Out of all the hundreds of videos Kai has ever done, this one packs the most persuasive punch, especially starting around 3:40 and after:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ykuy4qYip1U

Notice how he begins the video by educating you of the history of this magnificent camera. Notice the piano music in the background. Notice the artistry which sets the tone of the video for “this is truly something special.” Notice how he takes ordinary concepts like a viewfinder and transforms it into something magical. Phrases like: “…your window into other people’s worlds.” “his Leica… was an extension of his eye.” Notice how he keeps comparing it to the “big black bulky DSLR’s” which in the mind of the prospect would be the #1 objection to spending $6,000 to $8,000 on this difficult-to-use camera. He then tackles that objection too, saying the lack of automation in the camera is precisely why he loves it.

“We live in a world of convenience. We live in the iPod age. But yet there’s something so stimulating about creating the music yourself with your hands.” Then it cuts away to hands playing the piano we’ve been listening to this whole time. This isn’t just a camera that lacks automatic controls, no, it’s your partner in creating a piece of art by hand. This is some masterful reframing if I ever saw it. See the video; it’s education in persuasion is worth every minute!

As far as marketing personalities go, I think he beats Frank Kern for many of his pieces, since Frank seems to model Adam Carolla a lot for jokes (even taking a few directly such as “Jenius with a J” without attribution) whereas Kai seems to actually be the goofy dude he is in video (unless he’s modeling some sort of HK radio personality himself I don’t know about, wouldn’t that be ironic, ha!)

As it stands now, Kai is more of a “store celebrity” (that keeps you glued to a store once you enter) and a minor YouTube celebrity that generates subscriptions and store traffic… (until he grows in viewership to compete the many other general cam celebs like Olivia Tech, Philip Bloom, etc.)

Whereas Frank is more of “niche” celebrity or “field” celebrity. In his case, the Internet Marketing niche or IM “fields”, he is probably #1 in many people’s eyes. There’s really no other charming “cult of personality” marketers who make media.

Much like Stephen Hawking is also a niche or field celebrity. He rules science like Frank Kern rules IM.

They’re both near the tops of those cults of personality.

Kai would be like the strangely funny Vince Offer, if only he actually did a video for each product instead of merely edutainment for the store.

Vince is more of a “product celebrity” than Kai from what I’ve seen. You know exactly what product to buy after you see a Vince presentation. He shows you 1 or 2 products doing tens or even hundreds of amazing things.

Many people get a very SPECIFIC urge to buy something after a Vince presentation, whereas Kai gains affinity and moves you a little closer to whatever he’s doing in a more generalized way.

Therefore Kai is more of a “store celebrity” or even more generally “YouTube celebrity”, as you don’t immediately know from his YouTube presence that he’s schilling product. Vince you KNOW he’s schilling product.

Except in situations like the video above, as a viewer of Kai, I still wouldn’t know how each actual product would work (and thus which one to buy.) To get me to make a buying decision, the video has to focus on a specific product from a specific brand.

That’s perhaps a weakness to this approach. He brings people to the store, and sometimes he educates them generally about things like 50mm lenses, but once you’re at the online store you still gotta ultimately figure out what you want from pitiful product descriptions and even more horrible pictures of the gear that, ironically, takes pictures.

No doubt if you dragged your ass all the way to Hong Kong, he may actually be there in the physical store occasionally to be just as entertaining telling you about specific product, as he is online charming you about general photography topics. It’d be nice to see something like he probably does in-store, in Hong Kong that translated online so the world can see.

I think the Kai approach increases the size of the “pie” a little bit (again, with his very general, but not necessarily product specific tutorials on things like 50mm lenses), but when he’s not teaching he mostly uses humor and personality to keep the pie size the same, simply diverting customers from other stores who already have an interest in the products.

The Vince Offer approach increases the size of the pie as he educates you from 0 about a new product you probably never would’ve thought about before.

The only minus to Vince is that he seems Nefarious. His very head telegraphs that he’s up to something bad, and it’s may be bad for you, too. It’s is a little bit strange that someone who looks like a villain from a Disney movie has chosen to take the seemingly elevatory, value adding “create something from nothing” approach Vince has.

Adweek even calls Vince a “Pariah”:
http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/infomercial-pariah-vince-offer-returns-brand-new-spot-137406

Vince’s latest video has been removed from Adweek for copyright violation. You can see an edited version, in small form, at:
https://schticky.com/

… where he talks about women’s pussies, schticking this and that, appearing behind bars, and all kinds of other wacky shit. My recommendation is to find the most uncut version of this commercial on YouTube and the like, because the full 2 minute plus piece is startling.

No doubt someone who appeared to be more innocent and kind would perform even better in Vincent’s position.

It’s likely Kai could take a Vince like position and do well, or even appear in simple edutaining videos for each MAJOR product offering (there’s too many minor products to do on the site) for the store he works for in Hong Kong.

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If you’re wanting to truly influence people and change the world in some meaningful way, I am wholly unconvinced this normal template for almost every single doc I’ve ever seen is really the best.

Here’s the normal doc template in 7 steps, as experienced by Greg:

1. Start out with a few seconds of each of the several talking heads you’re going to feature in more detail later on in the doc. Try to include someone famous and respected so you can put their name on the title credits, even if you disagree with what they’re saying (like Noam Chomsky).

2. Establish the “problem” – clearly stated. Intersperse cuts from some old 1950′s movie or classroom educational piece to hold audiences attention in between talking heads.

3. It didn’t used to be like this. Better times were had before. “So how did we get from there to where we are today?” Cue history part of the show. Include even more 1950′s black and white bits, maybe some stuff from an old horror movie when you want to jokingly refer to something as “scary” etc. Maybe begin some type of half-ass cinematic sequence we can refer back to later to create the illusion we’re telling an interesting “story”

4. Take us on a lackluster romp through history as it pertains to our topic. Do lots of History Channel-like panning over still photos. Ken Burns effect crap. Some archival footage from these older times, if it exists. Forgettable voiceover.

5. Now we’re back up to the present day. Few more talking heads shots. “So what can we do about this?” Now let’s talk about possible SOLUTIONS, or if we’re really biased, we’ll only talk about our one favorite pet solution and make it look as good as possible, never (or seldom) mentioning any negatives.

6. The “Yay we can do it!” part of the show. Cue inspirational, upbeat music. Cue talking heads saying a bunch of crap you’re not really listening to at this point because they could be saying anything and it would sound good when combined with the background music. Show lots of vague shots of people coming together and singing around the campfire type stuff. Maybe some smiling children recovering from disease holding American flags, blah blah blah.

7. “It’s up to you” – call to action. Usually some flavor of “call your congressman” or “go to some website” – FUCKING YAWN, DUDE! WTF!!! That shit NEVER helps anything! Cut to black credits and continue playing happy music. la la dee fucking da

THE END! Woohoo! Win awards at film festivals and pretend like you’re making a difference in the world! Yay!

Except nothing changes. Rinse. Wash. Repeat.

So what’s the alternative?

I’m dreaming up something more revolutionary. I keep thinking of that Pink Floyd movie “The Wall” and wanting to create something like that in a doc, but obviously something that will make SENSE to the average dude. I’m thinking about combining The Wall with what Michael Moore used to do that made him so famous. If it’s done right, that could make some real waves worth talking about.

I think you have to be relentless, uncompromising, unfair, and artsy to the extent you know what people are really thinking and you bring that out in your work graphically to keep their attention – and deal with objections much like a good salesman would do. That way you can be biased with your topic, but still cover the other bases to create the illusion of fairness. Unanswered questions at the end equals less persuasion.

Making your documentary along the 7 steps I described above is just lazy. Where are the new ideas, the innovation, the creativity? There’s a little out there, but not nearly enough.

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1. Blatant Indicators of Positive Reputation Beat Subtle Luxury

Consider a face-off between the Toyota Prius and… a stylish Lexus.

Even Lucifer Himself couldn’t make me drive a dorky Prius.

But a recent split-test between these 2 cars revealed that when shopping in public, people are willing to spend more on a product they don’t really want as long as it makes them look like positive contributors to the greater good of society.

When the whole world’s looking (and can see the “green” eco-conscious logo) people buy the doe-eyed Prius. Then as you lock ‘em up in a room with no one to judge, they turn into me… a shameless consumer of pretentious luxury. The heated steering wheel. The baby seal skin leather seats. Plumes of toxic exhaust from a rumbling engine. Sickeningly delicious cheeseburgers in non-biodegradable containers.

Oh yes. We consumers are a dastardly lot.

And for the same reason, this is why clothes and other products with big, blatant logos sell better than those with more concealed identities:

Louis Vuitton’s classic “LV” on their bags. Abercrombie & Fitch’s garish tags. Polo Ralph Lauren’s pony. Apple’s glowing chrome apple.

People seek out the brands that best display their own particular set of personality traits. Regardless of what “flavor of the month” personality analysis books you may have read (not your fault, publishers barf up more of them than any sane person can handle), all human traits can be summed up as a measure of these 6 characteristics:

• General Intelligence - generally, how smart you are

• Openness - how receptive you are to new people and ideas

• Conscientiousness - your self-control, willpower, reliability, consistency, dependability

• Agreeableness - your level of warmth, kindness, sympathy, empathy, trust, compliance, modesty

• Stability – your ability to maintain control of emotions, deal with stress, ability to adapt

• Extraversion - how talkative, funny, expressive, assertive, socially confident you are

This model has been consistently proven to work over the past 40-some years. Like a delicate radio, all of us are tuned to different settings of the six. Different combinations make the difference between the neighborhood axe murderer and your Aunt Betsy. In all, there are 729 different personality types – which is one of the many reasons you won’t find a ton of experts on this topic.

I’ll write more on this advanced market segmentation in upcoming posts, but for now just understand the prime motivators for most purchases are rooted in a desire to express indicators of specific settings of the “Central Six” characteristics. That’s why there’s a market for so many different brands… we’ve got hundreds of personalities to display.

2. People Will Love & Respect You More If You’re Magical

Traditionally we as marketers are taught to “find out what a market wants and deliver it to them profitably”… but Apple Inc is one good example of a company who behaves differently.

Until Steve Jobs releases the new JesusPhone or whatever, no one has a clue what he’s up to. Mere mortals can only guess. And that’s precisely the allure of his mystique.

Nerds over at UCLA did a test where subjects read 2 equally positive performance reports. Employee A was praised for particular skills like “aptitude with numbers” while employee B just kinda “has a way of making things happen.” In another one, a CEO was praised for “long hours and loyalty” and the other for “insight and vision.”

In both tests, people preferred to work with the guy who’d achieved success via mysterious powers. Not only that, but people also wanted to hug him more and get “lucky” gifts from him.

What this means to you and me is it’s a good thing to not let lesser mortals peek behind your curtain. No one needs to know the wizard isn’t wearing any pants as long as you get the job done and perform with excellence.

Back in high school is when I first discovered the benefits of shrouded secrecy. My ninja skills with computers went purposely unexplained. Once I was called out of an important exam to rescue the principal from digital doom. When asked about the exam, my biology teacher shooed me away saying “Oh nevermind that Greg, you’ll get an A anyway.” Back then I had free reign of the halls and senior year no one even batted an eye if didn’t show up until afternoon.

These days, similar things happen to me because of Pay Per Click (PPC) marketing. It’s amazing what people will do for you if you can work some voodoo on their campaigns that cuts their cost per sale to 25-50% of what it was.

There’s a question traded among marketers with a wink of the eye that goes, “So how many years did it take for you to become an overnight success?”

I love that because it’s so true. You hammer away at a skill for years, seemingly without benefit, and then… one day… the planets align and BOOM you’re a hit.

Another way to say it is “Success is when preparation meets opportunity.” That’s the key thing that makes you look magical to others.

3. Fast Food & Big Tobacco’s Dirty Little Marketing Secret

It’s fairly common knowledge that the larger the plate, the bigger the bowl, or the bulkier the package… people will consume more.

But what you may not know is the mere presence of healthy options on a menu (or the warning sign on a pack of cigarettes) can make people snarf down more junk than ever.

They call it “menu mentality” – the pleasant industry discovery that adding healthier food options to a menu keeps the bureaucrats and medical-types at bay, while satisfying the customer’s guilty conscience, thus… giving them the mental green light to order whatever the hell they want.

One of the most important things in the universe to understand about people is just because they CAN do something doesn’t mean they WILL.

Add salads and grilled chicken to the menu and… like magic… you get more orders for burgers and fries. Label a bag as “low fat”, “low carb”, or “low-cal” and you get more sales. And this is important: You get more sales not because more people buy your stuff, BUT BECAUSE THE SAME PEOPLE BUY MORE OF IT MORE OFTEN!

This, once again, is my favorite subject at work: segmentation. People will do what they will do. Always and without exception.

Take a moment to re-read that again. People will do what they will do. Always and without exception. The implications of that are more profound than you can possibly imagine at first glance.

If we want to influence people positively, we must be draconian and remove all undesirable options from the table. Instead of a choice between “healthy” and “unhealthy” we change the game to “healthy” and… “healthy.”

This is also why school lunch programs will continue to breed fatties until pizza, chips, and soda are gone completely. But that won’t happen. Why? Because people will do what they will do.

Several schools I read about who tried this had parents (and kids) in a literal riot. Picket signs, yelling, screaming, fighting. Desperate parents snuck twinkies to kids through the chain-link metal fence at recess in an act of defiance.

No exaggeration.

You might dismiss this example as ridiculous, but wait:

Parents did this because they’re part of a segment – a segment of society that will find a way to eat crap no matter what you do to stop them.

You can’t change that with mere rules. They will find a way around the rules. You can’t offer alternative options. They will ignore those options. They will have their cream filling and jiggly tummy. And to hell with you and your hard body and steamed vegetables.

I used this food example because it’s something most of us can read with a smile. But the same goes for any segment of a population. There’s a segment of people who drink alcohol (prohibition didn’t work). A segment who smoke (warning labels and PSA’s don’t work). A segment who like marijuana (even though it’s illegal in most countries, anyone who wants it can still get some within a very short period of time).

People will do what they will do. More on that powerful concept another time.

4. Product Placements Only Work When The Plot Depends On The Product

Three things were huge in 1982: video games, the movie ET, and Reese’s Pieces candy.

The latter 2 were no accident. When Steven Spielberg approached the Mars Company (M&M’s) to have their product featured in the film, they turned him away. That’s when Hershey stepped in and offered Reese’s Pieces. Sales of the candy tripled within 7 days of ET’s debut and over 800 theaters all across the country started stocking Reese’s Pieces for the first time.

Or take Tom Cruise. In the early 80′s, sales of Ray-Ban sunglasses were flat and the company struggled to make ends meet. After Risky Business, sales rose 50% and another 40% when Top Gun came out. Sales of aviator jackets surged and Navy recruitment soared 500%!

Product placement is powerful, but like most things, people tend to screw it up when they don’t know what they’re doing.

