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Our daughters were eight and six years old, in the middle of their second grade and K5 years of school. I’d recently started reading blogs, and since I’ve always enjoyed writing, I decided I’d give blogging a try.

1,286 posts later, I’m sifting through the memories and boxing up the words as I bring an end to Girls to Grow.

Our daughters are 24 and 22 years old now, married to wonderful young men, working and learning and making their mom and dad proud on a daily basis.

By God’s grace, those girls we wanted to grow have grown. We homeschooled and Christian-schooled, depending on the year. We sat through soccer games, basketball games, cheer competitions, piano recitals, choir and band concerts, fine arts festivals, plays, and graduations.

From Sunday morning services to Wednesday night youth group, we were blessed to be a part of a church family. We had a junior year of high school and a freshman year of college cut short because of COVID-19. We’ve sent them off to summer camps and enjoyed family vacations, smiled through tears at college drop-offs, engagements, and weddings.

In looking back, there’s heartfelt gratitude for the people who poured into our kids. The Sunday School teachers, the coaches, the pastors, the Christian school teachers, the parents of their friends – they’re part of who our girls are today.

Then there’s my husband. He’s been the rock in our family, the no-nonsense and no-drama guy the three of us girls need, the one with great wisdom and faith who led – and continues to lead – us so well.

If I’ve learned anything while writing here, it’s that God, His Word, and prayer are the hope and strength we need when it comes to parenting our children. There were rocky teen years, moments of self-doubt and “are we doing this right?” and “will she make it through this?”

It’s not great parenting that makes great kids. Yes, we try our best to follow Biblical principles and love and invest in our precious children. But ultimately, it’s a great God who is gracious in spite of our mistakes, who hears and answers prayers, and who loves those girls more than we do.

Our nest is now officially empty. We’re enjoying this season of life together as husband and wife, grateful that our daughters and son-in-laws live nearby and we can see them often.

And now, as I close the doors here, I’m opening another one. I still want to write, to hopefully encourage and walk alongside other women who want to flourish in faith and family.

So very soon I’ll begin blogging at TraceyBrewer.com. I hope you’ll join me there. (If you pop over there any time soon, it’s a hot mess, aka a work in progress

In the meantime, if you’d like to sign up for my emails, I’ll be sharing more details on how you can receive regular updates when I begin publishing posts on my new site.

And just to be clear, Girls to Grow will continue to live here on the Internet for a while; you can still read and share old posts. I just won’t be adding any new content after today.

Finally, I’m very thankful for all of those who’ve read and commented here over the years. I’ve gotten sweet encouragement from many of you, and I’m so grateful. Wherever you are in growing your girls, your boys, your family, may God richly bless you.

And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;

That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ.

Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God. ~Philippians 1:9-11

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If you’re not familiar with Storyworth, it’s a service that sends you a weekly email with a question designed to inspire you to write down your memories. At the end of the year, it compiles them into a keepsake book.

Our girls know that I like to write, and it’s been fun to see what the new question is each week. It’s taken me back to times and places I haven’t thought about in a while – and also made me realize how little I remember about certain things in the past!

This week’s question was, What are the most important lessons you’ve learned in life? As I mentioned, I like to write so I could have made a really long list! But for their sake, I kept it to four lessons.

Today I thought I’d share that list with you.

Four Life Lessons I’m Passing On To My Daughters

The Number One Lesson I‘ve Learned in Life: God Is Good.

I see this every day, but it was ingrained into my life during our season with Angel. Despite the news that our first daughter had anencephaly and was not going to live for long, if at all, outside of the womb, God showed His goodness and presence through every moment of that trial.

From an amazing OBGYN, Dr. Principe, who scheduled my doctor appointments so that I could wait in a mostly empty waiting room instead of surrounded by expectant moms, to the best labor and delivery nurse, Sandy, who was so kind and comforting, we were surrounded by precious people God put into our lives.

