Flying Shortbread

On 'natural'

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 04:29:00 +0000

I don't think 'natural' is good. There are many things that we apply (some almost arbitrary) (some ignorant and backward ideas of natural and not-natural agenda-propagating) rules of morality. I think 'natural' is a political rhetoric, profoundly abused.

'Diversity' is the only defensible rhetoric for 'thinking' beings. We are not, of course, the only creatures that do thinking, but we are the only creatures with the power to oppress others and other creatures whose languages we don't understand.

Us (badly) thinking creatures, slowly, ponderously gathering the evidence of our badness (I see no reason for your (god's) patience with us), have the ability to decide to be better than (the fashionable) 'natural' of the day.

It is our responsibility to transcend our vileness. Just that. That one task. Our thinkingness I believe is for that. A world (constructed by god) to demonstrate this point. And we will find every rhetoric to avoid our task. We spend more time toying with the rhetoric than getting down to doing (as Jesus did). Less laws, more love.

Anger

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Mon, 05 Nov 2018 14:22:00 +0000

#Journal ~ I stop being angry in about 10 minutes. Although it's best to not talk to me for at least 30. But I spend YEARS after that translating what you said out of your set of justifications and emojis and manipulations. There are many versions in my head of the plainspeak thing you said. They keep Alzheimers at bay.

Religious people filling Facebook Comments with Thanks Be To Gods

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Fri, 27 Apr 2018 17:27:00 +0000

Freedom Day ~ This post is so ironic. There is a Freedom to practice your religion. No one is standing in your way. We are not trying to legislate against your church, or your mosque. Your Freedom of Speech is guaranteed on your Feed, everywhere. There is plenty of Freedom To... are you going to use your Freedom To... here... to make that point. We know it. We support it. There is also Freedom From... we, who object to the data wasting that you are engaging in by calling us back to an informative post, where we hope millimetres are being posted, over and over, so that you can emphasise your Freedom To... is more than exercising your Freedom To... We have asked that you stop. Politely. And you have turned it into Hating. That is gaslighting, not Christianity.

Facebook behaving badly

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Sat, 31 Mar 2018 05:32:00 +0000

So I signed Avaaz's petition to ask Facebook to clean up their act or else I will delete. Wryly. I do believe that instead of saying, "But you Dumb Fucks (that's what Zuckerberg calls us, you can check, those are the actual words) signed our terms and conditions" that the focus shouldn't fall on the victim. "You wanted to get raped, you came to the bar." The onus, the responsibility lies on the powerful to behave better. There's never an onus to behave with honor, with respect, with humanity.

#RapeCulture

Anyway, I tried to get people to leave and come with me to GooglePlus. "But my friends aren't there." I ran a campaign to tell people that I'm not connecting apps to Facebook because the apps demand access to my friends' accounts. My friends still didn't come to GooglePlus.

The irony is I don't care about the data thing. Have my data. When I do something they don't like - be a loud fat ugly hairy man-hating dyke - and I complain that there's a Facebook site where men post pictures of women that deserve to be raped, they go to their data and check my armpits. Then I get a note to say, "This Facebook Page does not violate our Terms and Conditions."

Or translated,...

"What you gonna do, Dumb Fuck? You gonna leave Facebook? Thought so."

John Haggee on lesbians, a response

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Wed, 21 Mar 2018 06:27:00 +0000

My response to GOP guy John Hagee: "God Made All Lesbians Flat So They Could Be Identified By Normal People Easily"... that lesbians are so flat you can't find them with a GPS. This way lesbian are unattractive to men.

My response: I consider myself particularly hilly because I don't starve myself into a state of perpetual deprivation to meet the physical standards required by men who prefer their women lacking in brain function from decades-long malnutrition. Only two decades or less, if possible. #Aargh.

On the necessity of the Hate Crimes Bill

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Thu, 15 Feb 2018 14:43:00 +0000

I don't agree. The systemic issues with hate crimes or plain violence are different. Just like murder is rarely a recidivist crime, rape is recidivist. By picking out the differences, treating perpetrators differently we can punish them for the correct amount of time. A guy who leaves a knife in a body he robbed should be punished differently from a man who leaves a toilet brush in a body he verbally assaulted and went home and bragged about - and his peers had a party over. These crimes are not equal. Although the collectible evidence may be.

