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The following is a how-to guide with an accompanying mind map that explains step-by-step how to get unstuck and out of a rut.

Are You Feeling Stuck?

So you’re feeling kind of stuck at the moment. Your life is stagnating and you’re going nowhere fast. Yes, of course you have all these goals you would desperately like to achieve, however for one reason or another nothing is happening. Somewhere along the track you’ve lost your motivation and drive and your life seems to be at a standstill.

This place you’re at, isn’t very pleasant. You feel as though you have so much potential and so much to live up to, and yet there seems to be no forward movement. You probably often question what in the world is going on? How did I get myself into this mess? Well, there are actually some very valid reasons why you’re feeling stuck. Understanding these reasons can help you become aware of how you got yourself into this position, but awareness is only the first step to change.

Change only occurs the moment you decide to make a change in your life. However, for this to happen you must believe that you have the power within to make the necessary changes in how you think, act and interpret your circumstances. Stagnation is only temporary if you take it upon yourself to make changes for the better. It is however permanent if you give your power away and don’t take the initiative to move forward with purpose.

Reasons Why You’re Stuck

There are actually some very valid reasons why you’re feeling stuck. In fact, you are responsible for this situation. There’s no one to blame but yourself. Somewhere along the line you made the choices and decisions that led you to this moment in your life and now you are suffering through the consequences. So let’s try and rectify this situation once and for all and find out why exactly you are feeling stuck.

Here are some reasons why you might be feeling stuck:

Constant Worrying

Maybe you are feeling stuck because you constantly worry about what might happen. The worrying is preoccupying your thoughts and as a result you hesitate to move forward.

Unproductive Habits

Maybe you are feeling stuck because you consistently indulge in unproductive habits. These habits could be watching endless hours of television, mindlessly surfing the internet, and a plethora of other things that are robbing you of your livelihood.

Constant Disappointment

Maybe you are feeling stuck as a result of the constant disappointment you have suffered. You expected so much more of yourself, but things didn’t go your way. You made mistakes and failed. As a result, you’re disappointed and somewhat disheartened with how things have turned out, and this keeps you stuck in the same place with very little forward movement. It’s a pity you don’t learn from these disappointments to try again another way.

Limited Hope for Future

Maybe you are feeling stuck because you have limited hope for the future. All these disappointments have made you feel helpless, and this helplessness is now manifesting in your life as stagnation. Your thoughts are on all the things that could go wrong. You are essentially wallowing in pessimism and it’s eating you alive from the inside-out. If only you saw things in a different light. If only you could expand your perspective, then maybe, just maybe you might see that there is a flicker of hope at the end of the tunnel that signals a way out of these doldrums.

Blurry Vision of Future

Maybe you are feeling stuck because you have a blurry vision of your future. In fact, you have very little direction in life. You set no goals, you don’t have a purpose for living, and as a result nothing seems to happen in your life. There’s essentially nothing in life that gets you excited — at least nothing that you’re consistently working on. You have no active passions, and as a result there’s nothing in your life that provides you with the enthusiasm you need to take positive action.

Unwilling to Take Responsibility

Maybe you are feeling stuck because you are unwilling to take responsibility for your decisions and actions. You constantly make excuses, blame other people and circumstances for your problems, and complain all day about how unfair life has been.

Physically and Mentally Drained

Maybe you are feeling stuck because you’re physically and mentally drained as a result of ongoing stress and overwhelm. These emotions have taken over your life and as a result you absolutely have no energy to pursue anything meaningful and rewarding. You are in essence a slave to your emotions, and this is the reason why your life is stagnating.

Lack of Focus

Maybe you are feeling stuck because you lack focus. You lack focus because there’s either so much going on in your life at the moment that you’re simply unable to focus on your highest priority activities, or because you haven’t taken the time to clarify what it is you really want out of life. You have absolutely no priorities, and without priorities you have no direction, and without direction you just keep spinning in a circle. Yes you’re moving, but that movement is not forward.

Lack of Self-Belief

Maybe you are feeling stuck because you lack self-belief. You don’t believe in yourself or in your abilities to make things happen. This lack of self-belief could very well stem from numerous fears that have taken a hold of you. You’re unable to take the necessary actions because you fear that you are not capable of reaching your desired expectations. All this makes you rather indecisive, and as a result you make some forward movement, but then crawl right back into your comfort zone.

Lack of Inspiration

Just maybe you are feeling stuck because you simply lack inspiration. Yes, you might very well have things that you are absolutely passionate about. However these passions are weak because they don’t inspire you to pursue them with zest and vigor. It’s like driving an old rusty car. Yes it moves forward, but it could break down any moment. Unless you discover new ways to find the inspiration you seek, then unfortunately your car will always be old and rusty, and you will remain stuck in a place you rather not be.

Getting Unstuck

Having a clear understanding why you’re stuck means that it’s now time to get unstuck and move your life forward with purpose. Here is a four step process you can use to help you get unstuck:

Step One

Your first step towards making any change is to acknowledge that things actually need to change. Unless you acknowledge that things aren’t the way you want them to be at this very moment, then you’ll have no reason to change, and therefore no reason to break out of this stagnation.

Once you have acknowledged that changes need to be made, take time to reflect on your life and search for patterns. These patterns will help you to identify reasons why your life is the way it is at the moment. These patterns may also help you find answers that will allow you to break out of this stagnated state. Ask yourself:

What is causing my stagnation?

What excuses am I making?

What patterns am I seeing?

What do I expect should happen?

Your excuses are only fueling your stuck state. It’s of course important to acknowledge these excuses, but then it’s even more important to throw them out the door. You will never get unstuck if you continue to make excuses about your life. Only by taking full responsibility for your life and circumstances, will you create the momentum you need to move forward.

Step Two

You second step is to gain some clarity about your circumstances and the behaviors you’re potentially indulging in. Ask yourself:

What specifically am I doing?

Who am I doing it for?

Why am I doing this?

At times you might in fact be stuck for all the wrong reasons. You’re stuck because maybe you are doing something for someone else, or for someone else’s benefit. If this sounds like you, then quickly figure out why you are doing what you’re doing. You might even find that there are no valid reasons. And if that’s the case, then stop doing these things and breakaway from this stuck state.

Given all this, now it’s time to figure out what you would prefer to do instead. Ask yourself:

What would I prefer to do instead?

What are my goals?

What are my aspirations?

Unless you figure out what you prefer to do instead, how are you ever going to break-free from this stuck state? You will never find the treasure if you don’t know what it is you are looking for.

These goals and aspirations should now provide you with a sense of direction that will help you get unstuck. However, there are still probably some very valid reasons why you are currently feeling stuck. Your goals might always have been there, however you neglected to pursue them because something was holding you back. Ask yourself:

What has been holding me back all this time?

What are the reasons I am feeling stuck?

Do I have any fears that have held me back?

What specific fears might be keeping me stuck?

What about my habits?

What unproductive habits do I indulge in?

How are these habits hurting me?

What new habits could I develop that would help support my goals?

Gaining clarity about the specific habits and fears that might be holding you back, will give you the insight you need to make positive changes in your life. Without this clarity you will be lost — not knowing how to move forward.

Step Three

Your third step is to reevaluate three important things in your life: Your life purpose, your core values, and your social circle. Ask yourself:

What is my life purpose?

Is my life purpose right for me?

Is it right for me at this very moment?

Does it need to be modified in any way?

Your life’s purpose is what will get you up early in the morning and force you to stay up late at night. It’s something that you’re intrinsically passionate about, and something you will fight for despite the obstacles you might face. However, you may very well need to make some modifications if your life’s purpose no longer brings you the enthusiasm it once did. A clearly defined and passionate life purpose may be all you need to help break-free from your stuck state.

Once your life purpose has been clarified, have a think about your core values. Ask yourself:

What do I value most in life?

Why is this important?

What else do I value most in life?

Your core values will determine how you prioritize your life. If these priorities have meaning for you and are also aligned with your life’s purpose, then this will help you to find the motivation you need to break-free from your stuck state. If on the other hand there are some conflicts here, then you might need to reevaluate your core values and priorities moving forward.

Finally, let’s take a look at your social circle. Ask yourself:

Who is weighing me down?

How are they holding me back?

Your social circle includes your family, friends, peers and colleagues. These people will often have very good intentions for you. However, their good intentions might in fact be weighing you down and keeping you in a stuck state. This is especially true if you are doing certain things to please other people in order to meet their expectations of you. Gaining some clarity about your social relationships will help you to determine the best course of action moving forward.

Step Four

Your fourth and final step is to create a plan of action moving forward that will help you to get unstuck and create the momentum you need to achieve your desired outcomes.

Before you lay down a plan for getting unstuck, take time to do the following:

• Create a list of activities you’re passionate about.
• Create a list of activities that support your core values.
• Create a list of ways to get unstuck.

Listing down activities that you’re passionate about and that support your core values will help you to figure out how you should be prioritizing your time moving forward. On the other hand, creating a list of ways to get unstuck will build the foundations of your plan of action. Use this list to brainstorm ways you could potentially move forward out of your stuck state. Then ask yourself:

What one small step could I take today that would help me get unstuck?

