So many people are leaving spammy comments on this blog that I finally have to say something about it:

I’m a creative person. I don’t need to be critiziced for what I do or how I do it, because I am expressing what I want to express for the simple joy of doing so. I’m not trying to please anyone out there, so either enjoy my blog, or just go somewhere else. Spamming me with repeated comments from every page on this blog has no creative purpose whatsoever. It is simply a form of destructive behavior that I will no longer accept. There is a word for the kind of people that do this to creative souls who are freely sharing with others – we call them TROLLS, because that is what they are. Destructive, negative trolls.

So, if you recognize yourself as one of these trolls, know well that you are not welcome to leave a comment on this blog. Look deep into yourself for answers as to why you would want to destroy what others create. What you do is not of the light, and you are not welcome here. I accept that you are on the level that you have chosen to be on in this life time, but I also ask that you accept where I am at without trying to create undue hassle for me.

This blog is for the people who are trying to wake up, trying to see the bigger picture, and who are open to light and love. These are the people I write for. Anyone who don’t feel the way I do, are free to go elsewhere, and should therefore exercise that freedom!

My rant is over. I have expressed what I needed to express. Troll be gone!!!

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I just learned another lesson yesterday about being clear about what you want…

In the last month or so, I have been on a quest to find the perfect pair of mary jane shoes. They HAVE to be comfortable, especially now that my broken big toe is slightly longer than the other, and has no nail on it, but I’m also vain enough that they have to be stylish as well, since I wear a lot of skirts. And, I like leather, and not too much heel, and lots of cushy foot comfort. You get the picture – I’m a pain in the butt to please. And, did I mention, I don’t want to pay more than $20.00 for a pair?

So, off to ebay I went, and found lots of very slightly used shoes under $20.00. So I started out with 3 pairs, and they came last week, but none of them fit. One was to tight across the toes, another almost fit, but slipped just enough that it removed the skin on my heal after using them once, and the third pair was a full size bigger than what it stated inside. Total bummer. Then I bought a pair of sandals in a half size smaller, and of course, they came and were to small (more blisters…). And I bought a beautiful pair of bass shoes – too big as well… So, all of a sudden, I have 5 pairs of useless, but beautiful shoes, that don’t fit my feet, and my husband is calling me Emelda Marcos…

I finally broke down and went to a proper shoe shop, tried on 10 pairs of shoes, and found a totally perfect pair that fits like a glove, only to find that I had to pay $110.00 for this pair. But, I swallowed, took a deep breath and did it!

I had already spent that much on all my useless ebay purchases, instead of just buying what I wanted in the first place! So, now I have to list all those pairs back on ebay this weekend, so I can get the money back that I wasted. Luckily I learned my lesson – it is better to have ONE pair of shoes that fits, than five pairs that sits in the bottom of my closet. Go figure!

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So, what is the solution to our eternal quests for the perfect relationship? Unfortunately, this simple question has no simple answer.

First of all, we have to realize that women and men have different needs and different perceptions of what is or isn’t important in life. Therefore, you aren’t going to find ONE being that can fulfill all your needs. We have to start accepting the idea that our significant other will fulfill some of our needs and desires, while other people in our lives have to fill in the gaps.

There is nothing wrong with this solution – in fact, it can enrich our lives to do some things together, and other things apart with other people.

We also have to question what this so called “perfect” relationship actually is. Is it going to fulfill the quest and desire for everlasting happiness, like it states in all the fairy tales? Not likely. From a spiritual point of view, the perfect relationship is one that helps you grow and evolve on your spiritual path. We are here to grow and learn from everything that happens to us, and if our relationships are only “sweetness and cherry pie,” we aren’t going to learn anything from them. So, the truth of the matter is, that the perfect relationship is one we can learn and grow from – and not one that makes us so happy that we forget all about our spiritual purpose for being here.

So, do relationships work? Absolutely! In the school of life, relationships serve a huge purpose; they are here to push all our buttons so we can expand to higher levels of consciousness! So in that sense, they can work wonders, especially if we don’t just escape through divorce as soon as things get a big heavy. The time has come to own our stuff, shadows and all, and to work through it. No more blaming others for all our misery! The time has come for honest self evaluation, and expansion will follow…

The first step in this process is to realize that men and women are different, and to stop making each other compromise in the relationship. If there is truly love between two people, they have to be willing to allow each other to be who they are, without compromise. Let the men work so they can feel good about their accomplishments, and let the women spend time with their girl friends so they can get the support they need, and then, celebrate the times when the two partners actually do come together out of their own free will to just be with each other.

