Heather Wardell, Women's Fiction

1001 tasks update: Week 3

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 13:55:00 +0000

In brief, I did five of the six things I'd planned for this week, and the missing sixth was because I forgot it was on the list. :)

Completed as planned:

Task #12, hobby/creative night: another one's done! That's 3 of 8 with no weeks missed.
Task #58, "Body Worlds" exhibit: I have two people willing to go with me and if we can get the time coordinated we're all set!
Task #87, turn dog fur into garments for my mother: I mailed off the sample of fur to the spinner. When I get anything back, I will report!
Task #101, New York Times bestseller: I dug deeper into Aardvark's story this week, and have just under 11,000 new words to show for it.

NOT completed as planned:

Task #45, organizing jewelry: I didn't add it to my weekly list of things to do, and therefore I forgot all about it. Will add it to this week.

Ongoing task updates and other news:

I filled in two of the eight tasks I hadn't yet discovered. #1 is a secret project, and #2 is making a case for my Palm.
Task #77, Run 1001 miles/1611 km: up to 50.3km.
Task #94, 5 creative hours/day: the last 4-week period's average is 2:35. I am aiming for 3 in the next 4-week period. (Rest assured I'm not sitting around watching soap operas with the rest of my days... I am also the maid/cook/laundry service. :) But I do still want to see this number higher.) The next update on this will be in four weeks.

Planned for this week:

#2: I will make a case for my Palm.
#12: Another hobby/creative night with Mr. W. This time, I plan to work on #89, attempting to invent a shawl pattern.
#45: I'll put an hour into organizing my jewelry.
#58: I will get the Body Worlds trip booked.
#76-78: I will run three times this week.
#101: continue working on Aardvark. The new material is written, now I "just" have to go through the entire book and reassemble it properly. :)

It doesn't sound like a lot, but I think it's enough.

Have a great week!

1001 tasks update: Week 2

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:39:00 +0000

I'm a day late, but oh well. I'm still counting it. :)

Here's what I've been up to on my 101 tasks list.

Task #12: Mr W and I did our second "hobby-creative" night.
Task #16: I gave a stranger a compliment during the 10km race I ran yesterday... she ran by in a pink knitted hat with a pig face on the front and I couldn't help yelling out, "I like your hat!"
Task #44: Posting this update now. :)
Task #77: I have run 42.3km of the planned 1611km since October 21st. 1001 miles seemed like it'd be a huge number but maybe it won't be that hard to get there? We shall see.
Task #84: The Glorious Violence shawl continues to progress. I won't update its yarn usage every time, since the balls of yarn weigh 25 grams and have 500 yards of yarn in them so I'd need a way more accurate scale than I have to report the yarn. But I'm moving along toward the 500 yard first ball mark!
Task #94: I am actively focusing on increasing the hours I spend in creative writing-related work. I track them with my Palm and update a spreadsheet every 4 weeks, so I won't be updating this task except as the spreadsheet's updated. But it's definitely a focus for me.
Task #101: To move closer to being a New York Times Number One Bestseller, I have worked hard this week on Aardvark, and have accepted that what I have is good but good isn't enough and I need to go deeper and work harder to get at the true heart of the story.

Here's what I plan to be up to this week:

Task #12: Do a "hobby-creative night" with Mr W if I can. This week MIGHT not happen, because our cat Sapphire is having her teeth cleaned tomorrow and we might not be able to focus tomorrow night, which is when we usually do these things, but if not, next week for sure.
Task #45: Spend at least an hour working on purging/organizing my jewelry.
Task #58: The "Body Worlds" exhibit - I will look into when it is and check whether some likely suspects would want to go with me. If not, I'll decide when I'm going on my own!
Task #76/77/78: Follow my running program so I get faster AND get closer to the 1611 km goal.
Task #87: I collected a sample of golden retriever fur from my mother weeks ago and haven't mailed it to the potential spinner. I WILL do that this week!
Task #101: Keep working on Aardvark and let the story unfold the way it wants to.

All right! I will report back at the end of this week (which means Sunday, but after the aforementioned 10km race I didn't have the oomph last night to post) on how I've done this week.

If any of you are doing 101 lists of your own please let me know - I'd love to follow your progress! :)

1001 days until I'm 40

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:27:00 +0000

Yeesh. How did that happen? And it's even less now, because that was Saturday!

A little background is in order. I recently set a goal that I want to achieve by the time I turn 40. To keep the goal in my mind, I added a gadget to my Windows Vista sidebar that kept count of how many days I had to achieve the goal. On Saturday the gadget informed me I had 1001 days, which of course made me think of my "101 tasks in 1001 days" list.

The list which I've been ignoring.

Yet again, I've got things on my list that don't matter to me. At all. And I want them all to matter. I don't want the list to be stuff like 'clean under the bed'! Who cares? I want it to be full of things that make me a better and more interesting person or a better and more interesting writer. (And of course, if something can do both that's fantastic.) I want the items to be fun for me to do, or challenging, or a little strange. I want them to help me live a more exciting life.

So I am re-creating my list. Item #101 is the above-mentioned goal. (Don't skip to the bottom! Read 'em all. :) (Except maybe the first eight- I haven't figured out what they are yet!)

Items in progress are in bold print. When I finish one, it'll be crossed out.

101 TASKS IN 1001 DAYS: October 17, 2009 - July 14, 2012

Put at least 10 hours into the secret project I thought of last week. Nobody on the planet knows what this project is but me and that amuses me. It's NOT writing-related, though, I'll give you that much. :) (0/10)
Make a case for my Palm that holds both the device and the phone headset so I don't keep misplacing the headset.
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Coming soon!

