I’m sure Jack Nicholson was not pleased to be asked to sign a photo of Heath Ledger….

A real ad displayed in a local newspaper after Prime Minster Kevin Rudd was given the boot.

From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, “You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”

So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, “I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.”

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex god he was.

The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?” The Pakistani man replied, “Just try dem on, Sahib.”

Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on.

As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn’t seen in many years – raw sexual power. In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Pakistani man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down the man’s pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Pakistani’s thighs.

The terrified Pakistani then began screaming, “YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!”

“Okay class. Now I’m going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have Monday off.” said the teacher.

“Who is credited with writing the phrase,’To be or not to be, that is the question’?” asked the teacher.

Little Pham Lam Nguyen at the front of the class called out, ‘Shakespeare’.

“Well done!” said the teacher, “You can have Monday off.”

‘No thank you Miss. I am of Vietnamese origin and it is in our culture to study as hard as we can, so I will be here on Monday studying hard.’ said Little Pham Lam Nguyen.

‘Well okay,’ said the teacher.

The next quote is, “I had a dream!”

Little Fri Sum Kat also at the front yelled out “I bereiva it was Martin Ruther King!”

“Well done!” said the teacher. “You can have Monday off”

“No thanka you miss I am of Chinese oligin and we also do not take time offa school. Education is evelything to us, so I will be in on Monday studying hard too.” said little Fri Sum Kat.

‘Okay,’ said the teacher.

Then she heard a voice from the back of the classroom, “F#^*ing Asians!”

“Who said that?” yelled the teacher in an angry tone.

“Pauline Hanson!” yelled little Johnny. “See ya Tuesday!!!!”

Source: Unique Daily.com