The perception of society that hate is more wrong than robbery, which it is, is also missing. law is not just for the perpetrator, it is also for the victim.

Sexual assault

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 07:12:00 +0000

If sexual assault always affects trust, then #AllWomen are walking around with PTSD and trust issues. I for one don't let THE MANY MANY TIMES I have been sexually assaulted and various other crimes (I do live in South Africa) be a guiding factor of my life. I have consciously chosen to trust on purpose. However, only insane people close their eyes while trusting. I don't shy away from trusting, I just make sure that I let people tell me who they are, and then I LISTEN and respond.

You would be horrified, but I am not. I am NORMALIZED to this level of violence. It's natural. More sheltered people in my country have no clue what it's like to be a fully-engaged and person-on-the-street. You get used to it. Like children in war. It's the thing happening now and then that adds an anomalous punctuation to your life. You can't spend every day crying. The country is economically stuffed so you have to get on with making money, to eat. It makes you more articulate about the violence processes and nuances. More than sheltered people. And in my case, I articulate publicly. Some articulate in other ways.

#WhitePriviledge, Why every current generation is responsible for the sins if their forfathers

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Sun, 26 Nov 2017 03:56:00 +0000

If your mother and father were horrible to a baby, and years later you met that baby as a ten-year-old would you treat him in a special way? As a 15-year-old? If your neighbour whom you knew did it? The guy down the road. What if your parents sold that baby for bread, and so they did not go hungry, didn't die. Or you didn't go hungry. Where are the cut-off points you are talking about?

PHOTO COMPETITION UNTIL END NOVEMBER 2017

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 10:57:00 +0000

Definition of a book

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 09:16:00 +0000

A book is a conduit to the imagination. It takes longer to read than twenty minutes and it is internally connected. A sustained argument-discussion-revelation from many angles. A twisting together of narrative and meta narrative that weaves into a conclusion, even if that conclusion continues out the back door of the book.

Audrey Hepburn and the patriarchy

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Sat, 29 Jul 2017 05:29:00 +0000

#Movies ~ Audrey Hepburn. This article takes a positive slant. I love Hepburn, but I don't think much of this article is believable except that most of her films turn her stories about love into stories about prey. Don't get me wrong, I do love the article, I see the old men paired with the teenage-looking and much-younger-in-years Hepburn. I see that she knew that her appearance-compliance as a fashion-window-doll makes (the patriarchy) treat you as a 'lady' ((god) I hate that term so much). I know My Fair Lady embodied that acquiescence to constructed femininity and that I read her end-face to know she knows that as a flower-girl she had her own agency. There are bits in this article perfectly valid. But on the whole I believe that simmering pedophilia and fashion coercion and overt #RapeCulture ruled every movie she was in. I guess this article represents the glass-half-full version the hordes coerce us into displaying. Almost an ironic reflection of Hepburn's films. #Feminism

http://theweek.com/articles/447336/girls-film-hidden-feminism-audrey-hepburn

Interrupting women

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Wed, 19 Jul 2017 16:18:00 +0000

There are ten words every girl should learn according to writer Soraya Chemaly -- not vocabulary terms, but critical phrases they can use when their contributions to a discussion are interrupted or discounted. Practicing the phrases such as "Stop interrupting me," "I just said that," and "No explanation needed" will help girls speak them in real life -- and teach both boys and girls that it's not socially acceptable to interrupt or ignore a female voice. Whether in the classroom, in the boardroom, or on the Senate floor, it's time for mighty girls and women to persist and ensure that their voices are heard.

Chemaly points out that, "Globally, childhood politeness lessons are gender asymmetrical... we generally teach girls subservient habits and boys to exercise dominance." As a result, boys and men are more prone to interrupt or talk over another person -- and to firmly prevent someone from interrupting or talking over them -- while girls and women are more prone not to interrupt, and to give way to someone who interrupts them.

"It starts in childhood and never ends," she continues. "Parents interrupt girls twice as often and hold them to stricter politeness norms. Teachers engage boys, who correctly see disruptive speech as a marker of dominant masculinity, more often and more dynamically than girls." This continues into adulthood where "women's speech is granted less authority." Research found that in male-dominated problem solving groups such as boards, committees, and legislatures, men speak 75% more than women, which is why researchers summed up, 'Having a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice.'"

