Finance Financial

Budget: Daily Telegraph predicts millionaires will get a beating

2014-05-07T20:08:00.002-07:00

Google owns the internet and is immortal

2013-11-01T17:19:00.002-07:00

Google has all the answers for the afterlife - so stop searching.

The Shocking Fiscal Cliff

2012-11-28T17:31:00.001-08:00

We have a lot of questions for the Bank of Cliff Richard

Random House and Penguin to merge

2012-10-25T17:37:00.002-07:00

Bertelsmann and Pearson are in talks about combining their publishing divisions, Random House and Penguin, to create a global market leader in response to the strategic challenges of the fast-growing ebook business. The new entity will be called Random Penguin. (see video below)

Billionaire Best Advice

2012-09-04T17:21:00.000-07:00

Gina Rinehart is not one to throw stones.

Gina Rinehart has made some great suggestions to all those whingers.

"If you're jealous of those with more money, don't just sit there and complain. Do something to make more money yourself - spend less time drinking or smoking and socialising, and more time working."

They should also try hiring fewer DVD's, playing less mini-golf, and should definitely avoid family court battles.

"There is no monopoly on becoming a millionaire," writes Mrs Rinehart, who has built a $20 billion-plus mining empire since inheriting lucrative tenements from her father, Lang Hancock, in 1992.

And stop wasting your time playing Monopoly, get back to work. Collect your $200 - which Rinehart helpfully suggests should be the new minimum wage and mortgage your house. I'll be at my hotel in Park Lane.

Australia risks heading down the same path as European economies ruined by "socialist" policies, high taxes and excessive regulation. And I'm with Rinehart, I don't like anything that's social.

BHP halts Oylympic Dam expansion

2012-08-22T18:36:00.001-07:00

BHP Billiton's decision to mothball more than $US60 billion in expansion projects was neccessary to stave off a huge PR disaster said CEO Marius Kloppers.

After Australia's disastrous turn in the London Olympics, coming second place in so many events spending $30 billion on getting silver from Olympic Dam just couldn't get support from anyone.

iiNet delivers its best financial result ever

2012-08-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

The internet provider is in a strong position with an 11 per cent rise in full year profit.
2012 has also seen an 11 per cent increase in Irish men with beards.

With it's saturation marketing iiNet has positioned Australia as a nation which welcomes and even celebrates bearded Celtic nationals. Sightings around Bondi, Kings Cross and the CBD have risen dramatically.

In days past, these bearded Irishmen would have typically written poetry and drunk heavily. Now they market ADSL and steal your girlfriend. Our soft borders mean they'll get straight in without any processing in PNG or Nauru.

Google gives perks in the afterlife

2012-08-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

Tech Giant Google knows how to look after it's employees while they are alive with gourmet food and free haircuts but it has also promised to look after them when they die. As well as giving $1000 a month to dependent children, Google has promised to:

Delete your search history if it contains any embarrassing references to porn or Justin Bieber,
Search for your missing body using google maps technology,
Filter unwanted messages from annoying relatives reaching your spouse,
Upload a cat-based eulogy direct to Youtube.

Not be outdone by Google looking after you when you die, Apple has announced it will give $50 to each employee everytime it freezes.

Construction Sector Shrinks Again

2010-10-06T23:43:00.000-07:00

The shrinking construction industry shrunk again for the fourth straight month in September. The construction activity sub-index was down to 36.9 in the month, reflecting negative growth. Here we have the latest pictures.

Westpac Rate Rise

2009-12-03T00:29:00.000-08:00

Dubai Debt Restructure

2009-12-01T05:01:00.000-08:00

Dubai World plans to restructure about $US26 billion of debt out of the estimated $US59 billion it owes, reassuring investors and helping global markets edge higher.

A spokesmen for Dubai World stated that "Initial discussions have commenced with the banks of Dubai World and are proceeding on a constructive basis. When it comes to construction I mean trust us we made that hotel that looks like a giant yacht and that one like the map of the world. Construction, Reconstruction, Deconstruction...sorry forget that last one trust us, the big hotels remember, yep the new one like a giant palm tree. Construction."

The Bad News and The Good News

2009-07-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

The Bad News: A survey has found that almost a third of businesses are expecting to cut staff during the next three months.

The Good News: None of these staff-cuts are expected to come from survey companies.

Financial Crisis Puns – Just Scratching the Surfers

2009-05-19T00:25:00.000-07:00

BILLABONG is facing its first profit downturn since listing in 2000, with a rapidly weakening US retail market forcing the world's biggest listed surfwear company to again downgrade guidance and undertake a $290 million capital raising to reduce debt.

Financial journalists have also had a difficult time inventing surf-based puns for their headlines. Here at FinanceFinancial we’ve collected a few of the best and then added some of our own.

