I Used To Be Stupid

Seeing Eye Dogs - What Can't They Do?

I Used To Be Stupid — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:24:49 +0000

When I was about eight or nine years old I had seen quite a few blind people grocery shopping or just walking around malls etc. I was pretty sure that they could do everything that everyone else was capable as long as they had their dog. I even thought blind people could drive if they had their guide dog with them!

Post Image: Mike Kline : CC

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Beverly Hills, 911

I Used To Be Stupid — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:20:42 +0000

In about second grade my mom use to always watch Beverly Hills, 90210. Well in school, when we learned the phone number to call the police and fire department, 911, I ran home and excitingly told my mom. When she asked me what the number was I told her "90210".

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The Flat Kid

I Used To Be Stupid — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 16:06:13 +0000

Flatty attempts to get flat.

I got this brilliant idea as a child from watching cartoons. I thought that if I was smashed between too hard objects, I would be flat. So I convinced my two even younger siblings to push the open bedroom door against the wall as hard as they could while I was between the door and the wall. When this did not make me flat, I had them put the plywood sandbox cover on top of me then jump up and down. All that was flattened was my poor broken nose. I know my mom called me stupid more than once on that trip to the emergency room.

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War War III

I Used To Be Stupid — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 18:47:29 +0000

Up until about the age of eight, I thought that World War II and World War I were actually called "War War II" and "War War I". My logic behind this was that these conflicts were so big, so extreme that they weren't just wars, they were WAR WARS! It wasn't until I asked my 3rd grade teacher if the next one would be called "War War War" or a "War War III" (a logical query!) that someone finally explained it to me.

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Invisible Sharks

I Used To Be Stupid — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:46:13 +0000

I used to never get into a swimming pool by myself because I thought that invisible sharks would attack me.

Apparently these invisible sharks could only eat one child at a time?

Post Image CC: edenpictures

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Titans and Dead Alligators

I Used To Be Stupid — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 15:44:57 +0000

When I was little I used to secretly believe that the hills around my home (in California) were actually giants that had fallen asleep thousands of years ago, and had slowly been covered with dirt and trees before normal-sized humans had settled the area. I never told anyone this believe because I knew they'd think it was silly, but I figured when the giants awoke, I'd be prepared to befriend them and save humanity!

I also believed that if I saw a cloud in the shape of any given animal, one of that kind of animal had died that day. For some reason cloud shapes always looked like alligators to me, and I worried about their population numbers.

Clearly I had an active imagination.

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Bleached Lips

I Used To Be Stupid — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:42:11 +0000

When I was younger I was fascinated by make-up especially since my mom didn't wear any. My friend and I used to sneak her mother's lipstick. We got caught a few too many times and since we were really to young to be wearing it she told us a line about how lipstick bleached your lips out leaving them colorless, thus requiring more lipstick to keep up the illusion. The line was believable since the woman had pale lifeless lips (I had seen them). I swore off lipstick until high school as a result!

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Breath Limit

I Used To Be Stupid — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 12:07:51 +0000

I used to believe that everyone had a certain number of breaths they could take, and you would die when you had taken your allotted number of breaths. Therefore, several times a day I would hold my breath for about thirty seconds thinking that if I did this often, I could add years on to my life!

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Churchgoers don't have sex.

I Used To Be Stupid — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:17:31 +0000

I grew up in a very religious family that attended church every Sunday. We memorized the ten commandments and I came to believe that adultery in "Thou shalt not commit adultery" was the same thing as sex. Even when I was in middle school and learned that sex was the way babies are made, I still believed that my church members didn't have sex. I just assumed that some how if the husband and wife rolled over the same spot at different times the woman would get pregnant.

I remember being completely shocked when I found out what adultery really was!

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Toilet Baby, Arise!

I Used To Be Stupid — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 12:07:32 +0000

I was told very young that the penis fertilizes the egg, and the mixing that occurs afterward produces a baby.

My father told me this as he was urinating. So I see him peeing, figure he was "fertilizing" (like watering a garden) and mom must have peed in there before him, so they could mix it up in the toilet bowl.

I have no explanation as to how the baby would have looked arising from the toilet, but that's how I thought babies were made.

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