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Parenting adolescents - How to talk to your teenager - teenage parenting is tough

2009-12-14T09:37:00.001+08:00

Parenting adolescents is a huge challenge but with communication, teenage parenting can be made easier for you and your child. One of the hardest things in parenting adolescents is communicating in the right way, and here are some ways that teenage parenting can be made a little less stressful:

Firstly, recognize opportunities to talk. Whether you're driving your teen somewhere or sharing the washing up, you have a chance to talk. The pressure of 'having to have a chat' isn't there and you may find that it is a time your teen can open up to you. One mistake that many people make in teenage parenting is to try and talk when it suits them and not when it suits their teen. If your son is in the middle of trying to beat a high score on his latest game, or your daughter is just leaving the house, they are not going to want to talk! So pick your time, even if you have to be a little creative about creating an opportunity - parenting adolescents isn't just about authority, it's about creativity too!

Secondly, think about what you say. Everybody knows teenagers who answer in words of one syllable, or who grunt responses. Don't ask them yes or no questions or they will continue to do it. Ask them open ended questions like, 'What happened at the football match?" You may still get a "nothing" or an "I don't know" answer but at least it increases the chances of a longer reply and a continuing conversation. Don't try and turn the conversation round to suit your needs. Parenting adolescents is hard enough without trying to create more problems. Bombarding them with demands, instructions, or questions you want answered, when they are actually talking to you about something else will make them feel unwanted and unimportant which will make teenage parenting even more difficult for you.

Lastly, think about how you react. Show your teen the same respect you would show other people. Give your full attention to the conversation, don't try and multi-task and don't veer off into talking about your day if they seem bored listening to it. You will probably be tempted to try and impose your views onto your teen at some time, but give your child space and support to formulate their own ideas about the world - they will become a much stronger person for doing so. Parenting adolescents can be very hard when they do rebel against the 'family ideals' and it is likely to happen to some extent at some point. However, if you do hear something you don't like, don't jump to conclusions and assume the worst. Take a deep breath and say you will talk about it later if you feel you are going to react in an angry way. Teenage parenting is stressful enough, without knee-jerk reactions making things worse.

It is difficult to remember that our parents had the same problems parenting adolescents as we do today, but they did. If you manage to communicate with your teenager you are doing really well. Try and think about ways you can talk to your teenager - are there activities you can do together? Think about what you say to them - try and see things through their eyes. Think about how you react - keep calm. Bear these three things in mind and teenage parenting may just get a little less fraught.

Source:Search articles

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Raising children

2009-12-10T09:55:00.001+08:00

Raising children is the most important job in the world. Raising children is a wonderful and challenging life experience. Here's the problem: people assume that raising children is only the job of the women, men do not take child raising seriously in our culture. If raising children is so hard, why do people still want to have kids? Downgrading the importance of raising children is the greatest evil of our times. It is time to face it, raising children is the responsibility of parents. Raising children is a never-ending job. Raising children is much harder than it looks, but with patience and hope, children can mature into very emotionally-secure adults.

Child care is a partnership. Child care is a necessary part of life for many families. First-time parents explore and document the care and development of a human baby. Do you feel comfortable with someone else taking care of your child? Taking care of yourself is a vital part of keeping your child safe. No job is more important to you than taking care of your own child. I don't think that the care of children should be gender specific.

Parents play a very important role in when raising children in a safe and loving home homes. Parents recognize and deal with their children's most challenging traits in a positive manner. Parents earning low or moderate incomes are under extreme pressure to meet the costs of raising children and overall household expenses. All parents face challenges in raising children. Parents decide to accept the responsibility of raising children. Therefore, workshop models for teaching parents how to cope with the stress associated with raising children has been developed.

Good child care provides parents with an extended family to help share in the challenges and joys of raising children. Creating a stable family environment and raising children should be a joy. It recognizes the critical role that the family plays in American society and in raising children. Poor family values and poor communication skills with children is what leads children to rebel. Siblings can cause many joys and frustrations in any family. It is difficult to balance this philosophy with a family life that places value on raising children.

Raising children is not an easy task. Raising children is at heart a practice that engages and embodies a rich variety of developed and undeveloped theories. The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. Like all parents, they have found that raising children is both challenging and unpredictable. It seems to me that raising children is a catch-22 when it comes to finances

Source: Ezine

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Making The Connection With Your Children

2009-12-08T11:02:00.001+08:00

There are many different levels of connecting. When you call out to your child from another room you are not yet connected, you are just putting out what I will term a location finder signal. By the second and third times when you don't get a response, your frustration is rising. You are in reaction mode.

Why weren't you getting a response? Possibly your child's music or television are too loud for you to be heard. Perhaps your child is on the phone, on the computer, watching a video or totally absorbed in some activity. The reality is that you are not connected yet.

As you become more irritated with each attempt you can feel your emotional temperature rising in frustration. As frustration increases, it is natural to begin assigning meaning to why you are not getting a response. Since you are filling in the blanks while in an emotional state, you are likely to be telling yourself negative messages. You begin drawing on what happened before when you were ignored. Perhaps you think, "...never listens to me".

When you reach your child after searching, your irritation has peaked based on the thought that your child never listens to you. The brain takes the feelings and the thought and puts them together so that the message you give yourself seems to be reality. Once you locate your child you call out their name with a tone that reflects your irritation. The three letter adolescent "huh" response you are likely to get, may set off your hot button. Perhaps you respond in a harsh tone or by yelling.

What you get back from your child is likely to be an upset, defensive, anxious reaction in response to your hyper excited emotional state. By the time you actually ask your child to do something, neither one of you are reacting to the request, you are both reacting to the emotional tone. This type of interaction can become a pattern, with toxic fallout.

The first step in connecting with your child is to have direct face to face interaction, in which there is no attitude, just engagement. No more shortcuts of calling across a room or across a house. Taking the time out-front to calmly make that face to face connection means you are focused on what is really important, connecting.

The photo above stimulates warm loving feelings. Think of the times with your hand over your child's beating heart and the mystery and joy of connecting. Photos, even slogans such as "reach out and touch someone" can have powerful influences in how we feel. Imagine reaching out and connecting with your child in a tender loving manner. Then realize that is what we live for, what makes everything feel worthwhile, the times of loving connection. We don't want to damage those precious moments by disconnecting. For every interaction, keep in mind step one of this plan, connect! Our connection brings joy and reminds us of why we invest so much into our children day after day.

