Put your hand next to a hot stove and this automatic brain function helps you to react quickly. In more dangerous situations, it can save your life.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">However, living in this day and time while moving between states of “fight or flight” and merely trying to survive is like getting a job as a McDonald’s cashier when you have a PhD in astrophysics —it’s not taking advantage of the resources you have or the possibilities before you.<br /><br />According to the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Triune Brain Theory</span>, two other parts of the brain—the limbic system and the neocortex—offer us the ability to operate in the world in more productive and fruitful ways.<br /><br />The limbic system, also referred to as the “middle brain,” governs emotions (especially those other than fear and anger), parts of our personal identity, rules around social interaction, and communication. It helps us navigate our lives, because of the order it offers.<br /><br />In her book, <span style="font-style: italic;">Every Word Has Power: Switch on Your Language and Turn on Your Life</span>, Oswald calls the limbic system the “family brain,” because of its role in creating and sustaining social norms. While this part of the brain helps individuals live harmoniously with othe</span><span style="font-family:times new roman;">rs through strong boundaries surrounding family, tribe, and community, its main drawback lies in the fact that it only allows the world to be viewed in black and white. Oswald summarizes the limbic system by saying, “Its goals are short-term and focus primarily on good/bad, right/wrong, and yours/mine. It’s habitual, hierarchical, and simplistic. It does not have a capacity to visualize or grow because it thinks in terms of polarities.”<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">How can we see beyond such polarities and make efforts toward self-actualization?</span><br /><br />The answer lies in the last part of the triune brain, called the <span style="font-weight: bold;">cerebral cortex </span>or <span style="font-weight: bold;">neocortex.</span> The word neocortex comes from Latin, meaning “new bark”. It is the most recently developed part of the brain and is responsible for higher brain function, such as initiative, reason, and <span style="font-weight: bold;">imagination</span>. It is also what makes our love of art, literature, and philosophy possible.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Although this part of our brain governs speech, Oswald suggests that the language we use today fails to accurately reflect or capitalize on our potential as human beings. Many ideas and concepts became entrenched in language when we only saw two choices before us: good and bad. With tools such as NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) and conscious language, we have the power for our language to be <span style="font-weight: bold;">creative </span>rather than <span style="font-weight: bold;">merely descriptive</span>.<br /><br />Oswald asks readers to notice how their use of language affects their lives.<br /><br />When you consciously weed out fear-based language and nonsupportive beliefs, you open yourself up to new possibilities. Oswald says:<br /></span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/birdinflight-744134.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/birdinflight-744129.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />This h</span></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;">i</span></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;">gher brain function is where your mag</span></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;">ic formula for happiness begins as you</span></span> <span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;">connect with the higher consciousness. Use</span></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> of the higher brain produces consistent</span></span> <span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;">success in your everyday life. You can now plan your goals and visualize wonderful</span></span> <span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;">possibilities with this magical tool.<br /><br />Rather than use the higher brain to rescue yourself</span></span> <span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;">when you feel less than happy, it’s time to utilize it and live in it by “spring cleaning” your</span></span> <span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-style: italic;">language<br />…going beyond what you ever thought possible to achieve.</span></span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">So, I am taking a page from Oswald’s book and paying attention to how I speak and think about my health.<br /><br />I’m telling my reptilian brain to take a hike, letting go of long-held beliefs about my body, and sitting in silence more.<br /><br />And, I’m writing again.<br /><br />I can feel the possibilities unfolding…even before I can see them.<br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-3057944786057114349?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-69632896635978238642009-02-03T09:00:00.000-08:002009-02-03T09:10:45.112-08:00Giving and Receiving in Balance<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/flicker-782484.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 211px; height: 320px;" src="http://elizabethrightor.com/blog/uploaded_images/flicker-782465.