Go forth and nominate your favorite blogs in
all the different categories on offer. You can’t vote for that blog you love unless it has been nominated in the first place, so go to it!

5, 49, 22, 11, 475, 15, 31, 138, 29, 36, 110, 42, 54, 9, 165.

Each of these numbers represents something in my life but really, they don’t tell you much about me do they?

They could denote my bust measurement, my age, the number of my photographs I have posted at redbubble, the number of years I have spent studying at university, my shirt size, my husband’s weight, the number of my house, my hip measurement, the number of hours I spent in active labour to have both my children, my bra band size in inches, my height, my shoe size, the number of years I have been married to my husband and my weight and the number of lovers I have had. They could represent all of these things, some of these things or none of these things.

So while all those figures denote something about me and may (or may not) provide you with snippets of information about who I am, how I live my life or what is important to me, they really don’t tell you much at all. You might like to think I have had 138 lovers and that I wear a size 5 shoe. You are entitled to think that but you may or may not be correct. You would be making assumptions.

You might think I weigh 138 kilograms or 165 kilograms or 475 pounds. You may be right or you may not.  Each of the numbers is an arbitrary designation foisted upon me by a scale of measurement devised by some wise person who had an overwhelming desire to keep track of things. Time, weight, size, length, volume – they are all arbitrary measures. In themselves, they mean diddly squat. Society has placed meaning upon some of these numbers. Society has placed a moral value on some of these numbers. If I have been married for 5 years, I might still be considered a newly-wed whereas if I have been married for 15 years I am doing pretty well considering the current divorce rate in this country. If I have studied at university for 5 years you might assume I am doing a double degree or postgrad study or that I study part time. If I have studied for 15 years at uni, you might think I have a student debt the size of the national deficit (and you would be right) or you might think I am have done several degrees. If you think I have had 5 lovers you might think that for a woman in this day and age who has been married twice and had another long term relationship, that 5 lovers isn’t too many whereas if you think I have had 49 lovers, you might think that is the most disgusting immoral thing you have ever heard. Or else wonder what the heck sort of pheromones I exude.

You could (and are more than welcome to) make all sorts of assumptions about my life from that list of numbers. Some of your assumptions may be right, some will not be. I am sure I am preaching to the choir here. You know you can’t learn much about me by looking at those numbers. If I hadn’t told you what any of them may correspond to, I doubt very much that anyone would have been able to correlate each number with what it represents in my life.

Yet how often are judgements made (by ourselves in regards to our own self worth or by others in regards to our lifestyle or personal characteristics) when the number corresponds to that which flashes up on our digital scales? Or when it is sewn into the tag inside our new jeans? How often are we judged, not just by others but by ourselves for those numbers? We see some numbers as bad and some as good, depending on what we are correlating those number with. 1000 dollars in our pocket is generally good, 1000 dollars owed in phone bills is not so good. 165lb might be one woman’s dream weight but it would another woman’s living hell. It is all subjective and arbitrary. They are just numbers. Numbers can’t have meaning unless we imbue them with that meaning.

Don’t give numbers power over you. Don’t let a number on the scale or on the tag in your clothing dictate to you what your life must be like. Just because you are 220, 250, 300, 450 pounds or whatever other weight, doesn’t mean you cant have a productive life. Sure, you might not but you might not at 100lb or 120lb either. Wearing a size 20 jeans doesn’t mean you can’t be a good person. It doesn’t mean you can’t be a healthy person. It  doesn’t mean you can’t be a productive person. Or a smart person, or an active person. It doesn’t mean a thing other than you wear size 20 jeans. Numbers do not have moral value. They are merely designations. We (society) are putting the meaning and the moral value on these numbers. We need to realise that we are only harming ourselves by doing this. These numbers are largely irrelevant, what matters is how you feel, whether you are able to do the things you want to do in your life and whether or not you are harming anyone else in the process. And even those things change from moment to moment. Everything is fluid, everything changes – constantly. We need to not get bogged down in what today held or what we think tomorrow may hold. We need to not allow numbers to dictate our lives, especially not numbers on scales or clothing. Let’s break free from being defined and dictated to by arbitrary numbers, let’s do something outrageous and try being defined by who we are as individuals and see how that goes.

A conversation in the FWD comments and with other FWD contributors got me thinking. And the best way for me to think, sometimes, is to write about what I am thinking, hence, this post, which is being crossposted on this ain’t livin’.

A commenter basically asked why size acceptance and disability activism are separate movements, and brought up the issue of ableism in the size acceptance movement. This is a question I’ve been asked a couple of times, so I responded with my blanket answer, which is that the two social movements are different things, with some intersections. There’s a lot of intersectionality between size acceptance and disability activism, but the two are different. Kind of like how feminism and disability activism are different. Again, many intersections, but different types of people and different types of end goals.

Being separate movements (with intersections) does not, of course, mean that members of either movement should be discriminating against each other, since they do have some common goals, and this is where the issue of ableism in size acceptance comes into play.

One of the cornerstones of the modern size acceptance movement is the repetition of the idea that being fat does not mean that you are unhealthy. That’s actually something I believe in. I want to divorce the idea of fat and unhealthy. The flip side of this, though, is that people who are fat and unhealthy are marginalized by the fat acceptance movement. And this is where the intersection with disability rights activism occurs.

Some people are fat and healthy. Other people are fat and unhealthy, for unrelated reasons. Other people are fat because they are unhealthy (hi, that’s me). And some people, yes, are unhealthy because they are fat. There. I said it.

I believe that all of the people in the above paragraph deserve to be treated like human beings. They deserve respect, they should not be shamed for their bodies, they should be given accommodations if they need them, they should not be treated as figures of horror, mockery, or fun. I would like to believe that everyone in the size acceptance movement thinks this way. That the movement is about acceptance of all people and all bodies, no matter how they came to be the way they are.

But. The problem is that, in some areas of the fat acceptance movement, there’s a good fatty/bad fatty dichotomy. Some people push the “good fatty” part of the dichotomy; fat isn’t unhealthy, we are the face of the obesity epidemic, etc. And they tend to sort of ignore the “bad fatties,” the fatties who are disabled (whether or not their disability is related to fat) and the fatties who are unhealthy. Because they don’t fit with the message of the movement.

