Healthy Living DIY

Watching Over Mom

2010-03-26T03:00:01Z

Are you part of the generation whose parents are moving into a life stage that requires extra care? Or perhaps you've got a child heading off to school for the first time... a loved one who works far from home... a teenager who just began dating... a friend or relative transitioning into another state, whether through birth or death... a close one whose relationship status is changing (perhaps your own ex- significant other)... or even a buddy heading out on a road trip? The key feature is this: your loved one is moving out of his or her familiar environment and into the vast unknown. While you have complete confidence in their ability to handle whatever might arise in the situation you're all used to, given these new circumstances, there's some cause for concern. How will they handle the changes? Will they be ok? Let's face it. You care. And yet... You are aware enough to realize that you're not privvy to the agreement between your loved one and his or her Creator. You are not in control of their journey. You are, however, responsible for your own well-being, and it could easily be compromised by excessive worry. Furthermore you may recognize that, worry being a form of prayer, continual fear-based thoughts directed toward your loved one could actually make things worse. Despite the challenging circumstances, you're motivated to maintain a peaceful and positive state of mind. But how? Fortunately, there are two specific things you can do that will both enhance your own peace of mind and support your loved one. Let's consider your support of a relative whose state is changing. We'll call her Mom. First: Keep your communication up to date, complete, and honest. Things happen. A person never really knows which conversation will be the last one in which both parties are fully present. Even if your loved one emerges well and healthy from a challenge, you don't want them squandering their precious life-force energy on doubt about the quality of your connection. It can be scary to take your communication to that next level. You make yourself vulnerable. You don't know how your loved one will respond. And yet I'll promise you this: sharing yourself with a loved one authentically and from an open heart will rarely backfire. Even if they bluster and 'humpf,' they will have heard you. They'll repeat your words in the privacy of their own mind, allowing the evidence of your care to filter in as they are able. You will have made a difference. A simple, "I love you, Mom" may do the trick. Or take the window of opportunity to recall a treasured memory, appreciate your loved one's best qualities, or apologize for any misunderstandings. Try these examples on for size: "Mom, do you remember when we went to the art show together when I was 4? You explained everything so well and even waited patiently while I drew my own picture for the kids' contest. I still appreciate that day so much!" "Mom, I'm so grateful that you understood it was an accident when I pitched that baseball through the patio door. I know you and dad gave up some things for yourselves to replace that door. I've tried to be just as compassionate with my own kids when they mess up." "Mom, I want to apologize for seeing you as a control freak when I was a young adult. At the time, I thought you were trying to run my life. Now I can see that you were trying to make sure I had the skills I needed to live well and be happy. That really is what you wanted for me, isn't it?" Second: Surrender your loved one's safe-keeping to a higher power. Having done everything in your own power to make sure that your loved one's needs are being met in the best way possible, recognize that the final outcome is not within your control. Surrender their safe-keeping to a higher power and you'll find that your own peace of mind will be restored. This will enable you to be more in touch with your own intuitive guidance and, ultimately, a more effective caretaker. Here are five simple steps you can use to surrender your loved one's safe-keeping today: 1. Create a short sentence or phrase you can remember and repeat easily in requesting your loved one's protection. It should convey simply the full emotion you feel in your heart for your loved one. Perhaps it will go something like this, "Please watch over my sweet mother, whom I love and cherish so much." Notice that an endearing word like "sweet" makes a big difference in the feel of this sentence. 2. Conduct this two-part test to see if you've created a phrase or sentence that expresses the feeling you're after. First, repeat the sentence either silently in your mind or out loud. Notice how you feel. If you get a sense of peace, relaxation, connection, a warm feeling in your chest, or any other signal of positive emotion, then you're on the right track. Next, picture your loved one in your mind's eye. Repeat the sentence again. Observe how your loved one's facial expression responds to your statement. If Mom looks peaceful, happy, and perhaps even glows a little, then you've got a good phrase. If not, then tweak it slightly until both you and your loved one respond pleasantly to the words. 3. Addressing the higher power to whom you most easily relate in this situation (for example God, Jesus, or protective Archangel Michael), make your request. "God, please watch over my sweet mother, whom I love and cherish so much. Thank you." 4. Notice how you feel. If you are still worried, repeat the sentence. Continue observing your feelings and repeating the sentence until you sense that your request has been heard. This will most likely occur for you as a sense of peace or calmness. Don't be concerned about how many repetitions it takes in order to bring yourself to a place of peace. It is only important that you continue making the request until you know it's been heard. 5. From your now calm perspective, you may be inspired to take further action on your loved one's behalf. Honor the inspiration and follow through. You may be called upon to serve as an earthly agent of the higher power to whom you just prayed. Once you've completed this simple process, relax in the knowledge that your loved one is well protected. You may be surprised by the duration of the peace that will come over you once you really know that all is well. Should you become concerned about your loved one again, there's no real need to worry. You know what to do!

Are You Average?

