“Ron & Tonya offer excellent relationship advice for married couples who need to put the spark back into their marriage! With the Level 3 mindset and identifying the 6 special needs each person has, you will be on your way to a renewed relationship with your spouse!”
Deedra Determan, Co-Founder
918.moms

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Secrets for Creating Long Lasting Love and Passion Audios

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Relevant Resources:
Cloe Madanes Relationship Breakthrough: How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life

Cloe Madanes and Tony Robbins Back From the Edge: Creating Everlasting Love, Anthony Robbins, Cloe Madanes, DVD

Robbins-Madanes Coach Training Learn World-Class Intervention and Communication Strategies from the Masters – Cloe Madanes and Tony Robbins.

Disclosure: The links above are affiliate links.

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Immediate Influence is a post from: Immediate Influence

“The wisdom Ron and his wife share is so refreshing in the fast and furious lifestyle we all lead. They remind us to love, laugh and live, and that marriage is a wonderful journey when you do it together.”
-Cindy W. Morrison, Emmy Winning TV Journalist, Speaker, Author, Consultant
www.cindywmorrison.com

Relevant Resources:
Cloe Madanes Relationship Breakthrough: How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life

Cloe Madanes and Tony Robbins Back From the Edge: Creating Everlasting Love, Anthony Robbins, Cloe Madanes, DVD

Robbins-Madanes Coach Training Learn World-Class Intervention and Communication Strategies from the Masters – Cloe Madanes and Tony Robbins.

Disclosure: The links in this area are affiliate links.

Immediate Influence is a post from: Immediate Influence

A short time ago while visiting my Mom in the home in which I spent most of my teenage years, I remembered a defining moment in my life. It happened in 1980 on a sweltering hot day in early May. I was sitting in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons and the phone rang. Mom answered. It was my Dad! That was a surprise… considering he hadn’t contacted us in quite some time. After Mom hung up with him, I wondered why he hadn’t asked to speak to me and asked about their conversation. The response led to me feeling intense anger.

You see, my Dad inquired about me, of course, and Mom told him the bad news. She told him,“He’s been smoking marijuana, skipping school and will probably drop out.” I wasn’t angered by her divulging my drug use and delinquent behavior. I was irate after hearing my Dad’s comment about me. He told my Mom, “I’m not surprised.”

In that moment, I made a committed decision to take actions that would disappoint my Dad’s lack of belief in me. It’s fascinating how that decision seemed to open up a world of possibilities! More importantly people, including my teachers, took notice of my determination and focus and stepped up to help me achieve my academic goals. They became what I call, “Irresistible Influencers” in my life because they aligned with my belief about doing better in school and life. Within a few months, I went from being a possible high school drop out to a honor roll student.

As you might imagine, Irresistible Influencers have many traits, but the one that impacts individuals and masses of people is their ability to recognize our most important goals in life and support us in our pursuit of them. In the next few posts, my wife and I will reveal more traits, and the communication skills, of people who are Irresistible Influencers in their marital relationships. However, you will be able to use the skills to create extraordinary relationships in every area of your life. Until then, if you have any comments or questions about this post, leave them below.

Love fully and live purposefully,

Ron

Immediate Influence is a post from: Immediate Influence

Many years ago, I went to visit Tim, one of my closest friends and his fiery, red headed, girlfriend, Nancy, in their high rise apartment. Right away I noticed an unusual tension in the air. As it turned out, Tim and Nancy had been arguing. Nancy’s face was flush and she was sniffling. On the other hand, Tim was clearly very irritated.

Initially, I thought about leaving them to continue their heated discussion. However, Nancy promptly grabbed her purse and coat and left. I quickly asked Tim,”What’s the matter?” In an angry tone of voice he responded, “Nancy left a *x#@ cup of juice on my keyboard again!” While Tim was talking he walked over to his keyboard and pointed at a circle of water remaining from the cup. He went on to say, “I’ve told her over and over again to not put drinks on my keyboard but she does it anyway. I’m tired of this crap!”

