Friend In Reach

Resolution for 2012: De-Friend Your Fears!

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 22:48:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

We all have New Year’s resolutions we intend to stick to. Mine are to once and for all stop yo-yo dieting and to be open to new experiences and I am off to a good start! I am inspired by great quotes that motivate me, and I’ve seen two on Facebook recently (thank you Irene!), that I wanted to share for many reasons. The first reminds us that we can’t do anything about the past so stop obsessing about it, and the second reminds us that we control all things that affect us…only we can allow others and situations to make us feel hopeful and fulfilled or inferior and insecure.

For a while now, I have been dealing with something huge, personally. Probably 98% of the people I know have no clue what I am going through because I am like a duck on a pond. On the surface, everything looks great- perfect and calm, but underneath I am paddling like hell! I totally [think I] give the impression that I am always in control and nothing can hurt me. Some think I over-share with every little emotion, but that’s not true. Some things- really big things- should remain personal and private, and how you handle them within your own four walls is the true measure of strength. Some things are too big and scary to face head on but I am a firm believer that in order to live an honest and fulfilled life, there’s no other way.

I sometimes wear a coat of armor with people I don’t know well or trust to protect my feelings and insecurities and I know others do the same with me. But everyone has a story and a struggle. Everyone’s pain and strife is relative to their life. It’s the relationships we have without that armor that are most cherished. It’s the relationships we have where you can have a disagreement and get past it that matter the most. Unfortunately though and in many cases, a lot of assumption happens and sadly, the easier choice in how to deal with each other is to just not care or have empathy & understanding for the other person. Unfortunately, I do that more than I would like to admit and it’s not something I'm proud of. It’s easier to assume rather than ask for the truth. People are busy working, trying to raise families and deal with their own lives, that we sometimes forget everyone just wants to be loved and belong…the point being, that comes from within us! As I tell the twins all the time when they tell me they feel insecure or scared about doing things like making new friends in school or approaching someone on the playground, “All those kids feel the same way as you!”

It’s easy to get caught up in the negative- to doubt ourselves and to listen to and accept what others say about us...especially if it’s bad. Why can’t we listen to and accept when others say great things? When someone says you are beautiful, accept it and say thank you! When someone wants to hear your story, be open! When someone asks about your hopes and dreams, it means they are interested. But as my friend Carla reminded me the other night of something Maya Angelou said, “when someone shows you who they really are, you better believe them the first time.” Have the confidence to let those relationships go and move on. If someone is bringing you down and not making your life better and more beneficial, and if they are not willing to do the work to create peace and harmony based on understanding and respect of all views, have the confidence to say, “I’ve had enough!”

I want honesty and clarity in my life. I want to be a good person and enjoy my children. I want to be surrounded by kindness and love, and when I’m not, I will feel comfortable saying goodbye to people and situations that create that disconnect. I want to stop being so hard on myself. But am I doing all I can to be understanding and not judge? Am I allowing people to be themselves in my presence, and am I being my true self with them? How many of us ask that question enough? I watch Joyce Meyer every day and she inspires me to face my fears. She tells me to be confident and to have faith and so I wake up each day and try to do better. As Maya Angelou also once said, “When you know better, you do better.”

I’ve spent the last couple of years teetering on a tough road. I’ve had struggles that would surprise everyone. I’ve also had so many amazing experiences and happy times. I have had fortune, love and conquered many fears. I have come to accept that I cannot change others nor do I want to, and just because I think something should be done a certain way, does not mean others share my views. There are some that love me as I am and welcome my advice and opinions. My kids think I am the best (until they get older at least! haha) and my parents love me and tell me so all the time. How great is that? I am grateful for my life to the core and God knows it. I have done a ton of self reflection- I am doing my part.

I believe we should be honest. I believe we have a responsibility to live our best life because we only get one! I believe we should be kind and show compassion because we never know when we may need it in return. I believe we have to give to get and that blood is not thicker than a really staid and true friendship. I believe we should be grateful for every moment and every blessing and wish the same for others. I believe how we raise our children is our most important job. I believe in God and I know I am loved.

On www.notsalmon.com, Karen Salmansohn shares a lot of great sayings. Two of my favorites are, “View your life with kindsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking, “What was I thinking?,” breathe and ask yourself the kinder question, “What was I learning?” And the other, “De-friend your fears,” is fantastic! Hence the title of this blog….

The following post really inspired today’s writing:

Rules for 2012:
Stand up for yourself. You are a person, not a doormat.
Stop loving someone who doesn't love you back the same way. You aren't a saint. You're a fool.
Don't chase anything. Let it come to you. That's how you know it was meant to be yours.
Put to bed old dreams that no longer bring you passion, and wake up to the ones that do.
Say goodbye to anything that doesn't serve your highest good, so you have room to welcome what does.
Focus your thoughts and actions on what you want, not what you don't want.
Give your energy to yourself first, then others. Just like those oxygen masks on a plane. You can't save anyone if you are already dead.
Love yourself first, honor yourself first, respect yourself first, and others will feel safe enough in your presence to do likewise.
Dream bigger. You'd be surprised how often you end up with the level of your expectations, so why the hell not expect the biggest and the best.
Don't ride anyone's coattails or hitch your wagon to anyone else's star. They have their own damn wings. Let them learn to fly on their own.
Be an inspiration, not an irritation.
Share your mistakes so others might learn from them, too.
Open your heart, but keep good boundaries.
Trust yourself.
Listen to your gut.
And don't forget to breathe. ~Marie D Jones

I am going to start off the New Year by reading this daily. I am going to open myself up to new experiences and people. I am going to focus on the good. I am going to be kinder, honest and I’m going to worry about what others think about me less. I am not going to lower my standards for anyone. I am going to do my best and give 100% because I find value in how I represent myself and my family. I am going to continue watching Joyce every day and thank God for all I have been given. I am going to continue spending time doing things that make my life better and I’m going to love my husband and children.

Happy New Year!! May you all have the peace and clarity to see your path to happiness. May you have the strength to make the changes that allow you to live your best life. May you all have the ability to de-friend your fears!

In peace & love,

Gina

Governor Jerry Brown Approves AB499...How It Affects Our Rights

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:33:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

Are you paying attention? Have you heard about AB499 and do you how it affects your family? If you live in the State of California and you have minor children, your rights have just been jeopardized. Governor Jerry Brown signed this bill into law just this month.

AB499 allows minors as young as twelve to be vaccinated against STD’s, specifically by giving the HPV vaccine Gardasil in prevention against Cervical Cancer and genital warts, without parental consent. That’s right- your child can be vaccinated while at school, even if you have previously refused the vaccine for your child- without you ever being notified or asked if it’s okay first.

The side effects of this vaccine are: Pain, swelling, and redness in the area of the injection, fever, headache, nausea, dizziness, vomiting, cough, toothache, joint pain, insomnia, among a variety of other things. That’s what is usually communicated about the vaccine’s side effects but that’s not the whole truth. A parent deserves to know about a vaccination in full detail so they will be ready if their child experiences any side effects.” http://www.change.org/petitions/overturn-measure-ab499.

In truth, the side effects have been far more crippling. The CDC website http://www.cdc.gov/ states that the following have occurred due to the Gardasil vaccine: 68 death reports, blood clots, and muscle weakness including Guillain-Barré Syndrome. In fact, 102 have died as of August 2011, and 26,000 have injuries ranging up to severe. The CDC website also states, “The most important thing you can do to help prevent cervical cancer is to have regular screening tests.”

But that’s not even the point of this blog. What I am saying is that we should have a choice..whether or not we want to give our children this vaccine and others…and should have a say in what is being done to our children while they are at school.

“It should go without saying that minor children do not have the capacity to make informed medical decisions, especially when these decisions involve weighing the risks of using a drug that has the potential to cause injury and even death.” A child cannot bring aspirin to school for a headache, and young girls cannot bring medication for menstrual cramps, but they are expected to be knowledgeable and decisive about the Gardasil vaccination and its side effects? We have allowed the Pharma/Vaccination lobbyists to have far too much influence over such decisions, and unless we get these Senators’ attention loud and clear, our children may be bullied, harassed, or misinformed into consenting to be vaccinated with something you may have already made the decision as a parent to decline. http://www.nvicadvocacy.org/members/Resources/StopAB499.aspx. I am embarrassed as a California resident, to adnit that we have allowed ourselves to be stripped of our rights! How can we be so apathetic about something so important?

On the same day he signed AB499, California Governor Jerry Brown also signed SB 746, a ‘first-in-the-nation’ law to prevent children under 18 years of age from using tanning beds, and, just a month earlier, he vetoed SB 105, a bill to mandate ski helmets on underage youth, citing his concern with the ‘seemingly inexorable transfer of authority from parents to the state,’ saying, ‘I believe parents have the ability and responsibility to make good choices for their children.’ http://www.genengnews.com/industry-updates/california-catholic-conference-statement-on-gov-brown-s-signature-of-ab-499/131048619/.

So why then, the decision to sign AB499? Especially at a reported average cost of over $360 per treatment and at 100 percent taxpayer expense? Dr. Diane Harper, a former lead researcher for the controversial vaccine, told CBS in 2009 that serious side effects could prove riskier than the HPV it purports to prevent, and that “young girls and their parents should receive more completewarnings before receiving the vaccine.”

Obviously some teens will have sex no matter what they are taught. Some won’t use a condom during sex and some won’t have their annual Pap Smear. There are some teens that do not have parents that are involved in their lives. But at the very least, parents should have the right to be informed or asked before such decisions are made. ALL parents should not be punished for the apathy of a few! That we gave up our right as a state to control such decision-making is shocking to me.

Discussions about vaccines usually turn into arguments about whether or not we should or shouldn’t give them to our kids. AB499 is not about the vaccine, it’s about our parental rights! The state is attempting to assume our role as our child’s parent and this bill should have been stopped. The NVIC had sent two alerts to California residents since June asking them to be aware of and oppose this legislation, yet this bill was stilled approved. What rights will be stripped from us next?

How do you feel about AB499?

Gina

The Wrong Diagnosis

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 20:33:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

In the past three months, I’ve had two occasions where I’ve received the wrong diagnosis through our Urgent Care facility. This is concerning for obvious reasons but also because the after-effects of these missed diagnosis’ could have been avoided.

Wrong Diagnosis #1: Two months ago, my daughter was complaining of a very sore throat, so much so that she could not sleep or get comfortable. She could not eat because it hurt to swallow. She also had a fever that spiked to 104 degrees two nights in a row. On the first night, I called the doctor on duty through my regular doctor’s office and was told that Strep Throat was going around and to monitor her temperature by alternating between Tylenol and Motrin every four hours. Even in doing so, my daughter tossed and turned all night from the sore throat pain. The next morning she seemed to be better and her fever was gone, but I kept her home from Bible School because I didn’t want her to get another child sick. I thought she was on the mend, but then again by dinner time she was beside herself in pain. I know I’m not a doctor, but I am with my kids all day every day so I know when something just isn’t right. Of course, this happened on a Friday night after my regular doctor’s office had closed, so off to Urgent Care I went with two kids in tow. I explained the symptoms to the doctor, and he told me my daughter had a cold. A cold!

I explained the throat discomfort she was having and told him that the doctor on call the night before suggested Strep Throat was going around and asked if he could take a throat culture. The simple fact that I had to ask was frustrating enough, but he agreed with a slight smile on his face as if to say, “Okay Mrs. Know-it-all. I will do the culture but just to prove you wrong.” Which he did- the test was negative. However, he had looked in my daughter’s throat and viewed the redness and swelling and still insisted she had a cold. That was the second night my daughter’s temperature rose to over 104 degrees. She was miserable. The next day was a Saturday, so we were forced to go back to Urgent Care but fortunately this time, there was a Pediatrician on staff. Within two second of looking at my daughter’s throat, he diagnosed her with Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. It took 3 days and three different doctor’s to diagnose the problem. Hand, foot, Mouth Disease is incredibly contagious so it’s a good thing I kept my daughter out of Bible School which is where I assume she got this in the first place. All I could think was, “Were there other kids that went to the same Urgent Care over the course of that week and were given a wrong diagnosis only to return and spread the disease to over 900 kids attending the Bible School?” In the meantime, my son of course wound up getting the illness as well. Had we known Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease was the problem, we would have worked harder to keep him quarantined, including keeping him home from Bible School as well. At least by the time my son got the disease, we knew what we were dealing with. And interestingly enough, the magic solution- the thing that made both of them comfortable and took away the pain, was a holistic throat spray my dad happens to have and use all the time. Once the fevers were gone, it worked better than the Tylenol & Motrin.

Wrong Diagnosis #2: I dropped a heavy music mixer on the top of my foot while cleaning my son’s room and could barely walk from the pain. Of course, again, this happened on a Friday night (yes I have thrilling weekends!) so I had to go to Urgent Care to have it x-rayed. The x-ray did not show a fracture or so I was told, so the resident doctor gave me an ace wrap and sent me on my way. Fast-forward to three weeks later and I still cannot walk. So I called my regular doctor’s office this time, had my foot re-x-rayed and found out my foot does, in fact, have a hairline fracture. Deep down, I knew my foot had to be broken. I was limping and unable to stand fully upright and it would take upwards of 15 minutes every morning to get out of bed and gather the strength to get moving because I knew I would be in pain.

All that wasted time is very valuable to me. No one wants to go back to the doctor’s office over and over again. With what most of us pay for insurance coverage, we would expect to be diagnosed correctly the first time! Any of you that have read older blogs know that my daughter was also once wrongly diagnosed with Alopecia when she in fact, had Hypogammaglobulinemia which is an Immune Disorder. The treatment medications for Alopecia are steroids which if had been given to her, would have further destroyed the little immunity she had.

I have made it standard practice to do research and ask a lot of questions regarding what is going on with me and my children medically. I know I’m a pain in the neck to the medical community but if I weren’t, I would have had a lot more inconveniences and problems than I’ve already had by taking medications I didn’t need for diseases I didn’t have. If I had accepted my daughter’s diagnosis of a cold, I would not have been able to call my sister and warn her about infection as her kids had been around mine all week at Bible School. If I had accepted the wrong diagnosis regarding my foot, I would still be walking around in pain on a broken foot. If I had accepted the wrong diagnosis of Alopecia for my daughter…..well, I don’t even want to think about that. The point is, I have been let down more than once by people who should know better or want to try harder. I do not want to disrespect or second guess every medical professional I come in contact with- I actually have a degree in Health Education because I believe in it so much! And I have the utmost respect for doctor’s and all that they do. I would assume most choose the profession to help people and to help cure illnesses. But I personally have come to find that I need to trust my gut and get involved. How many times have you heard the expression, “A Mother’s Intuition?” There’s merit to that. You should be your own medical advocate. Ask questions, seek answers. It’s your body & your health and the more you know, the easier it can be to make good decisions.

