1) Dick Jauron. The Buffalo Bills will never go anywhere with this man at the helm. Never.

2) Brad Childress. Sure is a good thing he brought in Brett Favre, who can manage a game better while he’s sleeping than Childress ever will be able to with even two weeks to prepare, to the Vikings. Now Peterson might be able to go deep into the playoffs.

3) Eric Mangini. Brett Favre almost saved him last year, but his arm fell apart. To see what would have happened to the New York Jets last year without Favre saving his ass, see the Cleveland Browns this year.

4) Mike Holmgren. Yeah, I know he is not a coach right now. But he soon will be. And it will quickly become apparent why he is on this list when he comes back. The man does not know clocks exist. He is horrible. He was another coach saved by the talent on his team – often by Favre – who won in spite of him when they did win. With a good coach at the helm, the Steelers have one less Super Bowl and the Seahawks have one. You can’t argue it objectively, so don’t try.

5) Andy Reid. Worst play caller in the league. The Philadelphia Eagles would have made at least three Super Bowls in the past ten years if they’d had a coach who was very good. And won at least two of those.

I don’t think I need to mention Jim Zorn, who won’t be a head coach again after the Redskins send him packing.

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Even a rich boy like JFK would be sickened by the state of MLB.

Oh, and the game is not over yet, but this prediction is in pretty good shape to stand up, as the New York Billionaires are winning 7-3 in the 8th inning in their new billion-and-a-half-dollar-plus stadium. And this was my favorite team back when I gave a crap. Well, second favorite, after Montreal, which baseball took away.

Anyway, again, who cares? It’s just baseball.

Strange, but true, the biggest NFL game this weekend is the Tennessee Titans at the 49ers. If the Titans, who went 13-3 last year can get on a roll, they might make the playoffs, and then lookout. If the Niners win, they are back in the hunt for the NFC West title. Whoever loses is done for the season. Mark my words.

Of course, I won’t see it. I’ll be watching the Dallas Cowboys lose to the Philadelphia Eagles since the Buffalo Bills have this week off and I won’t get to see Terrible Omens suck donkey gonads for yet another week.

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Jon Gruden is not a bad announcer by any stretch of the imagination. At least that statement is true when you consider the absolute verbal defecation we’ve recently had to endure thanks to the likes of Dennis Miller, Joe Theismann and *shudder* Tony Kornholer, who came into the booth and actually was worse than Theismann – something I did not even think could be possible. Having the two of them on at the same time was the Dark Age of MNF for me, as I would watch the games while listening to something more relaxing, like Bison BC.

Someone, however, has to tell Gruden that, even if he is simply and utterly amazed at the things that happen in a football game – a state that seems impossible given his coaching career in the NFL – he needs to stop with the exclamation, “Unbelievable!” every time there is a good play on the field, or a bad or good call by a coach.

"Believe in all things equally and prosper." - Dalai Lama to Jon Gruden, circa today.

During last night’s MNF game in New Orleans, I actually became very annoyed at Gruden because whenever something good or bad, but slightly more good or more bad than is normal, occurred, he just could not help letting us all know that what he was seeing occur was “Unbelievable!” to him. How can that be?

The obvious answer is that these things that happen on the field are not unbelievable in any sense of the word. In fact, many happen every single damned game. What is unbelievable is that no one within the network has the balls to tell him just that. Otherwise, his asinine exclamatories will soon render him just another in a growing line of Monday Night Verbal Eunichs.

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Saints coach Sean Payton shows what he does to people who spell his last name Peyton.

One dropped pass by Michael Jenkins that killed a drive and led to a missed field goal by Jason Elam, coupled with a dropped touchdown pass in the end zone by Roddy White, and we could very well have witnessed an upset. As it was, the difference in the game could also be attributed to a pick-six by Saints defender Jabari Greer late in the 3rd quarter; the Saints’ third touchdown of that period.

Down 24-35, Pierre Thomas fumbled on the Saints drive that should have killed the clock, leading to a Falcons field goal that covered the spread. Then Atlanta recovered an onside kick, but Darren Sharper intercepted Matt Ryan’s desperation pass with a few seconds left, sealing the win.

In the next three weeks, the Saints play Carolina, St. Louis and Tampa Bay. Considering that those three teams have combined for a 4-18 record thus far in 2009, we are likely headed for a 10-0 Saints team at home on Monday night, facing the New England Patriots. I can’t wait.

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Finally! A reason to enjoy the Raiders!

1) Waiver schedule. Still a 2-day waiting period before a dropped player becomes available. However, those players will now become available, if eligible (due to the 2-day wait), on Wednesday, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. New player eligible will become available for pickup at 2:01 a.m. EST on each of those days. I can’t change the time. Waiver wire approval will still be on a Worst-to-First basis (Win % for season, Points Scored for season and the Points Scored in previous week will be the determining factors.) For example, if two of us are going for the same player on the waiver wire, the one with the fewest wins on the season will get him. If we are tied at fewest wins, then the one with the fewest points scored for the season will get him, etc…

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Wes Welker: Like White on Rice.

In yet another diss to his former worshippers in Green Bay, The Brett Favre spoke out about how much he hates The Place That Loved Him. Don’t let the kids read this Brett Favre interview transcript from a beloved collegue, Osama Bin Gigeroff, from whom I often steal pictures.