Who’s a better face for a public campaign? An older woman who is a wheelchair user, or an able-bodied young woman?

This is a common problem with feminism, too. In the hurry to advance the movement, to try and accomplish something, people get left by the wayside. Not just left by the wayside, actually, but steamrollered and stuck in the closet. The bad fatties are that family  member no one likes who gets ignored at the end of the table or accidentally left out of social invitations. They don’t make the movement look good, or they don’t support the core messages of the movement, so they have to be excluded “for the greater good,” except that this concept is a load of bunkum.

There are people who want movements like size acceptance to be more inclusive. But it’s an uphill battle. Some people argue that it’s better to focus on small steps, like getting society to accept fat people, before introducing people to the idea that there are different kinds of fat people with different kinds of needs. I think that this is a mistake. It’s a mistake because it sets up exclusivity within a movement, and it’s a mistake because it values and prizes health/goodness above all else.

In short, people in the fat acceptance movement are falling into the same trap which perpetuates ableism in our society. It’s the trap that says being sick, for whatever reason, being disabled, for whatever reason, is objectively bad, and possibly your fault. This is the trap which is used to push people with disabilities out of the public discourse, because they raise uncomfortable issues. And because they make people uncomfortable.

The Fat Nutritionist, one of my personal heroes, wrote a great post about the fact that we have no obligation to be healthy. That post is as example of one of the ways in which we can start to deconstruct and break down this trap. We wouldn’t need a good fatty/bad fatty dichotomy if we accepted that some fat people are unhealthy or disabled, for whatever reason, and that’s ok. And that those people have some unique needs which need to be addressed, rather than being ignored in the desperate rush to make the movement media friendly.

So, are fat/size acceptance and disability rights activism the same thing?

No, they are not. But there are a lot of commonalities. Both are getting at the idea that all bodies need to be accepted by society, including those which don’t meet objective standards of health and beauty. Both are getting at the idea that policing identity, disability status, and health is not acceptable. Both endure opposition from people who think that fat or disability are somehow objectively bad and the fault of the person experiencing them. Both suffer from a good/bad dichotomy. Members of both movements face the “well, I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about those other fat/disabled people. You’re fine, it’s just those other ones that I have a problem with.”

Size acceptance needs to start addressing its ableism in a more meaningful way. It’s going to be difficult. I’ve fallen into the good fatty/bad fatty dichotomy myself, and probably will continue to do so despite my best efforts. Getting more disabled fatties involved in size acceptance would be a good way to start doing this. (Shapely Prose, for example, a major fat acceptance blog, could really use a columnist who identifies as fat and disabled, although Sweet Machine is a terrific ally for people with disabilities.)

Disability activism also needs to address its sizeism. Sizeism may not be as entrenched in the disability community as ableism is in the size acceptance movement, but it’s there. It sometimes manifests in very insidious ways, too; sadly, marginalized people sometimes marginalize others in an attempt to assert their right to exist. If we could recognize their right to exist, maybe they wouldn’t have to fight so viciously for it.

One of the best ways to start breaking down exclusiveness in these movements is to start stressing, when people talk about these issues, if you are identified with these movements, that people are talking about you. I am clinically obese (”but you don’t look fat”/”you can’t be fat, you’re not disgusting”). I am disabled (”but you don’t look disabled”). I am, in some terms, a bad fatty (”oh no, I’m talking about those other fat people, over there, those ones, not you”). That’s me that they are talking about. And every time I say that, I humanize the movement a little bit more. I get people thinking about things in a new way, because they identified me as on their side, as one of the “good” ones, and it’s time to start rejecting that thinking.

One, two, three….awwwww purdeeeee…..

]]> http://www.fatlotofgood.org.au/?feed=rss2&p=250 http://www.fatlotofgood.org.au/?p=249 http://www.fatlotofgood.org.au/?p=249#comments Sat, 31 Oct 2009 07:16:30 +0000 Bri http://www.fatlotofgood.org.au/?p=249 Today is the pagan festival of Beltaine (if you are in the Southern Hemisphere like me). Beltaine is a fertility festival but that doesn’t exclusively refer to making babies! It is about growth and expansion and creativity. The Husband and I were handfasted at Beltaine back in 2004 and my daughter was born just before Beltaine in 2006 so Beltaine has special memories for me. Usually at Beltane we go back to the place where we were handfasted and camp the weekend but this year other stuff happened and we didn’t get there. Which makes me a bit sad but we will be going up there in January for a week at least. But tonight we are off to celebrate the engagement of some friends and that seems suitably Beltaine-ish!

So happy Beltaine to my Southern Hem cohorts and Happy Samhain to those up  North!

Bluemie celebrates literature as an escape, a place where children should not be mocked, dismissed or shamed. And I couldn’t agree more. Books got me through a lot of hard times when I was a child, they were my refuge. If I had come across fat hatred in what I was reading as well as in the real world, well it would have been very difficult to deal with and it would have taken away the one haven I did have. I am sure there were fat stereotypes in some of the books I read but none that are clear in my mind. I have recently been reading the Harry Potter series for the first time (I know, I know…what sort of literate pagan am I not to have read Harry Potter…) and I was dismayed at the fat hatred and stereotyping that JK Rowling resorted to within her story lines.

Fat hatred is rarely relevant to the plot of children’s books yet it is predominant, often in subtle ways that may not be recognised upon first read but in ways that cleverly plant the idea of fat being bad in a child’s head (or reinforce that idea as the case may be) and affect the child’s subconscious beliefs if nothing else.

As Bluemie says, it isn’t that fat characters should always be the good guys and that fat characters should never be portrayed with negative qualities but authors need to remember (or realise!) that fat is not inherently evil or stupid or lazy or any of the other stereotypes fatties deal with every single day. A good writer can describe a character without using fat as shorthand for other characteristics. It can not be said strongly enough that ‘fat is descriptive, not evaluative’.  Society in general would do well to remember that, not just writers!