Everyone has the right- and I believe the responsibility, to know their health and question the things they don’t agree with. Trust your intuition and don’t be intimidated into accepting everything you are told. Part of the problem is that we are rushed through 10 minute doctor’s appointments..how can anyone properly convey the symptoms they are feeling to get the correct diagnosis? Write things down, keep notes, make a chart, educate yourself- these are all things you can do and use to clearly and accurately communicate signs and symptoms to your doctor. A little education goes a long way and can give you the confidence to ask your medical professional intelligent questions about your future health and wellness.

Gina

FW: "What NOT To Say To Someone Going Through Infertility"

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Thu, 19 May 2011 21:52:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

Over the years, I’ve had several people contact me asking how they should deal with a friend going through infertility. A lot of people don’t know what to say or whether they should share pregnancy news with their friend. If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that every woman and man is different in how they deal with each infertility situation. The best advice I can give is to ask what the person wants and of they are open to a conversation about it. Sharing opinions or insights about infertility may not the smartest thing to do unless you know it’s welcomed.

This past week, Alicia asked our “Infertility Hurts” Facebook members to share some of the most hurtful comments they have received regarding their infertility, from friends, family and co-workers. I have to admit that even I was surprised by how harsh some of the comments were! When we started this blog, we wanted to help alleviate the shame and pain associated with infertility. There is no better way to do that than to share the exposed raw emotions of these women facing this issue. These comments are invaluable because they give an inside view of exactly what NOT to say to someone you suspect or know may be going through this. I remember very well how some of these comments made me feel (yes, I have a few included!), but more importantly, if you know someone going through infertility, this can perhaps guide you in conversation with them. Or if you personally are suffering from infertility, know you are not alone in having to deal with such comments- all of us have felt your pain.

Unfortunately but not shockingly, some of the coldest and nastiest comments came from mothers-in-law.
The following comments were shared by our Facebook members:

“If you can’t get pregnant, then God doesn’t want you to have a baby.”
‎"Maybe it’s not meant to be."
"Stop trying so hard."
‎"It’s because you’re stressed!"
‎"Just be thankful for what you do have."
‎"Why are you making such a big deal out of nothing?"
‎"You wouldn't want all this morning sickness anyway.”
"It wouldn’t hurt you to lose a few pounds."
‎"You couldn't handle 2 kids anyway."
‎"Are you guys ever going to have kids?!"
“If you can't get pregnant then it wasn't meant to be & God doesn't want you to bear children.”
"You know why you have such a nice house? Because you don't have kids."
"If it was that important to you, you would find the money to do IVF…. even if it is $6,000, you would make it happen."
“Are you sure you want this?”
“Just give it time & it will happen.”
"Just hurry up and get pregnant so you won't have to go to any more exams."
“You should just stop trying and it'll happen.”
“At least you can still drink liquor!”
“You don’t need kids.”
“Did you have an abortion in your past?”
"Why don't you adopt? A lot of people who adopt get pregnant right after that!"
“Just relax- it will happen in time.”
“You’re stressing, that’s why you’re not getting pregnant!”
“It will happen when you stop trying.”
“You should adopt.”
“Are you pregnant yet?”
“Why are you upset? Just adopt & whatever you do, don't get obsessed with trying to get pregnant and spend thousands of dollars.”
“You’re thinking about it too much.”
“You're just not ready..it’s not your time.”
“Maybe you were only supposed to have one child.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Would you rather have cancer?” (From a husband!)
“Quit making such a big deal out of nothing.”
“Are you crazy? Why would you want a child?”
“You need to wait. I never wanted to be a mom, and at least you have the freedom to do what you want.”
“Stop worrying about other pregnant people and start worrying about if God will ever bless you with a kid.”
"You would probably get pregnant if you weren't fat."
“Well honey, I’m so fertile all my husband had to do was look at me!”
“You’re young… enjoy time without kids.”
“You’re getting old. Are you barren?”
"You've been pregnant before, so it'll happen again. Just give it time."
"It's just not in God's plan for you now."
“Maybe you're not meant to have children."
"Some women aren't meant to have babies or carry babies.”
“Is it not about time you had a baby? You’re getting on a bit…”
“Its nature’s way!”
“It will happen when you least expect it!”
“I never wanted to have children with you anyway.” (From an ex-husband).
“You must not have been faithful to your husband.”
“You have enough time to have a baby.” ……..This was the feedback across the board, no matter what the age of the woman trying to get pregnant.
‎"You can have my child for a day and you will not want one."
“You can’t get mad at people just because they ask you what the problem is.”
‎"Go on holiday and it will happen."
"Just forget about it."
"You're lucky you don't have any kids, you can do whatever you want!"
‎"Take my kids for a day and you'll change your mind about wanting one!"
" I think that God hasn't blessed you with a child because you don't have him more in your life."
“You must be bad breeding material.”
“You don’t understand because you aren’t a mother yet.”

Several ladies were called by someone trying to help and “give advice.” Only problem was the advice was not solicited! And Alicia herself shared, “I had a girl at work ask me if I wanted to adopt her "unwanted pregnancy baby." I thought she was joking (all in the way she approached me). One week later I was helping clean up her blood in the bathroom because she hemorrhaged a day after her abortion! A moment in my life I will never forget…wish I could.”

I’m sure in many of these situations, people thought they were being funny or helpful but what they said sure cut deep. In hopes of giving people an understanding into the hearts, minds and feelings of someone going through infertility, this information can only help. When you know better, you do better. At the very least, know that how a person deals with infertility may change daily. It can be such a feeling of desperation and despair for a woman or man. To want something so badly but have almost no control over how to get it unless you have the financial means is stressful. This number of people going through infertility is only going to increase in the future. Hope fully this blog will help ease some pain and save some relationships!

In peace-
Gina

Insurance Coverage and Infertility: How Multiple Birth Rates Can Be Affected

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 03:25:00 +0000

Written By: Gina As some of you may know, we now have an “Infertility Hurts” page on Facebook. Several people have brought up the issue of insurance coverage in regards to infertility treatments and testing. The coverage varies by state and by how each union or organization purchases plans for their employees. Every plan is different and coverage ranges from 0-100%. In my case, I was covered at 50% for infertility testing and 0% for “experimental” testing..which included IVF. This has proven to be yet another issue regarding infertility as many believe if pregnancy does not happen naturally, people should have to pay for what they want. There has also been a lot of media attention on multiple births. According to the research Alicia and I have done that is present on http://www.friendinreach.blogspot.com/, and in our upcoming book, “A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility,” several factors can affect fertility including many environmental factors and common personal and household products people use every day. My infertility issue was labeled “unexplained,” so there was no official medical reason as to why I could not become pregnant on my own. How treatment for this was defined as “experimental” I will never know. Once I found an infertility specialist, she was not covered under my insurance plan. If I wanted to deliver in a hospital with some sort of insurance coverage, I had to find an OBGYN who was affiliated with my hospital of choice so I could get that partial coverage. Since I was over 35 and considered high risk, I was required to also see a Perinatal Specialist as well. He was supposed to be partially covered by my insurance. I received 2 bills from this doctor, one for $67k and one for $32k and I started to hyperventilate! Thank goodness I understood insurance and how to identify each code charged to get the coverage and payments I was entitled to. Many people do not understand what is truly covered by their insurance- especially when dealing with a grey area such as infertility and many times, insurance companies will deny claims even though they are supposed to pay. Once I found an OBGYN to deliver my twins (he was an in-network provider under my plan), I was now covered at 80%. However, this also translated to the hospital I chose and their fees. If I were having a regular delivery without having used an infertility specialist, I would have been covered at 100%. But my doctor was an OBGYN who specialized in high risk births so he was an obvious choice. Since he was covered at 80%, then so was the hospital. I had to pay the rest out of pocket…the 20% left over for my OBGYN fees, 20% of Perinatal Specialist fees and 20% of the hospital and delivery fees. I am discussing this because even after the enormously large costs of IVF, there could still be some hefty fees to pay once you become pregnant. I believe every couple should be aware of these fees prior to starting any fertility treatments so they are prepared if they become pregnant. I found the following article on-line the other day and found it so interesting. A lot of times, people’s issues with IUI and IVF relate to multiple births and parents and doctors accepting responsibility for the large multiple growth rates we are seeing. “Public release date: 5-Apr-2011 Contact: Karen N. Peart karen.peart@yale.edu 203-432-1326 Yale University Fewer multiple births in states with insurance coverage for infertility Faced with the prospect of costly in vitro fertilization (IVF) but with no help from insurance coverage, some infertile couples feel pressure to transfer multiple embryos in an attempt to ensure that the IVF is a success. This can lead to higher rates of twin and triplet births and prematurity. But having insurance coverage could curtail the costs associated with these multiple births, according to a new study by researchers at Yale School of Medicine. Published in the current issue of Fertility and Sterility, the study found that the 15 states, including Connecticut, that provide insurance coverage for infertility saw significantly lower multiple birth rates. The authors say this translates into tremendous savings on the costs of maternal/fetal complications. In 2005, it was estimated that the economic impact of preterm birth was $26.2 billion nationally. IVF is an effective treatment for the reported 7 million women who are infertile, but it is unaffordable for many infertile couples. Since 1998, more states are providing IVF coverage. Connecticut, for instance, covers up to two IVF cycles under state mandate. In this study, Yale researchers analyzed assisted reproductive technology cycle data from 2006 provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology. They categorized that year's 91,753 fresh, non-donor cycles by age group and by whether the cycles were performed in states with or without a mandate for IVF coverage. States with mandates for insurance coverage of infertility treatment not including IVF were characterized as non-mandated states. The study showed that pregnancy rates, live birth rates, twin and triplets are higher in states without mandated insurance for IVF because they transfer significantly more embryos than states with coverage for IVF. In contrast, insurance coverage for IVF is associated with a significant reduction in the incidence of multiple pregnancy, particularly among younger women under the age of 35. When IVF is not covered by insurance, physicians often feel pressure from patients who have financial incentive to maximize the per-cycle success by requesting the transfer of more embryos and willing to take the risk of multiple pregnancies, according to senior author Pasquale Patrizio, M.D., professor and director of the Yale Fertility Center in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology & Reproductive Sciences at Yale School of Medicine. "Increasing the number of states that provide coverage for IVF would lead to improved maternal-fetal health and lessen the economic impact that multiple births have on the health system and it would also reduce physician pressure to transfer more embryos," said Patrizio. "It does not make economic sense to see insurance not covering IVF but then pay for the costs associated with maternal and neonatal morbidity." "By reducing the patient's financial burden, state mandates may lead to a reduction in embryos transferred," said first author J. Ryan Martin, M.D., assistant professor at Yale, who sees patients at Yale Fertility Center's new facility in Westport, Conn. "Patients and insurance companies will both benefit from a reduction in multiple pregnancies." Other authors on the study included Jason Bromer, M.D, and Denny Sakkas.” ~Citation: Fertility & Sterility Vol. 95, No. 3 This article makes perfect sense. What are the odds though, of insurance companies deciding to pay for these treatments and procedures? If multiple rates continue to rise, maybe this issue will be addressed. I will admit that my husband and I chose to implant 3 embryos to ensure a successful pregnancy. If our insurance had covered our IVF treatments, I am not so sure that would have been the decision we would have made. Insurance companies can deny fertility claims in a few ways. They label infertility issues as pre-existing conditions (PCOS, non-ovulation, etc), or they state treatments for infertility are considered experimental which protects them from having to pay…but the costs to insurance companies on the back-end with preemie births, additional hospital staff needed at deliveries and ICU stays are hefty and may outweigh what they could potentially be saving. Food for thought. Should they pay or not? Gina

Genetic Testing & Analysis

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 22:30:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

I am hooked on the show “Who Do You Think You Are?” I started watching from the first episode and have been fascinated by all of the Geneology that has been uncovered for a number of celebrities. I was having a casual conversation with my sister a few months back and found out that she sent a sample of saliva in to 23andMe for analysis.

What is 23 And Me?

“23andMe, Inc. is a leading personal genetics company dedicated to helping individuals understand their own genetic information through DNA analysis technologies and web-based interactive tools. The company's Personal Genome Service™ enables individuals to gain deeper insights into their ancestry and inherited traits. 23andMe, Inc., was founded in 2006, and the company is advised by a group of renowned experts in the fields of human genetics, bioinformatics and computer science." ~23andMe.com

“23andMe is a privately held personal genomics and biotechnology company based in Mountain View, California that claims to be developing new methods and technologies that will enable consumers to understand their own genetic information. The company is named for the 23 pairs of chromosomes in a normal human cell.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/23andMe

Their marketing includes the following statistics:

“All of us have 23 pairs of chromosomes…

17% of us are left-handed

44% of us have attached earlobes

88% of us have wet earwax

None of us are world-class sprinters

14% of us have perfect pitch

13% of us have Restless Legs Syndrome

All of us can smell the asparagus odor in our urine

22% of us are lactose intolerant

67% of us have a family history of cancer

19% of us have a family history of Alzheimer's Disease

41% of us have a family history of migraines

56% of us have a family history of male pattern baldness

29% of us have a family history of diabetes

17% of us have a family history of Multiple Sclerosis” 23andMe

Interesting right? So what does this site and service have to offer?

“23andMe is a retail DNA testing service providing information and tools for consumers to learn about and explore their DNA.”

All you have to do is order the service online for a fee, register your kit, spit into the tube and send it to the lab. You get the results in 6-8 weeks and receive an email with all of your genetic information. This analysis can identify disease risk factors, screen for carrier status and can predict your body’s response to certain medications. In the area of ancestry, this genetic analysis can identify and trace your ancestral lineage and find and connect you with family members. My sister had her genetic testing but it also proves true for myself and our other sister. It would not carry over to our brother because there is an absence of Y chromosome analysis. For this reason, we also do not get results for our Paternal lineage.

Some of the traits identified for us were:

· We do not have an alcohol flush reaction (we do not)

· We are unlikely to have a bitter taste perception

· Eye color is most likely brown (yes for all 3 of us)

· Slightly curlier hair than average (yes for all 3 of us)

· We are likely lactose intolerant (yes for me for sure!)

· Not Malaria-resistant

Our Disease Risks indicated our highest risk as being a heart attack at 8.9% above the average, although we have decreased odds for Hypertension. Given that my Blood Pressure this week was 114/70, that’s actually more tolerable news in that making good lifestyle and health choices can be the perfect prevention! We also have increased risks above the average for Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Scleroderma, Narcolepsy and certain Cancers.