Oakland Raiders assistant coach Randy Hanson is participating in a lawyer-induced state of silence after reports that Raiders Head Coach Tom Cable broke his jaw in a fight during which sources say Cable had to be pulled off Hanson twice. Hanson, considered to be an Al Davis snitch by players and fellow coaches, likely deserved his beating, but Napa police have reopened their investigation of the case anyways, as they wait for their wine to breathe.

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The fool carried a loaded, concealed and unregistered pistol down his pants and into a Manhattan nightclub. While trying to reach down and scratch his bell end, he mistakenly pulled the trigger of the gun. Missing his shaft and main artery, his luck ended there, and the bullet sped into his speedy, soon-to-be spread-eagled legs. Soon thereafter, the Giants released their former star.

Plaxico Burress: Idiot - Read all about it...

“OK, turn on the disco ball, turn down the lights and put on your ABBA outfits:

You are the dancing queen, acting mean, Number Seventeen
Dancing queen, see yourself on the Jumbo Screen
You can dance, you can jive, doing the crime of your life
Make the scene, with a round in the magazine.

Dancing queen, wonderin’ who your wife’s been seein’,
A cell serene, you can play for the Mean Machine.
You can lie, you can plead, serving the time of your life
Shower steam, hear him screaming for Vaseline.”

Nice.

Will Plax come back after his stint in the clink? Not likely, says an NFL GM who knows him. He is simply too lazy and undisciplined to keep in shape. I’m betting he doesn’t come back because he’ll finally be able to get the man-love he’s always craved, but could never realize in an NFL locker room.

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It seems that a small rotator cuff tear in his surgically repaired shoulder did not bother Favre as much as he thought it would over the past couple weeks since he announced his third retirement from the NFL. With his shoulder working better than anticipated, he decided once again to unretire and play the sport he loves.

Brett Favre will look better in Vikings purple. It matches his skin better. (AP Photo/Ben Curtis)

The real questions, of course, are:
What does a healthy Favre brings to the field for the Vikings?
Can Brett Favre last the whole season?
If not, do his backups, Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels have what it takes to finish the job?
Do Jackson and Rosenfels even want to play for Coach Brad Childress anymore, after the waffling he has put them through during the Brett Favre saga?
How will this affect the Yardstick at FanYard for the Vikings next preseason game?

Rotoworld is reporting that Brett Favre will start for the Vikings in their next preseason game, which is in the Metrodome against Kansas City.

Pick the result of the Chiefs vs. Vikings.

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Brett Favre told the Minnesota Vikings that he will remain retired. He had been talking to the NFL organization about possibly coming out of retirement to play in the NFC North again. The Vikings seen to just be missing the quarterback piece as they have a strong defence and one of the premier running backs in the league in Adrian Peterson. It now it looks like the starting quarterback position will be filled by either Sage Rosenfels or Tarvaris Jackson. That is if the Vikings don’t seek Michael Vick, who has just been reinstated by the NFL.

Vick will now head much of the talk as everyone is curious as to where he will end up. So who will take a chance on Vick? Over a dozen teams have stated they will not pursue the former Atlanta Falcons star. Each organization the possibility of losing sponsors and season ticket holders in a protest of Vick’s past. Is this possibility worth it for a team to gain what would most likely be a backup quarterback? I think the only way Vick plays in the NFL this season is if a team is looking to fill a backup quarterback position due to an injury during training camp.

This is a message to the NFL from the people to whom Mike Vick owes a crapload of money!

Of course all the NFL preseason signing, trades and injuries will impact the odds in each of the futures markets. One of the best bets I made in a sportsbook was on NFL Futures. Ironically it involved Mike Vick. Just prior to the 2007 NFL season, when it was announced that Vick would miss the season I bet Atlanta to go under 7 ½ wins at 1-1 odds. Shortly after I made this bet the line went to 6 ½ wins. I put a bit of money, about half of my previous bet, on the over 6 ½ at odds slightly above even. I was hoping for the Falcons to hit seven win and I would win both my bets. They only won four games that season so I did make a nice profit.

It wasn’t until almost a year after this that I discovered betting exchanges. On a betting exchange it makes this type of betting easier, as this would be considered trading. Essentially trading is betting both sides to try to guarantee a profit no matter the outcome.

To learn more about Betting Exchanges check out http://thebettingadvantage.com/betting-exchanges/

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For people who have no life of their own, and who hang on every celebrity gossip nonsense like it is coming from the mouth of a prophet, I suppose a break from the meaningless drivel they consume on a daily basis must have been nice. There is probably a psychiatric name for people who are addicted to this shiite the rest of us only see at the supermarket checkouts, but I don’t care enough to look it up. I just wish it were gone. Po’ me.

Mind your own business, why don't you! Looking great, though.

I was just surprised at how many of these crappy, famous-people, no-purpose blogs came up when I checked Google Blogs today to see what was being written by people who, for the most part, aren’t getting paid for their opinions on Vick. It was disheartening to see that these online rags had a place in the first page, even though they have zero connection to the topic. That’s what search engine logarithms and analytics do, I guess. Go with what is popular first. In this case, brainless gossip.

This is the only one of these blogs that I checked actually stuck to the topic of Hollywood gossip.

There. Rant done.

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