2010-01-13T04:30:14Z

Average. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. How about you? Where in your life ARE you "set" on average (statistically speaking)? Where are you not? Where in your life would you LIKE to be average (statistically speaking)? Where would you not? It's this last category that fascinates me the most. The parts of my life in which I would most definitely not prefer to be addicted to "average." For instance... * Average number of children per family. In North Dakota, where I live, the year 2000 US Census says that the "average" family has .92 children. Ok, it's interesting to look down the list of states and see that families are a little larger here compared with some other places. But who wants to look across the table and say "good morning" to .92 of a kid? Really, what important part do they leave off? * Fitness. Several years ago, I took a cardiac stress test (and passed, thank goodness). At the time, I was heavily involved in practicing karate -- ten to twelve hours a week. The stress test technician said my results were "above average." Well, I should hope so! * Health. Imagine that despite your best efforts, you develop a serious health condition. You look at the statistics and learn that the "average" person with your same condition has a 55.8% chance of not surviving the next 5 years. Do you want to be average? Of course not! You want to know who's in the 44.2% that thrives, find out what they do, and learn to do the same things yourself. (By the way, I have the pleasure of knowing a fantastic lady who, some 20 years ago, was told she had a 97% chance of not recovering from her condition. She's a solid 3-percenter, all right!) * Marital relationships. Let's say you live in a community of about 40,000, here in beautiful North Dakota. Well, chances are that 120 of your fellow community members are going to get divorced next year. It's a rather low statistic, but who wants to be one of the 120? And of course we're not going to mention people who are married, yet dissatisfied with the quality of their relationship. Why not, instead, seek out information about what makes relationships work well and focus on those factors? Why be average? * Dating. I recently read a statistic that says 85% of men are stonewallers (though it seems I cannot retrace my steps to find the source). Sorry, guys. A lot of women stonewall communication from time to time, too. Stonewalling is a term used by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman to describe a situation of deliberate refusal to communicate. Gottman considers it one of the 4 most destructive emotional patterns between intimate partners. So back to the date. Let's say the guy or gal across the table from you unexpectedly clams up. Remember, 85% of men are stonewallers. Would you rather throw up your hands and pitch an otherwise appealing companion back into the pool or work together to improve your communication skills? * Income. Enough said... * Procrastination. According to procrastination expert, Dr. Piers Steel, 95% of us are occasional procrastinators. Worse yet, 15 - 20% of us procrastinate consistently. Knowing that even occasional procrastination wastes vital energy and depletes a person of their confidence, wouldn't it make sense to get past it? This is one area of life in which I really do not want to be average! I've seen for myself the "miracles" that occur in my life when I take the one little step after another to remove obstacles to success. I've seen the same in the lives of my coaching clients. The results we've created go way beyond average. How about you? Are you average? Or are you ready to become spectacular?

Abundance in the Desert

2009-12-24T21:00:56Z

Imagine you are lost in the desert. I'm hopeful that you must imagine this, as I do, because I am hopeful that you have never actually been lost in the desert. Yet from time to time in life you may have felt as though you were. I have visited the desert, though. Perhaps you have also. Can you think of a time when you were hot, tired, and thirsty, as a person might be while they wandered the desert? For me, the occasion that stands out is a 2-1/2 hour hike straight up and out of the Grand Canyon one memorable August afternoon. I emerged hot, thirsty, and ravenously hungry. See if you can find a similar experience in your own memory. I have been lost outdoors. Perhaps you have also. It can be a little scary, especially under adverse weather conditions. In my case, it was nighttime, a steady light rain was falling, I had no rain gear, the temperature was quite cool, and my clothing was wet. I was completely disoriented in a large grove of pine trees and, due to the cloud cover, unable to even gather my bearings from the sky. Can you find a similar experience in your memory? Now put them together. You are very thirsty, tired, disoriented, and slightly scared. You're not sure where to go next, and yet you do know one thing. You must find water. You may have felt the same way from time to time in your life. Of course "desert" is a metaphor and the thing you so urgently seek in life may be something other than water. Money to pay the bills, perhaps. Companionship. A safe place to live. Love. Let's get you out of the desert. As you wander through the desert, it may seem that water eludes you intentionally. From the wilderness survival training I've taken over the years, I *know* that there is plenty of water to be found in the desert if a person knows where to look. Yet to the untrained eye, it may be elusive. Furthermore, the moisture that the untrained person stumbles upon may take a shape that is far removed from the image of that cool bubbling spring he continues to picture in the privacy of his own mind. Insects, for example. The inside part of a cactus. Dew licked off a flat surface first thing in the morning. A clever and resourceful person could probably survive for quite a while in the desert on such moisture. Yet she wouldn't thrive. Her thirst would never really be satisfied. She would continue to wander in search of that cool bubbling spring. For a while. After a while, our wanderer would most likely acclimate to the conditions. Learn to take sustenance from the cactus and morning dew. Possibly even forget the image of that cool bubbling spring. He would adjust his aspirations to match the landscape around him. One day, though, it could happen. One day, having completely given up the search for that cool bubbling spring, after having accepted that it is possible to survive in even the harshest of conditions on less than she would have thought possible, our wanderer might find a surprise. Turning round a corner, there is the spring! It's just as she'd imagined it! Cool, bubbling, and surrounded by trees and grasses. Amazing! How could she not have turned round that same corner before? Well, perhaps she had. You see, as long as the wanderer believes he is in the desert, he will view a desert landscape. Cool bubbling springs surrounded by lush vegetation do not occur in the desert. Reason tells him so. Therefore, even though the spring he's seeking might be close at hand, he is unlikely to take the turn that allows him to view it in all its glory. At worst, our wanderer (in the story of your life, this is you) will come to believe that she's set her aspirations too high. There is no completely satisfying vocation, perfect affordable housing, or well-matched life partner. This is life in the desert. A person must be realistic. Work to pay the bills, live in a marginal neighborhood, accept the companionship of a partner with whom you do not thrive. Here is your Christmas present. You do not live in the desert. Your aspirations are not set too high. Shift your vision. See abundance. Watch for evidence of the missing piece of your life showing up around you. But wait. You may be able to see it before you're able to access it. Perhaps it's as though you can see that spring from across a deep ravine. You can see it over there. You know it exists. Yet you can't quite drink from it. Take heart. Once you can see the state you desire, you're nearly there. This is where you apply the lesson of becoming "un-lost." Anytime you feel lost, you can take confidence in the fact that there surely is also a state of being "un-lost." After all, you lived there just a little bit ago! The only thing missing is the awareness of a clear path to get there. Here's what to do. Ask for guidance. Call upon every angel, saint, or higher power you can think of and ask them to guide you. If you're literally lost outdoors, ask the landscape itself to reveal your best pathway. Then simply have faith and follow the guidance. It will be revealed to you, just as that grove of pine trees showed me the route to their boundary on that cool rainy night. Within moments, I was safe and warm in my sleeping bag. You'll be safe, too. Merry Christmas!