Source:Self growth

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Anger Management - Teenage Girls and Boys

2009-12-05T09:51:00.001+08:00

Anger management for teenage girls and boy's may not be hard as you initially first thought. There are sound and proven ways in dealing with teenage anger management issues that are time tested to work.

Teenage anger management is really something a parent does not need to deal with when the are bringing up their family in a safe and secure environment. But, there are occasions when the teenager does have anger management issues that need to be dealt with. No one can deny that a teenager who suffers with anger, is really not to blame for having feelings of this nature. Once that one point is identified, that is, the teenager is not at fault, then the issue can be successfully dealt with. There will be nothing to gain by having the teenager feeling unsupported and responsible for their own feelings.

The angry teenage needs to be supported and provided with a nurturing environment. Feeling safe at home for the teenager is one very important point in dealing with anger management issues. Once the teenager is secure in their environment then other techniques can be used such as communication and respect. Often anger management comes from the teenager feeling unloved or insecure and they are just reaching out in the only way they know how to, possibly in genuine anger and frustration or a small attempt to get the attention they so fondly deserve. So far we have discussed several issues that might bring on teenage anger. What has happened here is that some issues have been readily identified and none of those issues cannot be satisfactory dealt with. Anger management is an individual issue and not a common issue that teenagers suddenly "catch". It is this way, identifying what the issues are, that can be addressed and a plan put in place.

To draw an analogy of this, if the anger results from an insecure home, then make it secure. If the anger issue results from neglect and feelings of being unloved, then change those feelings and make an effort. These are simple ideas to resolve such consequences of anger in the teenager. When talking with the teenager and looking at their environment, friends, family and schooling, it can readily be identified what it is that is feeding the anger in the teenager. Addressing this anger will allow the teenager to make choices in their life and realize that being angry is not going to be the best path to take. The teenager themselves will know what it is that makes them angry. One case was were the daughter felt her Father did not respect her and she felt unwanted. Of course the teenage girl would lash out in anger to male authoritative figures such as school teachers and the Fathers of her friends.

When this issue was identified, the teenager could openly discuss her feelings and state why she felt such anger. Then the teenager was able to put into prospective that other males were not like her Father and should not be treated the same. More importantly the Father was made aware of the problem, when basically he simply did not realize his daughter felt that way, and he was able to make an effort to build and reinforce their relationship. There are many ways in dealing with teenage anger management in both girls, boys and children. Even the adults might learn something new.

Source:Buzzle

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TEACHING CHILDREN RESPONSIBILITY - WHAT IT REALLY MEANS & HOW TO DO IT

2009-12-03T10:09:00.001+08:00

Two year old knocks over his cup of juice and it spills onto the hardwood floor. His mother frowns. "Look at what you've done," she hisses, pointing at the cup. "This is the third time today!" The child hangs his head. Something tugs at the mother's heart, but she can't stop herself from sighing heavily, as she bends down to wipe the floor.

Perhaps you've been witness to such a scene or maybe you've been a participant. There are so many things happening in this moment that it helps to take a close look at the parent-child dynamic and interplay. The first and most important thing to notice is how the mother blames and shames the child. She makes him feel bad about what was most likely an accident. If she thinks she's teaching responsibility, she's wrong. In fact, the only thing the little boy has learned is that he feels bad about himself. Sure, he may be more careful about spilling in the future, but that will be driven by a sense of shame, rather than responsibility.

This kind of scenario is not unique to parenthood, but extends into our greater culture. When something happens that we don't like, we point a blaming finger. This strikes at the heart of the American allegiance to cause and effect: if something happened, someone must have caused it; therefore, it must be that person's fault. The guilty party must be blamed, shamed and often humiliated publicly. This suffering is part of what the offender must endure in order to make things right. Of course, it feels much better to be the accuser, than to stand accused, so righteous indignation fuels the fire and at least partially explains why some people are so quick to blame.

While some crimes must be punished, spilling a glass of juice isn't one of them. Even if it was the child's third spill that day. As caring parents, we must find alternatives to assigning fault. Contrary to popular belief, teaching children responsibility does not need to built from a sense of shame

About ten years ago, I witnessed a family eating dinner in a restaurant and the way they behaved when their youngest daughter overturned her glass of milk has stayed with me ever since. Without a trace of disapproval, the mother said, "It's okay, sweetie. We'll help you clean it up." Then every member of the family grabbed their napkin and wiped until the spill was gone, including the youngest member of the family who looked like she was only three years old.

This, of course, is key and the essence of teaching children responsibility--the willingness to respond, no matter what the situation. Think about it for a moment because it's quite profound. Nobody blamed or shamed. No one was left feeling bad. There was no righteous indignation and thus, no drama. Instead, everyone helped clean up the mess. The message sent? It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to be human. When accidents happen, other people will pitch in and help.

What I witnessed that day was humanity in action--people helping people. If you see the value of teaching responsibility, then teach kids to be responsive to their environment. Model this behavior by acting, rather than reacting. If something happens, whatever it is, ask other family members to help. Show them how quickly messes can be done and over with if everyone lends a hand.

For those of you who grew up in families that blamed and shamed as mine did, you'll know that it often takes years to recover from the impact of those wounds. Blame gets internalized as shame. Shame profoundly affects all aspects of your life, especially how you feel about yourself.

A story about a friend of mine will illustrate how deeply blaming wounds. My friend grew up feeling so ashamed of herself that she imagined that she must have done something horrible. The worst thing that she could think of was that maybe she'd killed someone. She said that she feared that one day people would discover what a bad person she was and she'd be sent to prison forever. After years of therapy, she realized that what was making her feel that way was all those layers of blame and shame. Her shame had imprisoned her and the person she'd killed had been herself.

Teaching children responsibility happens when you model responsiveness. Above all, remember to be gentle with the souls it is your job to tend.

sourse: family matters

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Looking after our parents

2009-12-01T15:35:00.001+08:00

Parents are even above God that need to be worshipped and not thrown out of their own homes. Mother is the one who carries a child in her womb for nine months and nurtures the baby in his childhood. Father is the one who gives all the financial support and the love to bring that baby up and to make him a dignified person in the society. If his parents would not have supported him, he would not have reached the good position that he is in today. Every children needs to be thankful for the support given by the parents. Putting them out of the home, for the sake of seizing the property is a selfish and inhuman practice. Looking after old parents is a responsibility of every child, any child not willing to do so should also not have any right over the parental property and assets.

