56 “Blessed be God, who has given peace to his people Israel just as he said he’d do. Not one of all those good and wonderful words that he spoke through Moses has misfired.57 May God, our very own God, continue to be with us just as he was with our ancestors—may he never give up and walk out on us.58 May he keep us centered and devoted to him, following the life path he has cleared, watching the signposts, walking at the pace and rhythms he laid down for our ancestors.59 “And let these words that I’ve prayed in the presence of God be always right there before him, day and night, so that he’ll do what is right for me, to guarantee justice for his people Israel day after day after day.60 Then all the people on earth will know God is the true God; there is no other God.61 And you, your lives must be totally obedient to God, our personal God, following the life path he has cleared, alert and attentive to everything he has made plain this day.”

A return to regular blogging should occur next week!

Lately, I have been worrying a lot and going through some stressful stuff. For example, my wife is losing her job next week, she is pregnant with our child and the baby is having some serious problems, and so on. All of these things make me wonder why God would let this happen. I have been praying a lot, but it has not been getting better. And then this morning, I was reading my Bible and Jesus showed me something that really helped out.

Jesus had some friends named Lazarus and Martha. Then Lazarus got sick. Martha knew that Jesus could do a miracle so she sent for him and she said: If you had been here, Lazarus would be healed. But Jesus did not come. The bible says this: “When Jesus got the message, he said, ‘This sickness is not fatal. It will become an occasion to show God’s glory by glorifying God’s son.’”

Wow. That jacked me up. The situation looked so bad from Martha’s perspective, but Jesus knew that God was going to use the terrible situation to make his name more famous and to show people his love and his power.

The story goes on to say that Jesus loved them but “oddly” did not come for another 2 days. By the time Jesus arrived, Lazarus had been dead for 4 days. Martha still believed that if Jesus had come, Lazarus would have lived…but Jesus had an even bigger plan to show God’s power in an even bigger way than Martha had asked. So Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead, back to life. By waiting 4 days, he had given the whole village time to know that Lazarus was dead, which made it even more amazing when they found out he was alive.

Maybe God is doing the same thing for us. By me wondering how we will pay the bills or worrying about the health of my child for so long, Jesus is creating an opportunity for him to do a miracle. I don’t know if Jesus will heal my child or not. I don’t know if someone is going to hand my wife a great job or a check for $10,000, but I do know that he is somehow going to prove his love for me and for everyone through our situation. It will probably take longer than I want. And it might not happen how I think it will. Maybe instead of my child being perfect, God will use the way I love my child in spite of what is wrong with him to show people a great story of what love really means. I don’t know.

Here is the best part of the story though…Martha replied to Jesus: “I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time.” See, when Jesus said that he would raise Lazarus up, she thought he meant that someday Lazarus would go to heaven, but Jesus explained to her that no one has to wait for the end of the world or their death to be raised up. He said: “I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all.”

This is true for everyone here and everyone in the world today. You do not have to wait for something bad. You do not have to wait until you need a miracle. Today, right now…Jesus wants you to believe in him so that he can give you a promise of life forever with him in heaven and so that he can be a part of your life now. He will not make your life perfect or give you everything you ask for. My life right now is proof of that. But he will do what is best for you and what will show his love to everyone he can.

Let’s pray.

I love how many times in 1 Timothy that Paul writes about ignoring :godless myths and old wives’ tales” and other such things. It is awesome that we are given permission, and in fact commanded, to blow off people’s BS. I love that fact so much. The church has wasted way too much time for way too long arguing with people over stupid crap. If it isn’t from God it isn’t true and it isn’t worth my time, energy, and resources.

I am a huge fan the part about pastors deserving to be well paid. Not because I want a lot of money, but because I believe it is true. Again, for far too long, the church has believed that pastors are here to be used up, abused, and tossed aside. Pastors are servants, for sure. But we wonder why we get tired, burnt out, used up, exhausted churches…it is because we have tired, burnt out, used up, exhausted pastors! We expect pastors to give up worldly pursuits (ridiculous) to work more hours, be on call every moment of every day, make it to every potluck, wedding, dinner, etc (more ridiculous), sacrifice time with their family, friends, and any sort of normal life (still more ridiculous), and then we want to them do all of this for basically jack and still somehow communicate excitedly, effectively, and relevantly every Sunday when we have removed them from spending time with the people they are supposed to communicate to. Insane. If you want the best churches, then hire the best leaders, workers, etc. If you want them, go to the world and hire the best person for the job and give them more money, more benefits, and so on than the world will. Then will do the best job and our churches will be better than MTV and all that stuff.

