I Used To Be Stupid

No Passing Zones

I Used To Be Stupid — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 16:04:12 +0000

While riding in the car as a youth, I would get extremely nervous when my mom blew right by "No Passing" signs on the highway assuming it meant the same as "Do Not Enter".

Post Image: CC:TheTruthAbout...

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Police Paranoia

I Used To Be Stupid — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 16:02:38 +0000

As a child I believed that is was illegal for children to be out of school. Therefore whenever my parents took me out even to go the doctor or something I kept an eye out for police cars. I had my story of how "my parents were with so please don't arrest me" all planned out in my mind every time.

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Bird Nest in My Tummy

I Used To Be Stupid — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 17:02:30 +0000

When I was a child my mom explained menstruation to me by saying her body was building a nest in her tummy to receive a baby. Since no baby turned up, the nest would come undone every month.

It was a fair explanation but she had no idea I would imagine a bird's nest made of twigs. I thought the branches were scratching the woman's insides as the nest was collapsing and that was what was causing bleeding.

My mom was mortified when, after a couple of months of fear and pondering I asked "But doesn't it hurt?" and she understood that I had taken the word "nest" a bit too literally.

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Paying With Checks

I Used To Be Stupid — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 23:01:34 +0000

Back when I was around eight I was at the grocery store with my mom. We were at the checkout counter and she was writing a check. I asked her what she was doing. She said "Paying with a check since I don't have any cash."

From that moment until I was a teenager I thought that if you wanted to buy something but didn't have any money, you could just hand them a piece of paper(a check) and take your stuff. I wondered why everyone didn't do that ALL the time.

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Frequent Fireworks

I Used To Be Stupid — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:16:12 +0000

Christina from San Antonio submits:

When I was younger, I would hear fireworks in the backyard but I didn't see them. My family lived in an area surrounded by gang violence. It wasn't until a year ago that I realized what I heard almost every night wasn't the sound of fireworks but gun fire. My 7 year old self would be very disappointed. I am 23.

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Winter Paranoia

I Used To Be Stupid — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 12:18:29 +0000

When I was little, I was afraid to fart outside when it was winter because I thought people could see it in a cloud.

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The Legend Of Pop-Rocks

I Used To Be Stupid — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 20:40:44 +0000

An anonymous submitter takes on an urban legend.

When I was a kid—maybe about 10—I heard the pop rocks will blow up in your stomach when mixed with soda pop. All my friends and people my age at school were talking about it. I was kind of on the edge of believing it and not believing it so I decided to experiment. I asked my Dad for money to go to the store. I bought a bottle of coke and about three packs of pop rocks and then went home to my bedroom.
Just in case it was true, I decided that I should write a note in case my family found me exploded all over the place. I wrote the note about how I had the best life and that I left all my earthly possessions to my baby sister who was two. Then I proceeded to eat the three packages of pop rocks and drink the bottle of coke.
Nothing happened.
I thought maybe I needed to jump up and down. I tried that and it didn't work. I proved to myself that it doesn't really happen. Funny thing was I was fearful that it would.

Theme Image: Mickey-who didn't die from pop-rocks.

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Throwing Rocks

Excuse Me

I Used To Be Stupid — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 12:03:37 +0000

Rakkel from Texas sends in a tale of manners.

My mom raised me well and told me that I was supposed to say "excuse me" after I burped. However she didn't tell me why or that it is only required in public situations. Thus, I remember one night my mom had some friends over and I walked through the living room and burped pretty loud. She got on to me for not apologizing. But I was confused because I had just said "excuse me" to myself in my head! I had done the right thing!

This is when I learned the words weren't for me, they were for those around me. Habits are hard to break though, and to this day I still silently excuse myself when I belch alone.

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French Kissing = Puppies

I Used To Be Stupid — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 03:27:53 +0000

Andrea from Oklahoma takes the getting pregnant by kissing idea to the next level:

When I was younger I thought you got pregnant by french kissing. I was playing with a friend's dog and it was licking my face. It licked my mouth and I started crying because I didn't know how to tell my mom that I was going to have puppies

Post Image: CC: Capture The Uncapturable

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Horsepower

I Used To Be Stupid — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 13:01:18 +0000

I can remember being a little kid and riding to places in the car with my parents. While crossing over concrete bridges I would think that the "bdbump" sound of the car tires going over the gaps in the concrete was the sound of the horses in the engine because I knew that cars had a lot of horsepower.

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