I’m SUPER excited to let you know that we are now (June 29th 2010 at 2:00pm EST)
LIVE with the Absolute Attraction 90 Day Program.

To start the program, go to:

http://www.absoluteattraction.net

Just a quick warning…. I don’t want to sound all hypey, but there are over 18000
people that downloaded the Sleeve Opener and 11000 that listened to the Gambler
interview.

And just look at the blog comments in the past 12 hours or so!

The bottom line is that we have a TON of people lined up for the Absolute
Attraction Program and there are only 200 spots in the program.

There are BIG incentives for people who jump onboard quickly… so it’s
in your best interest to check this out now.

So if you think this might be for you, then go take a look now. I wouldn’t want you
to miss out and regret it later.

Register today, here’s the link:

http://www.absoluteattraction.net

Sincerely,

– Chris Calo

ps. Absolute Attraction will change your life with women in 90 days, I promise.
ps.s. After this, I’m going to sleep! I haven’t slept more than 4 hours in the past week!

Getting the Girl Without Lifting a Finger

Here’s the typical scenario when a guy sees an attractive girl in a social setting such as store. First his heart rate accelerates, he takes a second glance, hoping she’ll be looking at him but unfortunately, she’s busy shopping. After that, his mind goes blank as he desperately tries to find something to say… he wants to start a normal conversation without sounding as if he’s trying to pick her up. Unfortunately, he can’t come up with anything decent so he watches her walk away. This is the exact same scenario illustrated as in the Double Your Dating review here.

If you’re going to be successful with women, instead of watching her walk away, you’re going to need to say something. Now keep in mind that while you’re shopping, it’s very possible that the girl in question is actually busy and in a rush. This happens frequently and therefore, when you open, you should be relatively polite. I know this goes against a LOT of good seduction knowledge out there that claim you need to be bold and manly when you approach girls, but let’s face it, you’re interrupting someone while they are busy shopping, so use some tact and it will go a long way.

Conversation in Line

The absolute easiest opener while standing in line is to make a comment about whatever the person is carrying and about to purchase. Now if they are standing in line about to purchase it, then it’s LIKELY that they like that product so you can immediately build rapport by saying that you like it as well. It can be anything from a piece of cake that she’s about to purchase from a cafe to a plunger she’s about to buy at the local hardware store. Just say that it’s good, that it’s your favorite or that you like it. It’s a great way to start a conversation on a positive note. Be enthusiastic about it (why else would you comment on it?) but don’t go overboard. If she’s buying a box of cereals, you don’t need to pretend as if it’s a life changing experience.

The Follow Up Trick To Get Her Talking

As a general rule of thumb, you immediately want to let her know that you’re busy and provide an indication that you won’t be talking to her for a long time. The last thing that a girl wants is a creepy guy talking to her for long periods of time, or worse, following her home. If you immediately tell her: “I’m doing some last second shopping before I head back home” she’ll feel more at ease talking to you because she won’t feel as if you’re going to be hard to get rid of later on. By letting her know that you’re busy and you have something to do immediately afterward, she’ll feel more comfortable talking to you because she knows it won’t be for long. So remember, let her know early on that you’re busy and it will go a long way.

What to Talk About With the Girl

What you say is quite important and it all comes back to the first thing I mentioned: You have to find out what you like about her other than her appearance. What do you look for in a girl? What kind of qualities do you really want to find? What kind of activities would your ideal girl do? Once you know what you’re looking for in a girl, you’re much more likely to find it. For example, if you’re looking for girl that’s really honest and trustworthy, then while in line you could jokingly ask if she’s smuggling anything out of the store in her pockets. When she replies “No, I’d never do that!” then you can reply that you like a girl that’s honest. Allow me to explain why this works.

First, when you approach a girl with the desire to find out more about her life, it immediately puts you in the selector’s frame of mind. Instead of her deciding if she likes you or not, you’re the one that chooses. This is because the person that’s asking the questions is the person that’s selecting. Depending on her answers, you’ll either like her or not. This puts you in control of the situation, instead of the other way around.

