I Grow Humans... What's Your Super Power?

Product Recall - Evenflo Switch-A-Roo Telephone Toy

2009-07-21T15:52:00.007-04:00

Recall Notice Courtesy of Toys"R"Us:

Evenflo® Switch-A-Roo™ Telephone Toy
Model number 6391911

The mirror decal can peel away, posing a choking hazard to children. The decal should be removed and discarded immediately. Toys should not be returned to the retailer. For assistance, call Evenflo’s toll-free number at:

1-800-233-5921
(8am – 5pm ET) or visit
safety.evenflo.com

"R"Us Item # 227217

In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

For more product recalls courtesy of Toys"R"Us, visit their Product Recalls List here.

For a comprehensive list of all the latest recall information, visit Recalls.gov.

Nursery Adventures

2009-07-15T14:36:00.000-04:00

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...

Nurseries are not for babies.

A baby does not need his own room. A baby does not need a $500 sleigh-style crib in a cherry wood finish with a three-level dropside and convertible crib rails. A baby does not need expensive matching crib linens and intricate wall murals and tons of fancy gadgets that swing and rock and play classical lullabies.

No, the process of planning and creating my son’s nursery has taught me that nurseries are for the adults – more specifically, for mommy and her brigade of fellow, future and former mommies to dote on and admire. In reality, babies don’t need much – and they certainly don’t require the level of pomp and circumstance with which many of us approach the task. The cuteness and the convenience and the variety of items chosen for a baby’s room is often based far more upon what mommy wants than what baby needs. This is why there are a dozen different styles of swing to choose from, all performing the same basic functions… and fifty different themed bedding sets for each gender… and a variety of pacifiers with butterflies or frogs or rainbows on them. I know that Jaxon won’t care or even know what color the changing pad cover is, and I’m pretty sure he would have been equally oblivious whether I had settled on the helicopter crib set I was considering for a time or the jungle theme I eventually chose. The wall shelves I painted and decorated with wooden animal cut-outs are adorable, but plain wooden shelves would have served the same purpose. I could just as easily have thrown his stuffed animals in a basket as hung them on colorful links suspended from the ceiling, as I opted to do.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this. After all, Jaxon’s not here to give his opinion on such matters. And many of the decisions I made when putting his room together were at least partly driven by logic: finding ways to make frequently-used items more accessible; using wall and ceiling space to make up for the lack of floor space; looking to minimize clutter and keep things organized. And yes, some of it was just too damn cute to pass up. But at the end of the day, all he really would have needed was a place to sleep, a boob to suck on, clothes to wear, diapers to poop in, and his parents to love him. The rest is just fluff.

However, the big nursery to-do does serve on other purpose - all of that planning, researching, brainstorming, shopping, building, painting, hanging, creating, organizing and re-organizing, arranging and rearranging was a very welcome distraction and an outlet for the misplaced energy of mid-pregnancy. I’ve said before that pregnancy feels like one big waiting game – waiting for the months to pass, waiting for test results or ultrasound appointments, waiting for news, waiting for developments, waiting for milestones, waiting for change, waiting for the fruits of your labor (no pun intended) – the time flies but it also crawls. Working in the nursery helped remind me that it was all leading somewhere, that I was working towards something – eye on the prize, as they say.

I had the somewhat unique and difficult task of transforming what was already my step-daughter’s bedroom/playroom into a bedroom/playroom/nursery for the two of them. And we are not talking about a large room – 10’ x 10’ at most, probably – so it was definitely a challenge. She already had a good amount of stuff in there and it was set up kind of perfectly for her – plus the placement of the windows and doors in the room didn’t leave a whole lot of options for how to arrange the furniture and such. I wasn’t quite sure how it was all going to work out, but hey, I like a challenge.

Okay, I was obsessed, actually. The baby shower really kicked it into gear – there was SO much stuff and so few places to put it at first, and having it all just strewn about was driving me crazy - it seemed impossible to think it was ever going to fit. From that day on I spent hours almost every night in that room or at Wal-Mart or shopping online for ways to utilize the small space and make a place for everything. I’d get out of bed at all hours of the night because I had a great idea and couldn’t wait until the next day, or because I’d come up with a solution to something that had been bugging me and was keeping me awake. I often spent my lunch breaks scouring the internet for ingenious storage tips and other upgrades to what I had already done, always trying to make it better and more organized and more cohesive. I looked at so many different types of storage accessories – shelving units, closet storage solutions, underbed storage, wall shelves, hanging storage, totes, bins, containers, racks, wall hooks, over-the-door hooks, toy boxes, buckets, bags, baskets, corner shelves, drawer dividers – I didn’t want to miss a single thing that might help maximize what little space I had to work with. I moved things around more times than I can count (and more than a few times they ended up right back where they had started). And of course, as I’d buy or receive more gear and supplies, I would change little things around here and there to accommodate.

I’m at the point now where I feel it’s basically done and pretty much perfect – there are a few little things here and there that need to be finished up, but overall I definitely think I did as much as I could with what I had to work with… but when I’m bored you still might catch me online looking at storage options or nursery décor just in case I find something amazing. And there are times when I’m sitting at home watching TV or doing something equally mundane when I wish there were something I could still be doing in the nursery. I’m happy to say, though, that I haven’t made any significant changes recently and I’m really happy with how it came out.

PICTURES!

Jaxon's Side of the Room:

Angelina's Side of the Room:

There Are No Words...

2009-06-01T10:06:00.001-04:00

Over the years, I have been known to dabble in a bit of mediocre poetry - it's something I routinely obsess over and then abandon for months at a time, but I always come back to it. Longfellow I am not, but when life starts to overwhelm (or underwhelm) me, it provides an outlet. I have written about so many different aspects of my life, from the trivial to the touching to the traumatic, that I was surprised to realize one day that I had not yet felt moved to write about my pregnancy. I sat down and attempted to put on paper the many feelings, emotions, thoughts and questions that I knew were floating around in my head - and found it nearly impossible. After the third or fourth time I had written, reviewed and erased several verses of prose, it occurred to me that my inability to express myself in this situation was the best testament to how truly profound and remarkable this experience really is - so instead of writing about it, I wrote about my inability to write about it. The poem below is the result.

Life is a funny thing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There Are No Words...

Pen to paper proves useless
The words don't come
Strange that I can’t explain this gift
Looking back through the pages
So many moments cast in ink
Dark days mingling with moments of greatness
Sweet sanity woven into the madness
Facts and figures
Puzzles and riddles
Questions and answers
Nonsense, common sense, perfect sense
Expressions of hope, fear, sorrow
Stories of loss, betrayal, redemption
The evil and the righteous
Declarations of love
Admissions of regret
Childhood, adulthood, awkward stages in between
Confusion mixed with clarity
Truth, beauty
Good, bad, ugly
The best and worst of me
I have written them all with ease
Thoughts forming letters forming phrases
Flowing from my hand
As if they’d been there all along
Waiting to be set down
And yet now, in this moment
The flutter in my heart leaves me speechless
Standard emotions easily identified
But the real significance
The true greatness
As I said, there are no words
An event that brings faith to the faithless
That makes men of boys
And humbles our very existence
If I could take the joyful tears from my eyes
The constant smile from my lips
The eager twinkle in my eyes
The nervous wringing of my hands
The impatient pacing of my feet
The excited racing of my heart
And put them all on this page
That would be the poem I’d need to write
To make it accurate
To make it complete
To make it worthy
In the absence of such a translation
I offer the closest summary I can summon: I cannot wait to meet you

Decision Time: Baby Gets a Name!!

2009-05-15T14:33:00.007-04:00

After much debate, discussion and consideration, I am happy to say that we have officially chosen a name for our little munchkin!!

Please put your hands together for...

**Drum roll**

JAXON JAMES CASSIDY!

**Fanfare and wild applause**

What a relief - I know we've technically got plenty of time but it's nice to be able to match a name with the squirming critter in my belly.

Honestly, the middle name was the toughest part. We had pretty much settled on Jaxon as the first name for weeks before we came to a definite consensus on the middle name. All told, we really only seriously considered three first names, and about a dozen middle names. I even went so far as to take a poll to help us narrow down middle name options:

A quick note about the poll - for starters, you can see that numerically Charles got the highest percentage of votes. However, that only occurred because Charles was my father's name (he died when I was 11 years old) and pretty much his entire side of the family voted for Charles solely for that reason. While I don't consider that a bad reason for voting the way they did, I also don't believe it should be the only reason, and because of that I felt like I should really only count those family members as one collective vote (and that still left the name Charles tied for second place in the voting).

So the top five names were:

Jaxon Connor
Jaxon Charles
Jaxon Thomas
Jaxon Taylor
Jaxon James

Although we did appreciate the sentimentality of using Charles, neither of us really truly liked the sound or social implications, so we discarded that one almost immediately. Thomas wasn't bad, but it wasn't great, and that one fell off the list shortly thereafter.

At first I was really leaning towards Connor, but the fiance wasn't crazy about that one from the beginning and as time passed I also came to like Taylor and James more, so we agreed to nix Connor as well.

We went back and forth between Taylor and James a few times. More than once we were ready to settle on Taylor, and then something would change our minds and we'd be back to James.

It finally came down to two factors: complete name flow and nickname potential. While I thought that Jaxon Taylor on its own sounded better than Jaxon James (the double J thing really bothered me at first), when I added the last name into the equation, Taylor didn't pair as well. We also came to the conclusion that we like JJ as a potenital nickname better than JT, though we agreed that both are pretty cool.

Decision made. And now we play the waiting game until we get to match a funny little face to the name we've chosen - so close and yet still so far.

A Baby Registry is Never Finished, Only Abandoned

2009-04-26T17:56:00.006-04:00

I must confess, I have been working on my baby registry for months now. At first it was mostly just window shopping and information gathering. I checked out a few of the major retailers who offer baby registry services: Babies R Us, Baby Depot, Target and Walmart. After considering a number of factors, including selection, reputation, available resources, and convenience, I decided I would register at both Babies R Us and Target.

