I often compare querying a publication to dating or being in a relationship: “Date Your Publication” and what would dating be without cheesy, low class, creepy pick-up lines?

“I think we’ve met/Tweeted/are Facebook friends.”

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Writers really don’t have to press to find a connection with an editor in their query. Unless you’ve had an encounter the editor is going to remember, forget the wind up, just pitch. Some exceptions include: actually meeting them, talking with them and having the door left open for a pitch, regularly interacting via social networking, etc.

“Are you looking for writers?”

“Hey baby, want someone to go home with you tonight?” Of course they are looking for writers, ideas and in this market, they probably are working with freelancers more than ever. Don’t ask, just pitch and on the off chance they aren’t looking for anyone they’ll let you know. I once was turned down by a publication because they were going on hiatus for a while and weren’t sure when they would be back up and running.

“I just LOVE your magazine and would LOVE to write for you.”

“You are the hottest guy in the place tonight.” Flattery works well, but most of the time it is a pretty transparent attempt to butter the editor up while asking for work. Compliment a recent article if it ties to your pitch. “I enjoyed March’s article on Roller Derby Racing and thought you may be interested in an article profiling the last living member of the legendary “Jug Jug Team.” Steve “Roll Man” Johnson was the …”

“My friend Barbara is a great writer and…”

“My friend’s shy and wanted me to come over and…” I’m a big fan of working your connections and having a friend introduce you to an editor is good stuff, but it has to be orchestrated in the right way. The wing man has to have it going on. If they constantly miss deadlines you’re not going to win any points with the editor. Editors, like most people, judge you by your friends and associates.

“This is perfect for your magazine!”

“I’m quite a catch.” Um, let the editor be the judge of that one. Newbie writers tend to make this mistake. They are so excited about the idea, the feel and tone of the piece, they can practically smell the article on the pages.

“I’ve been following you on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. How was that sandwich you had last Thursday before you went to your staff meeting?”

“I’ve been watching you all night [insert creepy leer].” It’s one thing to follow someone in your profession, it’s another thing to cyberstalk them. Don’t be creepy and even if you do know they had a sandwich last Thursday, keep that information to yourself. Oh, and you might want to spend a little more time on your query and less on their FB.

A query is a pitch. It says “Hey, I like you and here’s what I have to offer. Interested?” But sometimes writers can go a little cliche’ or creepy when pitching to editors. The key is to remember you don’t have to hard sell a pitch. We’ve all seen the magazine writer or newspaper reporter following the editor in chief around the office begging to cover a story. It makes good TV, but in reality, good query ideas – with proper supporting sources – speak for themselves. Editors know what works for their publications no need to go after them like a hound after pork chop underpants.

Got a cheesy query pick up line? Write it below!

Tomorrow (Sunday) is National Clean Out Your Fridge Day according to Huffington Post.Com. They are encouraging everyone to get rid of those green, fuzzy mystery fruits in the crisper bin and send them photos of the gross things you find. It’s a great idea, there are a few things in my fridge that would be considered hazardous waste, but I think writers could benefit from a Clean Up Your Article File Day.

Cleaning out your article file day includes:

Organize Clips

• Make multiple copies (black and white and full color)
• Convert web site clips to PDF files
• Create a backup electronic copy of your work
• Establish an easy, makes-sense-to-you filing system

Organize Article Ideas

• Read through old article ideas
• Throw out the truly horrible and those that don’t fit your niche
• Pass on ideas that suit your writing friends better than you (reality check time!)
• Establish or refresh an easy, makes-sense-to-you filing system
• Locate 5 right now query ideas and research sources and establish angles

It’s the end of the year and it’s time to get things ready for next year. In addition to the “10 Things All Freelance Writers Should Do Before the End of 2009” cleaning up your files is one of the best ways to close out the year and set yourself up for organization and success in the new year.

