Hey Coach John tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-504649 2012-07-11T16:08:17-04:00 Encouraging Others Through The Power of Coaching TypePad How to Come Across as Real in Leadership and Life tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d834561bbb69e201774341b423970d 2012-07-11T16:08:17-04:00 2012-07-11T16:08:17-04:00 Being Authentic Means Sharing Your Inner Life With Others The body of Christ in America is suffering from a lack of real biblical authenticity. By authenticity I am referring to the character trait that denotes transparency, openness, and, yes, even vulnerability. It is a mysterious willingness to share one’s inner life with others. In many ways, the reason for this lack of transparency seems to be a reactionary response to the fall of so many major ministries over the last 30 years. Many leaders that were household names have fallen from grace - not to mention the thousands of unheard pastors and leaders. (I say that with great sorrow and regret) Our response has spawned a clandestine church - congregations that are hush-hush so to speak, private if you will. Churches have lost their transparency; so much so that it’s difficult to have an honest response to an invitation or altar service. People are no longer willing to share their struggles and weaknesses for fear of being ostracized. So we sit arm and arm with hurting people, often never realizing it. So what can we as leaders learn from this lack of biblical authenticity and how can we correct this malady in the church? Here are three keys: 1. Learn to model biblical authenticity Modeling biblical authenticity does not mean pulling all your skeletons out and sharing every problem you’ve ever had. Rather, it means being willing to simply share your inner life with others - which many have never... Coach John

Being Authentic Means Sharing Your Inner Life With Others

The body of Christ in America is suffering from a lack of real biblical authenticity.    By authenticity I am referring to the character trait that denotes transparency, openness, and, yes, even vulnerability. It is a mysterious willingness to share one’s inner life with others.

In many ways, the reason for this lack of transparency seems to be a reactionary response to the fall of so many major ministries over the last 30 years.  Many leaders that were household names have fallen from grace - not to mention the thousands of unheard pastors and leaders.  (I say that with great sorrow and regret)

Our response has spawned a clandestine church - congregations that are hush-hush so to speak, private if you will.  Churches have lost their transparency; so much so that it’s difficult to have an honest response  to an invitation or altar service.  People are no longer willing to share their struggles and weaknesses for fear of being ostracized.  So we sit arm and arm with hurting people, often never realizing it. 

So what can we as leaders learn from this lack of biblical authenticity and how can we correct this malady in the church?  Here are three keys:

1.  Learn to model biblical authenticity

Modeling biblical authenticity does not mean pulling all your skeletons out and sharing every problem you’ve ever had.  Rather, it means being willing to simply share your inner life with others - which many have never done. 

As leaders we often leave the impression that we’ve never struggled with anything.  This often causes others to question their walk with God and feel as though something is wrong with their experience. 

It’s okay to talk about past disappointments, discouragements and struggles.  Go ahead share a war story and how God brought you through. 

2.  Learn the limits of biblical authenticity.

Although we highly advocate authenticity as a leader/coach, we do recommend guidelines. A good rule of thumb for leaders is: only share deep personal needs with trusted peers or those over you in ministry.  Although we model transparency, sharing your deepest struggles should be reserved for trusted leaders. 

Sharing your deepest needs with those who look to you for leadership could prove to be detrimental, rather than helpful.  Seek out those over you in ministry and find someone to talk to.

3.  Learn to catalyze authenticity.

Don’t wait for others to lead the way when it comes to demonstrating transparency, let it begin with you.  Biblical authenticity often brings down barriers in relationships – quickly.  It frees people to be real - to take off their masks.  The result is real community and genuine biblical closeness.

Do you catalyze authenticity? Or do you play it safe out of fear?

Conclusion:

The bible is a book of authenticity; it pulls punches for no one. It exposes the faults and struggles of its characters, and I might add, without reluctance.  Why? So we can understand how bad people are, no, but rather so we can understand the principle of biblical authenticity. 

Are you authentic? Are you sharing your inner life with others? Maybe today would be a good time to start your journey to biblical authenticity.