Babies R Us had the largest selection by far, and is the most frequently used retailer for baby registries. Also, their website is really detailed and user friendly. For instance, it offers a lot of good FAQs, checklists and buying guides for first-timers, which I really needed. The pictures and product descriptions are clear and extensive, and most of the products provide User Reviews so I could read the opinions of people who had actually bought and used the products.

I chose to register at Target as well mostly for the added convenience and the affordable but quality selection of products. Babies R Us stores tend to be few and far between (I think Connecticut has 4 altogether) while there's practically a Target in every town, and this works out for people who prefer to do in-store shopping so they don't have to pay the shipping fees to shop online. Plus, it's nice to be able to see things in person sometimes. Some of the items available at Babies R Us were not available at Target and vice versa, so it allowed me to pick from a wider range of items in certain cases. I also found that some of the items available at both stores were cheaper at Target, or that some items you could only buy online at Babies R Us were available in-store through Target.

When I started I really had no idea what I would need beyond the obvious general gear: crib, car seat, stroller, diapers, wipes, clothes, bibs, etc. Of course if that was all you needed, it would make for a pretty boring if not pointless baby registry so I knew there was more to it than that. Plus I wasn't sure how to choose between the brands, models and styles of all the various products. If left to my own devices, my baby registry would have probably developed in one of two ways: either a) I would have chosen too much stuff, much of which I would never really need or use, half of which would not even be appropriate for my purposes, and some of which would likely have been unsafe or poor in quality, or b) I would have chosen very few items, not even aware of the many smaller but necessary items I would need to purchase later on. Thankfully, as always, I did my homework. That's just how I roll.

First I scoured the internet for lists of "must-have" items. There are a number of different places that are happy to tell you what they think you should have when baby comes. Here are a few examples from:

Babies R Us
Target
Walmart
BabyFit.com
Parents.com

After printing and reading over numerous lists like these, and reading other articles and guide book chapters on the subject, I realized that, while there were many similarities, no two lists were exactly the same. I decided to combine all the information I had gathered and develop my own must-haves list that I felt would best suit my needs. I will happily post this in the near future, but keep in mind that what's "necessary" for me may not be "necessary" for you - and likewise, what I find to be completely useless may end up being your lifesaver.

Here are some of my general tips about building your baby registry:

1. Don't bother registering for clothes. People are going to buy you plenty of clothes. I'm not quite 6 months along, and I already have 6 or 7 outfits that people have given me "just because". If there's something unusual or special you want or need that you probably won't get without asking (i.e., I considered registering for a Christening outfit but then decided against it), then by all means add it - but also keep in mind that you have no way of knowing exactly what size your baby is going to be so it may be best to wait until after he or she is born to buy something event-specific or one-of-a-kind any way.

2. Don't forget the simple stuff. Feel free to register for the essentials, like diapers, wipes, formula, toiletries, medicine - I even registered for batteries to run the many different toys and gadgets also on my registry. You're going to need lots of those kinds of things, especially early one, and the costs can really add up. Wouldn't it be nice to have, say, a three or four month supply of diapers already waiting for you when you bring your baby home?

3. Don't be afraid to register for "big ticket" items. I say this for two reasons. Aside from the fact that you might just have very generous (or very wealthy) loved ones, it's entirely possible that a group of your friends, family and/or co-workers may want to get together and buy you one big gift from "the gang", so go ahead and put the $300 jogger stroller on there and they might take up a collection. What have you got to lose? The worst that can happen is that no one buys it for you. Which brings me to the second reason to put it all on there regardless of the price: some retailers (I know Babies R Us is one of them) offer a "registry completion discount" when you buy many of the leftover items on your registry after your shower - so if you were going to buy it any way, put it in on the registry, see if you get it as a gift, and if not, you might just get a discount when you purchase it yourself later!

4. Think ahead. While it is obviously most important to cover the bases of what you'll need immediately when you arrive home from the hospital, your baby will grow out of many of the toys, clothes, and other items fairly quickly, and his needs and abilities will change as well. For instance, since your baby can't sit up on his own or eat solid foods when you first bring him home, you won't need things like a high chair or feeding utensils right away... but you will. Since your newborn obviously can't read or problem solve yet, you won't need wordy books or puzzles right away... but you will. If your baby is born in the summer, he won't need a winter coat or snowsuit right away... but he will. Don't go crazy with down-the-road items, but it's a good idea to include some things that will become useful as time goes on.

5. Think outside the nursery. These days, it's perfectly acceptable to register for some non-traditional but still very important items you may not have considered. Do you have a digital camera to snap photos of your baby when he or she arrives? Do you have sufficient memory or other useful accessories for that camera? Maybe you'd like a digital photo frame or a particular software program to help you display the many pictures of your little one. Also, see if your registry of choice offers the option to include gift cards - Target does, for example - so that indecisive or impatient shoppers can get you something that doesn't require much time or thought but that they know will be useful to you - and that will ensure you get something you can use, either now or later on.

6. If possible, try to develop your registry based on both internet research and in-store visits. You probably won't be able to see everything in person, but it definitely helps to see some of these items up close - online photos and descriptions can be unclear and/or misleading, especially in terms of things like size, color and texture. In-store displays of items like strollers allow you to not only view but try out the products - I changed my mind about which stroller I wanted after I had the opportunity to see a few different ones and push them around a bit. When making your store visit, use but be wary of the in-store registry associates. They can be a good source of information but remember that they do work for the store and therefore it is part of their job to sell you on as many items as possible, wbuch may ultimately include items you may not want or need.

7. Even with the tons of extensive research I did - scouring the product descriptions, reading customer reviews, checking out consumer reporting sites, looking over articles, flipping through magazines and guidebooks, making and re-making lists - the actual registry process itself was, at times, confusing and exhausting. There is just so much stuff out there, so many angles to consider, so many different colors and styles, tons of little details. It is definitely a project you will want to do in stages. Start your registry early enough that you can take your time, but not so early that the items you've selected will be unavailable or superseded by newer models when the time actually comes for people to access it. Sit down for a few hours at a time and tackle it little by little, maybe focusing on a different category each day.

Expect that you might change your mind on certain items, possibly many times. As I said, I've been on working on mine for months, and I could probably continue to work on it for a few more, but it's come to the point where I just have to say, it's finished and I'm not changing it again - my baby shower invitiations are going out this week, and once that happens, you pretty much have to leave the registry alone from then on so that people can go ahead and shop for you!

From the Mouths of Babes

2009-04-24T13:28:00.005-04:00

I believe that I have mentioned in previous posts (however briefly) that my fiance has a two-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. She spends every other weekend with us and she's hilarious. She's very bright and quite well-behaved - while she is definitely into her "terrible two" stage, even "terrible" for her isn't usually too bad. I won't ever go so far as to say that I consider her to be like my own daughter, but we definitely have a very obvious and mutual affection for one another. And her father adores her.

We have tried explaining to her as best we can that she is going to have a little brother. She seems to understand that somewhere in my belly, there is a baby. Whether or not she really gets the term "brother" is up for debate - while she occasionally uses the term, I tend to think that the true concept of that sort of relationship is beyond her grasp at this point. But the biggest thing she can't seem to understand is why she can't see the baby now. Allow me to recount what is quite possibly the cutest thing anyone has ever said to me.

While the three of us were lounging together in a Georgia hotel room this past weekend, the little guy was kicking around in there and I began to sort of rub my belly in response to his gymnastics.

My step-daughter noticed this, as she often does, and asked what I was doing. I told her that the baby was doing tricks in my belly. She proceeded to scoot over to me and lift up my shirt to look at my stomach. She glanced up at me inqusitively.

"Your baby brother is in there," I said, pointing to my belly.

"I wanna see!" she said, poking at my protruding belly button. "Open it up!"

I almost died laughing right there on our tacky hotel comforter.

"But the baby's not ready to come out yet," I finally replied. "He still has a lot of growing to do."

"I wanna hold him," she murmured.

Cue the melting of my heart.

"Well, when is all done growing and he decides to come out, Daddy and I will let you hold him."

Her whole face brightened up and she flashed this huge grin. "I can?"

Kids are incredible.

"Yes but you'll have to be very careful."

"Okay," she said, very serious-like.

And then she kissed my belly. Seriously, could she be any sweeter?

While this was a very logical, grown-up conversation, we were reminded later on that she is, indeed, still a very young child with a fuzzy understanding of the situation: the next time we talked about the baby, she informed me very matter-of-factly that it was actually Dora the Explorer in my belly, and that when Dora came out, she was going to play with her.

Oh, to be a kid again.

Recovering

2009-04-24T11:30:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to update since I haven't been around for a few days and there may actually be one or two people reading this thing.

The Georgia trip took a lot out of me (even more than I expected considering I pretty much didn't sleep at all during the 16+ hour drives there and back) and I've been catching up some much needed rest and some equally necessary chores. However, I am working on a number of posts that I intend to get up over the next couple of days - the first hopefully later this afternoon! :)

I Use the Term "Vacation" Loosely

2009-04-16T12:40:00.003-04:00

One of my co-workers noticed that I am scheduled to be out of the office tomorrow and Monday - I am listed on our interoffice Absentee List as taking two "Vacation Days", so naturally she asked me where I would be spending my "vacation".

*Snicker*

Well, let's see. I will be traveling, by mini-van, from Connecticut to Georgia, starting at around 6:30PM this evening. I will be making this fantastic voyage (sorry, Coolio) along with my fiance, his mother, my 2-year-old step-daughter and my 3-year-old step-niece.

I'll give you a momeny you reflect on that. Mother-in-law, two toddlers, mini-van, 15-hour drive, one hotel room.

We are making the trip to the land of peaches and southern belles for a wedding. My fiance's cousin's wedding. Whom I've never met. Whose entire family are conservative Southern Baptists.

I'm sure I'll fit right in.

