Geisha School Dropout

VSP's Eye Got You Covered Campaign

2013-05-16T19:02:42-07:00

Monitoring our vision is a huge priority for the Mangs. Our family is so visually impaired, even our dolls have glasses! Luckily, we are all covered under VSP through Tim's and my employers.

Emi's glasses even match her doll's. Total coincidence, we swear!

So when the Clever Girls asked the contributor community who would like to present the person of their choice with a year's worth of vision coverage, I totally jumped at the chance because I knew exactly who to give it to.

Meet Sonya!

Sonya is a doula, early childhood educator, and nanny extraordinaire, and is also one of my best friends. However, because of the nature of her career, she doesn't receive any healthcare benefits through an employer. Because of the lack of insurance, like many young people today, she forgoes preventative care, and sees an urgent or emergency care doctor when she really needs it. Her story is so frustratingly typical, but hopefully things will change for the better soon.

In the meantime, at least for Sonya, this year's eye exam and a pair of new frames and lenses will be covered by VSP Direct!

To present this to her, Emi and I concocted a game to play. Emi was the optometrist, and one by one, Sonya, Isaac, and I had to read the eye chart she created.

Dr. Emi, Optometrist for the Day, with the world's most difficult eye chart.

Emi remembered from her recent eye exam that we need to read the chart one eye at a time.

After Dr. Emi the Optometrist determined that although Sonya did a great job with the first line of the chart, she started having trouble at the second (admittedly miniscule) line, and will need glasses.

That's when I handed her a card we designed:

Oh Say Can You See...

Whoo hoo!

Wondering what VSP can do for you? “Eye” got you covered. VSP Direct costs as low as 41 cents a day and is a great way for individuals and families to have vision insurance, even if it's not provided through work. Learn more about VSP here.

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Storytime with Emi #3

2013-05-15T10:52:13-07:00

Emi has been writing little stories for her kindergarten teacher every week, and last week's was hilarious:

Did you know my dad has a musl (muscle)? I love my dad. He is kind.

Sometimes he sings too loud.

The Boy Who Made Me a Mother

2013-05-11T13:42:51-07:00

Nine and a half years ago, a ten-and-a-half pound mutant baby burst into the world, transforming me into a mother.

I was always pretty good with kids, having babysat or taught for most of my life, but I never thought I would raise my own. But sometimes fate twists the chaos knob to 11, microscopic odds are not ever in your favor, and two idealistic but not-quite-ripe people become parents.

We were not that great. A lot of our lessons were learned on the fly. Parenting is exhausting, isolating, and expensive. Our youthful energy helped us keep up with this active little bundle of boy at least, which did not make up for the lack of stability, perspective, or life experience, but it was better than nothing.

In one of the early days, I remember rocking Isaac to sleep for the fourth time that evening, the carpals in my arms screaming from overexertion, my thoughts blurred from lack of sleep, wondering when the hell this kid's parents were going to pick him up.

Then, it dawned on me: this kid's parents were never coming. We were it, his alpha and omega, poor thing. Then I felt at once so confused, so put-upon, so honored, and so unworthy of the honor, like the lucky millionth customer winning a lifetime supply of something I didn't know I needed.

Isaac at 4 months

Our humble beginnings as a family

Isaac at around 10 months

Isaac's kindergarten school picture

Smiling for the camera

2013-05-09T14:25:53-07:00

My daughter is not who you would describe as a happy girl, and sometimes I worry about that.

But I know she is also often a loving, creative, and playful person, just not all the time, and hardly ever in front of a camera lens.

Maybe I should instead wonder why we expect our children to be "happy" all the time.

But for now, here's to the quiet, serious kids. You are equally beautiful and don't ever have to fake a smile for the camera.

I just published a book...really limited edition

2013-05-08T21:27:10-07:00

So limited, in fact, that only one copy exists in the world!

