I Am Infinite

Out of Controversy Comes the Light

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:01:00 +0000

It is a wonderful thing when you experience an “a-ha moment”, but when you share that moment and it enlightens others as well… the “a-ha” is so much more than a personal light bulb coming on… you are sharing the light with others.

Out of Controversy Comes the Light

“I don’t believe in organized religion.” Who knew this statement could get so twisted, so judged and so enlightening…

First of all, I wish to express the very important lesson of listening and comprehension. I stated “…organized religion”, I did not state, “I don’t believe in God.” Those are two separate topics.

God is the label given to the ultimate super power of the world. I do believe in God, the higher power, the Spirit, the Universal Power, Allah, or whatever label one chooses.

God is not the religion of Christian, Hindu, Mormon, Catholic, Judaism, etc. Religions are labels of organized groups defining how one should believe, worship and praise God, not God itself.

So, when I made the statement, “I don’t believe in organized religion.” I was stating I don’t believe in the many different groups of rules and protocol on how one is to believe, worship and praise God. It is that simple.

When I heard the follow-up question… “So, what are you?” I was a bit surprised and I will admit, irritated. I felt that I was being cornered in defending my beliefs and myself as if by not believing in religion I was less of … wait for it…. A human being.

Just because I do not claim a religious group or label my beliefs as a type or style of belief, does not make me any less human, any less of a person, or a non-believer in God.

Let me ask you… How many people do you know, including yourself, have claimed to be of a religious group simply because that is what was taught in youth? “We don’t go to church but we are Baptist.” Or how about as a child, we go to church with our parents, but as we get older, we decide we no longer want to go. However, we still claim we “belong” to the religion.

A label does not make the person and we do not belong to religion.

When discussing this with a few friends, I received replies from, “that’s true”, to “I never thought about it like that” and “wow, so it is ok that I don’t go to church and practice the Catholic faith, I still believe in God.”

It is not the way you believe, but that you believe…

Choices

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 01:29:00 +0000

Where does our Life Path come from? Pretty tough question huh? Well, sometimes trying to answer questions like this just isn't necessary. Does it really matter where the path came from or does it matter how we travel the path in front of us? You choose which you want to focus on…

Choices, life is just full of them isn't it?

How do we make choices when we feel like we don't have all the needed information? Again, sometimes stuff we think is important just isn't. When we need to make a choice, we make it with what we have at the time the choice is needed.

Think back to all those decisions that if you had to make them now, would you make the same choice? Actually, don't do that, because that isn't even a legitimate question to ask or answer. Asking a question like this cannot be answered honestly in the now, because the now is different from the then. So, with this knowledge I say, "stop beating yourself up now for what happened then."

If we continuously look back and think, "if only", "I should have", or even "Why did I do that?" we will only cause ourselves stress or create chaos that cannot be ordered because the past is the past and cannot be changed in the present.

What we can do though, is learn from the past and how to choose, behave, and be in the present. Think back to those decisions and feel those feelings you had when you made those decisions. I bet if things turned out "good" you felt excited and happy with your choice. On the other hand, if you feel things turned out "bad" you probably felt kind of sick to your stomach or were having trouble sleeping when you made the decision. Just review the situation and feelings, observe the memory.

Now, use those feelings from then to guide your decisions of now. If you felt excited, happy, joyful in the decision, you believed the decision to be a good decision, if you feel that same way today about a decision you need to make, follow those feelings, they are your belief… at the moment.

Waiting for the unknown to become known may close the door that is standing open, waiting for you to walk through. Or it may be a door waiting to be closed so another one can open… Either way, you need to make a choice, take an active role in your life, be accountable for your life. Stop passing the buck to someone, something else. Take charge and learn to believe not in God, the universe or whatever guidance someone tells you is out there, but in YOU.

Let the Healing Begin

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 12:09:00 +0000

I have become a bitter person. Wow, what a statement to make and how weird to hear your "self" be the one to make it.

As I sit here this morning, full of thoughtful energy zooming from one thought to another with no particular direction, a thought comes to me that floors my senses. Not only does it surprise me, the feelings that accompany it – not a very "good" Ah-Ha moment I tell you! But alas, it is an Ah-Ha moment and as with all, I believe needs further understanding. Ah-Ha moments are eye openers to understanding life, personal actions, behaviors and finding one's inner balance. So, with this dash of cold water in my face, I am delving into… I have become a bitter person.

Oh, on the surface and as far as everyone can see, I am great, loving life and in fact, I even believed this to be true. It took a thought and a feeling of "wicked satisfaction" for me to realize, "Hey, you are hurting more than you know. Time to face it and heal!"

Along with this realization, I suddenly got the urge to write and words started forming sentences, sentences formed paragraphs… Wow, it is amazing to discover just what can get blocked when there are hidden issues lingering in your soul.

Let the healing begin!!!

Changes in Me

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 16:20:00 +0000

Since starting this journey, I have discovered just how much I have been lying to myself. Telling myself one thing and doing the total opposite, causing myself such turmoil and chaos within me. Wow, nothing like the realization that I was my own worse enemy.

I have been, for as long as I can remember, a "soapbox queen." Meaning, when I feel strongly about something, I dig in, plant my feet and start lecturing on how the other is wrong in their thinking, why their wrong and how they need to change. Yup, I tried to change others and when I failed to change others, I started to dislike the person for not seeing things "my" way and question myself in how can I be around such a person. Wow, what a judgmental attitude!

Secondly, learning to be me. I have always believed that I am "me" and no one could change "me", my behavior or my beliefs. I am strong, courageous; fearlessly stand my ground, … until you tell me you don't like it. Then I will back down and hide myself within myself so I don't offend or embarrass you. Sacrificing "me" to appease. This appeasement isn't just on my behavior or personality traits, but on my beliefs. I will not "force the issue" of kindness to others, understanding and such if it is going to cause an argument or tension for me. I'll back down and let you do spiteful acts to others, as long as I don’t have to be the defendant of myself. I'm a doormat.

I am a controversy within myself.

The changes in me…

In recognizing these behaviors, I also realized that I was ashamed of myself, in that I was ashamed of my proclamations of who and how I am versus my actual behaviors. This realization brought on many questions as well: Is my resentment towards others a projection of the resentment I feel towards myself? How do I change my behaviors to be in balance with my beliefs? Can I change while remaining in my current life position?

Time…

Some time has passed and effort given to be the person I have claimed to be. I feel I am emerging into my beliefs with a conviction to stay true to myself, my whole self, not just the image I show to others, but uniting that image with the image I feel and desire to be.

That is this part of my journey…. Uniting me with me and becoming one.

The Leader of the Path

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 16:00:00 +0000

Some say that there is a higher power in charge, an entity that leads us on our life path, but ultimately whatever higher power you believe in, and even if you do not believe in a higher power, the path we travel is ours. We follow our beliefs or we may follow our thoughts. Do you lead with your head or with your heart?