Our agenda: we will arrive sometime Friday morning, check into our one hotel room, attend a rehearsal dinner with the good church folk, return to our one hotel room, sleep for a yet-to-be-determined number of hours, wake up Saturday to attend a wedding followed only by a small dessert reception (which means no dinner and no dancing, and no booze, not that I can drink any way but it sounds like everyone else could use something to loosen them up), return yet again to our one hotel room, break bread with the family one more time on Sunday before crawling back into the mini-van for the trip home, to return home on Monday.

And they still have the nerve to call them "vacation days".

Cute Nursery Idea of the Day

2009-04-14T14:24:00.010-04:00

POTD #147
Originally uploaded by Kacey3

Have a look at the whole album and just try and tell me this isn't the one of the cutest, most creative, most well-done nursery murals you've ever seen. I absolutely LOVE how everything appears at eye level and more or less "to scale" as if you were face to face with the animals.

The Name Game

2009-04-14T11:00:00.000-04:00

Like a lot of women, I've fantasized about the details of my future as a wife and mother since I was a little girl. What kind of wedding would I want, what would my husband be like, how many kids would we have. Many of us think about these things long before we are faced with the situations that require our actual decisions.

Sometimes what we think we might want when we are children or even as teenagers turns out to be different than we actually want when the time comes, and there are usually a good number of choices to be made that we had never even considered.

The nice thing about fantasies is that they can change and grow and evolve in your mind as often and for as long as you'd like, and you never have to pick just one. When the actual moment of truth is staring you in the face, when you have to pick apart the dreams and the musings of your youth, it can be very difficult to arrive at one definitive conclusion.

In my case, I can honestly say that picking a name for my child is one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.

It's not that I couldn't find plenty of names that I like. On the contrary, I have compiled a fairly extensive list over the years (which I will share with you in a future post). The problem is picking a first and middle name combination that a) sounds nice and flows well, both with each other and with his last name, b) is kind of unique and different but not too unique and different, and c) has what I call "positive nickname potential" - meaning that it provides for at least one or two good possible built-in nicknames, while at the same time offering few potentially embarrassing variations or other situations that could warrant ridicule from other children. Hey, this kid is going to have live with this name at least through his high school years (until he's old enough to legally change it, if he so chooses), and kids can be brutal. They will find plenty of ways to give each other a hard time, I don't want to give them extra ammunition by giving him a crappy name.

At the moment, we have reached a bit of a stand still. We have picked a first name that we are pretty definite about, but the middle name is giving us problems. My fiance and I have literally spent entire 45 minute car rides just saying names out loud, hoping to come across one that really "wow's" us. I am so desperate, in fact, that I have now posted a poll on my Facebook page listing all the possible middle name choices to let my family and friends vote on their favorites, in the hopes that their influence will at least help us narrow it down to a few. I will probably let the poll run until the end of April and see what we come up with.

I realize that technically this decisions does not have to be made until the baby is born, but for various reasons I would like to get a name picked sooner rather than later. I hope to have this baby named in full no later than Memorial Day.

Of course, I will keep you updated!

Things Weren't Crazy Enough...

2009-04-13T13:37:00.001-04:00

Apparently, certain members of our household do not think that my upcoming addition to the family is going to be enough of a handful for their tastes, because in their infinite wisdom my parents went away for Easter and came back with a Norwich Terrier puppy.

Granted, he's cute, but did they really think this through?

Let's review: our household currently consists of my mother and step-father, my fiance and myself, my younger brother (and his girlfriend who doesn't technically live there but might as freakin' well) and, every other weekend, my 2-year-old step-daughter. We have now added a small, furry, untrained, ankle-biting firecracker to that equation, knowing that we are also expecting a newborn at the end of the summer.

Holy hell.

Old Wives Tell Many Tales

2009-04-08T09:25:00.014-04:00

Before I knew the sex of my baby, I already had a feeling that it was a boy. In fact, from almost the very beginning I had a tendency to use "he" when talking about him and had focused my name search and nursery ideas in a more male-oriented direction. Of course, I left open the possiblity that my "feeling" might be more subconscious wishful thinking than true intuition. As it turns out, I was right all along, but that doesn't necessarily prove that it was motherly instincts at work - after all, I had a 50/50 shot of being right either way.

Before I actually knew for sure we were having a boy, since my gut feeling was not exactly a reliable indicator, I went searching online to see if there were any signs that might hint at my baby's gender. I was totally amazed at how many old wives' tales are out there that supposedly help predict whether you're having a boy or a girl!

Once I found out I was having a boy, I was curious how many of these stories held true, so I went back and compared the tales to the truth, as it applies to me.

Tale #1 - If you experienced little or no morning sickness in early pregnancy, you are having a boy.

✔ True - I had very little morning sickness - there were a few weeks very early on where I felt nauseous on and off for most of the day and certain odors were extremely offensive, but it never led to vomiting or anything of that nature and it only lasted a short while. I was actually surprised at how uneventful the earlier months were in that regard.

Tale #2 - If the fetal heart rate is below 140, you are having a boy.

X False - My baby's fetal heart rate has always been above 150. At my last appointment, it was 154.

Tale #3 - If you're carrying low, you're having a boy.

X False... I think - I'm not really sure what is considered "carrying low" vs. "carrying high", and it's possible that my belly just isn't big enough yet to really see a difference, but it seems that most of the weight gain is occurring at or above my waist and not hanging down at all. If that what it means to carry high, then this one is false.

Tale #4 - If you are carrying the extra weight out front (as opposed to on the sides, around the hips and in your butt), you are having a boy.

✔ True - Everyone says that from behind I don't even look pregnant because you can't see any extra weight unless you get a profile view of my stomach. That's where all my weight is, at least for now.

Tale #5 - If your belly looks like a basketball (small and round) and opposed to a watermelon (wider and more of an oval shape, I guess), you are having a boy.

✔ True - My belly is definitely in a more compact little ball shape with all the weight concentrated to a small area sticking out right in front rather than spread wide across the length of my body.

Tale #6 - If your cravings lean more towards the salty or sour versus the sweet, you are having a boy.

✔ True - I normally have a wicked sweet tooth, but throughout this pregnancy I have actually been turned off by many of the confections I used to totally love. While I've definitely gone on a few urgent ice cream runs, my snacking these days is more likely to consist of things like salt and vinegar potato chips, Sour Patch Kids, beef jerky, or Cheez It's. And for the first couple of months, I drank almost exclusively lemonade - it was borderline obsessive.

Tale #7 - If your feet are colder during your pregnancy than before your pregnancy, you are having a boy,

X False - I haven't noticed any change in my feet at all, temperature or otherwise.

Tale #8 - If the hair on your legs is growing faster during pregnancy than it did before you were pregnant, you are having a boy.

X False - Hair growth seems to be the same, as far as I can tell.

Tale #9 - If you sleep in a bed with your pillow facing north, you are having a boy.

? Huh? - To be honest, I have absolutely no idea which way my pillow faces. Not someting I've ever had to think about. Maybe I'll investigate and get back to you. But probably not.

Tale #10 - If the father-to-be is gaining weight along with you, you are having a boy.

X False - I actually think my fiance may have lost a couple of pounds since I've been pregnant.

Tale #11 - If your urine is bright yellow in color, you are having a boy.

X False... I think - To be fair, I don't typically survey the toilet after I pee to see what color my urine is, but I haven't noticed any neon colors catching my eye so I'm going with false on this one.

Tale #12 - If you hang a needle on a thread over your belly (or your wedding ring on a chain, apparently) and it moves in circles, you are having a boy.

X False - Okay, this is so ridiculous that I had to try it just for kicks. For the record, it swings side-to-side rather than in circles, which, according to the old wives' tale, would indicate a girl. I would love to know where this came from, and I may research it later.

Tale #13 - If you are having frequent headaches during your pregnancy, you are having a boy.

✔ X True and False - I had really nasty headaches in my second and third months of pregnancy, but since entering my second trimester I've been almost completely headache-free. So depending on which stage of pregnancy you consider, this one could be considered both true and false.

Tale #14 - If you add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month in which you conceived, if the sum is an even number you are having boy.

✔ True - I was 25 when I conceived, and I conceived in the 11th month (November), which gives me a total of 36. So yeah, it's even. I think this is a Chinese numerology thing. I believe the Mayans have a similar system.

Tale #15 - If you are looking better than ever during your pregnancy, you are having a boy.

✔ Actually, True - Sure, I have my days - nausea and sleep deprivation aren't great for the complexion - but overall I would say (and have been told) that I look incredible for being 5 months pregnant. I've had people ask if I had my hair done (which I haven't in far too long) because it looks so healthy and shiny and the color looks so rich. One woman even told me I looked "radiant", which gave me a good chuckle.

I heard that the theory behind this particular tale is that girls steal their mother's good looks, so if you're lookin' good you must not be having a girl. I would love to hear what mommies of little girls would say about that. Too funny.

Tale #16 - If you have no problem eating the heel of a loaf of bread, you are having a boy.

X Wtf?!?! - To answer the question, I never eat the heel of a loaf of bed, so that would make this false, but really, it's not even worth answering. Seriously, what's up with this?

There are probably many many more out there - if you're interested, you can always count on a good ol' Google search to dig up the absurd and obscure.

So my final tally is 6 True and 8 False. Not exactly definitive evidence either way, but you can see there is very little science behind these old wives' tales to begin with.

My conclusion: while it might be fun to reference these myths and try to guess your baby's gender, I wouldn't go painting the nursery blue just because you call dibs on the crusty end piece of a loaf of bread. Enough said.

Ultrasound: Take Two

2009-04-06T13:12:00.005-04:00

Today I had my follow-up ultrasound to double check a few of the things they saw (or didn't see) the first time around. I am happy to report that everything looks fine. The chorioplexus cyst that showed up on the first ultrasound is already gone (if it was ever there - the doctors I met with today did not sound super confident that there was actually a cyst in the first place), the heart is good, all the extremities are good, the organs are good... and yep, definitely a boy!