Second, when you find something you like in a person, it’s only natural to want to keep contact with them and take the interaction a little further. That’s why, as soon as you find an aspect you like in a girl, you’ll want to let her know that you approve of it. In her mind, when you ask for her number, she’ll think: “Oh, he really likes the fact that I teach art part time, that’s why he’s asking me out” never mind that the real reason you initially approached her was because you thought she was beautiful.

If you’re truly serious about how to pick up a girl in day to day situations, then I have something to recommend to you that I think will help. The book Double Your Dating by David Deangelo covers in detail how to build attraction, approach girls without hesitating and explains how some guys can go from not being able to talk to girls to having a full calendar of dates the next month. As you’ll see in the review, I highly recommend it if you’re serious about dating.

So let’s start!

In seduction, you can either have a completely natural approach where you simply go up to a girl and say “hello”, or you can have a more mechanical approach where everything is broken down into tiny little steps. It’s likely that if you’re reading this you aren’t part of the more natural ones so let’s break a conversation down into tiny little parts.

The Opener

The first thing you say to a woman is called an opener. The opener’s purpose is to simply break the ice and get the conversation going. The key to a good opener is to engage the other person and if you can captivate their attention, then that’s even better. If your opener isn’t creating curiosity, then it’s likely that the girl you’re talking to will simply walk away or act very disinterested earlier on. If this is happening, then make sure to change your approach until you can at least get 30 seconds of conversation going each time you try to talk to a new girl.

As if it wasn’t subtly hinted enough in the previous paragraph, you should prepare your opener in advance. Ideally, it should be less than 10 seconds long, draw curiosity to you and be original! If you want mine, then that’s fine, it’s not very good but it works: “Hey there, how’s it going? I’m doing <enter activity here>, what are you up to?” (I told you it wasn’t very good! But usually I’m doing something interesting enough to be casual yet inciting)

Keep the Conversation Flowing

If after you say hello to a girl, you immediately have nothing to say, it’s likely that your efforts won’t go very far. All the courage that it took to go up to the girl… they will all be for nothing if you don’t have a follow up to your opener. What you say AFTER you’ve said hello is called a routine. These are stories, questions or even a game you play after you’ve first made contact.

Routines can range from asking specific questions, to telling stories about yourself or even doing a magic trick. However, if you’re using any type of prop to pick up women, then you better have a good explanation for it. Don’t just walk up to a girl, say hi and then read her palm. There needs to be something in between!

Instead, routines should be interesting and relevant stories that make people want to hear the rest. For example, if you start talking about how you just came back from the airport and the girl right beside you was stopped for trying to bring in a foreign animal onto the plane, you’ll be on your way to creating curiosity. Whatever you say, make sure it’s genuine and relevant to you.

Once again, make sure you prepare this beforehand so when the situation arises, you know exactly what to say. That way, if your mind draws a blank, you’ll have something to immediately say after introducing yourself. Some guys prefer to have many routines and then they stack them one after another. That provides them with hours of chatter without even having to think!

Qualifying the Girl

Now during your chat, if you simply tell stories, you’ll never get to know her! So this next step, where you ask her specific questions will get her talking as well. Your questions should be open ended questions about things that you care about. If you’re looking for a fun adventurous girl, ask her what the last adventurous thing she did was. Make her describe, in detail if possible, what kind of person she is and why she’s worth talking to. If you can reverse the roles like that, then you’ll be on your way to not only having an enjoyable conversation, but building attraction while you’re at it.

Recap

How to Start a Conversation and then keep it going in a few steps:

1. Create a personalized opener
2. Create two routines
3. Figure out what you want in a girl and think of two open ended questions

Once you’ve done all of this, you’ll have your own step by step guide to starting great conversations. Then all you need to do is go out and apply it.

A lesson from women in flirting

If you’ve looked around in our stereotypical world, you’ll notice that women tend to be naturally good at this and often get the nickname of “Flirts”. As guys we can learn a bit from them. Now I don’t want you acting like a girl, nor dressing like a girl… but if you pay attention, you’ll notice that the women that are great at flirting do have a certain appearance that is flirty. This includes bright colors, mini-skirts, blouses, energetic clothes that say: “Look at me”.