A more recent example is the James Bond movie, Die Another Day. As far as James Bond movies go, this one is considered by many aficionados (me included) to be the worst of the lot. Part of it was because of the shallow reliance on technology and part of it was because they featured 23 brands inside 123 minutes. Some critics called it “Buy Another Day.”

Casino Royale did infinitely better, but many brands went unnoticed. Why?

Well, as any Bond fan knows, the British MI6 agent is mainly known by these products:

• Walther PPK gun

• Omega watch (formerly Rolex in the old originals)

• Smirnoff Vodka Martini

• Bentley, Aston Martin, and BMW cars

• Clothes designed by Tom Ford (more recently)

• Casino games, especially baccarat

The only reason these became synonymous with Bond is because of their integration into fascinating story plots over the course of many years. When James briefly drives a Ford car rental to get to a hotel or sends a package FedEx, no one gives a shit.

But we remember how tough it was for Bond to give up his Beretta for the new (and better) PPK. We remember the times it saved his life. We remember the vodka martini he orders from Dr. No as it slowly dawns in him the drink might be his last. And we remember the little saw blade and laser Q Branch outfitted in his watch to cut rope or melt metal.

These are meaningful product placements. Mindless cameos will be forgotten.

If you enjoyed our little romp through Marketing Land today, you won’t want to miss upcoming posts on my site… there’s lots more crowd manipulation magic where this came from.

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Investors predicted it would crush golf carts, wipe out global warming, and render cars obsolete in big cities. It was hyped through the roof as some kind of “mystery transportation device” that would “revolutionize how we travel.”

They invested in factories to crank out 480,000 Segways per year to make way for what would surely be an explosive phenomenon.

Personally I too was excited at the time, thinking someone had at long last invented the hover board from one of my favorite movies, Back To The Future 2.

Imagine my complete disappointment when, in 2001, the Segway was released… to the thrill of no one. Consumers took one look at it and yawned. It was nothing more than a $3,000 glorified scooter… and one that made you look like a total dork at that.

Eight years later now in 2009, sales just passed 50,000… TOTAL. It’s target customers are fat mall cops.

(Since then, Dean has moved on, working to invent a water purifier that runs on bull shit… literally.)

I mention this catastrophic failure because it demonstrates in gory detail THE biggest money secret of all time.

…A secret so valuable that once you truly figure it out and put it to work, you will be envied… you will be hated… and men and women from all walks of life may even seek to murder you for it.

What is it? Simple:

Sell something people desperately WANT!

Not “need”… not “might want”… and definitely not “should want”…

…What’s that? Are you over there rolling your eyes at me, thinking “C’mon Greg, that’s obvious! Of course people have to want what you’re selling!”

Well, if that “secret” sounds obvious to you, then that means you’ve never tried to actually USE it to make any serious money.

Because every single success story I’ve ever read (including my own successes I’ve had with certain products) relied more on stumbling into the right combination of market, message, and product than it did on crafting some magical guaranteed potion of desire they thought would sell (or even more dangerous is something you want to sell simply because you love it.)

I’ll say that one word again, because it’s so important: STUMBLING.

Here’s the unvarnished truth you won’t hear from anyone who hasn’t actually fought tooth and nail with their own money in a marketplace trying to sell some widget:

EVERYBODY STUMBLES INTO THEIR SUCCESS.

Yup, it’s true. Everybody. It’s not planned. That’s exactly why:

• Drug companies spend billions on marketing trying to figure out which drugs will be a hit with buyers… BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW. With all the R&D that goes on and with all the years of experience they have in that industry, they still do almost as much guessing as I did back when I was still living with my parents trying to figure out how to make a buck.

• Google, with all it’s BILLIONS of READY CASH locked up in some vault somewhere, still can’t figure out how to make more money with something other than little classified ads. It’s true: literally 95% of their money comes from Adwords, which are nothing more than 120 character classified ads that get displayed when someone uses their search engine. Google has a ton of other projects going on including mapping the globe photographically, scanning in every book in existence, and reinventing Microsoft Office… plus their employees are encouraged to spend 20% of their working time on their own “pet projects” in hopes one of them will become the Next Big Thing. Why? BECAUSE GOOGLE DOESN’T HAVE A CLUE WHAT’S GOING TO MAKE MONEY!

• Untold thousands of marketers online and millions more of the Great Unwashed Masses herd and stumble around every day constantly in search of a gold mine they can leech onto and suck dry before someone else comes along to do the same. They buy $2,000 marketing courses, kits, and software and go to $10,000 seminars in hopes that ONE will contain the magic bean they can plant to grow their own money tree. It’s kinda funny because these products are almost always marketed at business owners who want to make more money from their existing business… yet who do you ACTUALLY see at the meetings and message boards? Desperate nomads in search of a drink of pure water amid the desert of dry bleakness that is their lives. The main person getting rich here is the seller of the course, software, or seminar – for he realizes that selling “make money” products is always a reliable gold mine to tap when you’re out of original ideas… but if he’s really honest with himself, even he stumbled into his success in one way or another.

• Joe Sugarman (whom I’ve met in person – wonderful guy with a wife who could melt butter from across a room), made good money with his electronics catalog company JS&A (in the 70′s, pre-Sharper Image) but didn’t actually become a billionaire until he was forced out of business and tried a new idea of selling sunglasses that block the blue spectrum of light, making it MUCH easier to see in bright sunlight… thus, BluBlockers were born and Joe made a killing on infomercials and later in stores. Oh and get this: Joe didn’t even invent BluBlockers – he stumbled into them by hearing about the concept from some other guy!

• Michael Dell started selling computers out of his college DORM ROOM. It was just something he was doing anyway that happened to blow up and get huge. Nowadays he’s a billionaire because of the #2 X factor below. He had the skills to succeed but still stumbled into his initial opportunity.

You can have the most awesome marketing system in the world, but you won’t sell a damn thing unless you’re offering people something they WANT. Marketing is your jet engine, but a product people want is your fuel.

Not only that, but not all markets are created equal. Your choice to sell one type of product or another will either make you rich or severely limit your income… even if you dominate the industry! For example, there’s a pre-set limit to your income if you decide to manufacture paper towels. Also, the maturity of the industry will determine how much you can make. Sure, diamonds are hugely profitable, but just go and try to compete with the De Beers family. Ha!

As for me, I stumbled into every major success I’ve ever had. Ever! The only difference between me and someone who’s broke are these 2 things:

1. I’ve stepped up to the plate to bat (and struck out) more times than any “normal” human being has the stomach for. Most… no, ALL the people I know would’ve just given up after a couple things didn’t work. Back when I sold insurance door to door, my boss told me that he’s seldom seen someone so impervious to failure as me. I could make 120 sales calls per day to complete strangers and had 4% of them on average let me come over to their house to talk insurance. Unheard of for a newbie. Still, I hated that gig and left after awhile because I didn’t really believe in the product and figured out it was a lot easier to make money with advertising than in-person phone calls and visits.

2. Once I have a hit ad/product combination, I have studied enough marketing and business to fully exploit the success for maximum return on investment. This one is really the “X factor” because even if someone has enough determination to keep punching at the jagged steel of opportunity with a bloody fist until it pays out, it still takes an unreal amount of knowledge and experience to extract maximum money from it before someone else comes along and screws up the whole thing (and they will – it’s not a question of IF but WHEN.)

I said earlier that success is never planned. That isn’t completely true. You can plan to have success with SOMETHING… but you can never plan to have success with a PARTICULAR thing.

Just ask Dean Kamen with the whole Segway disaster. His company of 200 employees owns over 500 patents in the U.S. and worldwide. Five hundred! So from his point of view, who cares if Segway didn’t work out? Even if his success rate is less than half of one percent, he can still get rich and afford to provide incomes to 200 families.

Thomas Edison was the same way. He cranked out thousands of inventions, yet most of us only remember his life for ONE thing: the lightbulb.

Think about that for a minute… your WHOLE LIFE spent sweating, testing, and trying… and in the end you’re remembered for one, maybe two successes if you’re lucky. The rest of your life is only of interest to specialists and nerds… or nerdy specialists.

This is how it works for EVERYBODY throughout all history. No one is immune. Not billionaires… not George Washington… not even fucking Einstein. (Washington lost far more battles than he won, and the only reason we even know about Einstein today is because a prominent physicist at the time just happened to see one of Einstein’s research papers and invited him up to his place out of curiosity to see what this whole “relativity thing” was. Einstein worked hard on his theories, but he stumbled into his fame and success.)

I would be the last person to dump on The Secret, but no matter what New Age Attraction Hippies say, getting rich and building a legacy ain’t easy. And that is the real reason why people will envy you, hate you, and maybe even want to kill you when you discover a gold mine that pays real dividends.

It’s HARD to keep going in the face of failure… and most people are lazy. Tap an oil well gusher and you better have a backhoe ready to dig it out and suck it dry because it won’t be long before the buzzards begin circling your exposed body.

That’s why Napoleon Hill said the major thing you need for success is a “definite major purpose” – because without that you will lack the drive needed to get back up and keep coming at ‘em, bloodied and beaten.

You almost have to want it more than living life itself. “It” means different things to all of us. If you don’t feel a kind of raging drive for what you’re after… if success were guaranteed and you wouldn’t drop everything to run off for it tomorrow with reckless abandon… it’s a sure sign you’re chasing the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.

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“…And remember, please drive home safely. We want you to be our customer for a long time, so we do care about your safety,” she ended suddenly chipper,“Thank you!”

At first blush the recorded fembot’s words would fly over my head, barely noticed among a sea of commercial background noise. But this time, for whatever reason, I paid attention… and could scarcely believe what I’d just heard.

She might as well have said:

“…And remember, get back to work soon. We want to suck as much value out of your pathetic average lifespan of 78 years as possible. That’s our logical justification for your safety. Thank you!”

A month ago, I turned 27 years old… am I really getting this cynical already? Geezus, what would I be like as an old man? Or am I finally waking up to some sort of Matrix-like Truth?

Or maybe… I just think too damn much.

Whatever the case, my sleepwalk was disturbed and what I discovered gnawed on my mind. As a marketer, if I’m trained to keep an eagle eye on these hidden forces that direct our thoughts every day and many still fly right over my head… what must it be like for the average person to whom these messages are aimed?

Damn.

Subtle influences are all around us. In the next couple posts, I’ll share some of the most useful and interesting I’ve discovered during the past few months.

#1. Sacrificial Lamb Offers

This is where a marketer creates one offer solely for the purpose of selling another, which is the REAL offer they wanted to sell in the first place.

Take this example: You want to renew your subscription to The Economist (or in my case maybe Penthouse would be more appropriate.)

They give you 3 options:

- Economist.com subscription – $59.00
- Print-only subscription – $125.00
- Print & web subscription – $125.00

And no, that’s not a typo… those last two really are the same price. That’s the whole point.

The presentation above was split-tested with this one:

- Economist.com subscription – $59.00
- Print & web subscription – $125.00

Makes more sense doesn’t it? Logically, yes. But if your goal is to make money and bring in more subscriptions, it’s a failure.

Here’s what happened on a test of 100 smart MIT students when presented with offer #1:

- Economist.com subscription – $59.00 – 16 subscriptions
- Print-only subscription – $125.00 – 0 subscriptions
- Print & web subscription – $125.00 – 84 subscriptions

Total money made: $11,444

On offer #2:

- Economist.com subscription – $59.00 – 68 subscriptions
- Print & web subscription – $125.00 – 32 subscriptions

Total money made: $8,012

A huge increase in profitability just by throwing in a “sacrificial lamb” that nobody wanted.

More tests were done with women rating mens attractiveness. I’ll spare you the gory details but the end result was women were FAR more likely to choose a man who was the “better” version of someone who looked a lot like him, while often ignoring the great looking guy who was completely different.

The basis here is the brain is a big comparison machine… and it’ll take an easy choice over a hard one any day. Comparing 2 things that are similar is easy. Throwing in a rogue 3rd complicates things so the mind prefers to ignore or discount it.

So if you’re a real estate agent and need to sell a particuar house, find another just like it (but worse) and a 3rd house that’s wildly different. Show all 3 to the buyer on the same day. To avoid springs and sprockets flying out of their head, they’ll want to ignore the “different” house and focus on the 2 similar ones. Since the one you want to sell is the best, they’ll have to fight off some powerful mental forces to abandon it. The day is yours!

The same principle is what causes people to drive all the way across town to save a few bucks on gas, but think nothing of shelling out an extra $3,000 for heated seats in a car. The cost is all relative to it’s immediate comparison.

#2. Anchors

Stuff is only worth what we think it’s worth. So when introducing something new to a group of people (or a marketplace) the best way to establish its value is to present it alongside other similar things that already have a perceived value in the mind of your audience.

That’s what Jean-Claude Brouillet did with Tahitian black pearls:

To me they look like polished musket balls. Ugly. I’d grimace a bit if my girl wore ‘em. But the New York elite cared a lot when Brouillet displayed them in a Saks Fifth Avenue alongside diamonds, rubies, and emeralds.

The valued gemstones provided a basis of comparison (an anchor) and made the crazy price tag on the black pearl add to the high end mystique. Everybody “had” to have them.

People anchor themselves to existing price tags. This is also how you get markets to grossly overpay for a bottle of wine, coffee, clothes, or break out of a long-established price mold for a commodity.

Starbucks did precisely this when they were first starting out. Instead of “small, medium, large” they offered “short, tall, grande, and venti”…instead of “black or with cream” they had Caffe Americano, Caffe Misto, Macchiato, and Frappuccino. You can’t easily compare it to Dunkin Donuts.

And I’m addicted to Ralph Lauren clothes due in part to their use of anchors:

Ralph Lauren’s masculine yachting idealism

If she asked me to murder for her undying love, I’d be tempted to consider it

And finally…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV_ixqCTnQ4

The ultimate idealization of wealthy youthful elitism, adventure, and sense of belonging – the girl at 15 seconds makes me melt and the guy at 50 seconds cracks me up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip5_hl4kAAY

Some more world-class anchoring for youthful fun and adventure

Traditional economic theory says we eat Big Macs, smoke, take vacations, listen to music, marry, have kids, vote, etc according to our likes and dislikes.

But traditional economic theory is bullshit.

Mostly we make buying decisions based on 2 things:

1. How much pleasure it gives us privately, and…
2. How it makes us look to others based on how we want to be perceived.

That’s really it. We establish our identity and then set out to discover the brands and products that best display it. Or if we have no identity, we look for a basis for one in the realm of stuff out there that already exists.

#3. The Explosive Power of the Lowly Penny

Consider two bowls of chocolate – one of truffles and one of Hershey’s Kisses.

We offer the truffles to passersby for 15 cents and the kisses for 1 cent. Each customer can only choose ONE. The truffle is obviously much higher quality and the price isn’t too much higher when compared with the kiss so 73% take the truffle and 27% take the kiss.