Remember, expectation is the seed of frustration and nagging, so all expectation has to go…

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Numerology explains a lot – if you take the numbers for “man” it adds up to 10/1. The number 1 is about leadership, self, ego, me, my, etc, etc… As you can see, the vibration of relationships isn’t there at all. The enlightened master Osho used to say that women and men are often on different spiritual paths. Women are on the path of love, and men are on the path of awareness.

These two basic differences have a huge influence on how we deal with eachother and life in general. Women are made for relationships because they are essential for the raising of children and the survival of the species. In this equation, men are needed for sharing his sperm, and possibly for taking care of mother and child until the child is big enough that the mother can do it all. I have read that for the first 3 years, there are certain chemicals being released that keeps the couple together. After 3 years, the levels of these chemicals go down, and often, the man will start thinking about moving on…

To a man who is more into awareness than love, relationships can often become more of a burden and a distraction that stops him from keeping a spiritual focus. Men don’t learn from interaction with others the way women do – they learn from figuring out everything for themselves. That is why a troubled man will retreat into his personal “cave” and not communicate with his questioning mate until he figures it all out, and this is also why men are often hesitant about going to any kind of therapy that requires that he communicates with anyone.

This is totally different from the way women work. We voice our feelings to our girlfriends and anyone else who is willing to lend an ear, and in that process of discussion and feedback, we learn and grow. Oh, well… No wonder relationships are difficult…

If we look at the numerology of “men” we get 14/5. There still isn’t any relationship numbers in the plural of men. 14 shows that men get their ego and identity (1) from the work (4) that they do. Therefore, they feel great after accomplishing lots at work, and they don’t even mind working overtime if this helps them accomplish more. So, if you wonder why your mate puts more energy into his work than in his relationship with wife and kids, this is why.

The 5 shows that men have a tendency to get stuck in fixed ideas. Combine this with women’s lack of confidence (3) and reliance on the relationship (2) for her identity (1), we instantly get a feeling of unfulfilled expectations in the woman, and a sense of bondage in the man. Nagging woman and avoiding man – you get the picture…

More about this tomorrow…

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Why are men and women so different from eachother? Our perceptions of reality are different, our approaches are different, and we often have problems communicating.

As I was pondering this issue the other day, I started dabbling with numerology again, just for fun. The idea was that if I did the numerology on the words woman, women, man and men, the numbers would give me some clarity about this issue.

The numbers for “woman” adds up to 21/3, and this is very interesting! 21 indicates that women’s self confidence (1) is totally dependent on their relationships (2). In other words, women feel great when they get positive support from their relationships, and they feel terrible if they get negative or no support.

This explains why women need girl friends in their lives. Whenever there is a problem, the positive support of a girl friend is invaluable when it comes to helping women cope or feel better. Of course, positive support can also come from a man, but it is often more likely to come from a girl friend…

Without positive support, women tend to lose their confidence (3), and this confidence issue often make women look less qualified than men at work, even though they may be totally capable of doing the same job. The fact is, women are often lacking in confidence rather than qualifications, and unfortunately, this often leads to less pay and lower positions on the ladder of success…

If we look at the word “women,” the numbers add up to 25/7. This combo shows that women tend to have fixed ideas (5) about how their relationships (2) are supposed to be, and when their expectations aren’t fulfilled, they often develop abandonment issues (7).
From this analysis we can see how important relationships are in a woman’s life. Life without relationships is no life at all for a woman. Relationships are our world!!! Marriage, children, girl friends, male friends. It is hard for a woman to imagine not having this in their lives, because it means so much to us…

(Tomorrow, I’ll let you know why men don’t have the same perception about the importance of relationships. Stay tuned…)

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I’ve just spent the last week studying sunscreens. My son has such light skin, he just keeps burning, even when the bottle states SPF 90-100. How is this possible? How do all those chemicals work, anyway?

Take Banana Boat’s baby formula – it would probably come as a great surprise that a baby formula would rate 7 (red) in the cosmetics database. It contains retinyl palmitate, which is a form of vitamin A that should never be used in the sun, since it can actually stimulate tumor growth when exposed to sunlight.

Oxybenzone is another chemical that shouldn’t even be used on children at all, since it is a hormone disrupter…
Next, there is octocrylene, which breaks down and produces free radicals in sunlight, (free radicals are unstable molecules that can damage normal skin cells and turn them into cancer cells) and avobenzone, which also breaks down in sunlight and produces unknown chemical compounds (all FDA approved, of course!).

