Fathers of Teenagers

Playoff against RVC

2010-11-07T09:59:00.000-08:00

My "little boy" takes the hardest job on the team and makes it look easy.

George Moskoff, a 56 year old guy who wants to be like the Dalai Lama. www.theapgconsulting.com

2010-08-15T13:42:00.001-07:00

How to engineer a Turnaround from Rosabeth Moss Kanter. Lord knows we could use one...http://bit.ly/co6G87

2010-08-11T14:24:00.001-07:00

An audacious idea for philanthropist, funders: more transparency; accountability, and; authenticity. Is he nuts? http://bit.ly/9yzxu9

2010-08-11T08:50:00.001-07:00

Micro-volunteerism: another source: Aardvark. Here's NPR's take on it. http://n.pr/jP0kY or go to http://vark.com

2010-08-06T06:18:00.001-07:00

Fannie Mae got the contract to use $75B of Federal money to help homeowners avoid losing their homes. http://n.pr/cOnRQB

My Little Guy Does His First Time Trial (A Car Race)

2010-07-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

Friends and Family,

High expectations? No, this little guy had none. The leaders, a Mazda Miata, low and with 13" wide slicks, got down into the low 50's (seconds) for about a one mile course marked with cones on the back end of Sonoma County airport. Old runways? Probably.

So, the adult pictured with Ethan was his "trainer" for his first run. After that one time, he was on his own. Dan, a pretty fast driver himself, said Ethan was "good to go." Ethan went out with him right after his own first run and...Dan spun out: a little too much power around a slalom at the end of the course.

Hot and sunny, I had no idea what I was in for when I showed up at 9;15am at a remote controlled gate on airport property. I didn't realize it was a "whole day" thing. Nor, that I was needed there because our "little guy" needed a parent there since he is, technically, a minor.

So, the race: his first run, with Dan in the car, was around 73 seconds. Not bad. Next run: 62 seconds. He kept pushing it. I went out with him one time and I could hear all the "crap" in the back of his car rolling around. Plus, I had to hold the visor so that the CD's wouldn't fall out around turns. Image this: left hand on the visor; right hand on the outside of the window trying to hold on. That was me; Ethan had the steering wheel. Didn't need the shifter much once he got in second gear.

His final run time: 59 seconds and something. Very impressive for the first time out: no slicks; no turbo; no race prep (besides taking out his "boom boom" woofer in the back); no tire pressure checks. Amazing. (I can imagine that Bob is "honking" with laughter by now.)

So, I had a good time. Ethan wants me to join so that I can run my 1991 Volvo 740 station wagon. Get this: one crazy driver, John, raced his Subaru Legacy Wagon: best times: 55 seconds. With mud and snow tires.

A fun day: took me back to Bob Lorenz in the summer of 1978; cold hot dogs on white bread buns; hoping he would finish or get the car to go a bit faster.

The whole album from Picasa is forthcoming.

Love to my little boy who finally has a chance to get out of his system the behavior that has led to three moving violations in the lat 6 months.

Love you Ethan. Proud of you, too.

Dad

From Ethan's First ESCA Race

2010-07-13T12:55:00.001-07:00

Feds rulings shut down financing for Energy Retrofits: bad times made worse. http://bit.ly/9fpLcf

2010-07-12T14:00:00.001-07:00

Local PBS Affiliate Re-Airs Interview http://ping.fm/yScFo

2010-06-28T16:49:00.001-07:00

Upsetting day: in Turlock, Ca. and on way to bike in a preserve, a bike falls off the bike rack on the back of the car. Bummer damage.

2010-06-14T19:53:00.001-07:00

I'm mountain biking: stole my son's bike and have been tuning it. Riding some crunchy trails at Annadel. No injuries.http://ping.fm/NPnTZ

2010-06-03T08:08:00.001-07:00

All sorts of people are reporting challenges in describing and agreeing to a new "reality" in the business world; people are clinging....

2010-05-25T10:31:00.001-07:00

I got some recognition! From my Undergraduate School.
http://ping.fm/ujF9V

2010-05-19T20:16:00.001-07:00

a long day that continues; watching "The Visitor" right now as I continue to work.
I have to send pictures from Gallup!

2010-05-05T06:18:00.001-07:00

Gallup, NM Day 3: Kids got wise and used sunscreen, hats yesterday. Shed walls up at Begay's house. Windy. Kids found two horse skulls.

2010-05-02T08:23:00.001-07:00

On the road to Gallup to work on Dine land.
http://ping.fm/a8vzI

2010-04-28T14:13:00.001-07:00

Oy: Finally getting out the invitations for this event in July. Community Building: the way to be.
http://ping.fm/3YsO8

2010-01-19T07:55:00.001-08:00

just upgraded to Pandora One and..I'm glad I did.

For the New Year: Be Yourself, Upset the Experts

2009-12-28T19:51:00.001-08:00

We Crave Connectedness But We Settle for Transactions

I've got a new thought for the New Year: tell the experts they're nuts. Well, on just one subject: explaining yourself. For the New Year, commit to "be yourself" and to hell with the experts and all their fancy "service platform explanatoins." (Does that make any sense? I didn't think so either.)