The properties earned by the parents are their own. There is no rule that those properties have to be given to their children. They can even donate it to charity. But it is the courtesy of the parents that giving the property to the children has been a universal practice. For such kindness, at least we need to have the courtesy of looking after them till their death. Otherwise that will be a worst curse for children, throughout their life. So, there is the need of awareness about the moral teaching and the responsibility of the children about looking after their parents till their death. In case of any inhuman practice, there should be a strict law of punishing the children and giving the immediate solution for it.

What people need to realize is that what they have done to their parents, the same will be done to them one day by their own children. The more you will look after your old parents, the better you will be looked after in your old age. So whatever you give is what you get

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Holiday Child and Teenage Mannequin Displays

2009-11-30T09:51:00.001+08:00

Are you looking for ideas for bringing your mannequins to life this holiday season? Good for you! So many retail stores simply throw a Santa hat on their mannequin and say that they're done. Getting your displays ready for the holidays should be a fun and creatively satisfying experience. Your efforts are more beneficial if you actually create scenes that evoke holiday feelings of wanting to give in your customers.

Here are a few ideas that you can use in your retail window displays. Use them as a guide or simply as inspiration when designing your showcase display.

A lot of parents will buy clothing for their children during the holiday season. Parents will want to see their children in a certain light. If you create a display that makes children look precious, loving, excited or happy this holiday season, you are sure to pull at the heartstrings of the parents.

Use child mannequins to create Christmas morning scenes. Lighting is important here because harsh lighting and fluorescent lights can detract from the feeling you are trying to communicate. You can even have your window display box dimly lit with lamps, electric candles, or Christmas lights. This is the time of year when you can really increase your sales, so go all out on your displays. You can build a staircase coming down with the children peeking through the bars. They could spot Santa playing with the puppy that he is leaving for them. Another idea is to communicate a child's excitement when they are opening a gift. Or, you can show a child sleeping peacefully by the fire.

Here are some ideas for older children. Teenagers are really like young adults and often buy presents for each other. So, you really don't have to target parents to have an effective teenage window display, but you do want to keep parents in mind. Teenagers are really into accessorizing, so use a lot of your accessories like purses, hats, and jewelry when you set up your mannequins.

An idea involving teenagers could be something like a female mannequin opening her locker to discover a small wrapped gift from a secret admirer. You can have a group of male mannequins hanging around, seemingly uninterested, but one boy is secretly looking at her. You can also set up a "best friends" scene. You can use a dress mannequin or two to show two girl friends giggling and whispering. Behind them, you can place a shy looking female mannequin and a male mannequin passing her a gift.

Whenever you come up with an idea, ask yourself if it purposely communicates a feeling. Is this a feeling that your target audience is looking to find when they shop in your store? If so, then your mannequins can make a big difference in your sales this holiday season.

Source: article base

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Holiday Child and Teenage Mannequin Displays

2009-11-30T09:48:00.001+08:00

The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Yahoo! Homepage.

Holiday Child and Teenage Mannequin Displays

2009-11-26T10:27:00.001+08:00

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Understanding family relationship Problems

2009-11-24T09:43:00.001+08:00

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Raising good children

2009-11-17T20:05:00.001+08:00

As parents we set the model for what our children see as important to us. Every day we are faced with many choices. The personal values we have help us to make those choices and so there is no better time than the present to "practice what we preach."

What we hold true in our lives is demonstrated by the everyday examples that we set in our lives. The "little things" are the big things when it comes to developing moral fiber in our children's lives. The way in which we respond to needs, the attitudes we take in accomplishing our chores, the tone of voice we use in answering questions are all essential in character education.

Virtues are objectively good human qualities; they have a claim on our personal and collective conscience. How do we share these with our children? Here are a few tips from the research:

Spend time together, learn to really listen, and talk through issues and how your family would deal with them. Show your children they are a priority in your life.

Talk about the things that are important to you. Take an example from a television or news article and ask your family "what would we do in our home if this happened?"

Model the actions you expect from your children. Respect is a cornerstone of good character. It is essential to value the individuality of our children and treat them the way we desire that they treat others. Look for words of character at school or other places in your community and the opportunity to explain what it means in your family. Raise a child with character, a child who will do the right things, and make the right choices in the journey of life.

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Joint family in India

2009-11-13T15:28:00.001+08:00

What is a family? More than one person living together is a family and there should be blood relation among them. In olden days, everybody in the family would respect and obey the words of the eldest person in a family. Whether right or wrong, his decision would be final.

Living in a group is the basic characteristic of humanity and everybody would show love and affection towards other members in the family. The family members would get security when they live together. All the responsibilities and the works of the family would be shared. All the members would be getting support from other members in the family, in the activities outside the family. The nurturing of children is not at all a problem. As per Indian culture, the joint family is the traditional form of living and everybody accepted this way of living, in the olden days. Recently, there is a sudden change in the lifestyle which gave way to separate families. Many joint families broke into smaller separate families with a father, mother and children. In India, have we lost the charm of joint family?

In a joint family the children would have got more security than in the separate family, because in a separate family both the father and mother would be employed and the children would have to spend most of their time in loneliness. The little time available to the parents would be spent in performing the household works. The parents could provide whatever the child needs in the form of money, comforts, all the treasures and luxuries. But, what about the love and affection they missed from grandparents and other elders? Of course, in a separate family the parents are more affectionate towards the children and they do lot of sacrifices for the sake of children. The child needs physical development, social development and emotional development in the growing age. They learn the qualities of interacting with others, learning from others and sharing with others, in a joint family well than in separate family.

In a separate family the child has to keep attachment on non-living things only, as the parents would be out of home for most of the time. The parents would be hunting for money in order to keep the child happy. Money alone will not bring all the happiness in the world. The family values should be taught to the children by their parents. The parents should take up the duties of all elders in the joint family.

At times, it may happen that when all the members in the family scatter and form small separate families, the elders in the family would be left out uncared. It is not proper to leave the elders of the family and neglect them, because they are aged and suffering from illness. They might have done a lot to us in the early stage and it is our duty to show gratitude to them. We should take proper care of them until they die peacefully, in a normal way. It is our primary duty and we should not forget it, while living in a separate family also. The appropriate arrangement for taking care of them should be made.
In tune with change of time, the lifestyle has been changed so as to bring all the family members in one place, at the time of functions and festivals. That is good.