Oh, and the comments to Bluemie’s blog post are refreshingly open and accepting of her stance. So no sanity points will be lost reading them (well not when I read them anyway!)

Does anyone have any book recommendations that feature positive portrayals of fat characters? Not just children’s books, any genre at all?

This week I bought a young children’s picture book from a bookseller through my daughter’s daycare centre. It is called I Like Myself and it is written by Karen Beaumont and illustrated by David Catrow. While the illustrations don’t particularly appeal to me, I thought the prose was worth sharing. It goes like this…

I like myself!

I’m glad I’m me.

There’s no-one else I’d rather be.

I like my eyes, my ears, my nose.

I like my fingers and my toes.

I like me wild.

I like me tame.

I like me different

and the same.

I like me fast.

I like me slow.

I like me everywhere I go.

I like me on the inside too,

for all I think and say and do.

Inside, outside, upside down,

from head to toe and all around.

I like it all! It all is me!

And me is all I want to be.

And I don’t care in any way

what someone else may think or say.

I may be called a silly nut

or crazy cuckoo bird - so what?

I’m having too much fun you see,

for anything to bother me!

Even when I look a mess,

I still don’t like me any less,

’cause nothing  in this world, you know,

can change what’s deep inside, and so…

No matter if they stop and stare,

no person

ever

anywhere

can make me feel that what they see

is all there really is to me.

I’d still like me with fleas or warts,

or with a silly snout that snorts,

or knobbly knees  or hippo hips

or purple polka dotted lips,

or beaver breath or stinky toes

or horns protruding from my nose,

or -yikes- with spikes all down my spine,

or hair that’s like a porcupine.

I still would be the same you see…

I like myself because I’m ME!

(Hear that dripping sound? That’s the sarcasm, folks)

I know when I have been on different medications over the years for depression, my weight has fluctuated greatly depending on what regime is the flavour of the month at that given time. I remember one doctor who refused to believe that I had gain 12kg in less than a month simply because of the medication he had me on. The fact that I couldn’t eat because the medication also made me sick as hell didn’t seem to enter the equation…after all, I was just another fatty lying about my food intake right?

Anyone else got any horror stories about weight and medication you care to share?

Oh and this.  The World Health Organisation names the top 5 global health risks. Fat is not one of them.

Surprised? I am. I thought fat was taking over the world and meant the end to life as we know it. Apparently I have been misled…

Just to add to it, well known 37 year old mother of two and Australian model Sarah Murdoch (nee O’Hare) is appearing on the cover of Australian Woman’s Weekly (apparently) totally un-photoshopped. This is the image…

What do you think?

I didn’t have anything to do with the title of the segment (Fat is Good) and I probably wouldn’t have phrased it that way, I did make a point of saying that Fat Acceptance is not about encouraging people to gain weight but you know what these shows are like… They also edited out all the statements I made that referred to actual studies that would back up my claims. They naturally included the part where they ask me how much I weigh. I wasn’t expecting that and my reaction is not something I am particularly proud of. Naturally I thought of lots of witty comebacks to that question when it was way too late. Generally I am reasonably happy with the way they portrayed me and how it all came off. Of course I detest the headless fatties and the inane comments from Susie O’Brien and the medico but hey, you can’t win ‘em all and it could have been a heck of a lot worse!

ETA: Nick from Axis of Fat (another Aussie fat blog) will be appearing in a Today/Tonight segment tomorrow (Tuesday) night. So if you are in Australia, be sure to tune in!

Trigger warning (extreme self hatred and fat hatred ahead)

The story is one person’s account of being obese. Now I hate the word obese for a variety of reasons but that is the word this person chooses to use and it is just one way the predominant social attitude towards fat has pummelled this poor individual into a state of severe self-loathing.

According to nomorefatty (the author of the piece), her story reveals the ‘terrible truth’ about living fat. I was intrigued. I agree, there are some downsides to being fat (like people hating on you simply because you are fat) and I was curious to see where nomorefatty went with this. By the end of the account I was really upset for nomorefatty. Not because of her being fat but because of the extent of her self-loathing. I firmly believe that nomorefatty’s self hatred is more likely to cause her problems in her life than being fat will.

Nomorefatty says

You stare wistfully at your reflection in the mirror. No matter which angle you turn, you just don’t quite look right…   You can apply makeup, and help make yourself look better to a certain degree, but you know that no one is going to compliment your shade of lipstick today. The rest of your body is a mishmash of lumps and bumps, protrusions and strange angles that you know you simply cannot hide, regardless of what you wear.   Your desperation turns to panic as you raid your closet and realize that you have nothing decent to wear. Your panic escalates to heart failure as you remember that you won’t be able to find anything to wear…ever. The pants you own hug your belly, butt and thighs as if the cloth itself were holding on for dear life. The shirts you don only seem to accentuate your spare tire and bring attention to your ever-expanding waist. You realize this is as good as its gonna get and vow to avoid mirrors for the remainder of the day.   You leave for work. As soon as you exert yourself in the simplest way you begin to leak copious amounts of sweat from pores you didn’t even know you had. You are constantly plagued by this problem, and try to move as little as possible, because you know if you do, you’ll start to sweat again, and everyone will see it. If the bathroom, supply room, lunch room, whatever is downstairs you will put off going for as long as possible because you know that the simple climb up those stairs will cause those telltale beads of sweat to form along your brow…the one’s that scream “Look at the fatty, she cant even climb a flight of stairs without breaking into a sweat!!!”

In response to that, I say this. I am obese. I am what is classed as morbidly obese. And while I don’t doubt for one second that this is how nomorefatty thinks about herself and experiences her life, it is certainly not how I experience MY life.  People read accounts like that of nomorefatty and they assume that this is what life is like for ALL obese people, and nothing could be further from the truth. I do not look ‘wistfully’ into the mirror. I do not feel that I don’t ‘look right’. People compliment me on the shade of my lipstick (and eyeshadow) all the time! I do not try to hide my mishmash of lumps and bumps and wouldn’t even consider doing so. I don’t panic when I look in my closet because I am privileged enough to have a wardrobe full of really nice clothes that fit me and that I like, despite being ‘morbidly obese’. I do not avoid mirrors and I do not ‘leak copious amounts of sweat’ unless I have undertaken vigorous physical activity or it is 40 degrees Celsius outside. I don’t avoid climbing stairs either for that matter.