Glad the doctor wanted to be thorough - and I'll always take an opportunity to have a peek at the little one, so no complaints! :)

Cute Nursery Idea of the Day

2009-04-03T13:13:00.018-04:00

birds
Originally uploaded by Little Starling Photography by Lauri

The photographer featured above has an album devoted to her son's nursery, which she designed herself. In the series, she explains how a children's book inspired her to scatter birds in different places throughout the room to, as she says, "witness the story of his life". Here is one example of how she incorporated the birds to decorate an otherwise empty wall.

Simple and soooo cute!

Check out the rest of the album here!

Spending for Baby: Tips & Tricks

2009-04-01T12:08:00.012-04:00

No matter how you slice it, having a child is an expensive endeavor. In my post The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Part II, I listed some of the expenses you can expect to encounter along the way. Since I myself am not independently wealthy, I have been looking for ways to save a little money (and a little sanity) whenever possible. Here are my tips & tricks for easing the crunch and easing your mind.

1. BE INFORMED!

Knowing is half the battle, right? There are so many products on the market today for babies and new moms, so many different brands and styles and sizes, meant for different uses and purposes. It can be extremely confusing and overwhelming walking into a Babies R Us for the first time and seeing aisle after aisle of product to choose from. If you go in blind, chances are good you're going to make some unecessary, overpriced, wasteful purchases.

So, do your research. One helpful resource is a guidebook. These books give you product reviews and bargain hunting tricks, offer comparisons of brands and models, point out what to look for when buying key items, and help you distinguish between what you may want and what you need. Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on Baby Furniture, Gear, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear and Much, Much More! comes very highly recommended (and, considering it's currently in its 8th edition, it seems to have been successful for some time).

The internet can be another great resource as long as you're thorough. The good thing about a book is that the author has already weeded through a lot of the available information and combined that with his or her own experience to give you what they believe are the best recommendations available. The internet has no such filter. You will finds all sorts of information and disinformation, some of it useful and some of it not. To guard against this, don't take one person's word for it - make sure you look in more than one place. The more sites you find echoing the same suggestion or recommendation, the more you can rely on that piece of advice.

Manufacturer's websites are good for looking at the available products, models, prices, and product details, but they typically do not provide the whole story. You're likely to find a lot of "pro's" and not a lot of "con's". You'll want to read product reviews and recommendations from people who have actually bought and used the product to see if there are any drawbacks or issues with the products.

For example, while shopping for a crib for the nursery, I came across one the looked really nice and seemed to have all the features I was looking for - and was moderately priced to boot. I even went and saw a floor model of the crib in person and everything looked good. When I got back home, I went online to read customer's reviews about the crib. It turns out that more than half of the reviewers complained that the dropside stopped working after only a couple months of use, and that the company did not currently offer a fix for the problem. Needless to say, I decided not to purchase that particular crib.

Look at the specifics of each item's intended use, purpose and age group. Certain products are made for newborns up to 6 months, others for babies 6-12 months, and so on. You don't want to buy too many for one age group and not enough for another, thinking they're all the same. One thing I didn't know before reading the fine print is that different bottle nipples produce a different "flow", each of which has a different purpose and is meant for different ages. If I hadn't been paying attention to the details, I would likely have bought nipples that my newborn couldn't even use.

Definitely check for product recalls before you buy. The US Consumer Product Safety Commission website has a looooong list of the most recent recalls.

You also need to be able to discern between what is really necessary, what might be helpful but not necessary, what is completely optional, and what is just plain useless. There are chapters in the guidebooks and sites online that will help you with that, but the ultimate purchases are up to you. Do you really need a video baby monitor so you can see your sleeping baby at all times? Do you really need a changing table or do you have a nice sturdy dresser whose top you could convert into a changing area? Do you really need a machine that warms up the babies wipes for you? Do the scented diaper pails really work or are they more hype than help? Are walkers really advisable from a safety perspective? There are articles and information out there about all of these things and more to help you decide if they're actually purchases you need (or even want) to make.

Also, are there things you may want later on but don't need right away - purchases that you can maybe put off so you don't break the bank all at once. Obviously, your newborn won't need a high chair immediately, for instance, or sneakers, or wordy books. Consider spending only what you need to now and save the rest for later.

Finally, ask other parents. There is no greater resource than the people who have been there before you. What kinds of items did other parents totally love? Which ones did they hate? Did they buy or receive things that they never ended up using? Is there an item they just couldn't live without? Can they recommend a particular brand that they really trust? Just like the online customer reviews, getting feedback from actual parents who have used the products will be invaluable.

2. BE THRIFTY!

This is my favorite category because it's sort of like a treasure hunt. If you had endless resources and a bottomless bank account, you could easily walk into any baby superstore and walk out with everything you could ever need or want for baby, all shiny brand new, with little time and even less effort. Hell, you could pay someone to do your shopping for you and not even have to be involved! But since most of us have yet to hit the lottery, it pays to know where and how to find gently used items for a fraction of the cost, as well as how to save some money when we do have to buy brand new.

Don't be afraid to accept good condition hand-me-downs. As long as they are clean and still in good shape (and safe, of course), baby won't know the difference, so what's the big deal? Baby stuff takes up a lot of room, so often parents of older children are dying to get rid of their old baby stuff. Clothes, toys, swings, activity mats, playards, stationary entertainers, diaper bags, crib linens - again, as long as they're all in good condition, no missing parts, no questionable safety concerns, they're all just as good as the brand new stuff.

Check out consignment stores and garage sales. I found some great maternity clothes at a consignment store just a few exits from my house - I got 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants there for $50, all brand name! And the great thing about consignment stores is that product cycles in and out of there frequently, so you can go back a couple weeks later and find all new stuff! It's not quite tag sale season around here yet, but we're getting close and I can't wait to spend a lazy Sunday driving around and checking out the bargains I can find on toys, books and clothes for the little one. Also check out uaction sites like Ebay, or local classified-style listings like Craigslist and Freecycle, where you can find a large variety of used items that people are either selling or giving away.

One thing you probably should not buy used is your baby's crib. For one thing, safety standards for cribs have changed dramatically over the years and there are recalls happening all the time.

Of course, you can't buy everything used. So when you do buy new items from a store, make sure you:

- Keep your receipts. You may purchase something that turns out to be the wrong size, be impractical, not quite serve its intended purpose, or whatever - and you always want to the option to return or exchange it if that turns out to be the case.

- Price compare. Don't just buy the first one you see of anything - you might be able to find it a couple bucks cheaper, or on sale, at another location.

- Use coupons for in-store shopping and coupon codes for online shopping. Check weekly circulars for in-store savings and clip coupons in your weekend paper. There are online sites where you can print coupons and even get free samples.

When I'm doing any online shopping, I never check-out before I search the web for any availble coupon codes that may be out there. If you've done a fair amount of online shopping, you've probably seen the field on the check-out screen where it asks for a "Coupon Code" or "Promotional Code", something along those lines. There are websites where people list codes for others to use, either for a percentage off your order or free shipping or some other money-saving deal. I usually just Google the store I'm shopping at followed by "coupon codes" - so if I was buying something from Target.com, I would do a Google search for "Target coupon codes" and I would get a list of sites that have codes for that store. Not all of them will be relevant to your order, some of them will be expire, and some may just not work, but it's worth looking and taking a shot.

- Shop at discount stores like Target and Walmart, or check out outlet stores. I found some cute maternity clothes at Target for fairly cheap - of everything I bought there, my big "splurge" was a $30 pair of gray maternity dress pants for work made of this great lightweight material that fit like a dream and are so comfy. I also found a lot of cute things on sale at the nearby Motherhood outlet.

- Shop the sales. I always check the sale racks first whenever I go shopping, and I often check the weekly circulars to see if there might be anything on sale that I know we need or will need in the near future. Sometimes if I know ahead of time I'm going to need something in the upcoming months, I'll try to wait and find it on sale instead of buying it right away. I know a few people who do a lot of their Christmas shopping for the following year at after-Christmas sales. Don't buy things you won't really use or don't really like just because they're on sale, but if you're in the market for something you should try to take advantage of sale prices whenever possible.

- Buy out-of-season. If you buy a winter coat in June, it's going to be cheaper than if you were to buy it in December. A lot of clearance and sale items you find will be last season's styles. Just make sure you plan ahead in regards to sizes and age appropriateness.

- Buy in bulk. There are some things that you just know you are going needs lots of - diapers, wipes, formula, whatever it is. It's cheaper to buy those items in large quantities all at once than to buy a pack here and a pack there. Wholesale warehouses like BJ's and Sam's Club are great for stocking up on frequently used items, especially for larger households.

- Save your change. This might not sound like a big deal, but this little coins can really add up. You're not going to become a millionaire by throwing your unused pennies in a jar, but you could save up enough to buy a new toy, a DVD, a tank of gas, or even a nice dinner out for mom and dad!

3. BE CREATIVE!

Are you crafty? Can you sew, knit, cook, draw, paint? Homemade goods are definitely a cheap alternative to store-bought products, are more personal, and can often be better quality. Instead of buying expensive framed prints for baby's walls, paint something yourself! Instead of buying designer baby booties that he'll outgrow in a few months, take some time to knit a pair! Instead of buying expensive jarred baby food, buy some fresh fruits and vegetables or save your leftovers and make your own! There are food processors out there specifically for making your own baby food, and some parents swear by it, not only because it's cost-friendly, but because of the nutritious benefits as well.

A friend of the family recently had a little boy, and her mother came up with a great idea for wall-hangings in the baby's room: she went out and bought a copy of the mom's favorite from when she was a kid and cut out some of the illustrations and framed them. She not only created something cute and inexpensive for baby's room, but it has special significance to mom and grandma, too.