Experiences
Buy nothing but essential groceries for one full month. Keep track of the value of what I do not buy.
Celebrate July as my birthmonth each year by doing at least one fun/unusual activity each July.
Create three playlists in iTunes and on the Palm: one to pump me up, one to relax me, and one for when I'm feeling doubtful about my ability to carry on. (0/3)
Do at least eight weekly "hobby/creative" nights with Mr. W, in which we each work on a work- or home-related project that's new and a bit different for us. (If we have to miss a week that's fine, but missing two means the count starts over.) (Begun October 20th, now 3/8, #1: I read a writing book, he did research into new cars, #2: I researched planning and organizational methods, he did work-related research, #3: I built a spreadsheet tracking prices in our favorite online fighting game, Atlantica Online, and he did work-related research)
Each January, rearrange all the pictures in our picture frames and refresh my digital frame.
Find/make an excuse to rent a car for at least a day, and choose something different or fun to drive.
Fly first-class.
Give 20 strangers a compliment. (1/20 - at a running race, )
Give five "I saw this and thought of you" gifts. (0/5)
Go an entire day, including at least some time in public, without speaking, (Writing notes is acceptable if necessary.) See how it feels to be completely silent.
Go back to New York. Stay more than two nights. (Avoid LaGuardia if possible. :)
Go back to the beach near our old house where I fell in love with Harry Potter book 1. Read the last chapters of book 7.
Go through my makeup and throw out everything I haven't used in the last month. No "I might use it someday." You won't. We know this. (This is insanely hard for me... I'm convinced I'll want that lipstick someday!)
Go to a ballet.
Go to a drive-in movie.
Go to a Leafs game, either at home or elsewhere.
Go to a performance of "The Messiah" at Christmas.
Go to a rock concert.
Go to an aquarium. (The one in the living room does not count :)
Go to an opera.
Go to Kuwait to visit Tanya. Try everything, even things I think I won't like. (booked for January 2010! :)
Go to Ste. Annes spa at least three times. (0/3)
Go to the train station with Mr. W or a friend, pick any random train that is leaving within 10 minutes, buy a ticket and go discover the city where the train is going.
Go to three new-to-me restaurants (chain restaurants do NOT count). (0/3)
If the UFC or another mixed martial arts organization comes to Toronto, do everything legally possible to get tickets.
Learn one magic trick with which to entertain people. It must be simple to set up. Show it to at least three groups of people. Never tell how it's done. (0/3)
Leave a ridiculously generous tip for great service. (0/3)
Make a $25 loan at www.kiva.org.
Make croissants. The recipe I have takes three days but I bet they're worth the effort. Maybe at Christmas?
Make something weird (jam?) in the breadmaker.
Next time I see them at the grocery store, buy Grapples. They're apples with grape flavouring added, and they smell amazing. (They're also $5 for 4, which is why I haven't bought them previously.)
No swearing for 28 full days. (I've done two weeks… can I handle 28 days?)
Pay for someone behind me at a drive-thru. (0/3)
Pick a Guitar Hero song and learn to drum it on Expert.
Play laser tag.
Post weekly status updates on this list's progress. (3/143 - I'm counting this initial post)
Purge my jewelry so I keep only the pieces I adore.
Read "Life of Pi".
Read "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch.
Read a book on Canadian history (non-fiction).
Read a novel a day for one full week. (0/7) (These novels can help fulfill other tasks if I want.)
Read the 11 paper books I currently have in my 'to be read' collection. Review them on my blog, and release at least six of them to bookcrossing.com.
Read two Pulitzer Prize-winning novels. (0/2)
Replace as many of these as I want with new items on or around the 500 day mark, which is March 1, 2011. (Items can be replaced only if I no longer feel they matter, not if I just can't be bothered.)
Reread "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand.
Roll a 6-sided die 1001 times and see whether the results are random or not. If not, use whatever number comes up most often in some way to pick a lottery ticket.
See at least one Fringe Festival play each summer. (0/3)
See every movie that's released in March 2011 (randomly selected month), regardless of whether I think I'll like it.
See Meat Loaf in concert if he's anywhere near us.
See the "Body Worlds" exhibit at the Science Centre. (real body parts!) Take Mr. W if he'll go, or find some other sucker... err... buddy, or go alone if need be.
See the Arrogant Worms in concert if they're anywhere near us.
Send an anonymous Valentine's Day card.
Send someone an anonymous gift, something they really need or want.
Sleep out on the balcony for one night.
Spend a day at the Royal Ontario Museum.
Spend a rainy or snowy day doing nothing but reading and drinking tea (and maybe eating a bit too).
Take a spur of the moment road trip (one Friday evening, just take off!).
Take at least one "we do nothing but hang out and be together" vacation with Mr. W each year. (0/3)
Take my camera to three separate family/friend occasions. Take at least one picture and be IN at least one picture at each event. (0/3)
Try ten new recipes. (0/10)
Visit 7 cities so their initials make up the word Heather. (0/7) (need two different ones for E and T!)
Watch all six Rocky movies over a weekend. (long weekend? :) (0/6)
Watch the polar bears at the zoo on a particularly cold day.
Write 10 encouraging notes and leave them out somewhere in public.(0/10)
Write and mail a fan letter to Forrest Griffin, referencing that I named the male lead in "Go Small or Go Home" Forrest and that my sister named her cat Griffin. See if he responds.
Write my autobiography, just for my own reference and not for public consumption. Update annually on or around my birthday.
Write my parents a gratitude letter.

Fitness-Related
Run a sub-30 minute 5km. (Best time: 35:19)
Run at least 1001 miles (1611 km). (50.3/1611, last update Nov 8/09)
Run a half marathon in less than 2.5 hours. (Current best: 2:40)
Complete 100 pushups in one go. (This will likely necessitate at least two trips through the 6-week pushup challenge, as my current trip won't get me much higher than 50.)
Eat an apple a day for 28 days.
Do NOT begin any weight loss program during these 1001 days. DO continue running and exercising and eating healthy food, but there will be no weight loss focus unless at a doctor's command. Write a blog post explaining my reasoning.
Do 5-10 minutes daily of posture-correcting exercises for 28 days.
Eat only raw food for two consecutive days.