The same is true for whenever we charge 2 cents for the kiss and 16 cents for the truffle, keeping the margin of difference even.

Now we lower the price of each by 1 penny.

We offer the truffles for 14 cents and the kisses for 0 cents – free. Now 69% take the kiss and only 31% go for the truffle.

Traditional economic theory (again, bullshit) says that since the price difference stays the same, then the consumer will evaluate the decision the same. But this simply isn’t true.

Amazon.com discovered this when they started offering free shipping if you spent a certain amount of money. Buy more than you planned and save $4 bucks. Sales went up across the board… except France, where the French division was charging 1 franc for shipping instead of “free.” They wiped out the charge and sales boosted in proportion to the other countries.

Same goes for museums. On free entrance day, the place is packed. Charge a few bucks and the crowd thins out by 90%

So what’s really going on here? Why would someone take the “free” offer for something they don’t really want as much over a lower price on something they actually DO want?

Ah, welcome to one of my favorite subjects in the whole world… segmentation. Come inside, make yourself comfortable, and let’s chat for awhile.

Money is a way of demonstrating commitment. When you purchase something for real dollars that you got through selling your time at a job or providing value through a business, you’ve performed an action that separates you from millions of people on this planet… even if it’s something as small as buying a Hershey’s Kiss for a penny.

When I offer you the truffle for money and the kiss for money, you’re likely to choose the one that you prefer… hell, you’ll have to spend the money to get something anyway, so why not snatch the bargain on the expensive truffle?

But something magical happens when the Kiss is free. Now all commitment is released and it becomes a decision of “give up something” or “give up nothing.” The people who weren’t really serious about the chocolate will take the kiss, and the people who truly love their chocolate will still buy the truffle.

And if you’re the marketer of truffles, it is that smaller 31% (who are still willing to shell out money and spit in the face of “free”) from where your biggest profits will ultimately come.

Hark unto me: That lowly cent, almost flee-like with insignificance, acts as a giant knife hurling out of the sky – slicing the butter of society into 2 groups:

- the people who will DO, and…
- the people who will NOT do

That’s all it takes… a $1 trial or a simple penny to prove a customer’s commitment and therefore ongoing highest profitability. To separate the players from the wannabes. To divide the buyers from the non-buyers. To glimpse inside the minds of a mass of people.

I’ll talk more about this concept in future posts because with the right segmentation – one can conquer any world he wishes.

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I’m not sure who originally wrote it or where I even got it – but whoever it was really knew what they were talking about.

So here it is for you in full glory, 50 Things Your Customers Want You To Know – plus some of my own comments scattered around here and there.

Try to look and see what areas you’re failing at with your own customers. Chances are, if you just tweaked what you’re doing a little differently, you’d reduce refunds, sleep more comfortably at night and make a whole hell of a lot more money.

#1. I don’t need you to be perfect, but I do need to know I can rely on you.

Greg’s Aside: In fact, my experience has been that you get BETTER responses from customers when you openly admit flaws and confess shortcomings. The more “real” you become to them, the more tolerant they’ll be and the more likely they’ll buy again from you in the future. An important part of marketing is managing expectations. If your service is shit but your product delivers as promised, you won’t get any complaints if everybody understands the deal up front.

#2. Telling me what you don’t know makes me trust you.

Aside: People get suspicious of the man who has all the answers. They’ll think you’re hiding something and unless you’re God Himself, they’re probably right. It’s a lot better to explain what you’re NOT the best at, and then turn it around with a statement like “…but as long as that doesn’t apply to you, I can help with X…” Then they’ll be far more likely to go for it.

#3. It means a lot when you take the time to thank me for my business or a referral.

Aside: Don’t be an ass and skimp on this. Make a real phone call. Send a real honest-to-God thank you note, handwritten on physical paper. Do NOT Hallmark this. You’ll be shocked silly when you see the response.

#4. You don’t need to do all that much to be a superhero. Just do exactly what you say you will do.

Aside: If you ask me, it’s the number one rule in life: Always do what you say. If you can’t do it or don’t think you’ll be able to make it happen, don’t say it. Simple as that. Word will spread quicker than wildfire you’re a man of his word, and even your enemies won’t be able to deny it.

#5. A friendly voice on the other side of the phone means more than you can imagine.

Aside: I’ve had customers call me before, literally in tears. I’ve also had customers beaming with happiness and angrier than Satan on cocaine. It’s all in how you handle it. So what would YOU do? Never let anything bother you, no matter what kind of crazy bat-shit babble spews from their mouths. Always remain calm, cool, and never patronize them by saying stupid things like “I understand how you feel.” No you don’t – they’ll see right through it and just get even more pissed. Instead, just an “All right – what would you like to know?” or “Ok, what can I do to help?” is enough to get the ball rolling to your side. Then remember some personal detail about them and recall it later in the conversation. This lets them know you’re REALLY listening. Position yourself as an ally, not “customer service.”

#6. Your employees treat me about as well as you treat them.

#7. I don’t mind spending the money, as long as I feel I’m getting real value.

Aside: Keyword there is “feel” – because the concept of “real value” is different for everybody. People buy your stuff for their own reasons, which are often very different from the reasons YOU think they should buy. In the information products business, sometimes people buy your books, CDs, DVDs, etc. NOT for the info, but just to feel a closer kinship with a guru they admire and respect.

#8. My life is really stressful. If you can reduce that stress, you become immensely valuable to me.

#9. I want to tell you what would make this relationship better for me. Why don’t you ever ask?

Aside: Some people screw this one up by having a “Suggestion Box” (or the digital equivalent) or asking their mailing list open-ended questions like “What can I do to serve you better?” That’s too vague. If you want quality information from people you have to pump it out of them. You do this by being specific. Instead, ask: “You know that thing you ordered from me last week? How did that work out? I hope it got there in time.” or “Were you able to download the package ok? If there were any problems let me know so I can fix it ASAP.”

#10. I don’t understand a lot of the messages you send me. Can you make them clearer?

Aside: There’s one guy I know who literally sends me entire e-mails in the subject line only. Since space is short, so is the message. 9 times out of 10, he comes off as a caveman. I’ve lost all respect for this individual because he can’t communicate worth a damn. Another time someone wanted me to critique a sales letter that began with the headline “Surprise. This should be you. Learn how you can receive 3 big gifts. This letter contains an even bigger prize to benefit you.” – I held this paper in my hands and thought, “What in the hell are these people talking about?” Plus it didn’t help that the entire piece looked like a chain letter. The point is this: If you can’t communicate effectively and don’t want to take the time to learn, then hire somebody who can.

#11. My life is very complicated. If you make it easy for me to just buy a simple all-in-one package I can use without learning anything, I’ll take it and be grateful. I’ll even pay a premium for it.

Aside: Yup, people are lazy. Like it or not, that’s the world we live in. You can complain about it, OR you can use it to your advantage. Throw your best stuff into one huge mega pack and slap a HUGE price tag on it. A certain percentage of your customers will always take it. Always. It’s free money you didn’t have to strain your brain too hard to get and they’ll love you for it.

#12. I want to trust you, but it’s hard for me to trust anyone.

Aside: That’s why it’s SOOO important you internalize a concept I like to call “scary realism.” Basically, do everything you can in your communication to customers that makes you as real of a flesh-and-blood human being as possible. This will turn some people off, but those are the people who wouldn’t have spent much money with you anyway. The people it attracts, however, will spend more and (if you do it right) will become fanatical about doing business only with you, even if some schmuck opens up a shop next door (or next to your search engine placement.) The more “real” you are, the more that trust barrier lowers.

#13. Once you’ve won my trust and loyalty, the truth is you can screw up once in awhile and I will forgive you. That is, IF I don’t think you’re taking me for granted.

#14. When I refer my friends and you give them exceptional service, that makes me look and feel smart. I love that.

Aside: “What other people think” matters hugely to 99% of the population, regardless of the trend in most young people today to say “I don’t care what people think; I’m my own person.” It’s bullshit. They’re not their own person, they’re tied into society just like everyone else. So treat their friends exceptionally well, especially on their first purchase. It’s not just one sale you’re fighting for, but dozens more in the future.

#15. I spend an awful lot of time being scared to death.

Aside: Personally I blame the U.S. media for this. I think everyone would be a lot better off in life if they never, ever, ever, ever, never, never, never, EVER watched any sort of news program ever again. Most of it is negative garbage specifically designed to evoke a base emotional reaction out of an otherwise confused populace of herded sheep. Why? Because emotions sell. Not just stuff, but ideas. And to the news, the idea of fear is their primary product. Anyway, love it or hate it, this is reality in modern-day America. Your customers are frightened little lambs, stumbling around in the dark looking for a socket in which to plug in their dangling umbilical cord. If you don’t get ‘em, somebody else will. So it might as well be you. Lead them. Guide them. Be their deity.

#16. The wealthier I get, the more I like free stuff.

Aside: Dan Kennedy tells the story of spending a day with Lee Iacocca, the famous man who rescued the American auto industry from Japanese control. It was lunchtime and they went out for pizza. Iacocca had in his wallet, 2 wrinkled up coupons he’d been saving for just such an occasion. Coupons. Mega-millionaire. Coupons. Reinvents the auto industry. Coupons! Save $3 on a deep dish pizza. The moral is: You are never too rich for a discount.

#17. A lot of the time, I secretly feel like a lost little kid. I don’t admit it, but I want to be taken care of.

Aside: See#15 above.

#18. I’m lousy at admitting I was wrong, but I respect you when you do it.

Aside: ALWAYS admit your screwups. This goes over with customers big time. Companies who do this on a regular basis make more money and have higher stock prices than those who try to cover things up. Statistics prove it, common sense proves it. So just do it.

#19. I like to get little goodies no one else is getting.

#20. I don’t understand how to use your website, but I can’t admit that because it would make me feel dumb.

Aside: There’s that word again. “Feel.” It’s astounds me that after a decade of computers entering the mainstream, we still have millions of people enter the domain name they want into Google instead of using the address bar. It astounds me that blue underlined links (a relic from 1995) still continue to produce more clicks than any other type of link. And I’m flabbergasted by the fact that even though one of my websites has bolded red underlined text telling them what to do right next to the payment button, there’s still people who call me up wondering how to buy. Even so, this is reality. We have to accept it or get out of business altogether. Read some books on website usability or hire someone who knows what they’re doing. Your website needs to be lame-brain simple.

#21. There’s no worse feeling than feeling I was suckered into trusting you. If I’m screaming at you or one of your employees, that feeling is probably behind it somewhere.

#22. Our relationship isn’t equal and it never will be.

Aside: I’d add that it never should be anyway. You’re the guru, the leader, the almighty one. Not them. They are the apostles at your feet, lapping up your guidance. You’ve got to show you’re a real human being on their side of the table, yes… but it’s still your table.

#23. I get crazy jealous if I think you love another customer more than you love me.

#24. I don’t have any interest in your excuses. In fact, I usually don’t notice them at all, and if I do, they annoy me.

Aside: There’s a difference between admitting flaws in your character and making excuses for poor performance. Character flaws are part of your sales message, while making excuses is a pathetic attempt to explain why you failed to perform.

#25. I find myself endlessly fascinating.

Aside: Which is why your sales message should be primarily about the PROSPECT and not you. When writing a pitch, you dance a fine line between talking about yourself (for credibility and believability purposes) and talking about what you’ll do for the prospect. Anytime you talk about yourself, it has to be in direct relation to the prospect. Shake him to the core and make the benefits so real, he can feel them in his mind.

#26. I hate salespeople but I really like to buy things.

Aside: What people really hate is being pushed into making a decision they didn’t feel was really theirs. They don’t “own” it. Skilled salespeople know this and act accordingly – but I meet dumb ones all the time (especially at places like Furniture Factory Outlet) who hover over you like a vulture, swooping down with lies and shady closing tactics. You can “sell” people but they’ve got to feel like they’ve made up their own mind.

#27. I only like to communicate over the phone/web/mail and I hate when you try to make me communicate with you over the phone/mail/web.

Aside: What this one is really saying is, people buy the way they buy. You can’t treat all communication channels the same. If they bought your product by reading a long-form sales letter, then they’re going to be a different customer than one who bought via talking with you over the phone. Same’s true for physical stores. The mail. Whatever. How a particular person buys is how they buy and you can’t change it. The best thing to do is segment your customer list based on what medium they purchased through and then only market to them again via that particular method. Phone buyers get called. Mail buyers get mailed. Web buyers get sent to a sales page on your website.

#28. I want to buy your product, but I need you to help me justify it to myself.

Aside: People have all sorts of strange little guilt complexes that hold them back from getting what they really want. Maybe a woman sees a new pair of shoes at Macy’s, but stops short of buying because she’s low on cash this month. Then she gets a coupon in the mail for $20 off any pair of shoes. Suddenly she can now justify the purchase, even though she’s only saving $20 on a $150 pair of shoes. She still hurts for cash, but now it “makes sense.” The fact is, she wanted the shoes and if you didn’t get the sale, then someone else would have. People will do what they want based on whoever makes it easiest for them to justify doing it.

#29. There’s something in my life I’m afraid of losing. If you can make me feel like you’ve protected it for me, my gratitude will be intense and eternal.

#30. I’ll give you anything you ask if you can help me not feel silly.

Aside: Feel, feel, feel. See the trend here?

#31. I want you to do the hard work for me. Even better if I can get all the credit.

Aside: John Carlton has a great quote about writing. He says “People don’t want to learn how to write better. What they really want is to have already written something, and bask in the glow of that.” It’s the same old story; people want all the glory with none of the blood. You can scoff at that from your Ivory Tower or you can cash in off it and go live on the beach somewhere while they stew in the juices from their fake little world. Your choice.

#32. I’d rather do it the convoluted hard way than learn something new.

#33. I’d love to know something about your product that I could use to brag at a dinner party.

Aside: One of my Rolexes is the same model worn by Sean Connery in the first James Bond movie, Dr. No. How do I know that? An even more important question is: Why do I know that?

#34. I have the attention span of a goldfish. Go too long without contacting me and I’ll simply forget you exist.

#35. Money is no object when it comes to my obsessions.

Aside: Everybody has something they spend money on irrationally. For me it’s designer clothes, leather-bound books, foreign women, and marketing information. For my friend Jason it’s DVD sets and books on physics and math. My mom buys dozens of huge thick health books she’ll never read in a million years. Everybody’s got something, and to them, the money is no object.

#36. What you think you’re good at is not what you’re good at. Ask me, and I’ll tell you what you do better than anyone else.

#37. I like it when I feel like you’re talking just to me.

#38. It infuriates me when you answer the phone while I’m talking with you face-to-face.

Aside: NEVER do this. Have respect for the people who exist around you physically. After all, there is SOME reason why you’re in the same room with them at this moment, isn’t there? Personally, I don’t even own a cell phone. Got rid of it long ago. Believe it or not, the world used to get along just fine without them 15 years ago. Calm down and take a deep breath. Whatever they’re calling you about, it can wait.