Why Am I So Exhausted?

2009-11-20T15:06:16Z

Exhaustion, tiredness, fatigue, lethargy. Whatever name you give it in your own mind, a chronic lack of energy is way too common these days. In fact, as a holistic health practitioner, "Why am I so tired" is one of the most frequent questions people ask! With that in mind, let's explore some surprisingly obvious yet frequently overlooked reasons for that zapped-out feeling. We'll also consider some "natural cures" to get you back to feeling your best! Today, we'll start with awareness. How does a person recognize that their energy is low? No, I'm not kidding. It can be surprisingly easy to overlook or misread the early signals of energy-drain. You see, once a person reaches the stage of being completely exhausted, they are usually painfully aware that something is wrong. Yet there are often subtle signs that preceed catastrophe. The trick is to learn how to recognize them! We humans are great compensators. When your energy begins to drop, your first thought is not necessarily going to be, "I am losing energy. Time to plug the leak!" Instead, if you're like most people, you will try accomodate the condition and/or do what you can to make yourself feel better. Of course that may lead to other problems. Most of the time, it's better to catch on early. Early signals that your life-force energy is becoming depleted: * You are less tolerant than usual when it comes to other peoples' quirks and mistakes. * You notice that your posture sags, you slouch, your upper back and neck feel tight. * You notice yourself yawning a lot in the afternoons. * You find yourself reaching for caffeine or sugar to get some energy; for alcohol or prescribed medications to "relax" or shut off your mind. * It feels harder than ever to get out of bed in the morning. * You dread going to work, hearing the phone ring, or even leaving the house. * You find yourself avoiding or dreading contact with certain people. They seem difficult to be around. * You, a person who normally takes pride in your appearance, find yourself out in public looking "rumpled." * You, a fastidious housekeeper, find yourself mired in clutter and dust. * Although you feel tired in the evenings, you delay going to bed because there is so much to do. Yet you are too tired to actually complete many of the activities you're staying up for. * You have a vague sense of being trapped by some condition in your life. * You notice you're not as happy or joyful as you used to be. Life may even seem like a burden. As you've read down this list, perhaps you'll think of some other signals of being ill at ease, whether they're examples from your own experience or things you've observed in others. Please add them in to the comments section below. Your thoughtfulness may help someone else. As you tune in to what's going on at the early stages of energy discord, you're able to take positive steps to bring balance and joy back into your life. When things are well, you will feel happy, enjoy your encounters with other people, feel pleasantly challenged and rewarded by your daily work or activities, and be comfortable in your body. As this article series continues, that's exactly where we're headed!

Limiting Beliefs of the most Insidious Kind (The ones you don't know about.)

2009-09-15T20:36:52Z

"Why even offer Wellness Coaching? After all, isn't it less challenging work to simply treat people's symptoms?" Seriously, this is a question people ask. The answer is "yes." It's actually much less challenging work for me to simply treat a symptom and send the person home. Yet treating and retreating symptoms that have the possibility of being resolved presents its own challenge -- to my value system. That is why, a number of years ago, I shifted gears in my personal study to gain a better understanding of how and why unconscious limiting beliefs affect body structure (and a whole lot of other health-related symptoms). Here is the story: Since 1992, I have practiced the bodywork system known as neuromuscular therapy. One of our main goals is to get a person's body into better alignment, which in turn relieves pressure on joints, muscles and nerves, relieving pain. I quickly realized that certain stress patterns, as I commonly call them, create misalignment in the body. There is the stress of poor self-esteem and feelings of victimization, which produces a particular type of misalignment. The stress of frustration and powerlessness creates a different type of misalignment. The stress of unmanaged resentment and anger produces different alignment problems yet. And so it goes. In truth, the stress patterns that each individual person deals with are as unique as their body alignment problems. Most of these stress patterns have their foundations in unique-to-the-person unrecognized limiting beliefs. It didn't take too long for me to realize that unless I (or someone else) helped a person to recognize and work through those beliefs, their lifestyle stress would continue re-creating the exact same patterns they were asking me to correct through bodywork. Indefinitely! Ultimately, this phenomenon became the main focus of study for my doctoral program. Ultimately, the Word Cures Wellness Coaching Program was born. It's premise is this. If there is something you keep saying you want in your life, yet you haven't managed to attract or create it, that discord is stressful to you. Stress, as you already know, creates pain and ill health. There is a reason you haven't managed to attract or create the thing you say you want. If there were no reason, you would have attracted or created it by now and there would be no discord in your life on that particular issue. The reason is most assuredly founded in some kind of limiting belief, most likely an unrecognized one. The limiting belief is nearly always false, so it gives you consistent yet incorrect information about how to make important choices in your life. When you go "down the path toward that thing you say you really want to create or attract," you will meet the limiting belief head-on. You may not recognize it directly. Often, it occurs as a sense of discomfort -- a sense that if you were to take that next necessary step, you would exceed your comfort zone. If that feeling stops you (and most likely it does), the predictable result is that the thing you so desperately want to attract or create will remain just out of reach. Setting out to achieve the desired goal on your own can be frustrating. You may find that you fall short of success without understanding why. It can become tiresome. On the other hand, when you approach the desired goal within the context of a Wellness Coaching Program, if you are really committed to your goal, we will gently work through the discomfort to find out what's going on behind the scenes. You'll have an opportunity to break through the limits that have held you back in the past. "Woo-hoo!" you'll most likely say, once you realize how great things feel on the other side of that roadblock. Depending on your intended goal, you might become a person who... * Has actually written and published your first book, rather than wishing you could get around to it * Has a satisfying relationship with your spouse, rather than secretly plotting out your exit strategy * Has the extra cash to give your youngest child a special and cool graduation party, rather than settling for Subway * Lives in a blissfully de-cluttered home rather than one in which you trip over stuff changing rooms * Weighs 35 pounds less than you used to rather than wondering how much bigger that waistband can stretch These are actual results from real coaching clients! What would you like to "bring home" next in your life? Perhaps this is the right time for Wellness Coaching. Sessions begin September 15, January 15, and May 15. You deserve the best life has to offer!