More Help with Article Files

• Taking Care of Your Writing Clips
  

Ok, the first Lede (Lead) This!” didn’t go so well as we had no participation. Maybe it was the stunning cuteness of my little lion or the (hopefully) super busy week all our FWJ writers had, whatever the case we are going to try again. I’m a little late getting this up, it’s been a crazy week over here as well.

Remember a good Lede (Lead) is what captures your audience’s attention and gets them to read the article. Brush up on your skills and get featured here at FWJ – the number one site for freelance writers!

The Rules:

I post a picture, you write your lede in the comment section below, give the type of publication you wrote it for and the subject of the article. No need to write a full article, actually, please don’t write an actual article I don’t want to read it all :0) On Sunday I’ll pick the best one, contact the poster & your lede and website will be featured on Monday. Sounds good? Okay go!

The Photo:

I like having fun on Fridays, I always make it an easy day or a day off of work and I thought I’d bring some fun stuff to the FWJ community. Each Friday we are going to do Lede This and on Monday I’ll pick the best lede and talk about why it works.

So here’s how it’s going to work: I post a picture, you write your lede in the comment section below, give the type of publication you wrote it for and the subject of the article. No need to write a full article, actually, please don’t write an actual article I don’t want to read it all :0) On Sunday I’ll pick the best one, contact the poster & your lede and website will be featured on Monday. Sounds good? Okay go!

"Hey baby, does heaven know it's missing an angel?"

I hate it. I HATE IT when a writer says “Google me” when submitting for an assignment or worse, when asking for advice on their writing career. I’m serious, I have had a writer or two ask me about furthering their career and to then added “Google me to see my work.”

Wow. You couldn’t bother to include a link in your email? Are you that busy? Do you think I’m not busy so I have the time and motivation to go looking for “Jane Smith” throughout the Google-verse? Or do you think it makes you look good that your name has the G juice?

It’s a cheesy pick-up line.

Saying “Google me” is like saying  “If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.” Eww. All it really reveals is you’re too lazy or amateur to include links to your work, or too lazy to have business cards or build an online portfolio.

It can lead to unpleasant discoveries.

Trust me, I’m going to look you up, especially if you’re lame. I’m going to go deeper and likely discover a gang of throwaway articles you’d rather I didn’t see.

You’re not the only star in the universe.

What happens when I look you up and find several writers with your name or close to your name. Which one are you? I’ll have to spend time looking around and once I’ve even found a writer’s site that I liked better and contacted them instead of the writer that sent me on the random search.

If you don’t respect my time now…

…you probably won’t respect it later when it is time to turn in a piece by deadline and that’s not a chance many editors and clients are willing to take.

Why?

Why would I Google you to help you get the job or assignment, etc. when writers 1-20 included links to their work in their queries. I may come back later and look…but probably not.

I sound a bit hostile huh? This is a behavior that is getting a bit out of hand lately and I thought it was important to teach why it is wrong, rather than merely fume about it. It is professional, standard procedure to submit links to your work and/or online portfolio when submitting a query, job app or seeking advice. Not doing so won’t earn you renegade status, just broke status as editors hit delete.

Our FWJ Contest: “Bring Community Back” ends on Halloween. In case you don’t know what’s at stake – can you say $150? Here are the rules:

We’re giving away three $50 prizes.

• The person with the most comments between now and October 31st, on the homepage Freelance Writing Jobs blog, will receive $50.
• The person with the most comments across the whole FWJ network by the end of the month, that’s all of the blogs, will receive $50.
• The FWJ blogger who does the most to build community and join the conversation will win $50 at the end of the month.

Just a few notes:

• Comments that only say ” I agree” or add nothing to the conversation won’t count.
• Comments not adhering to our comment policy will be deleted and won’t count.
• Spammy comments or comment dropping links – unless they’re truly offering something to the conversation – won’t count.

