Immediate Regret

Home Brewing Part 1: The History

2013-05-15T22:39:00.000-05:00

Posted by Ross

Note to the reader: This was written in January 2009 and never published. I think Andy (RoyalCow) helped me, and Drew was supposed to write part 3, which may never happen.

This is part one of a three part post on home brewing. Part 2: The Science, and Part 3: The Art. We have also have made Appendix: The Language, which you can use as a reference for brewing jargon.

Prehistory:

First we must start by looking at the origins of beer. You can't really talk about the history of home brewing without talking about the history of beer. This isn't a chicken and the egg situation. The first beer was brewed at home, not at Budweiser. I'd like to imagine it wasn't too much longer before we some enterprising young lad set up the first pub and brewery after stumbling upon the recipe for beer. In actuality it was likely much longer.

It's impossible to pen that story of the first brewer not just because nobody was writing anything down, but also because if you were handed a beer in Ancient Mesopotamia, you probably wouldn't recognize it as beer. The first variations of beer were probably created on accident around 7,000 years ago, give or take a few millenia. The first time barley was fermented and consumed must have been a mystery. There was no way of knowing about our microscopic miracle workers, yeast. We can only assume it happened completely by accident. The first accidental brewer was probably starting to make bread as he got called off to war. While he was gone some wild yeast floated on in to his home. Upon returning a few days later he must have been very thirsty from spending all that time defeating enemies. Little did he know, drinking that leftover mystery bowl on the kitchen counter was the first celebratory beer.

As I mentioned, nobody really knows how any of this happened. The first batch of beer may have been preceded by other accidentally fermented beverages, or could have contained much more than just barley. Let's stick to the facts.

Early History

Sure enough, along with the first writings of the Sumerians was evidence of beer. Much like today, they had laws regulating how society could enjoy its home-crafted beverages. They even had a goddess of beer, Ninkasi. Although many other civilizations weren't writing, we believe they were independently discovering beer, and had their own regional variations. Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania found what they believe to be residue from beer on pottery found in Iran that dates to 3500 B.C. People who like Budweiser would have found themselves at home in Asia thousands of years ago, as they were probably brewing beer with rice. Europe was also partaking in the beer party 5,000 years ago.

The Renaissance

I'm refering to what I call the Beer Renaissance, which predates the actual Renaissance by centuries. It had it's beginnings in the 9th century, when monks first recorded using hops in beer. We all know hops are one of the staple ingredients of modern beer, the other parts will go into more detail about why they are so important. To this day monastaries remain masters of the craft. Just look at Beer Advocate's List of top beers. Anywhere you see the word trappist means it was brewed under the control of a Trappist Monk. This age fully came about in the middle of the actual Renaissance in 1516 when Germany enacted the Reinheitsgebot, or beer purity law. Some say this was created by a secret society, which still exists today and controls key members of the FDA. (OK, not really). This law stated that beer must consist of only three ingredients: water, barley and hops. Yeast was still unknown at this time.

The Modern Era

Our history of home brewing splits with the Industrial Revolution. Since the advent of big breweries home brewing began to fade away. Around the start of the 20th century there was legislation in place in the UK and US that made home brewing difficult. With the onset of the prohibition it became outright illegal. There was an entire culture that sprang up around illegal home crafted alcholic drinks, however this era revolved mostly around distilled spirits. Imagine a little girl as a moonshine runner trying to hide a keg in her bike basket.

Home brewing as we know it started in 1979, when Carter signed an act passed by congress the year before. This eased restrictions and made it legal for guys like you and me to brew beer in the privacy of our own homes. I don't feel like we've come that much further in 30 years. As a matter of fact, states like Utah and Alabama are still fighting to legalize home brewing and repeal other ridiculous alcohol related laws.

Unfortunately by the time that home brewing become a realistic option America's taste for beer had been dulled by lack of availability and a the marketing efforts of the major breweries. It was the symbiotic relationship between craft brewing and home brewing that revived beer to what we know it as today in the U.S. When I say craft brewing, I'm refering to things like microbreweries and brew pubs. A major break through came in the form of the New Albion Brewery in Sonoma, CA. So, although you may think of Sonoma as 'Wine Country' beer drinkers should have a great appreciation for the city as well. The co-arising of the home brewers and craft brewers persisted throught out the next decade. Craft brewing exposed more people to good beer, which spurred an interest in home brewing, which created an interest in good beers, which increased demand for the craft breweries as well as brewers capable of making them... Well, you see where this is going. This continued through the 80's, which brought us companies like Wyeast, Whitelabs and Five Star Chemical. Companies that have been serving home brewers and craft brewers alike for decades now.