Engage Creativity -- Resolve Stress!

2009-09-09T22:31:19Z

Creative problem-solvers are rarely stressed for very long. What is their secret? It's simple. When something puzzling tugs their tail, creative problem-solvers are pretty well sure that they will be able to come up with a satisfactory solution. They don't waste a lot of energy worrying. Instead, they set out on a two-step process that virtually guarantees success and a good night's sleep. Not all "creative personalities" have the process worked out so smoothly, of course. Sometimes a great solution will "pop" into their head, yet on other occasions it eludes them. Like anything else, creative problem-solving works best when you engage it consciously and practice often. Want to give it a try? Here's how: Step 1: Clearly state your question. Your goal in step 1 is to identify a question that, when answered, will shed some light on your situation and move you forward to its next stage. For example: * If you are stressed out about your finances, perhaps you'll set up a question like "What kind of unique product or service can I easily deliver that will make life more pleasant for the good folks of my community?" * If you are at a crossroads in your life and looking for direction about what to do next, your question might sound like "What would I do tomorrow if I had the day off and no responsibilities to be concerned about? What if I had a whole month?" * If you're dealing with a health challenge, maybe you'll ask "What old ways of thinking and feeling can I let go of now in order to allow for more joy in my life?" (Those "feel-good" hormones enhance your energy and vitality.) Step 2: Put yourself in a situation in which creative insight is likely to occur. If you're thinking that this process is going to be a lot of hard work, I hate to disappoint you. But... "Thinking about" your question is unlikely to get you the answer you're looking for. Chances are you've done that already, and you already know what you think. Instead, break out your dancing shoes (or hiking boots, or opera glasses) and go out on the town! Step 2 can be a whole lot of fun! You see, creative insight is most likely to occur when you are relaxed. You'll be even more easily inspired when you get out of your normal day-to-day environment and put yourself into a safe yet slightly unfamiliar situation. Consider the possibilities: * Get moving -- take a walk in the park. * Browse at a shop you'd normally never stop in, preferably someplace slightly eccentric. * Go to a concert, the theater, or catch an opera! (If you're in Minot, ND this weekend, you're in luck. Check out "The Bartered Bride" at Minot State University's Nelson Hall on Friday or Saturday at 7:30 or Sunday at 3:00.) * Attend a worship service at a different church than you normally attend. * Visit the library or your favorite bookstore and pick up a couple of magazines on topics you know little about. Read them cover to cover, including the ads. * Go for a drive in the country. * Luxuriate in a bubble bath. Here's the thing. You get your question in mind, then distract yourself by doing something active or slightly off the wall. As you engage in the process, be aware for clues ... ideas ... hints. When you get back home, pick up your notebook and answer the question. It's a process I like to call "incubation." You might be surprised at what you come up with!

Avoiding Higher Guidance

2009-09-01T21:31:44Z

Avoiding Higher Guidance. I think that from time to time we must all do it. You know the drill: your plea goes out to those Higher Powered Beings who surely must be able, from their lofty and objective vantage points, to see the solutions that elude you: * Should I move or stay put? * Is there a better job out there for me? * Am I headed in the right direction with my life? * I'm exhausted all the time. Where's all my energy going? * How can I get my health in order? * Where should I look to find that special someone? * What is the very next thing I should do to move forward with my life? You ask the question and then patiently wait for an answer. It comes, in the form of repeated thoughts, ideas, and conversations. But it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Perhaps the proposed next step is a bit intimidating. Maybe you don't see how the answer you got relates back to your initial question. So you avoid it. Simple enough. At least it sounds simple at first. Except you're still in the same pickle you were in before. Living in a place that doesn't fit your next step in life, working at an unfulfilling job, lonely, and chronically tired ... or whatever the case may be. And now you have the added complication of knowing that there's something else available you could do to change it. If only you were really sure. So you ask again. You get the same answer. You continue to avoid it. The more you ask, the more you hear the same thing: * There's a great opportunity for you in Seattle. Better move. * You're exhausted because you're spinning your wheels in a dead-end relationship. Get out. * This would be a good time to take up an exercise program and improve your diet. * It might be wise to go to the chiropractor. I got that last one once. Couldn't figure out why I was being guided to the chiropractor, because I really wasn't having any kind of pain problem that I thought he could help. It wasn't just any old chiropractor, but a specific doctor. In my mind's eye, I could see myself walking through the door of his office. So I went. Sometimes you've just gotta trust that the guidance is good and follow it. I phoned the chiropractor's office, made an appointment, and went in. Boy was I glad I had. He gave me a routine adjustment that I probably didn't need. But the conversation we had completely changed my perspective on a health problem that had hijacked my life experience at the time. What a well-timed insight! So why is that much-wanted guidance so tempting to avoid? Frequently it's because it pushes you beyond your comfort zone. You're guided to change an unhealthy, yet familiar, behavior. Or pursue an action that seems emotionally risky. Or do something odd -- like visit the chiropractor -- that seems unrelated to the situation at hand. Because you want to see the end of the story before you take that next brave step! But life doesn't always work that way. Sometimes it's truly a matter of setting your eyes on the prize (so to speak), and then following through step by tentative step until you reach your goal. What is your goal right now? * To identify the most opportune place to live? * To immerse yourself in a more fulfilling line of work? * To get your energy back? * To optimize your health? * To attract a loving relationship? * To become so in tune with your life purpose that you know you are living on purpose? * To pursue and finish a creative project? * To clean out the basement? If you're at a place where you're hearing that higher guidance yet putting it off, perhaps this is a good time to take it to heart. If you're the kind of person who finds a supportive environment and objective coaching helpful in these kinds of situations, then you're in luck. Enrollment for our fall 2009 group wellness coaching starts today. The session begins on September 15th and completes on December 15th, so you'll be finished up before the holidays. Is the time right to follow that Higher Guidance? Only you know. If your heart says "yes," then see if our wellness coaching program feels right to you.