Now I know what you’re thinking… “Ok, I should wear bright colors and dress a bit more like a girl” …. NO, you shouldn’t! Anyone wearing a mini-skirt without the proper equipment better be in an Gaelic parade.

What you want to have clothes that attract attention while still making you look like a man. How? Well, for starters, get nice clothes. If you shop at Wall-Mart for your clothes, you’re only making it harder for yourself. Instead, go for some designer clothes. Having subtle yet fancy designs on your clothes will attract attention and so will having clean brand new shoes. My friend at Kinowear will help you figure out how to look in order to attract women. Just don’t get carried away with the more feminine looks… he likes to go overboard.

(Taken from Kinowear.com LookBook7)

Alright, so assuming you have the attire, now what?

First Rule of Flirting: Teasing

Well let’s jump right into the first step of flirting: Teasing. All you need to do is talk to the girl, and tease her about something. Anything. However, make sure she knows you’re teasing her in a good playful way or she might simply be offended. Tease, show interest and then pull back. Let her tease you and vice-versa.

It’s really that simple. The idea is to not take women so seriously, and instead treat them as if they were your annoying best friend. You really love them but you can’t help but laugh a little when they do something silly. If you want more examples, then simply imagine children playing in a playground. They are professional teasers, usually running around and laughing. That’s what you want, but in a more adult fashion.

Second Rule: Read between the lines

The second key to flirting is to read between the line when speaking with a woman. You should be hinting interest and having her reciprocate without actually saying it. The bulk of flirting is tonality and body language and the best way to learn it is to simply observe guys that are really good at it. A few movie recommendations that immediately come to mind are Top Gun and James Bond movies, watch and observe how they’ll tease women with a slightly serious tone while exuding an attractive body language.

When you’re flirting, any interest that you demonstrate should be subtle! If at any point you cross the subtle line and enter the completely obvious area, you’ll lose the game. Instead, imagine you’re playing a game with her called: “I won’t tell you I’m interested in you until you tell me first” and try to get her to confess her interest first. If you adopt that mentality and practice, you’ll be teaching others how to flirt with girls in no time.

That’s because a lot of the time, those guys come from a place of need. If you’ve ever heard the term “being needy”, then that’s exactly what we’re talking about. If you’ve ever said: “If only I had a girlfriend, then everything would be O.K. and I’d be happy”, then you”re looking for a girlfriend in order to fix your life. This is a huge mistake, but we’ll fix it!

First, Don’t be Needy

The primary step in actually getting a girlfriend is to come from a place of abundance and happiness. Girls will be attracted to you if you’re already content with your life and you’re not looking at them to fill some emotional or physical need that needs filling. Why is that? Well, for one, being needy screams of desperation. Being desperate means that no one else wants you, which consequently lowers your social status and makes you very unattractive. Not to mention, being needy is just annoying, repelling and definitely not something you want in your life.

That being said, there is a huge difference between being needed and being wanted. If you go completely in the opposite direction and you pretend you don’t care at all for a girl, you definitely won’t be any closer to getting a girlfriend in your life. Everyone wants to feel wanted… but for the right reasons. When you’re with a girl that seems to be girlfriend worthy, then make sure she knows, consciously or unconsciously, why you like her.

For example, if she makes you laugh, then just laugh. You can also tell her that she’s witty or cute when she’s clumsy… depending on the circumstances. All that matters is that the girl in question knows that you’re interested in her for the right reasons. If you simply want a girlfriend as a status symbol,  because you feel that she’ll fix everything in your life or simply because you believe that you’ll have more chances of sleeping with her, then she’ll very likely reject you at your first approach.

Instead, make sure she knows why you like her, and have genuinely good reasons that you disclose slowly and subtly over time. Do not, under any circumstances, start professing your love, listing all the reasons why she’s the love of your life. You may have seen such a scene in a movie, where the guy gets the girl by telling her every last little detail about why he likes her, but in reality (and remember, that’s where we live), that simply doesn’t work.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Having someone profess their undying love for you is… well, kind of awkward at best and repelling most of the time. Instead, the next time she does something you like, simply let her know that you noticed it and you enjoy what she did. Then move on and act as if you never said anything. Eventually, she’ll realize that you like her for the right reasons.