Along come the 90's. At this point in time the craft brewing scene is really gaining momentum. The American public had finally taken an interest in ~~good~~ great beer. By 1996 there were over 1000 homebrew shops in the US. Microbreweries distribution reached far and wide, they could put on nationwide ad campaigns. Home brewers paved the way for the variety and quality of beer that we enjoy here in America today. There's a thriving culture around home brewing. Styles are being improved, invented and even resurrected. You'll have a hard time finding the range and quality of beers anywhere else in the world that can be found here. ~~(Alabama excluded)~~. Even the large breweries are getting on board by purchasing craft breweries and creating their own lines of craft beers. We home brewers have come a long way from our humble prehistoric beginnings. Next time you're out at the bar, enjoying a well crafted malt beverage, raise your glass in salute of your local home brewer for being a part of the beer revolution.

Edit: At the time of writing this (4.5 years ago), brewing was illegal in Alabama. As of a few days ago, it is finally legal.

Now that Google Reader Sucks, Here's a Temporary Workaround for Sharing

2011-10-31T22:17:00.004-05:00

Posted by Double M

Go to your Google Reader Import/Export page

Copy the URL from any one of the JSON Activity Streams and paste it into something like Notepad

Pull out the number after user but before state. For instance, this is what one of my URLs looks like - I've bolded the number you need.

http://www.google.com/reader/export/jas/user/14159582261100281918/state/com.google/broadcast?filename=shared-items-jas.json&likes=false&n=99999&verb=shared&co=false&hl=en

There's probably an easier way to get this number, but I'm just getting it out there

Open a new tab and type http://www.google.com/reader/shared/[number] obviously replacing [number] with your number. My URL is:

http://www.google.com/reader/shared/14159582261100281918

Again, there is probably an easier way to get this, but this seems to work

You now have the RSS feed for your Google Reader content. You can't share to it from Google Reader, but you can share to it from Feedly which can seamlessly integrate with Google Reader and seems to have apps for mobile.

If you post your RSS feed here, I'll add it to my feeds. Not sure if there's a way to comment, but at least we can share.

Now we need to figure out commenting and whether this even works. Someone test it out and let me know.

Double M's Life Rules #25: Socks

2011-10-14T08:15:00.003-05:00

Posted by Double M

There are a few rules to socks that will stand the test of time

If you wear kicks everyday like me (I'm not really a sandals guy), then you'll wear socks a lot. As such, there are a few rules you (and everyone) should live by with respect to socks.

I'm going to avoid style rules because there are too many caveats and styles change over time. As long as you wear socks, these rules should apply:

If you get a hole in the toe area, throw the sock out immediately. In terms of small annoyances, a hole in the toe area of a sock ranks up there with a paper cut between your fingers and pants that are one size too tight - you can live with it if you have to, but you'll hate it the entire time. This is especially relevant in dress socks.

If you get a small hole in the heel or bottom of the sock, you can wear the sock until the previously small hole becomes a big hole which will likely be the end of the day (even if it isn't you should just get rid of it because when you wash that sock the hole will get bigger, no doubt).

If you start with a big hole in the heel or bottom, the sock has ended its usefulness to you and should be disposed of pronto.

If you get a hole on the top of the sock, stop, ponder your life choices (specifically how in the hell you got a hole on the top of your sock), and toss it. You don't want to be in a situation where you have to take off your shoes in front of other people only for them to see the mind-blowingly crazy hole in the top of your sock and then question your life savvy.

If the elastic is worn out at the top of the sock, trash it and pick out a new sock. A sock that twists on your foot or slides down your foot into your shoe will be highly inconvenient if you have to walk more than 10 steps.

If you buy multiple pairs of the same socks and one sock goes down, keep the widowed sock loose in your sock drawer. You never know when you'll have another matching single sock go down. Instead of losing two pairs, you'll have only lost one.

Moderate-style rule: Socks and sandals do not go together (unless you're wearing athletic sandals and even then it might only be post-workout). You might see someone doing it; they are doing it wrong.

Putting socks on cats is funny

Double M's Life Rules #24: The Grass Isn't Always Greener...

2011-08-24T08:30:00.001-05:00

Posted by Double M

There's a common quote "The grass isn't always greener on the other side" but that is only half of the quote

Side note: Without doing any research I believe this phrase was started by farmers that would complain about their cattle breaking through their fences to get to the taller, greener grass on the other side of the fence. This is one of the reasons why farmers started using barb wire fences.

Clarification: There's a difference between looking and admiring. I can admire my neighbor's lawn without wanting to leave my house; but if I'm looking then I'm probably getting ready to move.

Regress: Let's be honest, the reason you're looking to the other side of the fence is because you know the grass you are currently standing in isn't where you want to land long term. You're looking for a change. If that wasn't the case, you wouldn't really be looking.

In that case, here are the potential 2nd halves to the phrase "The grass isn't always greener on the other side..."

...it might look different because they dress it up, but its still the exact same stuff underneath.

...that grass is just as bad or worse than the stuff you're in and you'd be better off packing up and going somewhere completely different.

...it actually is greener, but getting to it is going to be pain because you're going to have to go through that barb wire fence to get there.

Change is never easy, but if you're considering making the change, it is always better to just get it over with now. There's nothing worse than chewing on bad grass for longer than necessary - it only makes you weak and the change even harder.

