Are you taking part in NaNoWriMo this year? If so, then you’re probably at a point where you’d love some distraction, but you totally can’t afford the time as you’re working toward that 50,000 word deadline. Always one to be helpful, I’m offering some links to videos that focus on NaNoWriMo. That way, you can waste your time on the computer while still having some sort of legitimate claim to the idea that you’re working toward your goal. Whose got your back? That’s right. I do. If you’re a slacker, that is.

So, what does it take to become a novelist? There are a few things you need, according to this author who felt like she should devote an entire two-minute video to the subject. Feel free to watch it. If not, I’ll sum up: You need a beginning, a middle, and an end, as well as to sit down and write the story.

And here I thought it was all difficult and stuff.

An eclectic bunch of Brits today, and this time I don’t mean me. The great, the surreal and the genius!

Will Self is an elaborate and intricate writer so you would think that his prose would need complete silence at almost monasterial levels. However, his approach is even more complex than his writing. Apart from working on a manual typewriter (quaint yet what a pain in the ass) as early in the morning as possible he works on multiple drafts at the same time. He waits until the first draft is 80% finished and then draft two and subsequently draft three. He says it gives him a, ‘grasp of the totality of the book’!
He goes onto to talk of battling the loneliness of the writer, which he believes is alleviated by the following of Rituals. He smokes, the more noble and ritualistic pipes and cigars and drinks Coffee, tea and what he calls strange infusions! Knowing Mr Self’s colourful past, that could mean a number of things. Overall, he states, you have to have a  healthy appetite for solitude and if you don’t, you have little business being a writer.

C.S. Lewis constantly lamented that he rarely had a “normal” day but he always aimed to have a standard day that was repeatable, building up the illusion of routine, even if he failed to live up to it. He would choose to breakfast at exactly eight and to be at his desk by nine, there to read and write until one (oh and if a cup of good tea or coffee was brought to him around eleven, he was very appreciative). As you can see from his exacting timings, lunch should be on the table at one precisely! By two (at the latest) he would be on the road for a walk OR a talk, never both at the same time as he did not like to be distracted from his concentration on specific pleasures. He would arrive back from his walk at four-fifteen and would take tea in solitude. He liked to read and eat as the same time (as do I) but never poetry, which he saw as blasphemous! He preferred ‘gossipy, formless’ books which could be opened anywhere. Whereas I imagined he was reading the thirties equivalent of National Enquirer, he was actually devouring Boswell, a translation of Herodotus and a History of English Literature. Light reading then…
At five he was back at work again until seven. Then an evening meal and at last people were allowed to talk to him (or failing that light reading).  Bed was no later than eleven and he would fall asleep dreading the knock of the postman as he despised correspondence and saw it a burden. His ideal life was quite solitary so he was ideally suited towards his literary intentions.

Charles Darwin, as summarised by his son Frances had developed a rigid that seldom changed in his later years, even when he had visitors. He felt that a half an hour of conversation at a time was all that he could stand, because it completely exhausted him.

0700 – Up and off for a short walk (somewhat of a theme occurring)
0745 – Breakfast alone (again, a theme)
0800–0930 – Worked in his study which he considered this his best working time.
0930–1030 – Went to drawing room and read his letters, which were usually volumes from supporters and detractors alike, followed by reading aloud of family letters.
1030-1200 – Returned to study, which period he considered the end of his working day. END! Wow. Well I guess the guy figured out evolution so he was due some downtime in his latter years.
1200 – Walk, starting with visit to greenhouse, usually alone or with a dog.
1245 – Lunch with whole family (his main meal of the day). After lunch read The Times of London and answered his letters.
1500 – Had a lie down in his bedroom or on the sofa and smoked a cigarette whilst he listened to a novel or other light literature read by Emma Darwin, his wife.
1600 – Walked again.
1630–1730 – Worked in his study usually clearing his affairs.
1800 – Rested again in bedroom with Emma reading aloud.
1930 – High tea while his family dined.Sometimes he played backgammon with Emma, usually followed by reading to himself whilst Emma played the piano.
2200 – He was usually in bed by 2230 but slept unusually badly.

So this instalment of the LitBrits shows that they like their routine and rituals, their traditions, if you will. This probably says a lot about the former Empire dwellers. Next time we will look at our more contemporary cousins and the best sellers.

If you’re not reading this through your RSS Reader, it’s safe to assume the person who posted this is a content thief and should be reported.

I’ve made no secret about the fact that I absolutely love being a freelancer. It affords me a flexible schedule, and I relish not having a boss breathing down my neck. Still, I love to see when people with “legit” jobs get creative and obviously enjoy themselves. Today’s clip is of a really fun presentation a math teacher did for his students. I can’t decide if it’s cool-cool or nerd-cool…

Remember that awesome Billy Joel song and how it summed up, like, a ton of history in just a couple of minutes, while simultaneously taking absolutely no responsibility for anything that has happened?  That was cool, and it had a beat you could dance to, Dick.