So how can you make the switch from being needy to being happy without a girlfriend? Well, the path will differ for many, and on your journey, you’re likely to find a girlfriend without even trying. However, let’s assume you’re already coming from a place of abundance, you’re already happy with your life and you want a girl for the right reasons… then what?

Progression of Time Spent Together

Assuming you already have a girl in mind, the next step you need to take is to spend time with her. The more time you spend with her, the more you are to form a relationship with her. The one commonality that couples have is the following: they all spend a lot of time with each other. Even in long distance relationships, the couples usually end up talking to each other for hours every day. Therefore, if you want any chance of getting a girlfriend, you’re going to have to see her a few times a week.

Even though how often you see each other is very important, it’s actually the progression that is even more important. Allow me to explain. When you first meet a girl, you’re usually going to go out once or twice per week together. Then, as things progress, you’ll end up spending 3-4 days a week together, at which point the relationship will naturally turn into a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, assuming there is attraction involved.

The problem that many guys encounter is that they simply go completely overboard too quickly. Although the progression rate varies tremendously from person to person, if you start calling a girl and asking her to hang out every single night, you’ll come across as needy, which as we covered, is not what we want. Instead, I advocate spending as much time as you want together without it feeling forced. If you lead a relatively empty life and she’s really busy, then you’ll want to match her busy life and hang out maybe once a week at the start. Contrastingly, if she’s free most of the time, then you can can progress much quicker. Ideally, find a girl with as much free time as you, that way you won’t be bored when she’s busy.

Remember To Build Attraction

Finally, the last crucial part of getting a girlfriend is building attraction. Without attraction, you’ll forever get caught up in the “Let’s just be friends” zone which is far from what you want when you like a girl. Remember that attraction is a fire that can be ignited if you mix the right elements together. Make sure to read up on the numerous articles on how to create attraction on How-To Seduction, and refer anyone in need to this how to get a girlfriend article.

Good Looks

Even though this goes against every guide that promotes using personality for attraction, the easiest way to create attraction is to simply look good. Although personality is going to be the determining factor in the long run, if you’re just looking to create quick, raw attraction, then just look your best! It’s really that simple. Looking good for guys involves working out, taking care of your body, trimming your hair and of course, having a nice attire. If you can combine all of those, then all you have to do is show up, say “Hi” and you’re on your way to getting the girl to like you.

However, if you’re going to build even more attraction and sustain it, then you better have some personality and confidence to back it up. Your looks might initially work, but within a few minutes, if you’re as boring as a door knob then that attraction is going to dissipate pretty rapidly. So let’s concentrate on the second aspect that will get girls liking you.

Attraction is Demonstrating Higher Value

Humans are very much alike in the sense that we all want what’s most valuable. If you have the choice between a $5 can opener and a $15 one, then you’re likely to want the more expensive one even if you can’t afford it. (Side Note: I bought the $15 one and it’s amazing) The same thing happens with humans, when you seem more valuable, people will want you… even if that value isn’t based on reality.

You see, pretty much everyone has some value, it’s all about how you present your value to the world that will make the difference. The best way to demonstrate higher value is through stories in which you casually sneak in elements that make you look good. For example, you could be telling the story about the time you went to the beach (already a DHV activity) followed by how you helped push a beached whale back into the ocean (Although you might want to check if that’s humanly possible first).

Casual stories, hopefully better than the one I just made up, are the best ways of showing off your value without outright saying: “Hello, I save whales and I have famous friends” … which would make you look like someone who’s simply bragging.

Qualifying Also Builds Attraction

The next way to build attraction is to turn the tables around. You know how guys are usually chasing the girl? Well in this scenario, we flip the tables and we get the girl to chase the guy instead. When you go into “chasing” mode, you automatically create a strong desire for whatever you’re chasing and nothing will convince you otherwise. So how do you turn the tables? Well the first thing to do is to make a list of ideal qualities you would want in a girl. Figure out exactly how your ideal woman would behave, what personality traits would she have, what kind of occupation and so on. Then once you’re with a girl with whom you would like to create attraction with, simply try to figure out if she matches the imaginary portrait of your ideal woman.