Crafting-Related
Put at least 1000 yards of yarn into the Glorious Violence shawl (this is made of lavender cashmere lace yarn and is being made only at/while watching hockey games and mixed martial arts). (300/1000+, depending on the shawl's size)
Make Glorious Violence mitts if there's any cashmere lace yarn left over.
Hand-dye either yarn or a finished project, possibly the Glorious Violence shawl and/or mitts. Accept and even enjoy the no-doubt-imperfect results.
Have my mother's bag of golden retriever fur spun then crochet her a hat/mitts/scarf set with fur trim. (Sample of fur sent to spinner Nov 5/09)
Knit the "Hand like a Hole" fingerless mitts. Relax and enjoy it so the finished mitts won't be tainted by "knitting makes me tense" vibes.
Put at least five hours into inventing a shawl pattern. I keep insisting that I'm not creative in that way, but maybe I am and I'm just not letting it out. (0/5)
Sew myself a skirt.
Sew myself an infinity dress (http://www.rostitchery.com/infinity-dress.html) from the pink fabric in my cupboard that I don't remember why I bought.
Turn the Christmas pillow front Mr. W latch-hooked into an actual pillow by Christmas 2009.

Writing-Related
Spend at least three half-hour sessions working on my signature so I have a classy one instead of the childish scribble I have now. (0/3)
Reach an average of five hours of creative work per day. If I can't reach five without negatively affecting my work, be happy with wherever I get. (Current: 3)
Turn three of my book ideas into short stories. If I feel like it, they can be posted here or I can try to sell them but that is absolutely not a requirement.
Write "morning pages" (three handwritten stream-of-consciousness pages) for 28 days straight. (0/28)
Write a screenplay, of whatever length feels right, after doing some research into screenplay conventions. No need to do anything with it unless I feel like it.
Write at least three flash horror stories and submit at least one to the Twitter horror stories thing.
Do Julia Cameron's "Walking in this World" program in a 4-week-on-4-week off pattern (the program takes 12 weeks total, so this way will take me 20.) In the off weeks, continue to think about what I've learned.
Do Julia Cameron's "other" program, either in the same way or straight through depending on how I think it'll work best.
Have at least one of my books reach the number one spot on the New York Times bestseller list. This is the goal I mentioned at the beginning. By the time I turn 40, I will have had at least one book reach this lofty height. I am determined. I AM a New York Times bestseller. They just don't know it yet. :)

So there's the list. I like it. A lot. And I think I'll be quite a different person by the time I turn 40!

If you have any suggestions for the missing first eight, I'd love to hear 'em! :)

My winter preparations are complete

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 01:29:00 +0000

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Let the table come to you

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 02:05:00 +0000

Yesterday afternoon I went to Starbucks to work. I go about once a week or so - more often, I'd be broke and twice my weight. :) I like to save it for when I am feeling particularly lacking in motivation, or when there's construction in my condo building and the noise is distracting. Yesterday was a bit of both.

When I got there, no tables were empty. Most of the tables are two-person, but the four-person one by the window had one woman at it. I could have gone there, in a pinch, but I don't like to share tables and I didn't know if she would either.

Worry rose in me as I waited for my drink (peppermint white chocolate mocha, in case you were wondering) but I told myself, "You will find a table. It will work out." I repeated this to myself as I took my drink and began walking toward the four-person table. "It will work out. You'll find a spot."

When I drew level with the last table before the four-person, the man at that table stood up. I asked if he was done, and he was, and I got my own table. And I got tons of work done.

Did believing I'd find a spot make it happen? I don't know. But it's sure a lot less stressful than telling myself, "You're crazy to think there'll be any space for you. Look at how busy this place is" like I used to do.

You may notice (if I've done it right) that I've turned the comments back on. To be frank, I had them off because I feel uncomfortable when a post doesn't get comments. I feel like I failed to interest anyone enough to comment. But I have missed reading your comments, and while several people took the time to email me directly, it's not the same and I know it. So, they're back on. Comment away! :)

How I feel about Wal-Mart

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:48:00 +0000

I wear my heart on my... loaf?

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:55:00 +0000

I decided to make bread this morning. It did not go as planned.

I put all the ingredients for my current favourite loaf (Light Oat Bread using 1 tbsp of olive oil instead of 2 tbsp of margarine) into the breadmaker. We've had a bit of trouble with said machine (the base of the pan kind of rusted because someone kind of left it in the sink sitting in water instead of washing it like she kind of meant to do) but Mr. W had oiled it and all seemed to be well.

Today, instead of its usual few half turns and then an energetic spinning away at the dough, the breakmaker made a few pathetic half-turn attempts and then a faint whining sound but no spinning. So I dumped all the (unmixed) ingredients into a bowl and decided to try out being my own breadmaker.

This was at about 9:30 this morning. It's now 6 pm and the heels of my hands are STILL sore from kneading the dough. (I am a delicate one at times... my favourite story about this is the time I was assisting the school's (really good former national team member) volleyball coach in serving to the kids and having them return my serves, and I couldn't bring myself to tell him I had to quit because my hand hurt, so I kept going and and ended up with the heel of my hand seriously bruised as a result. He was impressed and a bit pitying at the same time. :)

The dough, theoretically, was supposed to get smooth and elastic. I have no idea how this is supposed to look, so I kneaded until I lost interest (about 6 minutes, I'd say) and then let it rise for an hour.

It got HUGE, which seemed like a good sign, so I kneaded it again and then put it in a loaf pan to rise again. It did, as the picture shows, but it was already thinking about overflowing and I was afraid it'd get too big for the pan when I baked it so I cooked it on a cookie sheet instead.

Not sure why, frankly, since now that I think about it it makes sense for it to spill out a little bit to make that nice bread shape.

But oh well. Here's what I got.

In the first picture you can see the dough looks vaguely jellyroll-ish. The instructions I found online said to fold it like a business letter into three parts. Why a business letter and not some other letter, I know not, but I envisioned a query letter and folded 'er up.