Chemaly also highlights another common problem: "A woman, speaking clearly and out loud, can say something that no one appears to hear, only to have a man repeat it minutes, maybe seconds later, to accolades and group discussion." This may not happen consciously, but Chemaly points out that makes it easier to underestimate "how broadly consequential the impact can be. [And w]hen you add race and class to the equation the incidence of this marginalization is even higher."

But women and girls can reclaim their voices by standing up and refusing to allow even unconscious sexism in the flow of discussion. So when, Chemaly says, people ask her "what to teach girls or what they themselves can do," she says, "practice these words, every day: 'Stop interrupting me,' 'I just said that,' and 'No explanation needed.' It will do both boys and girls a world of good."

Have you personally experienced this or seen girls or women's voices crowded out or gone unheard in groups? To the women in our community, how do you make your voice heard in these situations?

To read Chemaly's article on gender, language, and behavior on HuffPost, visit http://huff.to/1qllYLo #ShePersisted

For an excellent guide to help tween girls learn how to approach over 200 social situations with confidence -- including information on the importance of body language -- we highly recommend "A Smart Girl's Guide to Knowing What to Say" for ages 9 to 12 at http://www.amightygirl.com/a-smart-girl-s-guide-to-knowing-what-to-say

For a helpful guide for teen girls on how to assert themselves and voice their opinions, check out "Express Yourself: A Teen Girl's Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are" for ages 12 and up at http://www.amightygirl.com/express-yourself-guide

For an uplifting picture book about an irrepressible Mighty Girl who won't let the criticism of others hold her back, we highly recommend "Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon" for ages 4 to 8 at http://www.amightygirl.com/stand-tall-molly-lou-melon

For a helpful book for parents that explores this issue in depth and offers practical strategies to foster girls' assertiveness, resilience, and integrity, check out "The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence" at http://www.amightygirl.com/the-curse-of-the-good-girl

And, for hundreds of true stories for children and teens of female trailblazers who wouldn't let their voices be silenced, visit our "Role Model" biography" section at http://www.amightygirl.com/books/history-biography/biography

Source: Mighty Girl (Facebook)

About Bullying

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Sun, 16 Jul 2017 17:12:00 +0000

~

This sentence, my only interaction on this whatsapp group, a language classes whatsapp group, about a picture of hearts with twee words about love lasting forever... nothing to do with language.... "Can I ask that we don't post bits and pieces of not-language-learning things. It eats up my bandwidth." This is a clear statement of a boundary suggestion, with a reason. A suggestion phrased as a question. I was told I was a bully. I said to the person who called me a bully... NOT the twee pic poster, that she should investigate what bullying is, politely. And left the group.

I realize people don't have any real idea what bullying is. So I prepared this piece below.

...

Asserting your point of view is not bullying. Assertiveness does not mean you will get what you want. It simply helps each party express their desires with an INTENT toward accomplishing a specific goal.

http://www.psychhealthnet.com/tips_assertiveness.htm

...

Reverse bullying. The passive aggressive person is a master at maintaining calm and feigning shock when others, worn down by his or her indirect hostility, blow up in anger. In fact, the person takes pleasure out of setting others up to lose their cool and then questioning their "overreactions."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201011/10-things-passive-aggressive-people-say
....

False accusations of bullying. Staff can be just as fed up as managers with a colleague who under-performs and then make false accusations to deflect attention away from themselves. Spurious accusations of bullying also mean that real cases may go undetected.
http://www.barrywinbolt.com/accusations-of-bullying/

...

Conflict avoidance. Conflict avoiders are people pleasers, who try to make others feel good and happy to their own expense.
http://phoenixmenscounseling.com/blog/2014/09/29/conflict-avoidance-creates-conflict/

...

Respecting that others can set boundaries and share their wishes. Boundary disrespectors feel as though the one who deprives them of their wishes is "bad," and they become angry. They are not righteously angry at a real offense. Nothing has been done "to them" at all. Someone will not do something "for them." Their wish is being frustrated, and they get angry because they have not learned to delay gratification or to respect others' freedom.
http://www.boundariesbooks.com/articles/boundaries/others-resist-your-boundaries/

...

What bullying is not
* single episodes of social rejection or dislike
* single episode acts of nastiness or spite
* random acts of aggression or intimidation
* mutual arguments, disagreements or fights.
https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/definition-of-bullying/
...

Using false accusations of bullying. But the term has come to be more generally used to describe all sorts of unpopular behaviour, and because of the impact the term has
http://www.barrywinbolt.com/accusations-of-bullying/
...