Double M's Life Rules #23: Allow People to Change Friendship Levels

2011-05-23T07:45:00.001-05:00

Posted by Double M

The Zombie rule: Understand that your friendships will change. If you don't, you are going to screw yourself

Remember back when I said there's three types of friends and that you should rock a small circle? If not, take a few seconds to read that post.

For those of you that are too lazy to do that, here's the summary:

Acquaintances - People you know but aren't really tied to you.
Friends - People that you love hanging out with and may count on. They can range from poor to awesome.
Inner circle - People you trust completely; your best friends

Ok, so now that you're caught up, allow me to introduce the Zombie rule. In almost every zombie movie, there's a pack of people that are escaping the zombies and after a brief scuffle with the zombies, one of the people gets infected. This means that they will become a zombie in the very near future and start devouring the group. This person almost always tries to hide this fact.

Of course, there isn't anything that person can do to prevent becoming a zombie and eventually other people in the group figure it out. Most of the time, this person is a relative/a best friend/really-valuable-to-the-group and this creates a dilemma: does the group let emotions get in the way and keep this person around, knowing that the longer this goes on, the bigger threat the infected person poses; or do they make the hard choice of cutting this person out because it is for the best?

The same analogy can be made with your friendship groups, specifically your inner circle. There will be times in your life where your best friends slowly (or quickly!) fade away. This can happen because of communication (maybe you move away and are bad at keeping in touch), or the person freaks out about something they shouldn't and burns you, or the person uses some info from a private chat to get you in trouble or further themselves. Maybe this person starts dating someone and suddenly doesn't make time for you. Hell, it could be as simple as this person not really wanting to hang out solo for whatever reason. There are more reasons than I have time to list (maybe I'll make an appendix to the book), but in general, it will be obvious.

Once the person has started to float out of your inner circle, you have a decision to make: do you keep them around or do you let move them out to the next tier.

In a zombie movie it is clear cut: kill the person (at least leave them behind). In real life, it is hazier. In the best case, the person will move themselves out of the group by virtue of screwing you too many times or just falling out of touch. More often, this person may be cool part of the time but have an occasional slip up. When this is the case, you can decide how much is too much and when you push them out of the inner circle. Just remember, if you try to hang on to someone that is screwing you over, or is too cool to hang out, or is getting into trouble (read: crime/serious drugs/etc), that person is going to eventually become a zombie and really screw you. Cutting them earlier may be hard, but it is often for the best.

The good news: just because you're removing someone from your inner circle doesn't mean they are out of your life completely. Some people have moved from my inner circle but are still really good friends - they just don't have the opportunity to actually screw me. This is better for some of those friends too because they know I'm not going to count on them as much, which lowers the burden on their life.

Double M's Life Rules #22: Define Your Success by the Success of Your Friends

2011-05-13T07:30:00.000-05:00

Posted by Double M

While you can't only lift everyone else up, your life will be much better if you can partially define your success by helping others succeed

This is the Robert Horry rule. Unless you know the NBA (and, Braylon, by the time you read this, NBA history) you probably don't know Horry. Horry won 7 NBA championships, more than any other player in the modern era of basketball, but you probably don't know him. He was never the best player on the team, always overshadowed by players like Hakeem, Shaq, Kobe, Ginobili, and Duncan. Horry knew his role and he knew how to contribute when necessary.

However you measure it, Horry had a successful NBA career. But if you look at his individual accolades, you'll see that he was never an all-star or a NBA first-team (or any-team) guy. He just contributed and won.

Not everyone can win the MVP and Horry understood that. Horry was never about his own success - he understood his role within the team was happy helping other teammates earn their individual awards. I'm sure Horry could have complained his way onto a bad team where he had a chance to be the big shot, but to him it was more important to win, and he was willing to do whatever it took to win. Robert Horry was willing to define his own personal success by his teams' successes and helping other people achieve greatness.

At some point in your life you'll have the chance of being part of a team shooting for something bigger, and chances are you won't be the big shot on the team (remember rule #19 Someone is Going to be Better at Whatever You're Doing than You Are). When this happens, you'll have a simple question that you'll need to answer:

Can I define my successes by making other people successful?

If you can, chances are you'll be part of something great and you'll be a happier person too. If you can't, then be prepared to fight a battle to the top on your own.

Double M's Life Rules #21: Understand the Rules of Graph C

2011-05-11T07:30:00.004-05:00

Posted by Double M

There are a few life rules that can be expressed mathematically. Understanding these graphs will help explain (and even predict) a lot of the craziness that happens in life.

Unfortunately, not all of the life rules can be written out for various reasons. This is one of those rules.

The graph below, Graph C, is one of the most important graphs you'll see in your life. It is purposely vague, because like all real valuable things, you'll have to work for it to completely enjoy it. There are definitely enough clues to make it obvious to those who know.

The beautiful thing about this graph is that it can convey different things to each person, but the underlying point remains the same. Once you understand this graph, it will act as a map to help you avoid potential land-mines both internally and externally.

