So you can’t look at the Five Finger Fillet Steak Knives (Perpetual Kid, $59.99) as just a set of knives because they’re so much more than that. Sure, this set of six stainless steel knives can be used traditionally for meals and such, but you’ve got to think outside the box. With such a creative presentation, the first thing that comes to my mind is self defense. I mean, they’re super sharp, durable, and apparently fit very nicely either between someone’s fingers or in the middle of their hand. Now that I think about it, these would probably work for some kind of circus act. You know, like a knifethrower and his lovely assistant? Just think of how awesome that would be!

See, the trick here is to look at the bottom line and then divide it by how many “deals” you’re getting. These can range from the blatantly obvious (2 shirts for $25, divide by 2), slightly more creative (one dress equals an entire outfit so divide by 2 or 3), and the generally absurd (spending $250 to get free shipping when all you wanted was one $40 item).

3 out of 5 stars.

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Fluctuations in your core body temperature are known to disrupt your sleep patterns, something the Temperature Regulating Blanket (Hammacher Schlemmer, $99.95 – $149.95) seeks to remedy. No one likes going to bed in a perfect homeostasis only to wake up drenched in sweat, especially when you’re sharing the bed with someone else. Then it gets even more difficult to figure out the perfect sleep temperature so that everyone is comfortable. Inevitably, someone will wake up in the middle of the night completely miserable because of a preventable temperature issue. To that end, this blanket utilizes millions of invisible microcapsules along with the aid of NASA technology to keep you content while you sleep. How it works is that the excess heat from your body is absorbed by the blanket when you’re warm and then that stored heat is released when your body temperature drops. This makes it ideal of two people as the fabric will adjust to each individual’s micro-climate without disturbing the other.

Those NASA guys sure know their stuff. I mean, who else would have thought of using a blanket to cool themselves down? It’s either the dumbest or the smartest idea I’ve ever heard. I’ll get back to you when I decide which.

5 out of 5 stars.

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While the Recording Car Note Pad (Taylor Gifts, $19.98) isn’t really implementing any groundbreaking technology, its simple design has everything a driver needs to take notes on the go. Windshield mounted via suction cup, this notepad has your standard book of notepaper as well as removable pen. I mean, a reminder isn’t very helpful if the only place you can read it is in the car, now is it? The notepad also features a built-in light for when you need to take notes in the dark (driving directions come to mind). But arguably the most important feature is the hands-free recording device. With the touch of a button, you can record important memos, messages, directions, etc. The device allows you to keep your mind on the road while at the same time making it easier than ever to keep track of your honey-do list.

What a fantastic idea, right? So fantastic, in fact, that all those smartphones out there got in on the action. Now you can’t throw a stick without hitting some sort of mobile device that does anything and everything (besides making phone calls, that is). So it’s up to you – spend $200 on some tricked out phone that will become obsolete in a few months or $20 on a little piece of technology that never goes out of style.

3 out of 5 stars.

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I’m not gonna say that the best part about the Snap Wall Photo Frames (Wrapables, $18.95) is that they’re pretty cheap, but it certainly falls into the plus column. This photo frame set comes with nine molded white plastic frames, shaped just like vintage Polaroid photographs. The bottom section of the frame is a white dry erase surface so you can change your picture captions as often as you change your photos. Each photo frame mounts to the wall with a simple tack, so you won’t have to worry about putting giant holes in your rented wall space. The only downside is that the set doesn’t include a dry erase marker. Not a huge deal as they’re fairly inexpensive, but it’s like really, you couldn’t just throw one in there? What’s up with that?

I am a big fan of fun artwork. The best part about these frames is that they’re totally unexpected and pretty much unlike anything anyone else has at their apartment. Because let’s be honest, decorating your home is really all about competing with your friends to see whose place is the most awesome. This is one giant leap into Awesometown.

4 out of 5 stars.

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In an effort to help you not look like a crazed lunatic, the Screwpop 4-in-1 Tool (Amazon, $4.95) is a fun-sized gadget that fits comfortably on your keychain. With four unique tools, it’s hard to imagine a task that you can’t conquer with the help of this tool! Well, ok, that’s not really true, but you can do a few things with it. The tool includes two kinds of screwdrivers, Phillips and Flathead, that fit into a cylindrical shaft. When the cylindrical shaft is emptied, it serves as a hex driver that can tighten loose bolts. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, the top ring sports a notch that serves as a bottle opener. With all these items in one small yet convenient location, you’ll be able to fix things/drink booze with little to no effort.

Imagine all the times you’ll save the day with your magical device! Somebody need a beer opened? I’m there! Got a screw loose? Phillips or Flathead, I’m on it! Need a loose bolt tightened? Move over! Um, that’s about it.