Ok, you get the idea. Rant over.

Praying today for: Roman’s house, Cody, Josh and Jen, my future child, my awesome wife, NLC to blow up even bigger this week than last week, for churches to start treating every Sunday like Easter (man I am glad to be a part of a church that does that! – do I smell a future blog?)

I was talking to Tiffany last night right after I first heard the news…and I remember saying something like: “Why Dan? It just seems like all the crap happens to some people.” I will never understand God, and sometimes I am not sure why I try. Very few people in my family have died, none that I was really close to. My parents got divorced, but I was really little and I don’t really remember it. And then I look at Dan, a whole side of his family has died young (largely from heart problems). His parents got divorced when he was in college. And so on. It just isn’t fair. I know he doesn’t think so, but he is so strong. I don’t know if I could go through what he has been through and be like him. He loves Jesus like few people I know in spite of it all. People have walked away from God over much less. He inspires me with his dedication, his strength, his attitude, and so much more.

Praying for: Dan, Dan, Dan, Josh, Jeremy & Amber, great friends, Allen & Maegan, Ben & Katie, Andrew & Tiff, Cam, Katherine, thankful for my whole family, NLC, and Dan some more.

This is just a plain old crazy, weird thought. How can I bless God? He is so much bigger and greater than I am! But bless literally comes from “kneel” so blessing God actually simply means bowing before him, humbling myself, offering him control. So this verse is my prayer today: may I be humbled before God, allowing him to do the work, and me to submit to his will. May I be less and he become all.

Praying for: More Jesus

“I’ve worked up such hunger and thirst for God,
      traveling across dry and weary deserts.”

What a cool thought! We can choose how we take life’s trials and struggles. We can take the dry and tiring times as pain, suffering, and waste…or we can choose to let them increase our desire for God. So often, when I feel distant from God, I let that time go to waste, but maybe God puts us in those seasons to increase our longing for him. Sort of like the old saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” For those we truly love, being away from them reminds us how much we care and we love them passionately when we get back.

” If I’m sleepless at midnight,
      I spend the hours in grateful reflection.”

This one really needs no reflection, but for someone who often lays sleepless at night, mind wandering, this is a challenge. I so often pray that God would slow mind enough for me to sleep and rest well (and there is nothing wrong with that), but what if I spent that time drawing closer to God in prayer, worship, etc? Something for me to try.

Praying for: Sunday, Josh, Roman’s house, Katherine, more of Jesus

Psalm 51:7-17…

Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,
      scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.
   Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
      set these once-broken bones to dancing.
   Don’t look too close for blemishes,
      give me a clean bill of health.
   God, make a fresh start in me,
      shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
   Don’t throw me out with the trash,
      or fail to breathe holiness in me.
   Bring me back from gray exile,
      put a fresh wind in my sails!
   Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
      so the lost can find their way home.
   Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
      and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
   Unbutton my lips, dear God;
      I’ll let loose with your praise. 
Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
      a flawless performance is nothing to you.
   I learned God-worship
      when my pride was shattered.
   Heart-shattered lives ready for love
      don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.

Psalm 62:1-2

God, the one and only— I’ll wait as long as he says.
   Everything I need comes from him,
      so why not?
   He’s solid rock under my feet,
      breathing room for my soul,
   An impregnable castle:
      I’m set for life.

I really can not even right everything that comes to mind for me here, but it is all beautiful. I really enjoy the freshness of reading the Message because this do not have that recognizable feel, and I really got a lot of that this morning. Sometimes the “prettiness” of the language is not as strong, but the metaphors are so powerful. All I can really say is how I am feeling after reading these:

• Thank God for his grace and forgiveness because I screw up a lot
• I have no idea why he does it, but I am so grateful for him choosing to use me
• I am continually amazed and honored to get to be a part of what God is doing
• My pride still needs to be shattered even more so I can learn to worship him better
• I love seeing “shattered” lives ready for his love
• “I’m set for life” as long as I have God

Great stuff.