#39. Embarrassment scares me more than death.

Aside: It’s no exaggeration. Don’t underestimate the power contained in these few words. Just because we’re not in grade school anymore doesn’t mean those primal fears somehow disappeared.

#40. I’m lazier than I would ever admit.

Aside: Well, I’m admitting it right here and now. I have a lazy streak just like everyone else. The trick is to find ways to motivate yourself and others to action. For some people this is as simple as a deadline. For other’s you need to paint a mural of pain inside their mind so vivid and real it makes them get off their jiggly butt and DO something about it. When faced with a realistic enough train, most people will get off the tracks.

#41. I’m more selfish than I would ever admit.

#42. I’m more vain than I would ever admit.

Aside: People want what they want, and they also want to look good while getting it. It helps to show them how getting your thing-a-majig will make them look good to the crowd.

#43. I’m more insecure than I would ever admit.

Aside: I’ve met beautiful women who thought they were ugly because of something VERY minor.  I’ve seen black women the size of a tugboat who thought they were God’s gift to men. People are amazing.

#44. Despite all that, I secretly think I’m a better person than most people. Help me believe that and we’ll be fast friends.

Aside: One of the things people fear most is looking bad in the eyes of others. Some people will stop at nothing to make sure they’re perceived as “a good person.” I personally believe this is how many college age women fall into the predictable pattern of liberal ideals. It’s not because they’ve studied all the viewpoints and settled on what they believe best. Nooo. They’ve picked the one that makes them look good. Because on the surface of it all, “redistribution of wealth” and “tax the evil rich” sound like the humanitarian thing to do, somewhat akin to adopting a puppy from the pound, except without all the “work” of actually doing anything.

#45. I believe I deserve much more than I’m getting.

#46. I want to tell you everything you need to know in order to sell to me, but I’m lazy. Make it easy enough and I will. (Especially if you flatter me a little.)

#47. I don’t know what I want most of the time. You need to figure it out for me.

Aside: When I’m describing payment methods to a customer over the phone, I can actually FEEL their mind slipping away. BUT… if I just tell them the ONE payment method I think they should use, they’re eager to pay up.

#48. I mostly daydream about making life better for myself, but I’ll take action to keep from losing what’s mine.

Aside: If you learn nothing from all this, heed these words: Fear of loss is millions of times more powerful than promise of gain. Repeat it in your sleep. Over and over.

#49. I believe that most of what’s wrong in my life is someone else’s fault. Let me keep that cozy illusion and I’ll believe anything you say.

Aside: And it’s just that, an illusion. Dan Kennedy has an old quote that goes something like, “Take a look at where you are right now in life. Because where ever you are right now, that’s EXACTLY where you want to be.” At first I didn’t believe this. I thought it was illogical and impossible. “Of course I’m not where I wanna be, why do you think I have goals?” But actually, what Dan said rang true when I realized the only difference between me and someone living what I supposedly “wanted” was… they were actually DOING something about it, and I was not. I was sitting around playing computer games and drinking wine instead of researching and developing my next new product that would bring in some dough. I didn’t want to admit this, but it was true.

#50. It really is all about me.

Yup, and there you have it. Really shines a new light on the human condition, huh? This is reality and this is the primary reason why the world moves forward at a snail’s pace. It’s up to us business men and women to grab the reins and drive society into the future. We are the movers of money, the creators of value, and drivers of destiny.

Without us, the world has no hope.

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I run across books like this all the time. Most of them are too wordy or take too long to cut to the heart of the matter.

Authors (especially mainstream authors who depend on large volume sales via Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Borders, airports, etc.) usually fluff up their content by a couple hundred pages for 2 reasons:

1. To make themselves look smarter, more authoritative.

and…

2. Because most people (a.k.a. the mindless mainstream) don’t like to pay $30, $17, or even $12 for a 15 page book.

Hand the mainstream buyer a few power-packed pages loaded down with money-making meat they can fire up immediately and most will balk at the price. Nevermind whether those 15 pages are worth 200 times what you’re asking or not. They’d ship it back and pound their fists for a refund at once. Truth be damned.

Why?

Because in the hands of a loser, the Keys to the Kingdom are
just another set of keys collecting dust on a rusty ring.

One book I read recently did an unusually good job at keeping things pithy. It was a book on persuasion and any one of it’s lessons could net you some serious dough, and possibly even change your life forever.

(Aside: Hmm… there’s that oft-worn phrase “change your life” – we hear it so much these days it’s nearly lost all meaning. And when we do associate it, it’s usually with a positive thing like making more money or finding a lover. But what if I came over to your house right now where you’re sitting at your computer and chopped off your left foot? Would that “change your life” forever? Exactly. And what about the words that motivated me to do such a thing? Don’t underestimate the power of the persuasive word or the small change. People are irrational, yes. But predictably so.)

So here are…

46 Pithy Persuasion Tricks
(use them ethically, and… at your own risk!)

#1. Hint at social proof

When most marketers think of “social proof”, testimonials come to mind. But testimonials aren’t the whole picture. Smart copywriters hint at social proof in clever ways that slip by the customer’s skeptical mental radar.

In the past, infomericals used to famously say “Call now! Operators are standing by.” But what kind of image does that conjure up in your mind? To me, it’s a bunch of women in a big room with their hair up in a bun, twiddling their thumbs and filing their nails, waiting, just WAITING for that first phone to ring.

Hmm, not too many people must want the product, eh?

That’s why smart infomercials changed the line to: “If operators are busy, please call again.”

One small change. Lots more orders.

Or take McDonalds. When I was little, the sign used to say “XXX Billion Served” and you could clearly see the numbers on the sign weren’t printed on, they were replaceable squares, which indicated they were updated recently and were going to be updated again. Nowadays, the numbers are gone and the sign just says “Billions And Billions Served” – I guess because the number got so high they couldn’t fit it on there anymore.

Social proof in action.

The general thinking in the customer’s mind is “Well, if it’s good enough for all of them, there must be a reason. It should be good enough for me too.”

This is especially true in the case of testimonials, which ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS need to be delivered from the point of view of the customer AS SIMILAR AS POSSIBLE to the target prospect. That includes language, dress, gender, occupation, and physical appearance. I like to go one step further and include and audio or video of the testimonial just so everyone knows the guy/girl is REAL and that I didn’t just make the whole thing up.

And that’s another thing; the best testimonials are nearly impossible to make up because the real customers tend to say things you either can’t say, won’t say, or would never dream of saying in a million years. Little personal details that are so weird and specific, there’s no way a “professional business” would ever make them up.

Some people make the mistake of having their “best looking” or “most professional sounding” testimonial do most of the heavy lifting in a campaign. No. Wrong guidelines. The RIGHT guideline is to match up the testimonial with who you’re presenting to at that particular time. And if that’s a fat, bald, loser – then make sure your testimonial shows a picture of a fat bald loser who is now experiencing the benefits of what you did for him.

#2. Don’t try to get people to change behavior by emphasizing how many people DON’T do the desired action; instead, focus on the people who DO.

For example, you want to stop people from littering so in your anti-litter ads you make a big deal out of how many people litter or how many tons of litter are collected every day/week/month/year, thus burdening the world.

Ah, so you wanna guilt them into behaving themselves, right? Well, your approach is dead wrong.

The approach is a mistake because it gives people the subtle indication that “everybody litters” therefore “littering must be ok” because its socially acceptable.

To change their behavior, the ads should focus on how many people DON’T litter (which is the desired action in this case) and COMPLETELY IGNORE statistics to the contrary. Don’t add social proof fuel to the enemy’s fire.

Think of it this way: if I published a newsletter online, would it make any sense to say “70% of everyone who sees this website does NOT subscribe to my newsletter. This causes me a lot of pain and anguish. I spend sleepless nights questioning my manhood because of you. Please subscribe.” ???

Yet that’s very similar to what you’re doing with the litter ad.

The solution: I should instead focus on that 30% who DO subscribe to my newsletter. Quote it in the form of a number of subscribers per day or week and let the lookie-loos know about it.

And to pile on even more pressure, demonstrate social DISAPPROVAL for the actions you don’t want them to take and/or straight-up tell them the penalty for it being illegal (if that fact applies, of course – littering is illegal, however my efforts in lobbying Congress to socially mandate my newsletter remain unsuccessful)

Another example, take smoking. Almost the entire 20th century branded smoking as the “cool” thing to do. Not only was it socially acceptable, but it was the stuff of legends. Who didn’t want to be like Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall? They lit one up every few minutes onscreen.

But toward the end of the 20th century, anti-smoking people started taking a different approach. Slowly, it wasn’t cool anymore. And nowadays, you’ve even got popular magazines like GQ reminding us men that, despite what we may see on Mad Men, smoking conjures up images of your grizzled old friendless loser of a virgin uncle, life hanging by a thread.

Wanna be like uncle Charlie, kids? Didn’t think so.

On personals ads nowadays, smoking is a turnoff for many young American women. The tides have changed. Never underestimate the power of “what’s cool” or even “what’s acceptable” – those who control what “normal” is control everything.

#3. People like to gravitate to the statistical middle

When it comes to social behavior, people with “less than average” performance will gravitate upward toward the average (but only IF you tell them what “average” means) and people “above average” will gravitate downward – both toward the statistical middle.

That’s fine for the people who started behaving themselves, but… what about the ones who got worse?

To prevent the backfire from people who were already behaving the way you wanted, you must reward them with a symbol of approval and “punish” those who behaved to the contrary.

Reward and punish them with WHAT, you might ask?

Well, in a test, a simple yellow smiley face for “good” people, and a little frownie for “bad” people was enough to keep the good people in line and cause the bad people to shape up a little.

Focus on how many people do the desired action, add emphasis of social disapproval to those who don’t, throw in a little reward and punishment and BINGO… Persuasion Cocktail.

4. Too many options result in no decision at all.

Reduce choices and you will see an increase in sales/actions/whatever. In my own marketing, my personal preference is no more than 3 choices per offer (a “good/better/best”), ideally 2 (normal/deluxe), and sometimes only 1 (take it or leave it.)

Going against this approach may work for Baskin Robbins’ 30-whatever flavors, but not every business has the luxury of customers who love to sample their products by tasting them.

Even still, you should know that out of all the hundreds of flavors of ice cream out there, vanilla is #1 and chocolate is #2 in terms of sales.

So maybe the A/B option isn’t such a bad idea after all.

5. When you give something away for free, always attach a value to it or else people will devalue the free gift in their minds.

A lot of companies like to give away a premium (or “freemium” if ya wanna get all buzz-wordy on me) to people who respond to their ad. It’s a great idea. But they’re selling themselves short unless they put a value on the “free” gift.

Why? Because a lot of people are inclined to think “If they’re giving it away for free, it must not be much good, or if it is good, maybe there’s something wrong with it. Is it damaged or something?”

Place a dollar value on the free gift and let people know about it. As in, “We normally sell this pen in our stores for $70, but if you come in today and buy our new Omega Seamaster watch, we’ll give it to you free as a gift to say thank you for being our customer in these uncertain times.”

…or some such copy to that effect.

(as an aside: I usually laugh to myself when I hear the words “these uncertain times” – a private joke to anyone who has studied economics and history – every generation thinks theirs is somehow “unique” and so even people back in the 30′s, 40′s, 50′s, the 1800′s, the 1700′s and any other time you can think of, always said their time was “uncertain” HA! As if that’s something new. When do we really live in “certain” times? Never. Same goes for people who say “today’s attention deficit hyper competitive environment” – guess what? They said the same exact shit back in the 1800′s, using only slightly different words. Nothing has changed.)

Even if the “gift” is your time, be sure to point out how valuable you know it was to the person receiving its benefit. They’ll get the picture.

6. When offering choices, best to show your most expensive stuff first

…because it can make your “middle” option (the one you REALLY want them to buy) seem more reasonable by comparison.

I know of a guy who sold Yachts like this:

First he showed them the top-of-the-line, ultra-expensive cruiser. Wow, impressive. The customer also noticed the impressive price tag in the process.

What’s that you say sir? Too pricey? Yeah, maybe you’re right. Well, how about this one…

Then he shows Mr. Customer the cheapest, tiniest, most shoddy clap trap of a Yacht he had at the dock.

“Damn… is that all you got at that price?” asks Mr. Customer.

“Well, at THAT price… but if you’re willing to go a little higher…”

Now all Slick Sam has to do is show the middle model (which looks fan-freakin-tastic compared to the other 2 options he’s seen) and the sale is won without any resistance at all.

Bonus Moral: It’s always good to have “Good, Better, Best” options when selling physical products.

7. People will block out fear/disaster based messages as “not pertaining to them”…

…UNLESS the message is delivered with an exact plan of action to take to remedy the situation.

Fear is a highly motivating tool of persuasion… but if you educate people why they should be afraid and then leave ‘em hangin’, they’ll dismiss most of your argument out of hand.

Instead, always have an exact plan of action mapped out for them to follow. THEN they’ll do it. For sales, this means an exact step-by-step easy way to order. (Your product IS the remedy to their fears, no?)

And for things like business proposals and even getting that lucky girl to date you, having a complete plan mapped out will increase the odds of them taking you up on the deal (just don’t play the fear card with the girl; they tend to frown on such things.)

8. Reciprocation – If you do something for somebody else, they will feel an obligation to do something for you.

For a lot of people in my business, this means giving away free content (videos, PDF’s, audios) to your prospect list over a series of days and then later asking them to do something for you (usually buying your Next Big Thing)

But it doesn’t have to be that involved.

You can use this same principle to get better customer service over the phone (or any number of things.) Simply tell the customer service agent you’re sooooo happy with her service so far, you’d like her to transfer you to her supervisor right after you’re done so you can tell the boss how wonderful she is…

She’ll love you for it.

…then make your most difficult request immediately after. She’ll feel compelled to try her damnedest.

9. Attaching post-it notes with hand-written messages to stuff increases response to the attached message.

Direct mail people have known this for eons. Now it’s time for you to benefit too. The basis behind this weird snippet is that adding a personal touch and personal accountability to the action you’re wanting people to perform increases the chances they’ll actually do it.

10. Tips at restaurants increase when the after dinner mint is given by the waiter at the end of the meal, instead of at the door on the way out.

That’s because patrons attribute the waiters “gift”, however insignificant it may appear, as a sort of personal “favor” in their mind. Tips increase even further if 2 mints are given and further still if one is given and then he doubles back and gives a 2nd as a sort of “what the heck” action.

But if you think you gotta be shoveling fries at Steak n’ Shake to benefit from this one, think again. The core principle at work here is the mental significance people attach to those who “go the extra mile” for them… yes, even if that mile means another 3 cent candy. Just make sure they know it was YOU who was responsible.

11. Reciprocation works even better when you ALREADY DO your end of the deal

…and THEN ask for their compliance instead of proposing it in the form of an exchange.