We may live in separate families but our hearts should be united, to extend any type of help to other family members at any time. The love and affection should be forever and separate family should not be a barrier to such things. The charm of joint family should not be lost at any cost. We should strive hard to keep the family values intact and our children should inherit all the good qualities of joint family and adapt it to separate family, without loosing the essence of charm.

Source: SACHING

Parents role in Child Care

2009-11-13T15:18:00.001+08:00

Raising children is the most important job in the world. Raising children is a wonderful and challenging life experience. Here's the problem: people assume that raising children is only the job of the mother, men do not take child raising seriously in our culture. If raising children is so hard, why do people still want to have kids? Downgrading the importance of raising children is the greatest evil of our times. It is time to face it, raising children is the responsibility of father and mother. Raising children is a never-ending job. Raising children is much harder than it looks, but with patience and hope, children can mature into very emotionally-secure adults.

father and mother play a very important role in when raising children in a safe and loving home homes. father and mother recognize and deal with their children's most challenging traits in a positive manner. father and mother earning low or moderate incomes are under extreme pressure to meet the costs of raising children and overall household expenses. All father and mother face challenges in raising children. father and mother decide to accept the responsibility of raising children. Therefore, workshop models for teaching father and mother how to cope with the stress associated with raising children has been developed.

Child care is a partnership. Child care is a necessary part of life for many families. First-time father and mother explore and document the care and development of a human baby. Do you feel comfortable with someone else taking care of your child? Taking care of yourself is a vital part of keeping your child safe. No job is more important to you than taking care of your own child. I don't think that the care of children should be gender specific.

Good child care provides father and mother with an extended family to help share in the challenges and joys of raising children. Creating a stable family environment and raising children should be a joy. It recognizes the critical role that the family plays in American society and in raising children. Poor family values and poor communication skills with children is what leads children to rebel. Siblings can cause many joys and frustrations in any family. It is difficult to balance this philosophy with a family life that places value on raising children.

Raising children is not an easy task. Raising children is at heart a practice that engages and embodies a rich variety of developed and undeveloped theories. The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side. Like all father and mother, they have found that raising children is both challenging and unpredictable. It seems to me that raising children is a catch-22 when it comes to finances.

Confucius family tree has two million members

2009-06-12T17:28:00.002+08:00

JINAN -- He's been dead for 2,500 years but his family just keeps growing and growing - Confucius, or more properly his descendants, are alive and well and flourishing in China and across the globe, according to the latest version of his family tree which is set to triple the size of his kith and kin.
The job of registering new members to the family tree of revered Chinese thinker and educator Confucius (551-479 BC), was finished by the end of 2007, and the number in the updated tree now stands at more than two million.
The family tree will be published in 2009, according to the Confucius Genealogy Compilation Committee.
"We have received more than 1.3 million new entries and already stopped soliciting new ones," said Kong Dewei, a Confucius descendant who is directing the updating work.
The 1.3 million are the living members of the Confucius family who have paid the official registration fee of five yuan (70 U.S. cents), but the deceased members will also be included if their descendants can prove a collateral family tree which conforms to the Confucius Genealogy, without any charges, Kong said.
The registration work started in 1998, when Kong Deyong, 77th-generation descendant established the committee in Hong Kong. More than 450 branches were set up around the world to assist the work.
The pedigree has only been revised four times throughout history. The last revision took place in the 1930s and included 600,000 members. The fifth edition of the Confucius family tree will be published to coincide with the 2560th anniversary of the birth of the thinker next year.
Compared with previous versions, the new genealogy will for the first time include overseas and female descendants of the great philosopher.
Confucius' family tree is regarded as the world's longest, recording more than 80 generations of the sage's family.

Source: China Daily

family tree and family history information

2009-06-05T10:07:00.002+08:00

Genealogists who seek to reconstruct the lives of each ancestor consider all historical information to be "genealogical" information. Traditionally, the basic information needed to ensure correct identification of each person are place names, occupations, family names, first names, and dates. However, modern genealogists greatly expand this list, recognizing the need to place this information in its historical context in order to properly evaluate genealogical evidence and distinguish between same-name individuals.
Family Names
Family names are simultaneously one of the most important pieces of genealogical information, and a source of significant confusion for researchers.
In many cultures, the name of a person refers to the family to which he or she belongs. This is called the family name, surname, or last name. Patronymics are names that identify an individual based on the father''s name, e.g., Marga Olafsdottir or Olaf Thorsson. Many cultures used patronymics before surnames were adopted or came into use. The Dutch in New York, for example, used the patronymic system of names until 1687 when the advent of English rule mandated surname usage. In Iceland, patronymics are used by a majority of the population. In Denmark and Norway patronymics and farm names were generally in use through the 1800s and beyond, though surnames began to come into fashion toward the end of the nineteenth century in some parts of the country. Not until 1856 in Denmark and 1923 in Norway were there laws requiring surnames.
The transmission of names across generations, marriages and other relationships, and immigration may cause difficulty in genealogical research. For instance, women in many cultures have routinely used their spouse''s surnames. When a woman remarried, she may have changed her name and the names of her children; only her name; or changed no names. Her birth name (maiden name) may be reflected in her children''s middle names; her own middle name; or dropped entirely. Children may sometimes assume stepparent, foster parent, or adoptive parent names. Because official records may reflect many kinds of surname change, without explaining the underlying reason for the change, the correct identification of a person recorded identified with more than one name is challenging.
Surname data may be found in trade directories, census returns, birth, death, and marriage records.
Given names
Genealogical data regarding given names (first names) is subject to many of the same problems as are family names and place names. Additionally, the use of nicknames is very common. For example Beth, Lizzie or Betty are all common for Elizabeth, and Jack, John and Jonathan may be interchanged.
Middle names provide additional information. Middle names may be inherited, follow naming customs, or be treated as part of the family name. For instance, in some Latin cultures, both the mother''s family name and the father''s family name are used by the children.
Historically, naming traditions existed in some places and cultures. Even in areas that tended to use naming conventions, however, they were by no means universal. Families may have used them some of the time, among some of their children, or not at all. A pattern might also be broken to name a newborn after a recently deceased sibling, aunt or uncle.
An example of a naming tradition from England, Scotland and Ireland:
Child
Namesake
1st son
paternal grandfather
2nd son
maternal grandfather
3rd son
father
4th son
father''s oldest brother
1st daughter
maternal grandmother
2nd daughter
paternal grandmother
3rd daughter
mother
4th daughter
mother''s oldest sister
Another example is in some areas of Germany, where siblings were given the same first name, often of a favourite saint or local nobility, but different second names by which they were known (Rufname). If a child died, the next child of the same gender that was born may have been given the same name. It is not uncommon that a list of a particular couple''s children will show one or two names repeated.
Personal names have periods of popularity, so it is not uncommon to find many similarly-named people in a generation, and even similarly-named families; e.g., "William and Mary and their children David, Mary, and John".
Many names may be identified strongly with a particular gender; e.g., William for boys, and Mary for girls. Others may be ambiguous, e.g., Lee, or have only slightly variant spellings based on gender, e.g., Frances (usually female) and Francis (usually male).

