I recently completed Dr Tim Kimmel’s book ‘Connecting Church & Home’.

The book is a strong read that presents compelling truth about how the partnership between church and home is critical to leading a generation of kids to pursue a relationship with their Heavenly Father rather than be swept away by the shifting tide of culture.

Dr Tim Kimmel builds off of his well-known work ‘Grace Based Parenting’ suggesting that an effective church ministry with which a family can partner is one that doesn’t rely upon intellectual knowledge to spur spiritual transformation.  But rather a church that allows grace to frame the bigger pursuit of leading kids into a growing relationship with Christ.

The book is worth the read for any kidmin leader.  I appreciate the simplicity with which Kimmel presents the solution for a stronger partnership between church and home.  It’s challenged me to take time to figure out what my response would be to a parent that asks me to clearly define our approach to partnering with the family.   Though I could muddle my way through the conversation, I admit that if I were in sitting in a coffee shop (as Kimmel presents) across from a parent, what I would describe is not crystal clear enough to pen on a napkin.  I need to fix that.

Although I like what Dr Kimmel has to say, in truth, I wouldn’t put this book in just any parents hand.  Parents may not be the intended audience and this may be a hang up that’s mine to own.  But I believe whatever I put in parents hands today must first capture them with hope.  Hope that God is bigger than the challenges they face.  Hope that His Grace runs deeper than the mistakes they’ve made as a parent.  Hope that where they are today is the right starting point to move closer to Him and begin to invest a relevant, everyday faith in their kids.

I appreciate Dr Kimmel’s perspective and yet another contribution to better equip ministry leaders to make an impact rather than spin their wheels.  You can grab a copy here and read other reviews from more kidmin leaders.

As a leader, have you ever stopped to think about what you believe about those that you lead?

What you believe about their intentions.  Their dreams.  Their desires.

Deep down, what you believe about them influences how you approach them.  It impacts how you lead them.

If you’re in a leadership role, that means God has positioned you to take part in the refining work He is doing in those you lead.  That means He intends to use you to teach, to guide, to shepherd.

Sometimes that teaching or guidance is easy.  It’s not difficult to address and is readily received by the recipient.

Sometimes that teaching or guidance isn’t as easy.  Sometimes the topic is more sensitive and difficult to address.  And isn’t readily received.

In the past I’ve struggled to address difficult situations with those I’ve led. Maybe I’m afraid of how the other will respond.  Maybe I believe I have no place to say anything.  Maybe I believe they don’t want to hear it from me.

Well… they likely don’t want to hear it from me.  Or anyone else for that matter.

But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t hear it.

In fact, scripture is clear that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us so faithfully that He will address issues in our life that get in the way of our relationship with Him.  He will address issues that hinder us from being who He created us to be.

And one of the most important things I can do as a leader is to align myself with that work so those that I lead grow and become more of who God created them to be.

I’ve found that when I have a difficult scenario to lead someone through there is an initial question I have to ask myself.  The question serves as an internal compass for me and keeps my motives focused in the right place.

“Deep down, what do I believe about this person?”

Do I believe they want to be a better parent? a better team mate? a better Christ-follower?

The truth is… I don’t think anyone on my team (staff or volunteer) wakes up in the morning and says, “Man, I wonder how I can really screw up today?”  No.  In fact, I’m convinced that every one of them wakes up in the morning wanting to be better today than they were yesterday.

The bottom line is… if I believe those that I lead want to be better, then I’m quicker to step into the hard conversation.  If I believe that deep down they want to be more of who they were created to be then I hesitate less.  I’m not as hindered by the “what if’s”.

Truly leading others guarantees that you will have hard conversations.  And leading well through hard conversations requires that I examine my own beliefs about that person. And at the end of the day… I’m better served when I’m honest and choose to believe they want to be better.

What do you choose to believe?

Two years ago I bought my oldest son a copy of the Action Bible.

He devoured it.

In fact, all 3 of my kids (2 boys and a girl!) have devoured this book.

As we randomly reference a character or moment in scripture, my kids know the details surrounding that moment because of the Action Bible.

This graphic novel of scripture helps kids see the overarching story in the Bible.  God’s Redemptive Story.

Recently David C Cook has released a few new Action Bible tools.