Fresh Foods Taste Great!

2009-08-04T15:13:59Z

Fresh local produce in season. Don't you just love it? Mmmm. I don't know about you, but I just can hardly wait for that first tomato of the season! Fresh produce tastes great and it's good for you. In fact, it's National Farmer's Market Week! Hoo boy! To help you plan your shopping, the good folks at Rodale have just put together an informative article on tips for the farmer's market. Once you've done your shopping, if you're interested in some cool veggie information (this might even get the kids interested) and fresh serving suggestions, check out the Fresh Garden Energy website. Creative collaborator Judy and I are just tweaking the finishing touches...

Healing Intent and Commitment

2009-07-29T15:30:33Z

Commitment to healing (or its lack) is a perpetuating factor that sometimes trips people up. When I say "sometimes," what I really mean is that it's one of the most frequent conflicts I observe in people from day to day. Of course that does not mean that people don't want to be healthy. Most people do! What it means is that there's something else that they also want, the two desires conflict, and the health-building process effectively "stalls in the water." Before we get into that list of possible conflicting desires (it's coming), let's look at this a little differently. What would it look like if someone with very few conflicting desires were to step through the door? How would the engagement go? What would be the results? I had the pleasure of meeting such a person about two weeks ago. He phoned on a Monday morning to inquire about an appointment. When I asked about his availability, he responded "I'm really tired of this pain." Already, I suspected that things were going to go well. He was focused and flexible! Such a person, clear on their priorities and commitments, has an amazing ability to mold his environment. As it so happens, I had an opening in an hour. He found a way to make it work and arrived right on time. Fortunately, this gentleman was not dealing with a long-term problem. Something had happened a couple weeks prior and he'd sustained an injury. Had he not found a solution it might have become a chronic problem, but at the stage when he arrived here his pain -- while intense -- was fairly recent. That was a good thing! After the first treatment, the gentleman reported that he'd felt some improvement. That was obvious, of course, because his demeanor had changed. I could see he felt better. He was relieved, especially since I was the third practitioner he'd visited in an attempt to resolve this thing. The gentleman wanted to know how soon he could come back for another treatment. "Is tomorrow too soon?" he asked. "Or would it be better to wait until Wednesday?" Long story short, he came in twice more that week and once again the following week. Four times. At that point, his problem was substantially improved. Unless something else happens, I probably won't see him again for a while. I've been seeing clients on a full-time basis for the relief of musculoskeletal pain problems for upwards of 15 years, having worked in the field for another 5 years before that. This engagement was not typical. Here are several things this particular gentleman did that made things work out so well... * He immediately prioritized the follow-up visits in his schedule and got himself back quickly, allowing us to build on the improvment he had realized in the first treatment. * He assumed financial responsibility for the treatments as being necessary to his well-being. * He asked about what he might do to support the treatment on his own and followed through between visits. * He arrived for all of his follow-up visits right on schedule. * I never saw nor heard a cell phone. (I assume he has one.) He focused on the task at hand -- the treatment -- and let whatever else might have been going on in his life wait. * Interestingly, his intention was so clear that all the appointments he needed were open in my schedule! I suspect that some people, reading about this engagement, might think that the man was lucky. Leading a charmed life. Retired, perhaps, or independently wealthy. The answer is no. He is a businessman with a hefty responsibility load. Where he differs from most people is in his vision and commitment. "What do we need to do to make this work?" he seems to be asking himself continuously. And then he follows through. I get to meet the most interesting people! Everyone has their strengths, of course, and that means you. Yet perhaps you would like to increase your commitment to healing. Perhaps you're searching for more efficient or consistent results. Here are some things to watch for. Checklist of desires that may conflict with healing intent: * Desire to put other people's needs, wants, and projects before your own. * Desire to maintain an old disempowering story about your life. It might start out something like this, "Nothing I want ever comes through anyway. I guess I'm just not lucky like other people..." * Desire to follow the strategy that seems "easiest" or "hardest" (depending on your outlook) rather than the strategy that seems most likely to deliver your desired result. * Desire to continue doing things the way you've always done them rather than re-evaluating for changing conditions. And one more thing... * Willingness to accept what you think you can get rather than what you really want. Ok. You are ready to go! You are powerful, clear and focused. Watch for conflicting desires, resolve them, and live from your commitment to wholeness. Sometimes, of course, that goes more easily with support. That's why we offer wellness coaching. Think about it if you've been having difficulty getting this down on your own.

Perpetuating Factors that Affect Your Health

2009-07-28T14:52:14Z

In their landmark reference book on Trigger Points, Drs. Janet Travell and David Simons devote an entire chapter to perpetuating factors. (Volume one, chapter four). Why? Easy. Because without addressing the factors that perpetuate a health condition, the condition is sure to persist. They are really important! People sometimes are disappointed to hear this. "Poor nutrition didn't cause my neck pain," they'll say. "So what does it matter how I eat now? I just want to get rid of the pain. I'm just not ready for an entire healthy lifestyle makeover." However... That is the exact nature of a perpetuating factor. It stands to perpetuate a condition it may not have directly caused. Think about it. Sometimes there are different things required for healing a condition than were required to maintain a person's uninjured status quo. We all get that, right? Most of us, when we catch the occasional cold or sniffle, immediately head for the Vitamin C (or Zinc), some extra fluids, and a nap. We know that Vitamin C, fluids, and extra rest will help us heal more quickly from a cold. It's easy enough to do and we want to feel better fast. Yet low Vitamin C levels, dehydration, and tiredness did not necessarily directly cause the cold. It was some little bug we picked up somewhere. Travell and Simons list the following categories of perpetuating factors common to the efficient healing of persons with trigger point pain patterns: * mechanical stress (such as leg length differences, poor posture, and certain movement patterns that stress muscles), * nutritional inadequacies, * metabolic and endocrine inadequacies that affect muscle metabolism, * psychological factors, * chronic infection, * and other factors such as allergies and impaired sleep. * We might also single out the factor of tobacco use, which they mention but do not emphasize. Many people resist making lifestyle changes. They want healing (which is a change) to occur without leaving the comfort zone of their everyday habits. It's easy to understand why. We've learned to cope with the stresses and strains of everyday living in a particular way. We survive. We get by. Some part of us feels that if we were to change our coping habits, we would cease to survive. In the moment, the prospect of making those changes can be terrifying! Yet change is necessary for healing. Pills don't cause healing. Healthy living does. As a practitioner who works daily with people who desire healing in their lives, it's easy to recognize some of these perpetuating factors. It's also easy to see that making the transformation to healthy living usually goes better for people when they have support. And that's why we're here. To support your healthy lifestyle!