Don’t hesitate. Take immediate action to get yourself out of your current predicament and moving forward with purpose.

If down the track you find that your momentum has slowed, then it could very well be due to a lack of urgency on your part. Doing things without urgency means that you don’t have enough reasons to make the necessary changes in your life. In such instances, you will need to create urgency. Ask yourself:

Why must I get out of this rut?

Why is it important to make this change?

Why is it important to make this change right now?

The more reasons you find to get unstuck, the higher levels of motivation and urgency you will have moving forward.

Getting Unstuck Once Again

Okay, so you have made good progress along your journey and managed to get unstuck. However, things happened and you have now lost your way again. You’ve now suddenly realized you’re stuck once again. Your life is stagnating, and there appears to be no forward momentum. If you’re finding yourself in this situation, there are some things you can do immediately that will hopefully provide you with the solutions you are seeking.

Let Things Go

If you’re suddenly feeling stuck, then it’s very possible that you’re holding onto things that are keeping you within this unpleasant place. Yes, you might have made mistakes and failed along the way. This has consequently made you doubt yourself, and you may now be living with the regret of making certain choices and decisions. All this has caused you to feel somewhat resentful as you observe others doing so well. And so you blame and criticize yourself for being so foolish, and as a result you begin indulging in the habits of procrastination, of over-complicating things, which ultimately leads to perfectionism. But no matter what, nothing seems to work, and you end up getting lost in a sea of excuses.

All these things are holding you back and keeping you stuck. LET EVERYTHING GO IMMEDIATELY. Mistakes and failure are there to be learned from. There are no regrets if you gain value from every experience. And there are certainly no excuses if you take full responsibility for your life. Just let everything listed here go. When you do, you will quickly find that a heavy burden has suddenly been raised from upon your shoulders. And this could be all you need to get yourself out of this stuck state.

Expand the Possibilities

The reason why you’re feeling stuck is because you have closed yourself off to new perspectives and experiences. From your perspective, the world is looking exactly the same as it did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, because you’re not open to new possibilities.

Take time to expand the possibilities by learning new skills, by gaining new insights, by exposing yourself to new knowledge and information, and by opening yourself up to new experiences, unique environments and interesting people. All of these things will help you to expand your possibilities and likewise expose you to new opportunities that will help you to finally dig yourself out of your stuck state.

Think Long-term

You’re suddenly feeling stuck because you’re thinking short-term. You’re getting lost in all the little things. All the details are eating you alive and creating your stuck state. You’ve lost your connection with the bigger picture — with your life’s purpose. It’s time for you to re-connect with that picture, to think long-term, and to consider all the possibilities that exist along this journey you’re on. This shift of perspective might be all you need to get unstuck.

Begin Experimenting

You’re stuck once again because you’ve lost that deep connection to your playful childhood self. You are taking things too seriously, and as a result you have lost that excitement and passion you need to maintain forward momentum. In such instances, you need to tap right back to that playful side of yourself and become a lot more curious about the world around you. One way to do this is to begin experimenting and trying new things.

Take risk, do something scary, challenging, random and different. Focus again on your passions and re-calibrate your direction. It doesn’t matter if you fail or make mistakes. Your life is an experiment. Learn from all these experiences, step outside your comfort zone, and embrace everything that life throws your way. Living this way will most certainly guarantee that you never remain stuck for long.

Building Momentum

In order to get unstuck permanently, you need to build ongoing momentum that will remove you so far beyond your stuck state that the only thing remaining will be an old distant memory about how life once used to be. To create this momentum, you will need to begin implementing a few important things:

Shake Up Your Routine

Begin by shaking up your routine and methods of working consistently over time. Stagnation often results when you continue to do the same thing over and over again for an extended period of time. This regular routine may give you a sense of comfort and security, however it could be hurting your creativity and forward momentum.

Connect with Inspiring People

Find people who will continuously inspire and keep you on your toes. These are the kind of people that always tend to challenge you and force you to step out of your comfort zone. They are the kind of people that will open you up to new perspectives, while encouraging you to experience life in new and profound ways.

Find Ways to Motivate Yourself

Ongoing motivation is a critical component that will help you to sustain the momentum you need moving forward. Without motivation you will fall back to indulging in unhelpful and limiting habits that will only keep you stuck. However, with the right kind of motivation, you will always find reasons to keep going no matter what obstacles or setbacks you might face along your journey.

To find the motivation you need, simply tap into your passions and continue to find valid reasons to keep moving forward and challenging yourself on a consistent basis. Creating a sense of urgency while working through specific projects or tasks can also help you to sustain high levels of motivation in the long-run.

Another way to tap into your motivation, is to go out of your way to make everything you do more exciting and fun. Have fun with every experience. Play with projects and tasks as if you were a kid. It’s this playful approach that will help keep you interested and motivated along your journey.

Get Enough Rest

It’s absolutely critical that you don’t burn yourself out. The moment you become too stressed and overwhelmed, is the moment you will find yourself stuck once again in a place you don’t want to be.

Stress and overwhelm are a part of life. They are in some ways an unavoidable part of life. You must therefore learn to manage these emotions effectively and get the necessary separation you need from certain activities to rest your body and mind.

Rest by getting enough sleep and relaxation. However, at the same time exercise to help keep your energy levels high and your mind focused and primed at all times.

Find Your Courage

Become more courageous in thought and action. Your courage will help you to try new things, take advantage of opportunities, and continuously live outside your comfort zone. It’s the act of living outside your comfort zone that will keep you unstuck and ready to create your life with purpose. However, in order to find the courage, you must also maintain a curious nature. When you’re curious you will tend to try new things because your curiosity will encourage you to find the answers to questions that are nagging on your mind. And subsequently you might need a little courage in order to find the answers to these questions.

Get a Makeover

Getting a makeover in order to get unstuck seems pretty silly on the surface. However, one of the reasons why you’re stuck could very well be tied to your self-image. You see yourself in a certain way, and this keeps you stuck. In fact this person that you see yourself as has all these limiting and unhelpful habits. You naturally relate with this person and this brings you a sense of comfort. If this is true in your case, then maybe it’s time for a makeover.

Get a full body makeover. Get a modern haircut, pluck those unwanted hairs from your body, and purchase some fancy new clothes that will immediately make you feel like a brand new person. Once your transformation is complete, start acting like this new person by adopting new habits, different thought patters, making surprising decisions, and so much more.

Given all this, be aware that it’s important in the long-run that you never allow your self-image to be intrinsically tied to the way you look externally. The confidence you show externally shouldn’t be tied to the clothes you wear or the way you look. It must be tied to how you feel about yourself no matter what you look like at any given moment. The makeover is a short-term band-aid strategy you can use to give yourself a quick boost, however it’s not an effective long-term strategy for a lack of self-esteem.

Volunteer Your Time to a Good Cause

Volunteering your time to a good cause or a charity will expose you to new ideas, people, places and experiences. This keeps your life interesting and provides you with the exposure you need to gain new perspectives that could essentially lead to unique opportunities.

Say Yes, Yes and Yes

When someone asks you to do something scary, say YES, When someone asks you to go on an adventure, say YES. When someone asks you to help them out with something, say YES. In fact, just say “yes” more often throughout the day. Say “yes” to things you wouldn’t normally do, just to find out what the experience is like. This constant exposure could potentially provide you with access to many different tools, people, skills and resources that will keep you out of a stuck state.

The sad thing about all of this is that many times we often say “no” to so many things. As a result you miss out on a great many new, challenging and interesting experiences that could potentially open up a world of opportunity for you. Don’t allow yourself to be one of these people. Say “yes” more often today, and use it to create the momentum you need to stay unstuck for good.

Hire an Accountability Partner

Hire a person who will keep you accountable for your choices, decisions and actions. Tell them all about the goals you are working towards and the steps you will take to get there. Then ask them to hold you accountable for attaining your desired outcomes. If along the way you slip and fall back into a stuck state, they will hopefully be there to help you get back on track. If they’re not there when you need them most, then hire someone else.

Alternatively, hold someone else accountable for their actions. The act of holding someone else accountable can be the catalyst to help you make positive changes in your own life.

Create a Bucket List

A bucket list is a list of things you write down that you would like to do over a lifetime. The list can include small things that won’t require much effort on your part, and it can also include big things that may encourage you to go well out of your way to tick them off your list. It doesn’t really matter what items your list contains, as long as they are things you really want to do in your life — even just once. Fill it up with stuff you’re passionate about, with adventures you can go on, and just make it a whole lot of fun.

There is no limit to how many items you should or shouldn’t have on your bucket list, just write down everything you can think of right now, and add other items to this list in the future. Then over time start checking items off your bucket list once you have successfully completed them.

A bucket list is a wonderful tool that will keep you from getting stuck, because each time you are feeling a little stagnant in your life, you will just turn to your bucket list for ideas that could potentially help you to gain new experiences, expand your horizons, and provide you with the momentum you need to get your life moving once again in the right direction.