Billabong profits dumped by global wave

US waves dump on Billabong

Dump Stocks?:Dump or be dumped

Billabong hit by a freak wave

Surprised by wave of debt

Wave goodbye to golden era

Profits go down the tube

Endless Summer, Now Winter of Discontent

Billabong barrel-rolled

2010 before Billabong gets back on board

Big Swell begins Hard Sell

Swelling debt

Profits Wipe-out

Billabong shares hit ocean floor

Board Caught Short

End of Perfect Break

Billabong faces downturn, Surfin’ USA

Surf Co. Guidance Goofy-Footed

Billabong Shares: ‘Drop-in’ price

Stocks for Surf, Bum

Billabong’s Future, In God’s Hands

Capital in pipeline, to deal with debt

Billabong’s Black Friday, looking for Big Wednesday

Billabong, Break Point?

CEOs the real victims of the credit crunch

2009-04-17T17:39:00.000-07:00

You may think it's home-owners and unskilled labourers who are feeling the pinch of the Global Financial Crisis, but the real victims are the CEOs.

Let's just take a look at one case study. An examination of one of the most successful banks in Australian history.

The Commonwealth Bank's CEO, Ralph Norris has had his salary slashed to $2.7 million next year after agreeing to trim his pay and that of the bank's directors and senior executives.

In these desperate times, the board agreed to cut the salary of Mr Norris and the directors by 10 per cent for the next financial year. He earns about $3.1 million a year, so his pay will be cut about $310,000.

A paycut of $310, 000.

Let's put that sacrifice into perspective. You could buy a property in Sydney with $310, 000. Not a good one, just a one-bedroom apartment in some rubbishy western suburbs, but rent that out to some single mum and your getting return on your investment within 3 years.

But that's not the extent of the carnage. The Board also voted to take these extreme measures.

- 10 board members who earn an average of $200,000, will each take a $20,000 cut

- 10 members of the executive will lose 5 per cent, meaning a reduction of $41,500 per person

- Executive general managers, general managers and executive managers will receive no pay rise or bonuses for 12 months

- Others who earn more than $100,000 will have their pay frozen

Why these drastic measures?, For what purpose? Who will benefit?

Well, ironically, it's those who earn less than $100,000 - about 70 per cent of the bank's 40,000 workers. Each will receive a 1.5 per cent rise. A pay rise!

For all 70 percent of 40, 000 workers!! That's a lot of workers, with a lot of payrises!!!

Adding further to the cost, is that these workers receive a payrise at the expense of others. Not just Ralph Norris who is taking the brunt of it.

The bank has also agreed to maintain its ban on sending jobs offshore for another three years.

In a message to staff yesterday, Mr Norris said profits were about to take a hit due to "slowing business volumes and higher bad debt expenses". Ralph would know, he's taking a hit himself, taking one for the team, taking a hit directly to his profits, in his pockets.

Ralph, we here at FinanceFinancial salute you and wish you all the best during these hard times.

Our number one tip for increased revenue streams

2009-04-05T17:28:00.000-07:00

Here it is, the number one tip for 2009 to increase your revenue streams.

Get elected to public office.

As a politician not only are you able to protect your business and pecuniary interests, you'll be able to receive a lot of free stuff. Sure this might be little things like cigars and bottles of wine, but most likely it will come in the form of all-expenses paid business class flights to China. Free overseas trips usually also include hotel accommodation and meals that can easily be described as 'business meetings' or 'research briefings'.

The important thing to remember is that the little presents that you receive can be sold for cash or re-gifted for constituents who get a bit nosy or independent ministers whose vote you need to give building contracts to your cousin's company.

Politics requires that you take a long term view, of about three years or so. If you're willing to do that you can set yourself up for life.

Cutting Edge Corporate Advertising

2009-03-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

Written and Produced by our partners Matt and Wilburgs Productions

How to earn a nine-figure income

2009-03-18T17:13:00.000-07:00

Here are six tips to becoming a billionaire.

1. Move to another country

Making the Billionaires rich most recently are those in Russia, Turkey and India.

2. Become a childrens' entertainer.

No, not Bozo, an alcoholic, middle-aged man doing kid's parties. Get out some colourful skivvies and a few catchy tunes like the Wiggles. Try to be a one-man show though, so you don't have to split your income down to 8-figures.

3. Go into IT

Microsoft, Google, Dollars. Get it? If you are doing a PhD or thinking about a Masters in medicine, stop right now. You are smart enough to know that IT is the future, Web 3.0. Microsoft, Google. Start putting you efforts into monetizing and monopolising.

4. Monetizing and Monopolising

see number 3

5. Start Prospecting

Oil and Gold. These will always be lucrative and will only go up as the economy worsens.