Bullying definition
Forms of intentional, repetitive, domination
1. Physical bullying. This refers to the use of physical intimidation, threat, harassment and/or harm.
2. Tangible/material bullying. Using one's formal power (i.e. title or position) or material leverage (i.e. financial, informational, or legal) as forms of intimidation, threat, harassment, and/or harm.
3. Verbal bullying. Threats; shaming; hostile teasing; insults; constant negative judgment and criticism; or racist, sexist, or homophobic language.
4. Passive-aggressive or covert bullying. Negative gossip, negative joking at someone's expense, sarcasm, condescending eye contact, facial expression or gestures, mimicking to ridicule, deliberately causing embarrassment and insecurity, the invisible treatment, social exclusion, professional isolation, and deliberately sabotaging someone's well-being, happiness, and success.
5. Cyber bullying. Many types of tangible, verbal, and passive-aggressive behavior mentioned above can be conveyed online.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201701/the-5-most-common-types-adult-bullying

...
Sexism. Women are more acceptable-likeable if they advocate for others versus if they advocate for themselves
https://qz.com/878838/successful-people-use-these-techniques-to-speak-up-for-themselves-and-stay-likable/

...

Passive-aggressive manipulation. Passive aggressors succeed in silencing you because to critique a "nice person" makes the criticizer a guilt-ridden, bad person.
https://www.towerofpower.com.au/why-people-remain-quiet-shy-and-non-assertive-the-benefits-of-passive-behavior-and-communication

...

How to have a Pigfest

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 04:56:00 +0000

Pigfest. My favorite kind of party. Thanks for being our hub, Uta. It's not about food although we bring a plate of eats each. It's all about the conversation. You bring a truth statement and everyone talks about it for 15 minutes. You meet everyone, you all talk, you all learn each other's names and ways of thinking. Great to see Ute from Joburg and having a structured time to see my friends and really talk about the stuff they are thinking about.

Duncan Reyburn did a piece about Pigfest recently on his podcast:

Duncan Reyburn's unorthodox Unorthodoxy podcast. "Culture is the sum of conversation" (Aquinas), some oral notes on Pigfest

https://itunes.apple.com/za/podcast/unorthodoxy/id1082106203?mt=2&i=1000385696814

...

Thursday's Cat Media

Tanya Pretorius | 072 446 2425

typesetter | trainer | webmaster | writer

tanya@thursdayscat.co.za

www.thursdayscat.co.za

Why Feminists are fat

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Mon, 17 Apr 2017 06:10:00 +0000

#Feminism and #FatActivism. The rise of feminism coincides with the drop in blood sugar since you guys had us on salad diets. Makes sense, my mother had me on salad until I was 21. A couple of decades of low blood sugar is bound to piss anyone off.

When to tell someone you're dating that you are trans

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Mon, 13 Mar 2017 15:52:00 +0000

I say you take 'weird' things in your stride if you like that person - big clitoris, small hands, rabid feminist, looks stupid in a dress, small penis, trans, whatever - those things become part of a range of normal when you love someone. Love renders all the weirdnesses of a person doable. I say let them date, and after a rapport is established you let all the skeletons on both sides out the bag. Then you ask yourself. No third parties, no secrets.

#ReverseRacism is not a thing

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 05:13:00 +0000

#ReverseRacism is not a thing. The goal is to fix racists. By realising the distinction between racism and people violated by racism responding to the racism perpetrated against them I hope that racists will own their racism and cut it out.

When a two year old says "but see what you did to me in response to what I did to you", the original violence seems justified. But it is not. We teach that two year old that the best way to deal with their unjustifiable hatred and bad behaviour is to have empathy - insight into their self-serving behaviour - and to apologise. And to do so sincerely. There is a measure of that sincerity, and that is their behaviour after the apology.

These are basic human interactions.

What I see is White people stomping around muttering under their breath, screaming. Like two year olds who were forced to apologise, and they did so because mommy was going to withhold their dinner and send them to their room.

Total lack of graciousness and empathy.

It's no wonder the world is disgruntled with them.

This isn't about who will be colonised next. This is about us. Now. It's about basic humanity. It's about us being accountable. History will look back and say we should have created a systemic mechanism to divest ourselves of our ill-gotten gains. Like the two year old we should give back the money we stole from Mommy's purse.