We have decreased risk factors for Psoriasis, Macular Degeneration, Colorectal Cancer, Restless Leg Syndrome, Type 1 Diabetes, Melanoma, Glaucoma, Multiple Sclerosis, Colitis, Celiac Disease (go figure since my whole family is Gluten free!), and Crohn’s Disease. Most valuable to all three siblings is the fact that we have decreased markers for Breast Cancer and mammographic breast density…something we have all been concerned about for years. Our Maternal Grandmother passed away at age 54 from it and we have been concerned since our teen years. We also have decreased markers for PCOS- a common complication that can cause infertility but that I never had.

We were not found to be carriers for 24 deficiencies and diseases including Cystic Fibrosis, Mediterranean Fever and Sickle Cell Anemia.

23andMe also breaks down lineage. Our Maternal ancestors most likely originate from Europe, Near East, Central Asia and Northwest Africa. We knew there was a likelihood of African heritage but the Asian connections surprised us! What’s fascinating is that our DNA compares to a Japanese persons at 71.35%, Chinese at 71.27% and Nigerian at 68.89%. Our DNA is most currently like those that live in Southern and Northern Europe respectively.

23andMe has provided a resource for many groups to go to do genetic analysis in helping to make decisions about job well-being and future health. In the article titled, “23andMe Tests NFL Players’ DNA for Athletic Genetic Factors,” researchers investigated a specific list of genes in the players associated with athletic ability and longevity, including grip power, oxygen-carrying capacity and injury risk. For example, mutations in the gene COL1A1 (which is responsible for the manufacture of collagen, the protein that keeps ligaments strong) have been associated with a reduced risk of ACL tears in limited previous research. Knowledge about an individual's COL1A1 type could in the future allow athletes to better understand their risk of knee injury. And the article,“23andMe Launches Free Online Community For Moms and Moms-to-Be,” through the genetic research studies 23andMe plans to conduct, the company hopes to discover the genetic roots of pregnancy complications that could in turn lead to improved preventive care and healthier future pregnancies for women worldwide.~23andMe.com

23andMe also comes with its controversy. Some believe genetic testing is dangerous and misleading because the results and tests should be ordered directly by a physician in response to a particular need for such information. There is also grey area as to whether these genetic tests should be labeled educational or diagnostic (to be used in a diagnosis).

“To act on this data, we first need to understand it. That means the companies must translate the demanding argot of genetics — alleles and phenotypes and centromeres — into something approachable, even simple, for physicians and laypersons alike. It's one thing for a doctor to tell patients that smoking is bad for them, or that their cholesterol count is high. But how are you supposed to react when you're told you have a genetic variation at rs6983267 that's been associated with a 20 percent higher risk of colorectal cancer? And what are physicians, most likely untrained in and unprepared for genomic medicine, to do when a patient comes in wielding a printout that indicates a particular variation of a particular gene?

This new age of genomics comes with great opportunity — but also great quandaries. In the genomic age, we will no longer have the problem of not knowing, but we will face the burden of whether we want to know in the first place. We'll learn what might be best for us in life and then have to reckon with the risk and perhaps the guilt of not acting on that knowledge. We will, counter-intuitively, face even more pressure to conduct our lives carefully, strictly, and cautiously; we'll practice the art of predictive diagnosis and receive a demanding roster of things to avoid, things to do, and treatments to receive — long before there's any physical evidence of disease. And, yes, we will know whether our children are predisposed to certain traits or talents — athletics or music or languages — and encourage them to pursue certain paths. In short, life will become a little more like a game of strategy, where we're always playing the percentages, trying to optimize our outcomes.” http://www.wired.com/medtech/genetics/magazine/15-12/ff_genomics

Some of the 23andMe Top Ten Most Interesting Genetic Findings of 2010:

Genetics influences whether your body shape is “apple” or “pear” — and which shape you are has implications for disease.

Genetic variations newly associated with risk for childhood asthma

New Variants Influence Risk for Rheumatoid Arthritis

Understanding Alzheimer’s disease

Baby’s First Tooth May Be A Health Predictor

A Fresh Look at Latino Genetic Ancestry

23andMe is also present on Facebook, where several people have said that the information on genetic issues they were not even aware of has saved their lives. But some great points have been brought up, such as the one from a blogger on Oprah.com who said, “This test is a great idea except for one thing - Insurance companies. They can probably use this test to deny you coverage. It's even possible that they could one day require you take such a test before providing health insurance coverage, instead of the physical exams some insurance companies require.” http://www.oprah.com/community/thread/93254. Good point…insurance companies already refute a lot of illness due to “pre-existing conditions,” and we certainly do not want to give them more reasons to deny coverage. I have also read on several sites that the true cost of this service is not clear…some people pay in excess of $1,000 as opposed to the $199 they advertise on the site.

As in most things, this should be a personal decision. I am glad to have these genetic results mostly for the Breast Cancer information but also to know which lifestyle choices to make so I am here for a long time for my children. That, and I find all of this information fascinating! I just pray that this new-found availability is not used to refuse health care and best treatment options by insurance companies for those in need, and that this information is used to do good and not harm.

In Health~

Gina

Bullying

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 03:17:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

It starts earlier than I thought. For months, I have been hearing that my daughter doesn’t want to be in the “red” group at school. I’ve asked everything: “Do you like the kids in the group?” “Yes.” “Do you like the teacher in the group?” “Yes.” “Do you like the work you do in the group?” “Yes.” Her twin brother would always agree with her and ask me to just switch her to another group. Any of you who have read my blogs or who know me know I am not switching anything- we must face whatever this is head on!

At first I thought the kids just wanted to be in the same group together but this has been going on since they started groups in September. So I kept digging and asking questions periodically. But then last Friday, I picked up the kids from school expecting them to be on cloud 9. Their dad went to their preschool in his Fire Truck with all the other Firefighters from his station and I figured the kids would be so excited. When I picked them up though, I knew instantly something was wrong. They were both sad and not smiling….a look I have never seen on their faces.

As soon as we left the classroom, I asked them what was wrong. They kept saying “nothing,” but there was no way I was buying it! Call it mother’s intuition- whatever, I just knew something wasn’t right. All through the day I pushed and the kids denied having anything wrong, but before bed, my son started telling his sister, “Tell her Lexi. Tell her what’s wrong,” but she wouldn’t budge. I figured if I let them sleep on whatever the problem was, it would come out in the morning.

When the kids woke up, I noticed my son’s fingers were raw. He has always had a nervous tendency to rub his thumbs when he gets stressed out and we know to watch for this. This was the worst I had seen his fingers. I asked again what was wrong with them when I picked them up and it all came spilling out- they are being bullied at school. They admitted to me that one of the boys tells them, “No one likes you,” and “So and so is not your friend.” He tells them to get away from him and the other kids because no one wants to play with them and cuts them off when they are standing in line…especially when Lexi is in line in the red group. It all made sense.

We have heard so much in the news lately about bullying and what it can lead to.

About Phoebe Prince

Phoebe Prince was a 15-year-old Irish immigrant and student in South Hadley who killed herself after relentless bullying.

In the time since her death, Massachusetts lawmakers unanimously passed a bill that seeks to curtail bullying in schools and in cyberspace. Nine teens are facing charges in connection with her death. http://www.boston.com/community/moms/news/bullying/

And...

Tragic suicide: University student Tyler Clementi threw himself off a bridge after being 'outed' on the internet http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1323790/Tough-New-Jersey-anti-bullying-law-spate-gay-teenage-suicides.html

Bullying Is a Big Problem

Every day thousands of teens wake up afraid to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students, and it has everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end. Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don't always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get.

Some bullies attack their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or even sexual assault. Others use psychological control or verbal insults to put themselves in charge. For example, people in popular groups or cliques often bully people they categorize as different by excluding them or gossiping about them (psychological bullying). They may also taunt or tease their targets (verbal bullying). Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website — practices that are known as cyberbullying. www.Kidshealth,org

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion. Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.

Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target. Cyber-bullying by both boys and girls -- in online chat rooms, e-mail, and text-messaging -- is increasing.

Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component of bullying is physical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse. http://www.focusas.com/Bullying.html

Why Do Kids Bully?

There is no one single cause of bullying among children; individual, family, peer, school, and community factors can place a child or you that risk for bullying. These factors work individually, or collectively, to contribute to a child's likelihood of bullying.

· Family risk factors for bullying:

· A lack of warmth and involvement on the part of parents.

· Overly-permissive parenting (including a lack of limits for children’s behavior).

· A lack of supervision by parents.

· Harsh, physical discipline.

· Parent modeling of bullying behavior.

· Victimization by older brothers.

· Peer risk factors for bullying:

· Friends who bully.

· Friends who have positive attitudes about violence.

· Some aggressive children who take on high status roles may use bullying as a way to enhance their social power and protect their prestige with peers.

· Some children with low social status may use bullying as a way to deflect taunting and aggression that is directed towards them, or to enhance their social position with higher status peers.

· Other Factors:

· Bullying thrives in schools where faculty and staff do not address bullying, where there is no policy against bullying, and where there is little supervision of students—especially during lunch, bathroom breaks, and recess.

· Models of bullying behavior are prevalent throughout society, especially in television, movies, and video games.

· When children are aggregated together, they associate with others who are similar to them or who have qualities or characteristics that in some way support their own behaviors.

· For teenage girls, social aggression can be a way of creating excitement or alleviating boredom. It is also used as a method of gaining attention from other girls in order to secure friendships.http://www.education.com/reference/article/why-do-kids-bully/

There are many reasons why kids bully.

Did you know that bullying behavior is often a cry for help?

· According to Frank Peretti, there are two basic reasons why kids bully. One reason a child bullies is because he (or she) "has a deep troubling need of his own" and is picked on or feels that he does not have a very successful life. Bullies may be experiencing trouble at home, be underachievers in school, and for whatever reason they feel they have to make themselves better by picking on someone else. On the outside bullies may look fine, but they may be very lonely or may deliberately try to hurt themselves or have trouble eating or sleeping.

· Another reason kids bully is that they may fall into a trap by thinking that bullying is just "the cool thing to do," especially in front of their friends. Sometimes bullies are those kids who are good students, athletes, or the kids who seem to have everything going for them. In Time Magazine, it was reported that even though bullies often will have high self-esteem, they "tend to be victims of physical damage as well." Most bullies live in families in which parents discipline them "inconsistently or through physical means."

· Unfortunately, there are people who reward others who bully. The bullies are made to feel that they are "fitting in" with the others, or are "being cool" when they are acting like a bully. Mostly these kids do not feel very good about themselves, and bullying takes away that feeling. "Too often a bully's behavior is encouraged and not stopped. Some bullies become popular ringleaders with other kids, but not all bullies are the cool kids. Some are troubled students who may have been bullied themselves."

· Another reason why kids bully others is that adults don't give kids the skills they need to be able to tolerate and appreciate the differences of others. When the bully sees other people who are different, they lash out and make fun of them. Many feel that bullies engage in this behavior because it makes them feel important. They learn that being physically aggressive is a way to get what they want, and a way to control people.

· Bullies also tend to continue their behavior throughout their lives. Their bullying actions become a cycle, in that bullies have children that they bully, and then their children become aggressive, and then they bully others too. http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/whybully.html

Bystanders also play a role in bullying:

Just as in our social reaction to other forms of abuse, we have all tried to get the victims of bullying to act differently to solve the problem. We have trained victims to:

· be assertive

· blend in

· ignore bullying

· pretend they're not bothered by bullying ("Sticks and stones?")

The problem with these approaches used in isolation, no matter how good our intentions in using them, is that they displace responsibility for stopping bullying from us to the victims. If these approaches do not work (and I believe they rarely do), the victim is left with a sense of failure. These interventions can, I believe, be effective only if they are part of a comprehensive intervention. http://stopbullyingnow.com/what.html

How To Deal With Bullying?

· Know the school policies that protect students from harassment, bullying, and physical violence. All students have the right to a safe and secure learning environment. Get copies of these policies and procedures.

· Seek help from your child's teacher, the school guidance counselor, and school administrators -- and hold them accountable for following school policy. Most bullying occurs on playgrounds, in lunchrooms, and bathrooms, on school buses or in unsupervised halls. Ask the school administrators to find out about programs other schools and communities have used to help combat bullying, such as peer mediation, conflict resolution, anger management training, and increased adult supervision.

· Notify the police if your child is assaulted. Get a restraining order so that the bully is required by law to have no contact with your child.

· If school officials and the police do not follow policy or laws, take legal action. http://www.focusas.com/Bullying.html

In the case of my children, I immediately felt that the best way to handle this situation was to role play and instill the confidence in them to address the words they were hearing. In my mind, if they were to ignore the bullying, it would go on forever and appear they were uncomfortable standing up to such aggression…I have seen it happen. I figured if they learned how to or were comfortable speaking out and sticking up for themselves, there would no longer be a challenge for the bully. In this instance, it seems the bullying has stopped almost immediately (thanks in no small part to the preschool teachers who addressed it right away). My kids were instantly relieved that mom knew what to do and how to help. They now actually have a very casual and almost dismissive attitude towards the situation, as if me knowing about it and telling them it’s OK to say “knock it off” gives them the green light to say what they were feeling out loud (which incidentally, Lexi did on her next day back to school!). But in the future, I feel it is integral to teach our kids how to address bullying by role play and by instilling the confidence in them to stand up for anyone being bullied- especially as a bystander! Bystanders can diffuse a situation like this in an instant because otherwise, a bully has an audience and feels empowered being “on top” or “in control.” But if we teach our kids that there is more power in unity and numbers and that walking away as a group makes a louder statement than anything a bully is saying or doing, we could change the world!

In peace~

Gina

How I Helped My Daughter Recover from Selective Mutism

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:57:00 +0000

Written by: Alicia

Over one year ago I wrote an article titled “Selective Mutism and/or Autism?” I never knew how popular this blog post would become; it is now one of our most viewed posts. I am surprised because when I wrote it I didn’t think anyone would be interested in hearing about it. It was more of a release for me. To get the amount of hits we get has been a real eye opener. You hear a lot about Autism but you never hear about Selective Mutism (SM) until your doctor diagnoses your child with it. For those that do not know what SM is, it means having extremely high (if not crippling) social anxiety.

There is not a lot of information on the internet about SM. All of us parents are forced to search high and low on the web in order to gain more knowledge on how to help our children. Perhaps that is why I get so many visitors to our site on this subject matter. The majority of our readers are from the United States but we also have people visiting to read and learn about SM from the United Kingdom, Philippines, Netherlands, Italy, Australia, Canada and even Libyan Arab Jamahiriya (to name a few).

As some of our loyal readers know, my daughter was first diagnosed with Autism in May 2008. I had a hard time accepting that diagnoses and took her to see two separate psychologists to reevaluate her. They both arrived to the Autism diagnoses in less than one hour of knowing her. I made changes in her life and in May of 2009 she was easily undiagnosed with Autism. However, that same day the doctors said she was a Selective Mute. It was a huge day of celebration but I woke up the next day and started researching SM. I wanted to learn how I could cure her of this as well.

