It’s not a big a problem as it could be, since our back yard is fenced and that’s where the kids play. But I do worry that having these stray dogs there will inspire our dog to try to leave the yard whenever we open the gate.

I’ve contemplated calling animal control about them, but these are wily dogs who only appear when animal control is closed. And I am just tender-hearted enough to dislike the idea of sending them to a kill shelter when they are clearly just worn-out old stray dogs who enjoy the shade in our yard. So mostly, I’m just annoyed by them with no real way to resolve the situation.

Today, we drove up into the drive and the 4yo and I had a discussion that offered some alternative ideas.

Me: I’m so annoyed. Look, those dogs are here again.
4yo: I hate them!
Me: Do they bother you too? [Thinking, I am going to have to do something about this. We can't have the 4yo being scared at his own house.]
4yo: Yes. I don’t like them.
Slight pause.
4yo, with the enthusiasm born of a brilliant idea: Maybe we can have Sally fight them! [Sally is our 14yo, very slow, gentle, and passive dog. No aggressive. Just passive.]
Me: I don’t think that’s a good idea somehow.
4yo: I know! We can have those two dogs go chase a CAT! [With such enthusiasm, again, that it was clear the point was to catch and dismember the cat.]

Let me know if you need a new perspective on your situation. We can rent him out.

So much so that for years, I’ve taunted friends who moved to Williamson County when their kids turned 5. [It's a real phenomenon.] Talked about how white-bread our southern neighbor is. How these friends were giving up, taking the easy way out.

Yet now, I am trying hard to figure out a good reason to stay in Davidson County, and I’m having trouble coming up with one. I’m just going to put this out there in hopes that you can help. Tell me where I’m wrong.

No one would argue that our education spending is anemic. In fact, it’s pretty good. But we have a student population with significant challenges in our county’s public schools, challenges which require greater funding. We have a high English language learner population. The poverty rate among Davidson County public schoolchildren is dramatically higher than the county’s rate, because so many middle and upper class families aren’t in the public schools. Last year’s budget woes eliminated real classroom teachers, not just theoretical teaching positions. While I am sometimes encouraged by Dr. Register’s work, I see too many daily examples of poor decisionmaking in the Metro schools to remain heartened for long. And, I have a 5th grader, a 4yo and a 6 month old. So this remains my personal problem for at least 18 more years.

Right now, my family lives 1 1/2 blocks outside [OK I'm biased; the 10yo is a proud graduate] of the best elementary school zone in Davidson County. We were in the zone when I bought the house — that’s why I bought it. Zone changed the next year. I am not even remotely comfortable with what I’m hearing or reading about the school we are zoned for, though I do still need to check it out in person.

A larger problem is that our family is too big for our house. Our 3 kids are spaced just so in gender and age that it would really be best for each to have his or her own bedroom. And in our hip, urban neighborhood, homes with 4 bedrooms are still awfully expensive, even in this economy. For several years now, you’ve been able to get more house for your money in certain parts of Green Hills and definitely in Bellevue, and that’s still the case.

And so for a while, I thought we’d just have to move to the southwestern part of the county. It’s not hip nor nearly so urban, but still not too far out, and we’d get the house our family needed. In a good school district.

But lately? I am trying to wrap my head around it, but I think it makes more sense to move to Brentwood. Here’s why:
* Good schools. Period.
* Good housing value for the dollar is available in some parts of northern Williamson County.
* I don’t hear any bitching in Williamson County about spending on parks and schools. From the outside, those “amenities” of the community seem to be highly valued by a large part of the population.
* They aren’t talking about mortgaging the city or county’s future on a convention center that is difficult to demonstrate the concrete value of. No doubt making it even more difficult to spend on parks and schools in the future than it is now.

There are some downsides, for sure. I’ll be a political minority, but I get along with most everyone. I do know all my elected officials here, and that is nice, but when the awfully smart folks I vote for aren’t able to stop these fool-headed actions by others, I guess that’s not doing me a lot of good, is it?

Sorry if I sound kind of depressed about this. I’m not really — I’m annoyed. Annoyed that housing prices are so high in this neighborhood I love. [It's happened since the local school opened and was immediately so wonderful.] Annoyed that our Metro government is so obsessed with this convention center. Annoyed that my realistic choice is moving so far away.