It's not up to us to theorize about who will be colonised next. We have an opportunity to make things right and it is slipping away. An opportunity to make our part in tipping the wheel right.

HOW is the question.

On homosexuality and the command to be fruitful

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 06:16:00 +0000

Aside from the fact that anal sex is practiced at length (Hehe) by heterosexual people. At any one moment in the world trillions of heterosexuals are piercing each other pointlessly.

This planet is groaning under the weight of too many people. Before birth control women generally had 11 and 12 children. How can we educate those amounts on children as husbands, because that amount of children chains mothers breasts to the home, she can't work. How can our poisoned water slake the thirst of so many children. How many animals will have to live under horrific circumstances to feed those children.

THE WORLD HAS CHANGED. The economy cannot support women-as-incubator. Birth is irrelevant. If (god) would not concede that and add a footnote to his bible, he's violent.

People who think that a book written that long ago, is wrapped in a vacuum, are arbitrarily assigning a no-footnote rule to the bible. (god) is screaming 'Footnote required' - your inhumanity to animals cannot be of (god), the climate change (no wonder the bible-people deny it). The violence in our world will come from a shortage of water, do you dismiss what you don't want to hear from (god) as 'from the devil' because the tenth generation and more must live like people lived in a desert thousands of years ago. Go back to your desert, and take your women and babies with you!

On decriminalizing domestic violence

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Thu, 02 Feb 2017 00:16:00 +0000

If women refuse to marry because domestic violence is decriminalized, and surname change is forced, birth control is restricted, abortion is banned, and the 1920s is returned to shackle us, you realize they will have to take away our right to work in order to force us to marry so we can eat. Sexism-patriarchy is a closed system based on women's dependence. If we are forced to have 20 children, we are beggars for their bread.

#Copyright ~ Cory Doctorow

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Tue, 10 Jan 2017 08:51:00 +0000

#Copyright ~ Cory Doctorow, People who want to buy my stuff must know it exists. Obscurity is the enemy of being paid. Copying solves the 'getting your artistic work to your audience' problem. Families with internet access have better lives on every axis, including nutrition, jobs, education, political engagement.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfU6e6--izo

20 Whatsapp Group Etiquette Rules

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Tue, 10 Jan 2017 07:47:00 +0000

#WhatsappEtiquette

1. Just add me. Don't ask if I want to be added. I know where the Exit Group button is.

2. Anonymity is out. Everyone must supply their full name. We're on the group to make contact and share views, make decisions, meetup IRL. If it's anonymous, random names, random numbers, talking is difficult to follow. What is the purpose of group? Networking? As soon as you're added, tell your full name and what you do that is relevant to the group.

3. Harassment. If girls on the group are harassed, what kind of group is it, what kind of men belong? She should Exit Group.

4. No spamming. If admins let spam through, Exit Group.

5. Private conversations in-group are out. If it's not for everyone, take it outside the group.

6. Be succinct and purposeful. Don't use extraneous words. Get to the point. Don't cause more than two dings.

7. Don't expect immediate responses. If I am meeting you, let's meet at your house so you're not staring into space being sexually harassed at the pub. We have lives and won't be texting while driving, sleeping, reading, having sex, communing with friends and lovers, watching movies, working, shopping, writing books and poetry and theses and reports, studying, bathing, taking pets to the vet or park, and any number of other activities.

8. No voice notes. Texting is about being able to quickly see if you need to respond. Voice notes mean I have to step into a quiet spot to listen to you umming and ahing. Call me, then you'll see if I want to listen to that by if I pick up. I don't do Voicemail either, send a text. I’ll answer if I can talk freely.

9. Stick to the topic. Name your group according to content. People who don't stick, should be contacted privately by admins. If you aren't sure if your content is suitable, contact an admin privately to check.

10. Contribute. You were added because someone was interested in your considered opinion.

11. Make more admins based on responsible contributions. Not everyone is a considerate admin. Admins could be spammers or add dozens of irresponsible people to the group.

12. Group size. If members contribute meaningfully and responsibly, groups can grow bigger. Admins can remove people, but that is violent. Private discussions with repeat spammers or unnecessarydingers, should result in removal.

13. Admins have responsibilities. Don't start a group unless you are prepared to admin it, remove people, confront people, guide conversations to the topic.