In an effort to protect the meaning of this graph, I won't answer any questions about it in the comments. Feel free to text me or email me and I'll probably give you a sufficiently vague reply.

Double M's Life Rules #20: Don't Randomly Bail on a Texting Chat

2011-04-29T07:30:00.001-05:00

Posted by Double M

If you're texting back and forth with someone, suddenly no longer replying is like hanging up on them during a phone call.

I've told you before that I'd rather you text me than leave voicemails. Texting is definitely the best way to get in touch with me.

That said, if you are awful at responding at text messages I'd rather you not text me at all. It sucks when someone sends you a text that says "What are you doing? Want to hang out?" and then sets down their phone or puts it in their purse and doesn't respond for an hour. If I like you, chances are I just put my life on hold to hear what you're doing - especially if you said something like "Want to grab some dinner?" - and now you aren't going to get back to me in a reasonable time? Busch. League.

Even worse, someone that texts back and forth a few times and then just stops responding. Where the hell did you go? Did you just forget about our convo? I don't understand how you can go from getting back to me withing 30 seconds to not responding at all. Did you get hit by a tow truck? Did you drop your phone in a puddle? What happened?

Here's the deal: If you're in a texting battle, respond within 5 minutes or send a closed text (one that doesn't require response). People in general should be able to pick up on the signal that you are done texting.

There are exceptions, but in general, don't send an open ended text without being able to respond within a few minutes of getting the text reply from the other person.

Double M's Life Rules #19: Someone is Going to be Better at Whatever You're Doing than You Are

2011-04-25T07:30:00.002-05:00

Posted by Double M

You are probably not the best at whatever you think you are the best at doing. Even if you are, you won't be forever.

In the 1990's Michael Jordan was the best basketball player. That means there are billions of people that were never as good as him, even though there are tons of people that were really, really good.

10 years post-retiremnt? Michael Jordan is not the best basketball player in the world. Prior to the 1990's MJ was really good but wasn't the best player in the NBA.

The point: Even if you are one of the best at what you do, there is probably someone that is better at that specific thing. Further, even if you are the best, chances are you won't be the best forever. At some point either your skills will falter or someone will come along with better skills (or both) and you will no longer be the best.

This means that you'll need to learn how to live life as "not the best". For an ultra-competitive person, this can be really hard and I've seen it cause drama.

For an non-sports example, look no further than honors programs in college. A good honors program only takes kids that are considered the best in high school. Suddenly, all of the "bests" are thrown together and only one of them can actually be the best. Some people, when they move from being the best to being the 3rd best or 10th best or almost last, freak out and end up washing out purely because they can't handle the fact that they aren't the best/smartest/biggest teacher's pet/etc.

All of this can be avoided if you simply understand that there is someone better than you out there and learn to live within that fact.

Disclaimer: This doesn't man you should just give up or that you should quit trying to improve yourself.

Double M's Life Rules #18: Your Girlfriend's Mom Should Like You

2011-04-20T07:30:00.002-05:00

Posted by Double M

If your girlfriend's mom doesn't like you, the entirety of your relationship with this girl is not going to go well.

In most cases, Moms hold crazy weight over their kids, even when the kids are grown. You may not think this matters, but when it comes to girlfriends it matters a ton.

If your girlfriend's mom doesn't like you, she will do everything she can to make it hard for your relationship to make it. In high school, the curfew gets strict, family-only dinners become more frequent, and money to go to the movies or shopping suddenly dries up. Basically, nothing will be easy.

This stranglehold might loosen as the daughter gets older, but it can still bite you. When you get in a fight and your girlfriend calls her mom, guess what happens if her mom doesn't like you? You get a deuce dropped on you whether you were right or not.

I'm not saying you just need to run if the girl's mom doesn't like you, just that you need to put in some effort to make sure she does. Say the right things to her, be polite in her house, and don't give her any ammo - especially in the first few months - to not like you.

If after all that effort your girl's mom still doesn't like you, then know that you'll be fighting two (or more, depending on her sisters or friends) women everytime you get in a fight or have a disagreement over a simple decision. Then, unfortunately, you have to decide for youself whether it is worth it.

Double M's Life Rules #17: Never Pass Up a Free Opportunity to Pee

2011-04-18T07:30:00.002-05:00

Posted by Double M

If someone is going to pee and you haven't taken the opportunity to relieve yourself in the near past, do it now.

When you're road tripping, it sucks to travel with the type of person that has to stop and pee every hour. Unfortunately, there isn't much that person can do - they have a small bladder and need to hit the bathroom.

What sucks worse than that person? The person that says "No, I don't need to pee" but suddenly needs to pee 15 minutes later. That person consciously evaluated their body, decided they were cool, and then probably experienced some form of immediate regret as the car pulled back onto the highway. This person sucks.

Of course, this scenario applies outside of cars as well. For instance, in Vegas if someone stops to pee, everyone should stop and pee. Invariably, that one guy that decides not to pee ends up slowing the whole group down 10 minutes later just as they are rolling again.