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">A colleague and friend of mine recently invited those she knows to follow her in giving </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://www.29gifts.org/">29 Gifts in 29 Days</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">. I wanted to share the experiment with you, as it has been a topic that has been on my mind lately. I was deeply moved by Courtney's recent post on her </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://thehealingnest.blogspot.com/">Healing Nest Blog</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> and by the possibilities such a project offers. Courtney asks each of us to reflect on the balance of giving and receiving in our lives:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;">"In your own life, do you find that you give in a way that makes you feel exhausted? Do you ever find yourself having a hard time receiving? Joining this project has made me much more aware of my relationship to giving in general. Are there times when I resent giving (and why)? When do I resist accepting someone's generosity (and why)? How do I care for myself when I give a great deal without listening to my own body's message to take a break? How do I feel when I give without expecting anything in return? When has giving given me great joy?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;">You can read the entire post and find more information about how you can participate in the 29 Gifts in 29 Days project </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://thehealingnest.blogspot.com/">here</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">. I invite you to take the challenge with me.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-6963289663597823864?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-12617262717028991352009-01-07T15:33:00.001-08:002009-01-11T22:23:59.417-08:00Mindfulness One Moment at a Time<span xmlns="" style="font-size:100%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I went on a walk this morning and I was absolutely filled to the brink. For me, walking<em> is </em>meditation. Although I love going for walks with the dogs, there is something different when it is just me in the middle of nature. As I write this, I suppose it's not me at all; walking around Seward Park or through the forest, I feel connected to <em>all that is</em>. I feel inspired and energized.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Over the years, I've seen how powerful meditation can be. It's amazing what comes up when you take the time to stand still, even for a moment. I've also seen meditation take many forms--sitting in <em>Zazen</em>, breath work, or taking a day of silent meditation.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Having lived in Asia for many years, it's no wonder to me how Buddhist concepts and principles of mindfulness are found in so many healing modalities, especially therapy. I like that there are enough forms of meditation and approaches to meet various needs.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Meditation can work wonders. It is one of the best treatments for anxiety. It can also give power to visualization and help you access your intuition and guidance.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I've heard many people say that they can't meditate. But meditation does not have to mean sitting for long periods of time. According to the authors of Wildmind, <em>"Meditation involves a principle of awareness that you can practice in every moment of your life." </em><br /> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">You can stop in the middle of your day and listen to your breath. You can practice being aware of your thoughts as they come and go.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><em>Do you meditate? If so, what works for you?</em><br /> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">There are many wonderful resources for those looking to incorporate meditation into their lives. Many of these resources are free of charge, while others require small investments and come with high rewards: inspiration, a sense of calm, self-acceptance.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Meditation and Mindfulness Resources</span><br /></span></p></span><ul><li><span xmlns="" style="font-size:100%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Integrated Amrita Meditation Technique</span>--Free weekend intensive and day-long trainings on meditation using a <a href="http://www.ammanewengland.org/IAM-Home.htm">technique</a> developed by Amma.</span></p></span></li><li><span xmlns="" style="font-size:100%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Walking Meditation</span>--Wildmind offers information on <a href="http://www.wildmind.org/walking">walking meditation</a> and daily tips for living mindfully.</span></p></span></li><li><span xmlns="" style="font-size:100%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Wherever You Go There You Are"</span>--Jon Kabat-Zinn has both a book and an audio CD that can help anyone incorporate mindfulness and meditation into their llives.</span></p></span></li><li><span xmlns="" style="font-size:100%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Meditation for Beginners: How to Start a Meditation Practice</span>"--This audio CD by Jack Kornfield is great for beginners and has tips you can start to use right away (available from Soundstrue.com).</span></p></span></li><li><span xmlns="" style="font-size:100%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">"The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are"</span>--Author Dan Seigal is considered an expert on mindfulness research and the field of interpersonal neurobiology. The <a href="http://drdansiegel.com/">Mindsight Institute</a> offers a wealth of information on mindfulness and brain science.</span></p></span></li><li><span xmlns="" style="font-size:100%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Meditation Classes in Seattle</span>--David Tucker offers <a href="http://thezenofhealing.com/meditation/">free meditation classes</a> in true Zen style.<br /></span></p></span></li></ul><span xmlns="" style="font-size:100%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><br />Or, you could do what I do and go out for a walk.<br /></span></p></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-1261726271702899135?