Only to have 'er unfold in the oven.

While I doubt it's exactly going to set the world on fire for sandwiches, it was kind of nice having two hearts with peanut butter and strawberry jam for lunch. :)

In other news, I was cleaning the house (no, that's not the news, I do it pretty often) and singing along to The Dana Owens Album (Queen Latifah doing jazz and R&B classics - link goes to Amazon where you can hear some clips) - I am no singer but I like to belt stuff out when there's nobody but the cat to hear me.

And as I was singing I realized what the new book, Blueberry, was missing. I felt like the main character needed something, another interest or subplot... and now I know. She's a jazz singer. Not as a career, just for fun. And someone'll push her to go further with it.

I love when my random stuff actually clicks for a book. :)

Aardvark's first scene!

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:10:00 +0000

I'm thrilled with this and want to share. :)

I spent over an hour today revising just these few paragraphs, but I think they're doing what I want now. I'm glad to know, from past books, that the first scenes are always the slowest for me, or I might be anticipating a completion date for Aardvark of somewhere around the year 3000!

Here it is!

Chapter One

My eyes open to a blurred whiteness, and I blink until it resolves itself into the airbag beneath my cheek. Images rush into my mind, scrambled snapshots of my car skidding off the icy road and plunging down into trees and darkness, and I jerk upright and grab for the door handle.

Huge mistake. My stomach lurches below my mile-a-second heart and my brain spins in all directions at once.

I collapse onto the airbag and take slow deliberate breaths to force back the panic and nausea. In, hold, out, hold, repeat. At first it dizzies me even more but I persist, counting the breaths in my head and focusing on the numbers, and begin to regain my much-needed control.

Once I reach twenty, I cautiously sit up and run my mind over my body, assessing the situation. My head's not spinning any more, and my pounding heart and churning stomach are settling down. Nothing else is clamoring for my attention.

Relief fills me, soothing my insides even more, along with amazement at my luck. I could have been badly hurt, but I've escaped without a scratch. Not wanting to spend another second in the car, I undo my seatbelt then open my door and swing my legs around to get out.

Unbearable pain rips through my left leg, and the whiteness rises to claim me again.

Would you keep reading? Drop me a note if you have comments! :)

A writing update

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:36:00 +0000

I don't think of this blog as being exclusively about my writing, because I myself am not exclusively about my writing. But I do like to occasionally make it clear that I am still writing.

So here's where we're at.

The book code-named "Aardvark" is finished in its second draft. I, frankly, adore it. It was uncooperative at times, but that's because it resonates with me in a way nothing else has so far. In it, a woman's car slides off a deserted icy road leaving her trapped and bleeding, and between escape attempts she comes to realize she's focused her life on everything except what really matters. I love the character and the realizations she finds, and so far the people who've read it (my sister, my friend TS and Mr. W) seem to agree.

I will be beginning the final revisions on Aardvark next week. I am both excited and nervous: I have some fears that I'll mess this up because I really care about it, but I think that my care for it will also make sure I don't go too far afield.

I have also been looking for the next book, Blueberry. (In case you want to keep track, the next one will be codenamed Cookie, and the next Dragonfly. Mr. W gets to choose the codenames... he was gunning for Dodecahedron for the D name but I refused on the grounds that I have to think too hard when I type it.)

I had a great story coming together for Blueberry, deep and interesting and moral and all that. Unfortunately, it's not MY story. Dean Koontz or Stephen King could do it justice (and if they want it they're welcome to email me :) but it just isn't the kind of thing I want to tell. And I have recognized that and set it aside, which was nervewracking because I'd spent well over a month on it and what if I didn't find another one?

Well, I did. The new Blueberry involves Kegan from my free book "Life, Love, and a Polar Bear Tattoo" (go download it if you haven't already :), but it's not really a follow-up to "Polar Bear". It's just singing for me now and I love it. So I'll be editing Aardvark and working on Blueberry's outline and I'll be busier than the proverbial one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest (which saying always makes me wonder a) why'd he want to enter the contest and b) why would ANYONE enter the contest??) and I think I will be loving the whole thing.

I'm lucky enough to have a job I love. I even love the parts that make me twitchy and insane. (More insane.) Very lucky.

And now, off to bed to let my mind wander through Blueberry and see what happens. (I only track "writing time" when I'm actually at the desk, but all the good stuff arrives when I'm half asleep. Yet another of the mysteries of this job!)

For all the caffeine addicts out there

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 03:12:00 +0000

An adorable lolcat!!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

The joys of a politely worded complaint letter

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 02:38:00 +0000

Back in June, I was bemoaning the dishwasher install in which Home Depot's two computer systems had different ideas of what my delivery date should be. At the time, I vowed to write a "strongly worded letter to Home Depot asking for my $50 delivery charge back." I didn't think it'd work but I felt the need to try.

Well, it DID work! I got a phone call from the store manager offering either a gift card or a discount on another appliance. The only appliance we could get at the moment is a microwave, since we are currently using the microwave oven that Mr. W had when I met him (in 1994!). There's rust in it (yes, really) but it still seems to be working well and I think we kind of want to see whether it'll still be running in another .... I just did the math and it gave me heart failure... 16 more years... how did I get so old?? I remember 1994 like it was yesterday. I barely remember yesterday, frankly, but 1994 is clear in my mind. Egad.

Wow.

Anyhow, if the microwave does give up the ghost, it'd probably be easier to just have a gift card instead of a discount on an appliance, so I politely requested such and it arrived in the mail yesterday! The polite but clearly worded letter did the trick. I'm impressed with Home Depot, I must say.

If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to sit over here and mutter, "1994. How could that be?" for a while.

Stoned in the parking lot

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:16:00 +0000

Got your attention? :)

So yesterday I went grocery shopping. As I was unloading my cart into the car, a wasp came over to see if I'd bought anything good.