Today I came across this video that sums up the last decade in seven minutes flat.  I like the way the narrator manages to get in a few zingers, even while talking a mile a minute.

ETA: Oops, I guess it’s seven minutes and three seconds. Now how will we find the time to watch it?

Sorry, but it’s the truth.

Most are weird good, the type of weird that brings a smile to your face and an expedience to your typing. The kind of weird that your loved ones smirk at but sometimes don’t get, but they’re cool with it. But your pets are sometimes confused as hell when you’re wearing a wig and a baseball cap and dressed in a t-shirt and shorts with slippers in the shape of Scooby Doo. However some are weird WEIRD. I have tried to make a full and frank account of some of them here. Feel free to add your own habits and weird little things so we can compare and contrast and then nervously change the subject and then pretend we never said anything.

W. H. Auden was perhaps one of the first writers to uses stimulants as a  “labor-saving device”. He habitually used speed and swallowed Benzedrine every morning for twenty years. He balanced the somewhat uplifting effects of these amphetamines with the barbiturate Seconal when he wanted to sleep (as well as keeping a glass of vodka at the end of the bed if he woke up). Having such a haphazard approach to narcotics, he saw it as as a pragmatic approach to his workload that sometimes led to physical breakdown and mental collapses. Not to be recommended unless you have a very sturdy constitution.

Stephen King is probably the most prolific Horror writer of our generation so surely there is something to learn from his habits. He seems to put a lot down to routine. “There are certain things I do if I sit down to write,” he said. “I have a glass of water or a cup of tea. There’s a certain time I sit down, from 8:00 to 8:30, somewhere within that half hour every morning,” he explained. “I have my vitamin pill and my music, sit in the same seat, and the papers are all arranged in the same places. The cumulative purpose of doing these things the same way every day seems to be a way of saying to the mind, you’re going to be dreaming soon.” So it seems a certain amount of compulsive tendencies may help upkeep the writing habit.
“It’s not any different than a bedtime routine,” he continued. “Do you go to bed a different way every night? Is there a certain side you sleep on? I mean I brush my teeth, I wash my hands. Why would anybody wash their hands before they go to bed? I don’t know. And the pillows are supposed to be pointed a certain way. The open side of the pillowcase is supposed to be pointed in toward the other side of the bed. I don’t know why.” Yep, definitely a freaky need for routine and order but then ho can argue with his portfolio. Also, I guess you have to admit that the process of writing needs selfish isolation sometimes, who can completely switch off the world around them to concentrate?

Finally for this part of an ongoing series a well known figure more for his leadership rather than his  writing prowess, Winston Churchill. HIs daily routine changed little during even the war years. He always awoke about 7:30 a.m. and stayed in bed waiting for his gargantuan  breakfast whilst he read his mail and papers. And then, get this for a great gig, he stayed in bed for a couple of hours working whilst he dictated to his secretaries. Then, it gets better, at 1100, he arose, had bath and perhaps took a walk around the garden in anticipation of his whisky and soda to his study.
At 1300 he usually joined guests and family for a three-course lunch. It seems like it was a boozy lunch too, his wife Clementine drank claret and Winston Pol Roger champagne served at a specific temperature (with the obligatory port brandy and cigars). Lunch ended about 1530 and he went back to his study to work or, if the mood took him, played cards or backgammon with Clementine. At 1700, after another whisky and soda, he had a nap for ninety minutes. Amazingly this little siesta, a habit he had learned from his time in Cuba, allowed him to work 1 1/2 days in every 24 hours. At 1830, he woke up, had another bath and dressed for a 2000 dinner, which was the focal point and highlight of Churchill’s day. The talk of the day, usually dominated by Winston, was probably more important that was on their plates. Depending on the guests drinks and cigars went into the the wee hours. The guests retired and Churchill returned to his study for another hour or so of work.
So there you have it, part one of this ongoing series shows that writer’s routines are weird, even weirder than you. (So far).

We’ve all heard the advice that if you want to be a good writer, you should also be an avid reader.  I have to admit that I’ve been resting on my laurels for quite some time now.  Since I received my Kindle, however, I’ve poked my head out of my shell and dived into the world of literature once again.  I recently asked you all to offer suggestions for what I should read.

It went something like this: “What should I read, and why? Tell me about your favorite fiction. What classics make the world a better place by their mere existence? Fill me in on industry books I should be reading. What authors will blow my mind? What’s the best nonfiction book I’ve been missing out on for these last several years?”

Many of you jumped on board and offered some great suggestions.  I thought it would make sense to list them all in one place so each of us could take advantage of the advice of our colleagues.  I’ll continue to add to the list if and when more suggestions are made.  I was trying to gather 100, and we have 35, not counting specific authors that were recommended.

So far, I’ve used my electronic book to read Alice Sebold’s The Almost Moon, Gregory McGuire’s Wicked, and Cami Walker’s 29 Gifts.  What should I choose next?  Maybe one of the following from Freelance Writing Job readers.