Nomorefatty continues

You eat your lunch. Regardless of what you decide to have, you know that people are silently judging you. Salad or pizza, everyone is either thinking, “She should NOT be eating that” or “How pathetic, like a salad is going to fix THAT problem”. In addition, you struggle with your own guilt and self-loathing. If you pick the salad, you will be tortured with the smells of that penne a la vodka wafting off your friend’s plate. If you pick the pasta, you beat yourself up and don’t enjoy a single bite of it. Either way, you loose.   You go shopping. You dare not even attempt to walk into most of the stores in the mall. You have tried it before and were immediately put to shame by the disapproving glances of the sales people or your fellow shoppers. You realize that the largest size they carry is a 12, and since you are a 28, there is no way that is happening. Sadness overwhelms you when you realize all you can buy in the vast majorities of stores are socks, shoes, and earrings. You make your way to the “big girls” store and walk in, shameful, hoping no one saw you. Your heart aches as you ponder the wares being offered to you. Bottoms that are ill fitting and make you look twice as heavy as you are. Tops that are just as ill fitting that make you feel like you are wearing a garbage bag with holes cut out for the head and arms. Everything offered is in garish colors like lime green or neon pink. The materials used are cheap polyester blends that just intensify your own body heat and will make you (surprise!!) sweat like a pig. You may find a few items that could potentially look OK on you and you say a prayer as you take them to the fitting room. As you try these items on you are not surprised by the result. You look fat…and the clothes only make it that much worse. Of course you need pants and sweaters, so you buy the closest thing to “ok” that you can find. Naturally you pay more for these items than your thinner counterparts because the stores know you only have one or two retailers to choose from, so if they charge 60.00 for a pair of basic black slacks…you are gonna have to pay it. No $10.00 items for you fatty!

I do agree with nomorefatty that people probably are silently judging me no matter what I eat when I am out in public. Do I let that bother me? Not anymore. I used to. I used to avoid eating in public at all costs. Now I couldn’t care less what people think of what I am eating. Let them be judgemental fools. It is more of a reflection on them than it is on me. And yeah, I do struggle with guilt and self loathing sometimes. Don’t we all? But now days my guilt and self loathing is rarely related to my being fat. I have other more important things to feel guilty about! If I pick a salad for lunch, it is because I WANT a salad for lunch and it won’t matter what my fellow diners are devouring. Which is why if I want a penne a la vodka, I will have a penne a la vodka. If I feel like a salad, I will have a salad. It is called mindful eating. Look it up.  Yes, I will avoid particular stores in the mall because I know they do not carry clothing in either my style or my size or both. Does that bother me? Only in that I wish larger size clothes were more widely available in the style I like to wear and I can’t fathom that businesses haven’t worked out they could make a shitload more money if they stocked larger sizes as well. Decently styled larger clothes that is, not just frumpy tent dresses. But if I want to go in and look, I will. How the hell do they know I am not shopping for my daughter or a friend? They don’t. And if they lose my business because of their anti-fat attitude, then bigger fool them! I am not shamed when I walk into ‘the big girl’s store’. Mind you, we only have one such store in my town. And half the women in said town shop in said store. Sure, not all the clothes in there are my cup of tea but that’s ok. I can source my style elsewhere. I do lament the crap that is offered up as an excuse for plus size clothes. I do think there should be better alternatives. I have nomorefatty’s back on that one! But not for everything she laments…

You go out with your friends. While your thin girlfriends get drink after drink bought for them, you bear the shame of reaching into your wallet over and over again. While they attract positive attention, flirt shamelessly, steal kisses and get numbers you hover near the bar, pull at your ill-fitting clothing and wish you were invisible. If by chance some guy happens to pay you some attention you now its one of three things…Either; the guy is not someone that you would want to be with, they are super drunk and rocking beer goggles, or it’s the work of the super hot guy who is trying to bed your thin friends wingman. Sure, it could be just a guy who likes bigger girls…but come on, who the heck are we kidding?   You know deep down that you will never attract the kind of guy you would want to be with long term. That perfect guy, who is fit and handsome, has a great job and a great personality, who is funny and witty, who has great friends and a great family, who you would be proud to have on your arm and who will treat you right. That decent guy is out there, and although he would never be mean to you because he is far to kind, and although he would never poke fun at you because his mother taught him good manners, and although he may buy you a drink because it is the polite thing to do…you know that he will never turn to you, gaze into your eyes, kiss you softly and tell you that you are “the one”. Why? Because he is not attracted to you. Sure, you can get a guy, get a date, get someone to take you home…but is that really the guy that you would pick if you could pick anyone? The answer is NO. Let’s be honest.

While I don’t go out partying much at all these days (if ever) I did plenty of partying before I got married (before I got married this time anyway). And my girlfriend that I went out with most of the time WAS thinner than me. She wasn’t thin but she was thinner than me. And never had to buy her drinks (or anyone elses) because I was fat and not getting any attention or having a good time. The three qualifiers nomorefatty offers up as to why a guy might show interest in a fat chick?  #1? Oh yeah. I got hit on plenty of times by guys I was not and no way ever would be interested in. Sure, maybe #2 happened. It sure happened from my end! #3? No. And I can say that with certainty because my friend and I never ended up with guys who were friends or who were out together. I know the wingman thing happens and it makes me sick. But it hasn’t happened to me. As for knowing I could never attract the sort of guy I would want to be with long term? Um well yeah. I did. I have. And come Thursday I will have been married to him for 5 years. My husband is HOT and he is JUST the sort of guy I wanted to be with. So yeah. Even fat girls can get the guy, should they feel so inclined. I don’t see the perfect guy has having to be ‘fit and handsome’. I don’t want ‘the perfect guy’. I want the perfect guy FOR ME. And I have him. Sleeping in the bed next to me as I speak ; )  He has great friends and a great family, is HOT (did I mention that already?), has an awesome personality and a fantastic job. He is funny and witty and charming. He treats me right and I am as proud to have him on my arm as he is to have me on his. This decent guy did turn to me, gaze into my eyes, kiss me softly and tell me I am ‘the one’. And he has been doing so for near on 6 years. He IS attracted to me and he tells me so all the time. And that is being totally honest.