The good news is there is a simple way to avoid this: don't pass up a free opportunity to hit the bathroom. If someone is going and you haven't gone recently, walk in the bathroom and try to squeeze out a few drops - you'll be surprised at how much you actually pee and you'll prevent yourself from being the db that passed up on the free opportunity.

Double M's Life Rules #16: Don't Yell at People for Mistakes

2011-04-15T07:30:00.003-05:00

Posted by Double M

People in your life (including you) are going to mess up. How they react to those mistakes will make a huge impact on your life.

I learned in my life that there are certain things I can control - screw ups by other people isn't one of them.

People are going to mess up. They are going to forget to show up for a shift, or forget to email a customer, or say something stupid, or make a decision you don't agree with at all. And once they mess up, they'll come to you and apologize and. This is where you set the standard: Don't get sorry, get better.

If the person is apologizing to you, they already know they messed up. They don't need to hear things like "What were you thinking?" and "I can't believe you did that?" or "You're lucky I don't fire/break up with/ground you..." because they have already thought through most of the repercussions already. And if you try to use this stuff, it doesn't end up working anyway. Trust me, I have been yelled at like this for most of my life in one fashion or another. Eventually this stuff just gets tuned out.

Who are you helping by yelling at the person? Is it making them better? Probably not Is it making you feel better? Probably not Then why do it?

Instead of focusing on the bad (don't get sorry), focus on what we can do to prevent the problem from happening again and how to improve in the future (get better). Whether it is real life or work or your relationships or anything, if you spend your time trying to get better rather than dwelling on the negatives, you'll put yourself in a much better place and be a happier person.

Double M's Life Rules #15: Don't Share Email Addresses

2011-04-13T07:00:00.000-05:00

Posted by Double M

Email Accounts are free. You should never share a single address with your wife or parents.

Have you ever finished the day and realized that there was a stain on the left butt cheek of your pants? Then you sit there feeling embarrassed wondering how many people noticed it, laughed, but said nothing to you.

This is how people who share emails will feel someday when someone tells them that it is foolish to share email addresses. Every time they give out their email (which is always like bobandsusanjankowski@aol.com or jimandnancysmith@compuserve.net or, even worse, westenhousterfamily@juno.biz) people snicker and think to themselves about how foolish this person is that they share an email address with other people.

Haven't they heard of Gmail? Yahoo? Hotmail? There are plenty of options for someone to have their own email address. Hell, even you, @braylonson, are rocking your own email address (and twitter account), and you're 2 at the time I write this.

There are plenty of reasons why you should rock your own email address (privacy, your email account is your login to a lot of websites, things like bank statements get sent to you, etc.), but if you aren't rocking your own person email address you just come across as socially inept and stupid. If you don't have your own email address and you are reading this, please, please, please just go get a free address right now.

Double M's Life Rules #14: Acknowledgement Texts are not Necessary

2011-04-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

Posted by Double M

A text response of "k" or "ok" "yep" to a non-question is unecessary and a waste of our time.

We all know how texts work: I send you a text, it pops up on your cell phone, you see it.

Some texts have questions and require an answer ("Do you want me to come over?"). Others are simply a statement and require no response ("I'm grabbing a beer with Jimmy and Bunk."). In the latter case, I know you've seen my text (at least that is assumed), so telling me OK isn't necessary unless you feel like you need to give me permission. Sending me "k" is a waste of both of our time, even if it is only 10 seconds each (but at least it isn't a voicemail).

It isn't had to figure out: only send a text message if you have some actual value to add, acknowledgement texts aren't necessary

Double M's Life Rules #13: Don't Leave Voicemails

2011-04-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

Posted by Double M

A quick text message is infinitely better than a voicemail.

Occasionally I'll walk away from my desk without carrying my phone. Invariably, I will return to a missed call. Of course, if the number is in my phone book, I'll just call it back. There is nothing worse than when that person leaves me a voicemail because now I have to debate whether I actually check it or just call them (hint: I always, always use the latter).

An even worse scenario is when I'm sitting in a meeting and purposefully don't answer. Now I've seen the call come in, decided not to answer, and know that I need to call the person back. Then, about 30 seconds later, my phone rings because a voicemail just came in.

Sadly, here is the content of most of my voicemails "Hey, what's up, Matt? Give me a call when you get this." Disgraceful. Why?

1) Everyone's phone will tell them that they have a missed call.
2) Look back at that message: No name, no phone number. Basically this is an acknowledgement that you know that I know you called but you've decided to leave me an inconvenient notifier on my phone anyway.

If you want to get through to me and I don't answer, there is a very easy way: text. If I don't answer it is usually for a good reason, and I'm much more likely to respond to a text message than check my voicemail (especially if I chose to not answer in the first place).

Of course, as voicemails pile up, the chance of me checking them and answering them diminishes greatly. After Vegas I had 22 voicemails. I listened to them, but if I had talked to that person post voicemail, I pressed the delete button before the end of the voicemail.

