In related news Sarah Palin says she will return to Twitter as “ShitSarahPalinSays” on Fox.
UPDATE: Intercepted:
FROM SARAH PALIN’S EDITOR AT HARPER COLLINS:

Dear Sarah,

Thank you for turning in the manuscript so quickly. I thought only Stephen King could crank out 400 pages in four months! Seriously, there’s some terrific material here, and all of us at HarperCollins are thrilled to be publishing your life story.

Before we move ahead, the fact-checking department has asked me to pass along a few notes and comments that may require some revisions on your part.

1. Eric Clapton spells his last name with a C. More significantly, his publicists tell us that you were not the inspiration for “Layla,” and that he doesn’t recall ever having an affair with you. Is it possible you’ve got him confused with another rock star?

2. The mainland of Russia is indeed visible from parts of western Alaska during favorable weather conditions in the Bering Strait. Considering the ridicule you endured over this issue during the campaign, your desire to set the record straight is understandable. Still, 78 pages is a big chunk of the book. Perhaps it’s possible to deal with the I-can-see-Russia controversy a bit more succinctly.

3. Our researchers can find no evidence that Tina Fey belongs to the Taliban. Could you send us the sourcing for that reference?

4. John McCain’s campaign staff is vehemently denying the incident you describe in Chapter 13. Perhaps you could provide our legal department with the names of persons who actually witnessed the senator placing the duct tape over your mouth.

5. Even though you quit with 18 months remaining in your term, your achievements as Alaska’s governor will be of great interest to your readers and political supporters. How about expanding that section of the book to a full chapter?

6. On page 107 of the manuscript, you describe a frisky interlude with Todd as taking place on a John Deere Cyclone 340 snowmobile. However, that particular model has been out of production for several years. Is it possible that you two were cavorting on a Sprintfire?

7. Our researchers can find no evidence that Katie Couric is secretly financing the Sunni insurgency in Iraq. Could you send us the sourcing for that reference?

8. Although the passage about moose-shooting from helicopters is certainly provocative, perhaps it could be re-polished to focus more on your cooking recipes — which look very yummy, by the way — than on the preferred field techniques for skinning and gutting.

9. Our copy editors are still struggling to sort out the many colorful characters in your manuscript. In one chapter the children are called Bristol, Piper, Track, Willow and Trig, yet only 44 pages later they appear as Caribou, Cessna, Herring, Juniper and Scrod. Maybe you could check with Todd and get back to us on that.

10. “Mexican” is not a language (see manuscript page 188).

11. Our researchers cannot verify that David Letterman is “heavily involved” in the opium trade in eastern Afghanistan. Could you provide the sourcing for that reference?

12. The details of your high-school basketball career are inspirational, but would it be possible to condense that section from three chapters to one? Just a thought.

13. John McCain’s office says that it was the senator, not you, who came up with the “two mavericks” campaign theme. He claims you originally proposed a slogan saying, “One Creaky Elder Statesman, One Hot Young Maverick — but don’t worry, folks, she knows CPR!”

14. Tony Blair was the prime minister of Great Britain. Tony Orlando is an American pop singer (see manuscript page 341). Our legal department has suggested removing any mention of this young man (including those beer-pong photos) from the manuscript. What do you say?

Finally, on a personal note, I’m sorry you’re having so much difficulty reaching the ghostwriter we assigned to this project. After your first meeting, she left me a rather frazzled message saying she “needed to take a break and do some soul searching.” We’ve tracked her to a sweat lodge down in Taos, New Mexico, and I’m pretty confident she’ll be back on the “Going Rouge” Express in no time.

Meanwhile, keep up the great writing, Sarah. We can’t wait to read the finished book!

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He woke up Friday early knowing he was having a heart attack.

He was only five minutes from a hospital, and in true guy-style, he drove himself to the hospital. (He explained if he would have waited for 911 he would be dead.)