Gain More Knowledge…

• 9 Reasons You’re Stuck Where You Are @ Marc and Angel Hack Life
• 10 Things to do When You Feel Stuck @ Psychology Today
• 25 Soulful Ways to Get Out of a Rut @ The Bridgemaker
• 62 Tips to Get Unstuck @ Robin Sharma
• How to Get More Done When You Feel Stuck @ Penelope Trunk
• How to Get Unstuck and Start Building Momentum @ Shake Off the Grind
• In a Rut? Six Tips to Getting Out @ Wise Bread

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The following is a how-to guide with an accompanying mind map that explains step-by-step the sacrifices you must make to attain success.

What Success Demands

No matter what goals or ambitions you might have, there is one thing certain: There is a price you must pay to get what you want in life. In fact, there’s no sidestepping the fact that any type of success you would like to attain demands something from you — it demands that you do certain things in order to get what you want. It’s simply the way life works, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to avoid it.

Let’s take a closer look at exactly what success in any field of endeavor may demand from you:

Success Demands You Show No Fear

Fear is something that is likely to consistently hold you back from your desired objectives. Success demands that you overcome your fears and develop the necessary courage you need to pursue your goals with vigor, passion and zest.

You must successfully strive to overcome, or at the very least successfully manage the fear of uncertainty, the fear of failure, the fear of getting rejected or criticized, the fear of making mistakes, the fear of change, and even the fear of hard work. These are all common fears that hold people back from the life they want to live. However, they can’t hold you back, because success demands that you have no fear, and if you want to achieve any kind of success in your life, then this is something you must successfully work through.

Success Demands Unwavering Commitment

When you are fully committed to something, nothing will sidetrack you. It doesn’t matter whether or not the sun comes up tomorrow, or whether or not the earth stops spinning on its axis. Okay, well maybe these are far-fetched examples, however I hope you get the point. It’s important that you are fully committed to your endeavors without allowing things to pull you off track.

Don’t just commit to your goal. That’s not enough. Success demands far more than that. What success demands from you is that you fully commit to being extraordinary, to being courageous, to being disciplined, and to being accountable for your decisions and actions. Success also demands that you have an unwavering commitment to excellence, a commitment to persevere despite the inevitable setbacks that life will throw your way, and that you are committed to take consistent action daily towards your objectives.

It’s the dedication you show on a daily basis towards your desired outcomes that will make all the difference in the end.

Success Demands Believing that Failure is Not an Option

Success in anything you do is riddled with problems, mistakes and the inevitable failure. These things are unavoidable. You will face these circumstances sooner or later along your journey. However, it’s not the circumstances that matter, it’s rather what you believe about these circumstances that makes all the difference in the end.

You must believe that no matter what happens — no matter how badly you fail and how horrible this might make you feel — that failure is never an option. Success demands that you pick yourself up after a failure or mistake and try once again. Yes, change your strategy and do something a little (or a lot) different, however you must keep going — just keep moving forward with passion and a strong sense of purpose that no matter what you will eventually get to your ultimate destination.

Success Demands You Make No Excuses

Excuses are for those people who live with constant regret about the things that they could have, should have or would have done if… These people never achieve their desired long-term outcomes because their excuses get in the way and prevent them from taking advantage of the opportunities that problems present them with.

Success demands that you take full responsibility for everything that happens to you without blaming others or blaming external events or seemingly uncontrollable circumstances for your problems. You are responsible for your decisions and actions, and as a result you never make any excuses, fully understanding that excuses only lead to further problems — they most certainly never help you solve them.

Success Demands You Make Difficult Choices

As you make progress along your journey towards your desired outcomes, success will demand that you make difficult choices about what you will do and about what you won’t do. It demands that you choose what you will and won’t sacrifice. It demands that you decide what’s the most important thing to focus on at any one time. Success demands that you choose who you will spend your time with, keeping in mind that the people you spend most time with could either help or hinder your progress.

Most importantly success demands that you make difficult daily choices about how you spend your time, energy and money. You must consistently invest your energy into meaningful tasks and goal congruent activities that will provide you with the highest long-term benefits. Spending your time on the wrong things could very well spell the difference between success and failure.

Success Requires Sacrifice

The goals and objectives you have in mind will not magically manifest in your life. You will need to work hard and potentially make some drastic sacrifices along the way.

Success requires some kind of sacrifice. You will not gain something for nothing. That’s not how the world works, and it’s therefore certainly not something you can bank on. If you’re not willing to make the necessary sacrifices to attain your goals and objectives, then you will fail to create the momentum you need to get your desired outcomes.

Anything you want in your life is essentially unattainable. It’s unattainable if you do not give something up in order to get something back. Giving something up could come in the form of your time, energy or money. You might need to sacrifice one of these things, or maybe a combination of these things in order to get what you want.

Here are some sacrifices you might need to make along your journey:

Sacrificing Who You Are

One of the biggest and most profound sacrifices you might undoubtedly need to make along your journey is changing who you are for whom you desire to become — for whom your “goal” needs you to become.

The end goal you have in mind requires that you shift how you think, what you believe, the habits you indulge in, and maybe even the values you live by. In fact, it’s very possible that you might need to become a very different person than the person you are today in order to have this goal in your life. And if you’re unable, or simply unwilling to make these sacrifices/changes, then it’s likely that the goal you desire will always be out of reach. Ask yourself:

What beliefs must I sacrifice to attain this goal?

What beliefs could actually prevent me from having this goal?

What habits and rituals must I sacrifice to attain this goal?

What habits could actually sabotage me from attaining my desired outcome?

What values might I need to shift in order to have this goal?

What does this goal demand that I change about myself?

How will I make the necessary changes?

You need to be willing to sacrifice the person you are today (without this goal) for the person you will be tomorrow (with this goal). These two people are not the same. And if you don’t believe that, then you will soon find out the hard way that life only gives you something of value when you are willing to grow into this new experience on a personal level. This means changing who you are for who you need to become to ultimately deserve having this goal in your life.

Giving Up Something Good to Get Something Better

Attaining your desired outcome might mean that you give up something that feels comfortable, secure and safe in the moment for something that is better long-term. This comes back to the instant gratification trap. Many people are simply not willing to give up their short-term pleasures for higher level long-term pleasures. They are lost in the moment and simply unable to bear through periods of short-term pain that they must get through in order to experience ultimate pleasure in the future.

If you’re serious about attaining your desired objectives, then you must be willing to let go of the small pleasures found in the moment that might very well distract and sabotage you from living the ultimate long-term pleasures that you will experience once your goal has been achieved.

Eliminating Distracting Activities

Your success is dependent on your commitment to eliminate all the distracting activities that could potentially sidetrack you from your ultimate destination. These are essentially the things that you indulge in on a daily basis that make you feel good, but aren’t good for you. These are your guilty pleasures such as mindlessly surfing the internet, playing video games or watching television shows and movies. All these things may feel good in the moment, however long-term they will only delay what you really want most out of life.

Paying the Price in Full

The moment you commit yourself towards the pursuit of a specific goal is the moment you must also commit yourself to the price you will need to pay to attain this goal.

Your goal always comes with strings attached. You simply cannot have your goal without making some necessary physical, financial, emotional, mental, and social sacrifices.

Have a think about your goal and also have a good hard think about the potential sacrifices you might need to make in specific areas of your life to help bring this goal to fruition. Who knows, you might even come to the realization that this goal you want so badly just doesn’t seem worth the effort. Because if you’re not willing to make the necessary sacrifices, then you shouldn’t be spending your time pursuing this goal. Spend your time instead on other areas that will provide you with a greater return on your time.

Letting Go of Conflicts

Sometimes you will make all these sacrifices to create room to achieve your goal, but you still don’t seem to be moving forward as quickly as you had imagined. This is very typical and it often results from a number of conflicts you have in your life that on the surface may not seem as though they are conflicting with your goal.

First and most importantly, conflicts may arise when you have conflicting goals. You might in fact have other goals that you are working towards that are competing for your time, energy and money. You are essentially spreading yourself too thin and as a result you don’t have the laser focus required to create the momentum you need to get things done.

Have a think in particular about all the small and medium sized goals that you are consciously and unconsciously working towards. These could be the goals that are sabotaging you from moving forward. You must decide today that you will either change them or eliminate them altogether. There’s no point holding onto these goals if they will keep you from reaching your ultimate destination.

As with conflicting goals, also have a think about any conflicting responsibilities and commitments that you might have. These are the things that are taking up your time and resources that you could instead be giving to your main objective. Cut these things from your life, and you will suddenly find yourself freed up to focus on the most important things in life.

Conflicts can also come in the form of destructive relationships. These are often the people who do not support you or your goals. At other times though, they can actually be the people who support you, however they continue to sabotage you by distracting you from your highest priority activities. Let these relationships go if you can. There is no point holding onto your past if it doesn’t serve your future.

Gaining Proper Perspective

When it comes to making the necessary sacrifices to achieve your goals, it’s critical to gain the proper perspective about what it means to be successful.

There Are No Shortcuts

There are often no shortcuts to success. The only shortcuts to success come from your experience. Once you know what to do and how to do it, you will be much more capable at getting things done the fastest way possible. However, this takes time, and success essentially comes down to your ability to use time effectively. This requires that you focus on the right things, at the right time, in the right way and spend just the right amount of time on them. It’s as simple as that, however it’s not simple. It’s hard work, and it takes a lot of effort and experience to get things to this stage.