For instance, if you wrote that your ideal woman must like strawberries and long runs in the rain, then simply ask her! Obviously, you’ll want to integrate it into a normal conversation like: “Hey, the other day I had a dream I was running in the rain, it was kind of weird but I liked that idea… what do you think about it? Would you ever run in the rain?” Then simply listen to her response and maybe say… “Oh, well if you don’t like running in the rain, what do you like to do?”. Make her answer questions about herself, allow her to try to convince you to like her and then let her “Win you over”.

When you’re asking her questions, you might actually realize you really don’t like her. It’s a possibility but isn’t that worth finding out early on? Qualifying not only increases attraction, but allows you get to know the girl better. It also builds comfort and finally, it allows you to figure out if you really like her! Guys frequently become much more comfortable at this stage because they realize that the girl in question is in fact, only human.

The key learning how to get a girl to like you is quite a long one, but it always starts by you knowing what you want. From there, you’ll know what you have to do and become to get it.

So what makes a good opener?

Well for the reason above, simply saying “Hi” does work. Sure it’s not very original, but what really matters is what follows after. In fact, there was a group of pick up artists that went out to prove that openers really didn’t matter so they had a little event where they opened all night with the strangest, most ludicrous openers imaginable. You’d have a guy go up to a girl and say: “Hey I lost my friend” and then start talking from there. That was relatively normal, but others such as “Hi, I’m an alien from outer space and I’m here to abduct you” worked just as well.

In essence, anything you say can be a good opener as long as it captures attention.

Here are some of the best openers:

• Hey there (not very classy, I know)
• Hey I have a quick question before I get back to my friends… Who lies more? Men or women ? (overused)
• Did you see the two girls fighting outside? Yeah, they were fighting over a guy.
• Hi, I’m from (interesting place) and I’m just wondering if people are friendly here.

I’d love to hear from the community. If you have a good opener, then please add it in the comments.

If we were to generalize and say that the idea behind attraction is that we’re attracted to people that are valuable, then DHV would be the term to represent increasing that value and DLV would be decreasing in value. The perception of value changes from person to person and therefore what is DLV for one person might not be for another. Here are some general examples of how guys accidentally DLV themselves on a regular basis.

Common Examples of DLV

• Self depreciating humor
• Not having any money
• Insulting (bring down) their friends
• Trying to impress people
• Perform too many favors
• Being “the nice guy”
• Not standing up for themselves
• Bragging about accomplishments
• Being ignorant
• Caring about what others think
• Poor social awareness

These are the most common examples of DLV that one might encounter on a regular basis. Although it’s not always obvious, these tend to lower your value in front of women. There are numerous more that range from being childish to simply being rude, all of which show that you don’t have any class. One of the most frequent DLV’s that I see is that guys put down their friends in front of women. People tend to surround themselves with people that are like them, and if you put your friends down then you’re only putting yourself down by association.

The Exception to DLV

The only exception to DLV being negative is if you say a DLV statement that shows that you really don’t care and you aren’t trying to impress anyone. For instance, if you’re with a girl and you say: “Oh I’m really bad at eating with chopsticks” then although this it’s a DLV, it shows that you aren’t trying to impress her. By actively not trying to impress her, you gain value in her eyes. It’s counter-intuitive in the way that it works, but sometimes by trying not to impress someone, you end up impressing them. It’s like the Simpsons said: “If you don’t care if you’re cool, then you’re cool. ”

As a general rule, displaying lower value is not a good thing. So if you catch yourself putting yourself down from time to time, know that you’re only reducing any possible attraction. Instead, I suggest you adopt a slightly more confident attitude and watch the results!

Direct DHV

The first way, most common and probably the least recommended one is to demonstrate higher value by telling people directly about yourself. Saying, “Oh hi, I’m friends with this celebrity” might increase your status if people think you’re being sincere, but usually they’ll just think you’re trying to impress them and might not believe you in the first place. The risk of direct DHV is that people might think you’re lying, in which case it would be DLV (Demonstration of lower value).