Doctors said I could not cure my daughter of Autism. The doctors were 100% confident that trying the gluten-free / casein-free diet for my daughter would not help at all. They said “It is not proven to help. Your best route is ABA therapy.” They were wrong! I have a tremendous amount of respect for doctors but those doctors were very, very wrong and thank God I did not listen to them. The diet change gave me my daughter back! I was certain I could figure out a way to now help her recover from SM.

Unfortunately, trying to find treatment options for SM is nearly impossible. The best advice I received to date was from a doctor who contacted me after reading my first blog post on this subject. Her name is Shannon Morgan-Gillard, Psy.D. and she runs The Brave Center for Selective Mutism in St. Louis. She suggested Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I have followed her advice on CBT since.

It has been a year and a half since the doctors said she was a Selective Mute and I now have some exciting news! I can honestly say, and not just wish, that my daughter has recovered from SM. I am not sure if I can say she is cured for life because most kids are not diagnosed as young as she was. Most kids are diagnosed once they enter Kindergarten or later in school years. All I know for sure is my daughter is a few months away from turning five and she no longer has the characteristics of a selective mute.

She is in pre-school with her triplet siblings and she interacts well with her classmates, she talks out loud to the teachers and she is the first child of mine to enter the room and not look back at me everyday I drop her off at school. She gives her teacher a hug and kiss goodbye everyday. She participates in a soccer class and plays without any hesitation, she is the first to say “Hi” when we walk past a person on the bike trail, she will now easily say “Hello” to store clerks while looking them in the eye and she will befriend a new doctor in seconds. She still has shy moments but no more than her siblings do.

It is hard to think back to when she was literally crippled in a classroom setting. She would not speak at all (it was a good day if she whispered to a teacher); she would look at the floor as she walked because she did not want to give anyone eye contact; she would be too embarrassed to go to the bathroom at school; she was extremely moody after school due to all of the built-up anxiety she experienced during the day. It also appeared as if she was stimming in high anxiety situations because she would stare at her fingers and watch them move as if she was slowing squeezing a soft ball in her hands. She would also hide behind furniture when relatives or close friends would stop over at our house.

I don’t think I will ever be able to say what it was exactly that helped her to recover. Maybe it was one thing or maybe it was a multitude of changes I have made in her life. Either way, I would like to explain the changes and maybe her story could help another child. Any parent of a Selective Mute knows finding treatment options on SM are far and few between so here are the changes/life modifications that helped my daughter:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: I took Dr. Morgan-Gillard’s advice on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I focused on my daughter’s anxiety; not on her shyness. I always try to build her self-esteem and make sure I compliment her in excessive amounts when she is social in any way. I make sure I give her huge compliments when we are alone so she is not embarrassed. For instance, after she says “Hi” to a stranger I don’t compliment her in front of the stranger. I wait until we are in the car and tell her how proud I am of her. It seems so simple but she just lights up when I compliment her. My goal is to teach her how to be proud of herself.

2. Pre-school: Having her in pre-school as helped tremendously. She is now in her second year of pre-school and she has adjusted as you would hope a typical child would.

3. Gluten-free / casein-free diet: I originally put her on this diet because of the Autism diagnoses. It cured her of that so she will always remain on the diet but I also feel it is helping her social anxiety as well. Immediately after starting the diet she began interacting with her siblings again. For me there is a definite connection between the diet change and her improved social skills. I feel so confident about this because it was almost an overnight change. I would suggest trying this diet for 6 months or more to see if your child can benefit as mine has.

As I mentioned, I am not sure what the main action was that helped to recover my daughter. All I know for sure is that she no longer falls under Autism or Selective Mutism. It is nice to look at her and see the child I always knew was in there somewhere; she just got lost sometimes but not anymore. In some ways she is even more social than her triplet siblings. As a matter of fact, I often wonder if being a triplet has helped her overcome her anxiety too. She is in constant contact with kids her own age and they play together all day. I keep them all in the same pre-school classroom so they can be supportive and encouraging to each other and I think that has made a huge impact as well.

As with Autism, I know there is not one sure cure to help every child. For instance, I wish the GF/CF diet helped all Autistic children but I know it does not. However, as I always say the diet change is something worth trying. I would try the diet change before you jump right into medications. I am also a strong believer in CBT as well. You can never give too many compliments to a child with SM. So compliment away!

Take care,
Alicia

Gluten Free Pets

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 21:46:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

There has been a steady stream of attention recently regarding following a Gluten Free Lifestyle. A recent today show article talked about the gluten free cake served at Chelsea Clinton’s wedding. If this was a major discussion point about the wedding of a former first daughter, this must be big news! As many of you know, my kids have been following a gluten free diet since they started on solid foods and I started a couple of years ago. When I am regimented, I feel better. I am less bloated, cranky and have a lot more energy. I also tend to avoid sugar when I eat gluten free products as I do not crave them like I do when I eat poorly.

What is Gluten Free?

Gluten, a protein found in grains such as wheat, rye and barley, wreaks havoc in people with celiac disease, triggering an immune reaction that damages the small intestine and prevents absorption of nutrients.

According to statistics from the University of Chicago Celiac Disease Center, an average of one out of every 133 otherwise healthy people in the United States suffers from celiac disease (CD), but previous studies have found that this number may be as high as 1 in 33 in at-risk populations.

Despite its rapidly increasing prevalence, the disease is still commonly misdiagnosed or missed altogether; it still takes an average of four years to reach a diagnosis, and that’s if you’re symptomatic.

This delay in proper diagnosis can dramatically increase your risk of developing other diseases such as autoimmune disorders, neurological problems, osteoporosis, and even cancer.

Most People are Better Off Avoiding Gluten -- Even Without Celiac Disease

Large numbers of people, perhaps even the majority of the population, are adversely affected by gluten on some level, and most of them do not have full-blown celiac disease, just a lesser form of gluten intolerance.

Grains and sugars are inherently pro-inflammatory and will worsen any condition that has chronic inflammation at its root -- and not just inflammation in your gut, but anywhere in your body.

Those with celiac disease know the importance of eliminating grains from their diet, as many cannot tolerate even minute amounts of gluten, but this message has still to take root in the collective mind when it comes to dealing with autoimmune diseases and other inflammatory conditions.

In fact, if you want to avoid heart disease, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes or even cancer, you will want to severely limit your grain consumption, or avoid grains entirely.

In my experience about 75-80 percent of ALL people benefit from avoiding grains, even whole sprouted grains, whether you have celiac disease, gluten intolerance or neither of those conditions. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/09/03/media-finally-starts-to-catch-on-to-gluten-free.aspx

So if Gluten affects people in this way, what about animals? Especially one who weighs 4 pounds?

Here’s where I learned something new. We have a new Pug puppy named Milo. Unfortunately, we lost our 14 ½ year old Pug Vinnie last month and I just couldn’t bear to not have another Pug roaming around the house. As we were caring for Vinnie during his final weeks, we kept hearing over and over again from Veterinary staff and doctors, “Your Pug is 14 ½? That’s unheard of!” Usually Pugs do not live to be 14 ½ because they have a lot of special needs regarding their noses, ears and hips. We knew we took really good care of our dog but we took things one step further. Once I had become educated about how to eat in a truly healthy way by Dr. Cart and his wife Bettye, I could not possibly give toxic food or products to my dog anymore than I could to myself or my kids. But a whole new world has opened up to me now having a new puppy.

Vinnie was easy. He started out eating Iams dog food…which is good. But once I learned how to read labels, organic food it was. Vinnie started to act like a young puppy again! It really was amazing….he had more energy and was still able to jump up to greet us- at 13! We also spaced out his shots. We found that just like our doctor, our Veterinarian was willing to work with us so as not to compromise the dog’s Immune System. With Vinnie being so old, we knew that a vaccination or being placed under anesthesia for a teeth cleaning could be detrimental.

Now there’s Milo. I had not been to a pet store in quite a while. You can imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw aisles and aisles of product! It was like being at a pet grocery store! I started by searching for “natural” and “organic” foods which turned out to be not really natural or organic. No surprise- I encounter the same thing when purchasing my food. I read labels and found a lot of the same junk used to preserve people food is used to preserve pet food. I did find food with a USDA Organic seal and was fortunate as well in finding dog treats. Both the food and treats are without wheat, soy, meat by-products, corn, dairy or artificial colors or flavors- Gluten Free! I am so excited by this I cannot even tell you. I feel like I am doing right by my pet. We feel our Pug is a part of our family..we do not see him as “just a dog.” My point of this blog is that 10 years ago, I would probably have never found a thing that was all natural or Gluten free, or if I did it would have been pretty difficult as such products would not have been in high demand nor have been store top sellers.

Now I needed dog shampoo. There is an “organic” section marked in the pet store and I was not surprised to find that when I read the ingredients, I sincerely wanted to scream! It’s the same thing I deal with when trying to find shampoo for my kids. Parabens. Sulfates. Fragrance. And all of them say not to use on a dog under the age of 12 weeks. So I stood wondering why something that is labeled “safe, natural and organic” cannot be used on a puppy under the age of 12 weeks? Interesting right? I followed the Gluten Free rule of thumb. If you can pronounce and it and you would eat it, it’s probably OK!

Then the puppy started to itch. We took him to the Vet and found that this is called puppy “hot spots.” So back to the pet store I went in search of a healthy oil or topical gel to give the poor dog so he can be comfortable. I found that almost every topical ointment, foam or gel for dry, itchy skin, contains alcohol. Alcohol dries out the skin. Wouldn’t this product make the problem worse? It took me almost 30 minutes of reading labels to find a product that had ingredients I could read and understand, but I did find something. And again, five years ago, I would not have known better and would have probably given the dog steroids or used one of the topical ointments that contained standard toxins. And I certainly would not have read the labels to find out that the product was not safe for puppies under 12 weeks of age.

The skin is the body’s largest organ…this means for animals too. I have also learned that many Rescue organizations and farms follow a Gluten free diet for their pets. In good conscience I cannot give my puppy anything that would hurt him. I know better so I have to do better.

Gina

Shopping With Triplets Made Easy

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 14:57:00 +0000

Written by: Alicia

“Put it on your list” is now a common saying around my house. If you are a Mom or Dad to young kids then you need to adopt this saying too. It has saved me from numerous melt-downs in department stores and even toy stores.

This is how my saying came about. One day I was checking out of a department store with triplets in tow. Next to the cashier is the unavoidable clutter of junk; candy, toys and lighters. Of course my kids wanted it all. They were grabbing everything and crying when I said, “No. Not today.” It turned into a huge scene and actually very embarrassing for me.

I knew I had to come up with something or else I would never be able to take my kids shopping with me. It was one month before Christmas and I decided to hang three “Wish Lists” on the fridge. I told the kids we would write down everything they want for Christmas and then send the lists to Santa.

One week later I was ready to try to take them shopping with me again. This is what I told them before we entered the store, “Kids. We are going to shop today for certain items I need to buy. We are not shopping for toys today. I repeat we are not shopping for toys today. If you see anything you want then you need to tell me and I will add that to your list. You are not allowed to touch or pick up anything. Just point and say, ‘I want that on my list Mommy.’”

The kids agreed and we walked into the store. It was the most pleasant store outing I had experienced in months. The kids just looked at everything around them, pointed at certain items they wanted and said, “Mommy, I want that on my list.” Not one of them picked anything up. Not one of them cried. It actually turned into a fun game.

When we got home, I wrote down the items they wanted onto their lists and that was that. I promise you it was that simple. My triplets had just turned four so I am not sure this will work with older kids but it seems to work well with four year olds. I have been keeping a list (mostly a mental list by now) on everything they ask for when we are in a store. It has been ten months now, since I implemented this great idea and it still works! No fussiness….ever.

Every now and then I will surprise them and get them something on their list in order to keep this idea alive. They get so excited about it. I tell them I will buy items from time to time but the remaining items will be sent to Santa at the end of the year. I say, “Santa will decide what items on your list to get for you. He can’t get them all but he will try to give you your favorites.” They are so content with this. I can’t believe it.

Their lists are pretty darn long and I don’t know how much longer they will buy this but for now it makes a shopping trip pleasant. It makes heading towards the junk aisle less stressful. Who knew five little words would make shopping with four-year-old triplets so easy. “Put it on your list” works in Toy R Us too! Give it a try.

Happy Shopping,
Alicia

Most Common Over The Counter Drugs And Their Side Effects

noreply@blogger.com (GMB) — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 23:00:00 +0000

Written by: Gina

I was reading a Dr. Mercola article about the new flu vaccination for Fall 2010 where it was explained that the traditional annual flu vaccination will be combined with the H1N1 Swine Flu vaccination into one shot. This vaccination is going to be pushed hard which does not surprise me since so much money was lost by pharmaceutical companies over the last 2 years for the annual and Swine Flu shots separately. More people are becoming educated on the lies and obvious media support of these vaccinations. But one thing stood out that I think people should pay attention to. The most commonly reported side effects of the Swine Flu shot (although not shared by the media to the public) were Guillian-Barre Syndrome (GBS) and Bells Palsy. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/08/21/barbara-loe-fisher-on-flu-vaccine-changes.aspx

That got me to thinking about the top over-the-counter drugs that the people purchase and their side effects. In just reading about the top 5 medications sold across the US, I found the information shocking and I wonder if people actually read the back labels of their prescription bottles. I was once told to give my daughter steroids for Alopecia (which she never actually had incidentally) and when I read the back of the bottle, written in bold black letters was the caution: “Do not give to children under the age of 16; may cause Renal (Kidney) Failure, severe Immune problems and death. Good thing I read that label!

One of the most commonly used medications in the US are called statins. Statins are HMG-CoA reductase inhibitors, that is, they act by blocking the enzyme in your liver that is responsible for making cholestorol (HMG-CoA reductase). Commonly sold Statins available on the US market are Advicor, Altoprev, Caduet, Crestor, Lescol, Lipitor, Medvacor, Pravachol. Simcor, Vytorin and Zocor. Reported side effects include:

· Muscle problems, polyneuropathy (nerve damage in the hands and feet), and rhabdomyolysis (a serious degenerative muscle tissue condition)

· Anemia

· Acidosis

· Sexual dysfunction

· Immune depression

· Pancreas or liver dysfunction, including a potential increase in liver enzymes

· Cataracts

Muscle problems are the best known of statin drugs' adverse side effects, but cognitive problems and memory loss are also widely reported. A spectrum of other problems, ranging from blood glucose elevations to tendon problems, can also occur. There is evidence that taking statins may even increase your risk for Lou Gehrig's disease. http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/medication.htm.