Are you willing to make the necessary sacrifices to eventually get thing to this stage?

Most People Are Not Willing to Sacrifice

The reality of the matter is that most people are simply not willing to make the necessary sacrifices or to pay the ultimate price for success. This is either good or bad news for you. It’s bad news if you’re actually one of these people and not willing to make these sacrifices, however it’s good news if you’re not one of these people because it means that you already have the upper-hand just from the fact that you are willing to make the necessary sacrifices to attain your goals and objectives.

Anything Worthwhile Takes Hard Work

Anything that is worthwhile achieving in this world takes dedication and hard work. It requires considerable effort, thought and time invested in performing tasks and in acquiring the necessary knowledge, skills, resources and experience that will help you to ultimately attain your desired outcomes.

The Consequences of Making No Sacrifices

One sure sign that indicates you have not made adequate sacrifices for your goals is the fact that you continue to sabotage your efforts on a regular basis. This self-sabotage might come in the form of being too busy, indulging in procrastination and perfectionism, being constantly distracted with other activities, not willing to give up certain responsibilities and/or commitments, making excuses, etc. All these things are now manifesting in your life as regret and stagnation.

The most important takeaway from this is that your dreams will remain unfulfilled and that your life will change very little until you begin taking responsibility for yourself and commit to making the necessary sacrifices that will change your life for the better. Everything ultimately has a price, and you must pay it. If you don’t, then you will pay it another way by missing out on what you most want out of life.

Paying the Ultimate Price

It’s time for you to commit one way or another. You must make up your mind whether or not you are willing and able to commit and pay the ultimate price for success — the ultimate price to attain your goals and objectives. The decision is yours to make, however it’s a decision that should not be made lightly. Sacrificing is never an easy thing to do. It must make sense for you, and must provide you with long-term benefits that far outweigh the short-term sacrifices you will ultimately need to make. Here are a few guidelines that will hopefully help provide you with some clarify:

Step One: Clarify What You Want

First of all, before deciding what you will sacrifice, it’s important to clarify what exactly you would like to achieve. Ask yourself:

What do I want?

Why do I want this?

How badly do I really want this?

The more reasons you have for wanting something, the more sacrifices you are likely to make.

Step Two: Clarify Action Steps

In order to determine what you will need to sacrifice, you must first become familiar with the action steps you might need to take along your journey. Ask yourself:

What will I need to do to attain this goal?

What specifically do I need to attain this goal?

Do I need specific knowledge, skills, tools and resources?

Have a think through these questions and take a little time to draw up your plan of action moving forward.

Step Three: Consider Impact of Goal

Take time to consider the impact that the process of achieving this goal will have on your life. Ask yourself:

How will the process of achieving this goal impact my life?

How could it potentially impact many different areas of my life?

How could it impact my relationships with others?

What potential conflicts may arise?

Take into consideration the impact it will have on you emotionally, financially and socially. Think about how it will impact your habits and routines, your priorities, your personal time, and maybe even other goals that you are working towards. And ultimately search for potential conflicts that may arise as a result.

Step Four: Consider Possible Changes

Based on the conflicts you identified within the previous step, take some time to outline the kinds of changes that you might need to make to your life in order to minimize or eliminate these conflicts altogether. Ask yourself:

How must my life change in order to make room for this goal?

How must I change as a person in order to make room for this goal?

Changes must happen in two significant ways. You must first look at ways you can change your life, and secondly at ways you must change yourself. If you neglect any one of these areas, then it’s likely conflicts will continue to exist, and as a result you will continue to sabotage yourself and fail to meet your long-term expectations.

Step Five: Make the Necessary Sacrifices

Having clarity about what it is you want, about how you will get there, about the impact that these goals will have on your life, and about the possible changes that you must now make, hopefully brings some insight into the kinds of sacrifices that you will ultimately need to make to attain your desired outcome. Ask yourself:

What specifically must I sacrifice to achieve my goal?

What will be the impact of these sacrifices on my life?

Will these sacrifices be enough?

Who could shed some light on this?

Asking other people for their insights and perspectives could help shed some light on the kinds of sacrifices that they for instance needed to make in similar situations. This can help you to cover all bases — making sure that you have taken everything under consideration before committing to this goal.

Finally, the ultimate question is:

Am I willing to make these sacrifices to obtain this goal?

If the answer is YES, then also consider:

What if things take much longer then expected?

What if things are much harder then expected?

Given this, will I still be willing and able to make the necessary sacrifices long-term?

Sometimes while deciding to make sacrifices it’s easy to look at the short-term and ignore the long-term scenarios. Maybe you will achieve your goal quickly and it will be worth it. However, just maybe it will take you far longer than expected and as a result you will need to sacrifice far more than you imagined. If you fail to consider this scenarios, then you will fail to make the long-term changes necessary to create space for this goal in your life.

In the end, if you are not willing and able to make the necessary sacrifices to attain your goal, then either change your goal or dump your goal. There is no point pursuing something you will ultimately not be able to achieve. Yes of course, the journey is important. However, you will probably be better off spending your time focusing on other areas that will bring you greater rewards long-term.

Gain More Knowledge…

• 10 Things YOU Must Give Up to be Successful @ Marc and Angel Hack Life
• The Price of Success @ Ross Training
• The Price of Success: A Cautionary Tale @ Psychology Today
• We Have to Let Go of Who We Are to Discover Who We Can Become @ Tiny Buddha
• Will You Pay the Price to Reach Your Goal @ Change Your Thoughts

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The following is a how-to guide with an accompanying mind map that explains step-by-step how to overcome failure in life.

This is the second of a two part series about failure:

• Lessons in Understanding Failure
• How to Overcome Failure

Take Immediate Action

Having just failed at something, it’s important that you don’t get down on yourself by dwelling mindlessly at the guilt or disappointment you are now feeling as a result of this outcome. The best way to take your mind off the failure is to immediately take action.

First of all you must commit yourself to doing something that will help you to resolve things and potentially overcome this failed attempt. You must commit yourself to taking some kind of action despite the obstacles or problems you are now facing. However, before jumping into things, it’s important to reflect upon these obstacles and take time to draw up a plan of action to overcome them. Ask yourself:

What obstacles are preventing me from moving forward?

How could I potentially overcome them?

Having gained some clarity about what specifically is standing in your way, you must now pinpoint exactly how you will move forward.

At this time, it’s important to remind yourself about the objective you are wanting to attain. This is the end goal that you want to substitute for the failed attempt. However, this can’t just be any goal. It must be a passionate goal — something that moves you, and something that gives you ample reason to get up in the morning and follow your passions. If there is no passion behind your actions, then you will simply lack the motivation you need to get through the obstacles you face. Ask yourself:

What do I want to achieve?

When do I want to achieve it by?

It’s critical that you lay down an incremental plan of action with flexible time frames for completing specific tasks. Think in small steps instead of giant leaps. Overcoming a failed attempt can be difficult. This is why it’s important to take small progressive steps forward that will help build your confidence as you pick up momentum.

Having clarified what it is you want, you must now take positive action in the direction of your goal. Ask yourself:

What positive action could I take right now?

What one small action could move me forward?

Now begin immediately with that first step, without looking back. This is your moment to begin building the momentum you need to get through this setback.

Suggestions to Help Build Momentum

There are a number of things you can do that will help you to build up your confidence and momentum as you move forward past this failed attempt:

Seek Out Support

Be open to the idea of seeking support from other people. Other people might have been where you are right now. Their experience could be of great value to help you move forward. And even if they haven’t gone through what you’re trying to work through, they can still be there to help support you and potentially provide you with some guidance and/or fresh perspectives that will help you along your journey. This could give you the momentum you need to break through this temporary setback.

Burn Your Bridges

It’s difficult to create momentum when you are still stuck in the past — unable to let go of better days or “what if” scenarios. This is no time to mourn for better days. You must decide that you will burn those bridges and never look back. Instead you will look forward to the future and do the things that are necessary to ensure you get through this failed attempt successfully the next time around.

Clear Your Head

Often right after a failure, it’s important to take some time to clear your head in order to identify what just happened and what you need to do to get through this setback. On the surface this might seem as though it might impede your momentum. However, by taking the time to ponder what just happened, can provide you with the clarity you need to make the right decisions moving forward that will consequently help you to build the momentum you need to get things right the next time around.

The best way to gain some clarity is through the use of visualization techniques. Simply take the time to ponder what just happened, and then visualize the path you will take moving forward. While visualizing ask yourself:

What steps do I need to take?

How will I take these steps?

As you are answering these questions, use your imagination to visualize exactly what you are doing step-by-step that will help you to get through this moment of your life. The clarity you gain here will certainly help boost your confidence while also allowing you to make better decisions as you move through this process.

Be Realistic Moving Forward

It’s absolutely paramount that you keep your feet firmly grounded at this time. The outcomes you seek will come about as a result of hard work and dedication on your part.

Please don’t expect or rely on miracles. For you to get through this moment of your life successfully requires that you do things thoughtfully and carefully. It also requires that you are proactive and focused on moving forward without hesitation. The results you seek most likely won’t happen over night, however they will happen over time with consistent effort on your part.