When we are mentally trying to guide ourselves on a path, (make a decision) we look at the pros and cons of the mental image we conjure or try to predict, "If I do this, this is going to happen." But guess what? We cannot predict the future by thought alone. We base these outcomes on the past and although there may be similarities, the circumstances, situations, locations, the day, time and the decision itself is different from one that took place in the past. However, we still continue to weigh the pros and cons based on the past and from these predicted images two things usually take place:

We may become afraid of making a choice, with the "been there done that, don't want to do it again" thinking we don't make a decision or
We hope or state that what we visualized won't actually happen and we make a choice. But, we really don't believe in what we are hoping for.

This is when the "should've" thinking comes in. You know the "hindsight is 20/20" reasoning and then we start to berate ourselves because we "knew" this was going to happen.

Both these scenarios are based on living in the past, when what we need to do is live in the now. Today, this moment, using our mental analysis techniques with our spiritual analysis techniques. Uniting the ego (conscious mind) with our spirit (beliefs). How do we know what our beliefs? We feel them.

Instead of thinking of the past to predict the now outcomes, think of the choice in the now. Get in touch with your beliefs, your feelings, your emotions and listen to them, don't try to talk yourself out of what you are feeling.

When we follow our feelings, we are following our spirit, the ethereal path. When we talk ourselves out of what we feel or act based solely on the past outcomes or the feelings of the past, we are following our ego, the ego path.

Notice how much mind work there is with the ego path? Self talk, remembering the past, bringing the past feelings into the present. No wonder we get stressed and worn out, feeling mentally and physically exhausted at times of choices!

Ethereal Path

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 14:53:00 +0000

The ethereal path is the path of feeding our spirit, of discovering inner pleasures, peace and happiness. Ethereal is defined as "Characterized by lightness and insubstantiality; intangible." The ethereal path does not need material things, but intangible things to find and hold onto the pleasures, peace and happiness of living. I like to think of the ethereal path as a path of senses, our five physical senses and our one inner sense.
We gain comfort when we smell flowers, fresh mown grass, even the aromas of good food! The touch of others can bring peace as well as the touch of a flower petal, a pet, or any craft that we create and nurture with our hands: woodworking, needlepoint, crochet, knitting, painting, and yard work.

Things we hear can bring joy, peace, and calmness. The sounds of birds, the ocean, children playing, music and even everyday conversations with those we love. Along with the touch, smell and hearing of people and nature, what we see can take our breath away in awe. A beautiful sunrise or sunset, the colors and shapes of flowers in bloom, a rainbow, and the sight of those we love can all bring a smile to our faces and joy to our hearts.

Let us not forget about taste, this one is actually pretty good for all our senses. Think about preparing a meal, humming along or even singing along with your favorite artist, working with your hands, chopping, slicing, and watching all the colors and ingredients blend together to create such an amazing taste that you are speechless.

This brings us to our inner sense, the spirit in which we try to live our lives. We have beliefs of what is right and wrong, and we try to act in a way that we believe is "right" and will be beneficial to all, not just us, individually.

Now here is the irony of all this, the ethereal path is achieved by uniting the ego with our spirit. Another way to describe it would be to follow our ego desires with the guidance of our spirit. We cannot "be" without our human conscious, ego and our spiritual conscious, the light of the intangible. To be alive, to live lively, the two come together and unite, working together to achieve. By using the ego's drive and ambition with the spirit's light of right and wrong behavior, we can achieve our desire with lasting joy. It may not be overnight, but it can be achieved.

When our ego says, "I want" our ethereal self (spiritual self) will ask, "How do I achieve this without causing harm?" (To others, the universe or myself)

Ego Path

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 16:21:00 +0000

Let me start this explanation of the ego path with a disclaimer:

When one attempts to explain the ego or ego based behavior it cannot be explained as an absolute. Many times, descriptions are in generalities and should not be taken as a black and white description. There are many colors in the rainbow and shades to the defined colors, so are there many descriptions for the ego and ego behavior.

In general, the ego path starts with a statement like this, "If I had ________ I would be successful." (Loved, a better person, etc.) These statements are the ego feeding type statements: they are external gratifications, material existence, kind of like, "I have, and therefore I am".

The thing about feeding the ego, it (you) are never satisfied with things, fleeting moments of happiness, excitement, adoration, etc. just aren't good enough. Once we start down the ego path, we generally will travel many years, gathering people and stuff, but still feeling empty. The ego path is a vicious cycle of want and waste. We want and when we get, we waste the feeling, the experience because we decide we want more. The moment just isn't good enough, we want it to last longer, be present all the time, not just for a second. We want, we get, we waste, we want…

Some examples of the ego path are listed below, but basically, the ego path is a path of self-indulgence without thought of consequences or others. It is seeking the external pleasures believing that they will create happiness internally:

Sexual Gratification. Sexual affairs, one night stands, even the "dress to kill" attire or lack thereof. Let's be honest, compliments on our "performance", the thrill of sex, and hearing how good we look, even if rudely put, all feed our ego, our personal, thrill seeking, never satisfied, instant gratification lust of pleasure and admiration.

Going for the money, no matter the cost. We bend the rules, lie, and spend too much time away from our families and friends, all because we want more money. We believe that money will make us happy, that life will be easier, we could buy whatever we wanted and money will make us popular or liked by others. Think about it, does the having of money really do all this? Yes, we need money to survive. Yes, we need to work. (Even the rich and famous and not so famous, work!) But where are the joy, the happiness, the friendships and family? They are not with us we are too busy working, silly us, no time for this, we need money! Another thing, do you really believe that people will like you because you have money? Ding-dong, they like the money, they are on the ego path too, playing nice so you give them the material things, the pretty things and the image by association to feed their ego.

Pride and self importance, yes pride in one's self is ego feeding. Bragging about what we have, what we do, who we made mad, how we "made" someone a better person, etc. all those things we brag about to make ourselves feel better and bigger than another are feeding the ego. By bragging our ego is being fed and we are happy for the moment, but it isn't long that we need to brag again, to feel that admiration, the pride in ourselves, so the cycle goes. Please be aware that sharing an experience, sharing an accomplished goal with another is not that same as bragging. Bragging is the telling or retelling of something to create a sense of self-greatness.

When one travels the ego path, feeding the ego and external pleasure seeking is like a drug, eventually you will develop a tolerance and need more and more to achieve the "high". The pure ego path will destroy anything and anyone that may hinder its desire for more. Marriages and relationships break up, friendships are lost, children are forgotten, and this path is a self-centered path of pleasure seeking.

These are just a few examples of the ego path; if you have some others you would like to share please feel free to leave a comment.

We can all learn from one another, if we keep an open mind.

For more explanations on the ego follow the links below.

