@FalconSays

Salesforce Trailblazer

2018-06-15T17:21:00.000-07:00

I am having a really great time diving right into Trailhead by Salesforce. I am still driving taxi in Las Vegas and a while back, one of my passengers told me about these online, free courses. I had heard of Salesforce over the years, but never took the time to learn how much they have evolved as a company and a force for good. I finally took a chance, just the other day, to check it out on my cell phone, not knowing huch much I'd really be able to get accomplished on my phone, but to my surprise, I have blazed through many modules, 11 badges, 2 trails and climbed the ranks to the next level beyond the 3,000 point mark to Explorer; all in just a couple days, so far, with only my iphone 5s.

My taxi work day is over and I am at this cool coffee shop, Grouchy John's, on the way home and am about to tackle my first hands-on projects with Trailhead. For these next challenges, I took a dose of reality and figured it would have to be done on the larger screen. I honestly didn't even look at any of the hands-on projects via my phone, just the relatively simple modules of general education of Salesforce, Trailhead, writing, presentation, equality, diversity and so on. While on my laptop here at the coffee shop, taking advantage of their wifi, I couldn't resist perusing a few old, familiar bookmarks clinging to my browser. I noticed I hadn't posted on my blog since November of 2017. It is both interesting to me that it has been about six months since I shut off my wifi at home, just to spare myself another bill and a bit of a glim reality at the same time, realizing how much time has gone by while I have been busy struggling to make ends meet driving taxi here in Las Vegas as a living.

Why didn't I dive into Trailhead sooner, months ago, when that passenger gently nudged me to start the next adventure of my life? But there is no point in dwelling on the past. I am here now. I am enjoying Trailhead. I know it is both an industry game changer and a life changer for me, not just monetarily, but I am going to be meeting some pretty interesting and incredible people along this journey. This blog post is enough of a little time waster for now. I am anxious to get back to my studies.

Scary Ride for this Las Vegas Cabbie

2017-11-21T02:10:00.000-08:00

Just a placeholder for now. Too tired. Will type blog post after some sleep. But feel free to watch the video for the story.

Trust your gut

2017-10-24T15:10:00.000-07:00

It is a horrible feeling to live with regret. I regret not calling the police last night when I heard two men fighting in a parking lot. The incident escalated to medical emergency with an ambulance driving one of the men to a hospital and it all possibly could have been halted before it escalated, had I trusted my gut and called for help. I sincerely hope the person will be okay.

The other night I had another occasion to trust my gut and I did listen to that quiet, inner voice. I picked up one guy from a strip club, last Saturday night, the 21st of October; the date is relevant because of our conversation.

Guy "Were you driving the night of the shooting?"

Me "No, I was off work, but I was on the strip."

Guy "I went to Mandalay today. I cannot believe they have still not replaced the shot-out windows!"

Me "Uhhhh, the windows were replaced about a week, or less, after the shooting."

Guy, extremely agitated now "I'LL SHOW YOU THE DAMN PICTURES! I HAVE PICTURES ON MY PHONE! I WAS JUST THERE TODAY!"

At this point, I knew it was just myself and some irrational lunatic in my cab or he's confused on drugs or both, but whatever is influencing his behavior, it's not looking so good for both of us in this cab right now. I don't want to aggravate an already irate man that can over-power me, so I play it cool.

Me "Oh! Wow, you're right, I wasn't there today, sorry. I believe you that you have pictures. So, what does it look like today? Are the windows just out of the frame, like maybe they're installing new ones again? I noticed the other new windows were not an exact match of the rest, like they were maybe from a different manufacturer."

Guy "NO! I'm telling you, the windows were shattered and shot-out with still broken glass around the edges!"

Uhg, he's still being quite illogical, so I better play it even more cool, so I change the subject.

Me "You mentioned you're at Holiday Inn on Koval, right behind the High Roller, right?"

Guy "NO! I'm behind the Wynn."

I was just trying to say anything to change the subject but now he even wants to argue with me about where he's staying. I just want to get this crazy guy dropped off and never see him again. We arrive at the Holiday Inn and it's a large complex. I do not like driving to their door at night and especially when they are this cuckoo crazy on drugs (or something, I honestly did not know his problem).

Guy "Turn here and go all the way to the back. My building is in the back."

Legally, I don't have to. If we ever feel in danger, we can drop them at the front, in the light and where witnesses are and tell them to walk from there. Heck, legally, if we ever feel in danger, we can pull over anywhere we want and kick them out of the cab! I did an immediate gut-check, as he was telling me where to go. I turned around and watched him speaking to me. It may seem weird but I don't care what anyone else thinks, this is what works for me; I needed to see his face and feel his energy as he was telling me what to do so I could sense his intention. My gut feeling was that his intention was perfectly harmless and he truly just wanted door to door service so he wouldn't have to walk too far; so I drove to the back. It worked out just fine, but there was one more crazy outburst from him and I snapped a little bit because I was already on edge with this character. He wanted me to give him $15 back from the $20 he handed me.

Me "Uh, but then you're only paying me $5 for the cab ride? That's not cool. I got you home safe and we visited and now you only want to pay me five bucks? What's up with that sh*t?"

Guy "HEY! I paid you on my credit card and I'm giving you a $5 tip!"

Me "You never even pulled out your card, Sir! Look at the screen (pointing to the credit card machine), you didn't pay me anything yet. What are you trying to pull?"

Guy "My CARD IS ON MY PHONE! I PAID ALREADY and I'm just trying to give you a cash tip! Then his face softened. . . . Ohhh, this isn't uber, SORRY! Here, keep the whole $20. You're cool and I feel like crap now. Bye."

He got out and walked away and that was that. I should have realized he thought I was an uber, we get that sometimes, but I was so distracted from his odd behavior before. So it worked out fine and I got a better tip than anticipated from the somewhat unnerving ride. Man, I really hate rides like that!

Taxi passenger's celebrity story

2017-10-19T02:58:00.001-07:00

Gene Hackman image via: http://www.indiewire.com/2012/04/in-defense-of-unforgivens-little-bill-daggett-233305/

One of my favorite aspects of this job, being a cabbie, is that you never know what you're going to get. Everyday and every ride is different. I picked up a nice couple at the airport. As we start on our way, the gentleman tells me he used to be a cabbie here in Vegas. We had a great time visiting as he was telling me a few stories about back in his day. Now-a-days, he and his girlfriend travel a lot; but they both have family here so it was about time for a visit. Since I dropped them off downtown, which is quite a distance from the airport, I decided to try my luck finding a pick-up nearby. Downtown did not disappoint.

The first hotel I rolled my taxi near, immediately whistled for me to pull in to scoop up a fare. A nice, older couple climbed in and we started on our way. I have a few one-liners to break the ice. I asked them if there was a special occasion that brings them to Vegas. The lady mentioned that it's just a get-away and they love coming to Vegas. Then the gentleman chimed in that they are from Canada and used to own and run their own hotel. Then they both had big smiles on their faces and went back and forth, taking turns to tell me their fantastic celebrity story!

Their hotel, which they have since sold, has been in a couple of movies; Viva Las Nowhere and The Unforgiven. Gene Hackman was staying at their neighbor's place with his two Doberman Pincer guard dogs. The remote area, no one locks their doors and they even leave keys in their cars in case any neighbor happens to need to barrow a car; ah Canadians, ha ha.

So, one day, while Gene Hackman was still shacked up at their neighbor's place with his two dogs, my folks' son just walks into the neighbor's house, as is custom, and he is swiftly greeted by two Doberman Pincer guard dogs, oh, and the story gets even better! Down the stairs, here comes Gene Hackman with a shotgun pointed at their son! They were laughing telling me this story and both admitted, it's sure funny now, but at the time it was quite scary for their son. Oh, and the story doesn't even end there! Soon thereafter, another day, another neighbor just walks right in to where Gene Hackman is staying and is swiftly greeted by the dogs and Mr. Hackman and a shotgun again. We were all laughing so much, I didn't even think to ask them while I had them captive in my taxi, why in the world didn't Gene Hackman just lock the door?

We arrived and I told them they have better stories than a Las Vegas cabbie! And the wife said, "Oh yeah! We didn't even ask you about any of your stories. Next time!"