You May Be Working Too Hard

2009-07-15T17:08:07Z

Are you working too hard? I just read two excellent articles by Deepak Chopra about how too much effort can become the enemy of your intended results in life. He makes an excellent point! Granted, some activity is generally required. We all know that you can't just sit in your armchair imagining a lush garden and expect a crop. You've got to get out there and plant some seeds. Yet... There's another side of it. I'm talking about overwork. Overwork, if you really stop to think about it, often comes from the fear of your anticipated results from not doing "enough" (whatever that is...) In other words, a person who overworks to the point of futility and exhaustion is generally doing so out of the fear or perception of lack. Whether it's a perceived lack of money, status, love, or something else, the person who drives him / herself to excessive effort believes, at some deep level, that some catastrophe will surely occur if they stop. That underlying belief is contrary to the stated goal of their effort! Let's say you set an intention to create a fund of money that will keep you secure in retirement. Believing that you are impoverished, you work extra, extra hard to create some extra income. On the one hand, you are putting in extra hours of work. On the other hand, your conflicting scarcity belief effectively "repels" the result you're trying to produce. Your health fails and you spend any extra repairing the damage, or the new car you just got is a lemon, or that great investment tip from your cousin turns out poorly. Or you set an intention to build a wonderful life of luxury for your spouse and kids. Believing that you don't deserve such a fabulous family, you work extra, extra hard to create a lifestyle that they will appreciate. On the one hand, you're working really hard. At the same time, your belief of being unlovable effectively "repels" the affections of those you care about the most. Not only that, but you're spending so much time at work that you miss out on the special occasions that could have helped you bond. By the way, this is an example of the conflicting beliefs we talk about in the little booklet Transform Stress Into Power (available free from the WordCures.com website.) Ok, so let's say you recognize yourself in one of the examples we've just explored. You are a habitual overworker and you're ready to make some changes. Great! Over the next several posts, we'll explore that very thing! The place to start is to learn to observe in the moment those little clues that it's time to take a break, change course, or delegate. A few weeks ago, we took on this very topic in our Wellness Coaching mastermind meeting. Here's a summary of the signals we explored: Top 10 Red Flag Signals That It's Time for a Break! 1. You notice your temper is unusally short 2. Loss of emotional control (weepiness, anger, sadness, etc.) 3. You feel the presence of destructive energy about you 4. Your problem-solving skills begin to disintegrate 5. You are fatigued or exhausted 6. You feel increased physical pain in your body, such as muscle or joint pain or a headache 7. You feel like a victim -- that you are overburdened or being asked to take on too much 8. Guilt -- as though you can "never" do enough 9. Fear of being judged or seen as selfish for wanting to honor your own needs 10. You notice that you're failing to keep the promises you make to yourself Watch for these clues. Take note when they show up in your life. They are signals that it's time to re-evaluate your strategy. Stay tuned to the next several posts, because we're about to explore some ways to make the time you do invest in working much more productive!!!

Circumstances are Circumstances; You are You

2009-07-14T15:24:43Z

You are not your circumstances. You know that, of course. Intellectually. Yet sometimes it's easy to lose track of things in the day-to-day application. It can be disappointing, this thing called life. Here you are with all these hopes and aspirations. You think you know just how things are supposed to work out. Then something happens. And things begin to go a little differently than the way you'd expected. For most of us, when our hopes and expectations don't match the results we see, that fact gets our attention. Sometimes, it can seem like things have gone wrong. Sometimes, it can begin to seem that "you" are the undesired circumstance. Whether it's a health condition, a relationship or financial crisis, or even a bad sweater **, identifying yourself with the problem does not help. It can, however, keep you from moving forward. The simple truth is this. You are not your circumstances. You are you. ** A note on the bad sweater. Just last weekend, while flipping through the channels, I came upon an episode of What Not to Wear just as Stacy London was discussing with her guest the fit of a particular sweater. "You're absolutely right," said Stacy. "The proportion of that sweater isn't right. But it's a sweater. You're reacting to the sweater as though it was you. It's a sweater! Pick a different one." Good one, Stacy! The young lady was indeed reacting to her circumstances as though they were her. Fortunately, she was also receptive enough to hear Stacy's perspective and correct her thinking. She went home in a much more empowered state. You are not your circumstances. What you are is your state. When I first introduced this concept in Landscape With Spirit, I used the analogy of the three states of the substance water: solid, liquid, or gas. Depending on your intended use, any one of the three states could be exactly what you're looking for. None of the states is "good" or "bad." It simply depends on what you want to do with the water. Same with you. In any given moment, you may be prosperous or healthy or courageous. You may embody scarcity or imbalance or fearfulness. Neither is good or bad. If your goal is to win a lawsuit against an aggressor, you will most likely do better given the second group. If your goal is to create an empowered life on your own, you will most likely do better given the first. So what's a person to do? How do you consistently distance yourself from challenging circumstances and create the best "you" possible? Easy. Focus on what you want. Imagine Ice, the solid state of the substance water. If Ice could reason, we might hear the following self-talk conversation: "I'm boiling mad! It's darned cold in here. I didn't sign on for this ice chest. I'm just STEAMED!" Frustration, I hear. How about you? Not too effective either. He is identifying with his circumstances; life in the ice chest. His personal power is blocked by his anger. Imagine that Ice takes a personal development course. He learns to focus on what he wants. "Ahhh," he might say. "Warming, soothing, comforting. I can just feel myself cooling off Jimmy's heated brow. Little Sara will inhale me and breathe easy. I just love my new style!" Can you sense the transformation? Ice's new focus is not so much on the circumstances around him, but on who he his. Where he's headed. What he can do. You are not your circumstances. You are you ... your state. Out of your powerful state comes a powerful life. Choose the state you want to be and claim it. Live large!