In other words, a “I’ll do this IF you do that” kind of deal is not nearly as persuasive as “I already did this for you, could you do this for me?”

The trick is to phrase it where only a real dick would turn down your offer.

12. Favors increase in value in the mind of the giver over time, and decrease in the mind of the receiver.

Useful because it tells us that asking for reciprocation “favors” need to be done soon after you helped them. Wait too long and they’ll downplay it’s value.

On the flipside, if it’s been quite awhile since a certain someone did a favor for you, it’s likely reached monolithic proportions in their mind by now. To win them back, you should acknowledge that you never forgot what he/she did for you “that one time” and then do something for them.

13. Asking people for a small version of a commitment up front will lead to a dramatic increase in their acceptance of a much larger request later.

This is why I like to design my new online order forms with a 2 step process. The first step is asking simply for their name and e-mail address. Then when they hit “continue” and move to the next screen, their name and e-mail are already filled in on the payment form and all they have to do now is choose which A/B package they want and enter in their credit card info.

The 2-step approach is better for several reasons:

1. I ask for a small commitment first. Just name and e-mail. Easy as pie.

2. The simple name/e-mail form not only pre-fills their info on the next screen, but also adds them to a follow-up list behind the scenes so that in the event they abandon the checkout process, I can contact them via e-mail and hopefully nudge them back into a sale.

3. People are more likely to complete the order process and not close out the window if they’ve already made a form submission commitment. In the mind it goes something like this “I’ve already said I was going to buy this product. I wouldn’t do that unless I really wanted it, so let’s go ahead and get it.”

Another good example of this in action is a study done where people were FAR more likely to accept a big gaudy sign in their nicely manicured front lawn if you first approached them asking to put a small sign in their front window. Then 2 weeks later, come back and hit them up about the gigantic lawn-monster. A shocking 70-80 percent of affluent homeowners let the survey guys junk up their yards when they got them to make the small commitment first.

Don’t underestimate this. It’s powerful shit.

Get this: Political prisoners can eventually be molded to denounce ALL their former beliefs and even praise their captors if they’re run through this same process of accepting the new doctrine a little bit at a time, over and over and over – bit by bit.

The bottom line is most people want to be consistent with their past behaviors.

14. People will want to act in line with the standards you’ve set for them.

For example, “I know you’ll do the right thing. You’re a good person.”

To get this principle to work, what you’ve got to do is label them and they’ll act in accordance with the label.

The airlines use a subtle version of this after every flight: “We know you have many airlines to choose from, so we thank you for choosing ours.” After all, you must’ve chosen that airline for a REASON, didn’t you? Well, a good reason for sure, because you’re a savvy consumer. And “savvy customers” will make the same “good decision” again.

This one’s particularly fascinating to me because it can be used in very subtle ways to get people to do (or not do) all kinds of things. I bet if you really thought about it for awhile, you could figure out how to dramatically reduce refunds in your business (even if the customer is dissatisfied) if you only used the proper labels… (I know I can…)

15. Asking people to predict what they would do in a given situation made them want to perform consistently with that prediction when the time came.

More Consistency Principle in action with this one.

For example…

Restaurants (or anyone) can reduce no-shows by changing “Please call if you have to cancel” to “Will you please call if you have to cancel?”

See how it works? You’re asking for a commitment and for them to perform in line with expectations.

To increase attendance even more, say “We’ll mark you down as a ‘yes’ and I’ll let the others know as well” – now you’ve attached the subtle hint of public humiliation to the outcome – they’d better show up or else… what will the “others” think? My oh my…

To bump response even more, find out why they say “yes” and use that info to bind them to their words.

16. Get them to take an active approach.

Getting people to write down their commitment is more likely to get them to follow through.

This is why direct mail people have used “involvement devices” on their order forms for decades. When you order Playboy magazine, they’ll make you move a little colored circular sticker a whopping 1-inch into a little area set aside for it. Why? A task uncompleted is more likely to bother you, which is more likely to get you to complete it, which is more likely to get you to go ahead and send in the order card.

Weird? Irrational? Yes. But the numbers don’t lie. It works.

In a sales office, a good example of this would be getting everyone to write down their sales/income goals. And in retail, getting people to fill out the credit app themselves will result in fewer disputes later on than having the salesperson do it for them.

In doctors offices, making patients write down their own appointment times on the little appointment card will get you fewer no-shows.

Don’t try to make logical sense out of it, just shut up and use it. It just works.

17. “The best way to ride a horse is in the direction the horse is going.”

In other words, to get stubborn people to switch over to a new way of doing things, first demonstrate how they were correct in the past, and how this new way is aligned with their CURRENT practices, beliefs, and values.

Doing it this way frames their old decision as “good based on the info they had at the time.” Because nobody likes to be told they’re out of date or wrong.

If there’s still a few stragglers hanging around afterward, you can bend them to your will by applying a cocktail of social pressure and social proof of the “new” idea. They’ll crack soon enough.

18. Asking someone for a favor will actually increase their perception of you.

If you borrow a book from someone and they give it to you, their mind dialogue will go something like:

“Why am I going out of my way to help Greg? I wouldn’t do that for someone I didn’t like. Maybe Greg’s not such a bad guy after all.”

And if they refuse your favor, you’ll only end up with the same “nothing” you had from them in the first place.

19. When asking for a donation, adding the phrase “even a penny will help” boosts donations

…without hurting the average donation amount. Likewise wth time; “Just an hour of your time would really help.”, “Even a brief phone call would help.”, etc

A lot of people don’t donate because they think their paltry sum won’t make a dent, so therefore they shouldn’t even bother. But by adding this sweet little line to your request, their pocketbooks will open.

20. When auctioning, start the bids low to get people committed and emotionally involved.

I’ve been doing this on eBay since 1998. It works for 3 reasons:

1. Low barrier to entry for people wanting to bid.

2. Social proof for more people to bid once they see how many other people are bidding.

3. Commitment. People are more likely to bid higher once you’ve wrapped them in your invisible web of commitment and emotional attachment. Hell, they might not even WANT the item itself… they just want to WIN.

21. To show yourself off without looking like an egomaniac, get someone else to do the talking for you.

Public speakers do this all the time. A musician’s manager talks up his artist like there’s no tomorrow. But there’s an even sneakier way of employing this principle.

The funny thing is, people don’t discount the bias as much as they should, so it doesn’t matter if the person signing your praises is paid by you or not.

If you work in an office with other people, train the receptionist to do these steps before transferring you:

1. Find out what the caller wants

2. …then say “Oh ok, you want [blank], I’ll transfer you to Sally who [give ultra credientials here].”

3. Bingo. Now Sally will have a VASTLY easier time talking to the prospect and will likely clinch the sale.

Another way of doing this is to plaster the walls with stuff showing off your credientials and testimonials. Works well for doctors, therapists, lawyers, personal trainers, etc. It can work for you too.

22. Ask for the input of your “lesser mortals” to build their trust and favor of you.

As long as each team member’s input is recognized and considered, they won’t feel raw about it if you decide to go a different direction. After all, you’re still the leader; you’ve got to lead.

23. The true dissenter is a better persuader than the devil’s advocate.

So when testing your idea for holes, it’s better to bring in someone who’s passionately against it to see if they have any good arguments you might not have thought of, than to just name one of your group as the devils advocate.

People in a company must not feel reluctant to disagree. It doesn’t mean you have to do what they suggest, just understand what they really want is to be HEARD.

24. Educating people based on others’ screw-ups and solutions is more effective than simply telling them the “right” way to do things.

If your training materials present things from the point of view of “Here is how things are done around here” then you’re wasting a lot of time and money.

Instead, present it like this: “Here’s Bob. Watch Bob really fuck up this assignment. Ok, can you tell me what Bob did wrong and what he really should have done instead?”

Believe it or not, training in this way will help the ideas sink in FASTER and for LONGER than ever before. And in case you can’t connect the dots, Buckwheat, that plugs up a huge gaping hole of time and money you’re losing right now. You can thank me later.

25. Acknowledge a weakness, then parlay it into an advantage.

Popular examples from big companies:

“Avis – we’re #2 but we try harder.”

“The Peace Corps: The toughest job you’ll ever love”

“Motel 6: Our rooms aren’t fancy but our prices aren’t fancy.”

“Listerine: The taste you hate three times a day.”

“L’Oreal: We’re more expensive, but you’re worth it.”

Also, whenever confessing a fault, the advantage needs to be logically RELATED to the fault:

“Our restaurant doesn’t have much space, but that’s exactly what gives it our cozy atmosphere.”

1984: Reagan vs Mondale – Reagan acknowledged he was old then said “I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponent’s youth and inexperience.”

HA! Great line.

26. Admitting you were wrong and screwed up will win you more persuasive trust than blaming a result on uncontrollable outside events.

The trick is to afterward offer how you’ve learned from the mistakes and fixed the problems that caused them so they’re not going to happen again.

This one works SO WELL that I’d even go as far as to say it’s a good idea to claim personal responsibility for something even when you’re not really sure who’s responsible and who isn’t.

It flies under the radar of popular skepticism! It’s cunning, it’s devious… I love it!

You just gotta have the balls to fess up. Just try it. You’ll be amazed how much trust it wins you later on.

27. People respond better to others’ with similar names, similar birthdays, towns with the same name, etc.

Kinda weird but true.

People also tend to pick professions (statistically) based on how similar it sounds to their own name. Even first letters count: Hardware store – Harry. Dentist – Dennis.

People move to locations with similar names, cities with numbers corresponding to their birthday “Two Harbors, Minnesota” 2/2 – Three Forks, Montana 3/3

People also choose streets matching their name, marry others with similar names (Eric/Erica, Charles/Charlotte), and even pick favorite candy: Allan/Almond Joy.

Knowing this could clue you in on how to name products, plans, reports, etc… dealing with Peterson at Pepsi? Try “The Pepsi Proposal” or “The Peterson Plan”…(alliteration always helps too)

28. Repeating a customer request back to them verbally will increase satisfaction and persuasion.

ALWAYS do this. Remember, people want to deal with people who they feel UNDERSTAND them.

Also, mirroring a person physically will get better response than merely doing your own thing. Pickup artists always teach students to match the energy level of a group of people when you approach the group. It’s just smart. Calm people don’t want to be around a spaz, and people having an energetic good time don’t want to be around a sleepwalker.

29. When smiling, the smile must be real and sincere.

Sounds obvious, but too many people employ the fake smile. Fake smiles can be detected, even if unconsciously.

If its difficult for you to smile, find something about a person you can honestly admire and then tell them. You’ll often get a surprising result.

30. Scarcity sells even formerly undesirable products.

Limit the quantity. Limit the time period it’s available.

A lot of people know this, but few do it right. The trick is to make the reasoning as REAL and BELIEVABLE as possible. To me, this is a little bit art, a little bit science. Usually, the number of words increases with the level of believability you’re wanting to convey. Not always. Usually.

Master it, and you’ll sell more, get more responses, whatever.

31. Threat of loss is more powerful a motivator than promise of gain.

POWERFUL stuff. I can’t emphasize enough.

Remember, people are slothful to change of any kind. Threatening a man’s job he already has will motivate him TONS MORE than promising him a new job… even if that new job is markedly better.

Same goes for selling. Writing a pitch to point out how you’ll fix a hole that ALREADY EXISTS within your prospect’s life will get a lot more orders than one written promising him all sorts of new fixes, changes, benefits, and technology.

The mind says to itself: Change = hard. Me no like change.

On the other hand: Losing something I already have = better get off my ass and fix this NOW!

32. Giving a good reason using the word “because” increases compliance.

Simple and oh-so-true. Personally I like to give reasons for just about every damn thing I say. Makes sales life easier that way.

Also, get people to give their “because” to you to reaffirm their own decision to buy from you. It’ll serve to reinforce in their mind the decision they’ve already made. A powerful adhesive.

Speaking of that…

33. When asking for reasons, asking for only one good reason is more persuasive than asking for many.

One reason = easy.
Lots of reasons = hard.

The brain does not enjoy “hard”

On the flipside: Making it difficult (by asking your prospect for a lot of reasons why they should get a competitors product) will make your product’s 1 or 2 good reasons look better by comparison.

Likewise, asking prospects to imagine themselves on a vacation or using your product is more persuasive as long as its easy for them to imagine doing so.

Bonus Moral: Make it as idiotically EASY as physically possible for your prospects to imagine (or see, or feel) the benefits of your product. Never try to be abstract or cute. A sale is a very fragile thing. Being anything less than crystal clear will kill the sale.

Which brings me to…

34. Names that are easy to pronounce get better response.

Stock symbols that can be pronounced perform better. Bad handwriting is less persuasive than nicer handwriting. Messages that are simple and easy to understand are more persuasive than using big words and complicated sentences.

35. Statements that rhyme are perceived as more persuasive.

“A stitch in time saves nine.”

“Caution and measure will win you treasure”

“What sobriety conceals, alcohol reveals”

“Loose lips sink ships”

“The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup”

“Gillette: The best a man can get”

“Click it or ticket”

“Bounty, the quilted, thicker, picker-upper”

“Birds of a feather flock together”

“If the gloves don’t fit, you must aquit!”

As David Ogilvy once said:

When you have nothing new to say about your product, sing about it.

…just make sure it rhymes

36. Prior experience colors perception.

Ten pound weights feel heavier after lifting a five pound and lighter after lifting a twenty.

Compare the cost of your product to something similar, yet unrelated.

Dan Kennedy calls this an “apples to oranges comparison”

Example: Comparing the cost of the consulting CD audios to the cost of the same amount of consulting time if they paid you by the hour. Now those $495 CDs with 20 hours of audio look like a bargain compared to your going rate of $250 per hour. Why, they’re getting 20 hours of you for the price of 2! Amazing!

37. Loyalty programs work better when you start them out with “points” right off the bat.

Affiliate programs get more signups if you start their accounts off with a positive balance of $25 or whatever. Loyalty punch cards that use stamps: give them 2 stamps immediately that contribute to their total.

And if you’re worried about giving them free stuff like that, just raise the goal total by the same amount. So if they needed 10 stamps and you started them with 0, now give them 2 stamps and raise the total needed to 12. Same difference. You’ll get more participation and faster compliance. Really.

38. Naming products:

Crayola figured this one out long ago.

Unexpected/descriptive names (like “Kermit green”) and ambiguous names (like “millenium orange”) create more mystery and intrigue (and therefore desire) than simply saying “green” or even “forest green”

So think about how you can name your product in an interesting way, but still have it be simple to pronounce and easy to understand.

39. Use point of sale branding reminders that tie into the advertising so prospects make the proper mental connections before making a purchase.

Memory aides can take the form of posters/logos in bars, cardboard displays at Wal-Mart, or even those tacky promotional items like logo’d frisbees.