I had a coupon I needed to use up for a photo book, so I decided to gather together some of my favorite Instagrams of the kids and assemble them into a storybook. Both of them tend to focus on the negative, so I hope this book can help them remember some of the good experiences they've had.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Shutterfly offers exclusive layouts and designs so you can make your book just the way you want.

Of all the nerve!

2013-05-02T14:43:06-07:00

Just in case I've only been reporting on the endearing and awesome things my kids do, this just happened:

I have always given my kids a bit of a long leash. No more! I have taken one step closer towards helicopter parenting.

Isaac lied to me!

His class is currently reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for school. Reading comprehension homework questions are now to be answered via class wiki, and he spent a couple hours yesterday and more than one hour today on it, which puzzled me. In the past, these questions are generally answerable in 1-2 sentences, and there are maybe 5 at most.

Of course, I asked him periodically if he needed help. Maybe he was having some trouble with the concept of a wiki? But he assured me over and over that he was struggling a bit figuring things out, but was fine. I wanted to respect his boundaries and have him learn on his own, but I just checked his screen to see what all the fuss was about.

Turns out he was just playing stupid stick figure flash games. He hasn't even finished the reading. ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!!! Or in our case, he has to work right next to me until I can trust him again, which is worse because I haven't showered yet.

I almost died giving birth to that lying son of a gun. Harrumph.

Our Hyundai Santa Fe Epic Playdate Experience

2013-05-01T14:38:27-07:00

Last Saturday, we were in for an incredible treat: an Epic Playdate, with activities led by some of the best-known parents in the blogosphere!

The invitation was mum on details, other than to show up at 9:00 am dressed for play, and all food and drink will be provided by Hyundai. We had the kids go to bed in activewear, as it would be an early start.

Tim and I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, carried the kids to the car, and set sail for Dos Pueblos Ranch in Goleta (20 minutes outside of Santa Barbara). The car ride up was refreshingly uneventful, given Emi's penchant for backseat barfing (we always travel with a bucket for this reason).

We had no idea what to expect, but our imaginations ran wild: will there be bass guitar lessons by Flea? Would jumping out of airplanes be involved? Would we represent different districts and have to slay each other in wilderness combat for a chance to eat lunch?

Luckily for us, it was none of the above (actually, the bass guitar lessons would have been cool). It was so low-key, all the activities were family-bonding-centric and easy to replicate at home, and most importantly, the kids had a BLAST! This is a small subset of what we experienced:

Emi took this gorgeous photo during Dooce's nature photography walk! I love how she framed the shot!

Isaac's Foil Viking team, the Foil Fighters, won the whipped cream beard relay led by the goofy dudes from How to Be a Dad.

Emi and her paper rocket professor, Mark Frauenfelder, editor-in-chief of Make Magazine and founder of BoingBoing (said Emi: "I want to be a rocket scientist because I'm good at it!"). Mark rigged up a foot pump, some PVC piping, and a lovely red button to make the rocket launcher. The look on Emi's face, as she pressed that button, craning her neck to see her rocket disappear for a bit into the sky, was priceless.

Emi filling out our section of the sand art "quilt" led by Say Yes to Hoboken.

Isaac at Epic Hula Hoop Bubble Making class, taught by Oh Happy Day.

Emi illustrating a collaborative poem ("My dog is a cute dog. My dog is a hot dog.") from the Poetry in Motion class taught by Girl's Gone Child.

Isaac loved playing Epic Volleyball using beach balls and blankets taught by Oh Joy.

But wait! There was SO much more! Here is a slideshow of the rest:

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Signs Daenerys Targaryen is Actually Asian

2013-04-24T22:53:04-07:00

Tim and I are huge Game of Thrones fans, and the final scenes of this week's episode sent us into fits of fanboy glee. Without giving too much away, Daenerys Targaryen, tiny little Mother of Dragons, kicked major ass.

In the series, the character is played by British actress Emilia Clarke and the UK's entire supply of lip-plumping gloss, but I think she just might be Asian, at least on the inside. I present my evidence below:

1. Daenerys has silver-blonde hair, violet eyes, and dark eyebrows. You know who also had blonde hair, violet contact lenses, and dark eyebrows? Any Asian girl in her early college years.