You read up on sites that proclaim “FAT? So what..?” and study sites that rally for fat acceptance. You hear people that look just like you proclaim that they are happy with their weight, that they love their bodies, and that they wouldn’t change it for the world. You listen to them say that society is the problem and that others should be more tolerant because we are all meant to be different. You pump your fist in righteous indignation and agree with them, heck, you may even truly come to believe in their bylines. However, there is always a part of you that knows that what you are is not accepted, not natural and not attractive. You know, deep down, that you are the problem…not everyone else. You also know that if a magic potion were offered to you that would melt away your fat and make you lean and toned you would take it without hesitation. You also know that all those “fat acceptance” people on those websites…deep down…would too.

This is the reality of being obese. This is what it is like. Maybe not everyday, but just enough days to make you really seriously consider becoming a hermit.

Sorry nomorefatty but no. No. No. NO. I do not, deep down, know that I am the problem. I do not know that I am not natural and not attractive. And I definitely do not know that all ‘those fat acceptance people on those websites…deep down…’ feel that way too. Being one of those people on those fat acceptance websites I can tell you in total and utter honesty, I do not feel that way at all.

I could on and refute nomorefatty’s entire account but you get the general idea. And while I acknowledge that it is highly possible that my life is more privileged in many ways than perhaps nomorefatty’s is, I find it alarming to have one person put forward what they believe life to be like for ALL obese people. Nomorefatty’s story is but one person’s individual account of life. Mine is very different. Nomorefatty’s version fits nicely with the social stereotyping of fat people and the sort of lives they THINK we lead. I know different. I know my life is different and I know the lives of many other fatties are different to that of nomorefatty. I wish nomorefatty could learn to love and accept herself, her fat self. I wish she could be happier with who she is and find fulfillment and contentment within herself and in her life. I wish that for everyone. Self loathing is not the way people, it is not the way to anywhere you want to go. Believe me, I have been there. Many, many times. I still visit occasionally but I sure as hell don’t want to live there. I wish nomorefatty could move out too and find somewhere much nicer, somewhere with a lot less self loathing, where she could live and love and be happy. I can wish.

Please make sure you read the comments policy before wasting your time posting hateful comments. Anything like that isn’t going to be approved and won’t see the light of day. Genuine questions and discussion is encouraged but hateful rhetoric isn’t going to get through moderation. And if you think it is going to upset me hearing the nasty things you have to say about my fat ass and my deluded opinions, think again. I have heard it all before and I am still here. You can’t tell me anything I haven’t heard from other fat haters. So save your breathe and go jump on that treadmill you keep telling me I should get on…you might work out some of your rage while you are at it…

Now I am all nervous all over again…

Tonday Tonight, Channel 7 (Australia) 6.30pm Daygliht Savings EST (times may change depending on your local area).

There is no denying Paul Mason is a fat man. He weighs in at 445kg (just shy of 1000lb). And apparently he ‘requires emergency surgery to reduce his weight or he will die’. Now I am not going to say that weighing what he does might not be putting some sort of strain on Mr Mason’s heart, joints and particularly his psychological well-being (by that I mean the stigma and shame this man must face on a daily basis). But that isn’t the point. The point is, that the measures taken to ‘help’ this man might well kill him in the process. There is no mention in this story that the very surgery that is meant to save Paul Mason, could actually be the cause of his demise. People can die following gastric bypass. People have regularly died following gastric bypass. So in all truth, being as fat as he is, Paul Mason could live for an undetermined length of time. Should he have gastric bypass, he could die on the table. He could die of complications after the surgery. He could die as a result of the bariatric surgery long before being any ‘co-morbidities’ of being fat ever killed him. But we aren’t meant to think of this. We are meant to blindly accept the magic cure-all that is bariatric surgery and be lining up to have our stomach’s banded or mutilated so we can fulfil the social ideal of being thin.

Paul Mason eats a lot of food. Some fat people do. Yes, that is what I said. Some fat people do eat a lot of food. More food that would be considered ‘normal’. But what is normal anyway? Who makes these arbitrary designations that we all are meant to slavishly adhere to? Medical science… The same people who want us all to be banded or bypassed. And who is funding their research or paying the people making the funding decisions? Big pharma… the same people who are manufacturing these bands and diet pills. Yeah ok, call me a conspiracy theorist if you want but the truth is out there!!! ; )

The National Health Service (UK) says Paul Mason has a ‘psychological problem’. He probably does. His mother has just died and he is being paraded in front of the media like some sort of sideshow freak. He also says he has a food addiction. I have never met or spoken to Paul Mason so I am not going to argue with him about that. It beats me though how the NHS aim to solve Mr Mason’s ‘psychological problem’ by operating on him. Unless they are operating on his brain… which I somehow doubt is what they have in mind. They speak of wanting to ‘preserve his dignity’ but discussing with the media that the NHS has considered using a helicopter to get Mr Mason to hospital because he is too fat for a normal ambulance doesn’t seem very dignified to me. Not to mention all the CAPITALISED and bolded words in the newspaper articles, all designed merely to sensationalise this man’s situation.

Interestingly enough, Paul Mason did lose weight back in 2006. He lost 127kg but he put it all back on shortly after. Funny that. So now he is going under the knife in order to ‘cure’ his food addiction. Someone explain to me again how mutilating this man’s stomach is going to fix his psychological issues? Losing weight does not solve emotional problems. This man does not eat as much as he does because he is fat. So therefore, logic tells us that he is not going stop eating as much if he is not fat. Paul Mason does need help and support. What he doesn’t need if some knife happy bariatric surgeon reorganising his insides.