Finally, it’s important you understand that life rewards those who take massive action. In fact, the more positive action you take the more progress you are likely to make. And even if you get stuck at times, you are likely to learn from this experience and adjust your course accordingly. This will likewise help keep you motivated and focused on exactly what needs to get done to help you side-step this temporary failure.

Reminders for Your Journey Beyond Failure

As you work on building momentum along your journey beyond this failed attempt, it’s important that you keep a few things in mind that will help you gain further clarity along this journey:

Seek Alternate Perspectives

It’s easy to get bogged down in one way of looking or thinking about a situation. This is especially evident when you repeatedly fail at something.

Repeated failed attempts should indicate to you that you’re not approaching the situation in the most effective way. You must therefore begin shifting your perspective about the approach you are taking. The best way to do this is to simply ask or reflect upon what others would potentially do in your situation. Ask yourself:

What would others do differently?

What would Richard Branson do in my situation?

What would Albert Einstein do in my situation?

What would Bugs Bunny do in my situation?

What would an artist do in my situation?

What would a child do in my situation?

If you cannot think about the answers to these questions by yourself, then ask other people for their answers to these questions, or simply ask them for their own perspective and ideas to help you move forward.

Focus on Solutions

After a failed attempt it’s always tempting to focus on the failure and get bogged down in the mistakes that you just made. However, this is no time to begin regretting what just happened. If you want to get out of this mess, you must begin focusing on solutions that can help you to adjust your approach the next time around.

Focusing on solutions is easiest when you stay mindful of the present moment. Solutions are found in this very moment, and not in the past or the future. Yes, of course learn from the past and plan into the future, but look for solutions in the present moment.

Be Mindful of the True Meaning of Failure

It’s important throughout this journey beyond failure that you keep at the forefront of your mind what failure actually signifies.

For starters, temporary failure is nothing more but a problem. You did something, and things didn’t work out as you wanted or expected, and now you have a problem on your hands. Taking time to work through this problem will provide you with the answers you need to get through this failed attempt successfully. It’s nothing more than a process of trial and error — an experiment of sorts, and you are the Nutty Professor. You are learning, growing and overcoming temporary hiccups along the way. You are in fact playing the game of life and learning the rules as you move along this journey.

Failure can also be a new beginning. Often you might need to go back to the drawing board and start over again. At other times it could simply be a new beginning in terms of the way you look at things and approach the events and circumstances of your life. Either way, it all comes back to the essential process of learning and growing from your life’s experiences. The more you learn and grow, the better you will become at playing the game of life — effectively side-stepping temporary setbacks and failed attempts.

Adapt Your Approach

If something is not working, then it’s possible you are not doing it right, or simply don’t have the necessary skills, support, tools, knowledge or resources at your disposal to get through this successfully. You must immediately become aware of this and adapt your approach accordingly. Ask yourself:

How else could this be done?

The more flexible you are in thought and action, the better decisions you will make when things appear to be going nowhere.

Cultivate a Solution-Oriented Creative Mindset

As you make progress along this journey, it’s absolutely critical that you keep your mind at peak condition. Your mindset must be primed and ready to think creatively and to take advantage of opportunities that may come your way.

A solution-oriented creative mindset is courageous, patient, determined, optimistic and grateful. However, probably most importantly, it’s playful — willing to play, be silly and laugh at itself. Yes, you’re dealing with a serious problem, but often the best way to overcome problems is to learn to be playful. This will help you relax while opening up your imagination to endless possibilities.

Keep Things Simple

The moment you begin complicating things, is the moment you will get lost in all the details. And it is these details that will dishearten you and destroy any motivation you had. Just keep things simple and straightforward. Even if you have a complicated problem, it’s often a simple solution that will provide you with the answers you seek.

Re-evaluate Outcomes and Decisions

As you move along your journey beyond this failure, it’s important that you consistently re-evaluate your outcomes and decisions. By taking time to contemplate how you’re doing and where you’re going, will help you to better clarify the path moving forward.

Prepare for Failure in Advance

Life is very much unpredictable and full of unexpected events and circumstances. Things often may not go your way. In fact, the bigger ambitions you have, the more failure you are likely to confront in your lifetime. This is okay. Failure is a part of life. However, failure doesn’t feel good, and so you want to try and minimize the negative impact of failure wherever possible. Here are some suggestions:

Prepare Contingency Plans

Things will not always go to plan. And in such instances — when confronted with potential failure — you will need to put in place contingency plans that will help you to adjust your course at a moment’s notice.

Create contingency plans for worst-case scenarios. Ask yourself:

What’s the worst that could happen?

How will I respond to this potential scenario?

What other courses of action could I potentially take?

Leave Room for Mistakes

Failure is often a result of a mistake that was made on your part. Like failure, mistakes are a critical component of your growth and development. Mistakes will provide you with the clarity you need to adjust your course of action accordingly.

Expect that you will make mistakes along your journey, especially if you’re doing something for the very first time. It’s important to leave room for these mistakes as you are formulating your plan of action. In fact, take time to consider what mistakes you are likely to make, and then build contingency plans around them. Ask yourself:

What mistakes am I likely to make?

What impact could these mistakes have on my desired outcome?

How must I adapt my approach when one of these mistakes are made?

Yes, mistakes can be costly. However, if you allow room for them, they will be nothing more than a learning experience that will help you to build momentum for the future.

Find Your Joy

Failure, making mistakes and experiencing setbacks doesn’t seem very joyful on the surface. However, it’s within the actions behind these outcomes that joy can be found.

Find joy not so much in your failures and mistakes, but rather within the act of trying and attempting new things, and within the process of doing things poorly at first. You are after all only human. You learned to walk by stumbling many times, and you will likewise learn to achieve your desired outcomes by falling on your backside many times.

While learning to walk a child stumbles and falls. However, we don’t often see them crying about it. Yes, they might cry the first time. However, later they laugh about it. They are joyful and happy that they tried and failed, because every time they try and fail they are actually making more progress. Then they get up and do it all over again, until one day they get it right and are able to walk without needing support or encouragement from others. Isn’t that how life should be? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could approach your challenges with the same joy children experience while learning to walk?

Put Yourself Out There

The best way to prepare for potential future failure, is to put yourself out there and fail as often as possible. Try new things, attempt something different and step outside your comfort zone as often as possible. Do this with insignificant things that aren’t tied to the big goals you set yourself. Here you will learn valuable lessons that you can eventually bring forth and apply to the big and significant future problems that you are likely to face.

Better yet, go out there and fail on purpose. Actually do something that’s completely out of your comfort zone and fail miserably at the task. Then learn from the experience, and use these lessons to help you better prepare for the problems that matter most.

Recognize Everyday Successes

To keep your levels of motivation high, it’s important to reflect on your past triumphs as well as your everyday successes. Within your successes lie the keys that will help you to get through the temporary failures and setbacks you will experience in the future. Take time to ponder how you overcame failure in the past, and bring these lessons forth into the present moment. Ask yourself:

What can I potentially learn from my past triumphs?

How did I overcome failure and setbacks?

How can I now use and apply this to my present circumstances?

Adopt a Beginner’s Perspective

No matter what it is you are doing — whether you’ve done it a hundred times or it’s your very first time — approach it with a beginner’s mindset.

When you approach something from a beginner’s perspective you are more alert, focused, curious and ask better questions. Conversely, when you are competent and overly confident about something, you will naturally tend to ignore and filter-out a lot of what’s going on around you. This closes you off from learning new things or from considering alternate approaches to getting a task done.

Develop Your Problem Solving Skills

One way to improve your chances of overcome future failure is to develop your problems solving and creative thinking skills. These critical skills will allow you to think more flexibly about your circumstances and will likewise open you up to perspectives and opportunities that you normally would not have been aware of.

Ask Better Questions

Asking the right kinds of questions will help you to gain greater clarity about the circumstances you are dealing with, while also helping you to stay focused on what needs to get done to attain the outcome you are after.

Take time to consider the kinds of questions you will ask yourself when confronted with failure. These questions must keep you focused, alert and motivated:

What if I keep moving forward?

What if I persist a little longer?

What if I do this differently?

Questions are especially important during moments of greatest uncertainty. They will provide you with the direction you need to keep moving forward in a positive and proactive way.

When to Quit

There will be moments in your life when it just doesn’t seem to make any sense to continue. Of course you may not want to quit, however quitting may in fact be the best option moving forward — it may be exactly what you need that will help provide you with the clarity you need to make better choices about the events and circumstances of your life.

When confronted with failure always ask yourself:

Is this right for me?

Is this right for me right now?

Is this worth pursuing? Why? Why not?

If your answer to the above three questions is a resounding “no”, then it’s very possible that the best decision moving forward is to simply pack up your bags and move in another direction. However, before you make any hasty decisions, here are several major reasons why quitting might be the best option for you moving forward:

• Quit only if it will help you move forward in life in a better direction.
• Quit only if it can help you unlock other opportunities that bring greater long-term benefits than those available on your current path.
• Quit only if through the act of quitting you can begin to focus on your true passions and personal legend.
• Quit only if it makes sense for health reasons.
• Quit only if you want to burn all your bridges and gain a fresh new start doing something completely different.
• Quit only if you’re on a sinking ship (metaphorically speaking). Going down with it could potentially bring you more problems than the problems you might face if you quit while it’s still afloat.
• Quit only if you want to try something that seems more worthwhile in the long-term.