The most commonly sold over-the-counter drugs and their side effects (To note, most of these medications are deemed Pregnancy Category B by the FDA which means Animal reproduction studies have failed to demonstrate a risk to the fetus and there are no adequate and well-controlled studies in pregnant women OR Animal studies have shown an adverse effect, but adequate and well-controlled studies in pregnant women have failed to demonstrate a risk to the fetus in any trimester):

Lipitor (used to treat high cholesterol- a statin)

· If you have the following conditions, you may need to adjust your Lipitor dose or have special tests: history of liver or kidney disease; diabetes; a thyroid disorder; or if you drink more than 2 alcoholic beverages daily. (What are these special tests and why would someone need them? I would be asking a lot of questions before using this!).

· In rare cases, Lipitor can cause a condition that results in the breakdown of skeletal muscle tissue, leading to kidney failure. This condition may be more likely to occur in older adults and in people who have kidney disease or poorly controlled hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid).

Tell your doctor about all other medications you use. Certain other drugs can increase your risk of serious muscle problems.

FDA pregnancy category X. Lipitor can harm an unborn baby or cause birth defects.

Nexium (decreases the amount of acid in the stomach)

You should not take Nexium if you are allergic to esomeprazole or to any other benzimidazole medication such as albendazole (Albenza), or mebendazole (Vermox).

If you have severe liver disease you may need an Nexium dose adjustment or special tests.

Nexium is not for immediate relief of heartburn symptoms.

Taking a proton pump inhibitor such as Nexium may increase your risk of bone fracture in the hip, wrist, or spine. This effect has occurred mostly in people who have taken the medication long term or at high doses, and in those who are age 50 and older. It is not clear whether Nexium is the actual cause of an increased risk of fracture. Before you take this medication, tell your doctor if you have osteoporosis or osteopenia (low bone mineral density).

FDA pregnancy category B. Nexium is not expected to harm an unborn baby. (Not expected…?)

Plavix (prevents blood clotting)

Plavix keeps your blood from coagulating (clotting) to prevent unwanted blood clots that can occur with certain heart or blood vessel conditions. Because of this drug action, Plavix can make it easier for you to bleed, even from a minor injury. Contact your doctor or seek emergency medical attention if you have bleeding that will not stop.

You may also have bleeding on the inside of your body, such as in your stomach or intestines. Call your doctor at once if you have black or bloody stools, or if you cough up blood or vomit that looks like coffee grounds. These could be signs of bleeding in your digestive tract.

Avoid drinking alcohol. It may increase your risk of bleeding in your stomach or intestines.

If you need surgery or dental work, tell the surgeon or dentist ahead of time that you are using Plavix.

While you are taking Plavix, do not take aspirin or other NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) without your doctor's advice. NSAIDs include ibuprofen (Motrin, Advil), diclofenac (Cataflam, Voltaren), etodolac (Lodine), indomethacin (Indocin), meloxicam (Mobic), nabumetone (Relafen), naproxen (Aleve, Naprosyn), piroxicam (Feldene), and others.

If you have any of these other conditions, you may need a dose adjustment or special tests: a bleeding or blood clotting disorder, such as TTP (thrombocytopenic purpura) or hemophilia; a history of stroke, including TIA ("mini-stroke"); a stomach ulcer or ulcerative colitis; or kidney disease.

FDA pregnancy category B. Plavix is not expected to be harmful to an unborn baby.

Advair (to prevent asthma attacks)

Some medical conditions may interact with Advair Diskus Powder. Tell your doctor or pharmacist if you have any medical conditions, especially if any of the following apply to you:

if you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or are breast-feeding

· if you are taking any prescription or nonprescription medicine, herbal preparation, or dietary supplement

· if you have allergies to medicines, foods, or other substances

· if you are taking a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) (eg, phenelzine) or tricyclic antidepressant (eg, amitriptyline), or if you have taken either of these medicines within the last 14 days

· if you have high blood acid levels (eg, ketoacidosis) or a history of diabetes, glaucoma, or increased pressure in the eye, heart problems (eg, fast or irregular heartbeat, heart blood vessel problems), high blood pressure, nervous system problems, liver problems, low blood potassium levels, seizures, thyroid problems, or an adrenal gland tumor

· if you are having a COPD flare-up, have recently been to an emergency room for asthma, have a history of frequent hospitalizations for asthma, or have ever had a life-threatening asthma attack

· if you have a fungal, bacterial, or parasitic infection; a viral infection (eg, measles, chickenpox, shingles); herpes virus infection of the eye; tuberculosis (TB); a history of a positive TB skin test; or immune system problems; or if you have had a recent vaccination

· if you have weak bones (osteoporosis) or have risk factors for osteoporosis (eg, a family history of osteoporosis, tobacco use, long-term use of corticosteroids or certain seizure medicines, limited physical exercise, poor nutrition)

Seroquel (antipsychotic medication)

Seroquel is not for use in psychotic conditions related to dementia. Seroquel may cause heart failure, sudden death, or pneumonia in older adults with dementia-related conditions. Stop using Seroquel and call your doctor at once if you have the following symptoms: very stiff (rigid) muscles, high fever, sweating, confusion, fast or uneven heartbeats, tremors, uncontrolled muscle movements, feeling light-headed, blurred vision, eye pain, increased thirst and urination, excessive hunger, fruity breath odor, weakness, nausea and vomiting.

You may have thoughts about suicide when you first start taking an antidepressant, especially if you are younger than 24 years old. Your doctor will need to check you at regular visits for at least the first 12 weeks of treatment.

Call your doctor at once if you have any new or worsening symptoms such as: mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself.

If you have any of these other conditions, you may need a dose adjustment or special tests to safely take Seroquel: liver or kidney disease; heart disease, high blood pressure, heart rhythm problems; a history of heart attack or stroke; a history of low white blood cell (WBC) counts; a thyroid disorder; seizures or epilepsy; cataracts; high cholesterol or triglycerides; a personal or family history of diabetes; or trouble swallowing.

Your family or other caregivers should also be alert to changes in your mood or symptoms. Your doctor will need to check you at regular visits for at least the first 12 weeks of treatment.

FDA pregnancy category C. It is not known whether Seroquel will harm an unborn baby. Do not give Seroquel to a child without a doctor's advice. Extended-release quetiapine (Seroquel XR) is for use only in adults and should not be given to anyone younger than 18 years old. http://www.drugs.com/top200.html

And even more information about medication side effects:

· Antihistamines (Benadryl, Chlorpheniramine, Hydroxyzine) are primarily used for allergies. The most common side effect is sedation ranging from mild drowsiness to severe depression. A dry mouth may also occur. In some pets, excitability, including muscle tremors, may be seen.

· Bronchodilators (Theophylline, Aminophylline) are used in certain respiratory conditions. Common side effects include mild excitement, insomnia, vomiting, diarrhea, increased thirst, and increased urination.

· Clavamox (Amoxicillin-clavulanic acid) and Cephalexin are antibiotics used to treat many types of infections. Side effects include vomiting, diarrhea, and decreased appetite. Giving the antibiotic with a meal may help reduce these signs. Rarely, hypersensitivity reactions occur causing rashes, fever, blood cell disorders, or anaphylactic shock (severe allergic reaction).

· Corticosteroids (Prednisone, Dexamethasone, Triamcinalone, Depo-medrol, Temaril-P) are potent anti-inflammatory drugs used in a variety of medical conditions, including controlling allergies. Steroids have many common side effects and should be used only as directed by a veterinarian. Side effects include increased thirst, increased urination (animals with weak bladder control may develop incontinence), weight gain, excessive panting, loss of appetite, vomiting or diarrhea. In high doses, steroids may cause immune suppression or gastric ulcers. Long term use of steroids, even at low doses, may cause adrenal gland disease, liver disease, and an increased risk of diabetes. Annual blood tests are recommended for long term use.

· Metronidazole is an antibiotic that is used in certain intestinal or systemic infections. Side effects include lethargy, decreased appetite, and vomiting. Neurological symptoms such as stumbling, falling or balance problems may occur, especially in high doses or with long term use.

· Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs (Rimadyl, Etogesic, Deramaxx, Zubrin, Meloxicam) NSAIDs are commonly used in the treatment of pain and inflammation. The primary side effect is gastrointestinal upset or ulcers (vomiting, diarrhea, loss of appetite, dark tarry stools). Rarely, liver dysfunction/damage may occur. NSAIDs should not be used in cats except under veterinary supervision. Do not use NSAIDs with other anti- inflammatory drugs, including aspirin or aspirin containing products. Over the counter human medications should not be used except as directed by a veterinarian. A blood test checking liver enzymes should be done prior to long term use, and then annually. A follow-up blood test is recommended three weeks after starting on the medication.

· Phenobarbital is an anticonvulsant medication used primarily to treat seizures. Common side effects include sedation, ranging from drowsiness to depression, stumbling when walking, anxiety, increased thirst, appetite and urination. Side effects generally decrease after a few weeks as the pet's system adapts to the medication. If side effects seem severe, please let us know. Liver dysfunction/damage may occur and rarely, blood cell disorders may be seen. An annual drug level and blood test is needed 10-12 hours post pill.

· Sulfa-Trimethoprim (Tribrissen) is an antibiotic. Side effects include decreased tear production (dry eye), allergic reactions (facial swelling, hives), joint swelling, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, increased thirst and increased urination. Rarely, liver dysfunction or red blood cell disorders may occur.

· Thyroxine (Soloxine) is a thyroid hormone used in treating hypothyroidism. Side effects include increased heart rate, increased appetite, increased thirst and urination, excitability and excessive panting. An adjustment in dose may be needed to eliminate these side effects. An annual T4 blood level is needed 4-6 hours post pill. commondrugsideeffects.doc REV: 12/29/03 http://roadrunnerah.com/docs/drug_side_effects.pdf

According to medications.com, there have been over 1,130 to 4,799 complaints from people about side effects from medications such as Yasmin, Mirena, Singulair, Levaquin, Lisinoprol, Nuvaring, Prednisone, Lipitor, and Advair HFA. So I guess the gist of what I am saying is read the labels and question the medications being prescribed to you and your family. Are the side effects more dangerous than the problem you are having? For instance, would you rather have an upset stomach or hip fracture?

My opinion about medications is similar to how I feel about vaccinations. At one time, they were for the greater good and were created to prevent or stop major illnesses and outbreaks. Now they are forced upon us to cover pharmaceutical and doctor payroll’s. As always, it pays to be informed!

In health… Gina

The Resume "Gap"

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 19:40:00 +0000

I will forever be grateful for the opportunity I had to stay at home and raise my triplets for the first five years of their life. I didn’t miss a thing. I saw their first smiles, their first steps and heard their first “I love you.” It has been a miracle to watch them change from such tiny preemie babies into healthy and happy toddlers.

With that said I now have to deal with a typical consequence of being an at-home-Mom for five years; trying to reenter the workforce. The “gap” on my resume is an eyesore. It is usually the first question I am asked on an interview and I am almost positive it is why I am having a more difficult time in finding a job than I did years ago.

Interviewer: “So, tell me about this gap on your resume starting in 2005.”

Me: “I decided to stay home and raise my family.”

Interviewer: [An awkward pause] “Okay.”

Okay seems like an innocent word but it can hold a lot of meaning when it is said in a certain way. Most interviewers say “okay” but I get the feeling they are thinking: (1) Wow – she hasn’t worked in five years. (2) She probably doesn’t know any of the new technology that has been developed over the years. (3) She may not remember how to handle a day in the office. (4) She will have to take off a lot of work days to run kids around to doctors and special events. (5) She has done nothing but relax in front of the television for five years, eating cookies and reading children’s books.

The assumptions made for an at-home-Mom could not be further from the truth. Most of us have developed skills that may take another person a few decades to master. I did a little research and found the top ten skills/qualities an employer is looking for in a future employee. At-home-Moms have perfected all of these:

Communication skills: We teach babies and toddlers how to speak. We are teachers of communication. We are so great at communication we even know what silence means.
Flexibility: We will not survive without perfecting our flexibility skills. We are cooking dinner, wiping markers off the walls, starting a load of laundry and then running downstairs to break up a fight over a toy pony. We are doing all I mentioned above within five minutes.
Negotiation skills: You want to see a Mom with her game-face on? There is no denying the strength behind that face. Negotiation is our specialty. Most men would crumble to a toddler who cries and screams to get what they want. Moms just ignore, clean something and then wait for the child to give in first. Basically, you can’t break us down.
Strong work ethic: We go beyond the call of duty by being on call 24/7 (including all holidays). We never rest and are always looking for ways to improve our efficiency and create a positive environment. We are 100% committed to our work.
Analytical skills: We constantly analyze procedures, events and daily activities to ensure they are done in the most cost-effective way with the best possible outcome. We identify problems long before they arise and are always prepared to tackle them head on.
Organization skills: We organize or we lose control of our household. In my household diapers were organized, bottles were prepared the night before, I created a spreadsheet to track bodily functions to ensure their systems were running correctly. When you have perfected how to track bowel movements of preemie triplets, you have reached the pinnacle of great organization skills.
Honesty and integrity: Children are very curious and ask a lot of questions. As a Mom it is my responsibility to be 100% honest with them. I want them to learn everything they need to learn in order to be a responsible, productive and knowledgeable adult. I always choose the honest route even when they ask me personal questions. However, I do lie about Santa Claus.
Motivation and initiative: Nothing shows motivation or initiative more than a Mom who loves her child. She will stay up all night to care for a sick child, she will encourage a child with wobbly legs to walk and when a doctor says, “There is nothing we can do to cure your child of Autism,” a Mom will search high and low to find a cure regardless.
Teamwork skills: If you are a Mom who participates in play-groups then teamwork skills are fully developed by the time your kids are toddlers. You will easily jump in and help other Moms. When you see any child falling, you immediately run to their rescue. You kiss boo-boos of kids you don’t even know, you help a Mom with full hands carry her baby and you always offer emotional support to new Moms who feel overwhelmed.
Computer skills: Computers are most likely a stay-at-home Mom’s best friend; they keep us connected. We are on Facebook, we blog, we tweet and we join forums. When our kids are sick, we conduct internet research to learn about symptoms and treatments. When our kids are inquisitive and ask, “What does a Zebra say?” we go online and find a voice recording to share with them. We have mastered the skills of putting together a home video to post on YouTube for family on the other side of the world to view. We have perfected Photoshop skills to make ourselves look better in family photos. We create Excel spreadsheets to track our budgets and we put together PowerPoint slide shows to show off our beautiful kids. And, we usually do all of the above with kids climbing on us and interrupting us every two minutes.

Even with a “gap” on my resume and the negative connotations that come along with it, I would never change one ounce of the decision I made. That was a special time in my life where I learned how to care for my kids, how to teach them, how to feed them, how to encourage them and even how to cure them. For me, the “gap” was the most fulfilling time of my life.