There are basically two reasons that are acceptable to leave voicemails:
1) The person doesn't have your number and you think they might have screened your call
2) You need to deliver a very important message and will be unavailable in the near future
3) You are calling a land-line with a bona fide answering machine.

So next time I don't answer, just shoot me a text (or sext).

Double M's Life Rules #12: On Wearing Sweatpants

2011-03-23T08:00:00.003-05:00

Posted by Double M

I love being comfortable as much as the next guy, but there are some rules you need to know for wearing sweatpants.

We'll keep this simple today:

As a man over the age of 13, you should not wear sweatpants unless you are coming to or going from a sporting event in which you are participating.

Inside or around the house sweatpants are perfectly acceptable at any age.

There is a difference between track pants and sweatpants.

Girls are permitted to wear sweatpants at any time (within reason).

Skijoring!

2011-01-31T07:00:00.003-06:00

Posted by Ross

I'm interrupting DoubleM's life rules with one of my own.

If you live in a state with cold winters, get outside or move.

I posted about skijoring 2 years ago when my friend John introduced me to it. It's like dogsledding with skis. I figured it was worth sharing because it's a great winter activity if you have dogs. In my opinion enjoying the winter is all about being able to get outside. Why would you live in Minnesota if you can't enjoy the cold? Here's John with my dog, Mario, and his dog, Tigger. They are getting ready to race.

They were racing in the City of Lakes Loppet. It's a weekend event with a bunch of skiing races over by Lake Calhoun. Here they are after the finish line.

I also wanted to get this out there because it was really difficult for me to find information on where to skijor in Saint Paul. If you happen upon this post and have other places, please leave a note in the comments. I've been going to Highland Park. Many of the golf courses in MN are used for cross country, most don't allow dogs. Here's a map of the course. Park on Edgecumbe and ski clockwise.

View 2011-01-30 15:30 in a larger map

Lastly, here's a video of us starting out.

If you're in the cities you should definitely check out the festivities on lake Calhoun Feb. 5th and 6th.

Update: Beermann shared this awesome related link in the comments.

Double M's Life Rules #11: Spend Money on a Bed

2011-01-24T08:00:00.002-06:00

Posted by Double M

A comfortable bed may not be flashy like a car or clothes, but it is one of the best things money can buy.

I sleep somewhere between 5-7 hours on an average night - and those 5-7 hours are awesome. A lot of times it is less than that. So, when I do sleep, it is really important that it counts and that I wake up rested in the morning.

One of the best ways to do this is to buy a sweet bed. I bought a king size with a giant pillow top (which basically means it is ultra-comfy), and, even though I sleep in pretty much the exact same spot every night, it hasn't made an indention at all. Ending my night in my bed is an awesome way to end the day.

I'm not saying I have the best bed ever - just that I can't wait to get back to my bed after a long road trip/vacation because it is better than almost any other bed I've ever been in.

When you sleep, the worst thing that can happen is that you wake up sore in the morning (or even worse, in the middle of the night) and feeling generally unrested. While there can be other factors, your bed plays a significant factor in that. Looking back over a lot of the things I have purchased, my bed is easily one of the best purchases I have ever made because I never have these feelings.

Make no mistake, a nice bed can be spendy, but it is one of the better investments you can make and I guarantee you this rule doesn't end with me. Just ask anyone that has purchased a nice bed and you'll get the same sentiment.

Pro tip: Buy a king-size bed as long as your room can fit it. It is one decision you will never, ever regret.

Double M's Life Rules #10: Don't Include Your Parents in Your Wedding Party

2011-01-05T08:00:00.001-06:00

Posted by Double M

You might have some awesome parents (like me - I'm awesome), but your wedding party should be your closest friends and not your mom or dad.

Planning a wedding can be a crazy whirlwind full of tons of decisions. Even if you are marrying someone that is planning the whole thing, there is at least one decision every person getting married has to decide: who will stand next to you as the groomsmen and bridesmaids.

This process can be stressful and I've seen all kinds of decisions made here (trust me I was invited to 18 weddings one summer!) - gigantic wedding parties, no wedding parties, good friends left out, and old, now irrelevant promises honored. I have no clue what the guidelines for picking out the wedding party is, but it seems like everyone follows their own made up rules. It doesn't really matter though - pretty much everything is on the table and no one should be mad about who you choose.

But there is one thing that always comes across really, really weird - people that have their parents in the wedding party. If you include your one of your parents in your wedding party, here are things that are will probably happen:

The rest of the wedding party will be thrown off and not able to completely celebrate because of the "parent" stigma (no matter how cool that parent is)

All of your wedding pictures will be a little weird because your parent will stick out

You will end up fighting with the parent in the wedding party on your wedding day about something stupid

Your dad will walk down the aisle with a younger girl (looking awkward and kinda like a creeper) or your mom will walk down the aisle with a younger guy that is either not excited about the fact that he has a non-his-age bridesmaid or very excited about the potential of putting a MILF on his scorecard.

People will think you are a weird kid that can't let go of your parents

Yes, your parents (probably) helped shape your life and they may even be good friends with you, but including them in the wedding party guarantees that at least one of the things I listed above will happen.