• Action Bible New Testament
• Action Bible Devotional
• Action Bible Handbook

I spent some time in the devotional.  It’s simple, well-written and gives kids good action steps for application.

I love this series of resources.  For any parent looking for a good devotional for their child or a book they would simply love to read… the Action Bible is a great idea.  You can find out more about the Action Bible series here.  Purchase your copy here.

It’s Picture Day at school today.  So my daughter and I took some extra time in fixing her hair this morning.  As I straightened the mountain of curly locks on her head I asked her about the devotional she read the night before.

Recently we’ve made devotion time part of our kids’ bedtime routine.  For a long time we’ve given them a certain amount of ‘read’ time before lights out each night.  It’s been a great way for them to relax and wind down before bed.

The morning time has never been great for devotion time.  My kids aren’t the easiest people to peel out of bed in the morning so time for Bible reading simply isn’t in the cards.

My 10-year old daughter is going through a devotional created for preteens.  Last night’s devotional was based out of Psalm 139:13-17.

I love this scripture.

And I love how God’s timing is so perfect.

On the cusp of school picture day… the day we are more aware of WHAT we wear, HOW we look and how photogenic we are.  A day we tend to size ourselves up a little more than normal.  A day when girls deep inside are asking themselves, “Am I pretty enough?”… Psalm 139 is well timed.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

The second phrase is the one that gives my pause.  It speaks of a knowledge our soul has but our head may not embrace… unless we choose to.

As I fixed Josie’s hair I talked about what God’s taught me from that scripture.  And there were 3 things I shared with her.

1. Know the Word, so you know the Truth – God’s Word is truth.  And in order to know the Truth, we’ve got to know His Word.  Culture isn’t going to tell us the truth.  In fact, culture wants us to believe a lie.  This makes God’s Word that much more important.
2. Align your thoughts with the Truth – The funny thing about our thoughts is they dictate so much about what we choose to believe and do.    And our thoughts easily gravitate toward how culture defines beauty rather than how God defines beauty.  So we have to intentionally align our thoughts with God’s Truth.  Truth is truth whether we choose to believe it or not.  We may as well choose to believe it.
3. Speak the Truth so your ears hear it – Sometimes your ears just have to hear His Word spoken.  God promises that when He sends His Word out it will accomplish all that He sent it out to do (Isaiah 55:11).  So send His Word out of your mouth and allow it to do in your head & your heart what God wants it to do.

As a mom, I want my daughter to grow up with the ability to see herself through the lens of scripture and not the lens of culture.  I thank God for the ways in which He orders my steps and creates opportunities to sew the seed of Truth in her heart.

Without a doubt, one of my favorite Kidmin artists is Yancy.  Not only does she have an incredible voice but she’s got an incredible heart for leading others to worship Christ.

Yancy released her latest project, Jesus Music Box, last week.  You can catch a glimpse here and order your copy here.

You don’t want to miss this one.

We’ve got some incredible Student Volunteers in our ministry.  Students as young as 6th grade all the way to seniors in high school are critical members of our kids ministry team.  We wouldn’t be as strong without them.

And when I have an audience with my Student Volunteers, there are 3 things I want them to remember:

#1 – Be Present

I mean, really be present with the kids.  Get eye-level with them, smile and let them know that you want to hear all that they have to say.  Play with them, ask about their dog, and tell them about yours.  There is a big difference between you and me.  I remind these kids of their mom.  You are like the big brother/sister that actually plays with them.  This is your chance to be someone’s hero.  So have some fun.

Worship with them.  When they hear you sing, and watch you dance, they’ll join in.  Encourage them with your facial expressions and your words.  Test me in this… I can promise you.  There is NOTHING cooler than engaging a kid in worship.  You want a quick high?  It can’t be beat.

#2 – Be Aware

Safety is monumental when working with kids.  Just because a kid says they WANT to be swung by their feet, doesn’t make it a good idea.

Know the safety processes in your area.  It isn’t just smart… it’s impressive.

#3 – Be Mindful

Not everything that pops into your head should come out of your mouth.  Be careful about what you say and how you say it around kids.  They have this funny ability to repeat what you said about your brother’s ugly nose hairs.  Some things are better left unsaid.

You make kids ministry better.  Not just because you’re fun, but because in this season of your life you have a way of influencing a kid in a way most adults cannot.  Kids see you and they want to walk in your shoes.  They want to follow you.