2009 Love Your Body Campaign grand prize winner.

Congratulations Marie Bushbaum, Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Surgery for weight loss is far from an easy fix

The glossy ads don’t tell of the real risks, writes Lily O’Hara

First there was one or two, then 10 or 20, but now the number of people with stories to tell about the horrors of lap-band surgery is reaching hundreds.

The glossy ads and celebrity endorsements show the “success” stories of lap-band surgery. The before-and-after pictures depict the transformation from fat to slim, from desperately unhappy to overjoyed, from sloppy to stylish. But move away from the paid advertisements and endorsements from surgeons profiting from these procedures, and you see a very different picture. All over the blogosphere people are telling their stories about bariatric (weight-loss) surgery gone wrong.

Lap-band surgery (or laparoscopic gastric-banding surgery as it’s officially called) is now the most widely used surgical procedure for weight loss. In 2008, according to Medicare, more than 12,000 people had lap-band surgery. With this many procedures being performed each year, it might be reasonable to expect it has undergone the sort of scientific testing we expect from new developments in medicine. Evidence-based medicine is the new mantra for medical procedures these days, and in this climate, any new procedures or pharmaceutical products are not just expected to perform better than no treatment or a placebo, but are expected to outperform the best current treatment practices.

Does lap-band or any other form of bariatric surgery, stand up to this rigorous scientific testing? The surprising answer is no. There have been no studies conducted in which lap-band surgery has been compared to conservative clinical management of health problems, and shown to be better for life expectancy or improving health outcomes. Lap-band surgery should therefore more appropriately be described as experimental gastric-banding surgery.  As with any experimental procedure, prospective patients should be made fully aware of the experimental status, as well as the range of potential unintended side effects. However this is not the case. Patients considering the procedure are only given the positives, and shown photos of success stories. They are not usually subjected to any psychological screening and often have no follow-up after the procedure. They are not told about the potential short-,medium- or long-term complications, and the prospect of dying as a result is almost certainly never mentioned. They are not told that at least one-third of all patients will have their band removed, that the honeymoon period of rapid weight loss, only 25 per cent will ever lose even half of their “excess weight”, that more than 75 per cent will have complications, or that patients can start regaining weight as early as one year after the surgery.

They are not told they may have band erosion or leakage, food intolerance, reflux, constant vomiting or digestive disease. They are not told the risk of dying after weight-loss surgery is considerable higher than with similar health conditions. One study suggests that the mortality risk is increased by 300 per cent in the first four years. They are not told that post-bariatric surgery patients die at five to 10 times the population average, with the higher rates being in the 25-34 age group. Experimental gastric-banding surgery continues to be performed on people on the basis that it is their “last hope” for a healthy life. In fact, many people have come to believe that their obesity will actually cause them to die, and this is reinforced by the clinics aggressively marketing lap-band surgery. It seems as though we are prepared to allow this surgery to become so mainstream that it is now proposed for children as young as 12.

Thankfully there is an alternative approach to improving the health of people of all shapes and sizes. This approach is called Health at Every Size, and it involves helping pursue better health outcomes without focusing on body weight. Scientific studies have demonstrated that this approach is superior to tradition weight-loss approaches in achieving physical and mental health outcomes. People are healthier and happier as a result of letting go of their obsession with body weight and focusing instead on the things that are within their control. Their body-image and self-esteem improve, their eating and physical activity behaviours improve, and their physical markers such as blood pressure, cholesterol and blood glucose all improve too. Aren’t they the healthy outcomes we all want?

In the cacophony of anti-fat public health messages the voices of those harmed by these messages and those proposing alternative approaches remain almost unheard. It is high time public health authorities started listening.

Lily O’Hara is a lecturer in Public Health at the School of Health and Sports Sciences at the University of the Sunshine Coast, in Australia.

Guess you didn’t expect me to say that, did you now? Bet you expected an emphatic NO F*CKING WAY!

Well unfortunately it isn’t that simple. Now before you all start writing me hate mail, let me clarify. I in no way advocate the removal of ALL fat kids from their parents. I in no way advocate the removal of most fat kids from their parents. I may, in some cases, advocate for some fat kids to be taken away from their parents. Which ones? The ones that are abused of course.

Child abuse comes in a number of forms - sexual, physical and emotional. Each country, state and often county has its own framework for assessing the risk of immediate harm to a child’s safety and well-being. A lot of child protection departments all over the world are understaffed, underfunded, under-trained and simply unable to cope with the number of notifications, investigations and clients they have to take on. And child protection isn’t a fun job. I haven’t worked as a child protection worker but I have worked closely with those who are. I used to be a foster care placement and support worker and so had the opportunity to see first hand the way the system works (or doesn’t work as the case may be). And it was shocking. I have friends who work in child protection and have done for a long time. I don’t know how they do it. It is a thankless task.

If a child’s safety and wellbeing is at risk, the child needs to be removed and placed somewhere safe while the parents are (hopefully) getting their shit together. Of course this doesn’t always happen. Some kids are not removed even though they are at risk. Some kids are removed when the probably shouldn’t have been. Some kids are put into even riskier situations than the one they were removed from. As I said, the system is pretty much screwed a lot of the time. One of the main problems is the assessment phase. When someone makes a report to protective services, an assessment is made based on the details gathered. Now if someone thinks that making a child eat green beans every night is abuse (be it emotional or physical) then there could be a problem. Just this week there has been a big ruckus in my state because some parents were reported to protective services for smacking their daughter with a wooden spoon. The girl told someone at school, teachers are mandatory reporters here and so there was an investigation and the parents were warned by the police that the wooden spoon style of discipline had to stop. This has caused a huge stir with people saying it happened to them as a child and they turned out ok, others saying there is no reason to use a ‘weapon’ on a child to discipline said child etc etc. Things are not black and white, there are shades of grey. Lots of them. (For the record I don’t agree with using a wooden spoon or any other implement to discipline a child).