People

2017-10-17T02:42:00.001-07:00

This morning I awoke thinking of something a passenger told me, "It's simple, Karen. It's all about people. You love people, right? Even when we don't want to be around people, it's the people that put a roof over your head, food in the fridge, things we use everyday that were invented or made by people." The way he put it, so simple, it made me appreciate my job all the more.

We've all had bad days, but it takes discipline to retrain your mind to always strive to find the positive. I firmly believe that perception is reality and we each have our own unique perspective or perception of reality, so when we choose to see positive over negative I believe that engages our power to literally change our world, no matter how cliche that may seem.

My first ride of the evening was a couple of very negative ladies. The type of constant negative, nasaly talk that makes you want to shout at them, "ENOUGH ALREADY!" Of all the crap I've been through, these two just had to be my first ride? They're visiting Las Vegas on work's dime, yet they're already bitching and moaning. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to speak up. So, I tried to paint a silver lining for them to get the hint, listen to me, shine some light on how negative they were sounding.

Me "That's quite a few days you're staying with us. So you must have some wriggle-room for fun and not all work."

Ladies "Noooo, it's aaaaallll worrrrk."

Lady 1 to Lady 2 "Uhg, the first meeting is at 8 a.m. By the end of the day I'm going to want to kill myself."

Okay, I'm no goodie-two-shoes and I can potty-mouth with the best of them, but that's one expression that I won't use. It's not my place to tell people how to be; you're in charge of your own mind-body-spirit and I don't want to come across as self righteous, but that expression is so unsettling and hurtful to just toss out to the universe. Besides the shock of that expression alone, just how did these ladies allow themselves to get in such a pissy mood that they cannot even appreciate a) they are employed, b) they are traveling on work's dime, c) they are not hearing how they are coming across or don't care and d) Their morning meeting was over 12 hours away. They were like a couple of Succubusses in my taxi cab and I could not wait to get them out of my little perception of reality for me to move on to better energy.

I dropped off the Succubus twins and headed back to the airport. It is my favorite place to pick up because I get to be a part of the beginning of their Vegas trip, wether it be work or play and I especially love it when it is their first time in Las Vegas! I feel honored and blessed to be a part of people's lives from all over the world, nearly everyday.

The young gentleman I picked up was here for work, he was exhausted, it was his sixth business trip in four weeks and he has a new baby at home that he's missing; but his attitude is GOLD. He said, "But I'm crushing it. Work hard-play hard and Im doing this for my family!" He was so tired. I could see it in his face and the way he could barely speak, but overall, he is able to see the good in his situation rather than dwell on anything negative.

Encouraged by the young man that just pumped fresh, positive vibes back into my taxi cab, I went back to the airport. I picked up three very nice, fun people that had a Vegas virgin with them. We drove along the strip to show her all the lights of the casinos and the thousands of people milling about with their smiling faces. She was so excited to finally see Las Vegas, she could not decide where she wanted to go first after checking in to her hotel. I told her, "I live here and still can't do it all! You'll be back!"

Helping Others

2015-01-15T16:53:00.000-08:00

The other day I managed to thoroughly embarrass myself, but not in a funny way. I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was a bit scared and really physically shaken up.

For a little over a year, I have been going to the plasma bank. It gets me extra money per month and hospitals are always in need of plasma to aid with various human illnesses. Which is ironic, now that I think about it as I am typing this. Here I was doing my small part in my little corner of the world to help others and that day, nary a soul would help me.

I had just finished at the plasma bank and walking out the door when I saw the bus at the street. I ran as fast as I could to catch that bus. I had to run across the parking lot and across a major intersection. I got to the pedestrian crosswalk and light. The bus and I were neck and neck. The light turned green so I ran again, but the bus was pulling out ahead of me. Huffing and heaving, I made it to the bus because there was a line of others getting on. My turn, I made it on and made my way to a seat near the back.

Riding along for a couple blocks I felt fine, then some very odd, ill feeling started taking over me, and fast. I was getting tunnel vision, my hands and feet were going numb, then my arms and legs and I could tell all my blood was rushing to my vital organs to my core only. I was about to black-out any moment. All I could think, while I still had consciousness, was to get off the bus at the next stop. So, as soon as the bus pulled over, I got up, nearly fell over, wobbled my way to the bus' back door and stepped off.

At this point of the journey I was near the famous Las Vegas Strip. The reason for pointing that out will be clear in a moment. As soon as I was on the sidewalk away from the bus, WHAM, I slammed down to the pavement like a ton of bricks. Yup, right there, near the Las Vegas Strip. In a moment, I roused consciousness again and knew exactly where I was. I wasn't on the strip, but near enough where there were plenty of passers-by and motorists that all had a front row seat to my crisis, but no one stopped to help me. I know I looked drunk and disorderly, and considering where I was, I would have assumed the same.

Over exerting myself, running as fast and hard as I could, at 45 years of age, to catch that bus must have been too much just after giving plasma. I pulled myself up from the sidewalk and even then, as I was slowly pulling my legs up under myself and trying to use my arms to hoist my body up, I was wobbling and very weak.

People were just walking by me! I mumbled, "I'm not drunk, I'm sick." And no one cared, no one asked how I am, no one offered to help. I know it looked ridiculous. What if I was having a stroke? Even in that moment, I thought to myself, 'Well, would I stop to help this?' And I honestly don't know that I would, because that's how drunk I looked. I finally managed to get myself upright, walked a few steps and uncontrollably, WHAM, I blacked out again. My body simply could not move upright and forward . . . still too much after giving plasma.

Only a moment later, I was roused again, and all I could do was crawl, yes I literally crawled on the Las Vegas sidewalk. I was humiliated but I had to try and get to the nearest restroom, so I headed to the nearest hotel I could see. A few feet of crawling and I felt I could chance standing and walking again. I got up, took a few steps and started getting tunnel vision again and felt myself blacking out and my knees buckling under me. I was going down again and I reached out to the pole I could just barely see near me as my vision was going.

Leaning on that pull a few moments and breathing heavily, people still were just passing me by. Some cars were honking at me. Who knows if they were honking at the people as if to say, "Hey you a**holes, help that lady!" Or honking at me as if to say, "Hey loser!" I just know I was terribly embarrassed and sore and scared. I finally made it to a restroom. I sat in a stall, resting my head in my hands for what seemed like an hour until my body finally felt strong enough to carry on home.

I have been back to give more plasma since. Lesson of that day: Never run immediately after giving plasma. And, next time I see someone on the street in need of a helping hand, I am pretty sure I will stop and at least ask them what is going on.

Venison, chilled-rare

2012-11-13T21:26:00.000-08:00

Four young bucks walk onto a boat, the Skipper says, . .

Sounds like an opening to a joke, yet this tall story of the crossing paths of these deer and humans' journeys were very real on the frigged northern seas.

Imagine spotting some rather peculiar surface-swimmers only to see upon arrival they are desperately stressed four-legged critters of the hooved kind.

Knowing the people were their only salvation, intelligently or instinctively here is picture proof of the four that didn't get away that day. They either learned this swimming lesson the hard way or learned humans will pick them up and give them a free ride.

Let's hope the next time these wandering young bucks decide to go skinny dipping, they don't climb aboard the local mobile butcher barge!

Exhausted, they swam directly to the boat.

Soaked and Shivering, they rested.

Saying goodbye & maybe 'Thank You' too.

The last, weakest, needed a little extra help.

How Hot am I?

2012-07-27T20:09:00.005-07:00

43 going on 23

(update-I changed the thermostat) 105 degrees in Las Vegas today and I get to not only work on my car in the blasted heat, but ride the bike down to the auto-part store. Emphasis on 'down' because on the way home is a low grade uphill, resulting in momentary heat-stroke scare. Mind over matter, this girl gets the job done.

I survived the nausea with about a 30 second rest on the couch when I got home to the air-conditioner before I went right back out to wrench on the car. I couldn't resist taking pics of this 40+ year old chick thinking she's all that and a bag of bolts.

Posey McPoserson

I'm waiting for the liquid wrench to loosen the bolts on the thermostat housing so I can crank that bad boy off and replace the new thermo. I found a great video tutorial on youtube, so I figured I'd save myself a few bucks from the shop and tackle job myself.