So be someone worth following.

Leverage this time in your life for something that really matters.  Invest yourself in these kids so they walk away from church knowing that someone important (you) believes in them.

Last week I received the latest copy of K! Magazine. With a K! Mag subscription, you get the best of both worlds. Not only do I get my beautiful, full color, meaty magazine that sits on my desk and makes me look like a well-informed kidmin leader… but I also get my digital version which is the one I actually read.

The March/April issue includes an article from Rob Reinow titled, The Big Problem with Family Ministry.

Admittedly, I had a few false starts with the article.

I always end up reading each issue from cover to cover, but I cannot begin before an initial scan. A quick flip through the pages for a prerequisite preview. A reconnaissance maneuver, really. Just to get the lay of the land. (tmi… i know)

Right off the bat Rob recounts a conversation with his paid youth staff challenging the effectiveness of outreach and discipleship within their ministry model. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go down this road.

Why? Because I have too many specific stories of kids/students that have come to church with a friend and made an eternity-changing decision to follow Christ.

I’ll let you guys read the article and surmise your own conclusions on Rob’s thoughts. I’m not here to advocate or challenge any churches ministry model for evangelism and discipleship. However, Rob’s bit of research with families in his church reveals a model of outreach I would love to multiply within my church community.

After meeting with a handful of new believer’s involved in the student ministry, Rob learned more about their journey to faith. And all of them share a common thread.

• Each student was meaningfully involved with a Christian friends’ family. And that involvement precipitated a faith decision.

In fact, their involvement in this family allowed them to see and experience love, forgiveness, grace and joy.

Rob states,

“The dots began to connect for me. Not only was family discipleship the essential biblical practice for making disciples of the church kids, but for reaching the lost as well!”

Rob’s message hits home with me as my kids get older. With one teen and another close behind, Kyle and I often have kids in our home that do not belong to us. Some of them are Christ-followers. Some are not.

Recently Kyle and I have talked about how we can increase our influence in some of these friends’ lives by simply loving them and allowing them to be a part of our family.

The philosophy sounds simple. But the practice will stretches us.

It means we have to have frank conversations with our kids about…

…being a greater influence on others than they are on us.

…knowing God’s word so they know the truth from the lie.

…loving others regardless of what they choose to believe.

Our role isn’t to ‘convert’ these kids.

Our role is to love them.

And hopefully in the process they encounter Christ and learn what it means to pursue Him.

Volunteer

When I hear people on my volunteer team say something like…

“Well, I’m just a volunteer”

…it makes me cringe inside.

In fact, it bothers me so much I’ve toyed around with changing the name.  I know many kids ministries that refer to their volunteer force as

Worker

Server

Cast Member

Contributor

Oh Glorious Giver of their Time
actually I just made that one up but it could fit nicely on a name tag

In the end… the title Volunteer is one that most people understand.  So it’s the one we use.

But there’s an important clarification to make.

You see, all of us have the choice to invest our time in certain things.  It’s just a question of where we choose to invest it.  Volunteers in kidmin choose to invest their time in kids.

Maybe it’s serving on our Security Team, as a Storyteller, or a Small Group Leader.  No matter how much interaction you have with the kids, your time is invested in kids.

Your time is invested in creating an environment where they are safe, known, loved, encouraged, challenged, inspired, awed… by the love and presence of our Heavenly Father.

So, please don’t tell me you are just a volunteer.

You are taking part in the work God is doing within and beyond the walls of the church.

Let me preface this post with two important disclaimers:

#1:  Numbers are NOT my gig.

In fact, my team affectionately refers to my computing skills as “Gina Math”.  It adds up in my head… but not in the real world.

#2:  I’m not expert in Google Spreadsheets or Excel.

Spreadsheets and such are not an extension of my brain.  But despite the handicap, spreadsheets are one of my most treasured tools… especially in a multi-site context.

