Eye On Moms

Woken up by the whole family

2009-06-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

Today for the first time in a long time I have a free day. By free day I mean that I don't have to take anyone anywhere or do anything for anybody. Today everyone's meals are "easy to get yourself" meals. All dishes and cups are washed and easily accessible to all (still in the dishwasher). The little pool in the backyard is all filled and ready for a nice afternoon soak for all.

In a few words, today is going to be relaxing. I'll just float around with a smile on my face around happy people.

This is where you hear the record on the record player scratch backwards.

It's 11 am and this is what has happened so far.

I have been woken up repeatedly by the whole family. And by whole family I mean four children, two dogs, and two cats.

The house is trashed because children were nervous about being relaxed.

All the folded clean clothes and blankies in the bucket by my bed are dumped out and stepped on by Boris (my biggest baby who happens to be a Bullmastif) because I didn't get up when I was suppose to and he kept trying to wake me up.

There are also dirty paw prints on the edge of my bed because he had to make sure I was okay and paying attention.

Seraphina, (my little maltese) keeps attacking Boris, quite viciously I might add, for every move he makes, which is of course no deterent. She has yet to realize he can carry her in his mouth like the stuffed animals he carries around. He has yet to realize this as well.

My daughter's Webkinz bunny has a torn eyeball because Boris is nervous and hungry. No one fed him this morning and he is apparently out of food to top it all off.

Things are knocked over on every counter and tabletop imaginable because the cats (our two siamese) are apparently also out of food. Their glares and mews are both deafening.

Children are fighting because they've trashed the place, do not plan on cleaning up as apparently no one can agree on who trashed what. The mess is making them freak out. I am refusing to clean up the mess. So is everyone else.

I have yet to eat or take a shower. I've instead grabbed a CocaCola for breakfast to try to get into the mood of the day.

So, today. I'm going to have to go to the store to get dog and cat food (I should have planned better). I might as well return the movies to Blockbuster and get a new one or two to keep people occupied while "I" clean up and try to get rid of this headache.

I am feeling awesome! It's days like this that just make life worth while, isn't it?

My creations

2009-04-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

April 16th was my birthday. April 15th was my son's. Wonderful birthday gift I'd say. Though I sometimes wonder if we wouldn't have been born on the same day if I hadn't have screwed around with the caster oil a week before. Ask if you must, but it's a painful memory.

So speaking of birthdays and those born on one's birthdays, I do share mine with a special someone. You can find out who here: http://hubpages.com/hub/Charlie-Chaplin-and-Me and perhaps the following video I made and posted to YouTube will make more sense. Enjoy.

Minding the Baby

2009-04-11T02:02:00.000-07:00

Why is it that minding the baby is best done by mothers. I have to say I am fortunate enough to have a husband that does mind the baby and loves it. Well, he used to. When our first was born, he was more than happy to mind the baby. Spend quality time with him. Coo. Show major excitement at all the new little landmarks. Sure to let me in on all the new accomplishments and fascinating poop colors.

But somewhere along the way, things did change. Daddy went to work to make money at a job that gave him higher pay but longer hours. Cost of living went up. So did age. Lets face it, by the time the fourth came along, we were far too exhausted to see straight. It was easier to split chores based on time away from home. It was easier to follow routine. I did the womanly things and he did the manly things.

And after being at home all day with Mommy, solver of problems, teach of things, giver of hugs and kisses, well, it seems that children find habit and routine easier than switching gears.

Sad but true.

Fortunately, now that the children are a bit older, our roles have melded, most of the time anyway. This is a very good thing.

What's this got to do with Betty Boop?

The title, of course. That and the fact that things don't always go the way we expect them to despite it all. Especially when it comes to minding the baby.

Enjoy!

Sneaky Saturday Morning

2009-04-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke well before the children. Very unusual for a Saturday morning and I have to say this feels amazing! I feel a bit sneaky.

I feel especially sneaky because I watched... cartoons! Looney Toons cartoons, no less! Ones from when I was a kid! Not on tv, but via the twitt and blog and YouTube worlds.

Saturday morning cartoons is not something that my children have grown up enjoying. Sad but true. The kinds of cartoons that are offered now on a Saturday morning don't compare. And that's assuming you find them on the boob tube anymore; the good ones I mean.

You know what I'm talking about. Bugs, Daffy, Wiley E. Coyote, Elmer, Pepe le Peu... Now those were cartoons. Full of true cunning and social political issues, hysterical frustration, stupidity, and mockery. The stuff life ponderings and daydreams were made of.

So sad that almost a whole century worth of Saturday morning cartoons is almost a long gone thing of the past.

To watch some Looney Toons (in enlish and spanish) visit Saturday Morning Cartoons with Andrew T and Me.

Why Computer Time is a Pain in the Ass

2009-03-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

Computer time. Fought over. Thought of as unfair by those who feel as though their time has been jipped. Excuses are found as to why someone else shouldn't have theirs and why that time should be up for grabs.

It drives me insane.

It drives me batty.