What have I gotten myself into? So far, the biggest pain hasn't even been the heat and the uphill bike ride. It's a toss-up between the bolts being stuck and me having to revive my overdue-underused muscles and the pesky flies that are ravaging my stinky-sweaty self! Damn! Shoo flies go away!

Too Manly

What a way to update my blog. Things have been so crazy lately and haven't been wanting to blog because I don't want to just vent about 'oh wo-iz me' negative stuff. I haven't done my live podcast radio broadcast in about a month, I haven't updated my newsletter and I have been busy working, there have just been some snags in the road along the way and well, it's some of those curve-balls that life throws your way to test your strength and character I guess.

SHEESH! These flies are CRAZY! What the heck am I going to do? I don't want to go in the house because I have a brand new battery charger hooked up charging my battery and I don't want to chance someone coming along and taking the charger and my battery. I'll take a moment to google fly repellent while sitting outside all sweaty ;-) Excellent, basil and I have some growing in my kitchen herb garden, voila.

Whatevz

Back to work. The Police, 'Walking on the Moon' blasting in my ear buds. I'm in good company. Now, The Cure, 'Just Like Heaven'. Well, it's a great song, but it's not just like heaven working on the car. Anyone need some light mechanic work done? I'm for hire . . .

What a Geek

Dire Straits, 'Sultans of Swing' only one of the BEST songs of all time! Gotta love Pandora Radio. Oh, and by the way, yes, the fly trick worked - they are no longer feeding off my odoriferous flesh. On that note, signing off.

update:
I finally managed to loosen the bolts to remove the old thermostat housing after soaking the bolts with liquid wrench for 2 days! I didn't want to chance cranking on them too hard and breaking the bolt head off. That would be a much worse scenario than simply changing a part.

old thermostat
a part that is NOT supposed to be split in two

new thermostat

Take a Break

2012-05-09T20:20:00.000-07:00

Stop and smell the . . . bird droppings?

Psychic Medium

2012-02-23T17:19:00.006-08:00

[original 2012/edited/updated 2020]

[2012]Last weekend my friends and I, 14 of us, took a road trip to southern California for a Joel Bauer seminar. They told me they had an extra seat in the car and it was free. I had not heard of Joel Bauer before but game to tag along.

One of the first things Joel Bauer told us was absolutely no networking on his time! We were there for his seminar and if he caught anyone trying to 'sell' or pitch to anyone in the halls on breaks they would be asked to leave and not return. Not so much to be selfish, but Joel Bauer made it very clear to us and wanted to teach us, "Never sell or use the words sell or sale. Never pitch to anyone, ever. Listen first. Seek first to understand, then be understood. Connect with people on an emotional level, listen to what they need and maybe you just happen to have something to help them. Never sell." here is a connection between all of this and the post title.

We arrived Friday evening around midnight, at a different hotel than the seminar I need to point out. I had not seen the seminar room, the hotel, nothing to do with the weekend yet. I was tired and hit the bed for an early morning breakfast call. That night I dreamed of the seminar. I saw a young blond lady standing up front with her eyes closed and doing something with her arms. I saw a young man standing up front with his eyes open and I saw a third person, another man in such a manner that it appeared in my dream he was running the show. I awoke remembering the details thinking I must have imagined what the seminar would be like.

You can see where I am going with this. A few hours into the seminar that Saturday, the scenario I dreamed about unfolded before my eyes, detail for detail. The woman's face, her clothes, the young man and of course, Joel Bauer that I saw and had never met before. I was struck emotionally, but not for reasons you may think.

I was happy to have received yet another confirmation. This has been happening to me my whole life and I have stifled it because the few times I had come out before I was called crazy and made to feel so weird I just figured it would be easier and wiser to live the conventional life and work the 'regular' jobs. But one thing this seminar finally taught me was to live your dreams no matter what! Love life and live it to the fullest.

I can't count how many times I have dreamed images that happen later. And more, I see people and animals that have passed, I see, hear, smell, feel their touch and sense their energy. All this has been happening to me since my first memories of three years young. I still remember the first time I spoke aloud about it to my family and how they laughed at me. That was a long time ago and now more people are accepting of the subject. Being a psychic medium by profession was not a dream of mine per se, but I am getting ready to fold it into my Reiki work as an added offered service. All I really ever wanted to do with it was help people by being used as a medium to relay messages. Now that I am learning more about Reiki and studying energy in general, quantum physics, etc, I just feel so driven to share more openly my experiences. I get so excited knowing there are more surprises on the way.

My first accidental reading was just the other day. Remember, I had been having experiences my whole life, but never read someone right to their face before. Back to work at the office, a very nice young lady decided to open to me about how just three weeks ago her friend committed suicide. As she was telling me, I told her, "It's John, right?" And she said, "Yes, John, Johnny." Then as she was staring at me I said, "He has brunette hair, mustache, he's about 5'9-5'10, not quite 6 but definitely not a short guy, he's trim-fit-athletic, always wears blue jeans" And she said I described him to a T. I should mention, I did not 'see him in the office.' I saw him with my mind's eye. I won't even say in my mind, because the only way I can describe it is that he was 'standing' behind me, in the area surrounding me, outside of my body, that is in my mind's eye. It is so difficult to explain, but I saw him clear as day.

I told her I was very sorry for her friend but that he is okay and he was connecting with us because he knows you are talking about him. This part I am understanding more as I study energy more and quantum physics. Her speaking about him and myself being naturally open to mediumship acted like a lightning rod, for lack of a better phrase, and he dialed into my frequency like a radio for me to convey messages to her. While many people have heard it described the other way around, that the medium raises their vibration and tunes in to the other side like dialing a radio, I am still learning how to work with source consciousness energy in collaboration. The majority of my experiences to date have been spontaneous and mostly out of my control until I am in the moment, able to quickly adjust, find my footing and cooperate with the unfolding of the event(s).

I told her that I have seen, feel, hear, smell, sense, dream of, etc, since I was three and I am not going to hide it any longer. I asked her if she thinks I am crazy and she said no. I told her all I want to do is help people understand that they are all around us; I see them all the time and it has made me feel a little weird to just not honor that part of myself.

She said the family is so confused because no one can figure out why he did it. He seemed fine. He talked to his sister just an hour before he killed himself. She didn't tell me how he was found, she just said 'he hung himself at his girlfriend's place. So, I said, "Well, it's different, he's not ready to share that with me now, but it's funny how he is standing. He is behind me, like in my head behind me, waaaaaay off in the distance and just waiting, like he's shy."

She told me, "YES! He's very shy!" I told her, 'Okay, that is exactly what I am feeling. I am totally feeling his energy. See, we don't change our personality when we cross over. He is okay, he is not in the same pain he was in. whatever drove him to commit suicide, but he is... then BAM, all of a sudden I burst into tears with an overwhelming wave of sadness over me. He was projecting his sad energy onto me and I couldn't stop the emotional overload for just a minute, then it passed like an energy wave. I'll never forget it. I can still recall it now; not so much the actual overwhelming sadness, but I can recall how another being projected his energy upon my being. It is very difficult to explain, but when you get used to this happening you can tell what is your own signature frequency and what is a separate entity. It is quite bizarre.

He heard what we were saying and he was acknowledging to me the pain he was in to commit suicide, but now he is okay. Then he revealed to me, telepathically, that he is sorry for causing hurt (that's a no brainer, we all know that) but he's not ready to reveal exactly why he did it.'

Then I told her, "I have to say exactly how I see him, it is significant to mention some how. He is standing in a field, like an unkempt yard, like a HUGE BACKYARD, like I see more land than trees and not your normal house yard. I don't see fences at all, just a plot of land." And she said, "YES! He hung himself in the back yard and it was just a large unkempt plot of land, open field with just a couple trees.

So, I assured her I did NOT see him hanging, rather, standing in the distance still, his way of letting me know he is not yet ready to come forward and just confirming his personality that he is shy as she remembers him and he wanted to show me where he was, for him it is another confirmation from him to her that this was really happening and he was connecting with us.

I told her to tell his sister in NY that he is okay, he is not suffering emotionally but that he is still confused because obviously, committing suicide does not 'technically' solve the problem, although he may be out of pain, he still has a lesson to learn, just on that side of life's plane now. He knows he is dead, he knows it is his fault, but he is not sure how to proceed.