I suspect I would even have mentioned that if you buy the book from Amazon at this link, I’ll make a few cents.

Now, I’d really prefer to spend my time railing on the FTC, but I’m going to tell you about the book first, then go over to my other site for the FTC rant.

I’m a Marcus Buckingham fan from way back. I am not generally a fan of the whole self-help genre, but at some point, someone convinced me to pick up his book, “Now, Discover Your Strengths,” and I found it an incredibly helpful personal and professional development tool.

I haven’t read any of Buckingham’s other books, but they all seem to play on the same theme. In the newest book, Find Your Strongest Life, he focuses on the roles women play, and what we find satisfying and draining about our daily lives.

I will tell you up front, I had my feminist back up, and I was prepared to be offended at the slightest provocation. And perhaps in the end, what I learned was that I should scold myself for thinking a man wouldn’t have something useful to say about women’s roles in our society.

I think Buckingham is really good at two things:

• Helping you clarify who you are and what you do well
• Giving you simple tools to make that role more satisfying

If you’re looking for an in-depth psychological analysis, you won’t find it here. But you will find practical steps you can use today, this week, in taking better control of your life.

And really, that’s what his books come down to for me: Figuring out who you are, and feeling empowered to act on that knowledge.

In fact, I found myself thinking at several times throughout the book, that he really could have pitched it to people, and not just to women. I know plenty of men who feel powerless to change their lives. And that’s what a lot of the book is about: Determining where you are most powerful, most at ease, and making more of that happen.

Who should read this book: People who are looking for a clearer direction in their lives, or who don’t feel fulfilled in their current career choices.

Who won’t like it: People who don’t care for self-help/personal development.

Today, the 4yo brought Noah with us on the ride to school. And he was happily chattering away to Noah in the back of the van, when suddenly I caught a snippet and felt compelled to interrupt.

4yo: “And the parents killed people.”

Me: “WHAT???”

4yo: “I said, the parents killed people.”

Me [racing in my head to think, I can't say parents don't kill people, because sometimes they do. But heaven forbid, does he think that's normal? What the hell am I supposed to say??]: “Well, let’s hope not!” [and thinking, that sounded lame.]

4yo: “God is going to kill them.”

Me: “Now, I know that God does not kill people.”

4yo, in his most exasperated tone: “Mom, it’s just a story.”

He then proceeded with several minutes of what God does and doesn’t like. For the record, God likes mommies, daddies, babies, boys named with the 4yo’s name, trees, ladders and houses. God does NOT like older sisters, motorcycles or steps.

You heard it here first.

I love no holiday more than Thanksgiving — a gathering of family and friends, careful preparations and a groaning table.

And I have been thinking about how this feels like a very positive part of my life, this love of food and sharing it with my friends and family. And I notice that the 10yo — honestly — could care less about food. She eats every day, but much more because she is hungry than because she likes food, per se. She’s a fan of Cheetos like any other 10yo, but her food cravings and desires don’t go far beyond that.

There’s a part of me that can read all that and say, OK, probably a healthy thing. Why on earth would you be concerned about a child who eats when she’s hungry?

I’m not really. But I wonder about what created this love of food in me, and I wonder if there’s a way to consciously share that. I enjoy thinking about how to make better tasting, more nutritious meals for my family. And in this day of instant anything, that seems to me like an enormous gift to them.

So I’ve deleted the Yahoo group, and we’re back in business at the old location:
http://groups.google.com/group/East-Nashville

What I learned:

• Google is not a benevolent dictator. It’s a bit of an oblivious bully. That sounds contradictory, but over the 10 days or so I was dealing with this mess, I saw both clueless and churlish behavior on the part of Google’s representatives. Neither impressed me.
• Apparently there’s a decent chunk of the web-going population out there who believes that Google retaliates against its critics, as well. So if I suddenly stop appearing in Google search results, I guess we’ll all know why. I’m not quite that much of a conspiracy theorist, myself.
• More people than I could hope to personally thank helped spread the word about the list situation. My gratitude to you all!

After the fiasco that Google Groups created for us over the weekend, I received so many kind emails and phone calls from folks wanting to help — to help fight Google, and to ensure we restore our group. Thank you all — it means a lot to me that so many neighbors feel the same way I do about the East Nashville list.