I use Google Spreadsheets to track attendance in all of our kidmin environments at all campuses.  This includes:

• Number of kids per age group/grade
• Number of adult leaders per age group/grade
• Number of student volunteers per age group/grade
• Number of volunteers per support role
• Previous year’s attendance on that weekend
• Percentage of overall church attendance

I look at different variations of these numbers:

• How many of our total kid attendance was at each service? (i.e. 6pm Sat night sees 18% of our overall kids attendance)
• How many of our volunteer team is at each service? (i.e. Sunday, 10am see 46% of our total vol base)
• How many preschoolers did we see?  How many elementary?  How many two’s, three’s & four’s?
• How many did we average in each age group in a month?  Where did we see a random high?
• How many volunteers do we anticipate we need / How many did we actually recruit / How many actually showed up?
  
• How many new families came?

I need these numbers in order to:

• Know how many volunteers I have/need
• Know where my growth is compared to last year
• Anticipate attendance increases & declines
• Know how much supplies are needed for specific ages

I use Google Spreadsheets rather than Excel because:

• Multiple people can access the spreadsheet via the internet – this makes access easy and convenient.  Sharing an excel spreadsheet means only a single person can input data or it must be housed on a shared server in order to provide access in multiples.
• Multiple people can access the spreadsheet via the internet – did I already say that?  Well… it’s worth saying twice. I like easy.  And this is easy.

When you have multiple campuses, you need simple ways for information from multiple locations to funnel together.  Google Spreadsheets allows us to accomplish that with our attendance numbers.  Each campus location is responsible for recording these numbers each week and I visit each spreadsheet to take a look.  I want to see where our numbers are concentrated, where we can celebrate growth, where we can concentrate on recruiting, etc, etc.

It’s another way for me to gain a snapshot of the health of that campus even though I can’t be there on a weekly basis.

If the campus is consistently averaging 30 kids in 4th/5th grade and only 2 SGLs (Small Group Leaders) then this is an area I need to explore and help find out ways to increase the volunteer team.

If the campus is consistently averaging 8 kids to every SGL in elementary, then I need to dive in, celebrate and find out what they’re doing right!

Tracking numbers allows us a more complete picture of what’s happening in kidmin.

Tracking numbers through Google Spreadsheets allows us to do that with relative ease.

There you go… a peak inside the multi-site kidmin toolbox.

“Mom… Dad…

I want to know if you feel that I’m ready to start dating.

And if you don’t feel that I’m ready, can we talk about what you want to see in me for you to trust me with this?”

It was Wednesday night.  My husband returned home from picking up our teen from youth group.

Kyle knew something was up because of how much time Keegan spent talking with his Small Group Leader after youth group ended.  I received a text message just before the boys arrived home.

“Keegan has something he wants to talk to us about.”

That text left a lot of room for my imagination to wander.  But I didn’t let it.  Keegan’s a pretty level headed kid that is mostly focused on two things… video games & friends.

I wasn’t completely surprised that he would ask about dating.  Though I don’t relish the idea of him stepping into this realm, I also know that it’s part of his progression into young adulthood.

We had a great conversation about what dating can look like at this season in his life, what expectations we have for him, what we want to see in him to know he is mature enough, etc, etc, etc.

But that isn’t what this post is about.  Given that I’m on the cusp of learning how to parent a teen I am NOT the person to dole out advice.

This post is about how the conversation came about.  And the beautiful relationship a student ministry can have with a family when church and home partner together.

You see, Keegan has loved being involved in student ministries at our church.  And over the past two years, he’s had some great Small Group Leaders leading his crazy group of boys every week.  He’s developed a friendship with his leaders and subsequently he trusts them.  He listens and cares about what these men have to say.

So when Keegan knew he had a tough topic to tackle with his parents, he had a safe place to gain advice.

His SGL coached him on what to ask us and how.  He challenged Keegan to respect our decision and where we land on the topic.  He equipped Keegan to initiate a conversation rather than demand an outcome.

So today we’re talking about dating.

Tomorrow there will be tougher conversations to tackle.

But we know we’re not in this alone.  We’ve got other people invested in the process of Keegan learning how to live out his faith.

Keegan’s SGL lives out the value of partnering with the family.  We trusted how he would guide Keegan before this conversation.  We trust him even more now.

One of the best things we can do for our kids is to help them engage in an environment where other Christ-followers have opportunity to influence them, invest in them and help them embrace an authentic, relevant faith.

For all the times I earn a ‘Needs Improvement’ on my “Parenting Report Card”, this is one of those moments I can step back and say… I think I actually did something right this time.