Things he heard that I wouldn’t want to hear while having a heart attack:

• “I’m sorry, this isn’t the emergency entrance, you need to drive around to that entrance.” (hospital employee) But I’m having a heart attack.
• “Then you better hurry.” (same employee)
• “You are dying of a heart attack.” (Chief of Cardiology when Doc had his phone in his hand getting ready to text his wife that he made it to hospital.)
• “You have a 99% blockage of the widowmaker”

…the left anterior descending branch of the left coronary artery… This artery supplies a large part of the heart, particularly the section responsible for pumping oxygenated blood to the rest of the body (left ventricle). The reason it’s earned its name is that blockage of this vessel is a serious emergency that requires acting within minutes and happens more often in males.



• “Oh man, I’m making hamburger out of your heart dude.” (Roto-rooter operator as he was working to get catheter through blockage.)

What you want to see after a Heart Attack:

• Sudden appearance of lots of arteries on the catheter monitor that were previously invisible because of the blockage.
• Doctors “high-fiving” each other.
• Doc wandering around Sam’s Club five days afterwards.

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Links? I had dozens of them. This would bring dozens and dozens, perhaps even hundreds of new readers here. The blogs I linked to would throw plaques and awards at my feet and write such high praises as to make Jenny blush.  Mental Poo would write about me and not his anal meetup with celery.

3:20 a.m. Sofi, the four pounder began to whine in her crate, which means she missed her 9 o’clock pee. Since the time change, ( and I think somewhat related, the change of life) we are nicely tucked in by 8:30. Not sleeping, but watching the ninth episode of some Law and Order CSI/NCIS Miami program

Sometimes I get up in the middle of the dark, sometimes Nancy gets up. Now that I have hoses at both ends of my body (CPAP blowing in one end and Ice Pack freezing the other) Nancy got up. This bit would have you grasping your sides to keep from busting a gut with laughter as I recalled the time I got the two hoses switched and ended up with massive brain freeze and a knee that Balloon Boy would have fit into.

The rest of the post was jocularity about Derby being uncrated and joining us in bed, which meant Sedona did too. The fact that we are also sleeping with remotes would bring tears to your eyes. Especially when I wrote about the part where Sedona turned on the television and was flipping through channels because she had her elbow on a remote.

I knew you would get tickled when Nancy returned to bed and I asked if she had been shopping. As Gretchen wrote someplace other than her blog.

There are many things which doing online in the dead of night can never lead to anything good (strike that: anything *morally* good), but shopping for drop-dead gorgeous boots on Zappos has got to be chief among them.

Nancy doesn’t usually shop Zappos in the midst of the wee hours – usually it’s Ravelry.

This made me wonder how dogs decide how much volume and frequency of whining is needed at 3:20 a.m. Nooter would be my source. I had the perfect answer. A combination of science and parody that would make Dick Cheney chortle.

OMG, it was just so ROTFLMAO funny.

But after taking Hydrocodone to sleep last night, and not taking any notes, you get this instead.

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And you have wondered the same thing when you are sharing the road with the behemoths of the roadways…
Why aren’t over-the-road trucks more aerodynamic?

Some truck makers and after-market dealers have tried to make the truck more aerodynamic with body panels that knife through the air or swoop it up over the trailer.

But the trailer is the drag, literally!

Just look at all that open space under the bed of the truck to capture the air, causing the truck to work harder to drag the wheels along. Tool boxes and air tanks and fuel tanks are never aerodynamically.

I know the trailers are swapped around and tugged by different trucks, so a driver never knows what he will be hooked up to, but since trailers are made only by a couple manufacturers, why haven’t they invested in some R & D to make units more efficient?

It can’t be that tough to design a trailer that won’t need a trucker to invest in a new hauler to enjoy better efficiency.

Here’s simple and highly effective way to reduce trailer drag by 7.5%. It’s called the Boattail and was tested in Europe.

The fuel savings, which also means a cut in emissions, were realized by the boat tail dramatically reducing the drag caused by the lower-pressure effect that occurs in the wake of a vehicle.

This will significantly reduce my opportunity to bump-draft the trucks on the interstate, so their 7.5% fuel savings will probably be reflected as a 7.5% cost increase to me.

I’ll make the sacrifice.

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