Forty Deuce

No One, and I Mean NO ONE Beats Flavs Wearing a Sweatshirt. Fact.

2009-07-09T15:57:46-07:00

Who do you think you are? Bepa? Step up your game, Alla. So Bastad is working out to be a pretty fun tournament. Flavia, Patty, Caro, and Dulko are through, which, given the WTA's "pleasant unpredictability", must give the Bastad tourney organizers some relief. In the Battle For Middle Earth, wherein Middle Earth is the super cute flowy fashion designs of one Ms. Stella McCartney (who, incidentally, is going to design a line for GapKids),...

Davis Cup Just Got 200% Less Sexy, Ladies.

2009-07-09T12:18:27-07:00

Both Marat and Steps have been pulled from their singles ties. Marat because he sucks, and Sex because of a knee problem. But don't fret. If needed, The Sex will step in on Sunday if they need him.

Thanks For The Horror Show, BBC

2009-07-09T12:10:13-07:00

The BBC has tennis masks. They are horrible. They are the things nightmares are made of. I didn't know Carrot Top played tennis. Thanks, BBC! Thanks to Mrs. Saifn for tweeting.

Pic This: Aww...How Cute...

2009-07-09T12:01:47-07:00

But I hope he knows he's about to get jumped by those two escaped convicts.

Vamos!

2009-07-09T11:56:46-07:00

Man, you become a Davis Cup hero and all of a sudden it's shits and giggles all the time. At least he got Tommy to smile. That's nice. Fernando's the man this week, as he's scheduled to play singles and doubles. And with the way his teammates have been playing lately, don't be surprised if he does have to suit up on Sunday. He'll kick things off against Beck tomorrow and possibly play Techno on...

Tall vs. Douche: Which Do You Choose?

2009-07-09T11:41:16-07:00

It's just not the same without Mario. Not the same at all. Ivo and Blah will kick things off tomorrow. If you want to see a lot of rallies and baseline intelligence, tune into this one, folks. Then Sockless and Marin will go at it in the second rubber. At least this one could be mildly interesting.

Flavor Of The Week

2009-07-09T11:30:27-07:00

In what is I think the most interesting tie of the weekend, Team Elf will take on Team Sex in Czechoslovakia. Apparently Team Sex is going to concede the first rubber with Elf and focus on beating Pico. Should be an interesting one. As most DC ties do, this one will turn on the doubles match on Saturday. But on to more important Elf updates: What.Is.THAT??? Dreaming of his one true love in England.... Ok...

Pic This: Do You Think The Baby Oil Makes His Hands Slippery?

2009-07-09T11:15:30-07:00

God. That skin. Amaze.

You Know It's Serious When It Involves Burberry

2009-07-09T10:59:38-07:00

So...I've basically been sitting here for a good 10 minutes marveling at how much I want/need/havetoownimmediately that jacket. I don't know if she already had it in her closet, whether she ran out and bought it, or if AS's Burberry people hooked her up, but I love it. Unfortunately, something tells me I wouldn't look the same wearing a trench and trouser jeans. Sad face. Anyway, kid is in Scotland supporting her dude by looking...

Move Over Tiger, Here Comes Nadia

2009-07-08T19:17:50-07:00

I always try that "catching the ball on your racquet" trick and I fail miserably. And if you don't get the title reference: But here's my fave Tiger video: Love you so much, Le Tigre.

ABERCROMBIE???

2009-07-08T16:06:46-07:00

Rick Reilly. How do you live with yourself?

Good News For Fed Fans. Bad News For The Rest Of Us.

2009-07-08T12:16:59-07:00

In case the last month and a half hasn't already proven it, Fed's healthy again: "I have no more back pain," said Federer, who began to struggle with the problem last fall. "I'm not scared any more of going into the very corner of the court and digging out a ball, which I was scared of doing at times. And that's why my serve sometimes faltered in important moments, because I didn't have belief that...

Rolex: Better Than A Fortune Cookie

2009-07-08T11:24:36-07:00

They sign Ana a mere days before she goes on to win her first Slam. And now they placed ads all over the place pretty much tapping Fed and Serena to win Wimbly. Impressive stuff, Rolie. Impressive.