On the day I needed it, after our daughter had been born and we’d named her Angel, He gave me the verse (we put the reference on her tombstone) Exodus 23:20 in my daily Bible reading. “Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared.” Who would have thought I’d found the verse to bring us both comfort in Exodus???

A month later, He opened the door to an amazing job that was perfect for me for the next three years until our next daughter was born. It also led to the part-time work-from-home job that I kept until we moved away from Charleston in 2005. There are too many ways to list in which God showed His goodness through that trial.

Lesson Number Two: Focus on the Major Things, Not the Minor Ones.

Parenting taught me this one, though it’s probably an ongoing lesson I’m still learning and it works in every area of life. Choose your priorities and focus on how you can make those the most important things in life. Put your time and energy and prayers into those things. Not every small “skirmish” has to be won, and not every hill is one to die on.

In parenting, discipline for heart issues like direct disobedience and lying, not for the little things that they’ll likely grow or mature out of. It’s true in marriage as well. I can let the little arguments go as well as the little things that annoy me. I don’t have to say, “I was right,” even when I was.

Lesson Number Three: Pray about everything.

It sounds trite and like what might actually accomplish the least. However, it’s the key to everything that comes along in life. If you can truly release it all to God and trust in the outcome He brings/allows, there’s so much peace.

It’s taken me years to actually feel that, and again, I’m still a work in progress. But knowing that God truly loves me and is in control of all that happens to me is comforting and reassuring.

Lesson Number Four: Agreeing with your husband about dreams and goals for your family helps in every area, especially finances.

If my husband and I agree that trips are important or we prioritize piano lessons for the kids or saving money for retirement, it’s easy for us to work together on budgeting and saving and spending money.

Sitting down and talking about our dreams for our lives and what we want to accomplish gets us on the same page and makes us work as a team with our time and our financial resources to reach our goals.

I’m still learning and growing daily, and am so thankful that God meets us where we are and patiently guides and teaches us as we follow Him.

Related posts:

• 20 Lessons I’ve Learned in 20 Years of Parenting
• 3 Key Things I’ve Learned in 30+ Years of Marriage
• Don’t Be a Fool: 5 Things to Avoid If You Want to Be Wise

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Yesterday I was in Psalm 63 and realized again just how much there is to praise God for!

Here are 5 reasons to praise God from just this one Psalm.

1. God is Our Life-Giving Source (Verses 1-2)

David begins, “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”

Just as water is essential for life, God is our ultimate source of sustenance and vitality. When we recognize Him as the very air we breathe and the strength in our bones, praise naturally flows from a place of deep dependence and gratitude.

2. His Steadfast Love is Better Than Life (Verse 3)

Perhaps one of the most striking declarations in this Psalm is, “Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.”

Think about that for a moment. What could possibly be better than life itself? For David, it was God’s unwavering, faithful, and enduring love.

This profound truth shifts our perspective. If God’s love surpasses even the precious gift of life, then surely it is worthy of our highest praise. It’s a love that sustains, comforts, and redeems, making every moment an opportunity to exalt His name.

3. We Are Satisfied in His Presence (Verses 5-6)

David proclaims, “My soul shall be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth shall praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the night watches.” This speaks to a deep, spiritual contentment that surpasses any physical pleasure.

When we dwell on God, remember His faithfulness, and meditate on His character, our souls are truly satisfied. This satisfaction isn’t fleeting; it’s a profound sense of peace and joy that comes from being in communion with the One who created us. Such deep satisfaction inevitably leads to joyful praise, even in the quiet hours of the night.

4. God Is Our Helper and Refuge (Verse 7)

“Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.” Here, David acknowledges God’s active role as his helper. He sees God as a protective refuge, like a mother bird sheltering her young under her wings.

When we reflect on the countless times God has intervened on our behalf, provided guidance, and offered protection, our hearts overflow with gratitude. This recognition of His constant presence as our helper and refuge inspires us to praise Him for His unwavering support through every trial.

5. Our Soul Clings to Him (Verse 8)

Finally, David declares, “My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” This verse beautifully illustrates a personal and intimate relationship with God.