Another tip: recycle. Do you have an old dresser in the attic that's still in good shape but could use a new coat of paint? Roll up your sleeves, break out the sandpaper and and a paintbrush and voila! A new dresser for the nursery! No need to spend hundreds of dollars on a brand new piece of furniture. You can even buy some cute drawer knobs and drawer liners, or add stenciling, to really make it nursery-friendly and make it look like you spent a pretty penny at the furniture store. Got a plain old lamp that you're not really using? Paint the buy in fun, bold colors, pick up a new lamp shade in a cute pattern that matches the rest of the nursery, maybe add some polka dots or sparkles, whatever works for you - and now you've got a new lamp for the baby's room! You don't have to be artfully-inclined to do simple projects like these. Taking things you already have and making little changes or improvements can save you a ton of money over buying the same items brand new - and it might help you clear out some space in your attic!

4. BE REALISTIC!

- Sit down with your partner and really bang out your budget so you have a clear picture of what you have to work with.
- Recognize that there will be a few necessary splurges along the way. Plan for them.
- Accept your financial limitations and set boundaries.
- Know when to ask for help if you need it.
- Learn to say no. You're not going to be get everything you or your children might want, so do what you can, compromise when possible, and try not to stress about it.
- Don't waste your time worrying about what others think or what others have. If the mom next door has her nursery decked out in the most expensive designer brands sporting all the bells and whistles, so what. That is obviously more for her than for her baby, since he won't know the differnce in the slightest and probably won't even use half the stuff she packed the room with.

One final tip: if you know that you will be having a baby shower, it might be a good idea to wait until afterwards to go on a spending spree - chances are you'll get a lot of the items you want and need as gifts without having to spend a dime!

~*~

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Part II

2009-03-31T14:10:00.010-04:00

So, Part I was about the physical and emotional ups and downs that can accompany pregnancy - all the stuff that typically comes to mind when you think of the not-so-glamorous side of pending motherhood. But aside from the bloating and the bleeding gums and the unexplained crying, there are things going on outside your body that can prove frustrating as well.

One of the major things that people don't think about as often is the lifestyle change that often has to occur once a couple finds out they're pregnant - some of which affect more people than just the mommy-to-be. Your doctor will be happy to give you a long list of "no-no's" - activities, foods, medications, and other things to avoid while your bun is still in the oven.

In certain cases, there are varying opinions about what is safe and what isn't. One of the most hotly contested concerns right now is alcohol. Now, you won't find any medical professionals who will tell you that you are free to drink as much alcohol as often as you'd like. However, while many experts insist that expectant mothers should abstain for alcohol consumption completely, there is a growing number who suggest that small, occasional indulgence in low alcohol content beverages (mainly, wine) is fine under most circumstances. I even read about a study conducted overseas that claims that as much as one or two glasses of red wine a week may actually be beneficial to a growing male fetus (read an article about the study here). I have personally known several women who had the occasional glass of wine (and by "occasional" I mean maybe two or three glasses a month, at most) while in their second and third trimesters, and whose doctors had told them it was okay to do so, and none of them had any known problems.

Despite the conflicting reports, many women understandably prefer to air on the side of caution and stop drinking altogether. This is an easier choice for some than for others. Many women are used to enjoying that glass of wine with dinner or frequently attend social events where alcohol is being served. Some women like to have a drink when they go out to dinner or when they entertain in their home, viewing it as a special treat to go along with a special occasion. Other women may be accustomed to drinking regularly or on the weekends. No matter how frequently or infrequently you are used to indulging, the knowledge that you can't even if you want to may make some feel like they are missing out.

Along these same lines is something many women feel they need to start off their day: coffee. Obviously, the concern about coffee is the possible effects of caffeine on the baby. This is another area of debate in the scientific and medical communities. The general consensus seems to be that you probably don't have to swear off coffee altogether, but you should keep consumption to a minimum or, at the very least, cut back. The March of Dimes (which describes itself as "the leading organization for pregnancy and baby health) issued a recommendation that pregnant women consume no more than 200 mg of caffeine a day, which is about the equivalent of one 12-ounce cup of coffee. This recommendation was based on a study published in 2008 that found that women who consumed more than that amount had a higher risk of miscarriage. Click here to link to the March of Dimes article about caffeine use during pregnancy. Since caffeine is not only found in coffee, the site also provides a chart giving the approximate caffeine content of certain foods and beverages, and information about some medicines and herbal remedies that may also contain caffeine. Here is another link to information about caffeine consumption during pregnancy, which also includes a similar but slightly more inclusive list of the caffeine levels of some foods and beverages.

Perhaps the most difficult lifestyle vice to give up for pregnant mothers is smoking. I don't think I really need to tell you all in the ways in which smoking can effect your unborn baby (not to mention how it can harm mommy, too), but in case you need a refresher course, here are some people who are happy to remind you:

March of Dimes
American Lung Association
American Pregnancy Association
Department of Health and Human Services Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
American Heart Association
Hell, even Philip-freakin'-Morris says you should cut the shit!

This is one of those lifestyle changes that your partner should join you in making, both for your sake and the sake of your children. For starters, having a partner who continues to smoke while you are trying to kick the habit makes quitting that much harder. You are far more likely to find success in quitting if you don't have to watch your partner lighting up or you can't bum a cigarette off of him when the craving strikes you. Also, the dangers of second hand smoke should not be underestimated, during your pregnancy and beyond.

While we're on the subject of that "beyond" factor, in addition to the effects smoking has on the health of your unborn baby, and the effects that secondhand smoke can have on your children after they're born, please do not ignore the effect that smoking has on you and how that could potentially effect your children in the future. My father was 45 when he died of a heart attack. I was 11 years old. While his frequent smoking was not the only factor that led to his death, it was definitely one of the major contributors.

And if that's not motivation enough, maybe you'd simply like to save that $5 a pack to put towards diapers, wipes, toys, food and formula for your baby - or leisure time for mom and dad. Forbes did the math, and depending on your state and how much you personally smoke, you could save an average of $200 to $500 a year just in the cost of buying cigarettes if you quit smoking - that doesn't include the cost of gas to go buy the cigarettes, health care costs associated with smoking, higher insurance premiums, etc. And the price of cigarettes is likely to increase.

All this talk about money brings me to another lifestyle change that many parents and couples find they must make when expecting a new member of their family - the financial kind. Having a baby is expensive, from beginning to end. Here is a list of some of the many new expenses you could incur thanks to your coming bundle of joy:

In the beginning...

- Prenatal vitamins
- Co-pays and other fees related your many doctor's visits
- Time off from work, also related to frequent trips to your doctor
- Maternity clothes
- All the get-ready-for-baby gear (assuming you have to buy these things and don't have hand-me-downs or receive them as gifts): crib, crib mattress, crib bedding, changing table, changing table pad, changing table cover, bassinet, bassinet bedding, other nursery furniture, mobile, baby monitor, car seat, stroller, clothes, toys, pacifiers, teethers, bibs, burp cloths, bath time supplies, first-aid, books, CDs, DVDs, hangers, storage bins, diaper bag, bottles, activity mat, swing, entertainer, bouncer, high chair, etc.
- Breast pump, nursing pillow and other accessories if you are breastfeeding; formula, if you are not (or maybe even if you are, if you choose to supplement)
- Diapers and wipes
- Toiletries, medicines and grooming supplies
- Nursery renovations
- Health insurance for baby
- Co-pays and other fees related to your baby's many doctor's visits
- Maternity leave, sometimes with reduced or no pay
- Childcare

And as they get older...

- Childproofing
- Sippy cups, utensils, plates and bowls, etc.
- Food, clothes and medical care throughout the years
- Birthday parties, Christmas gifts, etc.
- New furniture as your child outgrows the nursery set-up
- School supplies
- Fees for participation in various sports and activities
- College savings/tuition

Just looking at the list is even making me a bit dizzy. Unfortunately, the majority parents are not in a position where the cost of raising a child is of no concern to them. Most have to budget, save and plan for these extensive costs. This may require any number of strategies, including giving up or scaling back on certain luxuries, taking on extra work or longer hours, reorganizing investments and savings, selling or putting off the purchase of certain items, altering long term spending plans and goals, cutting back costs by changing service providers or eliminating services altogether, refinancing debt, skipping a vacation or other pricey event, accepting help from family members, taking out a personal loan or second mortgage, postponing home renovations and other costly projects, dipping into retirement funds, or simply becoming more frugal with spending habits. This process can range from annoying to stressful to depressing to seemingly impossible, depending on your circumstances.

I am currently working on compiling a list of money-saving tips to help alleviate some of the pressure of new baby budgeting - so check back for that soon!

~*~

We Have a Penis!

2009-03-30T16:16:00.014-04:00

Yes, on Thursday we got to see ultrasound "footage" of our active little baby BOY!

My fiance was in the room with me when we got the news. He'll tell you himself that he's never been to so happy to see someone else's penis.

When the ultrasound tech first sat down with us, she asked if we wanted to know the sex. We both eagerly said yes, so she went right for it and had a look in that area first. Initially, she said it was sort of hard to tell from the position the baby was in, so she would go and have a look at a few other things and then try back. I was bummed because I thought we weren't going to be able to see and we'd have to wait even longer.

The ultrasound tech looked at the baby's heart, which I could see pumping away furiously. Very cool and very strange. You could see the differnt chambers and everything. Pretty incredible.

We could also see the spine very clearly - it looked like it was lit up like a string of Christmas lights. Again, awesome but weird.

As she studied the different parts, there were a few times when I could swear I saw a little something between the legs. Every time she'd go back to the area, I'd catch a glimpse, but half the time I had no idea what I was looking at so I couldn't be sure what it was I was actually seeing.

When she went back down to focus on the genital area again, I could see that at first the legs were crossed and he was moving around a lot. Again, it looked like he wasn't gonna give up the goods. But then his little legs parted like the Red Sea and it was clear - definitely something in between. She froze the shot for a second and zoomed in.

"Well, you want my guess?" she said.

Duh.

"I'd say it's a boy."

I could almost hear my fiance getting excited, but he wasn't ready to break out the cigars quite yet. He asked how sure she was, so she went back for another look. The second shot was pretty unmistakable.

"I'd say we definitely have a penis."

My fiance was out the door before I could even see the look on his face. By the time the ultrasound tech finished with me, he had texted pretty much everyone we know. I could hear my cell phone buzzing in my purse a few feet away with all the messages I was receiving about the good news.