I did a lot of research the past couple of days. I was really hoping to find a PHP-based forum software that I could host myself, that would have the same or better features offered by Google Groups and Yahoo! Groups. To avoid this sort of wackiness in the future.

In the end, I decided there were two insurmountable problems with this approach:

• I couldn’t find a popular [that is, widely used and therefore well supported] but inexpensive software that included the option to email all posts, and to post by email, thus preserving the original email list concept that so many of our group still enjoyed.
• One REALLY important thing that Google Groups and Yahoo! Groups do is handle email deliverability issues. If you’re not in the web industry, this may not mean a lot to you. But the short version is, ANY email can be marked as spam by someone else’s email server, and Google and Yahoo! have relationships with ISPs and other Internet entities that make their emails far more “deliverable” than your average email.

So, I decided that moving the group to Yahoo! is the right decision.

[FYI, thanks to all who shared information and offered to help with Google. It is just a dead issue as far as I'm concerned -- they have not responded to my several contact attempts, and I'm truly not surprised by that. Google seems to operate as if it doesn't need any individual customer. A strange business model to my mind, but I was already aware of their attitude. Caveat emptor, I suppose.]

I am inviting everyone who’s emailed me to join the new East Nashville list, but Yahoo! only allows 50 invitations every day or two. So, please spread the word that it’s easy to join the list right this minute by sending a blank email to eastnashville-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or by visiting the group
home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eastnashville.

Once you’re in, you can post by emailing eastnashville@yahoogroups.com.

Thanks for being an important part of East Nashville!

I am working to find out if there’s actually anyone at Google I can ASK about this [they are notorious for not actually having customer service], or if it’s a moot point.

By 7/5, I will decide if it’s time to cut bait and make a new start for the list. Watch my blog and Facebook page for updates! And please, spread the word.

I do NOT have a list of group members. I would love to collect one, so if you were on the East Nashville list and would like to remain on it, please email me at lcreekmo@gmail.com with “East Nashville list” in the subject line. I will not reply to all immediately, but I will collect your address and let you know the minute I’ve figured out a solution.

After getting called out by the list administrator any number of times [no names to protect the guilty], some of us decided it would be nice to have another list, one for debate, discussion and general carrying on. Because as a neighborhood, we just didn’t get to do that enough at the local restaurant [we weren't the coffee-shop-haven that we are now] and the neighborhood association meetings. So I started one.

For years, it sat quite contentedly at around 300 members. Well, “content” is not the right concept. It was vibrant and lively. We were solving the problems of the world. Then a few years ago, it had edged up to around 750 members, and the Tennessean did a feature story on neighborhood lists. Within two months, we reached 1500 members. This year, we hit 3000.

We’ve been on the Google Groups platform for a number of years. It’s a nice, easy platform to use, and it allows me to moderate the first post of any group member — thus catching untold amounts of spam and letting me ban spammers before they can bother the group. Google did NOT, however, allow me to moderate pages and files — it only allowed me to either post pages and files myself, or allow anyone in the group to do so. Thus, I spent a lot of time deleting porn spam from both areas, until I finally turned them both off this week.

I have no idea if that’s related to what happened to our group or not. This week, Google reset its spam filters, and for some reason, the East Nashville group triggered the filters. They gave me the option to re-submit the site for review, so I did. Then this morning, they deleted the group. No warning. No communication. Nada.

Now, first of all, it says quite clearly in their Terms of Service that they can delete your group anytime. So I’m not arguing they did anything they didn’t warn me about in advance. But as a marketing tactic, Google’s approach fails on every level. They are the 800-lb. gorilla, but there are other options out there for a lot of their services, and I can’t imagine why they think it’s a good idea to anger people who work on web strategy for a living. I get it, I’m a tiny peon compared to the mighty Google. But seriously? This is how you treat the world?

I’m looking for a better solution for my neighborhood list, and spreading the word to re-compile my group. Still waiting to hear from Google. Not holding my breath.

I was so worried this would happen again. And until the very end of my pregnancy, it seemed unlikely.

My feet have grown another half size.

If I weren’t already sure that the baby is the “third and last” child, as I’ve said ad nauseam, this would be the final straw. Because I’m having to get rid of the vast majority of my shoes, just like I did when the 10yo was born. [Yes, she's 10 now. It's been a busy few weeks here at Fixin' Supper.]

Some of these fit. Sort of.