In addition I can also mention two toxic pegs, and two different parabens. Need I say anything more??? Would you put this sunscreen on a baby, or in a toxic waste dump? I certainly wouldn’t touch it…

So, what is the alternative? Photostable zinc and titanium mineral sunscreens? They may be safe to use, but who wants to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost? If you are like me, you would like to be safe, without the ghosty look. So, how would you know what to buy?
With a jungle of choices out there with more or less of a hefty price tags? How do you know what to choose?

Here is a hint: I just came across this awesome natural sunscreen review (with pictures!). This woman has put so much energy into her reviews that I want as many people as possible to know about her work. So, make sure you go and check out her natural sunscreen reviews!

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It has been a life changing week for me, on many levels. I just went from Zumba queen to cripple in a matter of minutes!

Let me start with the beginning – about 4 years ago, a huge, Japanese Taiko drum fell on my right toe and totally crushed it, ripped the nail out and broke it off completely (into 3 bits!). The doc said it was the worst toe injury he had ever seen. After stubbornly refusing surgery and curing the damage with homeopathic remedies (he still calls me a walking miracle – and a major pain in the butt), the nail came back nicely.

A year later, I stubbed my toe (the same one of course) so hard that it was bleeding at the bottom, and after that, the nail turned thicker and thicker, and really dark, and started growing out diagonally instead of straight.

This week I decided that enough is enough, and went back to the foot doc to see what he could do about the nail. He took one look at it, and told me it had to come off!!! I instantly felt sick to my stomach, desparately looking for a better solution, but when no better solution presented itself, I had to reluctantly agree, and he took my nail off!!!

I’m still in shock. Now it feels like someone has been hacking on my toe with a big hammer, I can barely walk on it, I can’t use any shoes, and IT HURTS!!! So, no more Zumba for me for a while. I feel traumatized…

Anyway, I firmly believe that every thing that happens to the body has something to do with unresolved mental issues. So, I started googleing – meaning of big toe… I found an Indian toe reading site that said that the big right toe has to do with expression of joy. Very interesting – I used to really enjoy Taiko drumming, until the day when my teacher insisted that I played a drum that I intuitively knew I shouldn’t play. He wouldn’t hear any arguments, and plopped the drum on the stand in front of me, and the next thing I knew, the drum tipped over and crushed my toe. And, needless to say, I haven’t enjoyed Taiko since…

Then I did the numerology on “thick toenail” and it added up to 55/1. Five has to do with being too rigid (thick nail) or too flexible (no nail at all), and 55 has to do with an imbalance between rigidity and flexibility, in other words, not knowing where to draw the line, or when to say yes or no to something, so boundary issues…

If I had had clear boundaries in the first place, and basically refused to play the drum and stuck to my guns, the drum wouldn’t have fallen on my toe in the first place. It was my wishy washy attitude that caused the whole problem.

The loss of the toenail has slowed me down to the point where I actually have time to ponder the whole issue, and practice drawing lines. Yesterday, somebody called at the most inconvenient time, and I was actually able to say to him that it wasn’t a good time. It is amazing how difficult it is to say no to people! But if my gut feeling is saying one thing, and I don’t listen, and go against it, the consequences can be severe!

I believe that we are here to learn from everything that happens to us, and if we don’t learn, the body will suffer sooner or later. Right now, I’m in a one year, which is new beginnings. I pray that this whole nail issue will be like a new beginning for me, where I will no longer have unclear boundaries with the rest of the world. I’m grateful for the lessons…

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I’m reading a really cool book right now, called “Ask, and it is given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It is about the law of attraction, and how we create or attract things into our lives that match the level of our vibrations. For example, when we are depressed or angry, or we think that life sucks, we attract sucky things into our lives, and it basically confirms our frustrated thought vibration. If, however, you have a positive attitude and expect good things to happen, good things do happen.

Today, I read a piece where one sentence stuck with me.
They talked about how sickness comes when we hold a vibration that matches the essence of the sickness. They also said that if you can raise your vibration to a more positive level, the sickness simply cannot stay in your body any longer. This made me think – what about spring allergy? So many people suffer from spring allergy. What is the essence of this condition, and what thoughts matches it vibrationally?

To find the answer to this question, I used Michael Brill’s numerology approach:

SPRING ALLERGY
179957 1335977

Add these numbers up and you get 38 + 35 = 73/1

The negative vibration of 3 is lack of confidence and fear of being criticized, which makes you defensive. If you become defensive enough, you’ll defend yourself even against harmless substances, such as pollen, so this is the main essence of the spring allergy affliction.