Ego and Self Spirituality

Ego of Protection Separation

Ego and Spirit Separation | Ego's Use of Fear

The Breaking Point

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 15:38:00 +0000

I'm tired - emotionally drained, physically exhausted. I do not have the energy to "be there" for myself right now, so please don’t ask me for something for you. I need to rejuvenate my body, my soul that is why I want to have a fun time with the innocence of a child; without the adult worries, concerns, and responsibilities. I need to reconnect with my inner child, my innocent, "fun self". This is something I have not done in a long time and it is important to me to find that child. I cannot do that if I have to debate or explain myself to another. I need to be able to just experience - with no strings, no promises, and no drama, without feeling like I am responsible for someone else's happiness and well-being.

Every one of us has constructed an ego-based identity in which we have assigned ourselves an acceptable role that eventually smothers our full self-expression. Rather than being who we really are, we become a characterization of the person we think we “should” be." ~ Debbie Ford

As we travel this world and grow in age, our innocence can get lost along the way. We have work, bills, families, spouses or partners and we take on the life of responsibility. With these responsibilities comes expectations, some we create for us, others are created for us by others. Trying to live and meet these expectations, whether our own or perceived as what is expected can cause us inner turmoil. We are so busy spinning ourselves in every direction to please that person or this person and live up to our own, that we forget to really live; we start to just exist. That is until we hit that breaking point when we are finally so drained that even existing becomes a burden, a chore.

"…Rather than being who we really are, we become a characterization of the person we think we “should” be."

When we get to this point, we must learn how to step back from existing and rediscover life, not the life of being alive, but of living, of being lively. This point, also known as the famous "mid-life crisis" is the point where one desires to "find myself" or attempt to recapture their joys of youth, to feel that they are still appealing to others. This time of "crisis" can be a wonderful rebirth or a disastrous death of our current existence, depending on which path of rediscovery we choose. The "ego path" or the "ethereal path".

Dueling Fingers

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 07:41:00 +0000

Pssst, I have a secret, wanna know what it is? Ok, but you can't tell anyone.

I have noticed that people are tired of anger, tired of bickering, and realizing that the dueling fingers of internet ranting is a waste of energy. People are realizing that the energy used to bicker can be used to be considerate of others and in that use, it feeds the energy to do more healing than harm.

I don't know about you, but I have been seeing a lot more, "I'm done with the hostility and bickering" postings on several blog sites than say, a year ago. It is truly a wonderful thing to read too. Every time I read someone who says they are tired of the bickering, it adds to my hope of a society willing to work together. I know, society is H U G E, but I feel positive energies are shifting to the forefront. What great excitement it is too in the world of energy.

Now, I also know that it is a slow shift and even after deciding to make the shift, it takes time. We all have our own skeletons in the closet to deal with and that is a fact. However, it appears that people are more willing to let bygones be bygones than hold on to those skeletons and punish all because of a few, with the exception of the government of course. I hope though that some day even that will change. What can I say? I have hope for a balanced world.

When Giving Becomes Giving In

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 17:37:00 +0000

How many times have you heard the words "Give and you shall receive" or how about "To give is divine", "Give with an open heart", "Give without the expectation of receiving." Oh, the many phrases to teach society to be givers and not takers.

I'm not going to tell you that these words are hogwash or that they are hype, I will tell you that I believe there is misperception of what these words mean. I will also tell you that sometimes when a person gives, they are actually giving in and explain how this is when the self-doubt, the chaos within and turmoil in our personal material world begins.

When a person gives from the heart, in kindness, in caring and all the other positive attributes listed in numerous writings, it is said that they are to receive abundance from God, the universe, earth, nature and the list goes on.

"I'm a giving person, I try to be compassionate and caring, why do I keep getting treated like dirt?" Does this sound familiar? How many times have you thought or heard yourself or someone else say, "I give this person all they could possibly want and they treat me like I'm nothing. I don't understand, why do they do this?"

Well, let me ask you, are you giving or are you giving in?

Are you giving your time, your love, your money or help because you want to or because you feel you have to in order to avoid an argument, a negative perception of yourself, or because you feel it is your duty or expectation by others? If you are giving with any of these intentions, you are actually giving in. Giving in to the will of another, to the hype of receiving something you want in return, you are giving in to avoid, not giving because of kindness, love and simply because you want to.

Many people find themselves questioning what they are doing "wrong" or why they seem to receive nothing but heartache and financial troubles. Believe me when I say that it could all just be a matter of perception and not a matter of doing anything wrong.

Giving should be simply a willful act of aid to another and abundance, well it is not defined as a specific item or emotion, it is just an abundance of some unknown. This is where how you give is important. The intention behind the giving determines the definition of abundance. When the abundance you receive is not what you were seeking, it is time to go deep, into your subconscious and find the true intention behind your giving or if your giving is actually giving in.

When giving, it is not the action of giving that returns the abundance, but the intention behind the action that really matters. One way to figure out the intention behind the giving is to be conscious of your feelings, your emotions while giving. If the giving is in sync with your beliefs and with the universal spirit of giving as a positive energy, you will feel at peace in the action. There will not be a little voice of "Is this right?" or a gut feeling of turmoil. Reflect on the "why" you are giving rather than the "what" you will receive.

We have been taught to give, however, we have not been taught how we should give. Many people and organizations try to guilt you into giving. This type of giving is not in conjunction with the Spirit or the universal energies of giving, we are not giving with an open heart, with no expectation; we are giving with guilt or with the expectation of relieving the guilt. We are giving in to the negative energies of guilt in the advertisements, in the words expressed by others of why we should give to them. Some people take the words of "ask and you shall receive" a bit too far.

I believe for every action, there is a reaction or consequence for our actions and behaviors. If I want positive consequences, I must behave and act in positive ways, as a whole unit of positive energy, not divided in mind and spirit.

I hope this has shed some light on the "what am I doing wrong?" question. Take some time now and think back to moments of giving and the results or abundance received. Now think about how you felt when you gave, why you gave what you gave, define your intentions at that moment and your abundance received may become clear. The intentions behind the actions define the abundance received.

The next time you give, be more conscious of the moment and feel if you are truly giving or giving in.

Ability to Multi-Task Not Required

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 30 May 2010 15:05:00 +0000

In today's job market and employment searching, a common requirement for an employment position is "the ability to multi-task." Many positions include job descriptions of three or more people disguised with the popular buzzwords and generally offer a minimal compensation rate for the one doing the work of three.

This requirement is not only in the employment arena, but also in the home. The ability has become a "must have" in our just about every aspect of our lives. We have become accustomed to the multi-tasking behavior and many of us have lost the ability to turn it off, to stop multi-tasking and enjoy the moment of now. We are thinking about what needs to be done, how we can accomplish the most with the least amount of time.

Think about all the things you do while at home; laundry, dishes, preparing meals, showering, brushing your teeth, planning for events or recreation and relaxing. While performing these tasks, what are you thinking? Are you thinking about the task or are you thinking about what you are going to do next, the next item to be checked off the list?

Going through the motions of everyday life without thought of what you are doing, but with thoughts of what you will be doing may create worry, anxiety and frustration. Stress of what needs to be done instead of peaceful sighs of what is accomplished as it is accomplished.

