First of all, when you join a new or different dating site you should acquaint yourself with all the features that are on the site and spend a few hours or maybe even a few days looking through the site to see what is available. Yeah I know this can be a little hard to do because you’re excited and want to dive right in but trust me on this one…take your time and you can avoid the headache (maybe even the heartache) of not going about things properly.

READ ALL OF THE ARTICLES (I capitalized that because it’s REALLY IMPORTANT)! Just because there is a lot of dating information available on the big bad internet, it’s not always the best advice given by someone with the best intentions, and the sites themselves do offer good information because they want their members to be successful and recommend them to their friends.

Have some definite goals in mind before starting your online dating endeavor as you will be a lot more successful, and happier in the long run if you do. If you are looking for marriage then look for other people who want the same thing rather than expecting people to change to accommodate your wants and needs.

If you are only looking for friendship with no intention of a long term relationship then don’t waste the time of people who are after commitment and you won’t be wasting your own time either. You will get more satisfaction in finding the right type of person if you actually look for the right one to begin with.

Be patient if you don’t find what you are after right away. Good things take time and the more specific your expectations are the longer it will probably take to for you to find what you’re looking for. Desperate times call for desperate measures but you are not desperate so don’t go looking for a “desperado” ‘cause that’s what you’re likely to find.

If you are persistent and stick to your guns then you can and will eventually find someone who has done the same, and that my friend is a match made in (internet) heaven. The people who don’t get what they expect from online dating sites are usually those who either stop looking too soon, or start looking too soon. Preparation and persistence pays off for most people.

And finally, don’t let these dating sites become an addiction like Facebook where you are on them all hours of the day and night. You should be using them for the purpose of improving your life not downgrading it, and anything that becomes an addiction will do just that.

There are so many people who get into relationships where one person has different expectations than the other and they only find out about it 6 months or a year or two down the line.

And imagine what might have happened during that time.

The person you were meant to be with might have found someone else while you were floundering around with the wrong person.

And they probably found them on an online dating site too because that’s where a lot of the connections are made these days.

Can you afford to waste months or years of your life with the wrong person? I would like to think that you treasure your time enough to not let that happen.

Online dating sites are a lot like the pre-selling that goes on in any form of marketing.

You get to talk to one another in a relaxed manner online before you even decide whether you want to meet.

You should feel free to express exactly what you want from your life as this will help you to attract the right person you are looking for.

The simple fact that there are so many people on these sites to choose from should make it easier to not have to put on ‘airs’ and say things that aren’t true simply to please the other person.

It’s not like a pickup in a night club where you might say you like particular things just to increase your chances of getting a date.

Online most people tend to me more honest about themselves as that’s the way to attract the right type of person.

There shouldn’t be any inconsistencies if people are telling the truth so if you find that someone has told you something at some stage and that information differs from another discussion they had with you then be wary of that person.

The inconsistencies can relate to any areas of their life from their employment to their age, profession, interests or other things they talk about.

Take note if this happens to see whether it is an isolated incident and possibly a misunderstanding or whether the person is giving you false information.

If they are cagey about revealing information on topics that you wouldn’t expect to cause concern then that is another thing that you should deal with before accepting an invitation to meet up.

Don’t be afraid to expect direct answers to your questions regarding any matters that seem unusual and if you are unsatisfied with the information you receive then consider ending the relationship before you have any problems as honesty is a key to any successful relationship and if you haven’t got that from the start you are unlikely to get it as time goes by.

If the person gets agitated or annoyed at any comments or questions then that is another warning sign for you to consider and moving on to a more suitable person might be the best idea at that stage to ensure your safety and happiness.

Always remember that there are many people to choose from and even if this one took a long time to find the next person, who might be a lot more suitable, could be just around the corner.

You don’t need to compromise and particularly when it comes to matters as important as trust and safety.

By adding some of your details in your header it will help filter out those people who aren’t looking for someone like you and at the same time attract those who are.

Your header could state that you are ‘An LA windsurfer looking for a Blonde Beach Girl’

Now that makes it easy for people to quickly see whether they might be a candidate for a friendship doesn’t it?