MaKiri Likes Them Hairy

2009-07-08T10:42:19-07:00

MaKiri is blogging from Bastad this week. Here's a couple of cute bits from her blog: The best thing [about the player's party] came at the end. There was a magician who was doing some really funny tricks with some of the players, and Caroline Wozniacki had to kiss him for him to do the final trick, and when she did, he pulled a card out of his mouth! It was really funny. There was...

I've Run Out Of Cone Puns. Basically, She Sucks.

2009-07-08T10:28:26-07:00

She lost to Shahar, 60 62, in Budapest. Please to let me repeat. She lost to Shahar Peer on clay, getting bageled along the way. Talk about somebody who's gone completely off the rails.

Why Must You Torture Me, Tennis Gods?

2009-07-08T10:18:05-07:00

Bye bye, Pavsy. You lost to MaKiri in straight sets. I don't know what to say to that other than it was her best surface and maybe you were distracted by the awesomeness that is her Stella McCartney kit. Oh well. Go MaKiri! And in the other upset of the day (and I mean "upset" because I am upset), Olivia Newton John beat Sorana in three sets. This, I am not ok with. And no,...

"I'm like telepathic. I can get into your mind."

2009-07-08T03:13:50-07:00

Pretty much worth it for the baby Williamses and Bartoli footage. And for ReRe's crazy eyes.

Bastad: Scores and OOP

2009-07-08T01:38:13-07:00

Break out the champagne, folks. MaKiri won a match! With a bagel? What the fuck? Too bad it'll end tomorrow at the hands of Pavs. I hope. For Pavs' sake. Singles - First Round (1) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Sofia Arvidsson (SWE) 61 63 (2) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. (WC) Sandra Roma (SWE) 63 26 61 (3) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Francesca Schiavone (ITA) 62 75 María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. (4) Kaia Kanepi...

"If she is half-assing her way to the top, she just became my new hero."

2009-07-07T15:48:25-07:00

FatNotPretty-Gate has hit Jezebel. The comments are pretty great. And there's this post on Wimby's admission re looks vs. skill.

Maybe Georgie Stoop Is Onto Something...

2009-07-07T13:18:57-07:00

Boyfriend demanded I read it. I read it. I cried a bit: Andy Roddick is not George Bailey. He's not ordinary. He's the No. 6 tennis player in the world. He's a multi-multi-millionaire tennis player married to a swimsuit model. He hops around the world and hosts Saturday Night Live and probably wouldn't even want to win the lottery because of the tax complications. But here's the thing: He wanted to win Wimbledon. I mean,...

Gone But Not Forgotten

2009-07-07T11:47:09-07:00

Frenchie Mathieu Montcourt passed away this morning. He was found by his girlfriend in the stairwell of their apartment. No cause of death identified yet, though I've seen some reports of a pulmonary embolism. Dude was 24. Mathieu as remembered by Rafa: This morning I woke up with one of the worst news anyone can receive. I heard about the death of our friend Mathieu Montcourt. I am still under shock for this. I can't...

U.S. vs. Croatia: Coin-Flip?

2009-07-07T11:20:10-07:00

So what do you think? A Dickless U.S. squad vs. a two-man Croatian squad of Marin and Ivo. I give the tip of the cap to Croatia.

Team Hotness...and Some Germans.

2009-07-07T11:12:52-07:00

Spain, sans Rafa, is at home to take on Team BMW. Why does Tommy look so weird? And what, no love for the team, JCF? Fer's wearing caps now? DUDE! Don't fuck with the hair! Oh, Techno. Your smuggy looks will always make me giggle. My heart is yours forever.

Davis Cup: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

2009-07-07T11:00:14-07:00

Team Russia is in Tel Aviv to take on Israel. They'll do so without Kolya or Dima, who just withdrew. He'll be replaced by Consumption. And now, with that piece of business out of the way, I give you obligatory and very necessary pictures of Maratski:

Pictoral Hilarity From Bastad

2009-07-07T10:49:05-07:00

That looks comfy. Caro at a "press conference". Caro and Sorana rocking some ABBA, apparently. And now for the drumroll... Lars, Mo, and an empty bottle of champy? Yes, please. (Pics from here.)