source: Find your family history

Tips for Organizing Your Genealogy Research

2009-06-01T12:23:00.002+08:00

Researching your family tree is very rewarding. You find things you never knew before and identify yourself with your heritage. It can also be frustrating when you can’t find what you are looking for. Finding that one source that helps you go one generation deeper, or find a new family fact is satisfying to us genealogy hunters. Building a solid family history with proper sources requires many hours of research and tons of patience. As you make progress, it’s important to carefully track all of your findings. This is essential to preserving your family history and ensures that all the hours of hard work you put into growing your family tree won’t go unnoticed.
To help you build a precise family history and a reliable family tree, here are tips for organizing your genealogy research:
Manage Your Sources
Once you start your family search and start to find sources, be sure to document where you found the source. This is known as the repository. Make sure you write down everything and copy all pertinent family information. Make it easy for yourself and others to go back and investigate the information again. And yes, on more than one occasion, you will end up needing to go back and look up the document or directing a relative to the same source.
Sources abound out on the Internet, the library, genealogical societies, and government records. It’s really easy to copy information from someone's family tree, but beware of doing this. Most trees contain little or no sources and you should find the documents that substantiate family history, before copying and sharing your information with others. If you do copy the information, make sure you give credit to the person and repository where you found the information. Your family search should always contain sources to back-up the family information you record.
Keep Track of the Little Things
Recording both your research methods and your findings will help keep your family search efforts up-to-date and, if another family member takes over as family record keeper in the years to come, this documentation will make his or her task easier.
Don’t just document your successes but your failures, too. Pointing out dead ends will help prevent future family genealogists from making the same mistake and could even remind you of leads you followed that went nowhere.
Many family genealogists find that carefully documenting their findings (both the successful leads and the dead ends) often helps in paving the way for a new research idea. You never know when or where you’re going to come across a key piece of information that will unlock more of your family history.
Ensure an Accurate Family Tree
You will inevitably find sources that contradict family information that you thought to be true. This may be due to inaccurate memories passed down within your family, or it could be a mistake by the person who created the written record. You may even find one historical document that contradicts another historical document. For example, a census could have been filled out by someone who didn't bother to ask the spelling of the family member’s name or the information could have been given by a neighbor or the eldest child in the house. To make sure your family tree is as accurate as possible, document all dates and information and make notes as to why you think certain information is correct. You can spend years trying to figure out which exact dates and places are relevant when you have multiple documents that don't have the exact same information. Documenting all the information you find from your family search will make it easier to compare notes later.
Stay Focused
When you get over-whelmed with your research, document what you have done, take a break, and come back to it later. At the end of the day, the process should be enjoyable and rewarding, so when things get frustrating take a step back and take a deep breath. This will help you stay energized and focused on the task at hand.

source: Article Base

The Many Benefits of Making a Family Tree

2009-06-01T12:12:00.002+08:00

Researching your family tree has become a popular past time for many people. The thought of getting to know your ancestors and finding out how they lived, and what their life was like has enthralled many; and the internet has made it much easier to find vital information. It is akin to assembling a jigsaw puzzle about ancestors, one generation at a time. Most people have dreams of tracing their family tree back to royalty, knights, or founding fathers.There are other, important benefits to researching your family tree, however. New Friendships - there are countless others online and off researching their own family histories. What better way to make a new friend than find something in common? You can share tips, ideas, and strategies to help each other and build lifelong friendships along the way. Personal Growth - researching and assembling information about your ancestors can be a wonderful project on your own personal growth and education. You will discover skills you never even knew you had. You will have a sense of accomplishment that is unmatched with anything you have ever known. A treasured heirloom to be passed on from generation to generation - this will be a work in progress, as each new generation will add their information and share their stories and memories, along with photos, journals and other heirlooms. Getting closer to your living relatives - interviewing your oldest living relatives can bring you closer together, especially if you haven't gotten to know them well in the past. Most likely, they will be happy to share their stories and memories with you. It will make them feel less lonely, and more like a useful part of the family. Visit them as often as you can; if they live too far away, call or write often. Medical history - as you conduct your research, you will most likely come across medical information, such as heart conditions, cancer, or other hereditary diseases that your ancestors suffered from. This will give you much needed information that you can pass on to your own family doctor. Geographical history - not only will you learn about people, you will learn about places and interesting times in history. What city was your great-grandmother born in? What was it like? What was the population? Where did she go to school? Has the city changed its name since then? There is an abundance of information to be found, not only on whom, but where.Researching your family tree takes time, patience, and effort; but the payoff is tremendous. The benefits far outweigh any challenges. It is something that should be considered a life-long process that is constantly in need of updating as family members get married, have children, grandchildren, etc. It is something to be treasured from generation to generation. Keep a journal of your progress, as well as various notes and things you have learned along the way. Someday, you may be the one being researched, and the more that you can aid in the process, the better.