Which brings me back to the fat kids. If a parent/carer is shoving food down a child’s throat and physically forcing that child to ingest more food than they wish to, then that is not good. It is in fact, very very bad. And by physically forcing I mean getting the food in their hand, putting it in the child’s mouth and holding their hand there until the child swallows the food. That, in my mind at least, would constitute abuse and I would want that looked into by the authorities. But really, how often do you think that happens? Anyone with a child can tell you it is damn hard to get a kid to eat when they don’t want to. Short of the physical force I just described, there is pretty much no way to get a kid to eat if they REALLY don’t want to. Even anorexics have been known to rip feeding tubes out. And in all the cases of child abuse I have dealt with in my professional life, I have never come across one of force feeding. Starvation, yes. Neglect, yes. But not force feeding. That isn’t to say it doesn’t happen. I am sure it does. But I am pretty sure it doesn’t happen very often. Although I am willing to be corrected…

So unless it can be proven that a parent/carer is abusing the fat child in question, of course the child should not be removed from the care of that adult. Kids, like adults, can be fat for a variety of reasons. If intervention has to be made, it should be in the way of encouraging a HAES approach - not a punitive measure such as removal. Removing kids from their family when they haven’t been abused and there is no other good reason to remove them, well that constitutes abuse in itself as far as I am concerned. If I had been taken from my parents care when I was a kid (a fat kid), I would have been devastated. My pre-existant fears of being abandoned would have been realised (in a round about way) and I would have been a psychological mess as well as being fat. I was not being abused by my parents, I was just fat. And I certainly didn’t neeed child protection marching in and dragging me out of my family home. There are so many systemic issues that need to be addressed - in regards to fresh food and nutrition, fat stigma, access to physical activity and many others - before removing kids from their homes because they are fat. How about focusing on the real social issues rather than indulging in the easy out - fat shaming? Or is that just too hard…

As you may have guessed, I think some serious questions need to be asked regarding experimental gastric banding and some unbiased and factual answers given to those questions rather than banding being considered the ‘magic cure all for obesity’ that it is currently touted as. And I am going to refer to it as ‘experimental gastric banding’ because in reality, that is exactly what it is. Banding hasn’t been around long enough for there to be a comprehensive collection of literature and research as to the long term consequences of the procedure – both physically and psychologically.

Following yesterday’s post featuring Emily’s story, I have received several emails from other ‘band failures’…

M. had her band inserted in late 2005. She weighed approx 110kg at the time (and was healthy and gorgeous at the time, I can say this because I know M personally). Within 2 years she had to have her band replaced as she was continually finding her mouth full of what she referred to as ‘battery acid’. Both before and after the replacement banding, M suffered from vomiting when she ate certain foods, such as bread and her weight has fluctuated greatly. She has lost approx 20-25kg (depending on the fluctuation) and is still in the ‘obese’ category of the BMI. She isn’t sure the side effects have made the whole thing worthwhile – not to mention what it has cost her in private health insurance premiums. M had no psychological screening before either of her bandings and no psychological, nutritional or any other kind of follow up after her procedures.

S. got her band in mid 2008. Like Emily, within months, she too had to have her gall bladder removed after she started having gall bladder attacks provoked by sudden weight loss (15kg in approx 6 weeks). S also has the chronic diarrhoea issue that Emily deals with and hasn’t lost any more weight since the initial 15kg loss (she actually thinks she has regained some but doesn’t weigh herself so isn’t sure). S says she doesn’t experience any feelings of satiety  despite having the band and while certain foods have become stuck and caused her pain, she hasn’t experienced any vomiting at all since getting the band. Her surgeon thought this lack of vomiting showed that S had been eating too much and had stretched the upper pouch of her stomach. If she was following ‘the rules’ apparently she should have vomited at least once in 18 months! Sounds like S sees the same surgeon Emily did! S is still in the ‘morbidly obese’ classification of the BMI and refuses to go back to see her surgeon. S also had no psychological screening prior to her banding let alone afterwards.

C. got her band about 3 years ago. Again, there was no psychological screening or follow up (are we sensing a distinct pattern here?) C lost a considerable amount of weight (approx 35kg) but is still in the ‘morbidly obese’ classification of the BMI and still has active Type 2 diabetes, the very same diabetes that banding is meant to cure! C vomits if she eats solid food and finds the only foods she can keep down are the sorts of food she ‘isn’t meant to eat’.

While I am aware these stories are all anecdotes and secondary evidence, I think they aptly illustrate that there ARE issues with gastric banding and that these issues are being covered up at worst and glossed over at best, by bariatric surgeons who are able to make a quick buck (or 9 thousand) with each band they inflict on their unsuspecting patients. Because in Australia, the vast majority of banding is done through the private sector, it is difficult to get information regarding the banding procedure, how many people are continuing with follow up (either short term or long term), the complication rate and the failure rate (which does exist despite what the surgeons and the manufacturers would have you believe). It boggles my mind that these people can insist that banding recipients are ‘the happiest patients you’ll see’ when even a basic Google search turns up umpteen hits for message boards saturated with posts from people who the band has failed. The main problem here is that the surgeons, the manufacturers and many of the patients don’t see it like that, they don’t see that the band has failed them. They see it as the patient being the failure. If the band doesn’t work, it is the patient’s fault. It is typical victim blaming and it makes me sick. Banding is made out to be the wonderful magic cure-all for fat and it is nothing of the sort. Until we have nonbiased long term research studies it is totally unethical and completely misleading to say that the band is 100% safe and guaranteed to work (if used properly of course). There are no guarantees in this world, including damned gastric banding.

POSSIBLE TRIGGERS - discussion of weight loss surgery, weight based humiliation, bodily functions

My name is Emily and I have been reading your blog for sometime now. I read your post about the banding that is going to be performed on the 30 Aboriginal patients and I wanted to tell you about my experience with lap banding. I know you don’t permit weight loss discussion on your blog but my story isn’t the usual weight loss story so I hope you will read what I have to say and maybe even share it with your readers. If my experience can convince one person not to get the banding done, then I will be happy.