Here are some great posts from the past month that generated buzz:

5 Things You Never Say to an Editor

Responsible Citizen Journalism – Article Writing

Writing Tip of the Day: Threesomes are Tricky…

How to Have a Rockstar Freelance Writing Business

How Long Does it REALLY Take You to Write an Article?

Guest Blog Posts: Good P.R or Free Content?

Last week I named a few things you shouldn’t say to an editor “5 Things You NEVER Say to an Editor” and the post was pretty darn popular so I figured it was only practical to give a couple of tips on things editor’s love to hear from writers.

5. “I need help.”

Writers like to present a tough facade. They want to show they have everything under control and worry that asking their editors for help on a piece will cost them future work. On the contrary, editors love to know a writer will come to them for help because it ensures they will get the article they asked for, not the one a writer thought they wanted. If you are unsure of what the editor wants, encounter a major issue, i.e. with sources, or are having trouble working a particular angle, let your editor know. They’ll help come up with sources or approve a new angle, it’s their job. Just don’t wait until the last minute.

4. “You can reach me at: (614) 555.1234.”

There is nothing worse than having an issue with an article right before you go to print and you can’t get in touch with the author. Sure there is email, but as you anxiously refresh your Twitter page and email hoping for a response, you find yourself wishing, woefully, they had included a phone number in their correspondence.

Many editors are assigning work to writers without ever speaking to them over the phone – the power of technology! Unfortunately, where there is power, there is pain. Contrary to popular belief, writers aren’t in front of their computers every hour of the day and in every time zone. We leave the house, have internet troubles, and *gasp* take a break from social media and microblogging! Having an alternate means of contact an incredibly important, often overlooked courtesy.

3. “I’m available for edits.”

A Twitter friend reminded me after the 5 Thing You Never Say article that writers should keep themselves available for revisions. (Thanks NancyDWrites!) Some writers will say they are too busy to do revisions or become offended at the request. Both responses are a sure way to make the Do Not Call list. You want to do your own rewrites and edits. You are familiar with the information, sources, etc. it really is your responsibility. Do you really want someone else calling all the editing shots on your piece when you can do it yourself?

2. “I saw the great piece you published on (subject here).”

This helps establish a relationship with the editor. You don’t have to be best pals, but it helps keep your name in the front of the editor’s brain and shows you are keeping up with the publication. It’s a good idea to touch base with an editor every so often without asking for work. That’s building a relationship. Remember to keep the emails short and friendly professional.

1. “Here’s my article (turned in early!).”

OK, you don’t have to say the “turned in early part,” they’ll know. Getting a quality, ready to publish article in early is like sending a gift wrapped hug to an editor – it gives them warm, fuzzies, makes their lives easier and instantly puts you into the ‘favorable writer’ category.

We all joke about crazy editors and their goofball demands. Editors, for the most part, have a good chuckle too because they know some of their peers are pretty nutty. Here at FWJ we often reinforce a writer’s right to push back – professionally – against edits, cheer on as they ask for more work, better pay, etc., however sometimes a writer can take things too far. There are a few things you should never say to an editor, especially if you ever want to work with them again.

5. “You’re just a frustrated writer.”

It could be true, it really could be your editor doesn’t have it in them to formulate an article from scratch, but they have no qualms about taking your article and reworking most of it to fit their own voice. Saying so, however, is not only rude, it is also a baseless accusation. Not cool.

4. “So-in-so at (competition publication) would love this piece.”

“Perhaps they would, good luck with that *click*,” would be my response to a writer pulling that low brow threat out of their butt. There are ways to negotiate and there are ways to make an offer more appealing, a threat like this will land you and your piece in the permanent slush pile.

3. “I know what the readers want.”

No, the editors know what the readers want, you may have a pretty good idea which is why your pitching your query, but ultimately the editor has a better understanding than you. No one wants to hear you are better at their job than they are it is never a good way to make waves.