I am not a fan of wasps. Or bees or house flies or anything that goes buzz right as it goes past my ear and makes me jump. So I tried to shoo it away, but it would not be shooed. Perhaps it was the same wasp who ruined my outdoor sit-and-work session at the nearby Starbucks and it was there to apologize? Okay, perhaps not.

But anyways, it wouldn't leave me be, and it was still dancing around my cart's handle when it was time to drive it back to the cart corral. So I didn't want to hold the handle, in case the wasp touched me, but I hate people who leave their cart littering the parking lot and I won't be one of those people.

A plan struck me, and I pushed the cart ahead of me and let it roll, then pushed it again, making sure each time that I wasn't anywhere near the still-hovering wasp, until I got to the corral, where I then nudged it into place.

But the wasp, maybe aware that I was about to run away, landed on my arm!

In my best dignified fashion, I threw my arms around and scurried away, and the wasp decided to stay behind. Hurrying back to the car, I kept brushing at my arms and I actually muttered out loud, "Don't touch me."

That's when I saw the sweet old lady standing by her car staring at me in a "I've dialed 9 and 1, don't make me do the other 1" kind of way.

Not stoned. Not covered in imaginary spiders. Just afraid of wasps and a little paranoid. I was going to try to explain it to her, but I figured it would just make things worse so I drove home snickering to myself. (Which, now that I think of it, probably looked weird too.)

Oh, well. At least I didn't get stung!

You may notice two things:

a) I haven't been posting daily. I missed one day because I forgot until I was about to fall asleep and I wasn't going to get up to post, and then the whole chain just fell apart. I am working on a philosophy of "no berating myself", so I won't apologize or beat myself up. I'm back now, though!

b) I've turned off the comments field. This doesn't mean I'm not interested in your opinions, though, so feel more than free to email me through my profile. I've noticed that a lot of my favourite blogs don't have the comments enabled and I'm going to try it myself and see how it works for me. If it works, or doesn't, for you, email and let me know.

"District 9" - a must-see

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 03:04:00 +0000

I have never, NEVER, seen a movie like this.

Saying "District 9 is about aliens" is like saying "Harry Potter is about a boarding school". True as far as it goes, but there's so much more going on.

The basic summary (no spoilers, don't worry) is that aliens appeared over Johannesburg, South Africa, about twenty years ago. When they didn't emerge from the ship, troops went in and found them sick and dying. Not wanting to leave them to die, they brought the aliens down to Earth adn placed them in a 'temporary' camp called District 9. They've been there for twenty years, over the increasing objections of the local residents, and now it's time to move them to a more secure facility, District 10.

Needless to say, this move doesn't go exactly as planned, but the ways in which it doesn't surprised and amazed me. There were deeply gross moments, there were spots where the whole theatre laughed out loud, and I did get teary on two occasions. (But bear in mind I sometimes cry at TV commercials, so your mileage may vary on that one. :) This so isn't the typical "aliens appear over the United States" kind of movie, and I loved that. I left the theatre absolutely silent, my head spinning, and Mr. W and I have been talking about it for the last hour.

One down side: there's a bit of the "Cloverfield" style of filming. If you didn't see that movie, it's the "cam-corder" kind of thing, where it's constantly shaking. I didn't find this movie anywhere near as bad (I spent most of "Cloverfield" staring at my lap and wishing I didn't feel too sick to eat popcorn, and the people in our theatre for it actually cheered when the main cameraman died because we got a break from the shaking) but it did have its moments.

It's so worth it, though. It sometimes seems like everything out there is the same... one kind of book, one kind of movie, standard and predictable. This isn't that movie, and I hugely recommend it. At one point I found myself thinking, "Damn, I wish I'd written this story."

If you go, let me know what you think!

Short but hilarious

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 02:52:00 +0000

From "I can has cheezburger" but not a lolcat. Amazing!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I just love his little face and his attitude. Buddy thinks he rules the world. :)

101 in 1001: #40: Eddie Bauer reusable bag

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 00:48:00 +0000

On my birthday, July 14th, I cleared at least three of my 101 tasks. I will blog them over the next few days, without letting myself get all ridiculous about which one came first or anything like that.

I'd seen a fancy little reusable shopping bag that folded into its own pouch at Eddie Bauer and wanted it. I don't like getting all those plastic bags at the book store or drug store, and now that they're actually charging for those I REALLY don't want them.

I've crocheted a number of grocery bags, and they're fabulous but kind of bulky to keep in my purse. This little one was different, and on my birthday I was delighted to go out and pick one up.

Here is my bag folded up. I left the space around it in this picture so that you could see how it compares to the next picture.

It's a little zippered pouch that fits easily in the palm of my hand.

And here it is unfolded, filled with two packs of cork tiles, twenty duotang folders, four notebooks, two packs of pushpins, and a partridge in a... no, wait, never mind. But the other stuff is all in there, and I let it artfully (awkwardly?) slide out so you could see it.

See the pouch on the lower front? It's got a double-sided zipper, and you just unzip it and pull out the bag. The pouch can even be used as a little pocket while you're shopping.

Similar to having a pen in my purse (which I don't always do), having my own easy-to-use shopping bag with me makes me feel wildly organized and efficient, and it's nice to feel that way occasionally, isn't it? :)

It's not good to be the queen

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 18:41:00 +0000

The queen of analysis paralysis, that is. In my first career, as a software developer, we used that term to refer to getting stuck over-analyzing and over-studying something instead of just actually doing it. And oh, that so describes me at the moment.

I want to do the perfect blog post every time, and so I start worrying about which thing to post about first, and exactly what to say, and when do I update the 101 tasks counter, and... and then I do nothing.

And now the blog has cobwebs hanging on it, and I feel annoyed with myself for not blogging but can't bring myself to do so because I want it to be perfect. I am in a rut so deep I can't see out, and it's largely because if things aren't 110% perfect I don't do 'em.