I have been fat most of my life. Mainly since I went through puberty. I was an early developer and I gained boobs, pubic hair and a lot of weight all within a few months of my eleventh birthday. When I was 15 I weighed 78kg. I did lose some weight but I put it all back on (and more) during my early 20s when I was in a bad relationship and I began binge eating. By the time I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 22, I weighed 82kg and at the end of the pregnancy I was 101kg. Between my daughter’s birth and the birth of my youngest child (my second son) 8 years later, I put on a lot more weight and when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest I was 113kg. I was still binge eating even though I had ended the bad relationship and was in a much healthier relationship with my current partner. I tried dieting but of course it never worked, or not for long anyway. You name the diet, I have tried it. I would go up and down within about a 15kg range but always end up bigger than I was when I started. When I weighed in at 136kg I decided, with my doctor’s encouragement, to get a lap band. I only knew a bit about lap bands, I went to one of the information sessions held by a local surgeon and heard all the good things about banding. I got online and found more good things about banding. I was either blind to, or didn’t know where to find, the other side of the story. I had heard about a few people who had bands and who hadn’t lost weight but I was told they had ‘cheated’ by drinking milkshakes all the time and liquidizing their food so they could get it down without vomiting. I couldn’t see the point of that sort of behaviour and believed I would be different. I would be one of the people who lost 30 odd kilograms and was a banding success story like the people on the banding web site.

I had an initial appointment with the surgeon my GP had recommended, an appointment which probably lasted all of 10-15 minutes. He weighed and measured me, asked me a few questions about my health (which other than my weight was very good) and asked me when I wanted to have my band inserted. He said he could do it in a weeks time. I was speechless. I hadn’t expected it to be so easy. I had thought I would have to have some sort of psychological consultation or something. He hadn’t asked about my history with dieting or if I had ever had an eating disorder. He didn’t ask if I was a binge eater or if I ever starved myself or make myself vomit my food back up. He didn’t ask any of that. He simply booked me in for my operation and off I went, thinking my luck had finally come in.

I ended up getting my band inserted three weeks later. I had to restrict myself to a low calorie diet drink called Optifast for two weeks before the surgery. That was difficult and I ‘cheated’ several times by eating a normal evening meal with my family. I had lost about 5kg by the time I arrived at the hospital for my surgery. The banding procedure itself wasn’t a big deal for me but within two months I was back in the same operating theatre having my gall bladder removed. I had lost 15kg all up (including the 5 I lost pre-surgery) and apparently sudden weight loss like that can stir up the gall bladder and cause all sorts of trouble. Apparently this is a common event after banding - an event that was never mentioned to me before the surgery. None of the potential risks were mentioned to me before the surgery. None of them. Not a one. It was all good as far as my doctor and my surgeon were concerned. They said if I didn’t lose weight, it was because I was doing something wrong. If you didn’t cheat, banding would always work.

I guess it depends on what you define as ‘worked’. After I had my gall bladder out I had chronic diarrhoea and now, two years later, I still have chronic diarrhoea - up to 10 times a day (sometimes more), every single day. No matter what I eat or drink (or don’t eat or drink) I have diarrhoea. Apparently this is a not too uncommon side effect of having the gall bladder removed. Again, something no one bothered to warn me about beforehand. I also have a problem with what banding jargon calls a ‘productive burp’. This is when your food won’t go down and it comes back up again. Other people would call it vomiting but they call it a productive burp. It looks bad if you tell patients they might have a vomiting issue once they have their banding done. This productive burping makes going out to eat, or eating in public at all, very difficult. I never know when I am going to bring it all back up. Another thing that happens is food gets stuck and this can be very painful. I have also lost a lot of my hair. This is apparently due to a malabsorbtion issue. My hair comes out in chunks. I had long hair, now I have to wear it short or I look like I have bald spots.

But the weight, have I lost the weight? It would all be worth it if I have lost the weight, right? Sure, I have lost weight. I now weigh in at 126kg. I have lost all of 10kg and 5 of that was before the band was inserted. When my gall bladder was causing me extreme pain, my surgeon removed the fluid from my band and didn’t put anymore in until some months after my gall bladder was removed. Even so, it has been two years since I had the band put in and I have lost all of 10kg. I was seeing my surgeon on a monthly basis there for a while but when I wasn’t losing weight (and had even gained some), he started to say I was obviously cheating. He said I had to be eating junk food, had to be eating more than 3 times a day (they actually recommend skipping breakfast and only having two meals a day, and only if you actually feel hungry), that I must be drinking soft drink and not exercising. He wouldn’t believe me that I don’t eat junk food (well only very very occassionally because of the diarrhoea thing) and I can’t drink soft drink for the same reason. I often have to leave the classroom at work to rush to the toilet, something that doesn’t endear me to my principal at all.  I do exercise but then I did all along. I swim several times a week (and have done since I was a teenager) and I walk daily (we have two big dogs that demand walking) and even do the occassional belly dancing class - but I have to take anti-diarrhoea medication before participating in any of those activities, and generally before even leaving the house. My surgeon simply did not believe this could be the case, that I could be so active etc. He told me straight out that it was MY fault the band wasn’t working. At that point I stopped going to see him. I have no idea how much ‘fill’ (the liquid) is in my band and I actually think the band might have moved because I don’t have a feeling of restriction when I eat. I had mentioned this to him but he said it was because I had stretched the upper pouch by eating too much. I know this isn’t the case because I simply do not eat more than a few spoonfulls of food in one sitting - less than a cup full. I can’t eat more than that because of the diarrhoea and the burping.

So I am officially a banding failure. I believe my health is worse now than it was before I had the band put in and all for a grand loss of 10kg. It is so not worth it. I know I can’t be the only one who banding hasn’t worked for. I know there have to be more people out there with stories like mine. We aren’t included in the studies that proclaim how successful and wonderful and life changing banding is. It is life changing but it changed my life for the worse not the better. I would like to have the band removed but the only person in my area who can do it is the same surgeon who put it in. Fat chance of me going back to see him. So for now, I have to put up with it and I just wish I had never had the stupid thing put in in the first place.

I want to thank Emily for being brave enough to share her story with me and allowing me to post it here on my blog. Emily is more than willing to answer any questions you might have for her but I will not approve any comments denigrating Emily or anything else remotely along those lines.