This is what I want to do, help people understand. Life goes on, just in a different way.

I told her, "I have to keep saying his head or face is square, I don't know why, but I am seeing square and hearing square square square." I have to talk about the "square, square, square" part. He was telepathically projecting that word into my head. But beyond telepathically telling me, I received the word as a feeling too, hitting the side of my skull, as if tapping my head with my palm, "square, square, square". Just another oddity about the experience I'll never forget.

Then she showed me his facebook picture and sure enough, he had a square top hair cut. The pic she showed me was of he and his sister and I told her the man I am seeing looks a LOT like his sister and she kina has more of a square shape face.

So, then I asked her, "Is it possible I am seeing his dad? Could their dad have passed and is coming to me because the man I am seeing looks a little older than that facebook picture, like he could have been a young dad?" She said, "Oh my gosh! That is an old facebook pic and he was a bit older just three weeks ago when he committed suicide."

I am still hoping he may explain to me what happened because the family has no idea, but the experienced side of me is telling me that he only came to me at the office because she was talking about him and has a strong emotional energy connection to him to draw him near. All I know for sure now, is he is okay. I hope the family will be okay soon and not grieve long.

[edit/update Aug 2020, to date, I never saw Johnny again, nor have I tried]

By the way, I chose that particular blog post pic because that is how I feel when I am sensing others. I feel a fog around me and that I am literally holding the universe and others' energy in my hands, all with a glow swirling about.

NYE 2012

2012-01-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

Just a quickie post placemarker. Still editing video footage of New Year's Eve on Las Vegas Strip.

Can't wait to see how it all turns out. Off to take daughter shopping, as promised, then back to play mix n splice and more html nightmares. :-)

We Love You Missy!

2009-03-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

Here's our dear Missy kitty.

She is on her last leg. She's been hanging out in the bathroom, resting by the window for the last 2 days and I haven't seen her leave the bathroom to eat or drink. Pretty sure she's on her way to spirit.

She's at least 16-18yrs old, maybe older. No one is exactly sure her age. My daughter and I adopted her 6 years ago from a friend, whom adopted her and they had her about 8 years and they adopted her from someone that had her already....
She wouldn't let me clean up the little goobers from the corners of her eyes, so I just let it be.
She's peaceful and purring. (update: Missy is at least eating and drinking now. We put food and water in the bathroom for her...she still has not stepped foot out of the bathroom.)
(there is no continue)

Model loses both her hands and feet.

2009-01-22T10:41:00.000-08:00

How incredibly sad!
(update: the poor girl died)

Life throws us all kinds of tests and sometimes the tests are so bizarre and seemingly from way out of left field that we boggle at how it relates to us, let alone get through the tragedy.

Here is a test hitting so close to home for one young beautiful girl. The irony and direct slap in the face can only leave her thankful for her life, and, that it didn't actually effect her 'face'.
She is lucky to be alive.
This beautiful Brazilian model has lost both her HANDS and FEET to a severe urinary infection! With strong will, a positive attitude and support from friends and family, I am sure she will be up on her feet and applauding her recovery.
From Foxnews.com, read full story here.

Late Halloween post and Family Good Times

2008-11-25T13:40:00.000-08:00

Here I was on Halloween. That was fun.

I actually scared a couple people who are afraid of clowns - both GUYS! One of the grocery bag-boys was dragged over by his co-workers just to force him to say "hi" to the clown.
Another teenage boy went running down an aisle after he looked up and realized he was face to face with his worst nightmare! Good times.

More good times inside.

Made the official family move over the weekend. Well, I guess it's not really official until we are married, and that's in the works! In the meantime, it's been a lot of great family fun around here - and it's about f'n time! :-)

I am sooooooo happy my daughter loves Mel and he thinks she's a great kid and they have fun and great conversations. He's pretty tolerant for never raising a girl before or being around young girls much. My daughter couldn't wait for him to get home from work so she could show him her new 'Winter Formal' dance outfit we just bought. He humored her and oohed and awed at her outfit that she held up before him as she discussed every detail and how she's going to wear it, bla bla bla. When she walked away, he looks at me and says, "What do I really say to that?" But he was grinning and thought it was all cute that she wanted to share her happy moment with him. She was just so happy that she found a great dress so fast and in time before the big dance. She is 12, and I am not so happy that she looks 16 in her dress and fancy shoes! She's tall, leggy and beautiful, but I am bias. :-)

She approached me in the laundry room later that evening and asked me something that took me by surprise. She asked if she is allowed yet to have a boyfriend at school. I pulled my head out of the dryer and turned around with a big grin and asked her if a boy has asked her out. She said, "No, not quite, but Fulton has been more chatty with me and protective with me when other kids try to pick on me and he always visits with me on the bus. The other day, at our bus stop, he got up and made all the other kids wait, while he let me off the bus first." (OMG!) this boy is serious

I could tell she really likes this boy, "So, do you really like this boy or are you just asking for permission in case he asks you to the dance?" She said she thinks she really likes him. She has not had a boyfriend yet, not really allowed since she's still pretty young anyway. She thinks she's ready to have a special guy at school.

I told her that so far he seems respectful of her and I think their friendship is mutual and she has my permission to start thinking about a boyfriend relationship....she SQUEALED and jumped up and down. Maaaaaaan, I hope this turns out alright! She's been getting straight A's and she's been enjoying just being a kid and now growing up too fast n furious - - - - ok, I am sure she'll handle this alright. I reassured her to come to me first and talk to me about ANYTHING she has questions about and she said, "deal."

I told Mel about her wanting a boyfriend now and asked him when this all starts happening, does he already feel that he is going to be Mr.Protective of her and check out the boys and scare them straight.......and he said 'Yes' so fast and in such a way I could tell that he is already going to be protective over anything that happens around lil miss princess of the house. Ohhhh Maaaaan, only daughter/only kid syndrome.....maaaaaaan, daddy's going to spoooooiiiiiil her!

Since the big move-in was this past weekend.....there was a first official sleepover with the family all together. Daughter asked if she could sleep with us. I wasn't sure how Mel would feel about this, but I figured it's a good test to see how tolerant he is going to be with daughter adjusting to the change too. He didn't care one bit. I have a CalKing bed, plenty big enough, so I told daughterbutt to sleep on one side, I'll be in the middle and Mel climbed in the other side. We no sooner got settled in and here jumps a cat up to join us. As soon as Mel says, "Oh my gaaaaaaaawwwwwd, what-thuh?" And as Mel's still jokingly grumbling - here jumps up the dog....., "WHAT THUH?! The world's largest BUNG-HOLE is joining us too? We're sleeping with the KID, A CAT, FLEA-BAG-BUNG-HOLE-ASS-MUNCH, why not bring the F'N HORSE in bed too, I'm sure there's room!!!"

We were all laughing so hard. I could hardly breathe. He was joking and trying to sound all pissed off and you could just tell he was loving every minute of it. It was so cute, I wanted to get it all on video. Here Mel is bitching and moaning and the dog is climbing all over him trying to lick his face, the cat is wandering around all 3 of us trying to figure out where she's going to settle in for the night and me and my daughter are a hysterical, laughing, crying mess. It was so fun!

I awoke about 3a.m., still with all those bodies on the bed, minus one horse, and it was BLAZING HOT! Since I was trapped in the middle, I had no where to stick a leg out as a thermostat. I was overheating. I crawled out and slept the rest of the night in front of the big screen in the living room. :-) Yay me!

Here's my daughter on Halloween. She was a bloody puppet.

Exercise will do my body good.

2008-11-18T21:53:00.001-08:00

Sleepy, slow, relaxing day, but I need to publish one more quickie (since my last post was a ppp) If you're wondering what that is, you haven't missed much.

Has your significant other ever called you fat? Even on accident? My guy did the other night, but it was so stupidly innocent and harmless, that I had to let it slide after the initial zinger of pain through my gut, yes, my fat gut. cute video inside

I'm not a huge girl, but in my old age, (uh um 39), I have managed to pack on about 20 extra pounds. That should be easy enough to shed, but I dream up every excuse under the sun and moon to get out of working my fat ass. I HATE exercising. It is SUCH A BORE!!! But my guy is going to get us both memberships to the gym, so that will be fun to workout together - I've actually never done that with a boyfriend.....interesting.