Or maybe you are ‘Looking for a female travel companion in her 30’s’

If you were in your thirties and loved travel you would probably be interested in clicking on that person’s profile to find out more information wouldn’t you?

Make it easy for the right people to find you and you will get better results sooner.

Think of what your most important requirements are and see if you can include that in your header as a filter to get more targeted people contacting you.

Now if you can also add some humor to that heading or something clever that would also attract attention you will be boosting your chances of getting the right people wanting to know more about you in droves.

You will also save yourself a lot of time by not having to deal with people who contact you that aren’t suitable.

When they get to your profile you can expand on this information to filter the prospects even further.

The people who have the most success with the online dating sites are those who take the time to decide what they are really after and then focus all of their efforts on getting precisely that.

If you haven’t any idea of what you really want then you are only going to attract people who don’t really care what they get.

People with ‘dated’ attitudes were often heard to make negative comments about those people who they would say had to advertise for friendship.

This changed very fast as more and more people could see all the benefits that online dating offered.

What other method was available that would allow a person to search a database of thousands of people in minutes and narrow down their search for the type of person they were looking for?

There wasn’t any and with the fast paced lifestyle that most people live these days this was precisely what everyone was looking for.

You could get online at one of the more popular dating sites and find several suitable dates in less time that it would take to get dressed up for a night out at the local club or bar.

This was a godsend for many people who just didn’t even like to frequent these places in the hope that they would meet someone.

One of the biggest stumbling blocks that people have with finding their ideal partner is the fear of rejection and that fear is never more prevalent than at meeting places where a guy or a girl can’t pluck up the courage to approach the other for a chat.

This is something that is of no concern on the Internet. People get to meet one another online after finding common interests and then it is easy to start making contact and to see whether the other person wants to reciprocate.

If they aren’t interested then it isn’t a problem because there are thousands more people who are only a mouse click away.

The fear factor is all but eliminated.

When you start a relationship with someone, you want it to last as long as possible. Building a healthy relationship can help you do that. In order to have a strong relationship with someone, you need to have a healthy mind and body.

How do they make a relationship healthy? A healthy mind is when you have good self-esteem and confidence about who you are and what you want out of life. A healthy mind gives you independence so that you rely on yourself to get things done and don’t become co-dependent on your partner.

An unhealthy mind is when you have little or no self-esteem and no confidence in yourself. The lines of communication become non-existent because you withdraw into your own world and just look to partner for guidance on your life, which puts a burden on your lover.

A healthy body is when you take care of yourself.  You try to maintain a healthy weight and you care how you look and feel on a daily basis. You don’t smoke (at all) or drink too much, or do anything that would cause harm to your body in the long run.

You exercise regularly to keep your heart running smoothly and eat a sensible diet, splurging once in awhile as a reward. Your attitude becomes a positive one that makes your partner want to spend time with you.

An unhealthy body is when you don’t care enough about yourself to take care of your body. You smoke or drink too much and let yourself go. You eat junk food most of the time and your waistline is expanding.
 
Since you don’t care about yourself, you don’t try to exercise or do things that would keep your heart beating soundly. Your attitude is poor, making your relationship crumble because your partner no longer wants to spend any time with you.  You can’t blame him because if you can’t even love you, why should he?

When your mind and body are in sync with one another, you can gain a positive attitude, which keeps the line of communication going with your partner. It allows you to listen to them and helps you support them whenever they need it (and vice versa). You’re more likely to do what it takes to keep that relationship in tip-top shape so that it continues to grow.

Avoid those pitfalls and take a stand on your mental and physical health. Setbacks are sure to happen, but don’t let them ruin your state of mind or affect your health for the long run.  

Thanks for reading this post,

 John Martin

Yes, you CAN find love online by signing up with one of the these dating sites:

Try Match.com – 3 Days Free! | 7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com | Find Romance with Yahoo! Personals | Find a Friend at Adult Friend Finder

You feel your relationship is suffering a little and you think both of you aren’t on the same wavelength anymore. You think the relationship is worth saving, but you don’t know how to bridge the gap between you both to rebuild the intimacy you desire.

If you feel the relationship is worth saving and worth the effort to get it to grow, there are some things you can do in order to heal the wounds and move forward together as a strong couple.