After he left, the little guy gave us one more wide open money shot. The word she used to describe it this time was "prominent". Oh, the fiance was going to have a good time with that one.

As she finished up, the tech showed me that there is a small cyst in the baby's chorioplexus (part of the brain), which she said is very common and usually resolves itself before the baby is even born. Still, she would let my doctor know in case she wanted to have it looked into further. Also, because the baby was facing mostly towards my back during the ultrasound, she hadn't been able to get a good look at his mouth and nose - just a brief profile. Again, not something to be concerned about, she said.

She turned on the lights, wiped the goo off my belly and left me to wait for the doctor.

The doctor came in and repeated mostly what the ultrasound tech had said about the cyst, that it was not cause for concern. However, she did say that because there was more than one thing that had come up on the ultrasound (the cyst and the inability to see the face) that they usually like to follow that up with a level 2 ultrasound at the hospital, just in case. She stressed that she was not at all worried, everything else looked great and it was simply in the interest of being thorough. I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy, though. We scheduled with the hospital for April 6 and I left to enjoy the rest of my day off.

Of course, the first thing I did when I got home was look up chorioplexus cysts. Just as I had been told, they're pretty common and usually disppear on their own, though they can be a marker for Downs Syndrome and/or Trisomy 18. However, every story I read from other parents who encountered this on an ultrasound had also been told that it was probably not an issue, and in the end, met with positive results - the cyst went away as expected and the children were born perfectly healthy. A few people reported that their doctors did express some concern, but in those cases the concern was due to either a) the age of the mother, or b) the size and/or number of cysts. The older the mother is, the more cysts there are and the larger they are, the more their presence is worrisome. I'm only 26 and thankfully we only have one small cyst, so even though it's in the back of my mind I'm feeling okay about it. My fiance is not the littlest but concerned about it, but that's typical for him. We'll see what the ultrasound turns up next week.

Within three hours of hearing the news, my mother had already bought him an outfit, people were already asking about names and my fiance was still sporting a big goofy grin.

This little boy doesn't know what he's about to get into.

~*~

Tomorrow's the Day!

2009-03-25T10:30:00.009-04:00

Oh boy (or oh girl)! Tomorrow is my ultrasound appointment where we're supposed to find out the sex of the baby and I'm so excited. I just hope the little one cooperates because I don't think I can wait any longer! This is no time for modesty, sweetie - show us what you've got (or don't got)!

I had never even considered the possibility that we may go to the appointment and leave without knowing until a co-worker of mine who is just a few weeks further along than I am recently had her ultrasound. She told me that due to the fetal positioning they were unable to make a certain determination on the baby's gender. Basically, the baby kept moving around into awkward positions and wouldn't give them a clear shot of the genitals. The ultrasound tech said she was fairly confident the baby is a girl, but not positive. They told her she would have to wait 3 more months before they could do another one!

I looked into it and it's definitely more common than I would have guessed. In some cases the baby is just moving too much to get a clear look, and in other cases the baby is actually asleep in a cross-legged position so that the genitals are hidden from view.

I keep joking that if the baby doesn't want to show us the goods tomorrow, he or she is grounded until he or she is seven months old.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Part I

2009-03-24T13:04:00.024-04:00

I often try to focus on the lighter, happier side of things, but the truth is that as exciting and wonderful as pregnancy can be, there are some not-so-fun aspects that many women experience as well. At times, pregnancy has the potential to be downright miserable. Between the hormones, the range of emotions, the physical symptoms, the financial responsibility, the planning, the lifestyle changes - there is so much going on that a first-time mom has probably never experienced before. Any one of these things is enough to increase stress levels in the average person - imagine dealing with them all at once!

In this first post, I will talk about the most obvious and most talked about pregnancy challenges: the emotional and physical aspects.

Pregnancy can definitely be an emotional roller coaster. For those who were actively trying to get pregnant, you may have already taken steps to prepare yourself (mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.) and therefore might find the transition easier. For those who were surprised by the appearance of that second pink line, it may take some time to get over the initial shock and fully accept and understand the situation. Or, maybe not. Everyone is different. There is a wide range of emotional states that one might find herself at different times during her pregnancy. Off the top of my head:

Excitement
Fear
Joy
Anxiety
Worry
Uncertainty
Pride
Exhilaration
Depression
Sadness
Exhaustion
Anticipation
Doubt
Anger
Curiosity
Awe
Amazement
Loneliness
Self-consciousness
Frustration
Happiness
Confidence
Confusion
Adoration
Sensitivity
Serenity
Irritability
Hopefulness
Distraction
Disappointment
Elation

And this is by no means an all-inclusive list! Pregnant women may feel any combination of these and other complex emotions throughout their pregnancy as they deal with the present and wonder about the future.

In my case, I feel like the fact that I'm going to be a mother didn't really sink in until about my third month. I hadn't really stopped to think about the gravity of it all. Since then, I have felt, at times, a bit overwhelmed by the realization that I am bringing a person into this world whose life will be shaped by the environment I create for him or her. I have a hard time even wrapping my mind around such a huge responsibility. This, in turn, leads me to worry that somehow I won't live up to that responsibility, which then generates a certain amount of fear. So while I am feeling very excited and happy to be having this baby, there also exists a small but constant cloud of uncertainty and doubt.

On the other hand, being pregnant has had another interesting affect on me, something I never expected but has become one of my favorite parts of this whole experience: there are times when I feel very childlike and vibrant and full of life! It's hard to explain, but it feels as if a whole new world has opened in front of me. There comes a certain point in your life (or at least there did in my life, I don't presume to speak for you) where you're past all the big "milestones" of childhood and adolescence, when you've sort of succumbed to the daily grind and life can tend to seem very... average. But being pregnant is anything but average! There are so many new things to learn and see and experience. Each day brings something new and you never know what to expect. There is life growing inside you and the true miracle of that, once you really stop and consider it, is both humbling and awe-inspiring.

So you can see how the vast array of thoughts and emotions firing around in that pregnant brain of yours can be both a blessing and a curse. And because of the craziness going on with your hormones, you may feel things sometimes that even you can't explain!

Now add to this equation the physical symptoms. Not all women experience the same pregnancy symptoms, but there are some pretty common ones: nausea and/or vomiting (so-called "morning sickness"), fatigue, swollen and tender breasts, widening and darkening of the areolas, frequent urination, headaches, backaches, heartburn, food cravings and/or food aversions, lightheadedness and/or shortness of breath, bloating, heightened/sensitive sense of smell, cramps, elevated body temperature, etc. Also, because of the various changes in body chemistry, many women have tooth and gum issues, skin complaints, dry or itchy eyes, flatulence, constipation, hemorrhoids and other uncomfortable and potentially embarrassing issues during pregnancy. Again, every woman and every pregnancy is different, so each mother-to-be may experience one, many or all of these, and even different combinations of symptoms in each subsequent pregnancy.

There is one thing that you can be pretty certain all pregnant women will experience at some point: weight gain. Whether it's four pounds or forty, any pregnancy is going to eventually require that the mother add a little extra bulk to her belly. Watching your body transform in this way can be a disheartening event for some. I've been pretty much the same size since high school, give or take a few pounds here and there. But I've always been petite and thin (with the exception of my big butt... my stand-out feature, by all accounts) - I'm 5'4" and my pre-pregnancy weight was around 113. Suddenly, I can't fit into any of my clothes and my flat tummy is nowhere to be found! So not only am I watching my cute little body become engulfed by this fat girl I don't recognize, I'm popping out of clothes that don't fit or wearing scrubby sweatpants just to feel comfortable, neither of which exactly screams "sexy". The one bright side: my formerly A-borderline-B-cup boobs are now overflowing in my B cup bras that were once just a little too big. Dare I say I may be ready for a C cup soon! But thoughts of post-pregnancy flubber, vericose veins and stretch marks are always in the back of my mind. Just another concern to add to the list, which for some is already quite extensive.

A quick side note about stretch marks: from the research I've done and the experts I've consulted, the consensus seems to be there is no real way to prevent stretch marks. The one suggestion that appears to make some difference is to avoid gaining too much weight and avoid gaining it too quickly. Your doctor will give you an estimated weight gain range that you should shoot for based on your pre-pregnancy weight, height and body type (and whether or not you're having multiples, of course) - my doctor said I should gain about 28-37 pounds by the time all is said and done. Most of that weight will most likely come in the second and third trimesters, and a lot of it will occur naturally as your uterus expands, the placenta forms, the fetus develops, your breasts swell and your blood production increases. So although we perceive our growth as us getting "fat", really only a small percentage of your total weight gain should end up being actual fat.
Other than monitoring your weight gain, many researchers believe that stretch marks may be genetic - so if your mom got them, there could be a greater chance that you will too.

~*~

Quotes

2009-03-23T11:13:00.008-04:00

Sometimes it's difficult to put all the feelings about pregnancy and becoming a parent into words... thankfully, some people have already done it for you! Here are some of my favorite quotes about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting.