The ability to focus on one thing or one task with no other list of "to do" going through our minds in the background, is one example of being present in the moment, in the now. By being in the now, we are able to take the stress out of the task providing our emotions a much more clear path of travel.

Here are some tips that may help you to focus on the now, even while doing the mundane tasks of everyday life.

1. When sorting clothes in preparation for washing, pick up an item, mentally state the color or item and as you place it in the proper pile, state what you are doing. This can be done verbally or mentally.

a. Blue, blue goes with blues
b. White, white goes with whites
c. Towel, towel goes with towels
d. Jeans, jeans goes with jeans

2. When brushing your teeth, mentally tell yourself what you are doing as you do it.

a. I need my toothbrush, I am getting my toothbrush, and I have my toothbrush.
b. Put toothpaste on my toothbrush, done
c. Brush the top right side of my teeth; up, down, up down, etc.
d. Now it is time to do the bottom. Up, down, up, down, etc

3. When getting dressed, make it fun. Sing "The Hokey Pokey" as you put your arms in your shirt or blouse and your legs in your pants. When you are all dressed, finish The Hokey Pokey and turn yourself about. This will keep you present and supply you a happy boost for the day.

Focus on what you are doing, not on what is next.

When the task is completed, note how you feel. Are you relaxed, yet energized, ready for the next task? If this is how you feel congratulate yourself, you stayed in the moment. If you are stressed, thinking that a task took too long or you just have too much to do, take a moment to think back on the task and redo it in your mind. You may be able to pinpoint when the stress started and it probably happened when your mind wandered to the "to do" list and you lost the focus of the single task. Don't be discouraged though; congratulate yourself anyway, because you brought yourself back into the moment. Balance in emotion, in life is the same as balance on a ball or tightrope, you may wobble this way and that, but with effort and balance you stay on target.

MJ's Note: I believe that each and every task accomplished deserves acknowledgement, whether it is a sigh of relief that it is done, a smile of appreciation for the completed task or simply an "I did it!" acknowledgement. Thanking yourself and acknowledging the completion of a task will also help you stay focused on the now and even give you a boost of positive energy to accompany you onto the next task.

All of this can be done in the privacy of your own head without verbalizing your thoughts; it just takes a conscious mind focused on what you are doing in the moment.

The Law of Attraction Worked For Me

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 21:55:00 +0000

What the heck is it with all of these self-help, self-enlightenment, self-discovery, and self-improvement theories that focus on money?

I admit some valid points are made and some of the information behind the "how to guides" is actually very logical in their presentation, but I do have one pet peeve.

They all seem to support themselves by telling you that you do not have what you want, you are not in a peaceful state, you will not be what you desire because you are your own worst enemy and you must follow this prescription of action for health, wealth and happiness. Alas, for the low price of just $19.95 I will tell you what it is and by the way, if you pay me $300, you can listen to me talk and tell you how you are at fault for all your troubles. The Law of Attraction worked for me. I felt rich and now I am, just send me $199 and I will let you in on how "The Secret" worked for me.

Uh-hum, I think I can see the "secret" already, can you?

It is wonderful that people are looking for ways to become better people, but the proclamations of everlasting wealth and happiness really bothers me. In a way it sets a person up for a fall and possibly may even be a boulder blocking the path to a balanced emotional state. A person reads or hears another talking about "It is so simple, I made $1,000 overnight, just because I followed this plan." "I thought I was wealthy and the money started coming in." When someone tries this and the money doesn't come in, it is like they dropped from their knees to flat on the floor, face down. They miss the point of self when they hear or read these types of stories. They are focused on the outer world of material and financial gain, not the inner world of self, of emotional and balanced gain.

If wealth alone could provide everlasting happiness, there would be no million-dollar divorce cases or any grief for the wealthy or "upper class" people. But I can tell you and the media can tell you that money does not provide everlasting happiness. You can try and spin it anyway you choose, if you are not emotionally balanced, grounded with the energies of the universe, you will not be happy. It's an all-encompassing package, not one element alone will provide all nourishment.

Self-improvement or whatever label you choose, is more about balancing your emotions in life for a more peaceful existence and enjoyment of life on earth.

Greed, Pride, Gluttony and Lust, a few of the seven sins or traits of a materialistic person are known around the world for a reason and the reason they are known is because they are harmful to you. They take away your balance, spin you out of control and may cause actions of deceit, theft, and other inconsiderate acts upon others just so you can be happy? How is watching your back, being paranoid of those around you and fearing loosing it all a balanced state of existence? How are you enlightened? Are you happy?

Please, forget about the "attraction of wealth" and learn the attraction of self, about the consideration of others. No amount of money can be such joy, such peace, and such happiness as knowing that you care about people and people care about you.

If you can bring yourself into balance then the universe just might help bring your pocketbook into balance. But remember… all these theories, all these systems start with "Self", not with "$".

Okay, I'll jump off my soapbox now. Have a nice week… : )

Sending smiles
MJ

Click here to join the Xomba Family - "A penny for your thoughts" can add up!

Personal Bill of Rights

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 20:22:00 +0000

The "Personal Bill of Rights" is a list of individual characteristics of actions, thoughts and ideas of the personal self that should not be dictated to you by another. As a human being, we all have personal rights. Sometimes we forget that we have these rights and we start to lose our self, our personal spirit as well as our connection with the Universal Spirit. Resentment towards others and a lack of self-valuation sets in. These rights are not just an empowerment for your self, but a glue that binds your spirit self with your ego self and enables one to live a more fulfilling life. By fulfilling, I mean a more balanced life of emotion and experience.

I first came across this list a few years back in domestic abuse counseling. They helped me to realize that the "things" I was fighting for, the "things" I was trying so desperately to hold on to, were my rights as a person: I am not being selfish, I am not crazy, I am a human being.

The thing about these rights is that there is a balance that must be maintained. This balance is between you and the person you are asserting these rights to as well as with you and the universal energy that surrounds us. It is important that if you assert your personal rights, that you also allow other individuals to assert theirs. The balance is in allowing others' personal rights while maintaining yours.

The following is one version of the Personal Bill of Rights, many others can be found on the internet.

I have the right to ask for what I want.
I have the right to make my own choices.
I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
I have the right to change my mind.
I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
I have the right to follow my own values and standards.
I have the right to say "No" to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.
I have the right to determine my own priorities.
I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
I have the right to expect honesty from others.
I have the right to be angry with someone I love.
I have the right to be uniquely myself.
I have the right to feel scared and say, "I'm afraid."
I have the right to say, "I don't know."
I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
I have the right to my own needs of personal space and time.
I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
I have the right to change and grow.
I have the right to be happy.

Elements of a Balanced Life | Structure and Flexibility

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 07:13:00 +0000

Do you wonder what people mean when they talk about a balanced life or feeling balanced? Is there really such a thing as a balanced life or is it just something that we think we should have to be happy?