I walked over and looked at the keyboard, I looked at Tim, and I said these words: “Which one do you value more? The priceless woman who loves, respects, and encourages you or the keyboard you hardly play and can replace?” Silence fell over the room. I wasn’t exactly sure what Tim’s response would be to my rather direct question. But I felt comfortable posing the question to my friend of nearly 5 years at that time. Finally, the quiet was interrupted by Tim saying, “I value Nancy more.”

I went on to remind him of how much they loved each other. Naturally, he picked up the phone, called Nancy at her parents’ and apologized. My job was done.

You might be asking,”What in the world does this have to do with thinking like an ethical persuasion expert?”

It’s simple!

An ethical persuasion expert thinks objectively about the best interest of the parties involved. They also evaluate situations based on the values of the participants. In the case of Nancy and Tim, I knew they deeply loved each other and rarely did anything (to my knowledge) to intentionally hurt one another.

Yes, it was a mistake for Nancy to leave the cup of juice on Tim’s keyboard. In fact, it was careless! It caused Tim to feel disrespected and devalued. Anytime someone feels that type of emotional hurt, they will find a way to heal the pain. Unfortunately, sometimes that means ending a relationship. Other times, a time out suffices.

That aside… Tim’s and Nancy’s shared values of love, respect, and encouragement were the threads that knitted their hearts together. Once I had tapped into his own value system I was able to influence Tim in a direction that served his best interests. Ethical persuasion experts use the information they’ve learned about someone to help them reach their own desired outcomes.

What are your values? What do you value most?

Love fully and live purposefully,

Ron

Immediate Influence is a post from: Immediate Influence

Happy New Year!

Here we are beginning a new year and a new decade. As a result, you – like so many other people – probably decided on resolutions to reach higher heights in some area of life that matters. For instance, you might have chosen to improve your health, increase your wealth, better your relationships, or sharpen your skills.  No matter what area you picked, I wonder if you are still going for it.  The reason I wonder is research shows that 95% of the population that resolved to effect positive change in their lives this year quit pursuing the change by January 15th.

Why People Quit

Why do people quit?  The simplistic explanation is pain.  As human beings we are hard-wired to do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure.  What’s fascinating is the pain is rarely based in reality.  How do I know?

Reason #1 Two decades ago I began learning how to create rapid change in others and myself by using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Neuro Associative Conditioning (NAC).

Reason #2 I have been guilty of relinquishing the pursuit of certain goals in the past because of imagined pain.  For example, at the start of a new year I would tell myself, “I’m going to trim the fat, build muscle, boost my energy, and lose 10lbs.” In the first few weeks of the year, I would workout five days a week without fail.  Then five days gradually turned into three days.  Three into one.  And finally one day transitioned into zero.

When someone asked, “How’s your workout coming?” I would say, “I haven’t had time to workout lately.  I’m too busy working with clients and other projects.” Seconds later I would say to myself, “The truth is you stopped making time to workout!”

What happened?  What prevented me from continuing my enthusiastic quest for a greater level of health and fitness?  You know the answer to that question, right?  Pain.  How did pain stop me?  No, I didn’t injure myself.

In hindsight, based on advanced Neuro Linguistic Programming and Neuro Associative Conditioning training, I discovered that I was running a limiting behavioral pattern– a limiting pattern that is common amongst people who are gradually overtaken by inaction to achieve their goals. Before I reveal the specifics of the limiting pattern, you should know that all patterns include three components.  And, taking control of these three components will absolutely change your life forever!  These three components are what influence all human emotions that lead to behaviors that are beneficial or detrimental:

1) Mental Focus – what you notice, perceive, and believe about a person, event, or activity

2) Language - what you’re saying to yourself  and what you say aloud

3) Physiology - the condition of your body.  i.e., breathing, posture, facial expression, muscular tension or relaxation, etc.

Now that you’ve learned the primary drivers of limiting patterns, I’ll reveal the structure of it and how to eliminate it… now.  Ready?  Let’s do this!

