First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both to blame: if you cheated on him, maybe it was because he wasn't giving you what you needed, so you looked somewhere else; if he cheated on you, maybe you weren't giving him what he needed. This is an oversimplification, and I'm not saying that the cheater can totally blame their cheating on the other person, but the fact is, it takes two to tango.

So, it's important to forgive and forget. And remember, true forgiveness can't happen unless you also forget; if you don't forget, then you're still holding onto it, and why would you do that unless it was so that you could use it as a weapon later? You have to let go of whatever happened, and any anger that you're holding onto about what happened. Never bring it up again. Never let it be a part of your relationship again.

If you can't forgive and forget, even if you do get back with your ex, it probably won't last very long.

If you were the one who was at fault, apologize, and mean it. Too often, after someone says they're sorry, there's an "Oops! I did it again!" moment. But let's face it; you're not Britney Spears. It's not cute anymore. When you say you're sorry, commit to changing; otherwise, you don't really mean it.

Be ready to chase him a bit. This doesn't mean texting him over and over or stalking him, but you have to show that you're still interested. You can't expect him to come running back to you just because you sent out some half-hearted signal that you're ready to get back together; you have to be ready to swallow your pride and put your heart on the line.

And be prepared to settle for something less than what you're hoping for; maybe he's only ready to be "just friends". It will probably take some time for him to rebuild his trust in you. If that's the case, you need to give him his space. Take what he's offering right now and show him that he can trust you again.

Finally, you have to know when it's time to give up. It may be that he just won't be able to forgive you, and you'll have to recognize that. At this point, the best thing you can do is forget about getting back with him and move on with your life. While it may seem heartbreaking at the moment, it may turn out to be the best thing that ever could have happened to you. Only time will tell.

And remember: whatever went wrong with this relationship, your true soul mate is still out there; working too hard on getting back with your ex may prevent you from meeting him!

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Get Back With Your Ex: A Woman’s Guide To Making Up

First things first: Stay calm. Be relaxed. Don't do anything that will make you appear desperate or needy because your ex will only find this to be a big turn-off.

To get into a calm, relaxed place, you need to take some time away from the drama of the breakup. Lots of people don't take time to cool off after a breakup and instead just start chasing after their ex, trying to convince them to come back.

Bad move. Chances are that chasing after your ex this way is only going to make them run away even faster. Be smarter than most people: take some time. Cool off. Relax.

As you're taking this time, concentrate on things that make you feel good about yourself and keep your spirits up. Go out with your friends and having some fun. This may be the last thing you feel like doing, but you'd be amazed how much of a difference this one step can make to your prospects of getting back with the one you love.

Also, take care of yourself physically: if you exercise regularly and eat well, you'll feel better about yourself, you'll be less depressed, and you'll have a better attitude about what you're going through.

You don't have to go to the gym if that's not your thing; just find what works for you and stick to it. It could be as simple as a daily walk, or joining a sports league, or just playing with your kids. As long as it gets you up on your feet and gets your blood pumping, it'll do you some good.

And don't forget to eat right: it's easy to fall into bad habits where food and drink are concerned; skipping meals, eating junk, drinking too much... Don't go there. It might make you feel better momentarily, but it will ruin your chances of getting your ex back.

These are the beginnings of a proven plan to get your ex back. The Magic of Making Up System will give you the complete plan.

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How To Get An Ex Back When…

You see, Amy's friend Jill told her that her boyfriend, Ken, had been sleeping with another woman. And without even checking Jill's story out, or simply asking him about it, Amy confronted Ken and accused him of sleeping around. This took Ken totally by surprise because he actually wasn't sleeping around, and he didn't react very well to the accusation.

They got into a big argument, and Amy dumped him.

Later, Amy found out that Jill had just made the story up to see if she could stir things up. Now Amy was in a tight spot; she wanted to get Ken back, but she was the one who dumped him! She called Ken and explained what Jill had done and said she was sorry, but Ken was in no mood to even talk to her; Amy had hurt him too much by not trusting him and dumping him the way she did.

How could she get him back when he felt this way?

First of all, Amy wrote Ken a long letter. In it, she took total responsibility for what happened and promised it would never happen again. She reminded him that they had a long history and that they'd shared some great times. She said that she couldn't bear the thought of throwing that all away.

She admitted that she acted the way she did out of jealousy, because she loved him and couldn't stand the thought of him being with another woman. She didn't mention Jill again, or try to blame anyone else for her mistake.

After she mailed that letter, she left him alone: she didn't text him or call him. She figured that he needed his space. And she was right; if she'd kept after him at that point, it probably would've pushed him further and further away.