5 out of 5 stars.

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The Magic Wand Remote Control (Firebox, $69.95) will give you just a dash of physical movement while still allowing you to retain your lazy roots. And it’s freaking awesome! Sorry, but it had to be said. I mean, it’s a remote control shaped like a magic wand – how cool is that?! And not only is it shaped like a magic wand, but you actually have to perform spell-like movements in order for the remote control to work. This is where your heart-pumping exercise comes into play. With 13 predefined gestures, this wand can learn up to 13 infrared codes from your existing remote. All you have to do is match the gesture to the desired command. So say you want to turn the volume down, you might roll the wand between your thumb and forefinger in a counterclockwise direction. You can control basically any infrared device, like your TV or stereo, just by letting the wand learn the commands. Pretty simple, right?

Now, I don’t want you overdoing it. Take your time learning those commands and if you feel yourself getting weak, let someone else change the channel for awhile.

5 out of 5 stars.

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For all the lazy environmental activists out there, the Eco Button (Latest Buy, $19.95) can help you do your part. Basically, this gadget works with your computer to save energy by shutting down all functions that draw power from your computer except for the very minimum amount of memory it needs to run. Think your hibernation mode is saving enough energy? Think again. This button allows your computer to run on just 1.8 watts of power, keeping energy costs down and, most importantly, saving you some cash. All you have to do is plug the button into your computer via the USB port, download the software from the official website, and you’re ready to start saving energy with the push of a button. And unlike shutting down your computer or putting it into hibernation, you can easily take your computer out of “ecomode” by pressing any button on the keyboard. Your computer will immediately resume functioning and it’ll even tell you just how much energy and money you’ve saved during the latest “ecomode” process.

Come on, how simple does this sound? One push of a button, and you’re helping save the world. It’s a whole lot easier than that stupid recycling nonsense, right? Might as well just stop that all together. Then again, it probably couldn’t hurt to double your efforts.

5 out of 5 stars.

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Reinforcements have arrived! The R2-D2 USB Humidifier (ThinkGeek, $19.99) is a tiny life-saving device! Alright, so maybe “life-saving” is a little dramatic, but you know what I mean. This little guy plugs right into my computer’s USB port and instantly goes to work to create a moister atmosphere. I’m not saying that it’s going to make the whole room feel less like the Sahara, but it will help your skin feel less scaly. Also, dry air is a common culprit for aggravating cold and sinus issues, so it may alleviate some of those nasty health problems as well. And don’t think I forgot the most important thing – it’s shaped like R2-D2! I mean, hello! Is there really anything else you need to know?

Just picture it: you’re sitting at your desk at work with your miniature R2-D2 humidifying away, happy as a clam. And then there’s everyone else, with their alligator skin and severe congestion, trying in vain to make it through the day. Who would you rather be?

4 out of 5 stars.

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For our friends out there with feline companions, there’s the Cat-In-A-Can (Perpetual Kid, $11.99). Everyone else, you’re shit out of luck. This kitty can travel with your wherever you go and is very low maintenance. I mean, you don’t have to feed it, worry about it scratching up the furniture, or even empty its nonexistent litter box. It probably has something to do with the fact that this kitty is inflatable, but I’ll let you decide that one for yourself. So you can give this plastic kitty all the love and attention you would give your faithful felines at home, thus assuaging any possible guilt for temporarily abandoning them while you have the time of your life on vacation.

Ok, so now that you’ve solved your animal problem, the only issue left here is do your friends and family know that you’re a crazy cat connoisseur? Because that’s gonna be pretty tough for deny once your show up in Vegas with an inflatable pussycat.

3 out of 5 stars.

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Instead of giving up on answering my phone calls, I decided to give it a go with the Bluetooth Watch (Chinavasion, $56.34). Not only is it a stylin’ and fully functional timepiece, this watch will actually alert you to incoming phone calls. Using Bluetooth technology to sync to your phone, this watch will vibrate when your phone rings and it’ll even tell you who’s calling! Sure, there are other Bluetooth bracelets out there, but that’s all they are, bracelets. Who needs that when you could have your own personal caller ID on your wrist? With an active range of up to 10 meters, you don’t even have to be super close to your phone in order for it to work.

This watch is perfect for when you’re at work. Just picture it: you’re waiting for an important call from your doctor, but you’re not allowed to use your cell while you’re working the sales floor. Just then, your watch vibrates and you see that Dr. Whosit is calling to let you know your test results, so you make up some excuse about running to the bathroom and jet out to take the call. Amazing, right? Now if only it could do something about this rash…

5 out of 5 stars.

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