For your parents, your wedding should be a time that they celebrate you growing up together. They can't do this if one of them is standing up at the alter with you. So let them celebrate and avoid all of these pitfalls and just don't include them in your wedding party (B - if you ask me, I'd say no anyway, so you're good there).

Double M's Life Rules #9: Live with Your Potential Spouse Before You Get Engaged

2011-01-03T08:00:00.005-06:00

Posted by Double M

You don't truly get to know someone until you live with them for an extended period of time.

I know of at least five couples that got married after Shorty and I that are now divorced. This is crazy to me. Lord knows crazy things can happen, feelings can change, people can grow apart, and small battles can add up over time, but when you read statistics, it seems that a lot of people get divorced simply because they don't truly know the person they are marrying.

There is a really simply fix to this: live with the person you are planning to marry before you get engaged.

Living with someone lets you learn a lot of things about a person:

How that person looks in the morning

Sleep patterns someone follows

Is that person a cleaner? How obsessively?

Is that person lazy or do they pull their weight with housework

How that person handles money (specifically bills)

What gross or annoying habits does that person have

What are this person's bathroom and kitchen habits

Look at that list (and I'm definitely missing a few things). Yes, you might be able to learn some of those things, but you won't really know the answer to most of them without living with them for six to twelve months. Ask yourself those questions about your best friends - you likely don't really know the answer to them either and they are your best friends!

Living with your potential fiancée allows you to peel away all of their layers. When you are dating someone they naturally want to impress you - they'll put on makeup and do something with their hair if you're coming over in the morning, they'll pick up the house and wipe down the bathroom if they are cooking you dinner, and they'll naturally hide their gross habits perhaps even unintentionally. This person can't do that if you live with them because they can't hide their personality - you will see them in the rawest form.

And here's the kicker: don't expect to change them. Be honest to yourself about the things you learn - if they bother you then ask yourself if they are a deal breaker. If so, then use it as your opportunity to end the relationship. It may sound harsh, but consider yourself fortunate you didn't have to go through all of the misery of a divorce (trust me, getting married and divorced is much less desirable than breaking up and moving out). You aren't going to change someone - they are who they are - and you either need to be cool with that or get out.

Once you know these things then you should be in a much better place to decide whether you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and their habits, quirks, craziness, and demeanor.

Disclaimer: No, this won't solve every divorce, but I know in a few cases it would have prevented the marriage from ever happening.

Double M's Life Rules: The Hiatus

2010-12-20T08:00:00.003-06:00

Posted by Double M

It is Christmas week and I'm going to be busy doing all kinds of random things. Then, I'm traveling on and off for a few weeks, so I'm going to take a hiatus from posting for the next two weeks.

I know this is heart breaking, but let's be honest - you have a lot going on right now and might miss a few posts even if I was posting anyway.

The good news: I'm not going to stop posting. I still have too much advice to share to @braylonson. In fact, the two weeks of downtime will give me time to queue up a bunch of life rules posts so we don't have a bunch of typos like we did in the last post (which was written from my iPad by the way).

Double M's life rule posts will resume with life rule #9 on January 3rd Get excited.

Get excited and have a merry Christmas and an awesome New Year's celebration.

Double M's Life Rules #8: Never Cause a Bottleneck on the Interstate

2010-12-17T08:00:00.004-06:00

Posted by Double M

If you drive in the fast lane on the interstate, you must drive at least five (5) miles per hour over the speed limit or the speed of the car behind you, whichever is faster.

I once wrote a post about interstate driving, but there are a few rules within that post that are important enough to merit their own post.

Here's the gist of it, if you are driving in the fast lane on the interstate, you must speed. The fast lane is actually built for passing slower cars, even if the "slow" cars are going the speed limit or slightly over. The fast lane is a very important part of maintaining traffic flow as it allows the more efficient drivers to leave the slower, plodding drivers moving at the pace they feel comfortable.

In situations where people don't speed in the fast lane (like construction zones where there is only one lane or times where people are just being derkas), you'll notice that the slow driver is almost always the bottleneck. If there is a bottleneck in the fast lane, all hell can break loose. Faster moving cars and semis get impatient and start swerving back and forth between lanes looking for an advantage or riding the ass of the car in front of them, both of which can lead to accidents which can cause real bottlenecks.

So, for starters, if you are going to get into the fast lane, you need to be willing to drive at least five mph over the posted speed limit. Even if no one is around you. As long as you follow this rule you will not mess up traffic flow, in general.

I'll allow you an exception if you are only driving a couple miles over the speed limit and if you are the only person in the fast lane and you are passing someone a slower driver in the right lane. This brings me to my second point: if you are in the fast lane, you need to drive as fast as the car behind you. You should never cause the bottleneck and this means that if there is someone else in the fast lane, you need to either go as fast as they are going or get out of their way, pronto.