“Clinging” implies a desperate and persistent hold, acknowledging our complete reliance on Him. And the assurance that His “right hand upholds me” speaks of His power and faithfulness in sustaining us.

When we realize that it is God Himself who holds us up, who gives us strength and keeps us from falling, our response can only be one of profound adoration and praise for His steadfast care.

Psalm 63 reminds us that praise isn’t just for the good times. It’s born out of a deep longing for God, a recognition of His surpassing love, the satisfaction found in His presence, His faithful help, and His constant upholding power.

May these points from Psalm 63 inspire you to offer heartfelt praise to God, no matter where you find yourself today.

Related posts:

• How to Pray a Prayer of Praise to God
• 10 Simple Verses from Psalms to Inspire Your Praise Life
• How to Praise God: Lessons from Women in the Bible

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Our daughters turned it into a lighter conversation by starting to point out pieces of furniture or book collections that they want to inherit one day. Thankfully, they did say that they’d rather have us here with them than to have our stuff!

We’re all going to leave a legacy of some sort when we die. So what type of legacy will that be?

Today, we’re exploring the final lesson in our “what’s better” series. (The first four lessons are linked at the end of this post.)

Here’s the question we’re answering for Lesson 5. What’s better? A good reputation or an expensive gift?

We find the answer in Ecclesiastes 7:1.

A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth.

At first glance, this might seem an odd comparison. What does a good reputation have to do with expensive perfume?

In biblical times, “precious ointment” (or “fine perfume” in many translations) was a highly valued commodity. It was used for anointing, for personal grooming, for special occasions, and even in burial rituals. Its fragrance was luxurious, a symbol of wealth, status, and pleasure. It was something tangible, immediate, and undeniably pleasant to the senses.

But the Preacher, the author of Ecclesiastes, understood something deeper. He knew that the most exquisite scent, however delightful, is ultimately fleeting. It dissipates, leaving no lasting impression. A good name, however, is a different kind of fragrance.

The Enduring Aroma of Character

A good name isn’t about the label on your birth certificate. It’s about your reputation, the sum total of your character, your integrity, and how you conduct yourself in the world. It’s built brick by brick, through consistent actions, honest dealings, and a commitment to what is right.

Consider the contrast:

• Expensive Ointment:
  • External: It’s applied to the surface, covering rather than transforming.
  • Temporary: Its fragrance fades, and it must be continually reapplied.
  • Superficial: It speaks to luxury and outward display.
  • Accessible to Few: Only those with means could afford the finest.

• A Good Name:
  • Internal: It stems from genuine character, from who you truly are.
  • Enduring: A good reputation can last a lifetime and even beyond, a legacy that transcends death.
  • Substantive: It speaks to trustworthiness, respect, and influence.
  • Accessible to All: Rich or poor, anyone can cultivate integrity and earn a good name.

The Preacher’s point is clear: true worth isn’t found in what we possess or how we appear on the outside, but in the kind of person we are on the inside. A good name, earned through righteous living and a genuine heart, creates a lasting “fragrance” in the lives of others. It impacts relationships, opens doors, and builds trust in a way that no material possession ever could.

Living for a Lasting Legacy

In our modern world, where social media often prioritizes image over substance, and quick fame can overshadow enduring character, the message of Ecclesiastes 7:1 is more relevant than ever. What kind of “aroma” are we leaving behind? Are we chasing the fleeting scent of external validation, or are we investing in the rich, deep, and lasting fragrance of a good name?

Let’s strive to live in such a way that our name, our reputation, becomes a testament to integrity, kindness, and faithfulness. For in the end, it’s not the cost of our possessions, but the character of our lives that will truly define our legacy.

What type of legacy will you leave? It’s great for our children to inherit a healthy 401K, but let’s also make sure we focus on building our reputation.

Related posts:

• Lesson 1: Obedience or Sacrifice?
• Lesson 2: God’s Word or $10 Million?
• Lesson 3: Small Dinner or Huge Meal?
• Lesson 4: Self-Control or Ruling a City?