Quitting is never easy, especially if you’ve invested a significant amount of time, emotion and energy into an endeavor. However, at times quitting may very well be your best option moving forward.

It is however important that you never rush into your decision to quit on something, because you will often find that the greatest of successes come only after the greatest of failures. Therefore don’t quit because things are hard or because you feel overwhelmed, or just because you don’t have all the answers right now. Quitting for these reasons will only bring about a life of regrets and self-pity. As long as you’re following your passions and approach every temporary failure with a playful creative spark, then you’re on the right track, and sooner or later you are likely to succeed and make your dreams a reality.

Gain More Knowledge…

• 5 Lessons Learned from a Devastating Tragedy @ Balance In Me
• 9 Reasons Why Failure is Not Fatal @ 99u
• 10 Things You Definitely Should Learn from Failure @ The Possibility of Today
• 25 Reasons Why Hitting Bottom May be Good for You @ Powered by Intuition
• 75 Reminders for Tough Times @ Marc and Angel
• Failure is an Integral Part of Success @ Urban Monk
• How Failures Can Make You Smile @ Reason 4 Smile
• How Failures Can Teach You Valuable Lessons @ Lifehack
• How to Compost Your Failures @ Michael Hyatt
• What to do When Life Falls Apart: The Essential Six Step Program @ World of Psychology
• Why Success Always Starts with Failure @ 99u

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The following is a how-to guide with an accompanying mind map that outlines the lessons we must learn to understand failure.

This is the first of a two part series about failure:

• Lessons in Understanding Failure
• How to Overcome Failure

Failure is Unavoidable

It’s important to understand that failure of some sort is unavoidable and inevitable — it’s simply a part of life. This is especially true while you are in the process of doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone and onto the path of uncertainty.

Failure of course doesn’t mean that all is lost. It means that things are temporarily not working out for you, and as a result you will need to stay flexible in your approach if you desire to get back on track. Therefore in this context failure is only temporary until you are able to find your feet again.

Reasons for Failure

You are experiencing temporary failure in life because of one or more of the following reasons:

Over-Complicating Things

You are obsessed with over-complicating matters and as a result you get lost in the details and overwhelmed by the process.

Caught in Instant Gratification Trap

You are being seduced by instant gratification and can’t escape those short-term temporary pleasures and temptations that make you feel all warm, fuzzy and tingly inside.

Indulging in Perfectionism

You are indulging in the habit of perfectionism and focusing on irrelevant things that don’t need more time or effort.

Overwhelmed by Fear

You are easily overwhelmed by fear of criticism, rejection, embarrassment, judgment, etc. These fears are causing your life to stagnate, and you’re going nowhere fast.

Afraid to Make Mistakes

You are afraid to make mistakes and therefore do not take the risks necessary to succeed in your endeavors. You are essentially risk averse.

Incapable of Learning from Mistakes

You are simply incapable of learning from your mistakes, and as a result you keep repeating the same mistakes and dealing with the same problems over and over again in an endless cycle.

Closed to New Perspectives

You are closed to new ideas and perspectives that might be able to provide you with the insights you need to get through your problems.

Not Flexible in Your Approach

You are not flexible enough in your approach and have an inability to think creatively about your problems and circumstances.

Giving Up Too Easily

You give up too easily. This comes down to a lack of willpower, self-belief and determination on your part. You essentially don’t want things badly enough because you simply don’t have enough reasons to pursue them.

Failing to Prepare and Plan

You fail to prepare and plan ahead of time. Lack of preparation causes mayhem and as a result your decisions and actions are scattered and misdirected.

Persistently Procrastinating

You persistently procrastinate because of a plethora of fears that are eating you alive and destroying your dreams from the inside out.

Underestimating Your Goals

You consistently underestimate your goals and as a result you don’t take the actions necessary to bring them to fruition.

Focusing on the Negatives

You tend to focus on the negatives. Pessimism is eating you alive. All you’re seeing is problems and worst-case scenarios, and this robs you of your motivation.

Lacking Knowledge and Resources

You don’t have enough knowledge, experience, resources or skills at your disposal to help you accomplish your goals.

Lacking Success Qualities

You lack one or more of the following qualities that are essential for success in any field of endeavor: commitment, resilience, discipline, patience, focus and/or ambition. You need all of these to succeed. However, if even one is lacking you will probably experience an endless cycle of failure.

Failure is Helpful

Instead of trying to avoid failure, you must come to accept it as a part of life — as an integral component of living as a human being in the 21st century.

It’s important that you never resist failure, and instead see it as something that has value and true transformational power to help change your life for the better.

Have a think about all the temporary failures you’ve experienced in your life and reflect upon how they have strengthened your resolve and taught you valuable lessons that have shifted your perspective and approach.

Failure will often present you with new opportunities for self-discovery; it will help you to better clarify your path and the decisions you are making; it will teach you the value of hard work and effort, and probably most importantly it makes life interesting, challenging and fun.

Failure is a blessing in disguise. However, for it to be a blessing in your life, you must first accept it as a part of life and stop resisting the act of temporarily failing at something. Temporary failure is not the end of the road, but rather a fork in the road that may lead you down a new and exciting path.

Understanding Failure

To wholeheartedly begin accepting failure as a natural and normal part of your life, you must understand why failure exists and what its true purpose is.

First and foremost, it’s important that you don’t get hung up on failure. Yes you might be the most Godly person in the entire world. However, bad things happen to good people. In fact, many times things you planned won’t go to plan and may often take much longer than expected. You must accept this without question. If you don’t, then you’ll be caught up living a life of excuses.

Failure is after all an event and not a person. You might have failed, but you’re certainly not a failure. It’s important to understand this. You must accept that failure is not who you are, but it’s rather an external event that is outside of you. If you fail to see failure in this light then it will crush you emotionally and squeeze all your self-esteem and self-confidence until you are left with nothing but self-pity.

Failure is nothing more than an opportunity to gain some valuable feedback about your decisions, actions and circumstances. It’s an opportunity to evaluate what’s working and not working, and adjust your course accordingly. In fact, failure is not really failure if you’re continuously learning from the experience and making changes along your journey. Failure after all is a critical requirement for any level of growth or change you will make in your life. In many ways, failure is life itself — without it we wouldn’t be human.

Failure of course depends on your interpretation of reality. Something happens and you can either view it as the end of the road, or as an opportunity to make better choices and begin venturing on a new and exciting path that wouldn’t have been available if you hadn’t failed miserably.

Ongoing failure is life’s best teacher. It forces you to reinvent yourself and refine your approach and methods. Ongoing failure also keeps your expectations realistic and grounded. And best of all, ongoing failure eventually leads to success if you remain flexible and adaptable in your approach.

What to do When You Fail

Okay, so life didn’t quite go your way, and you ended up failing miserably well below your expectations. This might not seem good on the surface, but it’s not all bad news. You have opportunities here — opportunities that you didn’t see coming. However, in order to take advantage of these opportunities you must immediately do the following:

Control Your Emotions

Find ways to stay calm, cool and collected emotionally. This is no time to panic. There are opportunities here, however you won’t see these opportunities if you are on an emotional roller coaster ride.

Now that you’re calm, you must also stay positive and focused on the task at hand. Don’t allow pessimism to get the better of you. Pessimism will distract you from spotting the opportunities that lie ahead.

Motivation is also an important component here. Without motivation you will find no reasons to keep going despite this failure. To unlock this motivation ask yourself:

Why is this important to achieve?

What will I miss out on if I don’t do this?

Why must I continue to persist through this failure?

The more reasons you find to keep moving forward, the higher levels of motivation you will experience, and the more energy you will have to keep fighting through your problems.

Another way to build your levels of motivation is to give yourself a pep-talk. Just talk to yourself out loud using encouraging words that will keep you motivated and inspired. Often it’s best to do this in front of a mirror because then subconsciously it appears as though someone else is giving you this pep-talk. Yes, it’s a very simple and straight-forward suggestion, but very powerful at the same time.

Take Ownership of Failure

Don’t go blaming other people or the events and circumstances of your life — that just seem so out of control — for your failure. This is the worst thing that you can do. The moment you admit to yourself that you have no control over this failed event, is the moment you might as well just give up and quit. This is certainly no time to quit. However, you must take full ownership and responsibility for everything that just happened. Taking ownership will put you in the driver’s seat of your own life, which is exactly what you need to get through these events successfully.

Show Some Gratitude

Be grateful for what just happened. Yes you failed, but it probably could have been much worse. And even if it couldn’t have been much worse, then be grateful for the fact that it happened because if you’re aware and stay positive you will eventually gain something tremendously valuable from this experience that could potentially change your life for the better.

Look for Opportunities

Straight after a failure is a time of great opportunity. Why is that? It’s the perfect time for spotting opportunities because you’ve stopped — everything has stopped. You have failed and this is now allowing you to take a breather and look at the events and circumstances of your life with greater clarity.