That's not the gesture that implied my fattitude.

The other night, we were watching t.v. I was on one couch and he was on the other. I decided to get up and join him on the other couch for some good ol snuggle-spoonage. As we struggled to position ourselves, he blurts out, "Look at us 2 fatties trying to fit on this couch!"

I immediately reacted - but just as quickly, assured him, "The truth hurts. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at ME for not exercising!" That lit a fire in me to get back into shape, and FAST.

Tonight at the grocery store, it was a lot of veggies, fruit, tofu, and fresh ingredients for yummy, healthy food. Step awaaaaaay from the ice cream, fat ass!

Now that's a slice of time out of my life I'll never get back.

2008-11-13T13:27:00.001-08:00

Last night I bailed out of the deli early.
It was very slow throughout the store and there was about 1 customer every half-hour at the deli.

I wonder how many patrons caught us standing around picking our nose over their food. JK of course, maybe, you'll never know. I'm OUTTA there maaaan.

Following my horror story of the deli-drama? I haven't caught the masses up lately, there's been just so much that by the time I get home, I'd rather live a normal life than re-live all the BS that goes on there, but it's goooood and stuuuuupid. Some people (cough: lame chic with no tact) need to get a clue and get a life!

Going back a few weeks, when the latest confrontation with shrunkenapplehead beeyotch went down, I have just been going in, doing my (lame) job, keeping my mouth shut and keeping to myself. I'm doing my job man, not stirring up shit and I'm a hard worker, what can go wrong? Apparently, just doing your job isn't good enough. I am also earning that paycheck by being (forced) to be a 'personality' with my fellow team and "get along by 'visiting'. What thuh? I exaggerate, no one came out and told me that, but it was implied.

A few weeks of me keeping my mouth shut, except being pleasant and fabulously SUPER to the customers (ha ha), and just 'doing my job', I get called back to the office along with gnarly-wrinkly-shrunkenapplehead chic. We all march back there and we go in and take a seat. The evening super asked us what the hell was going on, that she felt "blind-sided" by this sudden change of atmosphere in the deli. I responded that hey, I'm just doing my job man. I come in, I do my job and I go home. Bla Bla Bla, you can just imagine where this was all going about how we all need to get along.......
"So, I am supposed to pull fake conversation out of thin air and pretend to like a person rather than just focus on my job? Not everyone else is all talking. _ _ _ _ just stands over there focusing on making her cakes......"

"Yes, but you don't even say Boo to her."

"Why should I? I'm not here to be friends with her."

"Yes, but you should be cordial."

"Hey, it goes both ways. I come in, I say aloud a blanket Hello to all as I come into the deli and she ignores that too and doesn't respond - but the difference is - I couldn't care LESS. If someone doesn't like me, doesn't want to talk to me, doesn't want to be friends with me, I DON'T CARE AT ALL."

To all this, shrunkenapplehead sat and looked amazed, then she chimes in, "Is that normal?"
To which, thank G-D the super agreed and had to remind her, "Yes, L_ _a, not everyone has to be your friend."

She's the type of person that just DOESN'T GET IT. She is so loud, annoying, nosey, intrusive, drama and NEEDY that if you're not her friend or acting like part of her fricking gang then it BOGGLES HER MIND that someone would choose to not talk to her.

So, super asked when/where it all started, where did it all come from. shrunkenapplehead jumped at the chance to give her story at when it all started and I sat and listened. Super looked at me, and I said, "She's right. I'll own it, I'm fine with that. It DID all start with that incident and I did tell her "it's just fking chicken!" but she's not revealing how it came to a boil. She pushes and pushes and doesn't let up the drama. (then I turned my attention directly to her) L_ _a, I am sorry, maybe you don't even realize what you are doing, but you ARE VERY DRAMA. Evvvvveryyythingggg is such a big deal to you and you are loud and overbearing and waaaay over the top." I turned my attention back to the super, "It was later in the evening and I decided to make a lighter load of chicken rather than the full rack, so we would have enough if people swing by, but not so much to get stuck with too much leftover cooked chicken. As I am pulling the cart of chicken back to the fridge, L_ _a sees the light rack and FLIPPED OUT. 'Oh my G-D! Why is there only 3 chickens....on and on.'

L(shrunkenapplehead): "I didn't do that." (she ALWAYS denies EVERYTHING that is brought to her attention)
super: "Yes, I was told by another source in the store that you absolutely flipped out and made a scene."
me: "I honestly thought she was joking. I turned to her and said, 'Are you kidding?' I can't make a lighter load? (super)just made a lighter load earlier, why can't I?" She flat out told me I am not allowed to do the chicken that way and I asked her again, 'so, you're standing there literally telling me I am NOT ALLOWED to make a judgement call and make less chicken at this time of night? Then she got in my FACE and told me I am not allowed. That was when I lost it and told her, 'It's not ROCKET SCIENCE, it's FKN'G CHICKEN!"

So, now super had a clearer picture of how shrunk pushed me to snap. So super reminded her she is in no way my supervisor and just let me do my job. (gimme a fn break) I cannot believe it even came to all this. I had to speak up again.

"I cannot believe we are having to sit back here like kids in a principal's office and relive all this stupid drama. I still say, it's JUST CHICKEN. Even after that crap, I still chatted with her a bit around the deli, but when she pulled more of her stupid crap on me, I decided that's IT! I'm not making an effort to be friends or even cordial with craziness that will turn around and stab me in the back - for WHAT? A stupid DELI JOB? No offense to everyone else here doing a great job, everyone works great, but I came here JUST FOR A SIMPLE PART TIME PAYCHECK for extra money. I did NOT SIGN ON FOR THIS BS. Gimme a break."

super: "So, you're still saying you have no intention of being friends?"
me (laughing in disbelief): "No, I could care less. I'm just doing a p/t job man."

It went on a bit more and I took that time to reveal to them that I am already looking around for something else anyway and didn't want to say anything until I landed something, but I might as well let them know, I am OUTTA THERE. It NOT WORTH IT.

bla bla bla, At least I got some validation from super-of-the-night that Lshrinky IS DRAMA.

Last night when I arrived, the Manager, above super, was kina hovering around the timeclock as I came in. It kina looked like she wanted to catch me as I came in. So, we stepped into the office and I am thinking 'here we go again' but surprise surprise, Manager wanted to vent to me that she is fed up too and she is looking to move on. She said that she is FULLY AWARE of all L's stupid BS and drama and that she went so far as to make up a BS story about the deli manager (her) and how stupid is she to think that Manager wouldn't get wind of it? So, Manager told me she went right up to her and told her, "By the way.....

I told Manager, "It is as if she thrives on drama. She is so hooked on drama and HAS to live by drama that she makes up any BS story out of thin air and doesn't even realize what the hell she is doing. And she wants everyone to be her friend about it all."

Anyway, we had a good laugh, I handed Manager my letter of 2 weeks notice that I had already typed up at home anyway, so I was glad I ran into her. So, I have a set date, Saturday, November 22nd is my LAST DAY at one of the worst jobs I have ever had the displeasure of pursuing, even if it was just p/t for extra money.

STOP THE INSANITY, keep your sanity. Don't do bonehead jobs for extra money thinking it's going to be easy. There's a REASON there are boneheads in that job market, they'll fkn insult your intelligence, m a a a an! :-)

The Holidays approaching, a new life and even more to celebrate!

2008-11-10T21:56:00.000-08:00

My Grandparents eloped after a few months, let's just say, less than a year.

My Grandmother, Phyllis, told me this story after Grampa passed, something I had never heard before, and if I remember correctly, something, she said, she had not spoke of while Grampa was here. It was something special between the two of them, this story of how they met, fell in love, were inseparable and then eloped.

My Grandfather, Joaquin Marshall Falcon was a butcher in a grocery store and one day he looked up and saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, my Grandmother. Instantly, in that moment, the voice of an angel whispered in Grandpa's ear, "This is the woman you are to marry."

Grandma told me that Grandpa told her that he heard the voice as clear as someone was standing right next to him there at the store. They met, fell in love, met each other's parents and eloped.