1.  Talk things out with each other.  Always let the other person know what your feelings are, what you want out of life and things you would like to do. You have to remember that your partner can’t read your mind and will need you to tell them what you want. If they don’t know, how are they going to give you what you need in the relationship?

2.  Be open and honest. Don’t waste time and effort trying to play mind games with your partner. You can’t expect them to read between the lines and know that when you say, “I’m fine,” it really means you’re fuming inside.  The longer you take to get the truth to the surface, the longer it will be until you’re in a truly happy relationship.

3.  Trust one another.  Trust is what makes a relationship grow into a healthy one and allows intimacy to come into play. Without trust, a relationship will only continue on a destructive path and prevent true intimacy from becoming a part of your partnership.

4.  Spend some “we” time together as a couple without your family and friends tagging along with you. In order for a relationship to flourish, it needs you to spend a little time with each other – basically getting to know one another – and what your likes and dislikes are.

When you feel you know your partner well enough, intimacy will come much easier when others aren’t trying to get in your way. And don’t think that just because you’ve known your partner for 15 years, then you still know what it is they like and don’t like – people change over time and so do their preferences.

5.  Go on a romantic trip together. Pick a spot that you can have some fun together while getting to know your lover a little more. A trip can help eliminate stress in a relationship and allows you to be more yourself with your partner.

You can be more relaxed with him or her, which breaks down the walls and allows intimacy to come through.  Also, couples who took vacations reported a happier marriage overall than those who hadn’t been on a trip together in the last six years.

6.  Be flexible with each other. You’ll need a little give and take in your relationship. If you expect your partner to go to a play with you when they’re not interested in the activity, then you should be willing to do something with them that you’re not interested in. Give and take is an excellent way to build intimacy in your relationship.

Building intimacy doesn’t have to be that hard to do. As long as both partners work to bridge the gap, they can build a healthy relationship that could involve a healthy level of closeness and compatibility.

 Thanks for reading this post,

 John Martin

Yes, you CAN find love online by signing up with one of the these dating sites:

Try Match.com – 3 Days Free! | 7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com | Find Romance with Yahoo! Personals | Find a Friend at Adult Friend Finder

 Even in the offline world, you can’t trust some people to be who they say they are.  But is the online dating scene even worse in attracting men and women who are married but secretly seeking others for extra-marital affairs?

While men are typically typecast as being the louts in this kind of arrangement, they’re not the only perpetrators.  Some women are seeking partners at online dating sites as a security measure against being alone in between partners.

 But for the most part, online dating site participants are genuine people who are single and seeking the perfect match for their love life.  Most of the despicable people who are married and straying go to websites devoted to playing the field while taken, so there’s not as much danger encountering these individuals on a single online dating site.

Still, it could happen.  If you don’t take precautions to get to know someone before taking things too far, then there maybe those who accuse you of playing a part in the adulterous relationship.

Don’t be willing to just accept someone’s profile as gospel.  You need to get to know your online dating prospects before agreeing to meet with them or engage in any romantic relationships.

 Sometimes, love moves more quickly on the ‘net, so you have to protect yourself against the possibility that the other party isn’t being completely up front about who they are or what they’re seeking.

 You don’t want to be plagued by guilt and shame that ensues when you find out you’ve been the unwitting accomplice in a triangle of love with your online dating partner that the other person’s spouse knows nothing about.

 If you discover someone you’re interested in has been playing the virtual field while still tied down to someone in the offline world, then you need to abruptly end the discussions and move on to someone who was more forthright in their disclosure of who they are and their marital status.

Some bloggers are taking adulterers who use online dating sites to task, accusing them of violating the unsuspecting party’s Constitutional Rights and making it more than just an ethical or moral dilemma.

 Make sure you ask questions and notice anything unusual in the prospect’s demeanor.  And most importantly, recognize that even if it happens to you, these people are in the minority, and don’t represent the majority of the online dating pool.

 Thanks for reading this post,

 John Martin

Yes, you CAN find love online by signing up with one of the these dating sites:

Try Match.com – 3 Days Free! | 7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com | Find Romance with Yahoo! Personals | Find a Friend at Adult Friend Finder

You might even have the guts to post your profile and then find yourself frustrated because when you give match-making a shot, others turn you down because you don’t live up to their demands, expectations, or desires right off the bat.

