Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet Muhammad, SAW, said:  “When you travel through green and lush land, give the camels their due from the ground, and when you travel through a dry and barren land, make them walk quickly lest their strength falters. When you encamp at night, keep away from the roads, for beasts pass there and they are the resort of insects at night.” [Muslim]

“Look, mama, I can drink all by myself.  And I didn’t spill any,”  My 3 year old recently celebrated.  She has finally learned to sip from a glass cup.  No more bottles, no more sippy cups that are supposed to be spill-proof (supposed to be), no more plastic straw cups that look like they’re harboring some unmentionables in their tiny openings.  Glass, sparkling clean glass.  Yup, she’s reached the peak of the mountain on “learning how to drink.”  But in the life of a toddler, there are many mountains to climb, many milestones to achieve.  So, while her “yay, I’m drinking in a glass cup,” may have seemed like a huge accomplishment for her (and a joy for me because I hated washing those nasty plastic things), it may, in fact, be just a first step of many that lie ahead.  She’s got mountains and then some to climb.

We all do.  But we live in a time where “reaching the top” is defined in terms of stringent measurements like running a million dollar business, or marrying a doctor, or driving a BMW.  We’re encouraged to set lofty goals and lofty goals we set.  But what price do we pay?  What price do we pay in terms of our self-doubts; in our fears and desperation, in our feelings of inadequacy?  In our feelings of discontent with our lives or in our unhappiness?

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t set lofty goals, we should.  What I’m saying (or rather, wondering) is:   how much are we savoring the pursuit of those goals?  How much are we savoring the moments in the middle?  And even if you’re at the top of your mountain in one area of your life, you’ll always want to be in the middle of another one.  Otherwise, you’ll either be just standing there at the top (and stagnancy isn’t a good thing) or it’ll be downhill from there.  Not much fun. 

What’s wonderful about a child learning to drink from an adult cup is the innocent joy she felt in the feat.  She gave herself the benefit of true perspective.  She didn’t beat herself up for not being able to eat with chopsticks yet.  She didn’t feel jealous of  the 3 year old prodigy who can play a perfect harmony using just a small reed and an assortment of glass cups.  She felt like she’d made a step on her path, and for her that meant pure, innocent joy.  She understands that it is a process (really she does, as most children do) and since I’m all for “everything I needed to know I learned in kindergarten”, I hope that you can too.

If you’re in the middle of memorizing Qur’an, or if you’re in the middle of achieving your Bachelors Degree, or if you’re in the middle of a diet, or if you’re in the middle of writing a book – whatever lofty goal you’ve set for yourself (using your own standards), embrace the middle of the road. 

Sometimes this position might make you feel like you’re “stuck” – neither here nor there.  The motivation that gave you the surge at the beginning might be starting to wean.  Perhaps the obstacles are rearing their ugly heads.  Or the excuses are finding a sympathetic ear.  Things like this can happen in the middle. 

Yet, if you can reframe all that, look around and see what’s required of you at this stage, you can gain perspective.  Just like the camel.  

Understand that at this time in your quest, the middle is a good place to be because it’s where change happens. 

Where the middle-ers walk is where we grow.

And in more Dr. Seuss inspiration, check out the video below for “Oh, the places you’ll go!”   While teaching, I used to have older children write essays about it and younger ones preform it.  It’s still an inspirational one.  Enjoy, and I’m off to wipe some runny noses

photo by Kursat Unsal

Each one of you is a shepherd. And each of you will be asked about your flock. A ruler also is a shepherd and he will be asked about his flock. And every man is a shepherd to his family. And every woman is the custodian of her husband’s house and his children. Thus each one of you is a shepherd and each one will be asked about his flock.[Bukhari & Muslim]

Many sisters that I meet are concerned with time management.  Many articles that are requested of me have to do with time management and the secrets of productivity.  And I get it. 

But the thing is, I think everyone who struggles to manage their time and be more productive already gets it too. We don’t need an article or a personal power seminar to explain it in detail to us.  We know what we should do.  We’ve heard the tricks of time management “experts” and our mothers and our mother’s best friend.  So, why do we keep seeking out “productivity” advice?  LOL, and why do I write about it so much?

I think, and Allah SWT knows best, that we know things but we don’t act on those things.  We’re seeking secrets to bridging the “knowing – doing” gap.  We’re waiting for inspiration to actually follow through with the information we’ve gathered from said experts.