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Perhaps today we could be elected mayor of a city, but I don’t know if it would have the same feel.

You’d have to be strong to take a city, mighty. But it takes an even stronger person than that to control their anger.

 We’ve been studying the word “better” in the Bible. Proverbs 16:32 gives us our lesson for today. (Scroll down to the end of this post for links to the previous three lessons.)

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

Self-control, or a lack thereof, shows up in many areas of life.

We live in a world that often celebrates the strong, the quick, and the victorious. From boardroom battles to athletic championships, the emphasis is almost always on who comes out on top. But what if true strength isn’t about crushing your opponents or achieving rapid success? What if it’s about something far quieter, far more enduring?

Proverbs 16:32 offers a profound counter-cultural perspective:

Think about the “mighty” – those who conquer cities, wield significant influence, or possess immense physical strength. Their power is often external, a force exerted upon the world. We admire their achievements, their ability to dominate.

But the proverb suggests something more valuable. To be “slow to anger” is to possess incredible internal strength. It’s about self-regulation, emotional intelligence, and a deep understanding of one’s impulses. In a world increasingly prone to snap judgments and heated reactions, the person who can pause, reflect, and choose a measured response is a rare and valuable commodity.

And what about “he who rules his spirit“? This goes even deeper. Taking a city requires strategic planning, resources, and often, an act of force. It’s an external victory. But controlling your spirit? That’s an internal conquest, a continuous battle fought within the confines of your own mind and heart.

This kind of mastery is far more challenging and, ultimately, far more impactful. It means:

• Resisting impulsive reactions: Not lashing out when frustrated, hurt, or angry.
• Practicing patience: Allowing circumstances to unfold without demanding immediate gratification.
• Exercising wisdom: Choosing the long-term good over short-term gratification.

Proverbs 16:32 forces us to redefine what “better” truly means. It’s not about:

• Instant gratification: The quick win often fades.
• Dominating others: True leadership inspires, it doesn’t merely command.
• External achievements alone: A king who conquers a city but cannot control his own temper is ultimately weaker than the person who masters their inner world.

Instead, “better” is about:

• Stronger relationships: Built on understanding and respect, not volatile reactions.
• Greater wisdom: The ability to navigate life’s challenges with composure and foresight.
• True freedom: The freedom from being enslaved by our own emotions and desires.

Ellicott’s commentary on this verse says, “For victory over self is the hardest of all victories.”

Looking for a hero? Find a person who’s allowing the Holy Spirit to develop self-control in his or her life. Because patience is better than power.

Here are the first three lessons in our “what’s better” series.

• Lesson 1: Obedience or Sacrifice
• Lesson 2: God’s Word or $10 Million
• Lesson 3: Small Dinner or Huge Meal

The post What’s Better? Lesson 4: Self-Control or Ruling a City appeared first on Girls To Grow.

When we were younger, we liked places that served large portions. Those were the days when we could consume a lot of calories and not notice it the next day

But these days, we appreciate a really delicious entree that’s a smaller size. Quality over quantity, if you will.

Here on the blog, we’re in the middle of a series where we’re looking at verses in the Bible that tell us which is the better of two choices. (Lesson 1 is here; lesson 2 is here.) We find today’s “What’s Better” question and answer in Proverbs 15:17. It deals with choosing a small dinner or a huge feast.

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

Think about sitting down to a simple, plain meal. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich? A blue box of macaroni and cheese? Around the table is a family, and everyone is taking turns talking about their day, asking questions, and telling jokes.

Now switch to a table that’s elegantly set with fine china and crystal. Platters of filet mignon, lobster, and colorful organic fruits and vegetables sit in the center. On the sideboard is an array of delicious-looking desserts. But the people around the table aren’t speaking. Unsmiling and staring down at their plates, you can feel the tension in the air.

Which table would you rather be at?

Making the better choice here seems easy to me. It’s the quality of the relationships, not the quality or quantity of the food that’s important. Simple things are joyful when they’re shared with love, when each person feels valued and cherished. While the food may be basic, the experience is rich, nourishing not just the body but the soul.