When she did run into Ken, she didn't mention wanting to get back together, but she managed to remind him of some of the good times they'd had together. She also didn't apologize again; she'd already apologized, both in person and in writing, and she didn't want to remind him of her mistake.

One day, she managed to get tickets for Ken's favorite band, which was in town for one night only, and she invited him to go with her, "just as friends." He agreed, and they went and had a great time. After the show, they went their separate ways, but she knew she'd made progress; they went out, they had a good time, and she left it at that.

Ken and Amy did eventually get back together: by reminding him of the good times they'd shared, and not crowding him, she was able to build his trust again, and their relationship actually became stronger than ever.

Obviously, there was a lot more to the story than what I've written here, and Amy actually had help: she picked up a copy of "The Magic of Making Up System" and it showed her, step by step, how to win him back.

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Getting Your Ex Back When You’re the One Who Dumped Him

Look good, feel good.

It's easy to let yourself go when you're feeling down; you eat junk food, you don't do the laundry, and your stop going to the gym. You may be surprised how easy it is to pile on the pounds in just a couple of weeks of letting yourself go this way.

You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back in the game: go to the gym, eat right, take care of your appearance. You're not going to get her back by looking like a slob.

Get out and enjoy yourself.

It won't necessarily hurt your chances of getting your ex back if you casually date another girl. Remember, you're not actually in a relationship with your ex any more, even though you want to be, and until you get her back, you're a free agent.

But don't go out with some other girl just to make your ex jealous; that's not going to get you anywhere. And if your ultimate goal is to get back with your ex, make it clear to the new girl that you're just interested in having some fun and nothing more.

Put things into perspective.

Don't kid yourself about what went wrong; you need to be honest with yourself if you hope to patch things up. It takes two to make a relationship work, and it takes two to mess a relationship up; make sure you accept your part in the break up and be ready to make amends.

Ask her to talk about it.

When you're feeling better and you've thought it all through, and you believe you have an honest perspective on what went wrong, make contact with her and see if she wants to talk about it. Don't push; just spend a couple of minutes seeing where she's at and whether she seems open to talking to you.

Depending on how she reacts to this initial contact, you either ask her to get together and talk things out, or you back off and give her some more time.

What to do next?

What to do next is a whole book all by itself, and if you really want to have the edge, you should get "The Magic of Making Up System"; it is the whole book, and it's helped lots of guys in the same boat you're in right now. Check it out.

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How To Get Your Girlfriend Back

What you really need is a plan that's proven to work, and then you have to put that plan into action. To get you started:

The first thing you have to do is stay away from your ex.

Don't call him, don't e-mail him, don't go looking for him so you can talk to him face-to-face. You both need time and space to begin to look at the situation objectively. Take this time to concentrate on your own needs; this will be a very stressful time, and you have to take care of yourself first.

Then, make a serious effort to reconnect with family and friends.

One of the worst things you can do at a time like this is to isolate yourself; your family and friends can help you get through this period. It's important to have people around you so you're not sitting home alone, obsessing over the breakup, or obsessing over your ex boyfriend.

Ask your family and friends what they thought was wrong with your relationship.

Your boyfriend probably told you what he thought was wrong with the relationship, and I'm sure you have your own ideas on what went wrong and why, but sometimes it takes an outside observer to give you an objective appraisal of a situation. It doesn't mean that they're right, it doesn't mean that you're wrong; it just means that they can be more objective than you or him.

Now, spend some time considering what your family and friends have said.

Decide which parts of what they said can help you, and which parts you can safely ignore. You're going to agree with some of what's been said, and you're going to disagree with some of it. In the end, the choice is yours: you started out wanting to get your boyfriend back; is that still what you want? Maybe your friend's and family's input has given you reason to doubt that.

Whichever it is, get clear on what you want before you make your next move.

If you've decided that you still want to get your boyfriend back, then your next step should be to put together a plan of action and follow it, step by step. If you're not sure how to make a plan to get him back, you might want to check out "The Magic of Making Up System"; it's worked for lots of other people, maybe it will work for you, too.

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How To Get Your Boyfriend Back

Be nice to him.

This should probably go without saying, but some people think that nagging is the best way to get what they want. It's not; if you nag him, you'll only remind him of the things about you that he wanted to get away from. If you make him feel uncomfortable whenever he's around you, you'll only end up driving him further away.

Be as nice as you can whenever you're around him, unless the only way to do that is to be totally phony. And if you have to be phony to be nice to him, you have to wonder: do you really want him back?