You almost have to have thick skin when you start posting your profile on online dating sites because it can sometimes cause people to be less sensitive than they would be if you’d met them in person.

 Still, thousands of people are finding that one true love on the Internet, and it’s worth learning the ropes before you sign up at any dating site so that you’ll know the game before you go in and not get upset if you run into a few shallow people here and there.

 You shouldn’t lower your expectations, but anyone who has a set list of demands before dating someone will surely find themselves disappointed.  If you met Mr. or Mrs. Right on the street, you wouldn’t have a tip sheet of their profile to read before you said “hi” and discovered the spark underlying your conversations.  Yet for some reason, some people reserve the right to refuse an online prospect if their list of characteristics isn’t checked off perfectly first.

 Do you really want someone who has essential qualities in a mate, or is it preferable to find someone who is open to loving you exactly as you are?  The dismissing process can be abrupt and blunt, so don’t let it hurt your feelings if someone says, “Thanks but no thanks” without giving you a shot.  This is often only because people are joining dating sites to cater to their dilemma of limited time to spend searching for a mate.

 Sometimes people put things in their profile list of Must-Haves that they don’t really mean.  For instance, a man might add that his mates must look like a supermodel, when what he really means is he needs to have an attraction.  It’s doubtful he’s been in the company of many supermodels, and surely he’s been attracted to ordinary women in his life!

 In some ways, people believe online dating strips the first impressions away because you can’t see the subtleties that often attract us to our mates.  But online dating gives you a chance to get to know the person’s personality and feel comfortable before you take the leap into real life dating.

 Thanks for reading this post,

 John Martin

Yes, you CAN find love online by signing up with one of the these dating sites:

Try Match.com – 3 Days Free! | 7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com | Find Romance with Yahoo! Personals | Find a Friend at Adult Friend Finder

 When you’re creating your profile for an online dating site, you may be one of the many who throws in a few false facts to try to spruce up the appeal of your profile to the men or women you’re targeting.

 There are some things you should also leave out if you want to make a good first impression.  It doesn’t mean you have to lie about who you are or what you believe, but sometimes it’s best to present yourself with your best foot forward in the beginning.

 First, try not to sound like a bitter, soured person who is already burnt out on the opposite sex.  If you had a bad experience with your boyfriend, don’t sound like a man-basher in your profile.  No men will want to take on someone who has that much baggage following them around.

 Negativity in general is a turn off for many people.  If you hate the traffic, hate the weather, hate your job, and hate your life – what is there to like about you?  The people you encounter on online dating sites don’t want a fixer-upper – they want someone compatible with their own personality.

Even if you’ve been plagued by bad first dates with other dating site members, don’t focus on what went wrong, but find the silver lining and talk about the details you did appreciate – even if it was just a learning experience.

Try to stand out from the crowd.  Cookie cutter profiles are a turn off and if you don’t give the reader anything unique, how are they supposed to be impressed enough to choose you from the masses?

How many times have you read, “I love candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach?”  Don’t be boring!  Instead of candlelight dinners, be specific and say, “I love Mortini’s Italian Restaurant because the host always gives me the best seat in the house and their Alfredo Sauce is to die for!”  This gives them insight into your personality, but it also lets them envision their first date with you.

To really spruce up a profile and take out everything a prospective partner doesn’t want, try to be specific about who you’re seeking in a mate.  Make sure they know you’re flexible, if you are, but don’t just say, “I like a sense of humor” if what you really mean is, “I’m sarcastic and love someone who can give as good as they get with me.”

 This helps remove the possibility that those you won’t be compatible will contact you and wind up being a waste of your time.  Be sure to find people whose profiles you respect and emulate their success by substituting your own facts and outlook on life and soon, you’ll be seizing the opportunity to have a first encounter with someone new.

 Thanks for reading this post,

 John Martin

Yes, you CAN find love online by signing up with one of the these dating sites:

Try Match.com – 3 Days Free! | 7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com | Find Romance with Yahoo! Personals | Find a Friend at Adult Friend Finder