Without failure you would just keep moving forward and would most likely miss the opportunities that life presents you with. However, now that you have failed, you are primed to spot something that wasn’t previously within your conscious awareness.

Learn from the Experience

Failure presents you with incredible lessons that you must now take the time to learn. These are the lessons you will need moving forward to not only overcome this temporary failure, but to also help you overcome potential future failures and obstacles that are certain to be on your path. Ask yourself:

What happened?

Why did I fail?

You failed because you might not have had enough resources, maybe not enough time or support. Maybe the timing of your actions was simply all wrong. Or maybe you simply have unrealistic expectations. Figure out what exactly went wrong and why it happened, then continue asking yourself:

What is good about this?

What can I learn from this?

How have others faired going through these same circumstances?

What can I learn from these people?

What could I have done differently?

Where do I need to improve?

What must I now do differently?

Answering these questions as thoroughly as possible will provide you with valuable insights you can use to help move you past this temporary failure and towards the attainment of your goals and objectives.

Debilitating Responses to Failure

When you fail at something it’s critical that you are very wary of the following debilitating responses that people often indulge in when things don’t go their way.

Having failed, you must now avoid at all costs:

• Taking failure personally, blaming yourself for the failure, and as a consequence doing nothing about it.
• Seeing failure as the end of the line with no alternate paths.
• Spending time waiting for all the answers to come to you before taking further action.
• Trying to avoid failure and therefore not accepting it when it happens.
• Repeating the same mistakes over and over again while expecting different results.
• Getting yourself down by dwelling on past mistakes and failure. This will leave you feeling stuck and emotionally paralyzed.
• Making a plethora of excuses about why life isn’t fair and how this isn’t your fault.
• Indulging in unnecessary stress and worry about what just happened instead of immediately doing something about it.
• Fearing failure and therefore learning nothing from the experience.

Handling failure successfully is often not easy and does take a lot of courage and emotional resilience on your part. However, avoiding the above mentioned debilitating responses will help you to see failure in the best light possible, and as a result you will proactively learn from the experience and lay down the groundwork for a more promising future.

Gain More Knowledge…

• 8 TED Talks About Learning from Failure @ TED
• 9.5 Ways to Ensure You Fail Every Time @ Lifehack
• 12 Truths to Tell Yourself After a Mistake or Failure @ Marc and Angel
• 66 Famous Failures of People Who Never Give Up @ Goal Setting College
• Failing Does Not Necessarily Mean Failure @ Pick the Brain
• How Failure Helps You Succeed and Grow @ Lifehack
• How to Pick Yourself Up After Failure @ Pick the Brain
• The Anatomy of Failure: 21 Easy Ways to Fail at Anything @ Meant to be Happy
• Why the Road to Success is Always Full of Failures @ Dumb Little Man

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The following is a how-to guide with an accompanying mind map that explains step-by-step how to escape from the instant gratification trap.

Instant Gratification

Instant gratification is a habit where you forgo short-term pain that will eventually lead to long-term pleasure, and instead indulge in short-term pleasure that might eventually lead to long-term pain. In other words, you find reasons (excuses) not to do something because of the pain it creates in the moment even though you know that this action is necessary to help you attain your long-term goals and objectives.

Instant gratification often manifests as procrastination. It’s a form of self-sabotage where you get caught up indulging in the temptations of life at the cost of your long-term goals. It’s where the pleasures of the moment just seem so much more enticing than the temporary pain you might need to go through to get to your ultimate outcome. And this is why instant gratification rarely gets you what you really want in the long-term.

People caught up within the instant gratification trap often expect to gain something from nothing. Unfortunately the world doesn’t work that way. You need to give something in order to get something back. Whether that involves your time, energy or money, makes no difference. It’s the act of giving that counts. And often this “giving” might feel uncomfortable and painful. However, the pain you experience during these fleeting moments is what will bring you tremendous pleasure in the future when you finally obtain your desired outcomes.

Getting caught up within the instant gratification trap can make you very susceptible to addictions, jealousy, anger and impulsive behavior. It also often leads to higher levels of stress, anxiety and overwhelm in the long-term. In fact, indulging in instant gratification indicates that you lack self-discipline and that you are unable to control your emotional urges. This has significant consequences on your life — resulting in narrow minded thinking, poor decision-making and planning habits. And probably most importantly, instant gratification results in greater unhappiness and long-term dissatisfaction as you continuously forgo significant long-term benefits for quite insignificant short-term pleasures that come in the form of temptations.

Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification is a habit where you forgo short-term pleasure (present comfort) in order to gain significant long-term pleasure and rewards in the future. In other words, you ward off short-term temptations that might distract you from your long-term goals and objectives in order to focus on what you need to do to achieve your desired long-term outcomes. This of course might require that you suffer through short-term pain, fully realizing that this pain is only temporary but necessary to help you get to your ultimate destination.

Getting into the habit of delaying gratification gives you more sense of control over your life, decisions and actions. Furthermore, it helps you value hard work and effort. You understand even though things might be difficult in the present moment, that it’s necessary you get through this pain in order to experience the long-term pleasure you would ultimately like to have in your life.

The act of delaying gratification helps to strengthen your mind and shape your character, it builds your willpower, promotes higher levels of self-discipline, and teaches you about the value of patience. It is in fact the ultimate habit that determines how successful you will become and how much you will ultimately achieve in the future.

Prepare for Action

In order to break-free from the habit of instant gratification, it’s important that you consciously work through a five step process that will set you on the right track and moving in the direction of your long-term outcomes.

Step One

You must first understand where you are going. If you don’t understand where you are going or what you are going to be working towards, then it’s easy to get distracted by the temptations that life throws your way. Drawing up a plan to attain your goals and vision can help you to remain focused and disciplined along this journey.

Begin by clarifying your vision for the future. Ask yourself:

What do I want to achieve?

How will I achieve this?

Why do I want this? What are the benefits?

Why is it important to work towards this vision?

It’s important that you also specify your short-term objectives and priorities. This is critical because often instant gratification will crop up into your life when you are indecisive or uncertain about your direction. During these moments any temptation seems much more pleasurable than trying to work through the pain of figuring out what to do. This is especially true when you are confronted with unexpected problems.

Step Two

Along your journey towards fulfilling your long-term vision of the future, you will confront many problems. Some of these problems will be unexpected, and if you are not ready and able to deal with them, it then becomes easy to indulge in those short-term pleasures that will bring you momentary periods of comfort — essentially distracting you from your problems.

Problems can be quite unpredictable, and you won’t always know what problems you might face in advance. And yet problems are something you can effectively work through at the time as long as you don’t get caught up indulging in temptations that are likely to distract your mind from the most important tasks at hand.

For this very reason, it’s critical that you identify the temptations you might confront along your journey that could sidetrack you when the road becomes difficult. Ask yourself:

What temptations could sidetrack me?

How will I handle these temptations?

At this stage, don’t make the mistake of trying to find solutions to your problems. Your problems are irrelevant. You will most certainly overcome them, as long as you don’t get caught off-guard by the temptations that life will throw your way. These are the temptations that will help you to forget about your problems — they are the temptations that will bring you instant pleasure and will temporarily eliminate the pain of the problem that life blessed you with.

In the end it’s not the problem you must worry about, but rather concern yourself with the things that could distract you from solving your problem.

Step Three

In order to avoid falling into the instant gratification trap, it’s paramount that you build a strong support network of people who will help support you during difficult moments along your journey. Ask yourself:

Who could support me along this journey?

How could they support me?

What would their role be?

You will unlikely achieve the success you envision without a strong support network. These are the people that can help you to get past your problems. They are also there to help you stay focused and keep your eyes on the prize (end goal) without being sidetracked or distracted by temporary pleasures that life will no doubt tempt you with.

It’s also important here that you clarify what kinds of resources you might need along your journey. Ask yourself:

What resources might I need?

How will I acquire these resources?

Your resources might include tools, skills, knowledge, and a plethora of other things that you will need to achieve your desired long-term outcome. Maybe you’ll even need resources that will help you to ward off short-term pleasures and temptations that might suddenly creep up on you during difficult moments. Really have a good long hard think about what you might need along your journey to help guarantee you remain focused on what’s most important at all times.

Step Four

It’s important at this stage to set clear boundaries or rules about what you will do and what you will avoid doing at all costs.

Without clear boundaries, it’s easy to fall prey to temptations. However, with clear rules in place about what you’re allowed and not allowed to do, will help you to feel more in control of the events and circumstances in your life. Ask yourself:

What am I allowed to do?

What’s absolutely off limits?

Determine what kind of behaviors you will no longer indulge in and think about the long-term rewards and benefits you will derive from avoiding these potential temptations.

Step Five

Finally, take time to create a reward system that will help keep you motivated long-term.

Reward yourself not so much for what you are doing, but rather reward yourself for staying away from possible temptations that could sidetrack you. If for instance you don’t get caught up within the habit of instant gratification for an entire week, and as a result you stay fully focused on the highest priority activities, then reward yourself with some temporary pleasure that will satisfy your senses. However, once the reward is done, move on and get back on track.