Grandma and Grandpa Falcon were always The quintessential example of what I dreamed a happy couple is all about. They walked through life together with sheer joy, never aired their dirty laundry in public and were hands-on, all about the well being of the grandchildren and healthy family living. Unfortunately, not every generation can pull that off.

Only True Love can pull that off and pull life together in all the right places and all the right timing.

If you are a regular reader, you may have noticed I deleted a couple recent posts. I was expressing doubts about my new guy - my guy I met in the grocery store as I worked on the other side of that counter, much as Grandpa did. Reading too much into it? Perhaps, but my guy and I have to admit to ourselves and we have expressed to each other now, that we are inseparable.

The doubts I was having were all my own. I had typed something to the effect that since I was so happy now, I am having the feeling that I'd like to date around more, since I have hardly dated in all these years, this new revived feeling is making me just want to go out and have FUN!

I took a week off from Mr.New Guy - My Mel, that's right, I can put it all out there now, his real name and all our sappy happy-ness :-) After about a week, I called him just to touch base, and as soon as I heard his voice, I realized just how much I missed him, I was hooked. It was a few more days before we made plans to see each other again, but when we saw each other, it was definitely mutual.

My daughter likes him, he likes her, he is fine with all our critter pets, we're moving together to a cheap rental and now we are scouting around for our dream home and acreage to buy! YAY We're going to breed more horses, farm the land and he's definitely keeping his great job he's got a good gig going at the local lumber mill. Benefits, 401k, job security.

Our first glance is at a great 18acre place just about 3miles away that is all set with a huge barn and indoor arena, beautiful 2 story farmhouse. We can board horses to the public and breed and I can run the show. Still a bit of a dream, but it's so fun that he's dreaming out loud of great ideas too - we are both on the same page.

My daughter and I are in a 1 bedroom place right now, and the downstairs, full basement, 3 bedroom unit is opening up Dec 1st, so I made the call today to the landlord and he said, "Done deal." Landlord is happy because he doesn't have to advertise, he knows me as a tenant already and we're happy to rent there for a while until we lock in the perfect buying scenario.

Sure, it's a rush, we know it sounds crazy to everyone else, no matter how you slice it, but we both have been alone a very long time and when you know, you know. Mel has been alone because he knew he just didn't meet "the one" yet.....until one day he saw me in the store and he knew I was the girl for him. He told me he used to just hover around the produce area watching me at work - hmmm, that sounds a little creepy typing that out loud. But it's mutual. From the day I first met my Mel, I found myself looking forward to this guy cruising by the deli again and again. Mel is 49 and I am 39, we both feel that we are too old to be playing boyfriend/girlfriend, we just want to be together everyday and we are so ready for the good family life.

I am leaving that stinking ole stupid deli job - and Mel said I get to do whatever I want. He said he knows from watching me that I'm a hard worker and I'll accomplish whatever I set my mind to and we'll make it all work.

Best part of all, lil ole 39yr old me is finally getting married! We both agree we want to be married, but I'm not mentioning anymore about it, or pushing anything, because Mel is very romantic and I have a feeling it will be best if I leave the plans and proposal to him, I am sure he wants to have something very special planned for me. He knows I have never been married.

After dinner tonight, Mel went home, out to his little place way out in the woods about 10 miles from town, and we miss each other already. 1, . . 2, . . .3, . . altogether now, . . . B A R F :-)

Rat food donut bait

2008-09-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

The last time I looked at the schedule, I had 3 days off in a row: Sun, Mon, Tue.

When I was hired, of course that was one of the first things I asked my new boss-lady.
(that sounds like a derogatory pet-name, but she's awesome and you can't hear my cutsie tone, ha ha If I didn't like her, I'd call her bossy-bitch, as in this previous post from a previous job)

Anyhoo, I digress.

That was what I saw on the schedule last time I checked, last time before last night that is. Hmmm, gee, suddenly it's changed. Isn't that juuuuust like a new job to bait and switch the new bitch. Whatever, fine, I got an extra day in there so I could use the extra money, only now, I have split days off, bummer for the sucker new girl. &^%$#@ That's what I get for settling for a stupid name-tag job.

Like I've said in previous posts, and I have to keep reminding myself and appreciate, hey, it's p/t hours that affords me more time at home with my kiddo and it's even great benefits at p/t hours, and that is a great value that is hard to come by.

Any dirt happen on the job last night that I can blog about? A little, here's the chit.

We were closing up shop (the deli) and the 3 of us ended up huddled over in a far corner, hovering over the sink, deciding what we were going to do for the very last task before we can head out the door. We were kina stalling a minute, deciding if we were going to just leave the dirty mop as usual, just wrung out to dry, or take a nice proactive stance and soak it overnight in a bleach bucket.....we decided to grab a bucket and get it all freshie, it would only take a couple extra minutes anyway.

I look over to my right at the rack to see if there is a bucket to grab, and I was at just the right angle to see a sweet surprise under the rack, on the floor. I say, "Ooh, cool, rat food." And the other 2 girls say, "Huh?" So I point under the rack. And I added this juicy bit, "I know exactly what those are from and how they got there." Both girls look at me, curious, of course. Inside, I begin to regret even opening my mouth about this.

I started it, so I had to finish it(damn). I continue with the big reveal, "Well, it was my first or second day, and we were really busy back here, everyone was either busy at the counter or just buzzing around doing something. I walked back to the fryer and I saw that an entire box of those donuts was aaaallll over the floor, a lot of them, I mean, donuts everywhere. 'so-n-so & whats-her-name' were scrambling to pick them all up before anyone notices. They were looking fast and furious at the counter to see if customers caught it and then they both saw that I totally saw the whole thing. They both stopped and looked at me like, "Oh, she's the new girl, what is she going to do?
I just kept on walking and didn't really acknowledge that they even looked at me and I certainly wasn't going to say anything being so new. I didn't want to be a little tattle-tale. But they were really scrambling to pick all those donuts up fast."

Both the girls last night were HORRIFIED! Their faces were priceless! I told them, "I wasn't sure if that was the 'norm' around here, like a 5 second rule or something. " They said it is not the 'norm' and that it was really GROSS.

I ended it by adding, "Well, don't quote me on all that. I mean, yes, I saw them scrambling to pick up the donuts, but for all I know, they were scrambling to throw them away. I mean, I don't honestly know what they did with them. I don't want to get anyone in trouble. I just thought it was funny, spotting those 2 missed donuts under the rack and it was the same donuts."

They just walked away in silence and we all went to punch out.
Crap, why'd I have to even say anything. Now I feel bad. But you know what? I'm never eating a donut from that bakery that I don't know first hand exactly where it came from! ha ha

Crazytown USA

2008-09-18T17:55:00.001-07:00

I must have the WORST instincts and the best knack for getting into drama. Albeit accidentally. I am officially no longer attracted to, even remotely, semi or even the slightest bit attracted to mr. mechanic.
The chit has hit the crazy fan.

Yesterday was my first day on a new job (outside of home), but that's a different story. I was pretty pooped when I got home so I crashed on the couch. My kiddo got home from school and I was still in a bit of a daze. (only working p/t, thank goodness) There was a knock at the door and I heard my daughter talking to a lady.

I got myself up and looked at the lady standing there with my daughter, looked at my daughter and kina shook my head as if "it's go time" and sprung into reality.

She asked if she could come in and 'visit.' I recognized her, but I wasn't sure what from. I thought she was a neighbor, so I said, "Sure, come on in. Forgive me, I just started a new job today and dozed off on the couch." She came in and sat down.

I said, "I recognize you, but I am not sure why, sorry, how do I know you?" She said, "I am Chris' wife, the mechanic." DUt DU DUMMMMMM

She looked really pathetic and upset, no wonder she wanted to visit, I know that they are going through some stuff right now. But also, knowing in my heart that I personally have NEVER crossed any line, other than some dumb secret crush that I harbored for this guy and nothing has ever come of it.

She told me she knew there was or is another woman and she just wanted to come over here and ask me straight up if I am the other woman. I wasn't surprised at all and I thought that was pretty cool of her to be ballsy enough to come over here.