A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die.
-- Mary Mason

Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.
-- E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
-- Rita Rudner

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
-- Elizabeth Stone

There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it.
-- Chinese Proverb

Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever-fresh and radiant possibility.
-- Kate Douglas Wiggin

To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and undoubtedly inhabited.
-- Anne Buchanan & Debra Klingsporn

Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of Mother's Love.
-- Maureen Hawkins

Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity - a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother.
-- Rose Kennedy

The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
-- Jill Churchill

If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.
-- Bette Davis

We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching.
-- Roy L. Smith

There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it.
-- Irena Chalmers

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.
-- Hodding Carter, Jr.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
-- Erma Bombeck

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
-- Dennis Fakes

In pregnancy, there are two bodies, one inside the other. Two people live under one skin.... When so much of life is dedicated to maintaining our integrity as distinct beings, this bodily tandem is an uncanny fact.
-- Joan Raphael-Leff

Babies are such a nice way to start people.
-- Don Herrold

Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born.
-- George Bernard Shaw

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
-- Josh Billings

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.
-- Ed Asner

A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
-- Eda J. Le Shan

Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.
-- Joyce Armor

I'm not interested in being Wonder Woman in the delivery room. Give me drugs.
-- Madonna

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.
-- John Plomp

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.
-- William D. Tammeus

Pregnancy is a kind of miracle. Especially so in that it proves that a man and woman can conspire to force God to create a new soul.
-- Robert Anton Wilson

The only time a women wishes she was a year older is when she’s expecting a baby.
-- Mary Marsh

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg

Babies are always more trouble than you thought - and more wonderful.
-- Charles Osgood

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons

Your children need your presence more than your presents.
-- Jesse Jackson

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
-- Bill Cosby

If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.
-- Vincent van Gogh

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
-- Leo J. Burke

Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids.
-- Sam Levenson

Being a mother, as far as I can tell, is a constantly evolving process of adapting to the needs of your child while also changing and growing as a person in your own right.
-- Deborah Insel

Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.
-- Marshall McLuhan

A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men.
-- Martin Fraquhar Tupper

If a child is to keep his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.
-- Rachel Carlson

"Sometimes", said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
-- Winnie the Pooh

Every child begins the world again.
-- Henry David Thoreau

A woman can learn a lot from holding a new baby. It is life beginning again — sweet possibilities! No problem in the world is big enough to be remembered.
-- Susan McOmber

The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all.
-- Benjamin McLane Spock

A person soon learns how little he knows when a child begins to ask questions.
-- Richard L. Evans

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. You are connected to your child and to all those who touch your lives. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
-- Sophia Loren

When babies look beyond you and giggle, maybe they're seeing angels.
-- Eileen Elias Freeman

No one knows how children will turn out; a great tree often springs from a tender plant.
-- Norwegian proverb

The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven's lieutenants.
-- Shakespeare

The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.
-- Frank A. Clark

Don't demand respect as a parent. Demand civility and insist on honesty. But respect is something you must earn - with kids as well as with adults.
-- William Attwood

It was the tiniest thing I ever decided to put my whole life into.
-- Terri Guillemets

If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.
-- Lawrence Housman

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
-- Milton Berle

If your baby is beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time, you're the grandma.
-- Theresa Bloomingdale

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.
-- Harold Hulbert

It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
-- Joyce Maynard

I looked on childrearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully interesting and challenging as any honourable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring to it.
-- Rose Kennedy

There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.
-- Henry Ward Beecher

Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

The best thing to spend on your children is your time.
-- Louise Hart

~*~

Waiting... and waiting... and waiting...

2009-03-22T14:58:00.008-04:00

You know, for all the advice, warnings and stories I've heard over the years about what to expect when one day I find myself with a little bun in the oven, there is one thing that no one ever bothered to tell me about: THE WAITING. I feel like all I do these days is sit around and wait for something new to happen: waiting for the symptoms, waiting for the ultrasound, waiting to hear the heartbeat, waiting for the tummy to bulge, waiting to learn the sex... I'm only in my fourth month, but I feel like I've pregnant for the better part of a decade!

The time between doctor's appointments feels like years have gone by. I've started to show but there hasn't been much change in the past few weeks, so I'm sort of stuck in this awkward middle stage - I'm not quite ready for maternity clothes yet but my regular pants are definitely not cutting it anymore. I can't shop for nursery stuff until I know if it's a boy or a girl, and getting to that point seems to be taking the longest of all!

I'm not usually this impatient, I swear. I know it will only get worse as I grow bigger and get closer to my due date. And I'm sure this time next year I'll be saying how the months just flew by. But right now time just seems to c r a w l.

Pregnancy is like watching my favorite television show, except every episode is a season finale - some important stuff happens, I end up with a little information and a lot of unanswered questions, but I always have wait until next season to see how it all plays out.

Fun Ways to Share!

2009-03-20T15:29:00.024-04:00

Once you've told your inner circle of the most need-to-know people and you feel comfortable sharing your good news with... well, whoever will listen... you may be looking for some unique ways to display your new "mommy-to-be" status to the outside world.

Do you have a MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, or other social networking page? If so, there are tons of websites offering graphics, tickers, and widgets that let others know you are expecting and even keep them updated on your progress. Here are a few of my faves:

Pregnancy Tickers- A pregnancy ticker is a cute, customizable, self-updating graphic that conveys information about your pregnancy - usually how far along you are, how long until your due date, and sometimes details about your growing baby (size, weight, etc.) as your pregnancy progresses. There is one at the top of my page (courtesy of BabyGaga). You can also find some cute tickers at WiddlyTinks, Ticker Factory, and LilyPie, to name a few. Google "pregnancy ticker" and I'm sure you'll find more.

Graphics- There are a TON of sites offering pregnancy-themed graphics and layouts for MySpace and other networking sites. Whether this is your first or your fifth, whether you're due in June or January, whether you're expecting twins or octuplets, there is a graphic out there for you. Doing a google search for "pregnant graphics" will yield a ton of results you can weed through. Another resource I used a lot was Photobucket. You have the ability to search all the public albums in Photobucket, so type in various pregnancy-related search terms ("pregnant", "pregnancy", "expecting", "baby", etc.) and you will find graphics that other people liked, and you can save them right to your album for use on your page.

Below are a few of the graphics I've used.

Widgets- A widget is a tool, of sorts. In a way, a ticker is a type of widget, in that it serves as sort of a countdown to your due date. A ticker, however is, generally speaking, a very simple widget. Most pregnancy widgets will serve the same basic purpose: they keep track of your pregnancy progress and the time that has elapsed and/or remains until your due date. Here is one from WidgetBox.com that not only counts the days until you're due, it also features a seemingly in-utero fetus whose development follows the development of your own growing baby.
You could keep it humorous with a funny maternity t-shirt letting people you're not just fat or warning them of the consequences of touching your belly. Since I'm a firm believer in looking for the comedy in every situation and never taking myself too seriously, this sort of thing is right up my alley. Check out some of these beauties:

Birth Control is for Sissies
Does this baby make me look pregnant?
All I wanted was a Backrub
I can lose the weight. You can't lose the ugly.
We're 50% sure it's a boy.

And there's even some for dad!

Pickles and Ice Cream Fetcher
I got her pregnant!
My wife is pregnant and this is my sympathy belly.
He Shoots. He Scores.
Similar to what you'd find in the t-shirt category, there are bumper stickers and decals if you feel compelled to share your news with other drivers or people in parking lots. Zazzle and CafePress both have pretty interesting selections.
You can create your own baby website (usually for free, though you can often pay to receive "upgraded" features) on any number of sites that will allow you to post pictures, share stories and updates, post your registry, receive messages from visitors, etc. For example, with the standard free settings at TotSites.com, you can choose from over 50 design templates, you can upload photos and videos, keep a journal, create polls, give people access your gift registry, share fun facts about your pregnancy or your baby and invite guests to sign your guestbook. You have the option to upgrade to a Premium or Premium Plus account (for $4.95 and $5.95 a month, respectively) to increase your storage space and the number of photos you can upload, gain access to all the available templates, add music, and have an ad-free page.
Did you know there are pregnancy announcement cards? I sure didn't! Have a look:

Fetal Greetings
Zoey's Attic
Baby Cachet

You may want to come up with your own creative ways to let the world know you're expecting (and if you have any, please feel free to share them)!

~*~

Start Spreading the News?

2009-03-14T14:45:00.013-04:00

One of the most exciting parts of finding out you’re pregnant is getting the chance to share that news with family, friends and loved ones. The question of when to tell people is really a personal choice: some women can’t wait to reveal their good news and choose to spill the beans right away, while others prefer to wait until they are a bit further along or even until the physical signs are obvious enough that most people probably already know. Again, who you choose to tell and when is something you and your partner should discuss and decide for yourselves. Here are some things you may want to consider.

It is rare but not impossible to get a false positive result on a home pregnancy test. Some women choose to wait until they’ve seen their doctor and confirmed the results before letting anyone in on the secret.
Early pregnancy, especially for a first-time mom, can be a very confusing and trying time. Both emotional and physical changes are taking place, and you might find it helpful to have some support and advice from friends and family during these early weeks and months.
Telling people early on also means you don’t have to make up excuses for why you’re not having that glass of wine with dinner, or explain why you’ve been so moody or feeling sick in the morning.
Miscarriage is a devastating event however it happens, but many women especially dread the possibility of involving other people in that difficult experience, should it happen. Whether it’s because they don’t want to get people’s hopes up, or because they don’t want to have to deal with the questions, or they simply wouldn’t want others to know if they miscarried for whatever reason, many women are hesitant to let the cat too far out of the bag when uncertainty exists. Your risk of miscarriage drops dramatically once you enter your second trimester; for that reason, it is common for women to wait until this time to begin telling people.

Another perspective on that, however, is that since miscarriage is such a tragic occurrence in a woman’s life, having to go through something of that magnitude alone and with limited support can be very difficult. It could be beneficial to the grieving process to have someone you can talk to about your situation. Also, since it can be a very emotional time, it is likely that people will notice a change in your demeanor or behavior, which could prompt uncomfortable questions. I know a few women who had originally chosen to keep the news to themselves, but after miscarrying, ended up telling one or two trusted friends to help them through it.
If you wait long enough, your body will eventually begin telling people in its own ways. Some women start showing very early, within the first few months; others, not until well into their second trimester. At some point, however, people will almost certainly begin to notice. You may choose to wait until you simply can’t hide it anymore and your growing abdomen spills the beans for you. However, you should consider how this might make certain people feel, both about not being told and the awkward position you may have put them in by making them wonder and perhaps even ask whether or not you are pregnant.
No matter what stage of your pregnancy you decide to begin telling people, you will probably want to tell those closest to you first, face to face or, if they live further away, over the phone. This is the kind of news that close family and friends often prefer to hear firsthand, rather than through the grapevine or, say, in a letter, e-mail or text message.
There are certain situations where you should discuss your pregnancy, even if it’s only with a few absolutely necessary individuals. For example, if you are in a high-risk pregnancy (due to a pre-existing condition or prior miscarriage, for example) it might be advisable for someone to know what’s up in case something should happen. Also, if you are in a joint living situation, whether it be with roommates or family members, anyone who will be directly effected by the arrival of your new bundle of joy, they have a right to know about it. It’s no different than if you were going to ask someone else to move in with you, or if you were thinking of getting a pet; they need to be informed of the major change that is about to happen in their day to day living space so that they can prepare or, if need be, arrange for a new living situation.
One of the major questions a lot of women ask is when to tell their boss that they are pregnant. Again, this is a personal choice and depends on a number of factors: what type of work you do, your relationship with your boss, whether you plan to take maternity leave, whether you plan to return to that job after your time off, etc. For example, if you are in a line of work that is strenuous, dangerous or otherwise physically challenging from a pregnancy standpoint, you may went to tell your boss earlier than most so that you don’t risk harming yourself or the baby.