2. “I was so sick it was coming out of both ends, it looked like…”

TMI or too much information is an epidemic in this share all, instant message, Facebook society and too many writers damage their professional relationships by rushing into a awkward, often one-sided relationship with editors. If we only talk via email about queries and payments, I don’t want to suddenly become your best friend and become privy to your non-work related exploits. Yelk!

1. “I’m going to miss my deadline.”

This deadend line will quickly turn you into the ‘not go-to-writer.’ Missing a deadline is serious business. Do writers miss deadlines? Yep. Do they have to tell their editor? Yep. Should you do everything absolutely possible to make sure it never happens to you? Absolutely.

There’s this thing called ‘burning bridges’ and people are always advised against doing so. I tend to agree, the writing community is small and rude or outrageous writers are likely to earn a reputation that matches their unprofessional behavior.

Want to add to the list? Give your tips below!

A recent commenter here at FWJ wrote she was having trouble making the transition to web articles from traditional print. Writing for the web is significantly different as I pointed out in “P.U.! Why that Web Article Stinks.”

When people go to the web, they are often in short attention span mode.  Most readers hit the headline, skim for the important points and are onto the next piece before you can say, “Whoa!” If you bring your print mentality to the web you’ll find yourself dropped faster than a 486 PC. So how to make the cut?

• Bullet points and headlines.
  • Both work wonders in directing your reader’s attention to the main point.
  • Bullet point ideas are short and to the point.
  • Any information needed beyond the main idea can be added below keeping info clear and concise.
• Figure out what the audience needs.
  • If you are writing an article on fixing a dripping faucet, your readers do not want to hear about the history of modern plumping. Get to the point.
• Cut out ‘that’ and all of those other extra words.
  • ‘That‘ is a word (that is) often used to transition throughout a sentence, but if you eliminate it during editing, you’ll find (that) you don’t need it.
  • When you’re first transitioning from print to web, go through and read each paragraph and ask yourself if you can say it in less words while keeping the ‘voice’ of the piece.
• Turn it into a series.
  • If you have the opportunity, turn your long article into a series, breaking it up into shorter, manageable bites.
  • This is easier to do with blog posts, though an editor may be open to it as it is likely to drive more readers back to the site to read the next piece in the series.

Writing for the web requires tight writing. Be sure to suck up any extra words without sucking out the personality. It’s like putting on a girdle without cinching yourself to the point of becoming immobile. My male readers will just have to trust me on this one!

Got a question or lament? Tell me below and you may just become the inspiration for my next post. *Thank Jen for this one!

Writing an article is like delving into a relationship. There is commitment instilled into each piece. Ideally, a writer works hard to learn about the piece,  researching and interviewing sources, collecting information and getting to the truth of the subject. They are eager to work with the article, finding out what works and what doesn’t. They expertly manipulate transitions until the article reaches new heights of writing ecstasy and when it’s really good they introduce the article to family and friends.

There are times when there is trouble in paradise: You’ve got an article to write and you make a date, taking time out of your very busy editorial calendar. Unfortunately, what should have been time spent alone, wrapped up in each other turns into frustrating series of starts, stops and half-hearted efforts. Your attention is elsewhere – you’re jumping up to look for the mailman or stopping to check your email, Twitter or Facebook when you should be with your article. The relationship suffers and instead of slowly taking the article to new heights, you “wham bam” it and while the goal (finishing the article) is accomplished, the experience is cold and unfulfilling.

Sound familiar?

Multitasking is an overused and over-celebrated phenomenon, especially when it comes to writing. Words and a writer are meant to go at it one-on-one and yet, many routinely praise and advocate incorporating a third party in the mix. Whether it’s social media, chores or other people, taking a couple to a threesome rarely works out for all parties. The article suffers, the writer suffers and it is easy to lose sight of what’s important – the process and experience of writing. Starting and stopping in the middle of a project makes for frustrating, slow going work. Give your piece the attention it deserves – take it out, turn off the email and Twitter alerts, let the phone go to voice mail and special thing you do with your fingers – type!