In the process, you just might find that you like yourslef, and others, just a wee bit better. And, that you're not always measuring yoruself against an untenable yardstick of "professionalism" and "propriety." If someone is explaining his/her business service to you, hang in for a minute: you can do it. Don't assume s/he will get it all out quickly and efficiently; sometimes, the smart ones need time, you know.

If you're in the professional servcie business, you've been told -- how many times? -- how important your "elveator speech" is to promotig your business. (I've got news for you: you could be the Bill Gates of Consultatns right now: you ain't gonna sell anything bevause no one's buying nothing. Just the way it is. [Excuse all of my colloquial double negatives, please.])

What spurred this? I got to hear an "award-winnng" journalist and consultatn speak recently on the subject of award-winning jounralist and consultant would have me believe that it's all about the "message." Some call it the "elevator speech" or "escalator speech."

After much deliberation, I decided that my niche is "people who like me." They could be in middle level posts in non-profits. Or in industrial or high-tech concerns. They could be a CEO or ED; a VP of Marketing. They're people who think I can help them better organize themselves and their institutions for higher performance. They trust me.

So, if the experts suggest you have ten seconds, tell 'em off and use 30 instead. I'll listen and if I don't, I'm not being respectful. How's that for a New Year's resolution: I will behave more respectfully in 2010. Towards others, the planet, my clients/customers, my colleagues.

So, when I'm told that I have to explain my work in the "right format," (What do you offer?...To Whom?...How do they hear about it?...) I'm being told to state my rank and serial number. I'm being told I'm a "thing."

I'm being encouraged, no coerced, to commoditize myself so that you can understand, in an instant, whether or not I have anything to offer you. How have we arrived here? Slick commercialism? Greed? Fear? Whatever it is, I don't want to buy it. I'll wait to hear what you've got to say: I've got plenty of time.

And, here, I'm going to extrapolate: part of the reason we're in this financial mess is because many people bought "things" that were not prudent: CDO's, CDS's, They didn't look beyond the transaction: it was a superficial decision, without depth or probing. It would seem that all the buyers were into this farcical respnose to disasters -- "it's all gooood" --- that is now used to explain insane behaviors and consequences. (Ask the expert pictured above; he knows.)

So, if I'm a "thing" to you, a tool of some sort that seems to fit your current conundrum, don't buy me. If you want to know who I am, great. I'll tell you. But, it will take more than ten seconds. Sorry, just the way it goes.

2009-11-18T14:37:00.001-08:00

Consultants working to help themselves and non-profits: Pictures: http://ping.fm/bnxFm

2009-10-30T15:36:00.001-07:00

My 20 year old son is skydiving today. Hasn't called yet; should I worry?

2009-10-20T10:32:00.001-07:00

Volunteerism hits primetime: This is a good thing.
http://ping.fm/jVo7A

2009-10-18T13:14:00.001-07:00

Aren't we really missing some conversations in the U.S.?http://ping.fm/RmMhS

2009-10-15T14:05:00.001-07:00

A new blog post inspired by an experiment in the healthcare field: apologizing for mistakes!
http://ping.fm/tP4m2

2009-07-29T12:53:00.001-07:00

Wish I were working on this garage instead of writing about it.
http://ping.fm/82EvI

School and Grades: Making the Conversation Real

2009-07-05T13:19:00.001-07:00

We have a dear friend visiting. She professes frustration with her 17 year old son's choices about school performance. Bright, inquisitive, personable, Nathan almost failed all his classes this past year. I worry that much of her identity is tied up in Nathan's academic success even though I know it's not: she's worried about his future.

What does the conversation with a teeange student who's chosen not to perform look like? How can anything be said that would meaningfully change the status quo.

Making an answer to this question more difficult is the developing reality: I think that teenagers today occasionally and unfortunately understand the irrelevance of normal life as we have defined it. My son knows about the hypocrisy of leading a modern life where we talk about "green," but we still participate in an economy fueled by petrodollars. At the age of 19, where can he go with this wisdom?

Harold Kushner, Rabbi and bestselling writer offers us a piece of wisdom: “If logic tells you that life has no meaning, give up on logic, don’t give up on life.” Is this part of the argument we need to make to these wiser children? So that they can fit their decisions into the larger framework of life?

I think teenagers are aware that grades and performance in school has some vague connection to one’s perceived “success” as an adult. To take this idea to its illogical extreme, though, often creates meglamaniacal behavior which requires shutting down some ethical switches in the brain; it is, of course, a generalization but many people with this kind of approach or thought process were the ones packaging subprime loans and mortgage derivatives for sale to investors and didn't ask any questions. Rugged indivualist kind of thinking.

The delicate balance we all strive for as parents is to help foster a sense of discovery in our children coupled with responsibility and compassion. Before answering "How?" we should accomplish this task, we need to spend more time with the "Why?"