There will be a lot of things to consider and discuss with your partner and/or family members before sitting down with your boss, so don’t jump right into it without having a definite agreed-upon plan in place. Will you be returning to work full-time, part-time or not at all? Will you or your partner stay home with the baby during the day, or will a family member be able to babysit, or will you use outside childcare? Will one parent’s salary be enough to support your family if you or your partner does decide to become a stay-at-home parent? Do you feel comfortable being away from your child during the day, or leaving him in the care of others? You should also review your company’s maternity leave policy when making these decisions. How much time do they offer? Will you be paid for all or a portion of your leave, or is their maternity leave plan unpaid? Are there supplemental plans available, either through your company or perhaps through your medical insurance or state programs, to offer additional time or income? These and many more questions will need to be answered in order to produce a picture of what you want your work life to be like after the baby is born, so that you can in turn convey that to your boss.

You have to be prepared for the possibility that your boss may not consider this news as welcome and exciting as you do. Most women receive positive and supportive feedback from their employers, but this is not always the case. It’s important to remember that you do have certain rights. Please visits these links for more information on maternity leave rights:

BabyCenter.com: Maternity Leave Basics
Parents.com: Maternity Leave Rights
Salary.com: Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) Information
If you and/or your partner have other children, you may also be wondering not only when but how to tell them about their new sibling-to-be. For the same reasons as mentioned earlier, many women wait to say anything until after their first trimester. This may be especially true in the case of telling children, because as little as they may understand about pregnancy, they will understand even less about miscarriage.

Beyond that, how and when you choose to tell them will first depend largely on their age. Older children will notice the signs on their own sooner and be more aware of people discussing it around them, so you will want to tell them before it becomes too obvious or before they hear it from someone else.

Most of the women I’ve talked to with pre-school and early elementary-aged children waited until they had a small but somewhat noticeable bump – they say that this gives them something to show the child when they’re explaining it and makes it more “real” for them.

Very young children will not likely not grasp the concept that you are growing a brother or sister for them in your belly, but you should talk about it with them any way.

I think the most important thing is to be as open and honest as possible, and to make the other children feel like they will be involved in the process and that the arrival of a new little one will be fun and rewarding for them. Explaining that they will get to be a big brother or sister and you will need their help to take care of their new younger sibling may be a good way to make them feel like they will be included. A friend of mine bought her son an “I’m the Big Brother” T-shirt, which he said made him feel special. Maybe even ask them for name suggestions or to help pick out nursery colors. Encourage them to talk about their feelings or ask questions about the situation. Be prepared that they might want to have the “where do babies come from” conversation, so you may want to take some time to at least consider how this discussion will go before approaching it with your child. You can’t possibly be prepared for all the questions they may ask (kids do say the darnedest things), but it helps to at least have a game plan.

Be aware that children handle this kind of news in different ways. Some are excited at the prospect of having a new brother or sister. Some may want to take on a helper and/or protector role. Others may become jealous or resentful of this new person stealing mommy and daddy’s attention or replacing them as the “baby” of the family. Again, try to make your other children feel as involved and loved as possible by giving them special tasks, making special time to play with them, listening to them and talking to them about how they’re feeling, letting them help with the preparation for and care of the new baby, etc. If you feel it is necessary you may want to involve a family counselor to help your children assimilate and accept the idea of a new addition to the family.

Of course, everyone's circumstances are different and there may be many more things you will have to consider before choosing who to tell and when. Frankly, you may not care about any of these things and just start telling people as soon as the pee is dry on the pregnancy test. Again, there is no right or wrong answer here. It is a personal choice that each individual mommy-to-be has to make. Share with as many or as few people as you'd like. Just do what's right for you and have fun with this exciting time in your life. The rest will fall into place.

~*~

About Advice

2009-03-11T09:27:00.009-04:00

One of the first pieces of advice I received when I became pregnant (and the one I probably continue to get most consistently) is: don't listen to other people's advice. This is usually followed by a statement like, "I mean, if you want my advice..." or "You know, pregnancy for me was..." or some other prelude to giving me the advice they had just finished telling me not to take. I stand and listen politely, nodding and agreeing when appropriate, laughing to myself as I walk away.

It's like women can't help themselves. Having a child is such a huge moment in our lives, such a life-altering experience, it seems like many are just bursting to talk about it - and the presence of a newly pregnant mom-to-be is the perfect excuse.

You can be certain that throughout the course of your pregenancy, you will recieve TONS of unsolicited advice from family, friends, co-workers, and even total strangers. Some of it you may find helpful. Some, not so much. Some of it will probably even be a little strange. The main thing to remember is that every person, every pregnancy, every birth, every child, and every experience is different. What was true for your mother may not be true for you. What's true for the other pregnant women you know right now may not be true for you either. No two pregnancies are identical, and any advice you receive from other moms is given in the context of their personal experience, not yours. Only you (and in some cases, your doctor) can decide what is right and true for you.

Likewise, any advice or opinions in this blog are given largely in the context of my own experience with this pregnancy. In some cases, I will be passing on information I have recieved from others that I have found to be helpful as well, but that doesn't mean that everyone will find it equally as useful.

Furthermore, I am not a psychological or medical doctor of any kind, so any discussions regarding mental health or medical issues are based solely on my own situations and cicrumstances or those of people around me. These things should always be discussed with your own physician/obstetrician/gynceologist/therapist, etc.

And finally, I am always searching out unique, useful, innovative, dynamic products for both mothers and their children, and will often reference or even link to items I find particularly interesting or appealing. Sometimes they will be products I have used personally; sometimes they will not. I hope that you will use your own discretion as to the quality, safety and suitability of any products or services I may feature here.

My hope is that, if someone should one day stumble upon my little piece of cyberspace, this blog will be a tool that they can use to gain the beneift of different perspectives and experiences, to gather information and knowledge, and to get an overall peace of mind that there are others out there who have gone through this crazy, frightening, amazing process and lived to tell the tale.

~*~

Welcome!

2009-03-10T11:42:00.008-04:00

Growing up as young women, we were all exposed at some point to information about pregnancy. Some of that information came from our schools, in the form of biology textbooks and anatomical diagrams in health class. Chances are a good portion of our knowledge came from our own mothers and grandmothers, from hearing their stories and memories about what the experience of childbirth was like for them. Maybe some of us were present at the birth of younger siblings, cousins, or nieces and nephews. It could even be that for some, their knowledge of pregnancy was limited to what they saw on television or in movies. One way or another, we all developed some idea of what we thought pregnancy might be like.

Like many other young women, I had what I would describe as a very basic, mostly biological concept of human reproduction. I could identify the necessary organs and chemicals involved, explain to you the scientific process of fertilization and conception, describe the nature of DNA and chromosomes, and lay out the standard timeline of a human pregnancy. I knew that being pregnant involved things like morning sickness, gaining weight, regular doctor’s appointments and ultrasounds, maternity clothes shopping, baby showers, labor and delivery, and a fair amount of planning. I knew that having a child meant sacrificing a number of personal liberties, hours of sleep and sometimes some sanity. And I knew that it was expensive. I suppose on some level, though, I also knew that it would one of the greatest joys I would ever experience.

I am 26 now, and pregnant for the first time. Looking back now on what I thought I knew, I can safely say that in the grand scheme of things, I didn’t know shit.

The truth is, there is no way to possibly comprehend pregnancy and everything that follows it until you actually go through it. And even then, you have to learn as you go. Just when you think you’ve considered every obstacle, thought of every necessity, solved every dilemma, accounted for every conflict and answered every question, fifty more questions and dilemmas and obstacles will pop up in their place.

One thing I have found extremely helpful is the advice, support and encouragement of other mothers and mothers-to-be. I can’t even tell you how many times I have come face to face with a concern or a question and looked to the answers of so-called “experts”, whose answers often left me more confused and worried than when I started. Unsatisfied, I would search out forums and blogs of real-life parents and other pregnant women and find that many people have had the same questions, the same concerns, and the same confusion that I was experiencing – I was normal! It has been a great comfort for me to know that other women have been there and been through it, and to get advice and guidance from sources I trust. I want to share that gift with others. I want to talk about my experiences so that others may read them and say “I’m not alone”. I also want to share what I have learned with those who may also be looking for advice and guidance.

I’m going to do a number of different things here. First, I am going to tell stories. Stories about what I am experiencing and stories shared with me by other mothers and mothers-to-be. I am also going to share the knowledge and advice I receive from other mothers, as well as helpful suggestions, recommendations, and resources that I come across in my daily travels. I spend time every day reading in books and online about pregnancy, gathering as much information as possible, looking for unique ideas, checking out blogs and websites, researching product reviews, etc. There is so much great stuff out there that I feel is worth sharing. I would also love to post some poetry, photos, anecdotes, quotes and just fun little things related to pregnancy and having children and parenting in general – submissions are always welcome.

I hope this will be an informative, encouraging, inspiring, helpful and interesting resource for first-time moms – and it should be an exciting way for me to document this incredible time in my life!

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