Health Awareness and Your Personal Operating System

2009-07-04T16:29:54Z

Your personal computer has an operating system. So do you! It's easy to put a name on your computer's operating system. Perhaps it is called something like "XP" or "Vista." Every now and then, your PC's operating system is due for an upgrade. The manufacturer lets you know, the upgrade takes place, and you adapt. It's not quite so simple to name your the operating system for your healthy lifestyle. But it IS easy to detect when you're ready for an upgrade. You become ill, find yourself in the middle of a health crisis, or your well-being is challenged in some other way (think stress, relationship issues, financial difficulties). Your PC's operating system is based on a particular set of rules. Those rules define the environment in which your information use occurs. Likewise the operating system for your healthy lifestyle. It is based on rules. You learn them, grow beyond their original circumstances, begin to question their value, and replace them with new rules. It is a natural human process. Usually. But sometimes you get stuck. "No, no!" you may think, resisting. "Don't make me change that one!" Ultimately it's up to you. When you resist too long, that's when the challenges pop up. Want to get past a current challenge to your health and well-being? Here's the big secret: Upgrade your personal operating system. It's not too difficult to recognize when you're having a crisis. You feel lousy, the doctor gives you bad news, anxiety keeps you up at night, your bank balance dips precariously, you lose your job, or your spouse walks out. Here's where the challenge starts. Most of us, when faced with a crisis, try to resolve it by changing certain specific behaviors. We may change our diet and exercise program, start taking more vitamins, cut expenses, pick up some extra income moonlighting, or perhaps resolve to become a better listener. While these behavior changes are usually helpful in the moment, it's a mistake to think that they are the whole solution. Much like installing upgraded software on an outdated PC, your behavior change alone is a temporary fix that won't last forever. To get to the bottom of things and effect a long-term solution, it's helpful to explore the beliefs that created your situation in the first place. Typically, they'll be subtle. So subtle that you may not recognize that they exist until you go looking for them. Yet they affect all the choices you make each and every day. Subconscious "rules" These subconsious "rules" created those original behaviors that you are now making an effort to change. They also form the basis of your personal life-force energy system. It is at this level that their effect on your well-being is the most powerful. Imagine for a moment that you have an underlying belief or "rule" that other people are smarter than you are. That their opinions about how you should run your life are more valid than your own. That their activities are more deserving of your time than the activities you'd like to do for yourself. You encounter a health challenge and someone really smart tells you to exercise and eat healthier foods. You agree and prepare to get yourself back on track. And then the inevitable happens. Someone else comes up with a crisis in their life that conflicts with the time you'd set aside for that relaxing / energizing walk, or for food preparation, or for learning to cook. So "just for today," you skip the walk and cruise through the drive-through. Can you see where we're going with this? Until you change the underlying "rule" that tells you their crisis is more valid than your own, you are doomed to fight with yourself on each and every choice! Ultimately, if you're like many of us, you decide that the fight is too hard and go back to your old habits. Now I've used food and exercise as an example, but perhaps that part isn't so hard for you. Maybe your particular challenge is overwork. Excessive spending on items you can't afford. Habitually altering the truth in an attempt to make yourself look good. Procrastinating at work and missing important deadlines. Or any number of other destructive habits. Changing a behavior that conflicts with one of your old "rules" is an uphill climb. It's tiring; perhaps even exhausting. It feels like you are willing yourself to perform an impossible task. In fact, you are. Your new behavior is in violation of the rules of your old operating system. This brings us to the place I have come to think of as the intersection between awareness and health. There are any number of ways to explore your life for hidden "rules," and they all begin with increased personal awareness. Practices such as meditation, transformational breathwork, or regular journaling are great places to start. Ultimately, your increased health awareness is my #1 goal. All of the WordCures.com products are designed to support you in creating a healthier set of "rules" for your personal operating system, beginning with the Word Cures book. If you'd like to move on to the next level, you might want to check out the Intuition Infusion Kit. Ultimately, group Wellness Coaching may be the solution you're looking for. When you play along with this coaching game, we not only take on a cool "real-life" project of your choice, but as you move through it we'll explore together any obstacles that come up. Which is to say, we'll identify and work through those old rules. Actually, it's kind of fun! Wellness Coaching groups begin September 15th, January 15th, and May 15th. It's not too soon to start thinking about your next project!