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-31881289382049365572008-12-31T21:39:00.000-08:002009-01-11T23:37:11.998-08:00Start Where You Are<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">In the last week, I’ve heard a lot of talk about resolutions. </span></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >Do you believe in them? Do they work? </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Personally, I don’t do well with resolutions, as there is an expectation that they fail.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I do make it a practice to regularly set intentions—and I don’t just do this at the New Year. I try to approach each day intentionally and set aside time at other occasions, like when I moved into a new office last month.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">As this year winds to an end, I’m choosing not to go out on the town, and instead am having a quiet evening at home reflecting and planning.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">It’s easy to get swept up in excitement for all that a new start offers us and quickly brush the past year from our minds. 2008 has been a monumental year for me. Stopping to think about what has transpired has given me new energy in terms of what I would like to manifest in the coming year.</span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" >How have you been moved? What successes would you like to celebrate? Who has been central to your journey?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Reflecting on the past year often gets us thinking about how we would like to change. Maybe we want to have more adventure in our lives, or be healthier, or believe we would be happier in a relationship—or happier in another relationship if the one we are in feels difficult.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I’d like to challenge you to think about your goals in a slightly different way. It’s ironic to say the least, but one of the key things about moving closer to your goals is to appreciate where you are.</span><br /></span><ul style="font-family:times new roman;"><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Want to work on your weight?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> What do you love about your body now? Do you have a great smile, or love the way you feel in a certain pair of jeans?</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Want to have more intimacy in your relationship?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Instead of waiting for your partner to change, try to express the qualities you value. Want to be treated with more kindness? How can you inhabit that quality? How can you </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Be Kindness</span><span style="font-size:100%;">?</span></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Want to experience more abundance in your business?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Make a list of all the things you are grateful for.<br /></span></li></ul><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The power you have is always in the present moment. So, start where you are.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Happy intention setting.</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-3188128938204936557?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1428595494620866757.post-60939906244962737412008-12-19T15:22:00.000-08:002009-01-11T23:37:45.706-08:00In Between Time<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;">As the new year approaches, I have been thinking about changes I want to make in 2009. It's a powerful time--a time of rebirth and growth. It's a time for reflection of how far we have come and where we would like to go. The months leading up to the end of 2008 have been filled with change for me personally. I sold the first house I ever owned, moved both my home and my office, and am still adjusting emotionally to these changes.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;">Amidst the chaos I felt last fall, I was asked to write an article on dealing with transitions by a friend and colleague who had just lost a loved one. I would like to share it with you here.</span><br /></span><p style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >I would love to live</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Like a river flows,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Carried by the surprise</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Of its own unfolding</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em><br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> ~John O'Donohue </span></em></span></p> <p style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Fall is my favorite season. I love the colors, the way the air feels fresh and clean. It's almost as if you can taste the possibility of things to come. This season has always been about transitions. <strong style="font-weight: normal;">Nature shows us with breath-taking beauty that change is the most poignant of paradoxes. It is both beneficial and unavoidable.</strong> Changing seasons remind us that we must find a way to release the old to make room for the new.</span></p> <p style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">It is this <em>in between time</em> that offers us insight to our deepest, most sacred selves—when what we used to know is no longer true and what fills the space has yet to come into fruition. Transitions can be difficult, because they bridge the known and unknown. <strong style="font-weight: normal;">Times of transition can often bring feelings of emptiness and confusion, when questions remain unanswered. </strong></span></p> <p style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">We go through transitions both when we are building on our life's dreams and also for unexpected reasons. The loss of a loved one, the end of a long-term relationship, or the diagnosis of an illness may propel us quickly into a state of transition. <strong style="font-weight: normal;">What many people fail to realize is that periods of transition that are in line with our heart's longing can also be disorienting.