14. Don't fuss about prompt replies. If you are monitoring if a message has been read and not replied to, you are suffering from a compulsion. Sometimes people have to count to 10 because you sent them an inappropriate message, or they have to exit the loo because someone is hurrying them, or they are scubadiving and have to rise for air. Life happens FIRST, then texting.

15. One photo only if asked for. Because data plans are varied, if you want to send more than one photo, make a sister group with the word photo in the title so that people can open the photos when on wifi.

16. 10pm - 7am no texting. This is a guideline for groups. If you have a one-on-one texting, that's between you two to decide on times.

17. Call-outs are necessary. If someone calls your bad etiquette out by privately messaging you, don't be a baby, don't sulk. Be understanding that anarchy in the group detracts from its purpose.

18. Lurking is acceptable. You can watch the information unfold without having to say 'Gotit', 'Thank you', 'Seeya'. If there are 20 people in the group and everyone says 'Seeya' that's 20 dings. If answers are required, e.g. "How many are coming to my party, I'm arranging catering?" - to reply Click and Hold on the Whatsapp message and scroll to Message (sender), and reply to them individually.

19. Emoji diet. Emoji should only be used if you want to convey tone. Emoji for flowery excesses and artistic expression belong on Facebook.

20. Be nice. Ranting, gossiping, public call-outs, swearing excessively, and trolling are usually eliminated by having to produce your real name. If you can't be nice, be polite, if you can't be polite, Exit Group.

-->

CC Attribution: @fetsiboomsticks Tanya Pretorius

Feminist hairy armpits, hairiness

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Sun, 08 Jan 2017 08:46:00 +0000

Ruth, not sure what you meant by 'and men who shave to please women'. Powerplay is not tit for tat. If a man doesn't shave he becomes all things nice - a bear, a hipster. If a woman doesn't shave she becomes all things vile because she is dissenting - hairy, feminazi, slovenly, stinks. A man's hairy armpit and a woman's hairy armpit don't hold the same social value.

An individual man who shaves something is given a cogent reason - he shaves his legs, ah, he must be a swimmer.

I hesitate to speak about gay men, because I don't belong to that group, but will take the risk because my point is feminist - under gay men there is also a demand for a certain muscled-slim appearance - 'No Fats or Fems' which I feel also diminishes the power of Fats and Fems in relationships - and yet there are men who seek out Chubbies and Fems.

Rare would be the het man openly seeking fat feminist diesel dyke womxn. Despite the restrictive gay appearance culture, gay men still allow a broader range of gender and sexual performance among men than they do women. I believe that it is transparent and normal and cultural to oppress women in this micro(!)aggressive way, by restricting which behaviours are acceptable.

And both men and women do the oppressing. The patriarchy is not a man thing. It's a man thing performed by men and abetted by women.

On my atheism

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Wed, 05 Oct 2016 06:49:00 +0000

Atheism is the word people use for those who don't believe. I don't study atheism like other atheists do - turning it into a discipline or... religion. I don't see the benefit of any religion, even atheism. But I won't let anyone elevate my non-belief in god to a religion. I don't want to know as little about atheism as Christians do about Christianity and call myself 'atheist' in the way that makes it sound more than an adjective. I am much more interested in Race, Politics, and Feminism. And many other things. I think the focus on religion makes it into something, something it can never be.

To a man who thinks an eyeroll is hate

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Fri, 23 Sep 2016 09:04:00 +0000

How reductive Tim Manning. All women who don't lie before you, snatch waiting, must be man-haters. You are creating a narrative. It's a fiction. But I can make it true in your case if you work hard enough at it. Right now, you are at the *eyeroll* level, but I can take it up to the *hating* level if you work a little harder at your trolling. You don't seem to be good at it though, no threats of rape, disembowelment, mutilation - I realise that you think that hating men who threaten you is a 'surprising' reaction. Personally, I think it sane. Care to test the waters?

Tarzan and the Female Gaze (2016)

noreply@blogger.com (Tanya Pretorius) — Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:35:00 +0000

A thousand years ago I experienced the female gaze in the way described. And it had no power, it was nothing, it had no commercial validity or self-actualising ability. It was just a waste of my time. I found myself looking at the women in the scene - their cast-offness - and relating more to that. I remember when I stopped believing Steve Perry. I have to actively suspend my disbelief. I find more joy in sexual defiance, it's less irrelevant. Slightly. :)