Since there is often a disconnect between the location of the marketing and the location of the sale, you need to set up mental triggers to connect the ideas together in the prospect’s mind.

40. People are more self conscious in front of mirrors and are therefore less likely to steal, litter, or do other things they know they shouldn’t.

It’s cheaper than installing cameras and surprisingly… even more effective!?

Yup. At least in every test that’s been done.

And if putting mirrors in certain places is impossible or impractical for you, then in lieu of a mirror, even a poster with a pair of eyes on the wall reduces undesirable behavior.

The basis is, people don’t like the feeling of being watched when they’re doing something they know is wrong. Makes the slimeballs feel even more guilty… even if the watcher is themselves, or a fake pair of eyes in a poster.

41. Being emotional/sad makes you pay more for stuff and accept less for what you’re selling.

Some sellers explot this by purposely making the prospect emotional before negotiating the sale. That’s a little slimey even for me, but it works.

The moral is: Always compose yourself before dealing with a negotiation situation. Buying, selling, anything.

42. Pattern interrupts:

Another of my devious favorites. Weird but true.

Here’s how it works:

Say something unexpected, followed by a statement you want them to believe and they’re more likely to believe it.

Most people walk about their lives in a sort of perpetual zombie-like mental sleep. Jolting them out of their sleep opens a small window of time where they can be influenced. You accomplish this by saying something unexpected; the same thing you’d normally say, but using unconventional words.

For example: Quoting a price in pennies then saying “It’s a bargain” increased sales. Calling cupcakes “halfcakes” then saying “they’re delicious” increased sales.

But take note: it does not work in isolation. You can’t just say the unexpected thing and expect them to buy. You have to say the unexpected thing, THEN inject in your shot of persuasion you want them to believe (e.g. “they’re delicious”) and after that you’ll have greater success.

43. Caffeine makes you more persuasive to others and more susceptible to persuasion.

Get yourself and your audience hopped up on caffeine.

Give your presentations when people are most alert, and NOT after lunch when everyone’s sluggish. I’ve done this before and … it actually works wonders. You’ll say and do things you wouldn’t normally have said and done. For a brief period of time, you’ll be a dynamo in the conference room.

44. Meeting face to face and over the phone is more persuasive than over email or chat.

Personally, as some of my readers know, I hate cell phones and most communications technology in general – even though I’m a member of the first generation to grow up with it. But I’m also a member of the LAST generation to remember what it’s like to not have much of ANY communications technology beyond the normal phone.

And those were better, more personable, peaceful times. Back when people actually KNEW one another and if you were “friends” you really were friends. It wasn’t just some meaningless label you threw around, like so many people do today. Nowadays you can be “friends” and never even talk to each other.

Anyway, how this relates to persuasion is that study after study and public tests in many companies have shown that phone and personal face-to-face meetings accomplish MUCH more than e-mail, chat, and text.

Bonus nugget: Knowing personal details about each other will help more of your negotiations reach a successful deal for both of you.

45. Individualistic cultures are more influenced by a “benefits me” approach:

This means the US, UK, and Western Europe will be persuaded more by a more “selfish” sounding message.

Collectivist cultures are more influenced by a “benefits us” approach: Asia, South America, Africa, Eastern Europe.

The key difference here is messages of “treat yourself” versus “share with others”

The differences are also seen in how the Consistency Principle is applied: U.S. people are more likely to follow through because they personally committed to it. People from collectivist cultures are more likely to follow through when you add that they and their peers committed to it.

46. Collectivist cultures hate voicemail because its impersonal

…because they like to experience feedback with regard to their relationship to that person. Americans tend to just jump straight to the point and leave a blunt message without regard to how its being perceived.

If ya ask me, I like the American way of doing business best. It’s no bullshit, more direct and to the point. Less mumbo-jumbo. If an American says “yes”, he means “yes” – if a Japanese businessman says “yes” he means “yes I heard you.”

And the thing that REALLY frustrates me about Japanese businessmen is they’ll never be straight with you and just say “no” flat out. Instead, they’ll throw out some weak statement like “It is difficult”

“It’s difficult” essentially means “no” in Japanese businessman talk.

*sigh*

Whatever.

Anyway, there you have it. I’ve given you 46 persuasion keys as promised. Now it’s up to you to unlock the doors in your life with them that lead to greener pastures.

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That’s because life’s too short to figure it all out on your own. You need guides – grizzled, bloodied veterans with a few arrows in their backs.

Because it’s these people who’ll make YOUR life a whole lot easier when Lady Fate drops by to sprinkle some shit on your path to greatness.

Over the years, I’ve kept such a list of my own favorite quotes. Here are all of them for you below, along with what each one of them means to me.

You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it moving.

- Gary Halbert

It was a sad time when Gary died in 2007. Nobody expected him to go so suddenly (and at the relatively “young” age of 69.) The first time I heard this quote was from Gary Halbert’s famous 1987(?) LA seminar, which was back when he had a thick black beard and (mostly) full head of hair – and dating this beautiful woman, Paulette, whom he always talked about. People would ask him questions about this and that, trying to make sure everything was “perfect” before they set out on their new business venture. It was always at this point Gary would get all riled up and say “Motion beats meditation – you don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it GOING!”

Over the years he’d repeat variations on the same theme, always trying to drum it into people’s stubborn heads to fail fast and keep the ball rolling because the more times you step up to bat, the more likely one of those times will be the one you knock a home run.

Advertising is hard.

- Jim Rutz(?)

I’m not sure exactly who said this one, but copywriter Gary Bencivenga elaborated on it when he added “Advertising is hard… when you don’t have a system.”

And it’s true. If you’re going to write ads (especially GOOD ones, consistently) you need a system. A method of research, a method of organizing that research, and a method of constructing the ad, piece-by-piece. Personally, I use a combination of Gene Schwartz, Gary Bencivenga, and Clayton Makepeace’s methods to write my advertising. That, and a little of my own style based on how I like to work (jumping around, writing different chunks of the ad and assembling them all later into a polished whole.)

Breaks are for sissys.

- Dan Kennedy

Classic Dan. I love it. His time management book (and basically everything else he’s ever personally written or spoken) is outstanding. Dan’s always had a very ruthless, aggressive persona when it comes to work and getting shit done. Looking back on this quote reminds me of a comment he made recently about Tim Ferriss’ 4-Hour Workweek book, saying something to the effect of “If you can get an entire week’s worth of work done in 4 hours, then the thing to do is NOT sit back and relax, but to pack another few weeks worth into the remaining 36 hours.” Ha! How’s that for hardcore?

It’s true though; the main thing that separates the successful from the masses is how they use their time. That fact is becoming ever more concrete to me now than ever.

Life is a moving parade.

- David Ogilvy

This quote from Ogilvy is used to explain to marketing students that since life is ever-changing, new groups of people are continually moving in and out of different markets all the time. Take furniture, for example. Back when I moved to St. Louis, I was a HOT prospect for certain types of furniture. I moved into the market, bought what I wanted from the deals available, and then moved out, completely satisfied. Nowadays I can barely stand to even ENTER a furniture store, let alone be convinced to part with any money for more of it. What this means to the furniture marketer is that it doesn’t matter if his advertising is redundantly suspicious (e.g. two flood sales in a 3 month time period) because no one will ever pick up on it. Well, at least not good prospects anyway (people who will actually BUY the stuff now.)

The same is true for marketing health products. One time my uncle asked me “You still selling that thing? You’ve sold so many you’d think people would all know about it by now.”

This is NEVER true. There’s just too many damned people in the world, too many fresh brains who have never had this particular problem before, never heard of my particular solution before, just now entering the market to buy, and would rather same tons of time and money buying from an established authority than risk it on something else… EVEN if the info is available elsewhere for “free.”

And lemme tell ya… “free” info is rarely acted upon, even if it’s the RIGHT info they need. Why? Because most people don’t value something unless they paid money for it. And the more money paid, the more sacred they hold the product… even if it’s just a sheet of paper with a few words typed on it.

Success is a process, not an event.

- Gary Halbert

Halbert did not originate this quote, but I first heard it from him. Most people think in terms of “Oh boy, once I have this or that, man, I’ll have arrived. Success will be mine.” And to make matters worse, most advertising panders to this false thinking, reinforcing it. But it’s not the advertisers fault; they only do this because they’ve learned it’s the only thing people really respond to in great numbers. Why? Because deep down, we all want to believe in the magic pill, even if our rational brain says there is none.

The thing about success and the nature of desires is that once you’ve achieved your goals; you’re not happy sitting still as if you’ve all of a sudden “made it” to the top of Success Mountain. Life is change. Without change, there is no life, and without ever-evolving desires, there is no change.

That’s why people who got rich in something like real estate go on to sell “how to” courses to the masses, because once a certain level of financial comfort is secured, you want 2 things:

1) to “give back” to society somehow, and…
2) to see if you can make even more money, test your limits in life and see where they lie

Otherwise, if you just sit there on your pile of money with no further ambitions, you’ll die. Literally. It really is lonely at the top. But that’s not something most people discover until they’ve worked their ass off to get there.

I remember Frank Kern once said something along the lines of “The worst feeling in the world is working your entire life for goals you finally achieve only to discover they were hollow victories. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”

Therefore, we all constantly need a “next big thing”… and another… and another.

Be Somebody. Be Somewhere. Do Something.

- Dan Kennedy

Dan’s key to life and business success couldn’t be said more succinctly. You need to be a force in the world that goes out and makes things happen, creating better things and affecting change. To be reactionary is to lose yourself mindlessly into the herd, living a life of quiet desperation.

You’re either growing or you’re rotting.

- Dan Kennedy

Another good one from Dan, along the same theme.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, feed him for a lifetime… but all he really wants is the fish – so just give it to him.

I have no idea who I got this one from, but it’s an important marketing maxim. Most people don’t want to be told HOW to do something; most would rather just pay somebody else for the desired result. Obvious exceptions to this would be craftsmen and people who love the process of doing certain things… but in business, it’s much smarter to sell, say for example, an ad that will pull in orders – completely written, polished and ready to send off to dozens of magazines, than it is to sell a study course teaching people how to write a successful ad.

A buyer is a buyer is a buyer. A non-buyer is a non-buyer is a non-buyer.

- Dan Kennedy

Very important concept to understand in marketing. People who buy certain things buy them because they’re “buyers” – that’s what they ARE. That’s WHO they are. For example, I buy leather-bound classic edition books from Easton Press. I buy craploads of books from Amazon. I always like to browse little book shops for fun. Guess what? I’m a book BUYER, and more specifically, I am a book buyer of a certain pedigree – only non-fiction books in certain subjects (that all have to do with getting ahead in life in one way or another) AND fancy leather-bound classics in fiction. That’s IT. To try and sell me Ann Coulter’s latest time-specific opinion piece would be an exercise in futility. Same goes for any other book I deem “a waste of time.”

By the same token, people who are buyers via certain mediums are BUYERS of that medium. For example, mail order buyers are different people than infomercial buyers, who are different still than people who only shop in physical stores, or only buy off the internet. My mom is a great example of a classic “mail order buyer” – she puts many promotions aside to read later so long as the headline catches her attention. On the other hand, my friend Jason’s dad is NOT a mail order buyer. He gets the same promotion in the mail and says “Oh, it’s another one of THESE THINGS” and instantly trashes it. Even if the thing being sold would benefit him directly, he’s just not a mail order buyer. Never will be. No sale.

The concept of being a “buyer” also applies to quantity. If you have a new CD/DVD set on bass fishing, would it be easier to sell to the guy who is interested in bass fishing, but owns zero similar products, or a guy who’s into bass fishing and owns a whole closet full of tapes, CD’s, DVD’s, books, and more?

Many years ago, I used to think the best prospect would be the guy with no courses, because that would mean he “needs” my course.

I was very, very wrong.

The guy owns no bass fishing courses because he’s not a buyer of bass fishing courses (for whatever reason), even though he is still as interested in the topic as the next guy. That’s not to say he couldn’t BECOME a buyer if you had a good enough ad via the right medium… but if you’re banking on a sales success your first time out, you’re better off delivering your pitch to the guy who’s brimming over with similar products.

There is no problem that can’t be solved with a world-class sales letter.

- Gary Halbert

Halbert firmly believed this and proved it on several occasions; not just in business but also to solve different problems in everyday life, like getting a date, or even finding a wife. But what he’s really saying here is the written word is the most powerful force on Earth. There’s that Victor Hugo quote that goes “There’s nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.” And it is the persuasive written word that spreads these ideas like nothing else.

The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.

- Dr. Linus Pauling

Go ahead. Don’t be afraid to crank out gobs of ideas. Sure, most of them will later prove to be crap, but hidden among them is your Next Big Thing.

There are lots of legitimate reasons to be poor. None to stay poor.

- Dan Kennedy

You can’t control when, where, or under what circumstances you were born. You also can’t control a whole lot up until age 18. But all the time after that, all the way till the day you die is YOURS; figure out what you want and use your time to go after it.

What you say is more important than how you say it.

- Gary Halbert

Gary always used to ask his students: “If your wife was having a baby, is there any way that information could be communicated to you that would NOT be of interest to you?”

Hence, he made the point it wasn’t so much how you said things in ads (colorful language, etc) but what you said in them – saying the RIGHT things – things the reader was passionately interested in and wanted to hear.

When I was young, I worried that others thought the wrong things about me. As I got older, and into a few transgressions, I was worried people were thinking the right things about me. Then as the years went by, I gained wisdom, and… I realized nobody was thinking about me at all!

- Gary Halbert

I love this quote. It’s an important lesson, especially for business owners who sacrifice attention-getting power in their marketplace in exchange for some ethereal notion of “professionalism.”

“What will people think of me if I do X?” they whine. Well, that’s just it; they’re not thinking of you now, and neither will they be thinking of you after they see your ad and buy whatever it is you’re selling. The memory of the marketplace is shockingly short (a fact which, by the way, the news takes advantage of ALL the time). The most you can expect a lot of times is an impression in the customer’s mind that reads, “Oh, him? He’s the guy who (blank)” – And if you sound generic, you’ll be filed away as precisely that.

The “Professional’s Code” is very simple: You show up where you’re supposed to be… when you said you’d be there… having done what you said you’d do. That’s it.

- John Carlton

Always do what you say you’re gonna do. Period. If you can’t, then don’t make the promise to begin with. This is something I’ve tried to live by for years, almost to the point now it’s become religion. To hear John Carlton articulate it in this way was music to my ears.

People settle for mediocrity because they are lazy.

- Donald Trump

Gotta love “The Donald” and his no bullshit delivery. I completely agree with this one and have a similar quote of my own below.

This is NOT a dress rehearsal, THIS is for real! Real life!

- Ted Nicholas

What Ted is saying here is, there’s no practice run here; this isn’t high school or college anymore where you can put things off and try things out. This is real life and it’s not a question of IF you’ll die, but WHEN… so it’s important to WAKE UP and start living like this is all you got, because…it very well may be.