Praying about: Kassandra, being a daddy, Regal, Roman’s house/job, Ramona, Adam, Katie, youth group

Um…I wasn’t sure how to take that when I read it, and I am even less sure now. It’s a pretty intense picture Kreeft draws, but it is the truth of the book of Job. Job is the one who is most critical of God, most angry, most passionate, yet he is the one that God favors and blesses. I think it is because he was the most real. Sometimes we are scared to be real with God. I don’t want to be like that. What is the point of hiding from someone who is everywhere and knows everything? Yet, I try. Weird. Sad, actually.

We all have moments when we become like the friends – in a polite nonmarriage with God – and that is the worst. That is the lukewarm state that makes God want to puke. Terrible. The worst. By far. I want to be hot and I know sometimes I might be cold, but I never want to be in the middle. I want to be angry with passion and happy with passion. Passion reflects that we care, that God matters, and that the relationship matters. May I always care passionately and deeply.

Last night, I was talking with Josh and he shared something awesome, all of which I will not recount here, but the main point was this… Sometimes we let “Jesus name” or something similar becoming the ending, not the power through which we pray. In the same way, a lot of times we end a phone call  with “I love you” but we might not really mean it because we say it so much. It is not that we do not love them, it is just that it becomes words without feeling because it is routine. And in the same way, our relationship with God can even become like that from time to time, routine, not meaningless, but more empty than full, more ritual than robust. But when we are in a moment of intensity, those last words take on much more meaning. The “I love you” when you are apart for a week on a trip or about to get on an airplane becomes much more intense. The “goodbye” before someone goes into surgery or moves away is pregnant with meaning, ready to burst with emotion. And Jesus had a chance to deliver some final words before he knew he was about to depart from his disciples. He could have said anything, but, like all of us, he chose to say what he cared about most. Just as we would tell our spouse how much we love them before going off on a dangerous adventure or before leaving for a long time, Jesus told his disciples what mattered most to him. And what did he say? He said that he died so lost people could be saved. He said he lived and died and rose again so that his followers (that is us) would give up everything to make sure that everyone heard about his love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. What matters most to Jesus is that everyone gets a chance to hear about his offer of eternity with him and a deep, powerful, and REAL relationship with him! Is that what matters most to us?

Praying for: Roman & Michelle’s house to sell, doctor’s appointment, Josh, my humility, Jeremy & Amber, Regal, NLC volunteers, my awesome wife, my office to magically clean itself, www.phonyfaith.com, Ramona, Alicia, everyone who needs to hear about the love of Jesus, Krysten, Marty…

Listening to this beautiful song by Lee McDerment on super-repeat:

Love is air,
It’s like breathing in
It’s like filling up about to break, then giving in It’s like light,
You can see it from far away
A match light in the dark,
Becoming light of day
It’s just love and it’s everything
It’s a battle you fight and song you sing
It’s just love
And you know it’s true
But you might not know it when it happens to you
Love is tough
It’s like surgery
Twisting all the crocked parts of you
Into marvelous symmetry
It’s like heat
You can feel it in the bitter night
A thing that stings your fingers
It’s a forest fire It’s just love and it’s everything
It’s a battle you fight and song you sing
It’s just love
And you know it’s true
But you might not know it when it happens to you

Man, it is super crazy when God seems to sort of have a “theme” to everything you hear and read and talk about it. That has definitely been happening for me lately, and this passage was the latest part of that this morning…

I have come to realize that a big part of what is most annoying about me – the need to be right and tell people so, etc – is rooted in the fact that I actually think I am right. Here is what I need to recognize: I am not always right. In fact, I am pretty often wrong. And even when I am not wrong, I don’t have to be right…it is possible to have an idea and it not be right or wrong, but just one of many viable options.

See, big shock coming here, I am not as smart as God. Weirdly, that was almost hard for me to write. I am just beginning to realize the depth of the pride and arrogance that lies below the surface inside of me. In my head I know I am not always right, but in my heart I am not sure if I believe it yet. I really want to be humble. Josh told me something really helpful last week – I need to stop trying to change the behavior (correcting everyone, delivering thoughts in a less than palatable way, etc) and start asking God to change the heart which is causing the behavior. So, that is what I am doing…God make me humble!

Things I am praying for: Josh, humility, Leslie, Sarah, David, Erika, Dan, NLC, Bobby, Danny/Lisa, Katie K, the awesome cards that got pinned to the cross yesterday, my future child.