The Dog Ate Her Checkbook

2009-07-01T21:32:51Z

Mistakes are a normal and natural part of everyday life, don't you think? So why do we think we're supposed to appear perfect? No need to answer. It just seems like a rather odd human habit. So much easier to blame anything that goes wrong on the dog. So here's the thing. What if the dog really did eat your checkbook? I mean, it's possible. Especially if you had one of those snappy little leather covers. And what if he was really looking out for your best interests? * You know, like when the dog lets you know it's time to empty the wastebasket by shredding the kleenexes and paper towels all over the floor. * Or when the dog lets you know it's time to take a break from his arch-nemesis the typing machine by throwing a hysterical barking fit. * Or when the dog alerts you to a lack of fresh air in the house in the dead of winter by standing half-in / half-out of the door for a full 5 minutes. "Deciding" if his biorhythms are properly aligned for a quick trip outside. What if the nice lady's dog was alerting her to the need to re-assess her spending habits? That's what I wondered, upon encountering this "Dog Ate My Checkbook" article. "The dog ate my checkbook," the nice lady told the detectives. So she had no alternative but to use her ex-husband's bank account to pay her bills. Here's where things get a little dicey. It seems that the nice lady drew a faulty conclusion. Sure the dog ate her checkbook. But it's doubtful that her response to the situation was truly set in stone. The conclusion that she had no alternatives was faulty. Chances are this faulty conclusion was not her first, and this just may have had something to do with the marital difficulties she sustained recently. But I digress. Instead of praising dear Fido for his considerate actions like this... "Oh Fido, you're such a good dog! Thanks so much for letting mommy know that the bank account was getting low!" ...she concluded that her ex-husband should foot the bill for her living expenses. Now let's say it was your dog and your irresistably leather-covered checkbook. Fido enjoyed his tasty snack, ironically, on the very day you had planned to pay all the bills. Would you have seen other options? Safe to say you would. Your list might go something like this: * Call the bank and request more checks. * Call the utility company and explain the delay. * Pay your bills with a credit card. * Take cash to the utility company's business office. * Call up your ex-husband and ask him to help you out of this sticky little wicket. * Call up anyone else you can think of and ask them to help you out of this sticky little wicket. * Or ??? Here's where the nice lady missed the mark. Her perspective was off. From her view, she "had no choice" but to pay her bills out of her ex-husband's account. Yet we can see any number of other alternatives. We have objectivity that she does not share. And there's the rub. The "No Choice" excuse (page 79 of the Word Cures book) really means one thing. You think the other choices available to you will place you in an even worse light than the one you latch onto. Unfortunately, however, lack of objectivity makes the "No Choice" choice a really bad one much of the time. In this case, the nice lady is being investigated for identity theft and forgery. A mistake which, if verified, could be quite a bit trickier to get out of than if she had simply gotten a little behind on her bills. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * By the way, if you haven't seen it, we have a really cute "Dog Ate My Homework" mug (thanks to artist Judith Greenwood) available as part of the Word Cures Starter Kit. It's the perfect vessel for your favorite morning beverage!

Got the "How-To Blues?" 5 Tips to Get Unstuck.

2009-06-26T13:55:45Z

So exactly how am I supposed to do that? It's a question we all seem to ask from time to time. You know pretty much what you want. But the route to get there is not at all clear. You feel stuck. Perhaps your quest is for improved health, greater peace of mind, increased prosperity, or enhanced personal relationships. Well, breathe easy. There is certainly a way to direct your energy and intention in a focused way to propel you toward your intended result. Here are 5 solid tips to get you past the dreaded "How-To Blues." 1. Picture your goal as accomplished. Re-run that joyous picture in your mind over and over, day after day. Yeah, you knew that already, but you may not be doing it. Here's the "why." You need to absolutely believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that your intended result is possible. Once you "know" that it can be done, that you really are deserving of the life you desire, then your subconscious mind will get busy figuring out how to make it happen. If you are stuck in the place where you're not sure that what you want is possible, you'll just keep spinning your wheels in that rut instead of moving forward. 2. Run the movie backwards. Once you get a clear picture as your intended result as achieved, then play the mental movie backwards. In other words, place your mind and your intention in the experience of having accomplished exactly what you set out to do. Then go backwards step-by-step to reveal the incremental processes that surely must have occurred in order to get you there. Here's why. When you put your mind in "today's reality" and look forward toward the accomplishment of a big goal, you'll tend to see obstacles. Those obstacles can be discouraging. You might even give up. On the other hand, when you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that your intended result is reachable and go backwards from that reality, you'll see solutions instead. It's much more empowering! 3. Study the situation carefully. You know the saying "the devil is in the details?" You can be doing 80% of the right stuff to reach your intended goal. And that remaining 20% can be the difference between success and failure. Don't make the mistake of thinking that your 80% effort should be enough. Assuming an attitude of "it can be done," examine your situation very, very carefully. Look for small details you may not have noticed before. Then, one tweak at a time, perfect your strategy. Here's a real-life example. Some years ago, I was the instructor for a morning aerobics class at a suburban Detroit gym. Many of the attendees were moms who dropped the kids off for school and then came over for their "me" time. They were a fun group! One day, one of the moms stopped up to see me at the end of the class. "I've been working out for weeks," she said, "and I still haven't lost any weight. I'm starting to get discouraged." I waited as she thought a bit and then continued, "Every day after class, I stop over to the mall for some Mrs. Fields' cookies to reward myself for exercising. Do you think it could be the cookies?" Ha ha! She solved her own problem, didn't she? The devil was in the details. 4. Sleep on it. Sometimes your conscious mind gets bogged down. You already know what you think. You keep running through the same worn-out ideas (that didn't work) over and over. Relax. Now you have a new strategy. Formulate a question, the answer to which will provide exactly the break-through you're looking for. Then do something else for a while. Take a shower, cut the grass, do the dishes, take a nap. Let your subconscious mind take over and "incubate" your best solution. Expect a fresh, perhaps even weird, idea. You might even come up with an idea you'd already rejected. (See how smart you were?) Now try it. 5. Ask an expert. You're not expected to figure out absolutely everything by yourself, of course. Not that you couldn't if you really put your mind to it. But there are times when it just isn't the most practical route to go. Sometimes you need a new viewpoint or some specialized knowledge. No problem. Work through your project to the point where you can clearly see where the missing piece lies. It's kind of like working a jigsaw puzzle. You eliminate a few things, work through as much as you can, and then clearly identify the step you'll need help with. Do the background work yourself so you know exactly what the missing piece looks like. Then here's what you do: * Formulate a specific and clear question. * Figure out who might have the background to answer that question. * Ask. * If the first person you contact doesn't provide the insight you need, find someone else. * Repeat as needed! There you have it. A clear plan for getting yourself unstuck! Wellness Coaching offers a great support structure for getting yourself from where you are now to your intended result. Groups begin September 15, January 15, and May 15. It's not too early to start thinking about your next project!