Here are some other common questions that I hear:

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend?

This is a tough one: not only are you going to have a hard time getting him alone if he's with someone else, but even if you do, he's probably focused on his new relationship. But remember, most "rebound relationships" don't last very long, and the reason for that is that the person who is on the rebound ends up getting back with their ex.

This is why it's specially important to be nice to him right now; you want him to see how nice you really are, so he can start to realize what he's missing by not being with you any more.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by tricking him?

No matter what kind of trick you're thinking about, even if it doesn't seem particularly bad, forget about it right now. Even the most innocent-seeming trick, lie, or exaggeration could backfire on you later.

What's the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him again a short time later because he found out that you lied to him or tricked him into getting back with you?

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?

Maybe, but it could also backfire by making him think that you've moved on, and if you want to get back together with him, that's probably not what you want him to think.

If you meet somebody, and you feel like dating them, then go ahead. But don't do it if you're just doing it to make your ex jealous; that's not fair to any of you.

Be very careful if you're considering using some kind of a game — whether trickery, or lies, or trying to make him jealous — to get your ex back; these kinds of games almost always backfire.

Be honest with yourself, and with your ex, and you'll have a much better chance of getting back together.

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Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my "sensitive side"?

There's no guarantee that this will get you back together, but it probably wouldn't hurt; show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are that you're apart. One great way to show your "sensitive side" is to buy a blank card and write your own verse in it. It doesn't have to rhyme (in fact it's better if it doesn't); it just has to honestly express how you feel.

I guarantee you that this will go a lot further towards winning her back than buying one of those sentimental hallmark cards with the sappy love poem and signing your name to it.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful?

Were you thoughtful during the relationship? If you rarely did thoughtful things during your relationship (or you only did them at the beginning), she may doubt the sincerity of the thoughtful things you do now. Be patient, and keep doing working at it. Don't get frustrated because she's not "getting it". A thoughtful person is — by definition — a person who does thoughtful things: if you keep doing thoughtful things, she will come to see you as a thoughtful person.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?

If it's been a long time, and you're still doing thoughtful things for her and she doesn't seem to be responding, a casual date will probably do you some good, and it may make her wish she was the one you were going out with. But do yourself (and the other woman) a favor and don't go out with somebody else just to get your ex's attention or make her jealous; that's not fair to any of you.

And be careful; don't rub her face in the fact that you're going out with someone else, or it will probably backfire on you. It's best not to let her see you out with someone else, or to mention it to her yourself, or to do anything overtly to make sure she knows about it. If she's interested, she'll find out somehow, and then she can make a more rational decision on how to react to it.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a new boyfriend?

The odds are against it, but if she believes that she'll be happier with you than with the new boyfriend, you have a better chance (being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her this). Even if it seems hopeless, you shouldn't give up; a lot of "rebound" relationships are very short-lived (and the reason for that, a lot of times, is that the person on the rebound ends up going back to their ex).

One other thought before I close this: if you're a guy, you may feel better if you have a step by step plan in place to get your girlfriend back. Along those lines, you'll see a banner just below here, and a book cover to the right; clicking on either of those (or on the text link that's coming up here in a second) will take you to a site where you can check out "The Magic of Making Up"; this is a step-by-step system that really does work like magic (and it's 100% guaranteed, so you've got nothing to lose by checking it out).

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Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

For instance, one pretty sure sign that a breakup is coming is a sudden change in the amount of physical contact between you and your partner. I'm not talking just about sex here (although, if your partner suddenly stops being interested in sex altogether, that's a pretty good sign that a breakup is coming); in the normal flow of relationship, there will be times when there's lots of sex and times when there isn't much at all. That's normal.

The kind of sudden change in physical contact I'm talking about is like if your partner suddenly stops holding your hand for no reason, when they always held your hand before. Or if they stop putting their arm around your shoulders at the movies, or when you're walking together, if they always did that before.

Any time there's a sudden change in the amount of physical contact (outside of the bedroom), especially when your partner was always physically affectionate in that way before, it could indicate a problem.

And if it goes beyond not touching you, to them not wanting you to touch them, then you should probably have a talk. Now, you can't just assume that because your partner flinched away from you one time that there's a problem; lots of things could make them feel like not wanting to be touched at any given moment:

• They might've been thinking of something else and been surprised, or startled, by your touch.
• Or they might interpret your touch to me that you think it's time to have sex, especially if you're not normally physically affectionate except when you want to be intimate. If that's the case, and they're not in the mood right now, their natural physical reaction will be to flinch away from you. This doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem.
• They could even simply not be feeling well.