In my opinion, a Balanced Life is one where a feeling of being at rest while living exist, where one is resting in the middle of two extremes: Chaos and Peace. To be balanced, it is best described as living, being, accomplishing without the struggle of forcing the "ing": The "ing" being the action of life on planet earth.

Balance is a juggling act of living, bringing order to chaos. For some, order is a structured life with schedules of work, play and sleep. For others, a structured life is too boring and they live for the spontaneous thrill or the constant state of urgency. For a Balanced Life, one must strive for the middle ground or middle zone of the energy forces.

If one tends to lead a structured life, the scale tips out of balance when the structure or schedule is thrown off or expectations of the plans are not met. This can cause one to feel a bit chaotic and because they live with "two feet on the ground", they are unable to draw upon the needed energy boost for leveling the scale. For this person, what is a simple "oops" to you or me, may feel like a catastrophic dilemma to them.

At the same time, a person who lives for the thrill will be in constant chaos and a simple "oops" to you or me is a catastrophic dilemma to them. Due to the constant use of energy and lack of rest or grounding, eventually this chaos will cause energy drainage and all efforts of energy use, movement and even thought, will come to a screeching halt.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could feel balanced all of the time? But then again, would it? We would not have a reference point of what balance versus unbalance feels like. We need times of chaos or a tipping of the scale at least, to stimulate ourselves or even to ground ourselves. This helps us to pay attention to the present or in other words to be conscious of our thoughts and behaviors.

So, what is a description of a balanced person? Well now, that all depends on the person. For a balanced life, a balanced person is all a perception; it really isn't a state of existence, but a perception of any given moment. Balanced living is the ability to enjoy the steady flow of life along with the occasional energy spike as well as the energy dip: Structure and flexibility, being present in the moment and conscious thoughts and behaviors are key elements of a Balanced Life.

Is Lack of Personal Touch Bankrupting Our Society?

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 16:23:00 +0000

Today I was going to talk about trust, but then I read this article and changed my mind.

Recently, I have been feeling a bit "out of touch" with society, so much of it has become automated, technologically enhanced, and electronic. Lacking in human sharing and showing of basic human needs to grow. The human touch.

Although the Internet is a great way to get the word out and reaching a greater populace is great, the human touch is still necessary for human life. For this reason, I would like to share the following article with all of you and ask, do you think society is going bankrupt?

Is Lack of Personal Touch Bankrupting Our Society?

Studies have shown that in France and Italy individuals usually touch one another 100 times in the course of an hour conversation. In the United States that figure drops to.....3. This past week at church I heard an amazing message from a man who was visiting from Michigan. The basic premise of the message was the human need for physical touch and how it is related to the soul. He shows how through the gospels whenever Jesus was healing someone he chose to physically touch them. Though he could have just said the word, there was something deeply spiritual and yet human about that physical contact.

In our society we have backed away from physical touch. Perhaps, it is due to the fear of inappropriate touch or a general lack of formality. However, I would contend that as we move away from physically touching one another, we actually tend to move away from one another relationally and emotionally as well. A simple hug, hand shake, pat on the back, or kiss can go a long way often in showing the other person that you care.

Words are great, but they often leave us wanting and lacking. I wonder if more physical touch could possibly help tear down some of the walls we have created in society between one another. Maybe the staunch individualism and the corresponding selfishness could be slightly halted if we learned to actually let ourselves go and become warmer to those around us. Perhaps being warmer to those around us physically could not only change our own lives, but actually help change our society.

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Will_McCorkle

McCorkle, W. (2010, February 11). Is Lack of Personal Touch Bankrupting Our Society?. Retrieved February 14, 2010, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Is-Lack-of-Personal-Touch-Bankrupting-Our-Society?&id=3744625

Hope Lost, Hope Given

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 07:03:00 +0000

Written by Scott Weiler

Enough is enough. I am tired of this sham. I have tried to play by the rules of your game but I can't do it any more. Today, this very moment, I no longer hold myself back. Yes, I was born as you where born so I would stand out less; an old practice whenever we find 'Ckloutin'. That is our word for what you call civilization. Civilization... I find it hard not to smile at the intention behind your word. Really it is any band of organized matter that has any degree of awareness. In your case it is a very minimal sense of awareness, but it is enough. To integrate with any Ckloutin, it is a simple thing. A newly forming embryo in a womb is all that is required. It has been two hundred years in seven forms that I have participated amongst you. I age the same and function the same as you. When the time is right, I simply jump ship and nest in a new embryo to continue the journey. I have on occasion noticed others of my kind. We can tell one another from the rest of you. Most of us avoid interacting as it rarely ends up a good thing.

Two hundred years! I am so tired of this. There is so much potential here in this expression of motion. You have a built-in loop that will not allow you to see beyond what you think you are to what you are capable of. Today I break the rules and create some havoc. Maybe that will wake you up; Most likely not knowing you as well as I do but perhaps it will wake some of you. I will be hunted and destroyed by my own... and that will be a relief.

I am of this body but I shall champion the energy within and use it to change the energy around me. I will bring raging clouds and winds! I will shake the earth and turn calm waters into starving ramped beasts! I will form new creatures from the earth that will force you to survive and not just exist in a dozy half living stasis. I will force you to wake and change! But wait. Wait a moment...this is like an illness. I am truly becoming one of you aren't I? Too much time living as you do. My higher consciousness is fading and I reduced to a mentality of rage and destruction; just like you. This cannot be. I will not let this occur. I am confused and feel so weak. Woe is this and I must not give in to this insanity. Better I terminate myself then to do so much harm to those around me. It is after all your right to be as you are; No matter how less that may be then what you are capable of becoming.

Yes, that is the way it must be. I am at a loss. If I remain any longer it will bring about a new kind of illness upon this planet. As limited as you are, there is an appeal to your energy. I have loved you...many times over. I will not bring harm to your doorstep. I am arranging my immediate departure. It is a simple thing to do; Just one thought and I disappear. But before I go, I will do one last thing to try to help you grow. It will be subtle but it will hold power. I will send to you a message...a quiet one that only your unconscious mind will hear. It will be heard everywhere though. I will send you the right questions to ask; Questions that will make you think in a new way; Questions that will give you the option to grow. I will send you a message that opens the door to your higher self. Listen for it in the conversations you hear buzzing around you. Listen for it and know that it was my gift to you.

There; it is done. Now... there is only one thing left. Ahh...I see the universe...I am coming home...

Boulder of Life

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 18:45:00 +0000

Do you ever feel like you are at a fork in the road of life and need to choose which direction to take, but right behind you is this 5 ton boulder rolling fast towards you and you do not have time to weigh the options of choosing the direction?

It is at these times that our mental and emotional balance is being tossed first this way and then that way, aka: The roller coaster of life.

When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice. William James

What to do, what to do? Doing nothing seems to prolong the sense of urgency, the feeling of internal turmoil and the need to do something. So we try to think of what we should do, only the thinking is not coherent and the turmoil grows. Oh, make it stop, make it stop!