So. I will fix this. How? By doing my own NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). For the next thirty days, I will post daily. Some of them will be good posts. Some, probably not so much. But I will be here. Because if I'm not here, how can any of them be good posts?

Part of my present whiny-pants mood is because I was at the dentist this morning to fix a broken tooth. (He poked at it and said, "Hmm, the rest looks strong so it shouldn't have broken." Well, that may be, but here we are.) I have a strange reaction to the anesthetic - it gets stronger as time goes by. During the repair I was slightly frozen, mostly around the right side where he'd put in the stuff. An hour later I was frozen down my throat, up to my right eye, and right across my face. It's been nearly three hours now and it's only just peaking, I think. Yuck.

I, of course, was starving (because I always am when it's inconvenient), but I can't eat or drink properly with my face refusing to respond, so I put chocolate milk into the squirt bottle I use for Gatorade when I run. So my chocolate milk tasted vaguely orange (yes, I wash the bottle but the Gatorade chemicals are tougher than soap, apparently) and even with the squirt bottle I still managed to get some down my front. I'm such a classy broad. :)

I feel like curling up on the couch with a hot chocolate and some crocheting and watching some movie I've seen a billion times (hello, Blades of Glory!), but I do want to keep working on Blueberry. Yes, the newest book's outline is nearly ready to go. I HAVE been doing stuff, just not here.

In case anyone does not know the brilliance that is Blades of Glory, I present the trailer. If you don't find this hilarious, you and I are very different people!

A freebee you don't want to miss

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:40:00 +0000

I read and enjoy Steve Pavlina's work and he recently posted a link to a free Paraliminal download that I recommend everyone pick up.

Paraliminals, essentially, are recordings with two voices at the same time, one in each ear. (Headphones are recommended.) The one that's being given away at the moment is Peak Performance.

I downloaded it ages ago and just tried it today, when I was feeling wiped out from a long hot training run but still need to get groceries and work on the new book.

It begins with a brief explanation and the instruction to choose an upcoming performance/event/task to focus on, then one voice talks you into relaxation. The other voice then begins, and at first they alternate but then they're speaking at once, both giving information and encouragement on reaching the goal you set at the beginning.

When the two voices overlapped, I felt a brief hit of panic because I couldn't follow them individually, but then I let go and just sort of drifted between the two voices, picking up words from both.

The result? 22 minutes later, I am almost too energetic to sit here and type. I am wide awake and ready to go, but not jumpy in any way. Just revved up.

The link is at http://www.stevepavlina.com/free-paraliminal and the download offer ends on August 16th. I didn't have to register or anything to get it, and it comes as a single MP3 file. Check it out. All you have to lose is your fatigue and lack of energy. :)

And while you're there, check out Steve Pavlina's work as well. I find him very inspiring and maybe you will too!

I'm slow, but I'm getting it

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:34:00 +0000

Many people live by the whole "it's not the destination, it's the journey" philosophy. I am not one of them, to the point that I had to type the saying above very carefully to avoid my usual reversal. I do think the journey matters, but I have so much trouble focusing on that without letting the "when exactly are we going to arrive, anyhow?" attitude take me over.

Needless to say, as an unpublished author of three full novels and one second draft (yes, I finished Aardvark! :), I need to get with the journey-related program.

And I am. Mostly. Occasionally.

I'm pretty good with it on the writing front now. My last two books in particular were a joy for me at all stages of the process, even during the inevitable "there is NO WAY this random assortment of words will become a book" stages. I am far less stressed about the whole selling thing, since I'm loving the writing side so much, and having made "Polar Bear" available for free and the subsequent nice feedback it's received has made it clear to me that giving the books away for free is a viable option for me. It's not my first choice, but it's an option and a decent one.

Where I am not so good with the "smell the roses along the way" concept is my running. I am slow. Even my "sprints" are slower than most people's steady pace. And I don't want to be slow.

So what do I do? I go too fast, then take way too long walk breaks, and repeat this back-and-forth for the duration of the race. Of course, the "too fast" parts catch up to me, and near the end of the race I'm wondering how badly a broken ankle hurts and whether that'd be less painful than the running and how exactly one would break her own ankle on a flat race course. (Although, I AM the one who fell on the road during a training run and scraped up both my back and my cheekbone, so if there's a way, I could do it.)

This is obviously not the most fun way to run.

So today I decided to do a treadmill run at a slower pace without taking the walk breaks. I wanted to see just how far I could go without a break, and whether that would end up being a better speed.

I hesitate to give my running speeds, but what the heck, you deserve a good laugh.

My last long training run's speed averaged 8:09 minutes/km, according to my Garmin training watch. I remember that run as being a painful slog, and my pace varied wildly over the 7.35 km, from several 7 min/km bursts all the way down to a dreadfully slow 10:33 min/km which included a huge walk break because I just couldn't run any more.

Today, I decided to set the treadmill for 7:45 min/km. Slow, even for me, but I wanted to see what I could do.

I surprised myself. I ran for the first 15 minutes, then took a break because I'd said beforehand I wouldn't go longer than 15. (I am always afraid I'll overdo it on the running and hurt myself. This is oddly at variance with my insistence on boxing the life out of myself every time I go into the Wii boxing games.) Then I ran another 10 minutes before taking a phone call (I am so hardcore, yes?) and then another 15 after that!

Average speed?

7:55 min/km. And I felt great after and well able to continue.

So, the hard-fought run was considerably slower than the pleasant one, and much more painful.

Will I remember this the next time I'm struggling with a training run? I don't know, but I hope so.

When they say "slow and steady wins the race" they're right. Winning my own personal race, anyhow. And no broken ankles required!

Is there anywhere that slowing down would work a little better for you? Maybe give it a try?

Blog on the move!

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:13:00 +0000

I have wanted to move the blog onto my web site for a while, and I finally figured out Blogger's custom domain feature to do exactly that!

If all has gone well, the blog is now at http://blog.heatherwardell.com instead of the old address. The old address will keep forwarding you here, but feel free to update your bookmarks!

I feel all official somehow. :)

101 in 1001: #95: Buy a custom-made shirt

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:42:00 +0000

I finished several of my 101 tasks last week, but have been sadly remiss in blogging their completion. I will remedy that this week, starting with the task I just finished.

#95: Buy myself a custom-made shirt from Ureshii.etsy.com.

I sent an Etsy message to the seller on my birthday last week, listing my measurements to make sure the top would be suitable. She wrote back and said it would be, and so I have just now ordered it!

The picture to the left comes from the Ureshii web site. My top will be in the Deep Sea colour, which is a lovely rich teal.

Isn't it a pretty style? I can't wait to see how it comes out! The fabric is soft and stretchy, and I think I'll be wearing this top a LOT this winter.

Ordering it to fit ME, instead of buying clothes and trying to stuff myself into them... it's different for me. I like it.

She has a dress in a similar style that I also really like... hmmm.... :)

This could be my Sapphire!

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:59:00 +0000

I know, I don't blog for ages and then I post a LOLcat. But this picture is SO just like my cat Sapphire that I couldn't resist!

While I've never seen her fanging on a church, she does like to do that along the edge of our shopping cart. (When you live in a condo, it's way easier to get groceries upstairs when you own one of those senior-citizen-type white wire shopping carts. Yet again, I am old before my time. :)

Anyhoo, here's my Sapphire lookalike! And I plan to blog about all the 101 tasks I've finished - I've been busy! Shortly. :)

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Saturday Silliness

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 21:52:00 +0000

If you've read "Twilight", or seen the movie, you'll love this!

Twilight in 30 seconds with bunnies.

Revised 101 tasks in 1001 days list

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:40:00 +0000

Here's my new list! I have worked hard to make sure that this time the items all matter to me AND aren't going to be annoyingly repetitive. I've also put in an escape hatch: on my birthday next year and the year afterward, I can change as many tasks as I want. I'm hoping this will keep me interested in the project throughout.

My start date is July 14, 2009 (my 37th birthday!) and the end date is April 12, 2012. Seems like a long ways away. :)

I will post more-or-less-weekly updates on my progress here, and I'll also put a briefer description of each in the sidebar (unless they look oogy there, in which case I won't) for my reference during planning. I basically need to do one task every 10 days to get 'em all done.

Items in red are finished. Items in blue are in progress or will be within the next month or so. Annual items are in green so I won't miss them when I do my annual planning.

Most are pretty self-explanatory, but I want to write a longer post explaining number 1. Not today, though... I'm getting really close to finishing the new draft of the book code-named aardvark and I don't want to get TOO distracted from it! :)

Do NOT begin any weight loss program during these 1001 days. DO continue running and exercising and eating healthy food, but there will be no weight loss focus unless at a doctor's command.
Celebrate July as my birthmonth each year by doing at least one fun/unusual activity each July. (done in 2009, details to come)
Buy nothing but essential groceries for one full month.
Watch the polar bears at the zoo on a particularly cold day.
Make three separate $25 loans at www.kiva.org. (0/3)
Go blonde again. Keep it for at least 30 days to see if I like it.
Run a sub-30 minute 5km.
Do the CN Tower stair climb.
DONE: Get a sleek leather jacket, probably black but I'm flexible. (done in late July, details to come)
Make pineapple mint sherbet at least once in each summer. (1/3) (done in 2009, details to come)
Eat only raw food for two consecutive days.
Go to the farmers' market at least once each summer. (0/3)
Play laser tag.
Go to Kuwait to visit T. Try everything, even things I think I won't like.
See every movie that's released in March 2011 (random month), regardless of whether I think I'll like it.
Pay for someone behind me at a drive-thru.
In mid-late August 2009, go downtown for a day of trying on tons of clothes, then buy only what I love to complete my fall/winter wardrobe.
Spend a day at the Royal Ontario Museum.
See at least one Fringe Festival play each summer. (0/3) (Fringe Festival 2009 was done before this started, so it'll be for the future years!)
Make croissants. The recipe I have takes three days but I bet they're worth the effort.
Have my mother's bag of golden retriever fur spun then crochet her a hat/mitts/scarf set with fur trim.
Read "Life of Pi".
Turn the Christmas pillow front Mr. W latch-hooked into an actual pillow by Christmas 2009.
Go to Ste. Annes spa at least three times. (0/3)
Knit the "Hand like a Hole" fingerless mitts. Relax and enjoy it so the finished mitts won't be tainted by "knitting makes me tense" vibes.
Buy ankle-strap heels. Wear them out to dinner.
Pay attention on 9/9/9. If anything interesting happens, make note. (One interesting thing… this randomly ended up being item #27… 3 9s!) Do the same on 10/10/10 and 11/11/11.
Pick a Guitar Hero: World Tour song, then learn to drum it on Expert.
Go to a ballet.
Go to an opera.
Go to a rock concert.
Write my autobiography, just for my own reference and not for public consumption. Update annually on or around my birthday.
Take my camera to three separate family/friend occasions. Take at least one picture and be IN at least one picture at each event. (0/3)
Donate blood. Do it soon before I decide to get another tattoo!
Go back to New York. Stay longer this time.
Send someone an anonymous gift, something they really need or want.
Make something weird (jam?) in the breadmaker.
Stick with "Infinite Jest" for summer 2009, even if it gets strange and difficult.
Own a pair of designer shoes (Manolos, Christian Louboutin, or someone else). Wear them frequently. (If buying is impossible, try on at least three pairs.)
DONE: Buy that Eddie Bauer reusable bag that folds into itself and keep in my purse. (July 14, 2009) (see details here)
Give 20 strangers a compliment. (1/20)
Read ten Pulitzer Prize-winning novels. (0/10)
Take at least one "we do nothing but hang out and be together" vacation with Mr. W each year.
Write 10 encouraging notes and leave them out somewhere in public.(0/10)
If the UFC comes to Toronto, do everything legally possible to get tickets.
Work through 31 day blog challenge (NOT in 31 days).
Set up a whole box of dominoes then knock 'em all over.
Take a spur of the moment road trip (one Friday evening, just take off!).
Sew myself a skirt.
Sew myself an infinity dress (http://www.rostitchery.com/infinity-dress.html).
Go through my makeup and throw out everything I haven't used in the last month. No "I might use it someday." You won't. We know this.
Visit 7 cities so their first letters make up the word Heather. (0/7) (need two different ones for E! And for H and T for that matter. I has a repetitive name. :))
Roll a 6-sided die 1001 times and see whether the results are random or not. If not, use whatever number comes up most often in some way to pick a lottery ticket.
Read the 12 paper books I currently have in my 'to be read' collection. Review them on my blog, and release at least half of them to bookcrossing.com.
Fly first-class.
Save my change during the 1001 time frame and use it at the end to buy something cool. (in progress throughout)
Find another honeydew-scented Yankee Candle car air freshener. Replace the old worn-out one.
Throw a Halloween party. Costumes required.
Throw a Christmas party. Bake far too many cookies and revel in the options.
Get a gorgeous v-neck cashmere sweater that fits perfectly and isn't remotely itchy. Refuse to compromise.
Go back to the beach near our old house where I first fell in love with Harry Potter book 1. Read the ending of book 7.
Write and mail a fan letter to Forrest Griffin, referencing that I named the male lead in "Go Small or Go Home" Forrest and that my sister named her cat Griffin. See if he responds.
Send an anonymous Valentine's Day card.
Read a book on Canadian history (non-fiction)
Sleep out on the balcony for one night.
Host a mystery game I didn't write.
Complete 100 pushups in one go. (This will likely necessitate at least two trips through the 6-week pushup challenge, as my current trip won't get me much higher than 50.)
DONE: Make myself nice business cards, with my website and the cover of my latest book. Keep my card case in my purse so I can give them out as appropriate. (done August 21, 2009, details to come)
Learn one magic trick with which to impress people. It must be simple to set up.
Buy the packaged stuff at the drug store that does the internal cleanse. Do it.
For one week, wear nothing black (gym clothes excepted).
Take pictures in a photo booth. Keep them no matter how lame they are.
See the Arrogant Worms in concert if they're anywhere near us.
See Meat Loaf in concert if he's anywhere near us.
Make 10 pet snuggles and donate to the Humane Society or other group.
Go to a performance of "The Messiah" at Christmas.
Whenever the Tiburon's due for maintenance, have it there no more than one month late.
Finish or get rid of "In this house the cat rules" cross stitch.
One month before each of my concert band's theatre concerts, honestly assess my own level of performance, and practice if I need to until I am pleased with how I'm playing.
Create a playlist to pump me up, one to relax me, and one for when I'm feeling doubtful about my ability to carry on. (0/3)
Write my parents a gratitude letter.
DONE: Bake pizza from scratch. (Let the bread machine make the crust.) (Done July 14, 2009 and many times since, details to come)
Go to the station, pick any random train that is leaving within 10 minutes, buy a ticket and go discover the city where the train is going.
Finish or get rid of the wedding quilt. (This is a decorative quilt made from my wedding dress.)
Spend a rainy or snowy day doing nothing but reading and drinking tea (and maybe eating a bit too).
Spend at least three half-hour sessions working on my signature so I can have a classy one instead of the childish scribble I have now. (0/3)
Clean out the bedroom closet. Get rid of all pictures and decorations we never use.
Clean out under the bed.
Don't drive my car for a week.
DONE: Make or acquire a digital picture frame. (done July 19, 2009 as a birthday present from my family, details to come)
Try ten new recipes.
Make and hide a geocache.
Hunt down a geocache.
Each January, rearrange all the pictures in our picture frames.
DONE: Buy myself a custom-made shirt from Ureshii.etsy.com. (July 22, 2009) (details to come)
Whenever I completely finish writing a book, spend a day downtown visiting museums and being all cultural.
Crochet something out of wire.
Next time I see them at the grocery store, buy Grapples. They're apples with grape flavouring added, and they smell amazing. (They're also $5 for 4, which is why I haven't bought them previously.)
Purge my jewelry so I keep only the pieces I adore.
Replace as many of these as I want with new items on or around July 14, 2010. (Items can be replaced only if I no longer feel they matter, not if I just can't be bothered.)
Replace as many of these as I want with new items on or around July 14, 2011. (Items can be replaced only if I no longer feel they matter, not if I just can't be bothered.)

Anyone else wanting to make a list? I'd love to follow your progress! :)

Saturday Silliness

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:55:00 +0000

Another set of pictures this time, but not LOLcats! I am keeping my eyes open for other entertaining things to post... if you have any favourite sites, drop me a note!

see more Lol Celebs

see more Lol Celebs

see more Lol Celebs

Hear that? NO?

emailme@heatherwardell.com (Heather Wardell) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:20:00 +0000

That's because it's so quiet. The new dishwasher, I mean.

It was installed yesterday without incident (which was a nice change after all the previous incident) and we ran it last night even though it was mostly empty. I know, it's a waste of water, but it was new and I wanted to try it.

It was so quiet we weren't actually sure it was working, but it was and the dishes are clean and I am a happy camper and I do not want another appliance installed for a very long time.

Here is the proof that it was actually installed. Isn't it pretty? (The old one was a light harvest gold kind of colour. Very not-so-nice.)

It plays a happy little tune when you power it on and when it's finished. The old one seemed to hate doing the dishes but this one is delighted.

And I actually remembered to take our "are the dishes clean or dirty" magnet off the old one before it left, so we can see that this new dishwasher now contains clean dishes.

Clean. Not handwashed. Ah, the bliss. :)

Of course, now I have to go empty the fool thing!