I told her, "No, absolutely not and I wish I could say some magic words to help you instantly believe me, but you don't know me at all and all I can do is tell you, for sure, there is nothing going on. I want to be totally honest with you, because no matter what, no matter what happens or what you guys are going through, honesty is always the best policy in any situation, so I want to add something further that I think you should know, but it will help, I think." I went on to tell her more.

Chris told me a while back that he is going through a divorce, and I have been going through some depression and hulled up here in my house. I have snapped out of it, so I have been visiting with Chris more lately. I just started back to a p/t job, that will get me out of the house, but the last couple or three weeks, I have been a little more friendly with Chris.
BUT -
I want you to know, Chris does not cross any lines, it is as if he was even kina irritated that I tried to visit with him anyway. He really wants to honor his marriage as long as he is still legally married, so that's a good thing.

She asked me if I know if there is another woman and she told me she has heard from other mutual friends of theirs that he has been caught around town with a woman with long black hair (like me!) That's why she thought it was me.

I told her, "Yes, there has been another woman around here once in a while. She does have long brunette or black hair, like both of us." Funny, all 3 of us look very similar!

I told her that Chris did even bring up the subject sometimes, that Chris talked openly about that other lady. Chris said that she is a friend that WANTS more and is pushing or pressuring him for more but that Chris backed way off from even hanging out with her and called it off with her because that is the last thing he wants or needs right now. He told me that all he wanted was a friend to hang out with while he was going through this divorce and he didn't need to be pressured.

I told the wife, "Since Chris told me a few weeks ago that he wanted to really back away from that other lady, I haven't seen her around hardly at all. Even when she was here, I never saw her go into the autoshop, she absolutely never stayed the night and he is staying at the shop nearly every night, alone, so I really believe he is just trying to handle this transition alone.

Anyway, then the wife started chiming in with her side of the story, and I began to feel very very uncomfortable. Her side of things were so different than the way Chris portrays them, and the way she describes him. I told her I was absolutely shocked. I told her I have never seen that side of Chris, I only know him as very kind and generous man that just happens to be going through a hard time right now.

She proceeded to tell me why they are going through a divorce and she had terrible, crazy, scary accusations! After I got an earful from her, I really wished I had told her at the door, "Look, I don't want to get in the middle of anything."
I am just too damn chatty and "trying" to be friendly to all sides I guess, stupid.

After about an hour I guess, Chris knocks on my door and it was very awkward, but I invited him in and even offered to them that I would leave so they can sit and talk a while. They didn't want that, but Chris took off.

The wife left and Chris showed back up at the property. He called my cell phone as soon as he walked into the auto shop here on the property. He wanted me to come over and fill him in on everything she told me.

I told him, "Bottom line, I really don't like being in the middle of this, but I am worried about you and so I am somewhat involved." I told him all the horrible things she said and he said she makes stuff up, bla bla bla. He gave me an earful about so many details of so many drama stories I can't keep it all straight, nor do I want to waste any of my energy on that.

After a few minutes of him talking REALLY FAST and him trying to fill me in on SO MANY DETAILS of some of their drama over the years, I had to interrupt, "Look, why do you feel compelled to tell me any of this? These are all just DETAILS, that are NONE of my business, I don't want anything to do with this. All I want is for you to BE OK. It just looks to me like some major chit is going down, you guys are going through marital changes, all marriages have an ebb and flow and you either decide to ride it out and come out shining or you have some other decisions to make."

He started to go on about more details and I just stopped him again and told him I am really kina overwhelmed with all this, it's NONE of my business and bottom line, I knew you first before her, I know the Chris I got to know, I have never seen the Chris she portrayed. I am worried about my friend, the Chris I know and if you need to talk again later, let me know, but tonight I simply can't even digest anymore.

Then, today, just a bit ago, I got a 'not so nice' voice mail from Chris. I called him back. I told him, "Basically, I really don't want to be in the middle. All I really should have done was told her at the door that I don't want to talk about anything, I never should have visited or talked about any of this. I just felt like I was lending an ear and offering honest input."
Chris said he thought I was being 2-faced and he said that I was friends with him first, bla bla bla.

It was an uncomfortable and awful phone call, but it ended well. I told Chris I was sorry for anything that I accidental did to make him feel betrayed, but to please believe me that I in NO WAY went out of my way to try and get him in trouble, or try to take any side. She was there, she wanted to come in and visit...I told him that I was sorry I ever let her in the door.

He said things are so crazy now, that he got a restraining order against her. He said that after talking to me, (and filling my head with all her crazy stories), Chris said that she has gone around to so many of their mutual friends trying to get people to believe all this crazy stuff, that Chris said some people have kicked her out of their house and after that was when he got the restraining order.

I told him I'd never talk to her again. I told him I don't know, or want to know, exactly what's going on, but that I am sorry for any hurt I caused him because he has been nothing but very nice and generous to me and helping me with my car! He said OK, and that things are ok with us now and he accepts my apology.

I kina wish he would apologize to me too, he also pulled me into this a bit, it wasn't all her and none of this drama is my fault. It's not MY messy divorce!

I hate drama drama drama
(image= I goog'd 'crazy wife')

Pigtails, rabbit ears and handlebars

2008-08-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

Hooray for cycles & sunshine. poo poo on the sweatshirt!

Just got back from a quickie ride. Asked my daughter to take
a quick snappie of me so you can see what I've been talking about. Rather, look who's talking.

The bike is rusty, but works, the clothes are neither appropriate nor inappropriate. I'm not that kina girl!
The sweat is real, and so's the gut. Oh, and the butt is really sore, and that's a good thing.

Skipped the entire weekend of cycling and was definitely feeling the extra
weight on this short ride. Just to the store and back. Milk, catfood, dogfood
a couple munchies and the essential toilet paper!

That oughtta lighten the load . . . .

Geek on the rise, um, ride

Fight, Flight and Fail

2008-08-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

Love it!
This is one of the funniest videos I have seen in a while.
Just think, 'Raiders of the Lost Arc, crazy dude wielding fancy moves, and Harrison Ford Owns the Smack Down'

Cycle of Life

2008-08-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

Ended up going for that rainy day cycle.

It was a challenge, but I am glad I forced myself to do that. Only thing is, now that I know I can do that, I have one less excuse to get out of exercise, even if it is in the wind and rain.

I headed out about 10:30am, not wanting to wait any longer. It should have been well past morning commute and enough time before lunch rush.

Just about 2 minutes down the road, I wanted to turn around and walk back up the hill. Didn't account for the wind factor blowing all that rain into my face, making it that much more difficult to navigate the ride. I pushed on. It wasn't a downpour. It wasn't pleasant, but I wasn't all that miserable.

Getting closer to the middle of the little town I pass through to get out to my regular route (out of town, onto and off the other side of the highway, out to the barn), there were a lot of cars on the road. Why? Who knows.

Seemed there were more cars than usual, but just because it's rainy? I don't know. For a moment I was self conscience of what they must be thinking of me. I have to pass through the heart of this little logging town, passed the library, park, police station, feed store, automotive, hardware store, dentist and bowling alley. Streams of cars just kept along with me, both sides of the road.

Only for a moment did that tiny bit of humbling shame settle on my heart, then I realized how ridiculous that was. I had a warm coat on, I had a safe helmet on, I have no flat tire, I'm peddling along at a great clip, let them feel foolish for burning more fuel and draining their pocketbooks.

The next leg of my trek, past the bowling alley, takes me a ways up hill. It's down hill from my place, level throughout that little bit of town, and back uphill, slow grade, toward the highway, then out to the barn.

Approaching the highway, there's a stop before you can go east or west onto the highway. I see a line of cars backing up at the stop. "great". Here I come along, in the rain, fighting the wind, in jeans, making my way past this line of cars up to the stop. I wait patiently, I have all day, they're the poor shmucks off to someplace to get money to spend on gas. (I tell myself)

That embarrassed feeling was wanting to take hold, I was having none of that. I don't care what these people think. I ate too much ice cream yesterday, I want the exercise, my horse is waiting for me and, besides, it's kind of a fun adventure.

But then I saw just how busy the highway was. What is it about this rain today that is driving more vehicles onto the road? Another thought crossed my mind, "What if in my rush to navigate this crossing, I slip in the slick?" I'll just have to wait at that stop until it is so clear that I have plenty of time to make it across safely.
And that's just what I did.