</strong> Conceiving a child, starting a new business, getting engaged, or preparing for college-age sons and daughters to leave home may be bittersweet.<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">This period of transition, coupled with the current financial market has been challenging for many of us. <strong></strong></span></p><p style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">As Bernice Johnson Reagon says, "Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they're supposed to help you discover who you are." Whatever the reasons for transition, the following tips can help you navigate the transition smoothly and learn about yourself in the process.</span></p> <ul style="font-family: times new roman;"><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Stay in the present moment as much as possible—</strong>Thinking about what could have been or trying to plan for what might happen in the future can drain you physically and emotionally. A good question to ask yourself is, "What do I need right now?" At first, you may come up with answers about next week, next month, or even tomorrow. It is helpful to focus on the present moment. You don't need to know all the steps along the journey. Just take the next best step. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Stay physically active and get grounded in your body</strong>—Nothing beats exercise for helping keep everything in perspective. Try a yoga class; go for a long walk; or take a bicycle ride. Physical activity helps us to feel alive and spurs creativity. Plus, by being physically engaged, you can clear some of the mental chatter of worry. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Choose to look for and focus on the positive</strong>—My mentor once told me, "Fear is a gross misuse of imagination." I try to remember this about fear when I'm faced with anxiety, imaging what could happen. When we contemplate the unknown, we are sometimes caught up in the fact that "anything can happen." Why not turn that idea around for your benefit? Yes, anything can happen, that includes things that are beyond comprehension, which are positive, things beyond your wildest dreams.</span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Set positive intentions</strong>—Think about what it will feel like when you are on the other side of this transition. Use all of your senses to feed into this picture of your life: smell, touch, sound, taste. What will it feel like in your body? Imagine being healthy and vibrant. Picture with great detail what your new job will be like or how it will feel to hold a new-born baby in your arms. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Let go of expectations</strong>—Be open to the outcome and appreciate the learning and growth the transition offers. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Trust that you are resilient and have the strength and resources you need—</strong>Have you ever heard we are never given more than we can handle? There is a Chinese proverb I've always admired, "You can only go halfway into the darkest forest; then you are coming out the other side." Trust that things will get better. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Understand that life has a rhythm of its own—</strong>As individuals, we are constantly evolving, becoming. Our transitions move us forward in life. According to Harrison Owen, four spiritual laws govern all of life: whoever comes are the right people; whatever happened is the only thing that could have happened; whenever it starts is the right time; and when it's over, it's over. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Breathe</strong>—In <em>Loving What Is</em>, Byron Katie talks about how breath is one of the most powerful mechanisms for healing. We can bring intentionality to our breath and let it soothe our minds and bodies. Even if you are not conscious of it, your breath flows naturally. Katie says it's not about our "doing the breathing," but instead about letting go. In that letting go, "we are breathed." Just as our breath works as it should, she suggests our lives do as well. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Reach out to family and friends</strong>—Making connection with those we care about and scheduling time for fun can help during challenging times. People who are witness to your life can help you stay grounded and optimistic. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Seek help—</strong>I love working with clients in transition, because my job is to mirror back to them their own brilliance and resources. Change can be scary; it helps to have someone to walk with through the waters of transition. </span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong>Look for resources that can inspire and uplift you—</strong>One of my favorites is <em>Transitions: Prayers and Declarations for a Changing Life</em> by Julia Cameron. It's filled with reflections and tidbits that can bring meaning when nothing seems to make much sense.</span></li></ul> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">May you be at peace where you are and be carried by the surprise of your own unfolding. </span></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;">(This article was reprinted from Biznik. If you are interested in hearing other tips on dealing with transitions, you can see the original article here: </span><a style="font-family: times new roman;" href="http://biznik.com/articles/moving-through-transitions-with-grace">http://biznik.com/articles/moving-through-transitions-with-grace</a><span style="font-family: times new roman;">).</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1428595494620866757-6093990624496273741?l=elizabethrightor.com%2Fblog' alt='' /></div>Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14684449551483518020elizabethrightor@gmail.com3