An extravagant feast of abundance with conflict or jealousy is hard to enjoy. Perhaps there’s an unresolved argument, a strained relationship, or a general sense of bitterness. No matter how exquisite the food, the tension and negativity poison the atmosphere, making the meal unpalatable and the experience unpleasant. The “stalled ox” loses all its allure when served with a side of hatred.

What if true joy lies not in what we possess, but in how we connect with others?

This verse reminds us that healthy, loving relationships are far more valuable than any material wealth. A modest life filled with genuine connection will bring more joy and fulfillment than a life of luxury marred by conflict and isolation.

It encourages us to find contentment in what we have, especially when it’s shared with those we love. We don’t need elaborate possessions to experience true happiness; often, it’s the simple moments of connection that leave the most lasting positive impressions.

So, the answer is clear. Pass the herbs! But how can we actively embrace this wisdom in our daily lives?

• Cultivate loving relationships: Invest time and effort in nurturing your connections with family and friends. Practice forgiveness, communicate openly, and show appreciation.
• Prioritize peace over possessions: When faced with choices, consider the impact on your relationships and inner peace. Is acquiring more worth sacrificing harmony?
• Foster a positive environment: In your home and interactions, strive to be a source of encouragement, understanding, and joy. Address conflicts with a desire for reconciliation, not victory.
• Find gratitude in simplicity: Appreciate the small, everyday blessings, especially those shared with loved ones.

In a world that constantly beckons us to desire more, Proverbs 15:17 is a powerful anchor. It reminds us that we don’t find the greatest riches in material abundance but in the priceless treasure of love. So, whether your next meal is a gourmet feast or a simple sandwich, let it be seasoned with love, for that is where true nourishment lies.

The post What’s Better? Lesson 3: Small Dinner, Huge Meal? appeared first on Girls To Grow.

This feels like something older people do (we are older people!), but a couple of times, my husband and I have played Bingo on a cruise ship. He won a t-shirt once, but that’s the extent of our winnings! No cash prizes or free future cruises for us.

Today we’re on lesson 2 of our series about making the better choice according to the Bible. (You can check out lesson 1 here.)

People will do a variety of things to win some money. We’ve probably all seen highway billboards about how much you can win in the latest lottery jackpot. There are plenty of get-rich-quick schemes and scams that take advantage of people’s desire to be wealthy.

So, which one of these choices is better? $10 million or God’s Word?

I realize that a million dollars doesn’t go as far as it once did. But $10 million invested wisely? You could spend and give to your heart’s content, at least for quite a while.

Bigger house? Brand new car? Two-week vacation in Hawaii? A Louis Vuitton handbag? Large contribution to your favorite charity? All yours.

And then there’s the Bible. God’s love letter, His written Word to mankind. Full of wisdom, direction, and encouragement. The story of creation, man’s fall, God’s plan for our redemption, and tiny glimpses into an eternal home in Heaven.

So, which is better? Psalm 119:72 answers that for us.

The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver.

The author of this Psalm, inspired by God, says that God’s Word is better than piles upon piles upon piles of gold and silver.

Most, if not all, of us would happily accept $10 million. But we all know that there are things money can’t buy.

Peace.

Contentment.

Love.

Joy.

Honest, healthy relationships.

The love of God.

Forgiveness of sin.

Heaven.

But getting to know God through the Word that He’s given us can provide us all of that and so much more.

May we take that truth today and apply it to our lives. How much time do we spend on money – earning it, spending it, saving it – and how much time do we spend in our Bible?

Let’s make the better choice.

Come back next week for Lesson 3!

The post What’s Better? Lesson 2: God’s Word or $10 Million appeared first on Girls To Grow.

I tend to compare a lot regarding food, whether it’s restaurants, food items, or recipes. Fried green tomatoes? This restaurant has the best ones I’ve had in a long time. Ice cream? Tillamook is our preferred brand (especially when it’s BOGO at Publix Beef enchiladas at home? This recipe’s been the easiest and tastiest for a long time.