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers

This is when we may feel pressure to make a choice, a choice of what we think is the best of two evils; stand our ground and face that boulder with a sense of dread or turn and run with fear. There are other choices as well, sometimes, we may even choose to close our eyes and think by doing this "it" will go away. Alcohol abuse, drug abuse, cigarettes and even anger towards those we care most about or simply ignoring the "issue" are ways that we close our eyes. But, when our eyes open, "it" is still there. What have we achieved? There is another choice and that choice is wrapped up in belief.

Belief in yourself, belief in the guiding Spirit, belief in being; belief will hold your hand and lead you to the path to take or face that boulder until it becomes a mere pebble. Belief to put out that cigarette, put down that drink, throw away those drugs. It may not be instantaneous, but the more you believe, one by one, the choices to make will become clear, leaving you with a smile of excitement for the choice you have made. We may even laugh at ourselves and ask, "What was so hard about that? Why did I put myself through all that when it is so clear now." Hindsight is 20/20 you know.

Consider what you think justice requires, and decide accordingly. But never give your reasons; for your judgment will probably be right, but your reasons will certainly be wrong. Lord Mansfield

Self doubt, it is such a booger at times. Kicking us when we are feeling weak and feeding our minds with all kinds of fearful thoughts, keeping us in a holding position. Sometimes, if we stop listening to our minds and start listening with our heart, we may even discover that we are a mile away from that fork in the road and there really isn't a boulder behind us.

Sometimes, all we need to do is step out of our minds and feel, stop listening the voice of reason and take a leap of faith.

When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons. In vital matters, however, such as the choice of a mate or a profession, the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within ourselves. In the important decisions of personal life, we should be governed, I think, by the deep inner needs of our nature. Sigmund Freud

Family Ties

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 06:31:00 +0000

Just a quick note to let you all know that postings will return next week. Due to family needs, I will be occupied this week.

Thank you all for visiting and stay tuned for a posting on Wednesday, Feb. 3rd.

Peace and Balance to all
MJ

Chasing the Dragon...or the Old Turkeys

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 14:50:00 +0000

Written by Scott Weiler

I have a headache that pulses and threatens to push my eyes right out of my head. I lay in bed and try to hold the mattress still. It keeps spinning around and it isn't helping my stomach settle at all. I think I am a strong person. I always tackle life with everything I have got. If I get knocked down, I get up and give it a go once again. Harder then before. But this, this feeling I am enduring makes me want to throw the towel in. I think it must be better to be dead then to suffer the way I am now. I know it is just a matter of time and it will pass but oh man, this is a kicker.

So, what happened to leave me in this state. Let me try to recall last night from my screaming brain. I finished work a little early. I slipped out unnoticed from my office with the intention of stopping at a local pub not far from where I live. I have always liked pubs. They are always more social then a regular bar atmosphere. Less primness and more the 'salt of the earth'. That is how I would describe the people in a pub. There are always less women in them to. That in itself has the tendency to keep the men who go to the pubs civil and brotherly. Usually when I go to the pub, which isn't so often as the fellows I always see there, I have two or three beer and maybe some stew then go home. I drink Guinness. It took a while for me to acquire the taste for that brew but now that I like it, I like it a lot. There was a band playing last night. They were called, 'Birds Humming'. They didn't start till later but the hype was high and the barkeep talked me into hanging around a little longer then I usually do to give them a listen. By the third pint of beer, I thought it a great idea to remain for the sake of hearing this band play. Besides, the stool I sat on was warming up to my backside. It was comfortable and I felt at ease. Everyone around me was my friend. Where else could I go that would be better then that? The barkeep bought me my forth beer and after drinking that one, I was committed. I think I may have drunk seven pints of beer by the time the band arrived and started to set up.

They were older then I had expected, older then me in fact. The guy playing the electric guitar was like seventy. I expected the band to be a group of young fellows for some reason or other. Most aspiring music demons break into responsible roles and leave music behind, or they make it in the business and play for real in real venues. I found it hard to accept that these old turkeys slipped through the cracks and have been playing pubs and bars for an entire lifetime. I stated my opinion in some creative and humorous way and my friends around me all laughed and we all toasted to the 'Old Turkeys'. That is what we referred to them for the remainder of the night. The band didn't seem to mind. They had probably endured worse in their time. The night staggered on. When the Old Turkeys finally began to play, I was blown away. They sounded incredible. That old electric guitar player would break off into rifts that would strip you of reason and leave you with raw emotion. Their music was fantastic. Everyone applauded and screamed for more when they would finish a song but none louder then me. I still feel the chills when I think of the sound they created. Or maybe its just my body suffering from the abuse I put it through last night. The Old Turkeys where Gods of Music and we, brothers united by the drink, were their worshipers. It felt magical.

I don't clearly remember how the night finished. I don't even know how I got home. My last memory is an odd one. I could have dreamed it or I could have had a doozy of a hallucination. My friends and I had much beer drunk by then. I don't even want to guess how many brave pints fell to our thirsty maws. The music was still crying out and breaking the barriers of reason just as much as the beer was doing. We were less robust and less able to stand and shout out to our new found favorite band. Old Turkeys sounded more like, 'Owsh Sturknessh' when one of us gathered enough energy to yell out to them. I was staring at the old guy playing the electric guitar. He looked straight at me while his guitar was melting sound into something deeper then sound. He winked at me and then his skin melted off of him. All of his flesh melted away and yet he kept playing. I could say nothing. I lost that ability to do anything but stare. He was a skeleton with a guitar moving on stage and I could only watch and try to make sense of it. No one else said anything if they saw what I was seeing so why would I say anything. My head was numb and my lips where loose feeling. The music shaped itself into words. The Old Turkeys were not singing any words, it was the sound of their instruments that made word sounds. It was only the old fellow that was wearing only bones but they all played he same sound. The words said something to me. I will be damned if I can remember it now but at the time, I was astonished at what it said. I remember feeling like everything made sense and I was going to tell everyone what a simple misunderstanding it was and that the universe was perfect and everything is okay. I remember feeling piece and tranquility and nothing but love for all. I cried without shame and did my best to tell my friends how much I loved them. After that, it's all a blur. Odd. It really feels like that happened but at the same time the whole night felt like a dream.

I need water I think. My God I feel wretched this morning. While I want to hear that music from last night again and feel that connection with my brethren, I would make an oath to anyone that I will never drink alcohol again. It was magical but it cost me too much body to feel that soul. It is too bad I have lost what I found in that music. I am positive it was the answer to everything. I don't want to get lost in a haze of booze chasing that dragon though; Or is that a Bird Humming; Or Old Turkeys. I will have to be content with finding that dragon some other way now that I think its there. First thing is first, when will this room stop moving so I can stand up?

The Perception of Change

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 21:13:00 +0000

There are many things in life which one wishes to change, some things can be changed by an individual, some things require a group, yet there are still other things that simply do not change, no matter how hard a person or group tries to change them.