Those eyebrows don't lie: total bottle blonde.

2. Daenerys married a foreign man who was much more sexually experienced than she was. When confronted by her own sexual ignorance, what did she do? SHE GOT A TUTOR. I totally would have too, and my mom would have paid for it.

There's a cram school for everything these days.

3. Girlfriend is not afraid to eat blood and organ meat. She once ate a raw horse heart with an enthusiasm that would make any tiger mom proud.

And she did this while pregnant with a son! Bonus tiger mom points.

4. She can spend the night inside a bonfire like it's no big deal (thus earning her the title The Unburnt). At the Korean sauna, there is one especially hot room called the bulgama which is usually set to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, and little grandmas hang out in there like that's no big deal. (True story: one time, Tim braved the bulgama but forgot to take off his glasses beforehand. When he came out, he noticed odd things with his vision...it turned out his LENSES MELTED.)

Dany awaits her scrub-down at the jjimjilbang.

5. She has a tendency to fall in love with and adopt everything she runs into: dragon eggs, the Dothraki horde, slave armies, etc. But sometimes, she has trouble taking care of them all. I also have a problem with this, although I don't know if this is a generalized Asian tendency. Let's discuss.

Dragons bring her luck, just like any good Asian!

6. (WARNING: this one is spoiler-ish) In this last episode, Daenarys totally pulled the Asian trick where people were talking shit about her in Valyrian, thinking she wouldn't understand, and she went along with it until the time came for her to make her move. Then she busts out with fluent Valyrian, and rubs their ignorance in their faces with savoir flare, heh heh heh. I've totally done that with both English and Spanish before. Sometimes you gotta let the stereotypes work for you, you know?

How do you say "You're so fucked" in YOUR language?

Storytime with Emi #2

2013-04-10T18:14:08-07:00

A couple months shy of finishing kindergarten, Emi is almost fully literate, and writes storybooks for fun. Today, she was struck with inspiration to dictate a poem with the refrain "If the flowers blow in the wind". I have no idea where she comes up with this stuff, this girl is just a hoot.

The cover: my favorite detail is the wind spelling "I love you"!

"If the Flowers Blow in the Wind" by Emi, age 6

If the flowers blow in the wind
I will mend them all
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would catch them in my arms of the tree branch
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would make the wind and catch them on my own
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would sleep on them as my pillow
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would catch them and live on them all
If the flowers blow in the wind
And someone camouflaged in the tree, I would climb up the tree and catch them in my hands
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would always see them go.

If the flowers blow in the wind
I would ride them to my home
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would ride them to school and play with them
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would tape them to my dinner plate
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would nab them and take them to a special place
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would take them to my room and sleep with them through the night
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would touch them and put them in my crown
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would race them to my building where we would work together.

If the flowers blow in the wind
I would love them and take care of them like little tiny babies who were just born
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would catch them and give them to my brother
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would catch them and paint them purple as my name
If the flowers blow in the wind
I would catch them in my arms and sit down in my rocking chair.

Beyond the Bad and the Ugly, and On Birthday Suits and Birth Rights

2013-04-05T14:09:57-07:00

We interrupt this stagnating front page to bring you some news!

I was honored to speak at a panel a couple weekends ago at Beyond the Bad and the Ugly: the first-ever summit on Asian American stereotypes, organized by Jeff Yang of the Wall Street Journal, hosted by the Japanese American National Museum. Our session was called "Taming Tigers: Stereotypes in Parenting and Education," and it was such a life-affirming experience. My fellow panelists spoke with such heart and wisdom, and the whole room felt like one family.

I also have an essay up on the front page of BlogHer today titled "On Birthday Suits and Birth Rights," a response to Margaret Cho's recent experience at a Korean spa in Los Angeles. It's my first piece that was thoroughly editted by a real-live editor, and I am so floored by how she made me sound like a real writer. Please check it out!