Sometimes I hear something on a podcast or in a sermon, and I take the thought in a totally random direction for my own personal study.

That’s what happened recently with the word “better.” I decided to deep dive into all the verses where we find the word “better.” If the Bible compares two things and tells us which one is better, then I want to make sure I’m choosing that one in my life.

I’ve put together five lessons from passages where we find the word “better.” Today, let’s answer the question, what’s better in God’s eyes? To obey him or to bring him a sacrifice?

Honestly, obedience seems boring. Anyone can be obedient…if they choose to. It just means doing what you’re told to do, following commands, doing your duty consistently.

But sacrifice? When I bring a sacrifice, I can shine. I can make a big deal, a show, out of giving something valuable to God. I can even give my stuff away to others as my sacrifice, and they can see how great I am.

Can sacrifice with correct motives and a pure heart be an act of worship to God? Absolutely. Old Testament saints brought the best they had and offered it to God with praise and thanksgiving.

So, which one does God say is better? 1 Samuel 15:22 tells us.

And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

So God wants my obedience more than my sacrifice? Yes. As Samuel tells King Saul, to obey is better than sacrifice.

Obedience is submitting to authority. It’s recognizing who God is and choosing to do what His Word says, responding in love and faith to his will as best as we know how.

Is it also good to sacrifice, to give up something as an act of worship or service to God? Yes, it is. In fact, we should be willing to sacrifice anything – our desires, our possessions, even our bodies as living sacrifices – for the One who has given us eternal life through his Son.

But what’s better? The simple act of obedience, faithfully following what God tells us to do in His Word.

I’ll guess that you already knew the answer to the question when we started! But check back soon for Lesson 2, and together we’ll decide which one of two choices is better.

The post What’s Better? Lesson 1: Obedience or Sacrifice appeared first on Girls To Grow.

Inevitably, the trading would begin. We traded based on our favorite teams and the most popular players. I feel like my brothers probably had a little pity on me and made fair trades most of the time. I don’t know if they had the same courtesy between themselves!

Whenever we make some sort of trade, we want to feel like we came out at least even or maybe got the better end of the deal. Today, we’re talking about a trade that will always make us a winner.

What thoughts are you struggling with today? Is there a problem you’re facing that’s crowding your mind? Here are some examples.

I’m all alone.

I’ll never get through this.

I don’t know what to do next.

I’m so worried about this relationship/financial issue/health crisis.

My grief is overwhelming.

I’m afraid.

When these thoughts – and others like them – creep in, we need to make a trade. We need to trade our thoughts for God’s thoughts.

Feeling all alone? God’s thoughts ~ I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

Worried or anxious? God’s thoughts ~ Be careful for nothing, pray about everything, my unexplainable peace will keep your heart and mind. Philippians 4:6-7

Feeling defeated, like you can’t overcome what you’re facing today? God’s thoughts ~ You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you. Philippians 4:13

Don’t know what to do next? God’s thoughts ~ Trust in me with all your heart, don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge me, and I’ll direct your path. Proverbs 3:5, 6

Carrying grief or broken-hearted? God’s thoughts ~ I am nigh unto those that are of a broken heart; and save those who have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18

Fearful? God’s thoughts ~ I haven’t given you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

I think you get the idea. As soon as you notice a thought that’s pulling you away from God’s truth, grab your Bible. Find a verse that addresses that thought. Write it down and put it where you can see it. Maybe you need to read it aloud to yourself several times.

Trade your thought for God’s thought. Picture yourself taking your own thought, balling it up, and throwing it in the trash. Hang on to God’s thought, to truth from His Word.

We will always win spiritually when we trade our thoughts for God’s thoughts!

(A special thanks to my husband for inspiring this post with his Sunday School lesson this week

Related posts:

• How to Make Our Words and Thoughts Pleasing to God
• 4 Defeating Thoughts and How to Overcome Them
• When Your Faith Wavers, Turn Around and See

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