Laney Landry

Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins (3)

Simon J. James

Catch 22 by Joseph Heller

Closing Time by Joseph Heller

The Liar by Stephen Fry

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving

Tomas by James Palumbo

Choke by Chuck Palahnuik

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson

Heidi Heidel

The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe by J. Randy Taraborelli

Alice

The Shadow of the Wind by Carolos Ruiz Zafon

The Angel’s Game by Carolos Ruiz Zafon

Better by Atul Gawande

Complications by Atul Gawande

Unconditional Parenting aby Alfie Kohn

Human Croquet by Kate Atkinson

The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood

Wicked by Gregory Maguire

Theresa

The Witching Hour by Anne Rice

The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

This House of Sky by Ivan Doig

English Creek by Ivan Doig

Jodee

Rebecca by Daphne Dumaurier

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory

The Chamber by John Grisham

Kirsten

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Meghna

The Japanese Wife by Kunal Basu

Mike

Treasure Island by Robert Stevenson

Journey to the center of the Earth by Jules Verne

The Bourne Trilogy by Robert Ludlum (3)

The Witching Hour by Anne Rice (second time this one was mentioned)

Authors that were also suggested:

David Sedaris

Matt Taibbi

Tony Hillerman

Jody Picoult

Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse

Nora Robers (as J.D. Robb)

Mary Higgins Clark

James Patterson

Janet Evonovich

Before I start to tell you more about my experience with the Kindle, I wanted to hit you all up for naming suggestions. It turns out that you can give your device its own name, and I haven’t come up with the perfect one yet. If you’ve got a suggestion, please leave it in the comments.

As I mentioned previously, my darling husband bought me a Kindle for my birthday. I do love my little toy, let me tell you. We’ve had some issues, and I had to get a replacement because once my battery ran all the way down, it wouldn’t start back up. I sounded so forlorn telling my hubby, “My Kindle won’t wake up.” It reminded me of some little kid who has just found his goldfish floating belly-up in the bowl.

It didn’t help matters that I was 1/3 of the way through Wicked at the time and was going to have to wait for the new one to arrive via FedEx. I know the delivery guys get all kinds of comments when they show up with packages, but this one nearly got French kissed on my front porch.

There are some things I really like about my new Kindle:
1. I can use it one-handed, which means that as long as she doesn’t realize Mama is trying to multi-task, I can read while nursing the baby.
2. I love the instant gratification that comes with being able to download a book immediately.
3. I don’t have to flip through the book to find out where I left off. (Because I’m just no good at using bookmarks.)

There are also some things I don’t like so well:
1. If you accidentally hit the “back” button, you may spend the next ten minutes trying to find your place.
2. It’s pretty easy to accidentally advance multiple pages. (I believe this was addressed with the Kindle II.)
3. Apparently, you should never let the battery run all the way down.
4. Because it is a “no-no” and has buttons, my daughter covets it to a ridiculous degree.

Really, though, I’m quite pleased with my gift. It was a refurbished unit, which means hubby didn’t pay full price, and I like that, too. Since the birth of my first child, I managed to read ZERO books. I am now on my fourth since the end of September. As odd as it sounds, I kind of feel like myself again. There was a time when you just wouldn’t find me without a book in my hand, and even though this one is electronic, that’s starting to be the case again.

So, it turns out that I’m a jackass. Not just a cute little petting-zoo burro, either; but a braying, bucking donkey of a blogger.

After four months of inventing word games, of finding hilarious videos, and of attempting to share my self-deprecating humor, I was so sad that no one seemed to be reading. My self-esteem took a nosedive, but I kept trying to put cool stuff up here because a) that’s what I was hired to do, and b) it’s fun. A lot of times, it seemed like Julia was the only one who was interested.

This little donkey threw a bit of a pity party, hee-hawing and boo-hooing to herself. After all, when I asked a community of writers for their reading suggestions (Oh, Literature. How I’ve Missed You) and only got one, I was seriously bummed. To be honest, my self-confidence took a hit right around that time. Again with the boo-hooing.

Then I got an email from Deb today. She asks if I realize that I’m supposed to be moderating the comments. Wha…? Comments? People have been commenting and I didn’t know? Sure enough, following Deb’s email was a slew of comments that she had apparently approved for me.

So, I’d like to apologize to all of you who have had something to say and feel like I’ve completely ignored you. I have, but not purposely. I appreciate that you’ve been adding your two cents’ worth, even if you weren’t getting an acknowledgement for it. I promise to make a point to check the comments and approve you as quickly as possible from here on out!

Heeeee-haaaaaaw.

Below you will find several sets of letters. If you add the same letter to both the beginning and the end of the group, you will have formed a real word. For example, _REA_ would become “DREAD” when a D is placed at the beginning and the end. Put your answer in the comments without looking at what other people have said.

1. _tlant_
2. _ada_
3. _eldin_
4. _illo_