Thinking of our desires to change things, situations and even beliefs, thoughts and laws, what are we really trying to accomplish?

When things change, but not in the way we wanted, do we then accept it or try to change something else to accomplish our original idea of change. Do we seek out things to change when we feel "out of control" in our lives? In a sense, seeking ways of gaining a perception of control, either by accomplishing the change we desire or by changing our perception of the way things are.

There are many quotes and thoughts about change, but the one I like most is:

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.” Author Unknown

However, some may believe that by not having an external showing of change, no change has occurred. These types of people may be considered extremist and their motto of change would be reflected in: "No change without tragedy"

Today is a day of reflection and thought for me. So, with the feelings of change needed and questions of what changes are needed, I leave you with a popular, but very peaceful prayer…

The Full Original Copy of the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, give us grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

More Confused but Golden

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 18:09:00 +0000

Written by Scott Weiler

Alone, driving during the night, the voices in my head speak so loud... so clear. I can’t figure it out. What is it? It is the whole life thing. It is sometimes such a wonder, living that is. Other times, it is hell. I don’t know who I am. I know my name. I know my history. I just don’t know who I am. These voices speak in opposition to themselves. It's like I don’t even need to be here for them to talk. They talk of life, forever talking about life. I try not to listen too close. It makes me crazy and lost. Lost is not what it should be. Crazy I can understand, but lost is too far from acceptable for me. I want to be absolutely clear about these voices, they aren’t mine. It doesn’t sound like my voice. Sometimes its male voices, others its female voices. Times like this, I wish they would just shut up. Maybe I should give a little background on myself. Just to give a little better perspective.

I am not alone in the world. I mean I have family and friends. But I don’t feel close to them. Not in the traditional sense of close. I have always been different then my family. Always and forever seeing things in the world in other colors then they. My friends, well, friends are friends, they like what they like about you, and dislike other things. But they don’t have to spend more time then they want to with you so it is easier to live with what they don’t like. I get that. So, I am not alone, but feel alone because I am not close to a single soul. Souls... that is the odd thing, I feel closer to people as a whole then people by themselves. I feel closer to the many souls that are, then the souls of people I know. Sounds weird but it is what I feel. Having said that, I figure that has much to do with my constant want to travel, to keep moving around and be immersed in the world of so many souls. I am not a rich person. Nor do I want to be. I don’t care for wealth. It just doesn’t appeal to me. My biggest joy is in helping people. Helping people in any way I can. I seem to have a knack for finding those who need someone now. Sometimes it is a stuck vehicle, sometimes it is someone lost, sometimes it is someone who needs another person to quietly listen. I don’t question why that happens so often with me. I just accept it. The voices, they are always questioning it. That's why I try not to listen to them. I believe in the good of humanity. The voices I hear argue about what good humanity serves.

I dream a lot, I dream of people. I don’t always remember the dreams so well after I wake. But I always remember the feeling of the dreams. In my dreams, I see so many things... so many people. And I love them all. That is how I feel when I wake... so strong a feeling that love doesn’t seem strong enough a word. It isn’t so much individual people I dream of. At least I don’t think it is. It is what lives inside them that I dream of. Whichever feeling I have whilst I sleep, be it sad, or hurt, or happy, or ecstasy, it all equals that feeling that sits in my center from day to day. And no matter what the voices say, it remains in my center. That feeling is why I am driving now, tonight. I feel I must be somewhere. And when I get there, I can make someone better. Only thing, I don’t know where there is yet. No matter, I am confident I will show up just as I am suppose to.

Getting back to these voices, they plague me with uncertainty. They discuss coldly the facts of me. How I am not a valuable person because I don’t want to do the things they would have me do. I can’t mesh into society that way. I can be at peace living in a house, working nine to five, and focusing on a family I create. Not while there is so much out there where I can touch the hearts of humanity, and touch the world in so much greater a way. These voices make claims that people in the world are beyond reproach. They are not able to be helped. That I waste my life away chasing nonsense. The voices are crafty and, at times, very convincing. Still, my center feels differently, so I continue as I am. And I do my best to ignore the talk in my head.

Am I alone in this? Am I the only one who hears these voices? It isn’t something one can easily ask of others. Not without being seen as ill. Alone or not, I am not lost. Perhaps I am crazy, but not lost. And I tell them so. That quiets them for a short time. But they always come back, same as before. I see the morning light on the horizon. I always imagine I hear a symphony when I see that sun rise every morning. The music is the only thing the voices can’t speak above. It is a nice feeling. It is a nice sound. There is someone near that needs me. And I am almost there. The closer I get, the more sense life makes to me. It is always like that. Soon, I will be there soon.

.....
The quiet hi-way reaches towards the rising sun. A small city sits just ahead. Here, on the outskirts of the city, a car moves along, passing a deer that stood just off the shoulder of the road. The deer looks to the car as it passes. Inside, a figure sits alone. If that deer could speak in the tongue of man, it would have said that it saw an unusual thing. The deer would have said the figure who drove the car glowing softly. And had a circle of light above its head... and flowing wings of light that reached outward from its back. It would have said it say an angel driving a car. An angel driving a car? Why would that be? Perhaps that angel doesn’t realize what it is. Perhaps that angel is confused and thinks itself a human. But deer don’t speak in the tongue of man. So it moved on, back to the safety of the wooded lands. And no one was the wiser.

Shame

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 19:26:00 +0000

I sit here writing this because it suddenly occurred to me this morning that although my progress on this path to balance has been one that has taught me many things, I have realized I have a huge hurdle to jump, the hurdle of feeling shame.

I think this realization of shame started when I was writing an article about the changes in me since starting this journey. But the final realization of what I was feeling or actually, what was holding me back from achieving real balance didn't come until now. As I was writing the "yet to be finished" article, I easily listed three things that I discovered about myself that were out of balance in belief and actions. However, I became "blocked" when it came to write the outcome of these realizations. Then it happened, while outside watching the hummingbirds and sparrows feed, out of the blue… Bam! It hit me. Without going into the personal details of what or why I feel shame, I would like to explore shame.

According to The Free Dictionary, shame is: a. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.

Now, we all experience guilt from time to time, maybe we accidentally do or say something that hurts another or we do something we know we shouldn't, but ignore the "don't do it" voice and do it anyway. Usually when this happens, we apologize or we admit our wrongdoing (take responsibility for our actions) and learn from it, our guilt is released.

Embarrassment, how many of you have had one of those moments where what you intended to say, just came out all wrong? Come on… I see you smiling at the memory. We all do it sometimes and when we do, we laugh, our friends and those around us usually laugh, or if it came out really badly, we apologize. The embarrassment is released.