Remember, just because there's an occasional change in their behavior doesn't mean that they're getting ready to break up with you, or even that there's anything wrong with the relationship; you have to pay attention to their behavior over time: if they start to avoid touching you, or constantly flinch away from your touch, then there may be a problem.

There are certainly other signals that could mean there's a breakup coming, but the key is to pay attention to patterns of behavior; if you notice a major shift in their behavior or attitude towards you, and it goes on for a long time, you need to sit down and talk about it. If it's nothing to worry about, you'll know that after you talk.

And if it is something you should be worried about, getting it out in the open is the first step to fixing it.

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How To Avoid Breaking Up

It's super-important to move past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem darkest. As Winston Churchill once said:

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

Getting over the pain of a breakup can be difficult, especially if you feel you have no one to turn to, but people have been dealing with this kind of pain, all by themselves, for a very long time. And although it might seem impossible at first, you'll get over the pain, too.

But you have to deal with it the right way.

First of all, you have to want to get over it. Wallowing in the pain you're feeling is not going to help you get over it; you have to look ahead and actually want to get on with your life.

Spend time with your friends and family; let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.

Don't focus on the pain; that will only prolong it. Focus on the things that are going right in your life right now (if you look for them, you'll find them. Make an effort to find at least one thing you can be grateful for every day).

And don't isolate yourself; spending time with your friends and family will be very helpful to you right now. Doing things you enjoy, with people that you enjoy being with, will help you get your mind off of the past, and your pain. And the more time you spend in the present (instead of the past), the more you'll see that life is worth living, and you'll just naturally want to get on with it.

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Dealing With A Break Up

Most relationships follow a predictable pattern; when you first meet, everything is wonderful: they can do no wrong in your eyes, and you can do no wrong in theirs. After you've been together for a while, you start to get used to each other. The newness is gone, and things start to change: the little quirks you thought were charming at the beginning actually start to bother you now.

There's an old expression, "Familiarity breeds contempt." This is certainly true of most relationships. After you start to get comfortable with each other, that's when the trouble begins. This is what tests the strength of a relationship; it takes work to get through this period of starting to see the other person's faults and maintain the relationship anyway.

And sometimes, instead of wanting to work on it, one or the other of you just wants to get out of the relationship completely. If it wasn't you that wanted to get out, and you think your relationship is worth saving, then you'll have to do some work to get your ex back. Here are four easy steps you can take:

Say, "I'm Sorry."

Saying you're sorry is one of the best things to do when you're trying to get your ex back. But be sure that you're saying you're sorry for the right things; after a breakup, it's easy to blame yourself for everything, but remember: it takes two to make a successful relationship. And it takes two to break one.

And when you're saying you're sorry, don't let your ex bait you into fighting with them; if you say you're sorry about something, and your ex brings up some other issue, don't get defensive; stay calm, stay cool, stay on point.

Talk Things Out

If your ex is up to it, set a time when you can sit down together and talk things out. Whatever you do, don't beg, plead, or otherwise try to force your ex into this; if they don't want to talk, just go to the next step. If they do agree, be prepared to keep your emotions in check; this is not the time to get into a fight. Make it clear to them that you have no desire to assign blame with this discussion.

The idea is to talk about the issues objectively; you should both agree beforehand to be objective and non-emotional. Try to keep your voices even, and speak quietly and slowly. If you can talk things out without assigning blame or getting into another argument, you'll get much better results. You may want to think about getting a therapist or relationship counselor involved in this process to help keep you both on track and non-confrontational.

Give Them Space

This may seem counterintuitive, but you have to remember that just because you want to talk to them or see them, it doesn't mean that they want to talk to you or see you. It's very important to give them space; a little time away from you will give them time to cool down and give them a chance to start missing you. If you try to stay in contact with them the whole time, they won't have that chance.

Show Them You Care About Yourself

If you seem desperate, clingy, or whiny, or if you sit around waiting for them to call, or keep checking your e-mail every few minutes hoping for a message from them, you're not doing yourself any favors. Go hang out with your friends, go to a movie, go to a concert, go shopping. Whatever you do, just get up and go. Get on with your life.

It's better if you're not home when your ex calls; that will make them wonder where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing. If you're out, and your cell phone rings, and it's your ex, don't answer; let it go to voicemail. Wait until the next day to call them back; tell them you were busy, and didn't get a chance to call them back. When they see that you're not sitting around waiting for them, it may make them want to pursue you.

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How to Get Your Ex Back In Four Easy Steps