Source: Article Base

How To Organize Your Family History

2009-05-21T11:33:00.000+08:00

How many times have you set about to write your family history, only to run across the daunting task of putting it all together in a manner which will make sense?
Many people give up writing their family history at this point. Too much information! So much to write about! If you are like me, you’ve spent years researching your ancestors only to find piles of papers, notes, and website URLs piling up on your desktop.
The key to writing your family history is to GET ORGANIZED, but take it one small step at a time!
We’ve all seen articles on how to organize your clutter and make our homes neat and pleasing. This knowledge can be applied to genealogy research, and writing your history, also!
One interesting thing I have noticed is that most experts on home organization emphasize ‘one step at a time.’ If you choose to do it all at once, you’ve set yourself up for failure before you’ve even begun. Giving yourself permission to do just a little at a time will make the task so much easier.
I know when I began cleaning out the clutter of closets, kitchen cabinets and ‘junk drawers’ I began to feel overwhelmed. I was making a bigger mess and never getting it all finished. What a self deafeating experience! Another side effect was not knowing where anything was after I’d made such a mess.
Being a clutter-junkie was something I inherited from my mother, the difference being, she always seemed to have it all organized and easily accessible. In my case, I am disorganizationally organized. I know where that note about Uncle Harry is in that pile of papers on my desktop, thank you very much. I remember where I put that scrap of paper with Auntie Dorothy’s phone number from 1982 on it. My mother laughed too, so go ahead - laugh out loud!
If you are a ‘neatnik’, ignore this article. If you are a ‘clutter junkie’, read on!
One day, while working on a family history project, I was feeling quite overwhelmed at all the information I had and was able to produce no clearly written story. My mother’s voice came back to haunt me: “You need to get organized…you need to get organized…you need to get organized.”
Ok, alright, Mother, I hear you! But, HOW?
Remember your mother telling you: “Everything has a place…blah blah blah”? Well, it’s true (don’t tell my mother I said that - I‘ll never live it down).
It’s not easy for us clutter junkies, however. I decided I would take it…one small step at a time. First, I cleaned off my desktop. I just threw everything in a couple boxes. There. Done. Finished. Finis.
Well, that was so easy, I decided to take the next step. Sorting out one box. I had file folders, so I placed each surname in a separate folder. Easy enough. It was all going well.
The next step was soon to follow, as the last had been so easy. Before I knew it, it was all organized, the information easily found, and I was ready to begin writing!
The next step was actually writing my family history.
I’ll take it…one step at a time.
Article Source: http://www.familyhistoryarticles.com

Find Distant Relatives on Family Tree

2009-03-26T16:04:00.001+08:00

The desire to learn more about your family tree is a natural one, given the long history of migration and ethnic mingling the world has witnessed. Generationdb.com helps you trace your family members and relatives, and helps you become aware of where you belong. Some of the results can throw up many pleasant surprises, and who knows, you may just discover some relatives in a far-flung or exotic country.

Generationdb.com is compiled from information provided by people like you who wish to trace their roots and get close to relatives in distant corners of the globe. You get to know about your far relatives, trace your family tree and also know more about the traditions that may have been part of your clan.

By registering with generationdb.com, you open doors to information about your ancestry by getting acquainted with your grandparents or other relatives. Knowing more about your family history helps you know more about the quaint social customs and values you have followed for long, but never knew the origin of. You will be able to trace as much as you can find on distant relatives, cousins and other people related to you. Try it, you will be amazed by the results!

The best thing about our website is that you need not put in any legwork to track down your family members. Know more about your family history and traditions by registering with us. You can also submit additional data related to your family, so that we can help you refine your search, and help your distant cousins find you. By registering with us, you will find more about your family history, and know more about your heritage.

Your family tree could be very complex, with several branches and roots. We instruct you on how to source information about your family connections should you wish to submit a family tree. Do not hesitate, register with us now to know more about your family tree. Trace distant cousins in the land from where your ancestors migrated, or find out the fascinating history of your origin. Nothing can be as satisfying as tracing your extended family. Let us help you in your search for other members of your family.

Family Bonds Nurture Community Spirit

2009-03-26T15:53:00.001+08:00

Family is the smallest unit in a community. It is also the child’s first school for learning values like sharing, caring and compassion. The family provides a secure setting where citizens of the future are molded to become responsible members of the community. This makes the family an important unit of the community, a place where the child learns human values and feels rooted.

The community spirit that is so important to keeping societies together is taught in the family. Families are increasingly becoming small, nuclear units. Migrations and other factors have led to the break up of the extended family system that once held together traditional communities. There was a time when an entire village or locality in a town would be inhabited by members of the same family, and everybody was everybody else’s cousin, aunt, brother, uncle or grandparent.

Migrations and economic realities have increased the physical distance between members of the extended family, and has resulted in the fragmentation of close knit communities that were once the backbone of any society. Young people feel increasingly alienated in a setup without community bonding. Their parents may not be able to spend quality time with them, or help them through various problems of growing up, and the community may not extend the help needed.

Families are the crucial element of a community. An extended family is a precursor to the larger social unit, society. Being part of an extended family teaches young people the importance of sharing and giving. Since the physical extended families are a rare experience, family trees that gives the relation a link on the monitor where people spend most of their time would be a better option. It helps them adapt better to the world at large. If the family has some trouble, then all members of the extended family chip in to help. Most importantly, the extended family absorbs shocks of death, divorce, illness, unemployment and other rampant problems facing families, giving children a safe, secure environment to grow in. This leads children to become better citizens who are able to fit in well in society and make important contributions to the community.

Our website is a tool to bring members of the family together. You can find your cousins, grandparents, uncles, aunts and even distant relatives by searching through our generations database. We do not ask for sensitive information like credit card numbers, and you can choose which information you wish to display publicly in your search for family members. If you cannot visit your relatives, our website offers ways for you to share your happy memories and celebrate important occasions with them online.

www.generationdb.com
contact@generationdb.com
Tel: +91 11 45531361

Generationdb.com The Family Tree making site

2009-02-02T21:23:00.002+08:00

Finally the project is almost ready to launch. Yes it had lots of ups and downs, taken a lot of time far beyond scheduled plans.. but finally we are there. wait for few more days