Now, unworthiness … to me, unworthiness is a by-product of someone else's lack of self esteem which causes them to belittle and hurt you. (To put it nicely) Generally speaking, individually we should know that we are worthy. 'Cause God don't make no junk! I just love that saying. Okay, so, life has been a bit rough and things have not always gone as we have expected or planned, but each and everyone one of us are worthy, we are valuable, even to that one who hurts us, we have worth. Think about it.

The feeling of unworthiness is something that an apology for your behavior or laughter for yourself will not release. Unworthiness is not caused by you, but by others actions against you. Acknowledgement of the other person's misguided behavior towards you will open the door for healing. Another person's unkindness belongs to them; the cloak of their insecurities is not yours to wear. Others do not define you; your heart or your soul, you define yourself. Acknowledging this will open the door to start the release, the next step is to believe it.

Finally, we have disgrace. Now, disgrace is a result of judgment. When we make a decision and the outcome is not what we expected, we may feel a sense of letting our self down. Then there are the times we behave in a manner that another judges as inappropriate. They then subtly or loudly will let us know we let them down, we feel disgrace. The judgment of our behavior, our actions, not living up to some standard, either set by us or by others is what brings disgrace.

The bottom line of shame is it is a painful emotion brought on by harsh judgments and intolerance of imperfection.

What to do:
Each of those emotions separately can be released, but when we release the separate emotions pertaining to a particular instance, there is a residual bit of energy left behind, stored in our minds, our ego self, called a memory or even an emotional footprint. This residual energy is the emotion that we hold on to or hold against our self hoping that the memory will stop us from doing whatever or feeling whatever again. We are constantly punishing our selves with the memory.

So, now what I would like us all to do is read the article from Scott, A Moment Alone… To Forgive and do what the man in the article did. Do this every morning until you feel what you are saying.

Release the memory of the emotion, release the judgment, and release the punishing of your self. Forgive yourself, love yourself, and praise your worthiness, your compassion, and your beliefs, release the memories of shame. Shame is not needed, ever.

Today is a new day and what you do today can release what you did yesterday and open the door for tomorrow.

PS The hurdle has been jumped and the landing is uplifting!

A Moment Alone... to Forgive

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:47:00 +0000

Written by Scott Weiler

A Moment Alone... to Forgive

The shower is off but the bathroom is still foggy from the steam. A towel is wrapped around you and your skin is still damp, unable to dry completely in the steamy room. The mirror has a small area rubbed clear and your face stares back at you, framed by the moisture on it's surface. Hands on the counter, elbows locked, you lean forward to get a closer look at yourself. Something you don’t do too often as the reflection sometimes shows more then you want to see. A moment with your self is then created, and it goes like this....

‘I forgive you. Yet you don’t think you even need it, do you? You have buried so many sins in the garden of life yet you refuse to see it. Well, take another look, there are so many mounds of earth there, the flowers can only grow sideways. I forgive you, nonetheless. And I will tell you why. You are still a goodly person. Life throws a lot of pitches at you and you only have the bat you were born with to swing with. Don’t like baseball analogies? Well then, it is not my intention to upset. I have been here every step of the way. I have seen you from the inside, not just what can be seen from the outside. There are actions perceived and evaluations made accordingly, that is how it works out there. In here, I see the evaluations made before the actions can be perceived. A whole new ball game in here. Oops, sorry, that one slid past the plate. Please, don’t get angry. I am limited by the restrictions you have placed upon me over a lifetime of existing. I know you, and know you better then you are willing to admit. Well, the time is here, and so am I. I am the undecorated truth. I am your self, staring back at you while you question why you are you and why you do the things you have done. It is so easy to focus on the things you feel bad about isn’t it. And so hard to allow yourself to feel good about the good you have done. Fair enough. I am not disputing you. You are correct. But that is out there and we are in here. In here, I know you, and what’s more, I love you. I can only forgive you and there is no other thing to do. Love thy self, isn’t that something said by someone important? You and I stare at each other in this mirror and we have only you. It isn’t crazy to have this heart to heart with yourself. Nope, not crazy at all, in fact, you need it. So how about laying off the guilt a little. Allow yourself to be forgiven. Lets work on leveling those mounds in the yard, so we can grow a prettier garden. One we enjoy looking at, instead of disallowing our eyes to stray there. It starts by saying aloud, here and now, ‘I forgive you. And I love you. You are a goodly person.’ Come on, say it aloud this instant. Please. That is all there is to it. Not bad, not bad at all. I am that much more proud of you, if being more proud is possible. I am glad we had this talk. Lets try to get together more often. I am always here, here for you. You are a goodly person, don’t lose track of that.’

A phone rings somewhere and shakes you from your trance. The day is moving and you better get it in gear before it leaves you behind. You feel better about yourself. Already the day is nicer. These moments alone are too far between and, even further apart, are the moments when you are ready to have that kind of chat with yourself. You feel like whistling as you go about getting ready. It feels a lot better being you. And that is nice.

Finding Xanadu

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 19:41:00 +0000

I close my eyes and breathe smoothly and deeply. Relax my feet, my ankles, breathe; feel the air come into my lungs, feel the warm breath leave. Breathe in, imagine it as a light traveling through my nostrils down the back of my throat and filling my lungs. Imagine the light continues through my chest, spreading the width to light up my heart. Clear my mind and relax my knees, Breathe. This time as I breathe in, I imagine a light coming from the ground into my feet with a warm, light, caressing touch as it travels up my legs to help ease the tension and enhance the relaxation. Breathe out, along with the warm breath, expel the tension in my thighs, my hips. Breathe in and bring the light through my feet again, up my legs to my belly. Relax; experience… nothing, the peace of nothingness.

Clap, clap, clap… Xa na du!

According to the dictionary, Xanadu is an idyllic, beautiful place and according to the song sung by Olivia Newton-John, Xanadu is "a place that nobody dared to go, a love that we came to know."

Xanadu is something that we all strive for, in one-way or another. Yet, we are so concentrated on finding “it”, that mystical place and feeling that we fail to look in the most obvious place: Inside ourselves. Instead, we search in our environment, our partners, our friends, and our family for Xanadu.

When we are unable to achieve what we believe is a feeling we are suppose to have, we become resentful of others for not "doing their part", for not providing us with that feeling found in the place we are. We then start to think there is something wrong in our relationship with others. We start to compare, to judge others and ourselves. We start to feel resentful of others who we perceive as having found Xanadu.

Instead of trying to find a destination, Xanadu, that mystical place of beauty, maybe we should learn to see Xanadu in our daily lives, in our daily actions, our daily thoughts. Stop looking for and start looking at.

Holiday Season

noreply@blogger.com (MJ Dakota) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:56:00 +0000

I would like to take this brief laspe is business to say Hello to all and Happy Holidays! Whether you celebrate the idea of Christmas, the religion of Christmas or the feeling of Christmas, may you have a wonderful time!

This time of year, no matter the reason for celebrating, is a time of reflection, gratitude and love. May your times be filled with peace and may you find the balance in your actions of the year gone by, learn from them and enhance the balance in the New Year!

With love and gratitude
MJ