There is nothing more annoying than driving seven over in the fast lane and then suddenly having to slow down to the speed limit because some jackass decided they wanted to pass an ultra-slow car but didn't pay attention to other traffic on the road. I know it sucks to be in the slow lane behind someone going five under, but if you aren't willing to go over the speed limit then you are going to make it equally suck for the person that is having to slow down for you.

If you are going to get into the fast lane, look into the fast lane (not just in your immediate vicinity) and see if someone in the fast lane is going to catch up to you while you're passing. If that is the case, wait or speed up so they don't have to slow down.

Double M's Life Rules #7: Don't Get Duped by Black Pants

2010-12-15T08:00:00.001-06:00

Posted by Double M

Black pants can make even a mediocre butt look amazing, but remember what it looked like in other pants.

This is my first life rule that I discovered completely on my own and I remember the moment so vividly that it is burned into my memory. In high school, I was sitting in math class and, in standard high school fashion, I was paying attention to the girls in my class instead of whatever else was happening.

One girl looked particularly amazing that day and I didn't understand how I could have missed it in the past. I started checking through things that would be different from normal: Hair? No. Sweater? No. Shoes: No. Pants? Bingo.

I'm not sure why it clicked in math class, but suddenly examples were everywhere. One day average and the next day amazing with the only difference being black pants.

Here's the thing - never fault anyone for making themselves look better. In fact, if someone is smart enough to wear clothing that makes them look awesome, you should probably applaud them. If you are supposed to dress to impress then they are accomplishing their job.

Just remember: while black pants can make a butt look awesome, more often than not that butt will not be in black pants, and that other time matters too. Don't let them skew your judgement.

Double M's Life Rules #6: Privatize Your Digital Life

2010-12-13T08:00:00.003-06:00

Posted by Double M

You can have dumb things on the internet, just make sure you control who sees them

I meet people in passing all the time and it always baffles me when they add me on Facebook. I'm not your friend, but you clearly want to be forever linked because we stood next to each other for 20 minutes at a bar. It is enjoyable for me though, because the very first thing I do after seeing your friend request is check out your profile and all of your pics. Why? Because I love looking at train wrecks.

In the last few months here are a few things I have seen:

People puking on themselves in a photo album
Obscene numbers of drunk photos
Really, really dumb/racist things said in in updates
Being a fan of or in dumb groups like "F*** this stupid derka from a bad vampire movie!!!"
Anything ultra embarrassing like poor music or TV choices (Nickelback, Lifetime, etc.)

Disgraceful. If I write for a blog called "Immediate Regret," just think what potential employers or the friends of the girl you just started dating must think when they see that. You can avoid me seeing these things by following one simple rule: don't let the public see them. Look, we all may have done some dumb things in college (or are still doing them), and there are probably pictures of it somewhere. I'm not telling you not to have a good time, I'm just making sure that good time doesn't come back to bite you.

It is pretty simple to privatize your life. Just follow these steps:

Set everything on your account only available to friends. Not friends of friends or my network(s), just friends. If you are set to public, go do this right now and then come back.
Create a group of friends that you actually trust (you don't really trust all 600 of your Facebook friends, do you?) and then adjust your privacy settings so they are the only ones that can see your photos or other personal stuff. Love to say dumb things in your status? Protect that too.
Cut a whole shit ton of people from your friends list (see rule #3)
If you use Twitter, protect your Twitter account and remove any followers you don't know.

If you trust who sees your stuff, then you'll probably be ok. Just make sure that you really trust them.

Double M's Life Rules #5: Rules for Tobacco

2010-12-10T08:00:00.004-06:00

Posted by Double M

Cigarettes and chewing are gross but cigars can be awesome in the correct setting.

Here's something you should know pretty well by now: smoking and chewing will eventually lead to cancer. You shouldn't do it because you don't want to die.

One time in your life you'll end up kissing a girl whose mouth literally tastes like ass. You'll wonder what the hell died in her mouth until you see the pack of Virginia slims in her purse and realize that she's just growing death inside of her mouth/body each time she smokes. At this point, unless you want puke in your mouth every time you kiss this girl, you should get the F out.

I'm not going to even discuss chewing. Smoking cigarettes is very white trash and chewing might be worse. If the thought of putting glass and death in your mouth isn't enough to convince you not to chew, just check out these images.

So what is the difference between cigarettes and cigars? Both of them can cause cancer. Both of them leave your clothes smelling like ass the next day. Both of them will have you wake up feeling like you swished shit if you don't brush your teeth before you go to bed (side note: always brush your teeth and use mouthwash after having a cigar).

I think the difference is in the use and perception. Cigarettes provide you a quick, cheap, and dirty way to get your tobacco (and other chemical) fix. Cigars are all about celebration and class. Go watch hip-hop music videos - when rappers want to show off, they have cigars not cigarettes.

Here's the real deal: look at people smoking. How many of them look happy that they are smoking? Not many. Now look at people smoking cigars - you'll be hard pressed to find people that aren't happy to be smoking. Celebration versus need.

So when are cigars acceptable? I don't have any hard and fast rules, but if you limit them to celebrations then you'll be ok.