Coach John

 

 

 

 

 http://www.heycoachjohn.com/hey_coach_john/2012/07/how-to-come-across-as-real-in-leadership-and-life.html Conversational Leadership in Today's World tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d834561bbb69e20168e630e1fc970c 2012-01-27T20:07:58-05:00 2012-01-30T15:17:47-05:00 All leaders have to develop their communication skills to be effective leaders Does it seem like this generation is becoming relationally dysfunctional, or is it just my thinking? Not long ago in a private discussion with another professor at the university I was introduced to an alarming trend that seems to be affecting the younger generation. My finding was that sociologists are beginning to discover that the upcoming generation is severely lacking in what you and I would call common relational skills. Research reveals that it’s not that our youth are shy, reticent or unsociable. As a matter of fact, in given environments, they can be very social and relational. However, studies reveal that the area of ineptness is in establishing relational rapport with those outside their immediate circle of friends. As you could imagine, this gives them an extreme disadvantage in new settings such as jobs, unfamiliar social situation, and public service areas. I’ll be the first to say I don’t have all the answers. Many of the issues at hand are exacerbated by cultural and philosophical issues. We could blame Facebook, Twitter, and the social media craze, and probably not be too far off base. However, these have become cultural norms that are here to stay. So I would like to simply offer a few biblical-centered, communication, and relational skills that need to be addressed. They are: 1. You must give attention to sharpening your conversational leadership skills. The term “conversational leadership” is becoming a buzz word in... Coach John

All leaders have to develop their communication skills to be effective leaders

Does it seem like this generation is becoming relationally dysfunctional, or is it just my thinking? Not long ago in a private discussion with another professor at the university I was introduced to an alarming trend that seems to be affecting the younger generation. My finding was that sociologists are beginning to discover that the upcoming generation is severely lacking in what you and I would call common relational skills.

Coaching handshakeiStock_000009910915Large revised 2

Research reveals that it’s not that our youth are shy, reticent or unsociable. As a matter of fact, in given environments, they can be very social and relational. However, studies reveal that the area of ineptness is in establishing relational rapport with those outside their immediate circle of friends. As you could imagine, this gives them an extreme disadvantage in new settings such as jobs, unfamiliar social situation, and public service areas.

I’ll be the first to say I don’t have all the answers. Many of the issues at hand are exacerbated by cultural and philosophical issues. We could blame Facebook, Twitter, and the social media craze, and probably not be too far off base. However, these have become cultural norms that are here to stay.

So I would like to simply offer a few biblical-centered, communication, and relational skills that need to be addressed. They are:

1. You must give attention to sharpening your conversational leadership skills.
The term “conversational leadership” is becoming a buzz word in today’s business world. It carries the idea that all leaders have to develop their communication skills to be effective leaders. Why? The primary reason is in order to connect in their relationships.

This is does not mean that all leaders must be eloquent of tongue, (ask Moses about this (See Ex. 4:10-12) but it does mean that all leaders must become masters of everyday conversation in order to relate to others. Jesus was a master at this, thus he could connect with almost anyone.

a. The first lesson in conversational leadership is learning the art of listening well.
Listening well is tough work in today’s information saturated age of technology. There are so many things vying for our attention that our physiological anatomy kicks in and automatically filters out much of the information we hear or have access to. Thank God for that, or we would be driven to insanity by the shear volume of information we deal with daily.

However with that said, I wonder how much we are missing on a daily basis that we really need to be privy to? So listening must become a discipline, it must become intentional if we are to improve in that area.

Conclusion
So my conversation with the professor sparked a whole new area of thought and concern. We actually have just scratched the surface in this blog, however, in order to honor your time and attention span, (LOL) we’ll pick this thought up again next week.

Anyone up for a little homework? If so, try this…This week develop your own awareness concerning how many times you catch your mind drifting in normal, everyday conversation. You may be surprised.

Coach John

 http://www.heycoachjohn.com/hey_coach_john/2012/01/conversational-leadership-in-todays-world-.html