And like I say, I get it.  I struggle with time management just as much as the next sister who juggles to meet a host of responsibilities while still trying to keep her own sanity in the mix. 

In the past, you may have heard me recommend Steven Covey’s ’time quadrant’ system as the one I use (in Release Your Inner Queen of Sheba, the book, it’s the only outside recommendation I make) – and if you’ve attended the “tie the camel” workshop, I mention others’ ideas about the topic as well. 

But there’s one facet of the topic that I don’t think I’ve gotten into anytime before – and oddly enough, it’s probably the most important.

It’s the “Responsibility Factor”.  When seeking to manage your time, first things must come first.  Priorities have a hierarchy that need to be heeded.  And when those most important of priorities are taken care of – then the rest is negotiable.  You won’t feel like you “wasted your time” if you’ve swept in front of your own door first – taken care of your flock first.  You’ll feel like everything after that is a bonus.  You’ll take back your time and master your productivity.  If first things come first.

It’s about measuring what matters, recognizing what your role is and understanding your responsibilities in that role.  I like to give the example of a Walmart employee who’s hired to stock shelves.  If he’s there greeting the guests or answering their questions about where to find things – sure, he’s practicing good customer service, but is he doing what his job requires him to do?  Is he being productive?

Here are three questions you can ask yourself every day to keep yourself on track with your own roles and productivity:

1.  What are my responsibilities? What are the specific results that I have been hired (or am required) to accomplish?  (This is learning to measure what matters)

2.  What are my ”most bang for the buck” activities? What are the things that I do that add the greatest amount of value to my responsibilities?  (This is the 80/20 rule)

3.  What can I, and only I, do that, if done well, will make a real difference? If I don’t do it, it won’t get done. But if I do it, and I do it well, it will make a significant contribution to my work and my life. What is it? 

*Now do it. 

May Allah facilitate all your tasks and responsibilities and give you the best of this life and the next.  Ameen.

I have to avoid the Lush store in the shopping mall near my house.  If I go in, I know that I’ll come out much poorer – and I can’t say the same thing for other stores I shop at at all.  Unfortunately, not even Muslim run ones. 

Of course, Lush, as a company and a brand, has grown in leaps and bounds – I think you can now find a shop almost anywhere in the world.  And if there isn’t a physical shop near you, their online store is uber successful -  unbiased user ratings on the products in the hundreds help you decide what products will serve you best – and halt any hesitation you have about buying online.  And I think that sisters who go into business would do well to take a few lessons from this company. 

This isn’t an endorsement, just personal reflection - and I’m not being paid for the piece either :)  If you’re looking into starting a new Muslimah powered business – or strengthening an existing one, I hope this helps:

#1  They believe in the product. 

If you go to the company’s website, you can read their story of hand made cosmetics and soaps and how fresh, organic ingredients are the back bone of their business.  They also tell you (in a bit of an ironic twist) that such words go beyond the realm of “marketing”.  They tell you how they believe in sustainability and in “long baths…filling the world with perfume and in the right to make mistakes, lose everything and start again.”

The thing is that the employees in the store near to me also believe this.  The clerk at my recent visit was very nice and went into how ‘x’ product was “saving the rain forest”, and ‘y’ product was providing income for a village in Africa, and ‘z’ product was not tested on animals…They’re passionate about what they sell. 

They believe in it’s power to “save the world” or “make people’s dreams come true.”   What about your business venture idea?

#2  They Use it Themselves

The clerks in my local store have really great skin.  Now, I’m not sure if this is a ‘hiring scheme’ on the parts of corporate management – but when the lady is talking about how she had an awful complexion and x or y or z product worked for her and you can literally see the results - it’s pretty convincing.  And if it’s a product she hasn’t used, she’ll call her co-workers:  “ Anne, did you use this on your dry elbows?  How did it work for you?”  Whereupon, Anne will happily show and tell about her wonderfully smooth elbows.  “I couldn’t live without it!”  she raves, elbows in your face.

I was looking for a young girls’ hijab (in a particular color) in a Muslim run shop a few months ago and after sifting the shelves a few times (no, I didn’t make a mess) and not finding what I wanted, I noticed a package on the shelf above that I couldn’t reach.  I had to ask the sister there if she had something to bring it down and she practically rolled her eyes.  She did get it for me (without a word) – and when I asked if it was suitable for “xyz” size head, she just shrugged – and I felt bad opening the package to check myself.  I walked out without buying anything.  I wonder how long that packaged hijab will stay on the store shelf?