Instead, a good way to DHV while still being direct is to bring up accomplishments and facts about yourself in a contextual situation. For example, if people are talking about traveling, you could mention that you had a good time in New Zealand and that you recommend going to see the beaches with penguins. Contextual DHV works much better because it simply sounds as if you had something to share. In this example, people would be envious that you’re well travelled, cultured and have adventurous mind.

If the conversation is headed in a direction where you can’t possibly DHV naturally, then take charge and steer the conversation where you want it to go. Good story telling is one of the best ways of conveying massive DHV while still seeming natural. For instance, you could be telling the story about your adventure in Peru, and while you were there, you can mention that you absorded the language in a few weeks. Using specific stories, you can DHV as much as you want without coming off as a show off, or someone that’s trying to impress people.

Indirect DHV

However, the absolute best DHV is indirect demonstration of higher values. Indirect means that people around you accidentaly find out about something good that you’ve done. For instance, if you’re just talking on the phone and one of your friends mentions that he left his phone in your Bentley, then you automatically get massive DHV without even mentioning that you had great car. Now you don’t need to have an expensive car to accomplish this, simply get a friend to mention something good about you while others are around and then act modest. If a friend says you’re great, then it’s much more effective.

Finally, if a stranger says that you’re great because of a certain reason, then that’s the ultimate DHV. For instance, if you walk into a place and everyone says “Hi” to you, then you automatically have massive value in that environment. Anyone watching will notice that you’re important, so make sure you get to know the staff in places that you frequent. If they all greet you when you walk in, it will be much easier for you to pick up a girl that’s there that night.

DHV Spikes

Similar to many attraction techniques, DHV spikes must be used in moderation. If you just start listing accomplishments, or if you’re trying too hard then this will have a negative effect on you. People tend to resent people that are too cool, so use it in moderation. That being said, if you’re telling a story and you throw in a little DHV about yourself, that’s called a DHV spike. You’ll want to play around with these in your interactions in order to build attraction to yourself.

Demonstration of higher value is simply letting other people know that you’re a cool, valuable member of society. It can be accomplished directly, indirectly through stories, jewelry, clothes, through your environment and even simply by being surrounded by people that are valuable. There are hundreds of ways to build DHV, just remember to be humble and subtle about it.

Just mix three parts funny with one part cocky and you have a recipe for attraction.

The trick when using cocky and funny statements is that you have to get the balance just right. If you’re too funny, you’ll end up looking like a clown. However, if you’re too cocky, then you’re going come off as arrogant. Finding the right balance between the two is really the key to using this technique, and that’s what most guys will fail to mention. You’ll know you’re getting it right because she’ll be laughing and smiling at the same time. If she gently touches you on the arm as well, then that’s even better and you’re definitely on the right track.

When to Use Cocky and Funny in an Approach

If you plan on trying this out, then I recommend you think of the cocky and funny technique as a spice and only apply it very lightly. It’s very easy to overdo it by using it too frequently which results in the woman losing interest. Don’t over-do it! The best time to use a cocky and funny statement is within the first 5 minutes of meeting her. In the attraction phase, if used properly, it will be a great way of letting her know that you’re confident and funny at the same time.

In my experience, the most effective use of  these statements is when it’s least expected. If you can catch people off-guard with a hilarious and slightly cocky statement, they’ll be laughing and smiling at the same time.  However, as a general rule of thumb, don’t use more than 2 cocky/funny statements per interaction. If you’re doing it more than that, then you’re likely just going to come off as arrogant.

Additional Comments About Building Attraction

Remember that cocky and funny is just a technique, but it’s not who you are. You should be playful, fun to be with and confident. I went to a dinner party not too long ago and met a girl this girl that was wearing a hat and I would periodically take her hat and have her try and get it back from me … I played games like making her kiss me on the cheek in order to get it back, chase me around, etc …

Be PLAYFUL with women. Toy with them in a fun way (it’s all about being light and gentle). If you think about it being playful with a woman is a great way to find out if she’s interested. If she plays along with you then she has given you a positive indicators of interest. If she doesn’t then you need to change your approach.

If you’re going to be using David DeAngelo’s cocky and funny, use it as a spice and don’t overdo it. Even though it’s a great technique, it’s still only one piece of the puzzle. It’s when you put all the pieces of the puzzle together that you start getting phenomenal results with women.