Even my list of shoes that still fit is fudged. The clogs and the duck boots really do fit. The brown heels sort of fit. And the sandals don’t really. But I LOVE those sandals, and they don’t hurt, so I’m going with them for the rest of this summer, anyway. Meanwhile? Every single other pair of shoes has got to go.

First to be replaced: The Sauconys. Then, some black heels. Then I guess I should buy some brown heels that really fit, instead of just sort of. And I’ll be praying for lots of rain this summer so I don’t look too stupid in those duck boots.

In my whole life, I’ve just never been that hung up on what other people think. [OK, no need to shout, "Obviously!" from the peanut gallery.] I try not to take myself too seriously and I don’t take you all that seriously, either. I’m more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than almost anything else. Every once in a while, I think to put on some makeup. At 37, I have a rapidly growing amount of gray hair and it’s not occurred to me to color it. You get the point.

So about 5 years ago, I started developing rosacea. Well, that’s not really true. I think I’ve been developing it since about when I was born. I’m very fair and freckled and I’ve always blushed easily. I blush when I’m NOT embarrassed or drinking, a fact I find quite annoying, never mind when I am. So, given what I was just saying earlier, you’d think the fact that my face gets red…and can sometimes stay red much of the day…wouldn’t be a big deal for me, emotionally.

But it’s here that I met my limits. I have given up trying to evaluate the roots of this vanity: Is it that I’ve always been complimented on my skin, so that I developed some pride in it, as if I had anything to do with what kind of skin I have? Or is it that it’s changed the way I see myself? Well, regardless.

Here’s the kicker: I was so worried about what would happen to my skin while I was pregnant, since I wouldn’t be using the topical medicine that really seemed to have helped [though not eliminated] the rosacea. Yet my skin just got better and better. And then I realized: Pregnant. Practically no alcohol for 8 months. [Baby arrived early.]

Alcohol is a known trigger for rosacea, but so are lots of other things. I’d never been able to conclusively identify anything beyond alcohol that really set mine off, and now I’m thinking, maybe that IS the only significant trigger I have.

Back to the vanity part: I’m seriously considering not drinking anymore, just so my skin will stay like this. I’m not a big drinker anyway–unless there’s a big party or family event, I’m unlikely to have more than a couple of glasses with dinner, a couple of nights a week. But apparently that was enough to really screw up my skin.

Vanity number 2: I’ve never been really, terribly overweight, but I haven’t been skinny in years. Until I was about 30, I was definitely skinny. My metabolism downshifted dramatically around 25, before I ever got pregnant the first time, but I exercised enough and ate just well enough that I still wore a size 4 or 6, back before they super-sized all the women’s clothes sizes. [Seriously? That was marketing genius.]

For my 30th birthday present from the universe, I developed rheumatoid arthritis. Put an immediate and final halt to my running career. I’m incredibly fortunate; my RA has been in remission for 3 or 4 years now, with just mild lasting damage to my knees, which frankly, could have as much to do with the gymnastics, cheerleading and running I did for years.

But let me clue you in about what happens when you suddenly stop exercising at the age of 30: You won’t be wearing a size 4 anymore. Once my RA was under control and in remission, I tried any number of times to get back in my exercise routine. I ran into issue after issue: Child care. [I was a single mom to 1 and then 2 kids for about 7 years total.] Regular work schedule. Volunteer commitments.

I think the real issue is that I’ve never found anything I loved as much as running, though. I was never a distance girl, but the runner’s high is a real thing and it will drive you out the door when it’s too cold, too wet and too hot to even think about sitting on the porch, never mind pounding the pavement. Can you tell I crave it to this day?

Still, I wasn’t horribly overweight. My cholesterol was fine. I was in reasonable shape for someone who exercised just sporadically. And I was fine with myself. For several years.

And then I got pregnant. And from the split-second I started to show [at about 6 weeks, to my mind], I was ready to be skinny again. I have no idea why being pregnant triggered that in me. I didn’t just want to not be pregnant and back to my old self; I wanted to be back to my old old self, skinny.

A month after the baby arrived, I’m almost back at my old, pre-baby self. And I haven’t really worked at it yet. But the weight loss and changes to my body have slowed down a lot, and it’s obvious that getting back to my old old self will take some work. I am about to embark on a quest to find something I can like to do, if not love as much as running.