Do you feel comfortable promoting your product because you’ve used it yourself and have knowledge of how it works?

#3  They’re Outrageously Creative

Lush is so whimsical with the names they use for their products that you feel like you’re getting something unique – an experience, rather than just a product.  Among their lineup, they have ‘honey, I washed the kids” soap, “baby face” cleanser, and “waving, not drowning” bath bomb.

It distinguishes them from the multitude of similar products out there – I mean you can buy soap anywhere, but when you buy from Lush, it isn’t just soap.  In an age of abundance (there are sooo many choices out there for just about anything you want to buy or any service you’d like to employ) – creativity is what will set you apart from the competition. 

How much ingenuity are you using in the creation/marketing of your product or service?

#4  They Give You Free Samples

At the Lush store by my house, when you buy they always give you some extras that they have on hand to get you to come in for bigger pieces next time. 

 The “try before you buy” shows that they back their product and they’re confident that you’ll back it too – but even if you don’t, well, you did get something for free anyway.  And seriously, is anything free these days?  In effect, they create a type of loyalty – a passion for the product from the consumer because the consumer was treated right.  The costumer was treated with respect. 

And happy customers, even if they can’t fathom spending hundreds of dollars on “hand-made” cosmetics, will always recommend you to their friends.  Or write blog posts about how wonderfully your business model works

photo by bluecinderella

“When I start something I never finish.”

It’s got to be one of the most common negative thought process/limiting belief I hear most regularly from Muslim women.  The fact is that they do start things, they do have an “enterprising” queen mentality, they have dreams, aspirations, goals - but for whatever reason, they falter before they make it to the end result.  Of course, only Allah SWT knows what the end result is or might have been, but I wanted to offer some strategies to help them stick in there a little longer, to give them more of a fighting chance inshaAllah.

In the past, I’d tell them that maybe they didn’t finish such and such a project or accomplish such and such a goal because the purpose wasn’t strong enough (see protocol 9) and I still believe this to be true.  

However, it recently dawned on me that those who are motivated by success might have gone through a process where success wasn’t forthcoming and so they’ve faltered and believed they couldn’t do it.  And, who amongst us doesn’t want to be successful? 

So, before the belief that you can’t complete anything that you start takes over, please consider the following:

1.  Embrace Stress and Changeand know that success and happiness come to those who can be flexible at such times.  Consider the “overnight” movie star who was living out of her car for 5 years before she got her “breakout role”.  And I’m sure you have plenty of halal examples in your box of inspirational stuff.  An aunt who made dua for something when all hope was lost?  A friend who faced a catastrophe that would later turn into a miracle?

2.  Be open to new ideas:  To practice flexibility, you must regularly be open, alert to new ideas, information, and knowledge that can help you  in your business or in the achievement of your goals.  Alternatively, one idea can hurt you too.  Asking yourself if you’re losing you focus by taking on an area that isn’t something you’re excited about before you do so can save you heartache and harmful negativity in the future.  And by being open to working with others who can help you achieve your goals faster or seizing an opportunity that makes itself available you are ensuring that you won’t feel like you missed out.  Regret is a !&#@$!

3.  Define Success:  This one isn’t very hard.  It’s as simple as answering this question:  “on my deathbed, I will hope that I achieved …”

4.  Prepare to Win.  I always tell people that Allah SWT won’t ask us about how successful we were – but about the work that we put in.  What we did.  The results are in HIS, azza wa jaal’s hands.  Still, there’s a mind frame for those who are on the path to success and that is one where they are continually committed to taking the time and putting in the effort to be ready for their chance when it comes – to seize success.

A famous life coach once asked “is it not working or are you not working?” 

Being honest with ourselves about how much effort we’re putting in – how much time we’re spending on our projects – and making sure that that time and effort isn’t the wasted kind (see protocol 19 – measured to fit…for a queen) is key.  Work and Allah SWT will see your work.  And that’s the ultimate success  that will lead to success. 

“Those heights by great men
won and kept;
Were not achieved
by sudden flight;
But they, while their companions slept
were toiling upward
into the night.”

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow