Heart Gone Walking

The Disney Trip: day four

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Fri, 25 May 2012 06:32:00 +0000

Before I say anything else, this post made me cry and think deeper than I normally do. And it involves "American Idol" which I don't even watch. That Emily, she's a skilled writer to accomplish all of that.

OK, so back to the Disney trip. It's Monday, the day after we arrived at Walt Disney World and it's Madeline's birthday. My expectations for this day were no longer a part of planet Earth. They were a little high.

Our birthday gift to Madeline was breakfast in Cinderella's Castle with the princesses. The night before, Joe and I talked seriously about not going. Madeline still have her fever and congestion and needed all the sleep and rest she could get.

But. We were in Disney World. And it's breakfast with the princesses. Would she ever forgive us (or we forgive ourselves) if we didn't show up?

So we decided to do it, wake her up at 7 a.m. to catch the monorail to Magic Kingdom. I am so incredibly glad we did. It was an amazing morning.

Since our breakfast reservation was before the park opened, we walked in feeling like the only people in the place. My one unsolicited piece of advice is to do this breakfast before 9 a.m. I loved being in the park with no one else.

And watching Madeline climb the twirly stairs and anticipate each princess's arrival was something I'll never forget.

The breakfast cost WAY more than we would ever spend on a regular birthday gift but after this hug from Princess Aurora? I knew it was totally, completely worth it. And HR at Disney? This Sleeping Beauty was the BEST.

When we finished eating, we headed out of the castle and in two minutes, the park opened and people, there were no lines. NONE. We rode Peter Pan twice, It's a Small World, Winnie the Pooh, Snow White, the carousel, the teacups and Dumbo, all before 10 a.m.

It was ridonkulous in the best way.

Madeline was pretty tired so we slowly left the park early, stopping for autographs from so many characters on the way out.

We got back to our hotel room for lunch but Madeline didn't want to eat. She took a long nap (which was good) and then woke up with a raging fever (which was utter sadness). I called her pediatrician, trying to find out why the antibiotic wasn't taking care of the fever. He called back and said he was comfortable with us waiting one more night before taking her to another urgent care clinic.

And then her skin became mottled. And I called her doctor back. And he wanted her checked out right away.

There are way too many details which would probably bore you to read and sadden me to remember but the recommended clinic had an enormous wait and couldn't see her until 3 a.m. Craziness. So we decided a good night's sleep was more important than being miserable in a waiting room and we would see the doctor first thing in the morning.

Well, Madeline slept pretty well but I was up every hour, checking her temperature, worried that something awful would happen or the fever would reach crazy heights.

It didn't, thankfully.

But I may or may not have shed a few tears over her sickness and the fact that we didn't go back to the park that day. Or that we didn't have the planned cupcakes and candles with my family. It was Madeline's birthday and she spent more hours sick than happy. Ugh, I hate thinking about that even now.

However, I must say, Madeline wasn't entirely miserable. We don't have cable at home so she was over the moon about watching Disney Jr. at the hotel. Since she was sick, we let her watch Disney Jr. to her heart's content. Who knew her heart's content meant about six hours straight? (Kinda, sorta, maybe not exaggerating.)

Lesson learned: deprive your child of cable and even a ruined Disney vacation can be saved by its mere presence.

Saying yes: a follow-up

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Thu, 24 May 2012 04:00:00 +0000

I'm taking a quick break from the trip posts because I don't have the emotional strength to take on day four. It's gonna be a doozie.

So in the meantime...

For the last several years, I've worked hard on being a mom who says "yes." This doesn't mean Madeline always gets her way but rather I say "yes" to making memories even if it means making a mess, an incomplete to-do list or dirty house at the end of the day.

This goal has only been harder to meet since having Caleb. Many, many times my postpartum self did not want to get up off the couch to play tag in the yard. My tired body wanted to turn on a Disney movie and sleep instead of walking to the park.

But over and over, I forced myself to get on the floor and play princess with her, read that mind-numbing "Dora the Explorer" book for the 20th times and to be very much present with her. I want her childhood to be filled games, books, painting and fun.

So you can imagine how happy I was when I arrived at her school's Mother's Day Tea and saw her portrait of me.

I'm not concerned about the size of my lips. (Even if I think these lips would make Taylor Armstrong's appear small in comparison.)

No, it was this part:

If you're wondering what some of the other answers were, Madeline's best friend Blake chose to answer the question with "My mom always says I love you." What you are hearing is the collective "awwwwww" that just filled the blogosphere.

My kid answered, "My mom always says no."

So...yeah. No words. I have no words. I'm capable of writing 2000 word posts but I don't know what else to say for this one.

But Madeline? For the record, I'm 29. Love you too, baby.

Love. You. Too.

The Disney Trip: day three

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Wed, 23 May 2012 04:40:00 +0000

So after the Great Alabama-to-Florida Debacle, we arrived at the hotel in the wee hours of Sunday morning and fell face-forward into the bed with our traveling clothes still on.

Not really but that's totally what I wanted to do. Instead we completed the very responsible actions of putting our kids to bed and I woke throughout the night to feed Caleb.

He was so thankful for my maternal attentiveness that he rewarded me by waking up super early. He's a charmer, that one. I wanted Joe and Madeline to sleep more so I took him down to the breakfast area for the next two hours.

I met a super nice 80-something couple who were traveling back home from Florida. She wished me "Happy Mother's Day" on her way back to the room. He stayed and entertained me with his life story. Then he noticed his wife left her purse on the chair and COULD NOT talk about anything else from that point on. He confided in me that he was afraid she was "starting to lose her mind." He was dead serious.

This cracked me up because, at that point, I had heard three times that he was born in St. Paul, Minnesota. And just in case I wasn't listening earlier, he told me that one more time before parting ways. I sincerely hope they made it safely back to Michigan and aren't lost out on a highway somewhere.

After a nutrient-dense breakfast of Fruit Loops for Madeline (the only thing she would eat), we packed up the car and headed two hours south towards Disney. She still wasn't feeling good but that was OK. Pocahontas joined us on the journey and brightened things up a bit.

We gave Madeline the camera which meant we were blessed with about 78 self-portraits. This one is lovely.

This one...well...it's something.

I do love seeing the world from her perspective.

We made it to Orlando and stocked up on groceries at the most Disney-fied Wal-Mart ever. I think Madeline was close to weeping at the sight. Or maybe it was me. I had to refrain from shouting, "WE ACTUALLY MADE IT!" We grabbed just about everything that sounded tasty and drove to Walt Disney World.

When we passed under the big sign, I couldn't control my excitement any longer and texted Peter, "OMG WE'RE IN DISNEY!"

He sent back, "OMG WE'RE IN WALMART."

Obviously we were no longer caravanning.

We stayed at the Shades of Green resort, a Disney hotel just for those in the military. It was awesome with some patriotic flair. Madeline was thrilled to see a big Mickey. Joe and I were thrilled to not drive for three whole days.

This picture is now one of my favorites. I think the reason is obvious.

We took our time gearing up for Magic Kingdom. Madeline and Joe swam for a bit in a Mickey Mouse head-shaped pool. Madeline took a nap. Our whole family ate dinner together.

And then we took the monorail to Magic Kingdom and the Disney magic began having its way with us. Because watching Madeline eagerly look for the castle in the distance, holding her hand as we walked through the entrance and watching her experience the Main Street Electrical Parade, all of that made everything leading up to this night worth it.

Caleb thought he was starring in his own commercial and pulled out surreal cuteness accordingly.

Madeline finally got to see Cinderella's Castle but this was as close as we got for the night.

After just 40 minutes, our girl was tired and I didn't want to push her at all so we headed back to the hotel, kissed our 4-year-old goodnight for the last time and steadied ourselves for year five.

P.S. I'm not sure where Madeline's shoes are in the last photo. I promise she wore shoes in Disney and didn't go all "Nell" on us.

The Disney Trip: day two

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Tue, 22 May 2012 04:24:00 +0000

As Bridget would say, buckle up. This day was eternal and so is the recap.

By Saturday morning, I had already taken two hotel showers. Listen, y’all. Hotel showers make me a better woman. One of the best things in life is to take a good 40 minutes and completely scald my skin without paying the bill later. It places above eating frozen Snicker bars but is short of watching "Hands on a Hard Body." Also, I’m pretty sure my heavenly mansion includes a water heater the size of "that there K-Mart."

(Bridget, that was my subtle "get thee to La Jolla" hint.)

Back to Saturday morning. Madeline still had a low fever and no appetite. This no appetite was really bothering me. She knows that hotels equal gigantic Belgium waffles but after we poured the syrup all over the plate, she didn’t want to take one bite.

As a parent, what do you do? The symptoms aren’t severe to anyone else but you know something is up and it’s bad but you're in Alabama. Pretend I'm John Quinones. What would you do??

Madeline was so ready to see “her Peter,” as she calls him so we headed deep into country-road Alabama. Peter spent the last two years at Marion Military Institute and graduated in the top of his class with honors. We're all so stinkin’ proud of him.

I'm pretty sure Madeline would still be clinging to Peter today if we didn't make her let go. There's a lot of love here, folks.

So. Much. Love.

This is why he is "her Peter." This is why.

After his graduation ceremony, we hung out with Peter for a bit and then went to his commissioning. By then, Madeline was doing much worse and I knew she needed to see a doctor. The girl was miserable and burning up but refused to go to the car because she didn’t want to miss a second of “her Peter.” So I did one of the rudest things ever; I actually walked out to get Tylenol and then allowed Madeline to stretch out across two chairs onto my lap. Sorry Emily Post and Marion.

After the ceremonies, our plan was to travel about an hour to Montgomery, eat a big family celebration dinner together and have my parents tell Madeline and Brennan about Disney. (Remember how my expectations were through the roof, much like the Greensburg courthouse tree? This particular moment was sky-high in my mind.) (Oh, my Linden Ladies. I just can't stop.)

Well, instead Joe and I knew we needed to get to the closest urgent care clinic so we cancelled the dinner, my mom told the kids about Disney in the parking lot and gave Madeline an early birthday present: a complete Pocahontas outfit, complete with earrings, feather necklace and moccasins.

Madeline’s reaction was, um, how a miserably sick child would react. Happy but unable to express it. It was so sad.

So the rest of my family plowed ahead to the hotel in Florida while Joe and I sped towards Selma. We found a clinic and experienced:

a huge insurance hang-up
a “Selma-itis” allergy diagnosis (seriously, that’s what the doctor called it)
an ear infection diagnosis
three dirty diapers
two failed nursing sessions
a colossal prescription mix-up
three Burger King meals

And hours later, we were finally on our way to Florida. This was a bad leg of the trip. The heavens opened up and let loose the Pacific Ocean on US-231. But we did listen to the Brian Regan station on Pandora, which was slightly redeeming.

Then late that night, with several hours still to go before reaching the hotel, Madeline had a hard time. To give you some background, when Joe and Madeline get high fevers, they get delirious. It might sound funny but it’s not. It’s like watching a child in the middle of a night terror that goes on and on until the fever is lowered.

Well, Madeline’s fever came raging back and she got delirious. It was hard to watch because among other awful things, she was completely terrified about something chasing her and was screaming for Mommy. She kept screaming after I crawled into the backseat, stroked her hair and tried not to shake her and yell back, “I’m here! I’m right here!”

Joe started handing me stacks of napkins and I dumped water on them and plastered them all over Madeline, trying to bring the fever down.

After an eternity and coming thisclose to telling Joe we should just stop at the next exit with a bathtub, her fever came down and she came out of it. It’s like she woke up from a nightmare.

Her first words were, “Mom, I had a scary dream. “

I know, baby. Daddy and I just lived it with you for the last 20 minutes. Do you have any vodka in your Rapunzel bag?

When it was over, she was completely calm and wanted to watch You Tube Disney videos on my phone. She hung up her Pocahontas dress in front of her and caressed the fringe, beading and “suede” and acted completely normal. I sat next to her, holding her hand and silently cried, thankful the car was dark and she couldn’t see my tears.

There is nothing worse than watching your child suffer in any way and there’s nothing else that needs to be said about that.

After a bit, Madeline was still covered with wet napkins, my skirt was soaked through from dumping the water all over my lap, her head was leaning on my shoulder and I was spent. From the driver’s seat, Joe looked at me through the rearview mirror and said, “Hey. It’s after midnight. Happy Mother’s Day.”

Happy Mother’s Day, indeed.

The Disney Trip: the night before and day one

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Mon, 21 May 2012 18:00:00 +0000

The week before we left, we told Madeline that we were going to travel to Alabama to see Peter. There is a reason we didn’t tell Madeline about Disney before we left. Because she was crazy excited just to travel to Alabama.

Seriously, this kid was over-the-moon thrilled to travel to a tiny southern town and see “her Peter.”

The night before we left, we headed up to Joe’s sister’s high school choir concert. Before we left, I made chicken nuggets (Threw in the oven? What’s the appropriate verbiage for this level of non-cooking?) for Madeline, a rare buy because I wanted something easy to cook from the freezer when we got back. She ate just one and didn’t want any more. Red flag number one.

Madeline loved the concert. It was show choir so she enjoyed the singing, dancing and costumes but she really fell in love with her $5 light-up pink cowgirl hat.

She had fun during the concert but as soon as it was over, Madeline wanted me to hold her and take her outside. Red flag number two. Madeline always loves being around people and for her to want to step away from the crowd? That was threat level orange.

Her skin was hot to the touch so we hurried home and put her to bed. Her fever was around 100 degrees so I didn’t give her Tylenol to let her body deal with it. She slept well and we hit the road on Friday morning around 6:30 a.m.

I know there’s this newfangled mode of transportation called “airplanes” but I love me a good road trip. I’m one of those fun moms who believe kids don’t need DVD players, think kids should look out the windows and want my kids who entertain themselves. (Aren’t you glad I’m not your mom?)

Before you think I’m mean, I didn’t just leave Madeline with two sticks and mint-flavored floss in the backseat. I bought Highlights (Remember those? They’re still awesome.), a new princess coloring book, “The House at Pooh Corner” to read aloud, a new journal, several books on CD and other toys.

Our trip down went pretty smoothly. Caleb turned out to be a champion traveler and Madeline was happily entertained with her bag of goodies and talking. Oh how that little girl loves to talk. She still cracks Joe and I up all the time.

One time I fed Caleb in the car while Joe and Madeline checked out a local variety store just off the highway in southern Tennessee. After they came back, I asked Joe if they had anything interesting.

Joe: “No. It was like everything bad at a Dollar General.”

Madeline: “And it stank too.”

This girl calls it like she smells it.

The only times she got upset were when she woke up from naps.

Wouldn't you cry too with a neck crick similar to the Cruciatus curse?

We checked into the hotel just outside of Birmingham by 1:30 p.m. Madeline walked in wearing her cowgirl hat, pajamas and flip flops and carrying Peter Bear and Jasmine in Pocahontas’ clothes. (The only way to travel is modestly.)

Yes, my daughter is adorable and no, you cannot have her.

Madeline still had a low fever but was in a good mood, wanting to swim and see Peter. All four of us took a long, blissful nap.

We woke up, took showers and drove around Birmingham. Joe pointed out an awesome pimped-out pink and purple Cadillac with spinners. Madeline yelled out, “It’s got great wheels!”

Yes. Yes it does, baby.

I tweeted Boomama for dinner suggestions for some good Southern food. She sent back five tweets, listing her favorite places specific to our location. She is my hero and if you don’t read her, you need to. She has blessed my life with this dip alone. But even more, I read Boomama and Big Mama’s posts every night during Caleb’s 3 a.m. feeding and I’m eternally grateful they get me through that hard, sleepy feeding.

Sadly, Madeline started to feel worse so we settled for some Sonic (wah wah) and headed back to the hotel. I was bummed to not have a true Southern dinner experience and instead watch Lindsay Lohan’s “Freaky Friday” in the hotel room. Oh, if only I had known then that uneaten fried chicken was not going to be the worst part of the trip.

Where we've been (literally)

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Mon, 21 May 2012 03:58:00 +0000

It’s been a little quiet around here because we went on a vacation. I didn't tell you guys because I still get all freaky weird about telling the Internets I’m leaving my house. It's truly an act of kindness though. I’d just hate for someone to go through the trouble of breaking in here only to discover our nicest item is our DVD player, purchased seven years ago as a wedding gift.

We’re not exactly on the cutting edge of technology ‘round here. Especially considering we watch said DVDs on an old-fashioned tube TV. Truth be told, Steve Jobs impacted every other person in the world but me. I don't own anything with a small "i." Even an iTunes account.

Shameful, I know but I'm derailing here.

Last weekend, my little brother graduated from a military academy in Alabama and as his graduation gift and our Christmas gift, my parents took all of us to Disney World after his ceremony.

Now I’ve been looking forward to this trip more than I’ve been looking forward to eating butter again. WHICH SHOULD SAY IT ALL, Y’ALL. We had been keeping it a secret from Madeline and I just could not wait to tell her.

Her best friends have gone to Disney several times and she has asked me over and over if we could go. I was so very excited to tell her she was going to see the princesses, Mickey and Minnie. I was so excited to watch her glimpse Cinderella’s Castle for the very first time.

And you don't even know the very best part yet. We would be in Disney on her fifth birthday. Can it get any better than being in Disney on your fifth birthday?? I would like to submit that it cannot.

Before we left, I registered an 11 on the expectations scale, with 10 being “strong possibility of peeing my pants excited.”

But then my little girl got sick the night before we left. And then she was sick for five more days. Which meant she got better the day before we left.

SAD TROMBONE TIMES ONE THOUSAND.

At times the trip was so painfully disappointing, I thought I might not even blog it. One afternoon, I cried during Madeline’s entire nap. I knew I was being melodramatic about my first world problems but dang. It sure felt good to finally throw a pity party.

But you know what? There truly is magic at Disney.

Whenever Madeline stepped foot in a park, I forgot how poorly the trip had gone. I forgot about the hours spent on the phone with the pediatrician, at the urgent care centers and at the pharmacies. I forgot how my expectations were dashed. I would even forget how I had been fraught with worry earlier while watching her writhe in her sleep, delirious from a high fever.

Madeline loved every minute she was in a Disney park and watching her twirl with Sleeping Beauty or dance through Epcot in her Minnie Mouse ears healed my disappointed heart.

So I’m going to blogged each day. The good. The bad. The ugly.

I learned there's truly magic at Disney and I learned something else. Being a parent means expectations and plans are constantly dashed. Since coming back, I've heard story after story from friends and family about vacations that were interrupted by illnesses. How the parents paid gobs of money unexpectedly. How expectations were left unmet. And I realized this trip is just another inauguration into parenthood.

I want my family to be a family that laughs so we don’t cry. I want us to have memories aren’t just made from the gooey happy moments because those other experiences -- the disappointments, the pain, the changed plans -- those knit our hearts together even more.

I could only love this picture more if Joe were in it. Our hearts were knit tighter when we laughed hard after looking like crazy people, tearing through Animal Kingdom in a monsoon downpour to catch the evening bus. How Madeline laughed hysterically when our sopping clothes left puddles on the seats. How I giggled watching Joe ran like a triathlete with our double stroller, realizing - a mile behind him - that I wouldn't last one leg on "The Amazing Race."

So I'll write this trip down because even if nothing went as planned, I still have this magical picture with two beautiful children and one hot husband.

I have the amazing privilege and gift of being a wife and mom. Life is sweet.

Some terrible quality pictures and a list. Lame.

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Wed, 09 May 2012 03:29:00 +0000

I can’t think of any way to coherently write a post so I’m going to shoot from the hip with a list. (Side note: every time I write “hip,” the words “my hips don’t lie” run across my mind.)

1. Caleb nearly rolled over today. He comes so very awfully close but he never wants to seal the deal. Today, maybe the mountain of laundry intimated him from completing the task.

Actually, I just realized the penguin looks way more intimating than the laundry. I promise it's actually a really fun toy and not a leering, scary monster. Although I guess it's Caleb's opinion that really counts in the end

2. In light of my last blog post, I found this comment from the backseat really funny: “I put Jasmine in Pocahontas’ clothes because Jasmine’s clothes aren’t appropriate.” I think we can all agree that Jasmine is a poor role model for modesty. For the record, Ariel’s lack of modesty also bothers Madeline. I think my work here is complete. Until she discovers Justice.

3. Scotty’s Brewhouse catered an event a church tonight. Everything looked amazing. Dill chips with ranch. Wings. Pizza. Spinach dip. Brownies. Chocolate chip cookies. Basically every food you would ever desire, all with dairy. So now I’m adding Scotty’s to my list of restaurants to visit once Caleb is weaned.

The list so far looks like this:

1. Chicken fried chicken at Cracker Barrel

2. Every single appetizer at Scotty’s Brewhouse

3. Queso covered in queso on top of queso at any Mexican restaurant

4. Pimento macaroni and cheese at Twenty Tap

4. Even with a long-ish list, Caleb and I ran in and out of Target in under 20 minutes. This just has to be mentioned. It’s a personal best record. Also, every time I pass this ampersand and don’t buy it, I think I must possess superhuman willpower.

(OK, I just tried to find this adorable ampersand decor piece so I could link to it and you could all ooooh and aaaaah but I couldn't find it and instead wasted precious minutes on Target.com when I could be watching "New Girl" by now. So, just believe me that this exists and for only $19.99 too!)

5. Even with a terrible phone camera, this kid is still the cutest.

6. I took the best (seriously the best!) picture of Madeline today but now I can't pull it off the camera. It's so good and will give the pirate picture a run for its money but for now...."New Girl."

Madeline doesn't need Rachel or Brad

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Tue, 08 May 2012 03:16:00 +0000

Madeline loves all things fashion. She loves dressing herself, dressing up, jewelry, shoes, handbags, hair accessories, all of it. Loves it all. When she was old enough to hold her head up, she started fixating on jewelry. Now she compliments strangers on their jeweled sandals and chunky bracelets. She asks to watch the runway part on “Project Runway” just to “see the pretty dresses, Mama.”

Hello Kitty shirt - Target

Hello Kitty arm warmers - BabyLegs

Shorts - old jeans cut by me

Since she loves fashion so much and has strong opinions about what she wears, I get asked a lot about how I handle the issue of what she wears. Meaning, they are wondering if we fight over her clothes. Now I know this can be a major issue between moms and daughters but my kid is only a whopping 4-year-old so I’m not professing to be an expert at dealing with this topic. However, the answer is no, we do not fight over it. Here is my approach:

1. I have final say on everything we buy.
2. Madeline dresses herself.
3. If we own it, she can wear it.

Shirt - pajama top given as gift

Tutu skirt - Target

Cowgirl boots - Target

Hello Kitty sunglasses - Target

1. I have final say on everything we buy. I have a lot of fun shopping with Madeline because her taste is better than mine but if an item is not appropriate, then she knows we don’t take it home. And she knows what I deem as appropriate or not. Because I talk everything out, this isn't an issue in the store. She knows the rules.

Hoodie - Once Upon a Child

Leggings - Target

2. Madeline dresses herself. Of course, there are times when I pick out her outfit but on a daily basis since she was 2 or so, Madeline has been dressing herself however she wants to. She doesn't get to call a lot of shots at this point in her life so I think it's good for her to make these kinds of decisions. We don't argue much about what she wears because she now has a pretty good sense of what to wear for different kinds of events.

Plus, as I said earlier, her sense of fashion is way better than mine.

Jean jacket - Value Village

Dress - Goodwill

3. If we own it, she can wear it. If it’s in her closet or in her drawers, she can assemble any outfit any way she wants, even if it means the orange cut-off sweatpants are worn with the pink cowgirl boots. (I just die a little on the inside every time every time I see that combo. No big deal.)

So my approach means she sometimes leaves the house in clothes that do not match and might look odd from a distance AND up close and sometimes we go to Target in a Rapunzel dress. But most days, I actually love the outfits she pulls together. She has a lot of fun picking out her clothes and trying them on in a mirror and asking my opinion. And you guys. She’s 4 years old. She can wear a ridiculous outfit without looking ridiculous and actually eek the adorable out of it. There are only a few years this is possible so why not ride it out.

So if you see us in the grocery store and Madeline is wearing an amazing layered look, know that she pulled out her inner Rachel Zoe. And if you see us at the park in orange cut-off sweatpants and pink cowgirl boots, please remember I had no part in it.

*All of these photos were taken in one week so you can see how she rolls.

Among other things, I ate butter

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Mon, 07 May 2012 04:59:00 +0000

This weekend was pretty unusual. We actually did things.

Things away from the couch. I wore a dress two nights in a row. (When you're breastfeeding, dresses aren't practical so I haven't worn one in forever even though they are my favorite. Wearing a dress is a significant event to me.)

If those facts aren't enough to convince you how different this weekend was, then know this: I wore lipstick. End of story. Clearly things were happening, people.

On Friday, I got to watch my adorable nephew Beckett. He owns the most fantastic smiles. Among other activities, Madeline played library and set up the living room as such.

Unfortunately, the boys refused to play along and wouldn't check out the audiobooks displayed behind her. So rude.

Random bird: Caleb is really sitting up well on his own these days. A truly amazing feat for a 2-week-old because that's the oldest he can possibly be, right?

That night, Joe and I went to a fundraising dinner, a far cry from our usual Friday night couch-movie-bed routine. Joe's mom watched the kids and took a bit of my heart with her. I just don't do too well leaving them.

Despite arriving with a partial heart, it was a lovely evening and I had my first glass of wine since I found out I was pregnant. Then I saw what was for dinner.

Chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, rolls and salad. EVERY item was dripping with butter except the salad. It was mixed with ranch. Creamy ranch. Forbidden ranch.

So I made an executive decision. I ATE ALL OF IT. It was amazing. Delicious. Buttery.

After I drained my glass and licked my plate, knife and fork clean, I turned to Joe and told him he needed to take me somewhere to get dessert. If the dairy-free diet was blown, then I was going to blast it sky-high.

We got gelato and OH MY WORD, you guys. There are no words. No words.

I definitely paid for my sins by waking up throughout the night to pump. I was paranoid of giving Caleb any dairy so I pumped and dumped four times by Saturday morning.

Verdict: Exhausting but totally worth it.

A couple weeks ago, this was my Facebook status:

Madeline talks about Meena a lot. I'm very, very aware of Meena and what's happening in her "life."

On Saturday morning, this conversation took place:

Joe: "Why does Meena live here? Shouldn't she live with her family?"
Madeline (with passionate disbelief at his ignorance): "Meena's parents died!"

Joe: "What?"

Me (completely serious): "You didn't know that? It happened awhile ago."

Joe: "Um...no, I didn't. I guess I missed that Facebook status." (under his breath) "Dislike."

And that, my friends, is why I married him. He makes me laugh every single day.

After I laughed so hard that I scared Caleb, we headed our nearest farmer's market. It smelled like bacon, I bought raw honey and Madeline got to pet the biggest dog I've ever seen.

It was quite a success.

Afterwards, we popped in at a family garage sale where Madeline scored a doughnut hole and played with Anna, a very very kind cousin who doesn't mind that Madeline adores her.

I was exhausted by the afternoon and crashed on Madeline's bed at the indecent nap-hour of 5 p.m. I woke up groggy and realized I missed the Kentucky Derby. Don't ask why but Joe and I love watching that race. But if you blink (or cat-nap), you'll miss it. Such sadness.

Then I put on another dress and a second round of lipstick, kissed my babes and babe goodbye. I met friends at a wine bar and tried to not get giggly over my second glass of wine in one weekend. It was a seriously fun evening. We covered the gamut of topics and laughed so hard until we were the last people in the bar and they turned off the music.

So naturally we left and talked on the sidewalk for another 20 minutes.

On Sunday, we skipped church due to a little boy who wasn't eating so great. It was pretty clear his gums were bugging him. Clear as crystal.

It's not that he was in a bad mood. He just didn't want to do anything that didn't involve mashing his gums with hard objects, fingers included.

So we had a lazy Sunday.

We drank indecent amounts of homemade sweet tea.

Uno was played.

Madeline wore a red tutu skirt and pink cowgirl boots.

I went grocery shopping with my favorite little girl and was told approximately 300 times that we look so much alike. My heart is happy every single time I hear that.

Our favorite hardware store was visited and two bags of popcorn were eaten.

Joe and Madeline planted zucchini and sunflowers.

We watched "Winnie the Pooh" for Sunday family movie night and Madeline laughed so hard, I thought she might pass out.

After a weekend like that, I say, "Bring it on, Monday. Bring it on."

8 a.m. is just so much more reasonable

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Fri, 04 May 2012 04:04:00 +0000

(So many of you have asked me about the glow-in-the-dark pacifiers. They are Mams and I found them at Target. When I told Nicole where I got them, she said, “Everything good in the world comes from Target.” And we all said together, “True dat.”)

I decided something this week. I want to be awake before Madeline wakes up. I think my days would be better if I got started on my own in silence, with a shower in silence, with some Bible reading, prayer, tea, toast and faux butter in silence and to make my bed before 4:55 p.m. I think Madeline would get a better mom if the mornings didn’t start with her waking me up, me unable to wake up quickly, me asking for five more minutes and her bouncing around on my bed saying, “You wanna get up?! You wanna get up?!”

So on Tuesday night, I set my alarm to go off at 5:30 a.m. I never set an alarm, especially so early at Awful O’Clock.

On Wednesday morning, it was rough going and I hit snooze until 6 a.m. But once I was up, I really enjoyed it. My morning went smoother. My afternoon went better. And I was tired earlier, which is good considering I can’t fall asleep until midnight or so most nights.

So I set the alarm again on Wednesday night for 5:30 a.m. all excited for the next day. (Who gets excited about waking up early? Me. Because when I’m in, I’m all in.)

Then Caleb needed to eat at 1:30 a.m.

Then he woke up again and again and again needing his pacifier.

And then I fed him at 4 a.m.

And then Madeline woke up crying from a nightmare at 4:30 a.m. and I could barely calm her down and feed Caleb while keeping him from fully waking him up.

Finally at 4:50 a.m., both kids were back asleep. Madeline was well on her way already to her favorite position:

I learned something at 4:50 a.m. yesterday: getting up at 5:30 a.m. is for the birds. The birds who don’t have babies who need to eat for 30 minutes in the dead of night. The birds who don’t have children with nightmares.

So I turned off my alarm and slept until 8:15 a.m. which was when Madeline woke up and began asking, "You wanna get up?! You wanna get up?!"

I can’t deny that my day was better when I woke up first. I want to get up early again. But I’m not going to feel like a failure when I can’t and wind up taking my shower at 6 p.m. once Joe comes home.

I think worse things could happen in the world.

P.S. Emily at 52 Mantels is the craftiest, most creative lady I know. She's like MacGyver with burlap, felt and a hot glue gun. I'm 99.99 percent convinced she uses magic because she could decorate a banquet hall with gravel and fish eggs and everyone would ooh and ahh. (Please see exhibit A, exhibit B and exhibit C.) For Mother's Day, she created a beautiful free printable with my favorite quote, the one I named my blog after. If you like it, go ahead and snag it. And eat some butter for me while you're at it.

Give her some purple lights and a sparkly top

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Thu, 03 May 2012 02:49:00 +0000

So I was feeding Caleb on the couch when I realized this was happening in front of me. A new Seeds CD was playing so she didn't know the words but her groovin' worship moves weren't inhibited by that.

The first three seconds are my favorite. Oh my, the head dip.

Then she realized I was filming and needed 1) a song she knew, 2) a stage (the stool) and 3) a music stand (ironing board).

We got ourselves a little worship leader, folks.

Caleb: five months

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Wed, 02 May 2012 02:13:00 +0000

Oh Son. My goal was to write monthly updates on you and I’m failing. Sorry. But on the bright side, you already have way more than Madeline did at this point. So, really, I totally got this updating business in the bag.

In just a few months and especially in a few years, I’ll look back at this statement and weep at my ignorance but I'll make it anyway: dude, you are HUGE. If you were to walk up to me and tie your own shoe, I wouldn’t be surprised. You’re a chunk and I am amazed to think you were folded up inside me just five months ago.

Mimi says you have smiling eyes and she’s exactly right. When you’re happy, it shows across your entire face. Everything about you lights up and you make everyone happy with you.Your laugh is one of the best parts of my day, every day. You have an amazing, sweet personality and we are full of joy because of you.

One of my favorite things right now is when you suck your bottom lip. It turns your mouth into a straight line and makes your cheeks even chubbier than normal, like they’re stuffed with globes or walnuts.

Front view: cheeks appear normal size.

Side view: stuffed with walnuts.

And while we're talking about chunk, please look at those feet and cankles. I squeeze them about 89 times a day and oh, I love every bit of you.

We put you in the exersaucer this month and you are so entertained and amazed by it. You especially love when Madeline plays with you. This means you watch her as she pushes all the buttons and flips and spins everything.

Your hair. There aren’t any words to describe your hair right now. Only a picture will suffice. You, in the morning, are fabulous.

Speaking of pictures communicating so much, you fell in love with cereal this month.

Clearly:

Just this week, you popped two teeth. They explain so much. I would try to get a picture of them but you would probably bite me.

(Just teasing. You're stuffed with all flavors of sweetness.)

You wake up throughout the night but it's OK. Remember, you're stuffed with sweetness. But let's maybe work on that this month, m'kay?

You are always super happy outside. I can lay you down on a blanket or in the grass and you will just stare and stare and laugh and stare.

You found your feet this month. You stuffed them in your mouth and chew on your toes. It's one of the best baby actions EVER.

You love your sister and when your daddy comes home, you can't get enough of him and usually stare him down until he holds you. You laugh and laugh at both of them.

Caleb Lamont, you are our happy thing and Mama loves you.

Forgetting and remembering

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Tue, 01 May 2012 03:32:00 +0000

It's not a crime that our kids grow up. I have truly loved every stage Madeline has grown into over the last several years and motherhood is raising kids, not keeping kids. I'm not scared of the number five or kindergarten or bikes without training wheels. I know I'm going to love 5 because 1, 2, 3 and 4 were more fun than I thought possible.

No, the crime isn't that our kids grow up but that we can't remember our days with them. Maybe I'm the only one with a terrible memory but I seriously have a hard time remembering what I did last week so you better believe my memories of Madeline as a baby and toddler are scarce and few. I can recall bits and pieces but only when I look at pictures and read through my old blog do I remember specific events and daily routines.

That's the reason I mainly blog about the fluffy, happy things in my life. Because 30 years from now, I want to remember the joyful details and why I laugh all the time. We know life isn't shiny and perfect all the time. My life is not a Pinterest board. There's way more sadness, stress and exhaustion than my Facebook statuses or Twitter updates let on. But sometimes sadness is easier to remember than happiness later in life so for all these reasons and more, I chose now to capture the small, happy details in my life.

But 30 years from now, I'm probably going to wonder why I was so obsessed with butter. Actually, I bet you $100 and a Cracker Barrel chicken fried chicken plate that I'll still be obsessed with butter in 2042.

For today, I hope I forget how exhausted I was this morning after staying up until 2 a.m. and how Caleb woke up throughout the night. I hope I forget how tired my legs felt after grocery shopping and how I really really didn't want to put away the groceries. I hope I forget how Caleb cried in the car because I left his pacifier behind.

What I want to remember about today is Joe took Caleb outside to the porch swing to listen to the pouring rain after Caleb started fussing during dinner.

I want to remember how we finished our meal outside because Madeline wants to be near The Basketball Player at all times.

I want to remember how Madeline loves giving thumbs up and corn on the cob.

I want to remember how Madeline loves rainbow nail polish on her toes.

I want to remember how Madeline crosses her legs like a tiny lady.

I want to remember how Madeline might cross her legs like a lady but still act like the hilarious 4-year-old she is when she realizes I'm taking pictures of her.

I want to remember how much fun motherhood is to a 4 year old and 5 month old and just how much I love my family.

I didn't see the unicorn lamp coming

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 04:07:00 +0000

Friday was a fabulous day. The kids and I had a super laid-back morning of playing, coloring, reading and napping. I am definitely a homebody mom because these are my favorite kind of days. I just soak in our days at home.

Madeline and I read three chapters of "Charlotte's Web." She is loving this book and wants to read it all in one sitting. She especially loves listening while sitting on top of pillows on top of me.

Caleb has been eating rice cereal every now and then for a couple of weeks. At first he hated it.

Then he was kinda indifferent while pushing it out with his tongue. But on Friday, apparently he decided he could not get enough and began attacking the spoon with his mouth, hands and feet.

On Saturday morning, Joe made pancakes and we watched Andrew Luck's interview on Letterman. I'm very ready to cheer on a new Colts team and needed to meet my new quarterback. We tried to explain to Madeline how Luck is the new Peyton. This is a much more difficult concept for a 4-year-old to grasp than you would think. (Please note the two butter tubs on the table. I LOVE MY FAUX-BUTTER.)

After breakfast, we headed to one of our favorite places on Planet Earth, Midland Antiques. During this visit, we learned that part of Madeline's heart exists as a hot pink unicorn lamp and the visit turned into Mission No Unicorn Left Behind.

She fell in love with it and for $10, we needed to make this happen. So we bought it and she kept exclaiming, "I can't believe you bought me a pony!"

After we got home, we put the unicorn (now named Sandy, of course) on a dresser in Madeline's room, she laid down for a nap and I ran out for a few errands. When Madeline woke up, Joe texted me this photo. Apparently she wants to take Sandy everywhere with her. No one puts a unicorn in the corner.

On Sunday, we went to church, played Skip-Bo, watched "The IT Crowd" and went to a party with gobs of Joe's cousins. It was a fantastic party, thanks to all the fun people, spicy ribs and Chick-Fil-A waffle fries.

Then we came home for Sunday's family movie night and watched "Fantasia." Surprisingly, Madeline liked it. Joe made popcorn, of course.

Even if the world ran out of root beer, dairy-free ice cream and unicorn lamps, my life would still be fantastic, thanks to these kids, my husband and our times together.

The weekend we TORE IT UP

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:55:00 +0000

Before I can write a weekend wrap-up post, I have to share two things.

First, glow-in-the-dark pacifiers are genius. GENIUS. I bought two a couple weeks ago and I am thankful for that tiny glow in the crib every night. And when Caleb is old enough to find his pacifier during the night, I think I’m going to be even more grateful.

Secondly, I found a dairy-free butter and you will have to pry it from my piano-strong fingers to take it away. I ate way too many everything bagels and sweet Hawaiian rolls this weekend, all slathered in faux-butter. Have I mentioned I’ve missed butter? Because I have. So much. Oh, I love you faux-butter.

Friday night started the weekend with a bang. Joe ran out to pick up Taco Bell and we watched “Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows” while playing Skip-Bo. (Joe is currently beating me 245 – 210. He doesn’t understand why I keep score when we continually play game after game but I just always need to know. I think the official diagnosis is commonly known as “competitive.”) I really love watching the Sherlock films, how they are filmed and edited but I need to be honest. During all two hours, I understood what was happening only about 29 percent of the time.

On Saturday morning, Joe took Madeline out while Caleb and I slept in. It was a very lazy, very ideal morning. When they came back, Madeline and I drank tea while I read books on her bed. We all played My Little Pony board game, Skip-Bo and Crazy 8’s. Then we headed over to my parent’s house because Joe and I had our first date night since Caleb was born. I had a hard time leaving my little guy but I was so excited to have an adult night.

So what did we do without kids? We watched a teen movie, of course.

The first time we left Madeline was to watch “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.” This time, we watched “The Hunger Games.” I think these two “after baby” dates clearly epitomize my love for teen literature and my husband’s willingness to put my wants first.

When the movie was done, we checked in with my parents who told me, as nicely as they could, that my kids weren’t missing me at all and possibly may have even forgot about me.

So we decided to really live it up. We went crazy. Y’all, we decided to hit up the Sprint store and The Container Store. The only stop missing was a vegetable plate and cold custard cup from MCL. (And I’m only half joking. I love that meal.)

My phone has all kinds of issues so the Sprint people said the best thing to do was completely wipe and restart the phone, meaning I would lose all of my info, pictures and videos. In one moment, I knew my most precious things on my phone were my book list (of the books I've read so far in 2012), the list of names we went through for Caleb and this photo:

At The Container Store, we almost bought a trash can. We really need a trash can. We found one for exactly the same amount of money on our store credit card. But we didn't buy it, solely because we could not bring ourselves to buy a trash can on date night.

On Sunday, we went to the 11 a.m. service and were fashionably very late. Nothing reminds me more that I’m a parent to little one than missing the ENTIRE worship set. You know, the solid 30 minutes before the sermon.

Because Caleb can be a little diva at times, we mainly attend church by watching the service on the TV in the coffee shop. (What, isn’t your church is set-up like an airport?) Anyways, we sat with Joe’s cousin and wife, Josh and Erin. They like the coffee shop church experience because Erin is currently 41 weeks pregnant and finds it’s much more comfortable to sit there than in the sanctuary. (And when I say “much more comfortable,” I think we all know she's incapable of remembering the pure definition of comfortable at this point.)

Then we all went to Cracker Barrel after church. I was really excited but only slightly (read: terribly) bummed to realize I couldn’t eat anything on the menu. No pancakes. No biscuits. No gravy. Not even corn or green beans. I asked the waitress if any of the sides didn’t already have butter in them. Joe later asked why I actually asked if CRACKER BARREL didn't have BUTTER in their SIDE DISHES. I know.

I ordered a pork BBQ sandwich which was just OK. However, Joe ordered the meal of my dreams: chicken fried chicken with gravy, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, dumplings and biscuits.

There's a strong possibility that I will eat that meal the minute Caleb is weaned. That meal will live on in my dreams.

After our long lunch, we headed to Madeline's preschool for a spaghetti dinner and art show.

Clearly it was a fundraising event because we had the option of buying our child's art. Um, could anyone leave their child's art up on the art? No way. But it was money very well spent, despite the fact that I have approximately 382 paintings around my house right now.

Madeline loves, LOVES her teacher. I'm so very thankful her first experience with school has been so positive and all of that credit goes to this lady.

Then we came home for Sunday movie night and we watched "The Apple Dumpling Gang." Madeline loved it. I was trying to figure out why I loved it so much as a kid.

Then we put the kids to bed and watched "The Amazing Race" and ate carnitas. (I don't know why I feel compelled to tell you guys about every morsel I ate. I apologize. But I won't stop.)

I wanted to eat an entire pint of ice cream but controlled myself and went to bed, thinking about how I need to get back to The Container Store to buy that trash can. Awesome.

The long and short of it

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 11:18:00 +0000

Whoever coined "The days are long but the years are short" was sooooooo a parent because that phrase totally captures my life right now. (Hello, Valley Girl Katie. We meet again.) I feel like every day in April has been long and drawn-out and Joe's car never appears one minute too early on the curb.

But then suddenly it's Friday again, the month is nearly over and I'm wondering how I got here and who are these incredibly old kids calling me Mom?

Then I look through my phone pictures and I remember. Oh, yes. I remember. A good phone dump also explains why I'm tired all the time.

This is what happens when I attempt to read.

No, that's not a library book. Definitely not.

Madeline made a full recovery and learned all about outer space at school this week. (A picture of her astronaut suit will be posted soon. It is awesome.) Her class made a rocket ship and she firmly believes painting is a full-contact sport. This picture doesn't truly capture how there is paint in her hair, on her face, on her shirt, on her pants and on her shoes. Only the socks were left unscathed.

Caleb is now five months and nearly a man. (Slight exaggeration.)

He might be a fussy almost-man but oh my, I love him. You'll probably see his 5 month post in about 23 days. I would promise it sooner but let's be honest. There's "Duck Dynasty" and "The Soup" to be watched this weekend.

Speaking of growing older, here's a picture of Madeline looking all adult and all. Sure, she's sitting on a mini Mayan ruin outside The Children's Museum while rocking a Tinkerbell watch, Indian necklace and pink cowgirl boots but she also looks way older than possible because I'm pretty sure I gave birth to her just last month.

Last weekend, I got a text from Janna asking if she could bring something over. A few minutes later, she was on our porch with a bag full of this:

That would be SEVEN pints of dairy-free ice cream. If you don't know, dairy-free ice cream is expensive. Joe gave me three pints for my birthday because each one is several dollars a pop.The ones Janna brought over were originally $6.59 each. EACH.

But she got them marked down to $.99 (NINETY-NINE CENTS Y'ALL) and, because she loves me and knows how much I need this, she brought every last pint.

I know people tend to have strong feelings about Almond Joy candy bars. Love or hate, there's appears to be no middle ground. However, I'm in the love category of all things coconut which is so helpful being dairy-free. This ice cream is toasted almond chip coconut milk ice cream and tastes like a frozen Almond Joy.

I'm in heaven and need you guys to hold me accountable to not eat these before Cinco de Mayo. (There' s no significance to Cinco de Mayo; it's just that I don't need to eat seven pints of ice cream in two weeks. Specifically, my hips don't need that.) (My hips, they don't lie.)

May your weekend be filled with your equivalent of my root beer and back-woods reality shows.

P.S. I cannot get enough of this laugh.

Pirate days

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 03:48:00 +0000

Guess what Madeline has been learning about at preschool.

I know, I know. It would help if she were wearing a few visual clues.

She asked me to take a picture of her best pirate expression which turned into possibly one of my favorite photos ever.

Please note that she turned Caleb’s exersaucer into a pirate ship (the Jolly Roger is taped on in the back). I had no idea she was such a thuggish matey. Because, really, when most people meet Madeline, they are startled by how thuggish she is.

Every now and then, I have experiences I refer to (in my head) as “Total Mom Moments.” These are little fragments of time when I understand I am totally and completely, no-going-back, a real mom.

In the middle of errands this morning, I was nursing Caleb in the library parking lot when I got a call from Madeline’s preschool. She was in the director’s office with a stomachache and asking for me to come get her. In one moment, I was my son’s sole physical nourishment and my daughter’s sole emotional comfort and I wanted nothing more than to hold both of them right that second.

Total Mom Moment.

Also, I hadn’t showered, had yesterday’s eye liner smudged under my eyes and my left shoulder was stained in dried spit-up. And let’s not even discuss the status of the epic fabric disaster, formerly known as my Honda’s backseat.

Those things seal the deal too.

So instead of errands and a birthday party today, we came home and dealt with much vomit and diarrhea and a very sad, very sick little girl.

Madeline was really brave but I knew how terrible she felt by her mini-breakdowns throughout the day. After she threw up the first time, she looked at me with very pitiful eyes and said, “Oh Mom. I’m totally sick.”

Yes, she can be completely miserable, absolutely pathetic and yet captivatingly adorable, all at the same time.

So we cuddled on the couch in between numerous bathroom breaks and read all 82 stories in the Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever. Now, I like this book but OH YOU GUYS. I do not recommend reading it in one sitting. Your brain will beg for mercy in the form of an Elizabeth Gaskell novel or “Judge Judy” and yet, if you have a sick kiddo, your heart will deny you both.

I think I’ve clearly documented my inability to handle any form of expelled bodily fluid but I was pretty proud of myself today. I didn’t call Joe in for backup and I handled all the messes on my own, without throwing up myself. Poor Madeline knows she has a wimp of a mother and asked repeatedly, “Are you going to throw up, Mom?” with a very worried look on her face.

Today ended on a decent note. Madeline is still sick but doing much better. And if you want to see how she rolls on a sick day, this picture captures her personality so well.

Oh, I love my sick little pirate.

Hello Thursday??

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 09:28:00 +0000

This week has flown by. Joe has been working long days and then working on a side project in the evenings so the last couple of days have felt long and slightly blurry.

I've had better weeks than this one. While nothing awful has happened, not winning the Mega Millions or my NCAA brackets sure didn't help either. (I've heard buying lotto tickets actually increases one's chances of winning so maybe I should look into that next time.)

Today was one of my favorite days in preparing for Easter and I had been looking forward to sharing it with Madeline. We read the story of Jesus' death from the Jesus Storybook Bible and why He died a horrible death for us.

My favorite line in that Bible is, "It wasn't the nails that kept Jesus there. It was love." So we drew heart-shaped nail marks and when I looked at my hand throughout the day, I remembered just how overwhelming God's love is for me.

(Can you guess which hand I did and which hand she did? This girl loves to write names, especially on her own skin.)

And if you wonder why I love the Jesus Storybook Bible so much, this interview with the author makes it so so clear. I want to print out her words and tape them inside my head and my kids' heads. "The Bible isn't mainly about me, and what I should be doing. It's about God and what he has done." And we all said, "AMEN."

Jen Hatmaker's Easter posts (part one and part two) have been messing with me too and challenging me to wrestle with the fact that my purpose in life has nothing to do with being a sanitized rule keeper. I love how she says "the [American] church is not beyond the movement of Jesus" because I read this as "Katie is not beyond the movement of Jesus." There is so much hope for me to change.

Caleb has had a hard week and since he's almost 5 months old, he's at the point when everything will be blamed on teething. Fussy? Teething. Not sleeping well? Teething. Who knows if he is actually is teething but the little man is fussy and wants to be held around the clock.

I love holding him and will always pick snuggling with my kiddos over anything else but that means I haven't been productive at all, which is probably why:

I'm shocked it's already Thursday
We have no clean clothes
I'm sad to announce I finished "Doc Martin" season four and have no more to watch right now.

The temperatures have been summer-ish for a little while but now that Joe and Madeline have gone fishing, my mind has officially switched to summer mode. (Although can we all look into the possibility of having summer without bathing suits this year? Can this be the year it's stylish to wear an aquatic burka?)

There's so much I love about this picture from their smiles to the hot pink Barbie fishing pole. For the record, no matter how many "Duck Dynasty" or "Swamp People" shows I watch, I will never be able to hold a fish like that. Nor do I want to.

I've been researching different insurance plans for us and hopefully we will start saving a ton (and I mean a TON) of money when we switch. It's one of those things that I'm excited to learn we can save money but also so mad at myself for not looking into it sooner. Even though I'm thankful to have health insurance, now knowing how much we could have been saving makes me feel like we've been wasting money.

All this to say, nothing makes me feel more like a real adult than trying to figure out insurance and listening to Kenny G while on hold. Forget the fact that I have a husband, two kids and a mortgage. Just start talking HSAs and PPOs with a background of smooth saxophone and I suddenly feel ancient.

Final note. I've gotten into a very bad pattern of being exhausted between 3 - 5 p.m., telling myself I WILL go to bed at 8 p.m. that night but come kids bedtime, I stay up until midnight playing Skip-Bo and reading and watching TV. This is probably why my weeks are blurry.

P.S. If this post is more ramble-ly than usual, it's because it was written between 3:15 - 5:27 a.m. Ten bucks says I'll pass out on the couch this afternoon but stay up late tonight.

We had fun even if we didn't go frog hunting

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 01:50:00 +0000

Before I start my lengthy weekend recap: Oh my, Joe and I have been basking in the bliss of discovering a new show we both like. It’s called “Duck Dynasty” and I’m in love.

OH MY, Y’ALL.

I never would have dreamed that I would like a show in which one star sits in a huge camouflage recliner and eats squirrel while another wears a camouflage robe while yet another thinks frog hunting is the most fun one can have in life.

It’s pretty much the ultimate antithesis to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

For the record, Jase is my favorite but Phil is pretty unbelievable too. I will warn you, I’ve looked away several times because I’m extremely squeamish. I can’t handle “CSI” or any horror film and now I can add beheading frogs with a cleaver and skinning squirrels to the list.

But dude. This show is so worth it.

Anyways. On Friday night, we headed out for the monthly cousin game night. My mom called on the way and asked if they could take Madeline out for frozen yogurt. We u-turned and met them at Huddles because how can we deny a little girl some Mimi, Poppi and sprinkles? She was totally dressed for the occasion in her pink cowboy hat, Big Sister shirt and Minnie Mouse shoes.

My parents asked if she could spend the night if we wanted to stay out late which sounds even better to everyone involved. So we kissed our little girl goodnight and headed to the party. It was a night of games, snacks and storytelling. I laughed too much and ate a life-altering snack, bacon-wrapped water chestnuts. We stayed out way past our bedtime.

Even though we were dead tired when we got home, we managed to squeeze in one more “Duck Dynasty” episode before falling asleep.

On Saturday morning, I fed Caleb, did my BSF study and made cornbread and sausage for breakfast. After Joe woke up, we drank our coffee and tea and went to pick up our girl. We spent some time with my parents, which meant my dad pushed Caleb around the house in his office chair. For some reason, Poppi and the baby love this.

Then we headed up to Joe’s mom’s house to complete all happiness in Madeline’s childhood: her first horse ride.

I hope I never forget her face or her excitement. It was precious.

I'm not sure we'll ever be able to top this.

We went home and nothing exciting happened the evening except rounds and rounds of Skip-Bo. Joe and I are neck and neck right now.

Caleb was up a lot through the night and I’m so ready for him to sleep straight through. In the morning, Joe let me sleep in again. (Bless him.) When I woke up, Joe and Madeline were playing chess. I truly hope she learns that game with him because mama is more of a non-strategy/non-heavy thinking type girl herself. Like Scrabble, Boggle and all card games.

Joe ran out for a bit and called me to say he had a flat tire. Nothing’s dampens a blissful afternoon like the sudden impending cost of car tires.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in our front yard. Madeline laid out her blanket and pillow under a tree and ran down to the sidewalk every time a person walked by with a dog. Her latest thing is to invite anyone up on our front porch which makes me laugh. One neighbor and her son said yes, making Madeline giddy with excitement. Between her bike, chalk and toys, she was quickly overwhelmed by how much she wanted to show them and I had to keep reminding her to calm down. She makes it so easy for us to meet neighbors and that makes me so happy.

We came inside when it started to get dark and worked on our “Sense of the Resurrection” craft. We read the story of how Jesus was arrested and Madeline wanted to draw a picture of “the bad guys and Jesus and all the swords.” It left a big impression on her how Peter cut off a soldier’s ear. We watched “Madagascar 2” as our Sunday night movie. (I love Moto Moto. “The name so nice you say it twice.”)

We finally captured Caleb laughing on camera. I confess I've watched this video about 30 times. My son is uber adorable.

In which sleeping in and Skip-Bo were the highlights

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:49:00 +0000

(I realize today is Friday and this is a recap of last weekend but I forgot that I wrote this post and it needs to be published for all posterity. Or, you know, me.)

Friday night kicked off with a bang. I made a rare big Friday dinner of mesquite pork loin, potatoes and carrots. I know I just said going dairy-free ain't no big thing but I must say, mashed potatoes without butter, sour cream or cream cheese is just a lame poser for mashed potatoes.

We read "Little House on the Prairie" and our nightly family devotionals, "JesusCalling." (If you need a simple but powerful devotional, I really like this one.) Then we put Madeline to bed and watched mucho basketball and the finale of "Project Runway." I was so glad Mondo finally got his win and I'm pretty sure Austin lives on a different Planet Earth if he thinks real women wear his designs.

For the record, I really like Austin (even more when he finally shaved that awful mustache) but I don't know anyone who would wear his voluminous ball gowns or puffy pants.

(I like that I presented myself as a fashion authority in the previous paragraph. Just to make it clear, I buy nearly all of my clothes at Goodwill or Old Navy so I'm pretty sure my authority is the size of the M&Ms I'm forbidden to eat.)

At one point during the evening, I realized my body needs brownies immediately. So I found a recipe for dairy-free brownies and whip them up. They were pretty awful but we still managed to eat half the pan before bedtime.

Poor Caleb had a bad night and was up frequently. I last fed him around 6 a.m. and when I woke up at 8:30 a.m., Joe had both of the kids up and said Caleb was pretty happy. I went back to bed expecting to be woken up in about 30 minutes to feed Caleb.

At 11:45 a.m. (as in FIFTEEN MINUTES UNTIL NOON), I stumbled to the living room and asked why my phone said it was nearly Saturday afternoon. Turns out Joe took mercy on my pathetic exhausted state of affairs and closed the bedroom door instead of waking me up. Turns out my body needed to sleep like a college student after a week of all-nighters.

(Remember how we thought all-nighters were so cool when we were young? I think it's a sign of old age when you understand why sleep deprivation is a form of inhumane torture.)

As if letting me sleep in wasn't enough, Joe also made a pancake breakfast, washed all of the dishes (and there were a lot from the night before), sorted all the laundry and had loads running in the washer and dryer.

No, you cannot have this man. He is mine and he is a keeper. A KEEPER, I tell you.

He even took the cutest pictures of our kids.

Last weekend shall go down as the weekend Katie discovered Skip-Bo. I found a pack at Goodwill for $.99 and knew it was a great math game for kids. Little did I know that Joe and I would become addicted to it.

We played a couple games with Madeline but since last Saturday, Joe and I have played a couple hands every night. The game is over when someone gets 500 points. On Tuesday night, I had 490 points when Joe passed by me to win. Oh, it’s just GAME ON now.

At one point on Saturday afternoon, Jon and Janna stopped by because they had “something to drop off.” (We were, of course, in the middle of a Skip-Bo game.) That something turned out to be a ginormous ruler. I am enamored with it. I say ginormous because it's over six feet tall. I'll take a picture of it when we hang it but if you've come within at least 10 feet of someone who is on Pinterest, I'm sure you've seen a picture of something similar.

When I see a really cute DIY project, I think, “Oh, that’s cute. Maybe I can find it somewhere and buy it.” When Janna sees something cute in a store, she thinks, “Oh, that’s cute. I can make that.” And then she actually does.

I tell you what. A cake-baking, dessert-making, crafty sister-in-law ain’t a bad thing in life.

We also fed Caleb cereal for the first time. He was not impressed.

On Sunday, a miracle occurred. The clouds parted, the sun shined down and we actually made it to the 9 a.m. service. When this happens, it feels like an extra 17 hours have been tacked onto our Sunday.

So we stopped by our favorite hardware store on our way home from church, expecting to eat some popcorn that they always have available. It's one of Madeline's favorite places because her affection is easily bought by food of any size.

Little did we know the store was hosting several different food vendors so Madeline nearly ate her lunch there sampling chips and salsa, sausage breakfast sandwiches, pickles and, of course, popcorn.

I'm now convinced those are the world's best pickles and I'm just kicking myself for not writing down the brand name. They were memorable.

Joe was super productive and cleaned up our yard, prepping it for spring. Madeline helped him a lot.

Joe fashioned a throne for her by half cutting down some grasses.

We chose to continue the productive streak by fully catching up on “The Amazing Race” and “Celebrity Apprentice.”

This is why I love weekends.

Homeschooling, Easter and You Tube pranks. You know, the usual.

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 03:07:00 +0000

Madeline’s preschool is on spring break so we spent Monday and Tuesday checking out some school options. We’ve officially decided to (deep breath) homeschool her for kindergarten.

To answer all your questions,

Yes, I will be hitting up thrift stores for floor-length denim jumpers and prowling through You Tube for “How to Achieve a Perfect Bun” tutorials.
Yes, I will be baking only crusty, hard whole wheat bread from now on.
Yes, Madeline will go from social butterfly to socially awkward faster than you can say “wingardium leviosa.”
No, I’m not signing up to homeschool her and Caleb for the rest of their school career.

Only one of those statements is correct.

I’m taking this one year, one child at a time. Right now, I’m homeschooling Madeline for kindergarten and we’ll see how it goes. I’m ridiculously excited as well as scared out of my mind to do this. My list of reasons to homeschool is really long. I may type it all out some time so Madeline can understand later and so I can properly explain it to people but not right now. I have some other very important (not really) things to share instead.

Briefly back to explaining it to other people: OH MY WORD YOU GUYS. We’ve decided to homeschool for about 2.2 seconds and I’ve had to explain why about eleventy thousand times. I don’t mind explaining because I know doing something different prompts lots of questions but I just didn’t realize I signed myself up for a year of that.

I’m learning that this is very similar to deciding to not find out the gender of your baby. People tend to FREAK OUT at your choice. Hence the need to organize my reasons so I don’t splutter and grunt and resort to pointing fingers. “Uh, me like her. Her like learning.”

Anyways, back to the beginning. I am interested in putting her in a homeschool supplemental program/school/thingy once a week so she can have a school-like experience. This girl loves her some classroom structure, a teacher, classmates and crafts. And we all know mama ain’t into crafting. So we visited a couple different options and Madeline was sold on one because the kindergarten class had a fruit break at 10 a.m.

It's the little things, yo.

It was a big step for us to get to the point of ruling out traditional private and public schools and decide on homeschool. Now we have even more decisions. Which program or co-op do we join? What curriculum will we use? How do I not ruin my kid?

This is the point in the post when I say, if you are now or have ever homeschooled a kindergartner, feel free to give me any advice or tips. It’s not unsolicited. I’m asking for it.

This may even be a cry for help.

(Just kidding.)

(Kinda.)

Now onto other items.

Amanda at Impress Your Kids has been doing an awesome series called “A Sense of the Resurrection.” It’s a 10-day experience to help kids learn about the Easter story through their five senses. I’ve only done two days of it but I love it so far.

Yesterday, we read how Mary anointed Jesus’ feet with expensive perform (sense of smell) and decorated reed infusers to make the house smell good. We talked about how Mary was a sinner and how much Jesus loved her. Today we read about the Last Supper, broke a loaf of bread and ate it (sense of taste). We talked about communion and how Jesus was going to be broken in order to rescue us.

Amanda is extremely thoughtful at explaining the Gospel to little kids and I love that this series doesn’t require a lot of extra things (read: crafts). We’ve been following her recommendation to read the stories from the Bible so Madeline isn’t just hearing an abbreviated version but we’re also reading from The Jesus Storybook Bible because it’s awesome, for her and for me.

It’s not too late to start the series if you want to do it with your kids. It’s meant to last 10 days and while I don’t know her last two days yet, I assume you can do them on Easter weekend if you start later this week. I started it yesterday so we have a couple of freebie days if we skip a night or two. (I know myself too well and can easily envision me squeezing in three stories in one night.)

There is no easy segue from Jesus' death, burial and resurrection to a funny You Tube video so I'm just gonna go there.

A funny You Tube video can make my week. Recently Joe discovered some that made me laugh so hard until I cried. Honestly, I watched these videos again to post them here and I cried again. I really, really, really hope you like them.

I give you permission to watch the whole video but you absolutely must watch from the 2:16 mark on. Please. For me.

This one is short. You have time to watch this. Trust me. A worthy use of 39 seconds.

Tidbits

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 03:08:00 +0000

I feel like I've been neglecting this blog. It's not that I don't think about it because I do, probably too much. Every time Madeline says something adorable or I squeeze Caleb's chunky thighs for the 27th time before 9 a.m., I make a mental note to blog about it.

And then the day ends and I'm exhausted and I just want to veg out and watch "Castle" or "Project Runway," dream about the day when "Big Brother" will come back or read through my ever-growing stack of books.

And I don't feel blogger guilt. It's not that. I want to update because this is how I remember my kids' childhoods and my motherhood. I don't scrapbook. I barely take pictures and never actually print them out. I couldn't tell you what I did two days ago. But when I blog, I have those fleeting moments captured forever.

Or until the Internet breaks down or Google implodes.

So here are some things I need to write out.

Madeline: "Mom, I brushed my teeth twice tonight."

Me: "OK. Why?"

Madeline: "Well I don't really like brushing my teeth right now so I did it twice and I won't have to brush them tomorrow."

I'm still can't have dairy because Caleb is a much happier little turtle when I abstain. People are constantly telling me it must be so hard and how they could never do it. Know what's hard? Trying to calm a screaming baby who refuses to be calmed. Trust me, you'd give it up too.

I do miss butter, milk chocolate, butter, queso and butter desperately but it's really OK when I find amazing non-dairy recipes. My friend Katy told me to make these chocolate cupcakes and OH MY WORD YOU GUYS. They are amazing. I'm not just saying that because I haven't tasted most desserts in two months or because I'm in love with Katy's to-die-for Southern accent. Even Joe agreed that they were the best tasting and super moist chocolate cupcakes he's had. I will now be making this recipe for the rest of my life. I will say, I wasn't the biggest fan of the tofu icing but the cake part? Oh dude, I want to make them again right now because just thinking about them is torture.

(Sarah? If you're reading this and still can't have dairy, please make these.They will make your week.)

Joe shared this knock-knock joke today and it was like a million rays of warm sunlight dappling my day.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Jean-Claude van Damme.

Jean-Claude van Damme who?

That's show business!

Joe says you're welcome.

Temperatures this week have been hotter than I was mentally prepared for in March. Our closets were not prepared either because I had to hack the sleeves and pant legs off some of Madeline's clothes just so she could go to preschool and not sweat to death. We went straight to hot summer temps. We spent every day outside at a park or in the backyard.

It's been like summer, especially when it came to bath time for Madeline and the water ran brown.

(You might not be able to see it clearly but she wears a rainbow in her feet. She always insists on red, pink, green, blue and purple and I'm very happy to obliged this request. Love this girl.)

She even went outside on Friday morning despite the fact that it was a downpour. She asked to play outside and I said no because, hello, it was gray and nasty and wet. But then I thought about Angie's recent post about encouraging kids to play outside in all the elements (she does run The Risky Kids after all...) so I told Madeline to grab her rain boats and raincoat and go outside. She didn't quite believe me at first but when she realized I was serious, I gained about 47 Cool Mom Points. I told her to not worry about getting dirty and she took my words to heart.

I wish I took pictures of her splashing around the mud, sitting in the wetness. She loved it. Until she didn't. And then she wanted to change ASAP. (I don't blame her; the wet butt had to be annoying.)

I've always had a hard time finding good books for Madeline. We go to the library at least once a week (sometimes two or three times) and I'm constantly pulling random books off the shelves. Last time I blogged about this (a.k.a. lamenting this fact), Megan told me to check out "Honey for a Child's Heart."

Oh, Megan. You and Gladys have changed me life. I've been using that book during library trips for the past month or so and Madeline and I have been reading the best books. Seriously. It is so nice to re-read and re-read books that are delightful instead of boring and long (i.e. Madeline's favorite Barbie books).

We recently finished "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and "Gooney Bird Green" and we both loved them. It is a gift to read books with my girl.

Speaking of reading, Madeline has started to read a little on her own. Her preschool teacher suggested I let her try "Hop on Pop" since she knows all the letter sounds and she did fabulous. I was amazed at how quickly she could sound out and blend words. She was pretty excited too. It is just mindblowing to watch a person grow up and I am just so thankful I get to be her mom.

Her view

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 03:05:00 +0000

Madeline loves to take photos around the house. Most often, I let her snap away and then delete the 130 photos off the card.

This time I decided to keep some of them. I love seeing her perspective.

Daddy's Night

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 04:35:00 +0000

A significant event FINALLY happened last night. Madeline's preschool class had been planning a special Daddy's Night and to say Madeline was excited is like saying Ben should have ditched Courtney.

This girl loves her daddy and would shake with excitement when she talked about how she gets to bring him to school "when it's dark out." She insisted on wearing this outfit and at first I didn't understand. But then she said, "Daddy wears shirts with buttons and jeans and sandals."

She wants to be just like "the basketball player." I'm so thankful she's looking up to a good guy.

At Daddy's Night, she was chosen to lead everyone in the Pledge of Allegiance.

She sang five songs with her classmates.

She made ice cream in a can with her daddy.

Joe is a hero in Madeline's eyes and I love watching their relationship. His love for our kids is a gift to them but also to me. That they will grow up knowing every day that they are loved hard by their dad is beyond money, glamor and root beer to me.

When she came back home, it took her 21 minutes to tell me everything she got to do with her dad. She gets her brevity from me.

P.S. This is currently my favorite preschool song. And it ain't no big thing to ask her to perform.

On March 13, 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Katie @ Heart Gone Walking) — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 11:46:00 +0000

I know just 24 hours ago, I said I would never do this again. But by 8:30 a.m., I found it amusing how different the day already was from yesterday so I decided to write everything down. Again. I might do this every day this week. Every day is so different. (Also, I might not do this again. I'll let the Spirit lead.)