I waited for all the Mr.& Mrs. McStopSigns to go, waited for all easters and westers to go by, then made my way across. easy peasy

Once I am on the highway, that is the tricky part. Not just today in the rain, but there are a couple of narrow passages along the highway and, remember, this is logging country. Also, since we are out a ways in the country, there are often 18 wheeler freight trucks whizzing back and forth. I can hear when the big trucks are approaching, and it gives me a minute to prepare and make sure I am well balanced, and I can try to make sure I am well enough over to the right, but some spots, there's literally not much to work with other than about 5 inches or smacking your head against a tree.

Made it just fine, as usual. Foxxy was thrilled to see me. I brought her out a big scoop of grain before heading back to grab her some hay. Even though there is plenty of rich grass in pasture right now, I didn't want her standing too long in the rain when she can graze on hay right under the lean-to.

There were a couple other fat lug geldings in pasture this morning and one of them is an onry brat that will take every chance to force Fox away from her grain. I stood ground and kept that guy at bay. The other gelding is very polite, he wouldn't even approach, but he watched and drooled. I stayed long enough for Fox to eat most of her grain before I went in the barn to grab her pile of hay. Sure enough, when I step back out, there's mr.sneaky finishing off her breakfast, nasty bugger.I patted my beautiful Foxxy and headed out the front doors to go home. Wanna guess what hand Murphy's Law dealt me right at that moment as I was saddling up to the bike? A hot mess. A bloody hot mess to enjoy all the ride home. Lovely

I either cannot stand to pedal when I hit some uphill grade, or my jeans will be dark enough soaked with rain by then that no one would notice my hot mess anyway.
It's bad enough I was feeling a little embarrassed for all that commuter traffic to see me cycling in the rain; now I have to share with them one of woman kind's not so kind intimate cycle of life? gimme a break

Nothing I can do about that now, just saddle up and go. On the way home, I tried really hard to think of all things positive to help get me through the next trying moments. It's difficult to keep the list in mind when you're trying to navigate highway, rain, wind, cycle and period, but I wanted something to write about when I got home besides the hot mess.

I told myself, "At least no one can tell how much is sweat pouring off my face and water, the rush to get home is pushing my exercise harder, the wet road is making the tires louder and I can hear more cars approaching, no wait, that's just literally more cars today, I can add one more accomplishment to my list."

Who cares about some damn accomplishment at this moment? I was even pissing myself off. No more positive thoughts, just get the hell home! It's rainy and windy and I am niagra falls over here.

I make it most of the way home pushing myself in areas I had taken it easy before or had sometimes even gotten off to walk. I didn't even feel any pain in my legs, I just pushed, didn't stand up to give the cars behind me a brilliant show, just pushed it baby.

About a quarter of a mile left to go, and this last uphill I can't push, no way, no how. I hop off to walk the rest of the way. No more cars, we're on the outskirts of the neighborhood now with only a few houses to go.

I have no idea how much of what I am feeling is mess or wet rain all over me, but it's not funny anymore. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, it felt like it was going to explode. That can't be good. Now I could feel the pain. It hurt just to walk; I was taking the steps very slowly now, I literally could not even move my legs very well at all. Verrrry slowly, one in front of the other.

Just when I was thinking I had better unzip my jacket to cool off because my heart was really worrying me, a gust of cool wind scooped up behind me and pushed me up the hill! No exaggeration, I mean, in that instant I needed it, there it was, and it lasted. That wind pushed and carried me up the last 50 yards of that hill and when it all leveled off and I was safely home, the breeze was gone.

I stripped down and collapsed at home. Turned on the tv and settled in for a well earned break. Suddenly the sky opened up and the rain was an absolute downpour. I finished that ride just in time.

The morning ended with a bang, literally - check this out. Three very loud, very close explosions. Snap, Bam, then a bit later, *BANG*!!! A transformer must have blow. No power. Only had to wait a short while before we heard a truck and crew, working right up from my driveway. Wow, that was close! Glad I wasn't on my bike right then too.......

Rain or shine, cycling again

2008-08-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

5:30 a.m. and a howling fat cat named Peanut has the nerve to wake this fat grumpy bear. The sun is about to rise and he is anxious to get outside and look for his brother.

I waste just a quick second to stretch, curse the cat and remember Whitey fondly. Now, I get my ass up for coffee and I'm going to hit the road cycling again.
(update: i'm going later. I just stepped outside and heard a couple cars. was hoping to beat some morning cars, but it's 6:45 and they're already on the road. there's a couple very narrow stretches I'd rather not navigate between rain and cars. that's my 'excuse.')

The last couple days have been all about ice cream. This ride is going to be brutal, in more ways than one. I feel heavier and it is raining out. I'll think a quick prayer that the rains stop, just for me. If I get soaked to the bone riding, I'll be that much heavier.

Just like those damn nike commercials, just do it, right?

Surfing for new news while downing some quick coffee, I find another reference to the 'just do it', from FoxNews.com. Here's a fun article about a married couple in Colorado that wrote a book about their challenge to 'just do it' for 101 days. I've been alone for about 13 years. How many days is that? You have just had a peek, or a revealing hint, into my little piece of the world!
(top image: i googled 'bike in the rain' and this was a winner)

'Peanut', damn cat. SLEEP IN next time, pesky varmint

Morning cycle update

2008-08-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

This morning I went cycling. I almost said I went for a long bike ride, but it wasn't' that long, about 4 miles. It felt like a long ride though, because I am a bit out of shape. Moreso endurance and not so much fattyfat.

I brought the camera to hopefully catch some great shots along the way. About 5 minutes along the road, I approached a fawn, aww how cute. I stop, actually, the little bugger let me stop pretty close to the flea bit mongrel. I crept up closer, closer, ok, this is good. I turn to zip open the pouch on the bike and I was close enough that the sound of the zipper startled it.

Across the road, his twin! We made eye contact and I hurried up to grab the camera and the little bastard went springy springin across that road so fast to catch up to it's sibling. Would have made a cute pick or video, but they were too fast. I wonder where their mamma is. Maybe she's just chilling back at the house on the bbq, wouldn't that be nice! Here, I got it all ready, hop on, cook yourself! Would you mind plucking your ticks first, I don't like those bite size morsels.

Next along my route was a beautiful shot of the morning sun through the Oregon trees, well hell, I see that everyday, didn't bother to stop and take a pick, just soaked it all in. Never spotted any Bald Eagle and never stopped to take any pics. OK, no nice pics to share on this post.

I'll ride again tomorrow, since I am on a roll, ha ha. And I'll bring back some great shots. Oh, by the way, the 4 mile ride took me 1 hour. About 1/4 of it, I had to hop off and walk because of all the hills we live on and around. It wasn't an easy ride, but it was fun enough for me to go it again.

I passed out on the couch for a couple hours when I got home, but I feel healthier.
(I googled 'twin fawns' and grabbed that image)

Cycling my spare tire

2008-08-14T06:29:00.001-07:00

6:30a.m., beautiful morning, & I'm about to go cycling for a few miles. Earlier I posted that my middle has been tenderized lately and I am doing something about it. Well, in order for me not to be a liar, I had better exercise!

Yesterday was long walk day with the dog. That didn't go over so well, you can read that here on my blog: Blogon Dog! And other days I walk to the store and back as much as possible. Many mini trips with the back pack means less big stocking up later, but I think I would save more money if I did a big stock up. That's overdue. What's worse; save some green or shed some fat? I need both.

Just need to finish this hot coffee, get some supplements in me and I am off on my cycling trip. Oh, I should bring the camera! You never know when you'll spot a Bald Eagle around here. Last year there was one circling above our yard. I was so hoping it was checking us out to make a new home. Wouldn't that be neat. I guess it passed on us because too many cats!

Feeling a little self conscience about my ride, but I know that is just silly. I don't have the proper attire, but maybe that's a good thing. We are just country bumpkins. No need to get all decked out. But I'll be riding in jeans! Who cares?
I just wish with this latest gas crisis and economy, more people were out riding. I'm giong to look and feel a little lonely out on that road. Ok, stop dwelling and JUST DO IT! (a little more coffee helps me procrastonate)