Feel free to print out my above list and take to your next interview. When the interviewer tells you, “So, it looks like you haven’t worked in five years” you can give them the list above and say, “I have worked hard, learned a lot and have grown as a person.”

Happy job hunting,

Alicia

Why Don't Stay At Home Mom's Have Spare Time?

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 17:42:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

I read an article the other day (off a friend’s facebook page- thanks Mandy!) where a columnist was answering the age-old question, “Why can’t my stay at home mom friend ever call me back or set time aside for me?” I literally read the article with tears in my eyes….dreaming of a time when I was actually able to get a monthly pedicure. Or wash my hair in more than 4 minutes.
The article is from The Washington Post:

TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

By Carolyn Hax
Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Carolyn:
Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions. Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html.

I have had this struggle lately- trying to manage being at home with my kids, manage the family schedule and manage my own sanity. I have a couple of friends who do not understand why I don’t have time to talk on the phone or answer emails all day and a few more that don’t understand what it’s like to have an ever-changing schedule. It’s frustrating because I am completely type-A and I am all about organization and structure. And I despise “flaky.” I try and explain why I am so busy or why the schedule must change due to my husband’s constantly being gone and I wind up stumbling over myself and then I sound guilty. When my husband is home, he wants to hang with the kids. I will absolutely make sure that happens. So enough of the explanations! Any stay at home mom I know knows what it is all about. I started to think about what it is I do all day and I actually got confused sorting it out! In a nutshell (and this is just a typical morning):

Get up- this can be any time from 6:30 to 8:30 depending on how strict I am with the behavior chart and rewards system. I have been diligent this week so 8:30 it has been and I am grateful!
Make the beds and turn off every electronic device in our house (this is the twins’ favorite thing to do in the morning- turn on every light, walkie talkie, fan and computer.
Make a wholesome, fresh, gluten free breakfast; give out vitamins which is an episode in itself; feed fish; feed dog; let dog out 100 times because he’s 14 ½. Clean up.
Get dressed, brush teeth- kids. Get dressed, brush teeth- me which entails re-securing door alarms and keeping an ear out for broken glass in the event that I actually get to bathe.
Interrupt getting dressed (me) to referee why they both need the same pink crayon at the same time when there are 3 of them. Clean crayon off floors and chairs.
Let dog out again. Make a wholesome, fresh, gluten free lunch. Clean up. Try and answer emails or pay bills…which is impossible because this is when the harassment starts. I can’t complete a thought without being distracted. “Mom, where are we going today?” Three minutes later, “Mom, where are we going today.” Three minutes later…you get the idea. Diversion time. Do they want to color? Play outside? Learn to read? Tell time? Count with money? What am I going to do when they start school? I am going to have to continue to humor them at home if I keep teaching them all this stuff and then the distractions/questions will never stop….but I can’t worry about that now because I just need to get through the Summer!

I have not addressed the arguing, spills, constant questions, phone calls or people at the door, let alone the errands that need to be fit in with twins. Going to the market may take someone without kids 30 minutes. In this house- not so much.
And hello? We are only at 1:00! We still have swim lessons, play dates, dinner, baths and the daily toy cyclone clean up to get through!

So no, I do not have time to talk on the phone. And I don’t put my kids to bed at 5:00 so I can have “me” time (yes- someone I know actually does this!). I have no “me” time! I decided to have children! And just so it’s said, it is the greatest job I have ever had and the most fulfilling. I love watching the kids learn and I figure someday, I will have plenty of time to myself and will be sad about it so I am going to put all of my energy into every question and situation.

I am fortunate in that I have plenty of single girlfriends or friends without children who get it. But for those few who don’t, hopefully this article will open a few eyes!

Happy Chaos!
Gina

Support for People with Food Allergies

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 17:09:00 +0000

Written by: Alicia

I just happened to stumble upon this find: The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network (FAAN). I joined a local triplet connection club and saw a post about a triplet Mom walking for FAAN. Curious, I did my typical Google search and found a great organization. I can't believe I had not heard of them before.

FAAN was established in 1991. Anne Muñoz-Furlong founded the organization after her daughter was diagnosed with milk and egg allergy as an infant. She discovered that information vital to raising a child with food allergies was not widely available. Their mission is "To raise public awareness, to provide advocacy and education, and to advance research on behalf of all those affected by food allergies and anaphylaxis."

Gina has touched on this subject a few times recently and I would like to reiterate the fact that our schools need to be more sensitive to food allergies. My kids are gluten-free/dairy-free and I have learned from my pre-school adventures that most teachers do not know much about this type of food allergy (and quite honestly, why would they if this has never been advocated before)? Some teachers have given my children gluten without knowing it. They look on the label and do not see "gluten" listed under ingredients and think it is okay.

Although I appreciate them looking at the label, a gluten allergy involves so much more than looking for the word, "Gluten." Gluten disguises itself in a hundred different ways. Those with Celiac disease will easily understand my frustration on this. I don't expect teachers to become nutritionists but if they are handing food out to my kids I do want them to understand all of the food allergies (not just peanut allergies). These teachers need to be educated on what to look for or they need to allow parents, like me, to bring in my own food for my children.

Many schools will not let you bring in your own food because they worry about cross contamination which is an understandable concern. There has to be a better way. It seems more and more kids are experiencing food allergies so our schools need to jump on board in order to help protect our children. Procedures have to be put in place in order for parents to drop kids off at school and not worry about if someone will mistakenly feed them a food they are allergic to.

Personally, when I drop my kids off at school I want my only concern to be if they will learn something new today – not what will they eat today.

If you want to learn more about their organization visit their web site: http://www.foodallergy.org/

If you want to help raise awareness by taking a long walk visit: http://www.foodallergywalk.org/site/PageServer?pagename=2010Walks

Take Care,
Alicia

Being Advocates For Our Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 03:29:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

I was reminded of very some valuable lessons recently. Never assume people find something that is important to you, important to them and if there is something you are passionate about, it may be beneficial to explain why. We have to be proud advocates for our children- especially if we are trying to protect them.

I was at an event last year where kids were being offered a bag of candy as a gift. Alicia went in the gate before me and she refused the bag of candy for her kids. As she walked away, I heard the girls at the front table say, “Geez, it’s a party. Let your kids have some fun! It’s just candy!” I was next in line and I also refused the candy, basically telling the girls I didn’t want that junk for my kids either. But it’s not about the candy. It’s about what the candy does to our kids when they have it. Alicia and I both make sure our kids have plenty of fun, but in our houses, we have had to teach our kids that fun does not = sugar.

Ever since I decided to limit the sugar my kids eat due to Lexi’s Hypogammaglobulinemia, I have been criticized by some people who should know better. I have been told how controlling and cruel I am as a mother to deny my kids their fun. Some have said if I deny the kids sugar now, they will become “sugarholics” when they get older. I have been ridiculed about this on many occasions, but I have ignored the comments because I do what is best for my family. I seriously thought people were just being mean. Given the information I have shared about my daughter’s illness, I assumed it was very clear that she was sick (she was bald more than half her life!) and that we were limiting her sugar for a reason. My decisions and wishes as a parent regarding this subject should have been enough. Instead of trying to figure out why I would have to explain or justify myself at all, I realized it might be important to show through photos what happens to my girl when she has too much sugar and see if people would then understand. That worked.

Soon after my daughter was diagnosed with an Immune Disorder, we brought the kids to San Diego. We had been feeding the kids organically for about 6 months at that point and the people we were traveling with literally laughed in our faces when we told them so. They bought french fries and bread for the kids because they felt the avocado and banana we were giving them deprived them of “having a good time.” When we asked them not to feed the kids that stuff, they did so anyway and were smugly satisfied when the kids gobbled up all the bread (but not the fries!). My husband and I were shocked that two people could be so bold. They truly thought they were doing our kids a service by giving them bread against our wishes. This couple never asked why our daughter was bald even though we had tried to bring up the issue with them on several occasions. We should have pushed harder to explain what was going on.

Last week, I brought my daughter to a birthday party. I literally had to step out of the room because I was so annoyed and stressed about the amount of sugar the kids were given (10+ items per kid including cake, cookies and candy). I did not want to stand over, control or embarrass my daughter while she was trying to enjoy the party. Another mom was chastising me in front of Lexi and after I left the room, gave my daughter additional candy. Again- this person probably though they were doing my daughter a service by giving her the sweets she was being denied. I suddenly realized the importance of this situation was not understood and was not being taken seriously.

I soon learned that some of the people closest to us did not realize how sick Lexi had been. The last thing we wanted to do as parents in trying to deal with this was have our child live under the stigma of being “sick.” We did not want to talk about this all the time in front of our girl and make her self-conscious. We just wanted her to enjoy being a toddler! I do not believe that any of these people would intentionally harm our children, but they clearly thought we were making selfish choices for them. In trying to downplay the situation for the sake of our daughter, we managed to do so with everyone else as well.

That’s the key here. Our daughter is no longer diagnosed but that is because of the steps we have taken to help get her healthy and we should be proud of that. Our daughter is no longer “sick” because we monitor her food and take her to see a Holistic doctor. Our daughter does not even realize she has food restrictions- it’s the comments of others that make her notice this is even an issue.

As many of us know, sugar is known to contribute to childhood obesity. This is partly because consuming large amounts of sugar causes insulin to spike and then drop, which can trigger overeating. Sugar has a low nutritional value and is a major contributor to cavities and tooth decay.

The average American gets 20% of daily calories from sugar, which is twice as much as doctors recommend. Some doctors believe that years of eating processed foods leads to repeated bouts of increased insulin, which can exhaust your pancreas, causing diabetes. Excess sugar may also trigger insulin resistance, which makes the body less able to reduce levels of blood sugar.
This doesn't mean that sugar causes diabetes; there's no clear biological link between the two. Sugar is a cause of obesity, which has been linked to heart disease and diabetes in adults, so minimizing the amount of refined sugar in your child's diet goes a long way toward good health later in life. http://www.life123.com/parenting/toddlers/child-nutrition/the-effects-of-sugar-on-children.shtml.

Excess sugar depresses immunity, so in a child with an already compromised Immune System, this can be detrimental. Studies have shown that downing 75 to 100 grams of a sugar solution (about 20 teaspoons of sugar, or the amount that is contained in two average 12-ounce sodas) can suppress the body's immune responses. Simple sugars, including glucose, table sugar, fructose, and honey caused a fifty- percent drop in the ability of white blood cells to engulf bacteria. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/4/T045000.asp.

In my daughter’s case where she was not producing fighter B and T cells, this could be severely damaging. Our efforts to feed her right by limiting her sugar, feeding her organically and by giving her hormone free dairy and meat products has done wonders for her. Without the sugar blocking her brain reception, her body can utilize these healthy foods to grow and develop normal, healthy cells. Since the skin is the largest organ we have, it is in this way that my daughter’s negative reaction to sugar shows. She gets a body rash almost immediately and it is very uncomfortable for her. Then we have to spend the next few days “detoxing” her body of the sugar by feeding her the cleanest, freshest, most organic foods minus sugar- including fruit. When I explain Lexi’s condition now, I include photos of her rash which clearly shows her body’s reaction to sugar.

Nancy Appleton, PhD, clinical nutritionist, has compiled a list of 146 reasons on 'how sugar is ruining your health' in her book Lick the Sugar Habit. Here are some of them:

* Sugar can decrease growth hormone (the key to staying youthful and lean)

* Sugar feeds cancer

* Sugar increases cholesterol

* Sugar can weaken eyesight

* Sugar can cause drowsiness and decreased activity in children

* Sugar can interfere with the absorption of protein

* Sugar causes food allergies

* Sugar contributes to diabetes

* Sugar can contribute to eczema in children

* Sugar can cause cardiovascular disease

* Sugar can impair the structure of DNA

* Sugar can cause hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children

* Sugar contributes to the reduction in defense against bacterial infection (infectious diseases)

* Sugar greatly assists the uncontrolled growth of Candida Albicans (yeast infections)

* Sugar contributes to osteoporosis http://www.naturalnews.com/022692.html

These reasons alone would be enough for me to watch the amount of sugar my children have. Add anything from this list to a child who already has fighter cell development issues and it can only be detrimental.

My main point in writing this blog is to say that parents have the right to choose what is best for their family and those decisions should be respected. What works for one family may not work for another. I am constantly surprised that some people freely give their opinion on what they think you are doing wrong as a parent. That should be taboo! No parent is perfect and we all want what’s best for our kids.

I also want to point out that I assumed every one close to us understood what we have been through regarding Lexi’s diagnosis and I was wrong in doing so. I talked about it. My daughter had no hair. I wish I would have explained myself (for my daughter’s sake) a long time ago and made everyone realize our food choices were not some crazy kick we were on. We made these choices on purpose and for very good reasons!

As usual, thank God for my mom and dad for supporting our choices and for helping those around us understand the importance of maintaining this lifestyle. I believe we have finally had the chance to resolve this issue with some of our family and friends and hopefully the confusion and judgment surrounding this situation will be gone forever!

In health and peace~
Gina

Shop Around for the Right Pediatrician

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Wed, 19 May 2010 02:36:00 +0000

Written by: Alicia

I just moved to a new town and have been on the hunt for a new pediatrician. This is always the hardest thing to do after a move. If you have children with health issues then you will understand my desire to find the right doctor. It is scary to have to start from scratch with a doctor who does not know your child’s medical history.

It can be discouraging at times while you are searching as well. You have to explain your child’s medical history over and over to every new doctor you meet until you find the right one. However, I am a firm believer it is well worth the effort. Matter of fact, the decision you make may save your child’s life someday so it is not a decision to make lightly.

I treat finding a new doctor just like I would if I was looking for an employee for my company. I would want to hire someone who is an expert in their field, a team player, someone who listens well and someone who does not hesitate to make critical decisions when they have to.

That may sound a bit silly to someone who has a child with no major health issues but if your child does have major issues, these are the characteristics you want. As some of you know, I almost lost my son two years ago due to a severe asthma attack. I watched as a team of doctors fought to save his life for two hours. Then, I watched as a team from another hospital arrive and save his life within one half hour.

The second team of doctors was from Children’s Hospital and they arrived to transport my son in their well equipped ambulance. They were able to get my son in stable condition almost immediately. It was amazing to see them swoop in and take over. They ended up teaching the other team of doctors a few lessons on how to help clear out a child’s chest while mechanically ventilated.

Why the other team of doctors did know this technique I will never know. What I am now sure of is that it is scary to think about how doctors in the same field can have such a difference in knowledge.

All pediatricians are not the same. Some are current, some are not. Some are good listeners and others have a God-complex. Some consider a mom’s gut feeling while others say we “Google” too much. Some doctors always seem to be advanced in the treatment or care you need while others have not opened up a medical book/journal in years. Matter of fact, I would not even have my kids if I didn’t keep searching for the right fertility doctor. My last doctor tried a new medication on me that did the trick. Five years of struggling and he figured my body out in a matter of months.