Here is my family

Search Ship Manifests for your Family's History

2007-07-09T17:24:00.000+08:00

Before the days of airplane travel, emigrants typically left their countries of origin on ships and braved long and difficult journeys across the ocean. Finding evidence of an ancestor's journey to a new world through passenger lists and ship manifests can be a thrilling experience for anyone who is interested in their family history. Such valuable documents, kept by most shipping companies across the world, can be incredibly difficult to search, however, leading genealogists to spend countless hours in fruitless inquiry. Many of the lists, for instance, have not been put into indexes and lay moldering in some obscure or unreachable archive. At other times, even when genealogists do find their ancestors on a ship manifest, only their name and country of departure are listed; no other exciting information, such as birth date, country of origin, or occupation, is included. Such warnings aside, however, there are ways genealogists can increase their chance of success in finding their ancestors on passenger lists. First, remember that your ancestors may have been included on a number of lists, not just the ones made upon arrival in their new country. Lists were made when they first got on the ship and whenever they stopped along the way. Newspapers and organizations that may have paid for their journey, such as aid societies, would also have kept lists. Even passport applications and naturalization papers can provide valuable clues to your ancestor's journey.After becoming aware of the variety of places in which you can look for your ancestors, try and keep the time period in which they arrived in consideration. Passenger lists made for immigrants arriving in America before 1820, for example, are particularly difficult to search for because they were not standardized or carefully preserved and either do not exist anymore or are extremely difficult to find. The search for immigrants arriving between 1820 and 1891 is slightly less difficult but information is still limited. Finally, in 1891, the Immigration and Naturalization Service came into existence in the United States, and passenger lists were greatly improved, becoming more reliable, informative and well-preserved. Before you begin searching passenger lists, you need to know your ancestor's complete and original name, the date of his arrival in America, and the port at which he arrived. It is also helpful to know his age; the port from which he departed; his country of origin; his ultimate destination in the United States; and the names of his ship or of any fellow travelers. You can find this information through a piece memorabilia, such as a letter or ticket; through previously researched family history; through census records, which are available on the internet and on purchasable computer programs; through naturalization records, which are actually more informative than passenger lists for immigrants arriving after 1906; and through passport records, if your ancestor applied for one to visit his country of origin.If you discover that your ancestor arrived before 1820, there is no centralized place to search for passenger lists. Many ships did keep lists, which they left at the ports of arrival, but since the government did not require these lists to be kept or saved, they were lost, destroyed, or scattered in different libraries or private collections. Many of the surviving lists have been published on the web or in books, so these are the best places to search. Newspapers from the time which have been microfilmed are also valuable resources. Finally, the government does have records in the national archives for arrivals in New York from 1789 to 1919, in New Orleans from 1813 to 1819, and in Philadelphia from 1800 to 1819.If your ancestor arrived after 1820, then your main job will be in consulting the variety of resources available. Customs Passenger Lists, compiled by ship captains from 1820 to around 1891 and indexes for these lists can be found at the National Archives; in libraries, including the comprehensive genealogical archives of the Church of Latter Day Saints; online in images, transcripts, and indexes; on purchasable CD-ROMs; and in books. The archives and other resources contain notable gaps in information and errors, so it is best to search in a variety of indexes.Beginning around 1891, Immigration Passenger Lists replaced Customs Passenger Lists due to the flood of immigrants to the United States and the establishment of a Superintendent of Immigration. Immigration Passenger Lists are much more detailed and two pages long by 1906. They can be found in the National Archives, in the Latter Day Saints library, on the Ellis Island on-line database, and on other on-line sites. Once again, errors were made in microfilming lists and a variety of resources should be consulted. In the end, genealogy is like a scavenger hunt where you must use the clues provided to you and search in a variety of places before you find what you are looking for.

Article Source: http://www.familyhistoryarticles.com

Family Legends and Myths

2007-05-23T16:44:00.000+08:00

Family Legends and Myths
by Sharon DeBartolo Carmack, CG
Watching Out for Red Flags
Many families have cherished myths and stories about their immigration to America or other pivotal events and people. Sharon DeBartolo Carmack shos you how to determine which family legends are true, and what to do if you prove one false.
"Great-grandma was a Cherokee Indian princess, you know." At the family reunion or while interviewing relatives, you might hear family stories like this or other lore about your forebears. Nearly everyone has a story that has been handed down about their ancestors. Some of these legends may be quite factual; others are myth. Almost all family stories have some grain of truth, however. Family legends aren't usually created out of thin air, and that tiny grain of truth may be the clue that leads you to genealogical success. There are many myths that have worked their way into family stories, and perhaps you've already heard some of these. Often, they are about ethnic origins or how the family came to America. If you haven't heard any of these common legends yet, make yourself aware of some of the most common ones, since you may eventually hear variations as you talk with family members.
The Cherokee Indian Princess Myth
It's always a Cherokee princess, almost never Navajo or Apache or Pueblo or Lumbee. Native American ancestry is an extremely common family story, and it seems it is always to an Indian princess. The Cherokee, of course, are a large tribe with a diverse culture, divided by the Trail of Tears. They intermarried widely, perhaps increasing the likelihood of Cherokee/white ancestry.
One reason this princess myth may have evolved is prejudice. For those who frowned upon a white male ancestor marrying an Indian woman, elevating the woman's status to princess made the truth easier to swallow. Keep in mind that any story that says you have Native American ancestry — often Cherokee — may in itself be a myth. Even though it's currently an "in" thing to have Native American ancestry, just a few decades ago, it might have been the skeleton in your family's closet. Proving certain ethnic ancestry can be difficult because of prejudice or popularity toward a culture at any given time. Throughout history, some people who were victims of prejudice may have tried to hide their native origins by changing their name or claiming a different ethnicity.
The Three Brothers Myth
It's always three brothers who immigrated to America, never two or four or five or six. Sometimes one is lost at sea during the voyage over, or one went north, one went south, and one headed west, never to be heard from again. There are never any sisters involved in the big move across the ocean. Be wary of the brothers myth, and always keep an eye out for additional siblings both in America and once you start foreign research. You also want to confirm through your research that there were, in fact, three brothers, that the three brothers were indeed brothers and not two brothers and an uncle, for example, or that the three brothers weren't just three men with the same last name.
The Stowaway Myth
For some reason, it is so much more romantic to have an ancestor who came to America as a stowaway rather than a paying passenger. While there are cases of people who actually did sneak aboard ships, this was not common practice. If the stowaway was discovered enroute, typically, he will be recorded on the last page of the passenger arrival list. I deliberately use "he" because you almost never hear a story about great-grandma being a stowaway. Even if you have the family story of a stowaway, still check for a passenger arrival list, since if he was discovered and recorded on the passenger list, he'll likely be on the index, too.
The Claim-to-Fame Myth
Everyone who has the surname Bradford or Alden is related to William Bradford and John Alden of Mayflower fame, right? And everyone with the last name of Boone is related to Daniel. And if your last name is James, you're related to Jesse, of course. If you do have Native American ancestry, then you must be descended from Pocahontas. Is that a red flag I see flying? We all want a famous person to hang on our family tree, but we may not find that person. I'm supposedly related to Robert E. Lee. My research revealed that I really am. He's something like a ninth cousin, twenty times removed.
The Wrong Ethnic Identity Myth
All Germans are Hessians who fought in the American Revolution. All French are Huguenots. All Hispanics are Mexican. Of course, none of these broad statements is true. We tend to lump certain groups of people incorrectly into one category. "German" is not a distinct enough identifier in genealogy any more than "Indian" or "Hispanic." If family stories indicate that your ancestors were German or from Germany, were they Germans from Imperial Germany, Alsatians, Austrians, Swiss, Luxembourgers, Germans from Russia, or Poles from Germany? Even the records you uncover may not tell you more than "Germany." This is why it is so important to learn the unique cultural traits — customs, traditions, folkways — about the ethnic group.
Names, too, may be inaccurate indicators of ethnic identity. Just because the name sounds Italian, is it? The name you are accustomed to may have been changed or inadvertently corrupted over time, obscuring its ethnic origins.
The Ellis Island Baptism Myth
This is the myth that an immigrant ancestor's surname was changed by officials during processing at Ellis Island. No evidence whatsoever exists to suggest this ever occurred. During its operation as an immigrant receiving station (1892-1954), Ellis Island was staffed with hundreds of interpreters who spoke more than thirty different languages. Inspectors compared the names the immigrants told them against what was recorded on the passenger lists. These lists were created at the ports of departure. There was no reason to record or change anyone's surname once they arrived on the island. More likely, immigrants themselves changed their names after they settled in America to avoid prejudice and to blend more easily into American society.
Handling the Myth in Research and Writing
Now that I've shattered your favorite family story, how do you tell Grandpa? Or should you? And how do you handle ancient family legends that you've discovered through your research are false? Family legends are part of your family history and should never be ignored or taken lightly. As mentioned earlier, there is usually a kernel of truth to the family story. Rather than bursting Grandpa's bubble with the facts, try to find out how the story originated. When you write your family history, include the family story as it was told to you, noting it as family "tradition" or "lore" or "legend." Then explain, if you can, how the story originated, followed by a discussion of your research findings. You may reveal that some elements of a story were true and some were false, or that a story was totally false. Even if you have not been able to prove or disprove the story, acknowledge the lore and say it has yet to be proven. These family stories give color to your family history, so record and share them as what they are.About the Author
Sharon DeBartolo Carmack is a Certified Genealogist, editor of Betterway Genealogy Books, contributing editor for Family Tree Magazine, and the author of eight books, including A Genealogist's Guide to Discovering Your Female Ancestors. Sharon also teaches online courses in personal/family memoir writing. This how-to article was adapted from Sharon's book A Genealogist's Guide to Discovering Your Immigrant and Ethnic Ancestry. Topics include how to get your research started, the history of major ethnic groups in America, and how to turn your research into a family narrative.