Doing things this way helps you to stay in control of your behavior. Yes, you are giving yourself permission to indulge in temporary pleasures and temptations from time-to-time, however these are not distractions, but rather rewards for your efforts. You are in control of this behavior and therefore you are in control of your life. It is when your behavior controls you and you end up falling prey to instant gratification, this is when your short-term pleasures begin getting in the way of your long-term objectives.

Caught Within the Instant Gratification Trap

Okay, so no matter how much you tried to discipline yourself, and no matter how much you focused on your long-term objectives, you unexpectedly just couldn’t resist… things got difficult or just plain boring, and you just couldn’t resist those temptations… the short-term pleasures that make life so worthwhile. And now you’re trapped — caught up within the instant gratification trap and you have absolutely no idea how to dig yourself out.

Being caught within the instant gratification trap is not ideally the place you would like to be. However, you’re here now, and must accept that fact. Mistakes happen, and temptations will sometimes get the better of you. However, all is not lost. You can still escape… and you better do it quickly before it takes over your life. Given this, here is your four step escape plan:

Step One

Immediately, the moment you are caught up within the instant gratification trap you must distract yourself with another activity or at the very least separate yourself from the temptation you are indulging in.

There are two ways you can refocus your mind on what’s most important. First, you can make use of your support network and talk with someone who can help you to work through this. Your second option is to pull yourself away from the temptation and just sit quietly thinking about your behavior for a few moments. It’s however important during this time that you remove your emotions from the equation. Think logically about what just happened, not emotionally.

During this period of contemplation, there is one critical thought that must cross your mind that should make you think twice about what it is you were just doing. Have a good hard think about whether or not you are willing to sacrifice your future for fleeting moments of relatively insignificant and meaningless pleasure. If this gets you thinking, then continue asking yourself the following questions that will hopefully help you to begin doubting your behavior:

Will this decision help or hurt me?

What’s the long-term impact of this fleeting moment of pleasure?

Is it really worth indulging in this temptation?

What if I get into the habit of indulging in this every day? What will be the long-term impact?

How will I feel about this tomorrow? How will I feel about myself?

How could this delay what I really want most out of life?

Working your way through these questions will at the very least make you doubt your actions, and in some instances the answers you give to these questions may be all you need to get back on track.

Step Two

Having thrown doubt on your behavior, it’s now time to create the motivation you need to help you re-focus and move forward. To do this, consider the rewards and long-term pleasures you will derive from walking away from this temptation. Ask yourself:

What’s the big picture?

Why is it important to achieve this outcome?

How will I benefit from achieving this outcome?

Reminding yourself about what it is you are working towards in the long-term will help you to remember what’s most important moving forward. This will likewise allow you to re-prioritize your actions accordingly to help create the momentum you need to achieve your goals.

Step Three

You must now leave this temptation behind and get back on track as quickly as possible. However, don’t just forget about what just happened and return to your normal routine. If you do this, then it’s probably likely that you will fall back into the same instant gratification trap as before. Instead, have a think about what you could do to help eliminate this specific temptation so that it becomes ever more so difficult for you to fall back into this trap again in the future. Once this is done, you will be ready to re-focus yourself on your main goals and objectives.

Step Four

Now it’s important that you learn from this experience. You made a mistake, and that’s perfectly fine. Everyone makes mistakes. We’re human after all. However, because we’re human we are also very capable of learning from our mistakes and adjusting our course of action accordingly.

Take the time to learn from this experience by asking yourself:

What can I learn from this experience?

How could I do better next time?

The more willing and open you are to learning, the less likely you are to fall back into the same instant gratification trap in the future, and the more likely you are to attain your long-term goals in quick succession.

Making Long-term Progress

Keeping out of the instant gratification trap is a long-term process that needs constant attention. The moment you let your guard down is the moment it can creep up on you, and before you know it you’ve been sucked in by temptations. There are however things you can do on a daily basis that will help you to ward off this nasty habit.

Stop Thinking About Short-term Pleasures

This sounds simple on the surface, however it can be quite difficult if you are surrounded by temptation. If this is true in your situation, then you must immediately transform your environment and hide or — better yet — remove the temptations altogether. The more difficulty you create for yourself when it comes to accessing and indulging in temptations, then the more likely you are to stay focused and on-task when problems inevitably arise.

Quit Justifying Your Actions

Are you making excuses and justifying your actions? There is never really a good excuse for indulging in temptations that distract you from your problems and even worse, sabotage your desired outcomes. The excuses you make are only lies you have created to make yourself feel better.

If you find that you are making a lot of excuses about why it is okay to indulge in these temporary pleasures, then it is strongly recommended that you seek a different perspective. Have a chat with a few people within your support network, and get their feedback about the situation. Hopefully one or more of them will put your excuses to shame.

Keep Yourself Accountable

It’s important that you always keep yourself accountable for your decisions and actions. Never deny the fact that you fell into the instant gratification trap. Acknowledge the fact that it happened, accept responsibility, hold yourself accountable for your actions, and right your wrongs to get yourself back on track.

You might of course want to ask someone else to become your accountability partner. However, they will most likely not be there by your side for 24 hours per day. And if they’re not there, then who will be accountable for your decisions and actions? You of course. You must take responsibility. Others can help you, but ultimately the buck stops with you.

Learn to Manage Self-Control

Your greatest victories against instant gratification will be when you have consciously mastered self-control over your impulses and behavior. Yes, of course you can hide all your temptations and eliminate them out of sight and out of mind. However, to truly master self-control, all your temptations and the things that give you instant satisfaction and pleasure must be at arm’s reach.

When things are at arm’s reach and yet you resist indulging in them, then that is the moment when you begin mastering the process of self-control. It might of course be difficult during the early stages, however over time your self-control will grow stronger like a muscle would when used. The more you use it, and the more often you resist those instant pleasures and stay focused on what’s most important, then the more control you have over yourself, over your life and over your destiny.

Develop Long-term Motivation

Your levels of motivation are likely to dip up and down over time. This is okay. It’s natural for your short-term motivation to waver as events and circumstances — some of which may be beyond your control — influence your emotional state. Don’t concern yourself too much about short-term motivation. What you should focus on is developing long-term motivation. Long-term motivation comes from thinking big — reflecting on the bigger picture or vision you have about how your future will look like down the track. And this is exactly what you must keep in mind at all times to keep yourself focused and motivated along your journey.

You can of course create short-term motivation by challenging yourself. For instance give yourself time limits for completing a task. Or turn a tedious task into some kind of game that you need to win in order to move onto the next phase of your journey. These kinds of short-term motivational strategies will help you to stay focused and on track on a daily basis. However, without the bigger picture, your short-term motivation will waver because you will have very little to look forward to down the track.

Create Visual Reminders of Your Goals

One of the best ways to maintain long-term motivation is to display visual reminders of your goals and priorities on your wall or desktop. It could be in the form of a vision board, or some kind of collage that represents your goals. Or it could just be photos of what you would like to achieve in the future.

These reminders come in handy whenever you are tempted to go off track and possibly indulge in something you shouldn’t be doing. During these moments take time to reflect upon the visual reminders of your goals. This could in fact be all you need to help you stay focused and on track.

Invest in Future Gains

One of the best ways to stay away from the instant gratification trap is to invest your time, effort and energy into future gains. This basically means pursuing long-term pleasures, benefits and rewards.

Consider what you are likely to gain from every action you take long-term. Yes, of course the current task you are working on might seem somewhat tedious and boring, however it’s a part of the bigger picture and will therefore lead to some significant gains in the future.

Always remind yourself what you are gaining long-term from every task you perform. This by itself could trigger the motivation you need to help you move forward.

Prepare for Short-term Pain

The reality of life is that we very rarely get something for nothing. This is very true when it comes to the attainment of your goals and objectives. You are going to undoubtedly need to get through a lot of short-term pain and discomfort to achieve your desired long-term outcomes. At times, this pain might not even be short-term. You might in fact need to make serious sacrifices and go through some unimaginable struggles along the way. It’s during these times when the instant gratification trap will come into play. And it’s during these moments that you must resist the temptation to succumb to your urges for temporary pleasure.

Your life and long-term goals are probably way more important than the momentary temptations that are often thrown your way. If you honestly believe this, then you will have no problems developing the habit of delayed gratification. However, if you don’t believe this, then you will continue to experience fleeting moments of pleasure, but in the end you will not be satisfied, you will not be happy, and you will certainly not be fulfilled. At the end of your life you’ll have nothing more but an ageing memory full of regrets and unfulfilled expectations.

Gain More Knowledge…

• A Valuable Guide to Resisting Temptations in Life @ Balance in Me
• Delayed Gratification and Children @ The Simple Dollar
• Delayed Gratification and the Secret to Willpower @ Wise Bread
• How to Help Your Children Appreciate Delayed Gratification @ Get Rich Slowly
• How to Use Instant Gratification for Long-term Growth @ Alive with Passion
• How to Use Temptation to Strengthen Your Willpower @ Psychology Today
• Instant vs. Delayed Gratification @ Timless Information
• Moving Beyond Instant Gratification @ Graig Harper

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