It is important to shop around for the right pediatrician. Take it from a mom who has literally seen the vast difference in knowledge between doctors in the same room. There I was in a room full of doctors: One group would not have been able to save my son. The other group was much more knowledgeable, did not hesitate one ounce and saved him quickly.

Shop around,
Alicia

15 Fascinating Facts About Your Dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Tue, 11 May 2010 17:59:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

In April, 2009, I posted a blog about Dream Analysis. I have always been fascinated about my dreams, what they mean and how keeping a pad of paper at my bedside helps me remember some amazing details. We were contacted by Hanna Wood at Mritechnicianschools.org, asking if we would link the following information to our site. I was very intrigued by what can affect dreams...I have even identified that if I eat tomatoes in any form before sleep, I am in for a wild ride! I thought I would share the research:

15 Fascinating Facts About Your Dreams

(http://www.mritechnicianschools.org/211/15-fascinating-facts-about-your-dreams/)

As a college student, your sleep habits are probably worth a serious study all their own. From napping in the library to zoning out in class to crashing after late-night partying or all-night study sessions, you probably have some crazy sleep habits and even weirder dreams. But even if you have a normal sleep schedule, the way the human brain dreams is pretty fantastic. Here are 15 fascinating facts about your dreams that you may be surprised to learn.

1. Late-night snacks can cause nightmares: Nightmares in adults are much less common than in children, but there are some factors that can trigger scary dreams. Besides stress, medications and depression, late night munchies can interfere with your body's metabolism. Eating late will make your brain feel like it needs to stay active for your body, which can lead to crazy dreams if you fall asleep instead of use up your energy.

2. Dreams occur all the time, not just during REM sleep: Doctors and scientists used to believe that dreams could only occur when people were in their deepest cycles of sleep, or REM sleep. In fact, dreams can occur at any time, though dreams you have during NREM sleep are usually less intense and less vivid. The National Sleep Research Project proposes that "it's possible there may not be a single moment of our sleep when we are actually dreamless."

3. Day dreams are real: The psychology department at UC Santa Cruz explains that our bodies and brains don't necessarily require actual sleep to dream. As long as certain forces are in effect and the environment is right — when we tune out external stimuli but our brains are still active, for example — we have the potential to dream.

4. Smells affect your dreams: A 2008 German study found that positive and negative smells affect dreams: positive smells result in positive dreams while negative or unpleasant smells result in bad dreams.

5. Blind people don't "see" in their dreams: For people who can see, it can be hard to imagine dreaming without lifelike imagery. But blind people dream, too, though not in the same way. According to The Accidental Mind, people who were born blind or who became blind at a very young age generally experience dreams according to their other senses.

6. The act of dreaming may be like watching a movie: The National Sleep Research Project explains that when you dream, your eye movements react differently during different parts of your dream. Scientists equate this eye movement with the same way you watch a movie.

7. When you wake up determines whether or not you'll remember your dreams: If you can't remember your dreams, there's no need to worry. Whether or not you remember your dreams is determined by when you wake up. If you wake up in the middle of a dream, for instance, you'll be much more likely to remember it than if you wake up after you stopped dreaming, or even during a less significant part of your dream.

8. Your dreaming ability matures by 5th grade: Young children do dream, but UC Santa Cruz's psych department explains that their dreams are usually more "bland." We don't realize our dreaming potential until 5th grade or so.

9. Dreams help depression: It's still debatable whether or not dreams hold any true meaning, but many scientists do believe that dreaming is therapeutic, as it lets your mind freely associate to feelings and explore emotions.

10. Your vitals are similar to your waking self when you dream in the REM cycle: You might think that sleeping is all about relaxing, but when your body reaches the REM cycle, your heart beat, breathing and facial movements increase to a level similar to that of being awake.

11. Night terrors affect you when you sleep and when you're awake: Night terrors usually occur in children 4-12 years of age and are much more intense than nightmares. Sleepwalking may occur, and also unlike nightmares, they last even after you've woken up. Scientists believe that night terrors happen earlier in the night for kids, but at any time of the sleep cycle for adults.

12. iPads and other tech gadgets can make you have crazy dreams: Reading a book in bed is a good way to fall asleep, but not if you're reading your iPad or similarly faux-lit object. The unnatural glow from gadgets keeps your brain active, which can trigger restless sleep and even nightmares or crazy dreams.

13. Your body uses outside influences to keep you asleep: Unless you are in a very deep sleep, your body tries to use external forces — like music or other outside noises — and incorporate them into your dreams as a way of keeping you asleep.

14. You're more sexually aroused when you dream: Just as your heart rate and breathing increase when you're in the REM cycle and ready to dream, you become more sexually aroused, too.

15. We forget 95-99% of our dreams: Sometimes, dreams make such an impression on our conscious minds that they're hard to forget even days later. But for the most part, we forget the majority of the dreams we have each night. Scientists even calculate that we dispose of the memories of 95-99% of our dreams. This tendency to "forget" could be from the fact that we aren't even paying much attention to our dreams as they occur.

Sweet dreams!
Gina

Alicia's View on Turning Forty

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 07:00:00 +0000

Written by: Alicia

On April 27th I turn forty. I had to release my sadness in a poem. Enjoy!

Alicia's View on Turning Forty

My back hurts
My knees crackle
My skin is thinning
My thinking is less radical

I can’t wear contacts
Doctor said my eyes are too dry
Nearly failed a driving test
Because when asked if I need glasses, I lie

My eyes are more droopy
And so are a few other things
They now hang like socks of sand
No more sexy bras, now I shop for slings

My belly isn’t the same either
It used to have sexy ripples
Now I can stretch it one mile
Because when giving birth, I do it in triples

Is that another stink’n vein?
Why is my body so cruel?
I guess it could be worse
At least I don’t drool

I don’t need handicap parking
I don’t wear diapers yet
I don’t need bifocals
And falling is not a threat

I guess I am doing okay because…
I can stretch my back
I can strengthen my knees
I can buy sexy glasses
I can shop for push up bras
I can wear Spanx and
I can tan my skin

Being forty is not so bad
There are a lot of things I can cover- up
Just shoot that camera from above
And never go in for a close-up.

Food Revolution!

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 17:58:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

Has anyone watched or heard about this new Food Revolution promoted by Jamie Oliver? I heard about it months ago and ignored it because I thought it was just another chef trying to reach national stardom. Then I was watching TV one Friday night because there was nothing else on and I got hooked! Jamie Oliver has been working with an elementary and high school in Huntington, West Virginia (“We Are Marshall”) to change the menu options for the kids in the town. He met with a lot of trepidation to say the least, and he had a tough time trying to instigate change.

In the first episode I watched, I saw that the elementary kids were eating PIZZA for breakfast! I about passed out! Jamie was showing the food choices kids are given while at school and it was limited to processed, frozen and unhealthy food. I thought of how I would feel if my kids went to that school and had only these options to super-charge their bodies mid-day during school. No way!! I have worked so hard to make proper food choices for my kids, especially since Alexa’s past diagnosis of Hypogammaglobulinemia, and I would be really bent if the only options they have are total crap. The lunch ladies kept saying, “We could serve vegetables and salad but the kids don’t like it so it just sits in the trays.” Well sure. If you put veggies up against frozen pizza, of course the pizza is going to sell out! Jamie Oliver suggests ensuring that ALL lunch options are nutritious so that kids can have a choice, but they have to choose from good, fresh foods.

I joined the revolution. Jamie Oliver is asking that healthy food options replace frozen, processed junk at these schools. Instead of fries, he suggests a stir-fry with vegetables. Instead of pizza and frozen chicken strips, he suggests chili, homemade spaghetti sauce with buckwheat past and fresh fruit. Instead of strawberry and chocolate milk, he suggests plain white milk. I didn’t even know there was strawberry milk!! I guess I am shocked to know that these food options are not available in schools and that kids really are being given junk. I am sure I could dig up a million studies about sugar and improper foods versus attention span and educational production…but I won’t. Unless someone challenges me to! Many suggest that the food tastes bad- that more organic foods just don’t stack up. Well minus the extra sugar and salt, I, personally am OK with having my kids eat the good stuff!

http://www.abc.go.com/shows/jamie-olivers-food-revolution

Here’s the link to Jamie’s website promoting the program and where you can join the revolution. Interestingly enough, California has 49,219 of 368,179 supporters, with Texas and New York at 24,660 and 22,311 joined respectively. How are parents not having a conniption over the food our kids are being served?! Are there certain schools that have better options than others? Do private schools have a more nutritious menu? I would love to hear from all the parents out there whose children have lunch while at school. We hear so much about ADHD, Autism and Immune Disorders lately, I am wondering if other parents find a correlation between food choices and behavior and educational success. I am so curious to know how the rest of you feel about school lunches..and do you have your kids brown bag it instead?

The truth is, we can only do so much as parents. When the kids are at school, they will have to make their own choices about what they eat and I’m not so sure I would choose the broccoli over the french fries if I am being honest! That’s why I think it’s so important to have a salad bar and healthy options and not just processed and frozen food. Thoughts?

In health~
Gina

Define Personal Strength

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 19:56:00 +0000

Written by: Alicia

All of us bloggers have written “Oprah-like” blog posts every now and then…so here is mine.

I have been thinking a lot about personal strength lately. We all face circumstances in life where our strength is tested and I have had to go through this test recently. For that reason, I wanted to explore the definition of personal strength.

I read in an article by WestEd (an educational research & development agency) that stated, “Personal strengths are what resilience looks like.” Resilience is defined as the ability to bounce back from setbacks quickly. So, how do you define personal strength? Apparently, we have to define this for ourselves.

I thought about it for a while and came up with my definition of personal strength. Here it is:

Personal strength is having self-confidence. It is the ability to communicate with yourself in a positive manner. It is having a vision of who you want to be, how you want to live, how you want to fulfill your vision and then having the faith you can achieve success. Personal strength is also about having independence and not depending on anyone else to tell you how to think or feel. It is the ability to make moral decisions that are best for you and then acting on them; having an internal sense of control. Lastly, it is about having the ability to laugh at yourself because laughter transforms pain.

That is my definition. Think about your definition and write it down. It is empowering to be able to define how you view personal strength. I have faced enough situations in life by now to know that in difficult times your personal strength is what will see you through.

…well, that and Oprah of course.

Take care,
Alicia

http://friendinreach.blogspot.com/

Healthcare Fees Got’ya Again

noreply@blogger.com (Natalie) — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 07:00:00 +0000

I’d like to share this experience. It is brief, but true. Last week, my husband called me at around 8 am in the morning after leaving for work. He had traveled an hour south from our home to meet a customer. Breathless, through the phone he gasped, “Nat, I have a kidney stone and it is passing right now. I have got to get to a hospital. I know this is not what we needed.” This was the third time he has passed a kidney stone in the last few years.

Part of me was trying to stay calm and collected so I could be a support to my husband and figure out how to get to him. But, like him, I was wondering how on earth we were going to pay for this visit? He had not been given insurance cards yet from his new employer and we are in the middle of a foreclosure. We have been hit by several medical crises, deaths, a job loss, and now the loss of our home. The last thing we needed was a huge hospital bill, to top things off. We are in a teetering balance, like the Eiffel tower trying to stand straight and tall.

My husband called me a few hours later to inform me that the hospital was ready for him to be picked up after they did all their tests. I asked him if he had passed his stone yet? He had not. I asked him why they were sending him out? He said, “Probably because I don’t have proof of insurance yet.” His employer’s accountant lost the paperwork he filled out when he was hired, did not inform him until after the date he qualified.

You know, everyone says it is insurance that is stripping us clean, but I have to share what the ‘hospital’ stuck us with.

My husband was in the ER for four hours. They never hooked him up to an IV. Instead of giving him an x-ray, which would have been much cheaper, they gave him a ‘couple’ CT-Scans to view and confirmed the kidney stone was there. They gave him a container to throw up in, morphine, and nausea medicine, checked him for infection (he did not have), then sent him home with a written prescription for almost $100.00 worth of medication. He passed his stones at home over a period of four days without the assistance of the hospital. It was tough.

In return, we received a whopping bill from the hosptial for the services they say they rendered:

Medical/Surgical Supplies...$60.37
Laboratory..................$324.00
CT Scan/Body............... $3,130.00 (My husband never had a whole body scan done)
CT Scan/Other...............$982.00 (I’d like to know what “other” is)
Emergency Dept/Facility.....$2,410.00 (You’d think this was a overnight stay)
Drugs Requiring Coding......$29.77 (morphine and nausea)
Self-Adminst. Drugs.........$31.69 (We got a prescription slip, no medicine)
Receipts, Adjustments
We paid out-of-pocket -$100.00 (credit)
________
Total $6,867.83

Now the Radiology Bill has come in at a total of $470.00. Read, was a CT of the Pelvic ($200) and a CT of the Abdomen ($270). Notice, there is not CT for the BODY anywhere in this bill.

So the tallied total so far is...$7, 337.83! I am sure labs are on their way too.

A doctor friend of ours, informed me that it only costs $10.00 to do an EKG, yet what do you and I get charged?

We wonder why so many people are upset about healthcare.

Natalie

Yoga & Meditation

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:01:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

I have been looking for a place to meditate to help clear my head and to experience total relaxation. I’m sure everyone has an incredibly busy life so to be able to sit, relax and focus without the usual distractions of the day would be so healing. I try, but attempting to even take a bath while hearing running, screaming and Disney’s Princess Sing Along is tough to do! Between managing the family schedule, the kids, dog and day to day errands, I barely have time to get a monthly pedicure let alone relax on a daily basis. To me, yoga and meditation sound like pure heaven!

You've probably heard that yoga is good for you. Maybe you have even tried yoga and discovered that it makes you feel better. But what are the specific health benefits can you expect to enjoy from doing yoga regularly? As always, when I investigate stuff like this, I like to share what I find. If this blog promotes relaxation for even one person, through yoga or another form, that would be great! I found there are many types of Yoga and many studios create their own variations of each practice. I will discuss some of the main forms.

Meditation is a holistic discipline by which the practitioner attempts to get beyond the reflexive, "thinking" mind into a deeper state of relaxation or awareness. Meditation is a component of many religions, and has been practiced since antiquity. It is also practiced outside religious traditions. Different meditative disciplines encompass a wide range of spiritual goals—from achievement of a higher state of consciousness, compassion and loving kindness, to greater focus, creativity or self-awareness, or simply a more relaxed and peaceful frame of mind. ~Wikipedia

Asana: Any of various bodily positions assumed in yogic exercise.