Would you rather have the pain of regret or the pain of discipline?

- Ted Nicholas

Following the same theme, Ted makes an excellent point. At the end of people’s lives, regrets often come from the things you DIDN’T do, not all the other stuff. Discipline is painful for awhile, but the habbits it creates within you are priceless. It’s this discipline that takes us to higher levels of life and allows us to experience more while we’re still alive to enjoy it.

If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

- Ted Nicholas

You’ve gotta at least try. I’m often surprised at what I can get just by asking. (it also helps to ask with the right frame)

Every product has a unique personality and it is your job to find it.

- Joe Sugarman

That’s the reason why swipe-file ads don’t work very well in the hands of newbies. Structures can be copied, but to create a truly masterful ad, each product needs to have it’s own presentation, voice tone, and marketing angle. Those things come from knowing the product and the market who buys it; two key elements that mindless swiping can’t fix.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.

- Zig Ziglar

If it’s worth your time at all, then it’s OK to suck at doing it. I’ve met people (and been one myself) who won’t do something unless they’re already perfect at it. Forget that. If it’s worth doing, just go out and do it. You’ll get better soon enough.

You can get anything you want by helping enough other people get what they want.

- Zig Ziglar

Famous Zig quote. Speaks for itself, but what he’s really talking about here is VALUE. Nothing happens in the world without someone first creating value for somebody else.

Toys are meant to be played with.

When I was little, I was religiously taught to take care of stuff, especially my toys. The more expensive the toy, the more care. Which was good in some ways, but I took it a bit too far – often to the point where playing with my stuff wasn’t fun anymore because I’d always be too worried about damaging it (which in retrospect, I think was more about not wanting to disappoint mom and cost her money than it was about the toy itself.) And since I was so young, this mental programming was INCREDIBLY difficult to reverse.

Then one day the mother of a very poor family who lived down the street from us looked me directly in the face and said something profound I’ll remember for the rest of my life: Toys are meant to be played with.

Or in other words; we are not our things. The stuff in our lives is meant to be used for OUR BENEFIT, not to be perpetually saved for some unknown date in the future. I call that “saving for a rainy day that never comes.” Mom always had that mindset and still does till this day. And I used to be a victim of it too. It’s based on a scarcity mindset that says “I better save this now because I might not be able to get another in the future.”

Toys preserved, food saved, luxuries unused. Some might call that “good preparation.” But you know what really happens? Eventually the forces of time take their toll and… toys lose interest, food spoils, and luxuries decay. Once again, the universe imposes change on those stubborn to embrace it. You might as well have never bought any of that stuff in the first place.

Get it, use it, enjoy it. It’s all temporary anyway.

Money solves problems not having money creates.

- John Carlton

Some people love to sit on a high horse and declare “Silly fools. Money will not solve your problems.”

Well, they’re wrong. Money DOES solve many problems… but with an important catch: only the problems created by you not having enough money in the first place. For everything else, there’s Mastercard. Ha ha… no, for everything else, you’ll have to rely on things like knowledge, experience, personal magnetism, good nutrition, etc.

If your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.

If you’re world-class at something, boasting can and often will take you down a few notches. The guy who gets results let’s them do most of the talking.

Freedom of the mind comes from having few choices, not many.

There’s a pretty good book called “The Paradox of Choice” – which basically talks about how there’s so many choices today, it’s actually FAR more difficult to make a simple decision now than in years past.

For example, back in the 1950′s, if you wanted some meat you went down to the local butcher and bought some damn meat. Beef, pork, whatever. But you can’t do that anymore. Now we’ve got “organic” versus “not organic”, “grass fed” versus “grain fed”, “free range” versus “caged”, and the list goes on and on and on and ON. Go to Whole Foods and compare that to what you see at Sam’s Club and the differences will be profound. Food just ain’t food anymore, and the choices are mind-boggling, even paralyzing.

That’s one of the reasons why I actually DO get most of my stuff from Sam’s Club; I abhor dizzying choice; I just want to get the thing, get out of there, and move on to something more important than 96 different kinds of salad dressing.

The result? A more stress-free lifestyle and time freedom to do more of what I enjoy.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

- Gandhi

There’s also the Michael Jackson song Man In The Mirror that says “If you want to make the world a better place, then take a look in the mirror and make a change.” Something like that. And it’s good advice. If you don’t see what you want in the world, first make sure you’re leading by example.

Know yourself. Make yourself. Be who you are.

- Thompson family motto

The original was simply “Know thyself” – but I’ve since changed it to reflect reality. From an existential point of view, it’s impossible to know yourself if you don’t first define what it is you want and how you want to align yourself in life. My “know yourself” means to realize that you do actually have a base temperament rooted in biology, a general default disposition tweaked by a myriad of variables (including astrological concepts.) And it’s not always easy to discover exactly what that is. That’s why many people lead inauthentic lives, always trying to please someone (or someTHING) else. They simply haven’t taken the time to listen to themselves.

The “make yourself” part comes next. After you realize what biology has created in you, now you’ve got to find a way to work with that to achieve whatever it is you want to get out of life. This is where the existentialism of defining yourself comes into play – working within the parameters set by biology to create the “self” you really want to be.

And finally it’s all tied together with “be who you are” – setting all your plans into motion and actually LIVING out the life you’ve created, as opposed to shelving it for “the rainy day that never comes.”

Somewhere between cosmic freedom and responsibility to the people you love lays the answer to life

Saw this one in a hedonism book and loved it. Eloquently, it explains that cosmic freedom alone results in an unfulfilling life (all choice, no decision equals terrible existence) and responsibility to others alone suffers the opposite: no personal choice, too many responsibilities equals misery and desperation. The solution is to combine the two by taking all that is possible (cosmic freedom) and cherry-picking from it precisely what you desire responsibility over (adhering to certain people, lifestyles, and ideas and ignoring others because they don’t result in anything that fulfills you)

Life exists only at this very moment, and in this moment it is infinite and eternal. For the present moment is infinitely small; before we can measure it, it has gone, and yet it exists forever… You may believe yourself out of harmony with life and its eternal Now; but you cannot be, for you are life and exist Now.

- Alan Watts

Setting aside the fact that anything referred to as “infinite” is too vague a concept to even be discussed, this is still a valuable quote. Alan Watts wrote a book called (hubrisly enough) “The Book – The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are”

If you think of each little moment of your life like frames in a movie, or cards in a deck layed down one right after another, it’s easy to imagine how this quote plays out. Every little bit, every little action you take exists forever at that particular time in this particular reality. Let’s say a girl and I share a moment together, and kiss. Hit pause. Now if you could travel back to that exact moment, at that exact location, there we would be, still kissing, frozen in time.

Heavy stuff to think about.

The world is full of people who have stopped listening to themselves.

- Joseph Campbell

In the Hero With A Thousand Faces, Campbell talks about the stories that recur throughout history and the deep emotional imfact they have on humanity. It seems there are just certain things we are biologically “programmed” to respond to, no matter what. A lot of important ritual and lore comes from these deep-rooted response mechanisms – stuff I USED to think was total bullshit and a waste of good time. Well, not anymore. Try as hard as you want, it’s impossible to rise above our innate humanity.

And, Campbell says, even if we could rise above, why would we want to? I think he’s got a point there.

But in modern times, many of us have forgotten how to satisfy our base desires and have essentially “stopped listening to ourselves”, settling instead for what other people (or a perceived notion of God) thinks we should do and be.

I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

- Mark Twain

This one makes me chuckle a little every time I read it. Most of what we worry about never even happens.

Good artists copy. Great artists steal.

- Picasso

Pablo Picasso was an interesting guy. He had a very strong frame and for a short, old tubby guy, was pretty good with the ladies.

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

-Tyler Durden

Durden is the main guy in the fantastically poignant movie Fight Club. One of the main philosophies of Fight Club is “you are not your things” – and this quote says that once we lose our connection with our “stuff”, we become free to truly live life.

No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

-Tyler Durden

In this one he talks about going after your desires with complete involvement and to hell with everything else. We only live for so long, so why waste even the smallest bit? Many people will agree with what I just wrote there, but few actually live it. It’s hard for me to live it, too, but I am trying; that’s why I always want to keep this idea in front of me.

I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

-Tyler Durden

There is no “set for life” button in business or in life. Everything changes, evolves. Nothing is ever “done.” This is the existential view of “we are all works in progress.” Nothing is ever done until we’re dead.

The most faded ink is better than the best memory.

- Old Chinese Saying

Why do you think I write everything? Books, and all other written communication is how we save the next generation from making the same dumb mistakes we did. Unfortunately, it’s up to their own initiative to actually READ and ACT on our advice. Heaven help us all.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

- Thomas Jefferson

As much shit people sling on the subject of “truth in advertising” the plain fact is simple: You can rely on the fact that Rothman Furniture is having a Labor Day Sale FAR more than you can rely on whatever it says the government is (or isn’t) doing. Just like in Jefferson’s time, advertising today contains more truth, pound for pound, than anything we see on Fox News.

Let’s stop screwing around and make some DAMN MONEY.

- Frank Kern

As far as internet marketers go, I just can’t get enough of Frank Kern. He has a certain way of taking something you’ve heard or learned before, making it sound new, and most importantly, getting you to TAKE ACTION on it than anyone else I’ve ever seen. His secret sauce is using different words and phrases than you’re used to hearing to communicate powerful ideas that tap into the base emotions. This combination jolts people up out of their zombie-like daily sleepwalk and gets them to pay attention.

If you don’t use success to enrich your life, you’re just putting failure into Gucci shoes.

You have to do something with your financial success to feel fulfilled. That’s why many rich guys end up starting some sort of charity, or whatever. And like I said before, there’s always gotta be your “next big thing” or else you will stagnate and die. The universe frowns on stagnation by weeding you out of existence.

Beware of women who love you just the way you are; it’s a sure sign they settle too easily.

The problem with this kind of woman is if you’re the kind of guy who likes to continually improve and change for the better, then eventually you will “out grow” her and neither of you will be very happy with one another.

I used to always hate it when a girl would say “I just want somebody to love me for who I am” or something like “Here I am, take it or leave it. What you see is what you get.”

Fuck that. Life is about change and you can’t escape the fact that people do change. I’m a completely different guy than I was 3 years ago and 3 years from now I’ll be different still. Always changing, always evolving. What you must do instead is find a high quality girl that rolls with the punches so you can grow together.

Fucking is the last resort of a man who feels impotent.

Sexual insecurity. Economic insecurity. The inability of a man to provide for his family. These are all things that’ll cause a man to resort to desperate measures. When pressed, either by nagging thoughts swirling around in his own mind or biting criticism from others, he will stop at nothing to prove them (or himself) wrong. Over and over and over again. It’s a vicious cycle that ends only in total destruction UNLESS he can conquer his insecurities and emerge a new man.

Today’s money is always worth more than tomorrow’s.

This is an old bankers’ axiom. In a fiat currency-based world, it assumes all money is slowly withering away into worthlessness. It’s also a more complex way of saying “A bird in hand is better than two in the bush.”

You never get back lost time.

So simple, yet so few actually value their time. It’s the great equalizer in life. We all have the same 24 hours a day, 365 days per year. Everything else is up to you. Don’t be penny wise and pound foolish.

It’s not about ownership, it’s about control.

The universe does not attach property tags to things. That golf course you love, that tennis court you frequent, that swimming pool you take a dip in every summer: who gives a shit who “owns” them as long as YOU get to enjoy them? Ownership is an elusive objective and, from the universe’s point of view, doesn’t exist anyway. Life is about the things you get to experience. There’s an old Arab quote that said something like “You can have many mansions but sleep in only one per night.” As long as you get to sleep in it, who cares? Let some other guy worry himself over the upkeep and hassles of ownership. You’re here to live.

Opportunity cost is the biggest cost of all.

I think I got this from Warren Buffett when he was talking about investments. Often times, opportunity is ALL AROUND us. What it really comes down to is weeding out the good choices from the better choices, from the best choices. Focusing on the 80/20 rule, that 20% of your efforts will produce 80% of your results. Continually finding that 20%, refocusing only on it, and then dividing it again and again for maximum effectiveness.

In other words, it’s not about what you’re doing, but WHAT ELSE could you be doing with the same time and resources.

If there’s one thing you can always count on, it’s the laziness of people.

- Greg Thompson

Unfortunately I’ve personally discovered this to be true. But instead of moping around about the present state of humanity, you can actually profit from this assumption.

Here’s one example:

Let’s say you’re selling a product that’s quite easy for someone else to copy and rip off. You get some competitors, but most of them go away with enough time. Why didn’t you get more competitors? And why did the guys who tried to rip you off crash and burn?

It’s because they were lazy. And you weren’t. Simple as that. You did something they either couldn’t do or were unwilling to do to market that product. And even though all it required was just a wee bit more effort to beat you, most of them chose the low road and wiped out. The most common reason for this in my experience has been guys who didn’t pay close attention to their numbers and do the marketing math. That and bad sales copy will kill a product in no time flat.

Winners win. Losers lose.

- Greg Thompson

Just like how “a buyer is a buyer is a buyer”, it could be said “a loser is a loser is a loser.” If someone you observe is acting like a loser (and therefore IS a loser) you can reliably predict they will go on being a loser. Why? Because losers lose; that’s what they do.

On the flipside, winners win. If you find a winner in a losing position, it won’t be too long before his internal drive puts him back on top again. Donald Trump is a good example of this, being over a billion dollars in debt and coming back better than ever. He’s a winner. And winners win. Why? Because that’s what they do.

Now this isn’t to say people can’t change. They certainly can. But what my quote says is that “right now they are acting this particular way and it is highly unlikely they will do a complete 180 and change.” Just because someone CAN do something hardly means they actually WILL.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

- Mark Twain

Word choice is of paramount importance. That’s why, especially if you’re a writer, it’s valuable to study dictionaries, thesauri, and practice the ability to use less adjectives in writing and more verbs. More power words that conjure up emotional reactions.

“Thump” instead of “hit”

“Grab” instead of “get”

“Humiliate” instead of “embarrass”

Just some examples to get your brain chuggin’

Email this post

Out of that 400, about 310 of them are spam.

And since spam filters aren’t perfect, I do spend a little time each day making sure none of my REAL messages end up among all the garbage… wouldn’t want that inheritance check notification from granny flushed down the toilet alongside offers for replica Rolex watches.

So as I sit perched in my Ivory Tower overlooking the wasteland, I’ve discovered an interesting trend in spam the last couple years.

Spam used to be completely and utterly 100% Grade A moronic. But some of it has gotten halfway decent, and a few of them have gotten downright hilarious.

In e-mail marketing of any kind, it’s common knowledge the “subject line” and the “From” line are the two most important variables determining if the e-mail gets opened, and (hopefully) at least looked at.

Spammers test their e-mail subject lines relentlessly, as should anyone who uses e-mail to market products, legit or not. Even though my favorites are idiotic nonsense grammatically, some of them surprisingly tap into real core desires that exist within the target market.