6. Email marketing

There are millions of people with access to the web and email. You potentially can reach them all, and get a few-hundred dollars from each. Some will even send you money and/or their bank account details if you say your are from Nigeria and tap into their greed.

How to deal with a loan shark

2009-03-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

In desperate times in the desperate economy we can sometimes find ourselves in desperate situations. Here are three tips you can follow in dealing with debt.

1. Assess the situation

Can you pay? Then do it quickly
Is he a relative? Then see if you can extend the deadline, reduce the interest or get more cash.
Can you disappear? Then use what cash you have, buy a one-way ticket and go live in the UK, South America or any other place you've always thought about.

2. Negotiate

Rather than risk losing the debt, most lenders would appreciate negotiating a compromise. Speak to your loan shark and be willing to be flexible. Perhaps you can do a job for him, steal something or become a drug mule.

3. Hire a hitman

You've already gone to the seedy side of business with your dealings with a loan shark. It's not a large step to hire a killer. Try to get a good price and remember you don't have to pay the whole amount up-front. Pay 50 percent before the job and 50 percent on delivery. Of course make sure you pay the outstanding 50 percent or you'll be back in the same (or worse) situation

Best bonus available in 2009

2009-03-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

This year seems to be the year of economic doom and gloom, but it needn't be. Make 2009 the year when you can take advantage of a great bonus.

1. The tax bonus

If you earned less than $80, 000 in the financial year 2007-08, or you made it look that way on your income tax from then the Rudd government will give you a $900 tax bonus.

2. The Baby bonus

The baby bonus is a refundable tax offset that you can claim from the Australian Taxation Office, even if you do not pay tax, do not have any income, or do not lodge a tax return. The baby bonus is paid whether or not you get any other family benefits—for example maternity allowance—and is not income tested. Plus the more we as Australians fail to replace ourselves, the higher this bonus is being raised.

3. The first home-owners grant

If you are a first home buyer who purchases an existing home, you may receive a total payment of $14,000 ($7000 First Home Owners Scheme grant + $7000 First Home Owners Boost).
If you are a first home buyer who purchases a new home, you may receive a total payment of $21,000 ($7000 First Home Owners Scheme grant + $14,000 First Home Owners Boost).
The Boost is not means tested and can be used to buy a property of any value.

4. The CEO golden handshake

This is the best option. You can get a bonus of millions of dollars and you don't have to be very good. In this current climate you can just blame your mistakes on the 'global economic downturn'. Remember too that the board only has the power to refuse your massive payout if it is more than seven times you annual yearly earnings. Don't be greedy, ask for six times. Don't worry about the government placing a one-year cap on your pay-out, that will never get through. They couldn't get that alcopop tax through the senate, our obese kids can now continue to get smashed on the weekends and you can get your payout, no probs.

5. Create a bonus

Sure times are tough. Some companies are threatening to not give out a Christmas bonus. Some are refusing to sign-off on a Performance bonus. So, why not speak to your manager about a non-performance/non-holiday based bonus. For example, you receive a 6-monthly bonus based on the amount of stationery supplies you otherwise would have stolen or the amount of time you are thinking of slacking off, because they're not giving out bonuses anyway. The important thing is to be creative.

So make sure, you make the most of this year.

Five steps to being debt-free

2009-03-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

Why not make this year, the year you become debt-free. Find out how you can do it with Finance Financial's top 5 tips

1. Don't go to University

If you go you'll end up with a massive HECS debt. This is a huge debt that is thousand of dollars per year. You'll also graduate with no actual work experience and most probably a drinking problem.

2. Change your lifestyle

Of course this can be extremely hard to do. Everyone likes to go out for dinner, rather than sit at home eating a tin of baked beans. Alternatively you can pull out your wallet at the end of the meal and exclaim 'oh no, I forgot to get money out'. This way you can let your family and friends pay. You will be able to do this for at least six months before anyone calls you out.

3. Change your habits

It is much cheaper to stay at home and drink. But if you decide to go out with friends drinking, make sure you go out in a big group - at least six or more and make sure that you never buy a round early. By the time it's your turn it's probably midnight, everyone is too drunk and/or it's time to go home because they've got work on tomorrow.

4. Take care with your credit card

Make sure you don't overspend on your credit card. Also try as much as you can to pay back more than than the minimum monthly repayments as this will reduce the interest. The best thing you can do is borrow your dad's card and use that.

5. Prioritise your debts

List all the amounts you owe by interest rate rather than the balance. Put high-interest loans at the top of the list. Now concentrate on paying off the debts at the top first. Of course if you owe money to loan-sharks or gangsters forget everything else we've said and pay those off, broken legs are much, much worse than debt

Welcome to the uncertain world economy

2009-03-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

Here are at Finance Financial we'll be giving you an insight into money, cash, finance, the economy, trading and making a payday