Old Family Traditions And The New Generation

2007-05-11T16:23:00.000+08:00

Carried forward through the years by each new generation, old family traditions are a powerful means of strengthening the bonds that hold families together. Old family traditions often serve to connect the older generation with the new Generation, encouraging interaction through shared activities, and can also offer a way for families separated by distance to feel close.
Many of the most meaningful old family traditions revolve around food, with families gathering to eat and celebrate together. Often the foods served at the meal are determined by tradition, with recipes passed down from generation to generation or specific family members preparing their specialties year after year.
That food should serve as a centerpiece for so many of the old family traditions that are passed to the new generation comes as no surprise. Food is essential to survival, and being grateful for the success of its production, whether through agriculture or the hunt, is at the base of not only many old family traditions, but also many of the world’s ancient religions.
Celebrating the abundance of the harvest is done throughout the world, with each culture giving rise to a particular set of old family traditions. However, as different as these cultures may be, the foundation of these celebrations is the gathering together of families to feast, to share food, to break bread.
There are many old family traditions designed specifically to celebrate the new generation. Some are as lighthearted and fun as the yearly birthday gathering for cake, ice cream and gifts. Others are built upon meaningful, often symbolic, rituals marking the milestones along the path to maturity. In each, it is the older generation celebrating the progress of the new generation, as one day that generation will do for its own children.
Even when families cannot gather together, which is increasingly common today as families find their members scattered throughout the nation and even the world, old family traditions can help to maintain family ties. Knowing that thousands of miles away, other family members are engaged in the same activities can help keep that feeling of closeness among family members.
Often the new generation uses old family traditions to honor those who have passed before them. Many children learn the history of their families in this way, listening as family members share memories of those who are no longer with them and of their own childhood remembrances. Sometimes it is the old family traditions that hold a family together, the adult siblings continuing to gather with their children after their parents have died.
Participating in the old family traditions builds memories that will last a lifetime, and serves to build relationships, not only between the old and new generations, but also amongst those that will be continuing the families as the elder members pass away. Teaching the new generation to honor old family traditions can help to preserve the family through the years, even through the times when its members cannot gather together, fostering a sense of belonging that will be a source of joy for years to come.

By Abraham Antony

The fate of the family - Forums delve into two sides of debate

2007-05-09T18:40:00.000+08:00

Forums delve into two sides of debate

By Cheryl WetzsteinThe Washington TimesWASHINGTON

The fate of the family is the focus of two major conferences this month. This weekend at the University of Chicago, the Council on Contemporary Families (CCF) will celebrate its 10th anniversary by presenting the most intriguing research on the American family. The 75 new findings "really highlight how the pressures, promises and dynamics of family life have changed over the past 10 years," said clinical psychologist Joshua Coleman, who edited the CCF report, released today. The CCF report indicates that marriage is becoming more egalitarian and more optional, that many women are satisfied living a single life, and that, despite their workloads, modern parents are spending more time with their children than parents in the "golden era" of the nuclear family in 1965. Married mothers spent 12.9 hours a week caring for their children in 2000, compared with 10.6 hours a week in 1965, while fathers more than doubled their weekly child care from 2.6 hours to 6.5 hours, said research by University of Maryland sociology professor Suzanne M. Bianchi. One big reason, she and her colleagues found: less time spent on housework. CCF speakers this weekend include some 30 family scholars, including Evergreen State College history professor Stephanie Coontz and Philip A. Cowan and Carolyn Pape Cowan, both professors emeritus at the University of California at Berkeley.