Simply put, the limiting pattern consisted primarily of making the process of working out too big in my mind.  For instance, when I’d think about working out, I’d begin thinking about fighting traffic for 20 to 30 minutes to get home, finding a parking space in my Northern Virginia Townhome complex, getting out of the car, going into my home, taking off my tie, shirt, jacket, and pants.  Then locating my tennis shoes, socks, shorts, and t-shirt to workout- that had to be color coordinated!  After suiting up in my workout gear, figuring out where to put my keys, leaving my home to walk to the fitness room, stretching, finding an open machine, beginning my work out, while completely aware that I would still have to walk back home, take off my sweaty workout gear, take a shower, and find clothes to wear for the evening.

Now you understand what I mean by “making the process too big in my mind,” don’t you?  Think of it this way.  After considering all that needed to happen for me to workout, I felt like I was going to try to eat a whole elephant in one bite.  Impossible!

Another way I would language the experience is, I felt overwhelmed, and because I allowed myself to feel that way I became demotivated. Once I felt demotivated, I thought to myself, “I’m going to just relax tonight.” Have you ever run that pattern?  Is it time to stop now? 

Watch the following video to find out the impact of stopping a limiting pattern had on my friend and client, Alejandro Reyes’ life.

How to Eliminate Your Limiting Pattern

After almost two decades of utilizing the cutting-edge, behavioral sciences of Neuro Linguistic Programming and Neuro Associative Conditioning I’ve become aware of many ways to help anyone achieve exactly what they want in every area of their life. Big claim, right? Yes, it is! But, I suggest you suspend your skepticism until after you’ve seen your own results from what I’ve used to remain on track.

If you’re willing to do that for a brief period, I promise you’ll be happy you did. By the way, I’m stronger, healthier, and more fit at 45 than I was at 25 because of using a process similar to what you’re about to learn and use now. Ready to learn, then do? Let’s get started!

The Video Pattern

1) Imagine constructing a YouTube video of you about to do your limiting pattern.  (e.g., going into overwhelm, then procrastinating)
2) Begin to see an image of your ideal self (a “do-it-now” type of person), minimize the image so that it appears in the bottom right corner
of your YouTube video.
3) Now imagine using your cursor to click on the image of your ideal self, see your ideal self video getting bigger and brighter. Watch it
melt away and destroy the video of you running the limiting pattern, taking its place
4) Repeat the process rapidly over and over and over again until the image is a new video in your mind.
5) Do this process at least 20 times to condition yourself with the new pattern.  Yes, 20 times because…

“Successful people do what the failures won’t.” -Tony Robbins

That’s it!  I’m curious.  Can you put aside your skepticism about quickly changing your limiting pattern, so that you become a part of the 5% club?  Remember 95% of the people who started this year have now already quit?  Which group suits you?

Guarantee Your Success

If you’re committed to joining (or staying in) the 5% club, leave a comment below that A) includes one of your resolutions/goals for 2010.  B) Be specific.  C) Write why you’re absolutely committed to making it happen.  D) Include how you’ll measure your progress.  E) Decide on a completion date.  I know that’s asking a lot – but this is your chance to achieve what you want in 2010!  If you don’t leave your comment below with the requested information, do yourself a favor and at very minimum share it with someone you’d absolutely hate to disappoint.

Whether you want to transform your body into one suitable for magazine covers, double your income,  or reignite passion in your relationship, you must take consistent actions that you haven’t taken in past years.  However, eliminating the old patterns is imperative to your success, okay?  Use the Video Pattern to eradicate the old pattern and install the new pattern if you want to guarantee your success!  I look forward to reading your comments!

Wishing you incredible success,

Ron

P.S. After using “The Video Pattern,” people still want some one-on-one coaching, so I offer complimentary coaching/consulting sessions to determine what it will take to stop their pattern quickly. If you realize that you want one-on-one time with me, just click here to schedule a time for us to chat.

Immediate Influence is a post from: Immediate Influence