Physical Benefits:
Flexibility: Stretching your tight body in new ways will help it to become more flexible, bringing greater range of motion to muscles and joints. Over time, you can expect to gain flexibility in your hamstrings, back, shoulders and hips.

Strength: Many yoga poses require you to support the weight of your own body in new ways, including balancing on one leg (such as in Tree Pose) or supporting yourself with your arms (such as in Downward Facing Dog). Some exercises require you to move slowly in and out of poses, which also increases strength.

Muscle tone: As a by-product of getting stronger, you can expect to see increased muscle tone. Yoga helps shape long, lean muscles.

Pain Prevention: Increased flexibility and strength can help prevent the causes of some types of back pain. Many people who suffer from back pain spend a lot of time sitting at a computer or driving a car. That can cause tightness and spinal compression, which you can begin to address with yoga. Yoga also improves your body’s alignment, both in and out of class, which helps prevent many other types of pain.

Better Breathing: Most of us breathe very shallowly into the lungs and don't give much thought to how we breathe. Yoga breathing exercises, called Pranayama, focus the attention on the breath and teach us how to better use our lungs, which benefits the entire body. Certain types of breath can also help clear the nasal passages and even calm the central nervous system, which has both physical and mental benefits.

Mental Benefits:
Mental Calmness: Yoga asana practice is intensely physical. Concentrating so intently on what your body is doing has the effect of bringing calmness to the mind. Yoga also introduces you to meditation techniques, such as watching how you breathe and disengagement from your thoughts, which help calm the mind.

Stress Reduction: Physical activity is good for relieving stress, and this is particularly true of yoga. Because of the concentration required, your daily troubles, both large and small, seem to melt away during the time you are doing yoga. This provides a much-needed break from your stressors, as well as helping put things into perspective. The emphasis yoga places on being in the moment can also help relieve stress, as you learn not to dwell on past events or anticipate the future. You will leave a yoga class feeling less stressed than when you started.

Body Awareness: Doing yoga will give you an increased awareness of your own body. You are often called upon to make small, subtle movements to improve your alignment. Over time, this will increase your level of comfort in your own body. This can lead to improved posture and greater self-confidence. ~yoga.about.com/od/ beginningyoga/a/benefits.htm

Bikram: also referred to as Hot Yoga takes place in a much higher than normal temperatures. Exercise rooms are often above 90 degrees in order to loosen up your body and spine for all of the strenuous flexing that is done. Sweat also helps to move toxins out of the body.

Vinyasa: means breath-synchronized movement and tends to be a more vigorous style based on the performance of a series of poses called Sun Salutations, in which movement is matched to the breath. A Vinyasa class will typically start with a number of Sun Salutations to warm up the body for more intense stretching that's done at the end of class. The focus is on moving and flowing through constant asanas.

Jivamukti: This type of yoga combines deep meditation with a strong physical workout. The cofounders of this type of yoga combined Ashtanga with a variety of spiritual teachings. While there is still the same amount of flowing, strengthening, and strenous asanas as Vinyasa yoga, but with chants, meditations, and other spiritual aspects of yoga added in.

Iyengar: This style of practice is most concerned with bodily alignment. In yoga, the word alignment is used to describe the precise way in which your body should be positioned in each pose in order to obtain the maximum benefits and avoid injury. Iyengar practice usually emphasizes holding poses over long periods versus moving quickly from one pose to the next (flow). Also, Iyengar practice encourages the use of props, such as yoga blankets, blocks and straps, in order to bring the body into alignment.

Ashtanga: (power yoga), which means "eight limbs" in Sanskrit, is a fast-paced, intense style of yoga. A set series of poses is performed, always in the same order. Ashtanga practice is very physically demanding because of the constant movement from one pose to the next. In yoga terminology, this movement is called flow. If a class is described as Power Yoga, it will be based on the flowing style of Ashtanga, but not necessarily keep strictly to the set Ashtanga series of poses.

Kundalini: The emphasis in Kundalini is on the breath in conjunction with physical movement, with the purpose of freeing energy in the lower body and allowing it to move upwards. All asana practices make use of controlling the breath. But in Kundalini, the exploration of the effects of the breath (also called prana, meaning energy) on the postures is essential. Kundalini uses rapid, repetitive movements rather than poses held for a long time, and the teacher will often lead the class in call and response chanting.

Hatha: This mellow form of yoga focuses on simple poses that flow from one to the other at a very comfortable pace. Participants are encouraged to go at their own pace, taking time to focus on the breathing and meditation in their practice. This yoga is ideal for winding down at the end of a tough day.

Kripalu: is more spontaneous, flowing, and meditation orientated. Kripalu yoga starts with the first stage of postural alignment and intertwining of breath and movement, and the poses are held a short time.
The student progresses to the second stage with meditation included and poses held for longer. Finally, the practice of poses becomes a spontaneous dynamic movement. The essence of Kripalu yoga is experienced through a continuous flow of postures whilst meditating, for gentle yet dynamic yoga.
Practice would start with meditation and centering, breathing, warm up movements to heat up and prepare for poses, yoga postures, guided posture flows and relaxation.

Sivananda: Yoga has a series of 12 poses, with the Sun Salutation, breathing exercises, relaxation, and mantra chanting as the basis. These are the elements in a typical class:
Relaxation, Mantra Chanting, Breath Control, Sun Salutation, Leg Lifts, Headstand, Shoulder Stand and Plough, Fish, Forward Bend, Cobra, Locust, Bow, Spinal twist, Balancing posture (which is usually the peacock pose), Standing forward bend, Triangle Mantras, and Universal Prayer Final Relaxation ~yoga.org.nz/what-is-yoga/yoga_styles.htm

I sincerely hope everyone has a form or method of relaxation that helps you unwind and clear your mind. I believe Yoga can help me in so many ways and I need to get started already! Anything that promotes peace, happiness and stress reduction is a great idea!

In peace and relaxation~
Gina

Infertility Video

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:05:00 +0000

Written by: Alicia

Here is a short video we put together about infertility. We want to let people, who are currently struggling, know they are not alone. In fact, 7.3 million in the USA suffer. In the video we list some of the well-known reasons for infertility and then we list some of the not so well-known reasons. The not so well-known reasons are a few of the topics we researched and wrote about in our book, “A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility.”

Please support infertility education and prevention.

Life- Choices, Issues and How To Be Inspired

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:23:00 +0000

Written By: Gina

I remember a time when making decisions was easy. When I was younger, there were endless possibilities and I could only think in positive terms. What happens as we get older? When did I lose that glow- that positive spark I always used when dealing with family issues or making choices regarding my future? Am I the only one that feels this way? We have such power in the choices we make, yet we make so many based on fear and doubt. It happens- we experience more things and people in life and learn valuable lessons...some tougher than others. I am just learning a lot of my lessons at an older age.

As I get older and reality sets in, I see how people really view things. When I was young, I thought everyone was my friend and that they all had my best interests at heart. What I see now is that most people have their best interests at heart. Which is completely understandable. However, I would still like to hold on to the belief that lending a helping hand rather than a closed fist is the way to go. Whatever happened to tolerance and forgiveness and just being kind to one another? Whatever happened to “treat others as you would like to be treated?”

As I get older, the questions I ask myself get harder. Like when is enough, enough? What constitutes self-respect? I was raised to “keep the peace” because it’s the “right thing to do?” Why is it the right thing to do and for whom? What if someone dumps all over you? I need to set an example for my children..so do I teach them to ignore malicious behavior and act like everything is fine (keeping the peace) or do I tell them to stand up for themselves and do the right thing? When can we all say, “It’s not OK?”
Help me understand how to do this…can anyone provide insight? Tell me what your thoughts are- I value our readers’ opinions.

This was sent to me by someone and I really liked the message. I have been working on bringing more peace into my life. Sometimes I talk too much and say the wrong things, sometimes I am too sensitive, but it is all done with the desire to figure things out and grow as a person. I am seeking truth:

Choose to love- rather than hate: Hate is ugly and living with hate makes people ugly. I choose love any day of the week! But I have also learned that sometimes in order to do so, you need to walk away. I pray for the strength to let things roll off my back, but I am not always able to do that. Limiting the time I spend with those that hurt me gives me the strength to carry on in a more positive way. Not having to deal with it means not having to deal with it.

Choose to laugh- rather than cry: Amen! Thank God for Disneyland, hanging out with friends and Jim Carrey! I don’t waste a lot of time crying..I would much rather enjoy a good belly laugh that comes from a healthy and positive heart and mind. To that end, when I cry, those close to me know I must be really frustrated and hurt.

Choose to create- rather than destroy: This is why I chose to write a book with Alicia. I chose to help other women regarding infertility even though I had to bare my soul to do so. I feel it is more creative to discuss and validate past hurts in an attempt to help others than it is to ignore my infertility struggle. I have learned that some people do not appreciate my honesty :) but that’s OK. I need to be true to myself.

Choose to persevere- rather than quit: Never say “I can’t,” or “I quit!” This is a huge lesson I drill into my kids daily. I will win this game called life because I was given two precious angels to guide through it. Not to mention I feel I am important enough to enjoy happiness. I am always looking for ways to improve and I am completely aware that I am not perfect. As long as people have the desire to do better, that's OK in my book.

Choose to praise- rather than gossip: Oooh. I wish I was the type of person that saw the good in others- even when they lie, manipulate and live their lives based on material possessions and competition. I will admit though, that if I gossip, I usually tell the person what I said or what I think anyway. What I pray for- what I really wish, is that I didn’t waste precious time worrying about such things.

Choose to heal- rather than wound: I have spent a lot of time healing my sweet girl and it has paid off! Plus the research in the book will help a lot of people. Now for me…maybe some yoga or kickboxing? I always love a good discussion about life too- girlfriend time is the best for that! Healing for me has come in many forms over the years. The biggest lesson I have learned is that a lot of things from your child hood resurface when you have kids (yours and your spouse’s). I was blessed with a lot of love, good advice and virtue, but I need to “break the chain” on some behaviors too.

Choose to give- rather than steal: These all have so many meanings but this one I take literally. Have an open heart and I believe that will come back to you.

Choose to act- rather than procrastinate: Life is too short to not try something new. I have never been much of a procrastinator- I don’t believe in it. I rarely sit on an issue or task for long- drives my husband nuts! It is this issue that fear affects the most, I think.

Choose to grow- rather than rot: Mentally, spiritually, personally. What do people do to develop these? What do you find helps you grow as a person? Please share- I would love some suggestions! Is there a book you read, saying you live by or place you visit to inspire you?

Choose to pray- rather than curse: I seriously need to work on this one. I admit fully that I am a giving, positive person until you attack, lie to or cold shoulder me. I really need to start going to church- it is an hour I have valued in the past that helps straighten out my thinking. It definitely helps me make decisions based on a loving heart rather than angry one.

Choose to live- rather than die: I choose to live and I will keep climbing that mountain!! Our lives are a gift and we should make the most of it.

~God Memorandum by Og Mandino

I would really, really love people’s feedback. I completely desire to be a better person and rise above the challenges in my life. I want to hear what you all do to promote peace and happiness. I value your help and inspiration! I will say that time heals all wounds, in my case anyway. If people don’t want to change, it's the way it is and that makes things a lot easier. I am curious to know though, how people get through this stuff. Tell me your story!

In Peace~
Gina

"A Girlfriend's Guide Through Infertility" Web Site

noreply@blogger.com (Friend In Reach) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 02:53:00 +0000

Written by: Alicia

“A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility” is a book we wrote in an effort to support other women and men experiencing infertility. While going through infertility I wanted so much to find a book like ours. It seemed most of the books I read focused on the general details of infertility and all of the possible treatments for it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved these books and learned a lot. These books are certainly a necessity.

However, I wanted to find a more personal book. I wanted to hear the raw emotions a woman goes through while struggling with infertility. Basically, I didn’t want to feel alone in my struggle. I wanted to be able to relate to someone else. I wanted to know if the feelings I was experiencing were typical for a woman going through this or if I needed to admit myself into a psych ward somewhere.

Along with our personal struggles, our book also focuses on infertility education and prevention. Gina and I both researched possible products, environmental issues and other circumstances that can poorly affect a woman and a man’s fertility. The information we have collected is a necessity for every young adult to read. We hope to someday have our information added to sex and health education books given to elementary and junior high school students.

We have been working on this book for three years. The more writing we have done and the more women we have talked to, the more we certainly feel there is a need for our book. A great number of women can relate to us and we can relate to them. It seems some of the crazy thoughts I had during my struggle are typical of a woman experiencing infertility. Suddenly, I began to feel that my feelings were “normal” and normalcy during infertility is a rare feeling to have.

If you are currently struggling with infertility, I want you to read some of the following quotes we have collected from our Infertility Survey. I feel I could have written a number of these myself. If you are looking for women and men to relate to, here they are:

“Infertility is a curse, even in this day and age, there is a certain stigma attached to it, and more so if you have miscarriages. It is a process that drains you emotionally, physically and financially. It is one of the toughest test any marriage can face.”

“I never thought getting pregnant would be so hard. I've spent the last 15 years trying NOT to get pregnant. Sometimes I wonder if it's punishment for having "too much fun". Why is it someone with a diet of soda pop, crack, and chips can get pregnant but not someone willing to almost give their soul?”

“I feel my case is hopeless. My next step will be a biopsy to see if they can get sperm. If not it will be a dead end for me unless some new treatment comes out before I am to old.”

“Infertility is tough especially when people around you seem to be conceiving as and when they want to. And 'innocent' questions and comments about children/pregnancy such as 'are you planning to have kids sometime?', or 'don't worry you are still young,' can hurt badly. If only people knew what to/what not to say. I think awareness will help.”

“It would be nice to know more about secondary infertility. There is a lot of information about people who can't get pregnant the first time, but for those of us with secondary infertility there is very little. My first pregnancy was unplanned 8 years ago and now that I want to plan #2 we can't seem to catch any luck.”

“I wanted to have another child, I just can't afford any more treatments. Every headline in the news is about someone who mistreated their child. We are great parents...it isn't fair.”

“Thank you so much for doing this. It's amazing how little is taught to us about preserving our fertility. When my cycle started changing - periods got shorter, started spotting between periods - even my ob/gyn told me to be glad they've gotten shorter! There was nothing to worry about. Spotting is normal. We need to listen to our bodies. If our periods are changing, something is changing inside us to cause the change. I'm just so glad that someone is finally working toward finding these things out.”

We have over 400 surveys filled out and I have a lot more quotes to post. I will post them periodically because I think they speak for so many of us. In the meantime, please support our book and visit our “A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility” web site.

On our new site you can also view a few chapters of our book we have online at the HarperCollins’ site called, Authonomy. Please take some time to read our chapters and your feedback would be much appreciated.

We wish the very best,
Alicia