Funny & Interesting Email Forwards

Deer Hunting

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 16:19:57 PST

Getting ready for deer season I did all my prep-work early. I scouted the area all summer. I searched out the best location for my tree-stand. I set it all up a month ahead of time. I trailed the...

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Three Men and a River

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 15:46:17 PST

Three men were hiking through a forest When they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength to cross the...

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An Obituary for Common Sense

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 15:07:12 PST

An Obituary for Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth...

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Difficult Read

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 05:06:31 PDT

If you can read this you have a strong mind: 7H15 M3554G353RV35 7O PR0V3H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4ND0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG17 WA5 H4RD BU7N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3Y0UR M1ND 1SR34D1NG...

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Life is a Gift

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:50:52 PST

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she...

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Sherlock Holmes

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:46:00 PST

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at...

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Two Hunter's

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 09:45:11 PST

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My...

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A Blond and Her Rolls Royce

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 07:51:00 PST

A blond walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need...

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Racial Truths

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 07:46:00 PST

10 Truths Black And Hispanic People Know, But White People Won’t Admit: 1. Elvis is dead. 2. Jesus was not White. 3. Rap music is here to stay 4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. 5. Skinny...

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Dear Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 09:45:00 PST

Letter home from school... Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like,...

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Smart Words

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 07:44:23 PST

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In a democracy it's...

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Holiday Eating Tips

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 08:10:55 PST

Holiday Eating Tips 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where...

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Don't Mess With Italian Mothers

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 09:59:04 PST

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is....

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12 Things My Mom Taught Me

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 11:10:43 PST

1 – APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside; I’ve only just finished cleaning.” 2 – TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t behave, I’m going to knock you into the middle of...

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The Veterinarian

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 09:06:30 PDT

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as...

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The Difference Between Heaven and Hell

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:42:35 PDT

Heaven is a place where the police are English; the chefs are Italian; the car mechanics are German; the lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is a place where the police are...

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How Flight Announcements Should Be

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:13:28 PDT

“To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in...

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A Letter From Home

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 08:44:33 PDT

Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I’m writing this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. We are all doing very well. You won’t recognize the house when you...

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50 Things I Learned from the Movies

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 07:12:08 PDT

1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. 2. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. 3. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think...

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You're Next

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 06:26:19 PDT

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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Babies at 65

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 14:22:11 PDT

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. "May I see...

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Skinny Dipping

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 08:51:52 PDT

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts,...

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50 Easy April Fool's Day Pranks

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 12:03:49 PDT

April Fool’s Day is one of the best days of the year. On no other day are you “legally” allowed to play jokes and pranks on your friends, family and co-workers and have a built-in excuse. Some people...

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Dear Genitals

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 16:09:17 PST

Dear Genitals, Thank you for not bleeding every month. You're the best. Sincerely, A Man

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More Creative Voicemail Messages

noreply@blogger.com (Nifty Nick) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:12:00 PDT

I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. So please leave a message after the tone. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message...

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