The negative vibration of 5 is either being too rigid, or too flexible. In this case, it has to do with being too flexible, bending over backwards trying to please the one who might be criticizing…

The negative vibration of 7 is abandonment issues – if I don’t please the one who is criticizing, he or she might leave me…

The negative vibration of 8 is lack of power – feeling powerless…

And the negative of 1 has to do with a fragile ego, lack of boundaries..

So, you get the message – the person with spring allergy feels criticized, and reacts by bending over backwards trying to please someone out of fear of abandonment, and the result is total powerlessness, and a wiping out of their own sense of self. No wonder why allergy sufferers often end up with cancer in the end, since cancer is caused by completely losing your sense of self…

Anyway, the message in the Hicks book is that if you can raise your negative vibration to a place where it no longer matches your disease, the disease will simply dissolve.

So, how do we turn these thought patterns around? Well, we can look at the positive vibration of the numbers, and it will give us the clues:

The positive of 3 is confidence, and confidence can never come from an outside source. Yes, we feel good when we get praise from others, but this kind of praise is temporary at best. Therefore, we have to learn to praise ourselves. When you are happy with yourself, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Affirmation – I’m perfect, just as I am!

The positive of 5 is change and variety, and finding the balance between being fixed and being too flexible. In other words, we have to know where to draw the line, and when enough is enough. We no longer have to be focused on just pleasing others. We just have to please ourselves. Affirmation – If I please myself, it makes me happy.
This doesn’t mean that we have to be selfish and egoistic about it, because if we please ourselves on others behalf, the reaction we get back from the unhappiness of others, will still make us feel bad. So, we have to find a way to please ourselves without hurting others.

The positive vibration of 8 is to become powerful, but this power is not the power over others – it is an inner empowerment that only comes from connecting to source. Affirmation – when I’m connected to source, my power is unlimited!

The positive vibration of 7 is actually your connection to source. Affirmation – when I’m connected to source, I never feel abandoned! Therefore, it doesn’t matter who comes or goes in my life…

The positive vibration of 1 is new beginnings. The key is to stop protecting your ego – all you have to do is stop resisting, because when you can accept yourself totally, you are instantly aligned with the flow of your source energy, and you can simply allow yourself to go with the flow…

One of my clients told me that many years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. Instead of freaking out about it, and having poisonous radiation and chemo therapy done, she decided to meditate instead. After spending a year meditating and focusing on raising her vibration, her cancer was completely gone and has never returned since. This shows how changing your vibration can affect your health deeply, and it is also a very good reason why we must make an effort to stay out of negative thought patterns. The more those patterns become permanent, the higher the risk of disease developing…

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Here is my second tip on how to give yourself a natural face lift. Besides under eye bags, the thing that really shows your age more than anything else, is an under chin waddle – that loosening of the skin that we all dread!

There is actually an exercise you can do to tighten it up – I’ll mention it, even though I actually hate doing it. If you are motivated enough to get rid of the lose skin, here is what you do:

Lie on your bed on your back. Scoot yourself towards the edge of the bed until your head hangs over the edge. Lift your head until your neck is horizontal. Count to 45 (45 seconds). Put your head back and rest for 15 seconds. Then again, this time hold it for 30 seconds. Rest 15 seconds again. Then one more time, 15 seconds this time.

The first time you try this, you may not think you can do it, because it is really hard. It is amazing how heavy a head feels when you hold it horizontally!!! But if you keep it up, it will get easier daily. You can also expect to be very sore after the first time. But, hey, who cares, if it tightens up that turkey thing under your chin!

For the rest of us, who hates this exercise with a passion, there is still hope. Do you often sit at a table or computer? Do you sometimes support your head/chin in your left hand while doing stuff, or drinking your tea? If so, you can transform your supporting to exercizing instead, and nobody will know the difference except you!

Here is what you do:
Support your chin in your hand, like you normally do, only this time, tighten your neck muscles and push them against your hand. If you can do this without making weird faces, nobody will know that you are actually exercising your neck muscles, and this will also tighten your neck almost as much as the dreaded bed exercize.

Just think about it – by supporting your head and pressing against your hand, you can actually avoid having plastic neck surgery done, and still look good. It is all about enhancing your natural beauty with secret little tips and tricks that nobody else will notice. Have fun!

Visit my website for natural cosmetics products

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