Things most marketers are afraid to say or feel like they’re “above” saying, spammers go straight for the jugular. And it works, or else they wouldn’t keep barfing it out en masse.

Here’s what I mean:

#1. “women don’t like it when the friend in your pants is sleepy”

It’s funny to see how many creative ways spammers come up with to avoid triggering keywords like “penis” and “sex” that the filters constantly look out for. And it’s true; if you and your girl are wantin’ to get it on, it’s a pretty big downer when the “friend in your pants” won’t play ball.

Most guys react to this situation by making excuses like “this never happens, I have no idea what’s wrong” which… if ya think about it… is really putting the blame on the GIRL, and not the guy where it belongs.

Just as an aside, if you ever are in this situation with a woman, the “right” thing to do is own the experience, accept responsibility for it in your mind, and then make some comment like “eh, it’ll come around later… now in the meantime…” and then smile at her and use your imagination to please her in other ways until said “friend” feels a little more friendly.

#2. “bring back time when girls were yours”

Assumes a lot, doesn’t it? This one was my favorite for a long time. It’s the first spam I’ve seen hinting at the fact the reader might not have always been a total loser. Apparently girls wanted him at one time, but something happened and now he’s a leper. This spammer promises a return to the good ol’ days… that, in all likelihood, never actually existed.

#3. “tonight be a hero in her eyes”

I see a lot of “have great sex” sales pitches miss the crucial point this spammer here nails with perfection. Most pitches focus entirely on “mind blowing orgasms” and being able to “last all night”, etc etc. But one thing they don’t get is the core base desire of a man to be seen as a hero in the eyes of his woman. In fact, it’s such a strong base desire in most men, that many a successful business opportunity pitch has cashed in on precisely the opposite: being a horrible failure in her eyes, a man unable to provide for his family. It’s humiliating and emasculating to a man, and tapping into it works to sell him “how to make money” products. So why not harness the power of the opposite? If I ever wrote a sex pitch, I’d be focusing more on the look of ecstasy on her face and admiration in her eyes (the adoring way she looks up at you while biting her lip) and less on “lasting all night” – something most women don’t really want from a man anyway; they just want a guy to last “long enough” and then be done with it for awhile.

#4. “more man’s meat for laughable money”

Another great attempt to skirt the spam filters by not saying “bigger penis for less money” Classic.

#5. “never be flaccid again”

Holy shit! This would be a total nightmare. I guarantee you if this were a reality, you could make a fortune selling pills to make guy’s dicks SMALL and FLOPPY. Remember those Viagra ads where they say “if erection lasts longer than 4 hours, consult your physician”?? Oh, the pain, the pain…

#6. “do you feel like a giant compared to the midget in your pants?”

The mental image of this one makes me laugh every time. As a matter of fact, yes, I do feel like a giant compared to the little midget squirming around in my pants. He’s been slowly suffocating down there since 2004. No wonder I scare girls away.

#7. “girls will love you more with a bigger pole”

If only the real world really worked like this. If every time I wanted a girl, all I had to do was go out to some public place (maybe a bar, a club… Wal-mart), drop trow, show off my goods, and she’d come running. I wouldn’t even have to talk to anybody or any of that other lame shit. Life would be wonderful. And when I got tired of her and wanted someone new? Just go back to the frozen foods section and do it all again.

But for some baffling reason, women don’t base too much of their first impression of a man on the size of his dick. And they have this annoying habit of calling the cops if you try to show it to them before introducing yourself. Damn. I guess real life isn’t the dream world spammers would have us believe.

#8. “your big proud friend in the pants will overshadow the Empire State Building”

Now that’s just absurd.

#9. “you can appear rich by being very poor if you want”

This one confused me for awhile, until I saw they were selling replica watches. Then it made sense… sorta. See, if I wear a replica Rolex, I can appear rich… even though I may be living in my car. According to this spammer, the choice is mine.

#10. “don’t keep her waiting – change those ants in your pants to a real beast”

After I released the midget, army ants infested my pants like a motherfucker. But thank God, with this pill I was able to transform them into an unholy beast – to the delight of my girlfriend.

#11. “i showed susan my new length today”

Imagine waking up to an e-mail like this from your best friend. “Wow, I just thought Josh was joking yesterday when he said he was gonna show Susan in accounting his new penis.” As I click on the e-mail to open it, I can’t help but wonder, “Really, Josh, how did it go?”

#12. “your bed will be attracting women like a magnet”

Displaying my penis in the grocery aisle was easy enough, but having a bed attract women to my place automatically?! Now THAT’S efficient! I can only imagine what late-night infomercials would be like if Tempur-Pedic sold Chick Magnet Mattresses.

#13. “if there will be only girls around, will you be ready?”

You’re knocked unconscious. Drugged. Beaten. Stripped naked. You wake up in the fetal position in an all-white padded room 8 hours later, surrounded by beautiful women. A bright light shines overhead. Then an ominous robotic voice crackles over the intercom: “If there will be only girls around… will you be ready?”

Finally put to the test. Glad I read my spam.

#14. “punish her – to have sex 10 hours in a row???”

I can see the “punish her” subject line definitely appealing to some people, me included. And the little winking smiley face was a nice touch adding to its attention-getting power. Inside the e-mail body it simply read “to have sex 10 hours in a row???” followed by a nonsensical link. The triple question marks, though spammy, is actually an effective way of enhancing a message IF it’s used properly and above all, sparingly. Even though having sex 10 hours in a row isn’t something most mainstream people want, the “punish her” bit definitely taps into something core.

#15. “yes, girls always tell their girlfriends about the men they sleep with”

Reminds me of a typical Sex & The City cafe gossip scene. This line plays off the fact that if it’s bad for your woman to think you’re a crappy lover, then it’s a HUNDRED TIMES worse for all her friends and half the block to share the same opinion. After the two of you break up, the only sex you’ll get will be in another zipcode. But you can avoid this terrible fate by simply “being a hero in her eyes.”

#16. “Don’t let your love making rod become rusty due to its size”

How many times do the spammers have to remind us? The truth, dear Brutus, lies not in our personalities… but in the size of our rods.

#17. “the most powerful weapon for your sex battles”

Ah, so sex is a “battle” now. Two opponents square off between the sheets and, just like the Highlander, There Can Be Only One. With each woman I vanquish, my immortal penis grows stronger, standing firm to receive the Life Force as excruciating little bolts of lightning pummel my balls.

#18. “don’t you just want to run away when you can’t satisfy your girl?”

Sounds funny, but it’s no laughing matter to the man who feels like a sexual failure in front of his woman. Bravo to the spammers for coming up with this nugget. The target prospect will “get it” immediately.

#19. “women will be eating your watch with their eyes”

I’ve heard of women “undressing me with their eyes” before, but never snacking on my watch. Oh well. I guess as long as my bed magnet is working that night, who cares.

Guys, I can tell you first hand that wearing an expensive watch impresses no one but yourself… so make sure it’s one that makes YOU happy. I recently went out to dinner with a beautiful woman and my $108 “pretty good” watch got the same kind of attention as my $3,400 James Bond watch does.

#20. “lead your boner to victory”

Over trecherous mountains and through mucky swamp, I shall faithfully guide my shaft to its ultimate destination.

#21. “now your member can be as hard as Pinocchio’s nose”

What?! And besides… wouldn’t you want to say “as LONG as Pinocchio’s nose” ? Shocking how a spammer correctly spelled the word “Pinocchio” but can’t grasp basic grammar.

Hmm, come to think of it… a pill that, when swallowed, will make a man’s penis grow every time he tells a lie?

Make your own joke out of that one

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It was from a company I’d never heard of before called Finbarr International, based out of England.

Being a copywriter and therefore in the ad business myself, I’m always up for soaking in the persuasion language from just about anywhere. In fact it’s one of the main reasons I subscribe to a lot of different publications – to keep tabs on what different businesses are doing out there.

After reading this one over a couple times, I called my then-girlfriend and read it to her over the phone, which seemed to genuinely freak her out. She said I should be spending my money on my “wonderful girlfriend” rather than on some “creepy word.” She pleaded with me not to order, suggesting superstition or possibly something satanic, but I was adamant. I had to find out what this thing really was.

Here was what the ad said:

The Lost Word of Power

SECRET OF THE AGES REVEALED

Previously hidden. Known only to adepts.

The purchaser of this monograph is cautioned not to divulge it to others. It is the one supreme Word. It is easy to pronounce. It cannot be revealed here. Within it is the heartbeat of the Cosmos.

How to use the Word is revealed in The Lost Word Of Power, a four page pamphlet by Frater E.L. Francis.

The Word is made up of only four letters and can be spoken anywhere and at any time you need it.

We first published this monograph in 1985. Readers reported “miracles.” One man wrote “The effects are beyond anything I could possibly imagine… It is worth more than all the money in the world.” Another man who had failed with visualization, rituals etc. wrote: “With The Lost Word I actually got aid when I needed it. In fact, I’m still getting it.” (photocopies of these actual testimonials available on request.)

It is the one Word the owner of Finbarr International uses when the need presents itself.

The Word brings immediate peace and enlightenment.

It is the one Word that encapsulates cosmic energy. It is the most powerful Word in the Universe and was never revealed – as best we know – before the publication of this monograph.

Use this Word to gain the strength to face any situation.

Use this Word for Divine Revelation.

The origins of the Word are lost in the mists of time.

It was the Name of Power in Ancient Egypt. It was used to speak things into existence.

Humankind merely discovered the Word. It was always there.

The Word BRINGS SAFETY FROM PHYSICAL INJURY. Speak it when you feel threatened. It awakens the protective energies of the Universe.

The Word brings a sharp, immediate increase in mystical consciousness. It awakens psychic powers. It can give you visions of the unknown. I can give you glimpses of the future. It brings healing to the body and peace to the soul.

This monograph explains the Word in four phases. You will learn all you need to know in half an hour reading this monograph. It explains the Construction Of The Word; its Ying Yang, genderless expression of the Cosmos; and the Invocation of Cosmic Energy.

Even if you don’t understand the cosmic principles involved, it doesn’t matter. What matters is speaking the Word.

Speaking the Word can bring results that some describe as “Miraculous.”

If you believe in nothing else in this world then believe in this one Word. It will perhaps do for you what nothing else can. It is the ultimate prayer. It can be spoken anywhere, anytime you need it.

Whatever you seek in life – peace, happiness, love, health, riches – just name it; and for as long as your wish does not violate the Cosmic Law, this Word will bring you nearer to its fulfillment.

THIS IS NOT A GIMMICK.

The author of this monograph is an Adept of the Secret Arts. Initiates confirm its authenticity.

Finbarr is proud to be publisher.

What wonders can it perform for you?

I could’ve written a better (more emotional, rhythmic) ad, but this one from Finbarr still really got me. Due to the low price, it was obviously a lead generation piece designed to draw as many orders out of the publication as possible so the company could add names to their house file and make their profit on the back-end follow-up sales (something Finbarr is exceptional at, by the way).

So I made out an envelope, wrote my check, and shipped it off to Folkestone, Kent England to let Finbarr know I wanted The Lost Word of Power.

A couple weeks later, I get this little brown envelope in the mail stamped from Deutsche Post.

The Lost Word of Power had arrived.

Silly as it may seem, my girlfriend’s words of warning and my friend Jason’s classic doubt (as in “uhhh, I don’t know about this, Greg”) haunted me. For a long time, I just sortof put the thing up on my shelf and never really looked at it.

And there it lay. For over a year.

Then one day as I stocked my bookshelves after moving to St. Louis in August 2007, the little brown envelope slipped out of a stack of papers, bringing me face-to-face with The Word.

By this time, I was no longer with Christine and my and Jason’s attitudes about a lot of things “spiritual” had changed so drastically… I figured “what the hell”, pulled out the little pamphlet, and sunk into my big fluffy black leather couch to read.

It begins by explaining how the Lost Word is in fact a mantra, consisting of male and female vowel sounds, and is thus the ideal expression of the dual energy called “nous”, which is apparently the force of all creation.

Then it quotes John 1:1,3 -

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God… All things were made by Him; and without Him was not anything made that was made.”

I think this is used to at least partially explain why the ancient Egyptian priests used the Word to “speak things into existence.” …or, so they say.

It goes on to explain how the mantra represents the logos; the cosmic energy out of which all creation came. The principles concerning the dymanics of this energy “rest upon the proper use of scientifically constructed vowel sounds.”

Saying this Word is supposed to affect you physically, mentally, and spiritually. By chanting the Word, “an aura, or field of vibration, of very high refinement, is set up around the body of the chanter. This field of vibration has a particular effect on the environment. On the mystical level, the chanter has become attuned to the source of energy itself. This attunement is realized as he is made aware of an increase in the sharpness of his mystical consciousness. Lastly, on the psychological level, the mind is refreshed because of the quickening of the psychic centres.”

Ok, but… is any of this actually real?

THAT is something you’ll have to discover for yourself.

I did some research on possible alternate meanings of the Word and found something similar (but not pronounced the same) in ancient Buddhism linked to a demon who tried to tempt Buddha with visions of a bunch of beautiful women. In Buddhist cosmology, a similar word personifies unskillfulness, and the “death” of the spirtual life by making the mundane alluring, or the negative seem positive.

Weird stuff.

Anyway, the Lost Word of Power is MARA – pronounced as “Mmmaaahhh Rrrraaahhh.” (The A is like the one in “father” – unlike the Buddhist “Mara” pronounced “May-ruh”) In mantra form, it’s supposed to be chanted on the note of A natural, above middle C.

The pamphlet goes on to explain cosmic energy in more depth and provide 2 experiments you can do with the Word to feel its power. On the back page it closes with an omnious warning never to ignore any directives given to you as a result of successfully using the Word – “…this will prove most disappointing” it says.

Do I know what any of this really means? Does any of this have a basis in reality or was it just made up by some random guy a long time ago to mess with people?

There’s a reason I filed this one away in the “Strange and Unknown” section here on my site.

Either way, Finbarr International is one of the most interesting mail order companies I’ve ever seen. They’ve got some good ads too. And since then, I’ve bought a number of their little books for no other reason than just to see what this stuff was all about.

As a copywriter, you always want your ad to have a certain degree of “magic pill” feeling about it. That always sells far better than “cold hard reality” – but there’s a fine line you must walk to never go overboard with magic pill selling so that your ad draws too much attention to itself and becomes “hokey” and unbelievable, or that you’re TOO cautious and lose sales.

So it’s worth studying the works of a company like Finbarr that literally sells magic in most of their products. From what I understand, they’re the largest publisher of their kind in the world.

If you’d like to get on their fascinating mailing list, write to:

Finbarr International
5 Godwyn Road
Folkestone, Kent CT20 2QQ
England

Guaranteed to be some of the most bizarre books you’ll ever see advertised.

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