Writing down my days has explained why I don't make my bed some days. When I get in bed at night, I often get annoyed at myself that I didn't take one minute to make the bed but when I look at this list, I realize why I didn't have that minute.

***

March 13, 2012

3:03 C wakes to eat. I didn't bring my phone to bed. So tired and keep nodding off in the rocking chair. When he finishes eating, I am wide awake and look for my phone. Hard time falling asleep.

7-something Joe brings C to our bed. He already changed his diaper and had been playing with C. Joe sets up the play mat in bed. When I start talking, C wants to eat. I feed him in bed. I carry C to the front room to grab a book and two muffins and read and eat in bed while C plays on mat, my hand rubbing his tummy.

8:01 I call Lifeway to check if "Not a Fan" has been restocked. The salesperson will call me back. I keep reading until I hear M walking to the bathroom. I pick up C and go to the kitchen.

8:30 M asks for muffins and water. I get her breakfast, move the play mat to living room floor and set C down to he can watch M eat. I carry sorted laundry down to the basement and start a rinse cycle for the diaper load. I charge my phone which is about to die. C has big spit-up so I change his outfit and dress myself. C spits up on me immediately so I change into last night's shirt. M asks for dry cereal. She updates our countdown to St. Patrick's Day board.

8:50 I tell M to stop eating and get dressed for school. I set C on the play mat again, wipe down the table, sweep the crumbs and brush my teeth. M puts on a red dress, jeans and pink cowGIRL boots. She brushes her teeth while I brush her hair and clip in her Big Sister hair bow. I put my People magazine in her school bag for Jenn. I strap C into his car seat and grab my clutch. M is excited to ride in Joe's car.

9:09 We drive to preschool which starts at 9:15. I carry C in and hold M's hand. Parents and kids are waiting in the hallway, wondering where the teacher is. I chat with another mom whose son is 2 weeks younger than C. M's teacher comes in and acts like she's late. When she opens the door, everyone learns leprechauns have trashed the classroom. M doesn't say bye in the chaos. I leave while kids are still squealing in excitement and then remember to go back and get the People magazine would of M's bag and give it to Jenn. Jenn and I make plans to hang out tomorrow.

9:23 I drive away and call pediatrician's office to reschedule C's appointment. We get home, I change C's diaper and lay him down awake. I start the wash cycle for diapers. I miss Joe's call when I'm in the basement.

9:35 I call Joe back and talk for awhile while he drives to Richmond. I check on C and he's asleep. I start bringing up boxes from the basement and turn on "The People's Court."

9:50 Joe's cousin calls with questions about the St. Patrick's Day parade. (I'm known as an expert on the matter.) We make plans to meet up then. I bring up more boxes and start sorting into piles of trash, keeps and Goodwill. I start a new load of laundry and it wakes C.

10:22 C takes awhile to calm down, not sure why. I give him his medicine and he gets upset again.

10:43 C is finally calm enough to eat. I watch TV and scroll through my Reader. I send a couple texts. Lifeway calls me back but I let it go to voicemail so C will keep eating. I send some more texts.

11:03 C is still eating. I know I'll have to leave the house messy, a major pet peeve. I forgot I'm supposed to avoid People.com because I didn't watch "The Bachelor" last night. Finale is ruined. Ben is dumb.

11:17 I make C stop eating and he spits up all over. I change his diaper, his outfit and my shirt. I stick a spoon in the fake Nutella and take a quick bite before heading out the door.

11:31 I park, carry C in and wait in the hallway. When she comes out, M bypasses me and takes the longest drink ever at the drinking fountain. I chat with other moms. M wants me to see the classroom and shows me leprechaun footprints to start on Ireland on the map and lead out the window. I chat with her teachers. On the ride home, M tells me about making leprechaun binoculars, stamps and a letter to the leprechauns. She asks what we're doing today. I tell her we'll go to the park and she asks for a picnic.

11:47 At home, I put C on the play mat and start cleaning up. M asks about everything that is out. I move along the laundry and make our lunches (big salad for me, mac and cheese for her) while M reads on the couch. I fill up our Tervis cups, pack the small diaper bag. I go outside to get the stroller from the car and realize Joe has my car. I bring up the double stroller from the basement. M is worried about spiders on the stroller. I carry the stroller down to the sidewalk because it's too hard to maneuver down the stairs with C in it. I change C's diaper. It's now pretty warm outside so I also change him into a cooler outfit. I set C in the bumbo. I change my clothes, put on flip-flops and pull my hair into a ponytail. I ask M to take off her jeans and try to go to the bathroom. I check my phone and reply to some texts. M asks to bring her purse. It has a book, camera, phone, wallet and glasses.I put away a few things in the dining room and living room to leave it straighten. Joe calls but I don't answer so we can leave the house. C fusses so I move him to the mat and start carrying things out to the stroller. C starts crying. I pick him up and M follows us out. I strap C in and M is excited to stand on the stroller.

12:40 We walk to the park. I call Joe back and leave a voicemail.

12:46 We arrive at the park, find a shady spot, unpack M's lunch and leave C in stroller since he's happy. I start eating and Joe calls me back. C fusses so I pick him up and he slams his forehead into my big earring and cries hard. I tell Joe I'll call him back and soothe C. He has a mark on his forehead. I call Joe back and now M wants to talk to him. C is tired so I try to lay him down but he cries. Now he won't calm down even though I'm bouncing him around. M hands me the phone and I tell Joe I can't talk. M eats her lunch and bounce C around until he falls asleep. I lay him on a blanket and wrap him up. I eat and M asks to eat in the stroller. She is adorable with her glasses on. She watches everything that's happening on the playground and sand area. I finish eating and start writing these notes. M spots a little dog and asks to pet her. We chat with the owner. M throws away the trash from her lunch and runs off to play. I keep writing. C's sleeping well. M runs to me about a small cut on her toe. No idea what happened. Blood equals band-aid at our house so M is excited that she'll get one when we get home.

1:43 C wakes up super happy. I keep writing and watching M. She runs over to me, " Gee, Mom. All the kids keep leaving and I'm, like, what the heck?" I tell her it's nap time and she'll need to leave soon. She runs back to the playground. I change C's diaper.

2:00 I tell M we'll leave in a few minutes. I pack up our stuff and strap C in the stroller. I tell M it's time to go and she goes around to each kid and tells them bye.

2:05 We start walking home. M asks what we're doing today.

2:11 M plays with chalk on our porch while I unload the stroller. I pick C up and tell M to come in for nap. She reminds me about her cut and gets a Hello Kitty band-aid. I washed her feet and put the band-aid on. We all sit on her bed, sing the doxology and pray together.

2:22 I put in a "Midsomer Murder" episode and feed C.

2:53 I lay C down for a nap, bring up the laundry and start folding. I decide what to make for dinner. Joe tries to call me over and over but my phone is screwed up these days and it won't let me answer. M cries out in her sleep. I check on her and she's stirring. i go in, rub her back and she falls back asleep. Joe and I start texting. I keep folding. He calls again and I can answer. He's on his way but didn't eat lunch and will pick something up now. I change my dinner plans since he won't eat dinner and I ate lunch pretty late. Will just make something for M.

4:00 C fusses and wakes. I turn on "Judge Judy" and charge my phone. C is happy on my lap. I love rubbing his bare legs.

4:07 M comes out of her room and asks for a muffin. I get one for her and set it on a napkin. She sits at the table and tells me her favorite TV show is "Judge Judy." (Her passive way of asking if she can watch it.) I turn off the TV. M asks if we can go back to the park. I tell her she can play in the backyard.

4:14 I put away the folded laundry while carrying C. I change his diaper and M tells me she can't wear shoes because of the band-aid. I move the play mat by the backdoor and lay C down. M goes outside to play. I put away the clean dishes, wipe down the table and sweep under M's chair.

4:33 I start washing dishes. M asks for chalk. I dry my hands and get out new chalk. C is happy on the mat. I finish washing the dishes, wipe down the counter tops, bring up another load of laundry and fold in the toy room by C.

5:03 C fusses so I put him in the sling and keep folding. M is writing all over the fence and steps. Joe comes home and M is so excited. I put away the laundry and Joe takes C. He makes him laugh by tickling him. I make a dinner plate for M and ask her to wash her hands. I sit on the couch and feed C.

5:31 C is done eating and I give him to Joe. I take a shower, get dressed and put on make-up. I tell M needs to be done eating and to wash her hands. I look in the diaper bag and throw in a few burp cloths.

5:50 Joe loads the kids in the car while I fill up my Katie cup and lock the door. We drive to our small group and pick up Joanna on the way because she's babysitting the kids tonight.

6:30 We have our small group and are starting a new study on "Not a Fan." Vicky made angel food cake and strawberries to celebrate the March birthday people. Very thoughtful because it's dairy-free and it's so so good.

8:55 We load up the kids and start driving home. I am starving. We drop off Joanna and I send a text to Jon and Janna. We have their keys since I drove them to the airport last week. We drop off the keys and drive home. Tell M to get ready for bed. I eat a couple pieces of salami and pretzels before I pick up C. I feed C on the couch and Joe puts M to bed. C doesn't eat very well. He just wants to smile at me. Cute but I'm about to pass out from hunger pains.

10:00 Finally stop trying to get him to eat and hand him to Joe. I make a big salad again.

10:14 Jaime calls me. Joe changes his diaper, puts him in PJs but when he tries to lay C down but he cries. I try to feed him again. He's still upset so Joe takes him and calms him down.

10:30 I eat my salad and go through my Reader. Joe comes out of C's room and we watch "New Girl" together. I eat the last of my dairy-free ice cream.

11:15 I pick up the living room and dining room, check on M, brush my teeth and go to bed. I fall asleep immediately.