I often find myself wanting to lock myself in my room so I don't have to answer confusing questions. In fact I keep my mouth shut most of the time when this type of goings on occur, until I absolutely have to open it. I get a phrase or two together and repeat it over and over again. This usually gets them more angry and frustrated. Gets them crying. Gets them asking why even more. They get more desperate with each passing second. It's usually when I'm in the middle of something. Which gets me more frustrated. Which is why I now stick to my phrase or two and repeat it over and over again. Believe me, I won't get caught in that insane web again.

In the end it works. It doesn't get them to shut up as fast as I'd like them to, but at least while they're arguing with me, the person on the computer gets their peace and quiet. Kids need that too. That peace and quiet, just themselves and their concentration. It's good for us, it's good for them.

My wish is to have a small laptop for each of them. Of their very own. Each a different color. Enough to be able to do their general things on it. Nothing fancy. But alas, that is costly. For four, very costly.

So until then, I'm sticking with my phrases. And an alarm clock. I stick to my guns, the only ones I have. Maybe one day, they'll realize mom was fair, mom taught us how to share and take turns and how to have the patience to give other people time, mom taught us how to find our own thing to do while waiting.

Doubtful, but maybe.

The Woman That's Just as Important as the Mom One

2009-02-08T18:13:00.000-08:00

Whether you're a stay at home mom, or a working mother, a single mother, or a wife, no matter how blessed or happy you feel with your day to day life, sometimes... you just need some childish fun with someone your own size.

Sure you have fun with your kids. You play games. You act silly. You're favorite song is one from Noggin. You play with your kids' toys. You gossip with your girlfriends. You have ice cream at unconventional times... All of that is wonderful, no matter how few and far between trash, laundry, dishes, "I said no", "because", and "we don't do that" those times may be.

But what about the "adult" child in you. The one that wants to dress up... for a night out on the town. The one that wants to masquerade with lipstick and jewelry? The one that wants the excitement of next moment possibilities, felt in the heart and in head to toe goosebumps? The one that wants to drink cocktails, in heels and a bustier?

That woman has needs too. That woman is just as important as the Mom one.

Every once in a while, this side of you needs to play, with someone else. Needs to dance, a little more on the wild side. Needs you to think about her. She may have more patience. And yes, you can hold her off more than you can your child. You can satiate her for longer periods at a time. But just because she's well behaved, doesn't mean that her good behavior should go unrewarded.

If you think you're doing your child a favor by setting aside the adult child in you, think again. Chances are they'll notice that bit of rose on your cheeks. They'll hear that laugh you had at remembering something that tickled you. They'll feel the softness in your voice that comes from being a woman, what got you to be a Mom in the first place.

So go ahead. It's okay. Make some memories of your own.

The Amount of Time I Spend in a Car Each Day Driving Children to and from Schools

2009-02-04T15:58:00.001-08:00

In the morning, on a good day, I only have to drive to two different schools, as opposed to three. Traffic, no matter when I get started or belated, is just as tricky. And may I just add, no one goes the right or the same speed limit, so gauging exact time goes beyond tricky to imposible.

If drive time is split, in the morning I spend one hour in the car. This does not include the sci-fi time warp that occurs somewhere between my front door and my parked car, losing me some much needed time. I believe this is an odd, chaotic, but true phenomena, as I am not alone in this crazy line of thought.

If I am the sole driver, my drive is split up and a half an hour is added. But this also means that I have to return home inbetween due to time lag in between first school, and second and third school, drop offs.

These times do not inclue having to go into the office to sign anyone in due to tardiness, which despite all efforts, appears to be an inevitablility. Don't ask me how. This also does not include someone forgetting an important item like a luch or fieldtrip items or homework or... These occurances can add up to an extra hour of drive time.

The afternoon is a more difficult task as it is all up to me. From 2:30 pickup to 3:00 pickup to 3:20 pickup times (of course this is not the exact times that children actually get into my car, it's when dismissal begins) I spend a total of one and a half hours if all goes smoothly. If there are serious traffic issues, catching of every red light, construction, stupidity, my time is butted up to two hours of driving, sitting, waiting, and I am forced to go inside of the school that should be my second, after I go to the third school. Confused? You should be, as I usually am.

So all in all I can spend three and a half hours in my car. This not including any half days that one or another child might have. This will add an extra half hour to 45 minutes depending on which school is having the half day, more if I've gone to the wrong school to pick up the wrong child. This happens three times a month.

Argh!

Think I could get a part time job with this split up schedule? Not a chance. I'd be fired in a week. Not to mention the fact that I would have to enroll my youngest in pre-school, adding an extra half hour to my days, and right in the middle to boot. This would allow me a maximum 2 hour part time job in the morning, assuming my youngest would be placed in the morning program. If it were the afternoon program, I MIGHT be able to hold onto a one hour part time job. Lovely.

And then of course there are the days they are sick. What do you do then? And of course the days you are sick.

At some point, if I didn't get fired, I'd quit, because it wouldn't be worth it.

So, my life Monday through Friday minus holidays and sick days? Driving, parking, waiting, signing in, signing out, and the most exciting part of it all... feeling my butt grow for three and a half plus hours every day.

And if you think I look as good in my car as the lady in the photo above, think again. If I'm super lucky, I get to shower in the morning. If I'm even luckier, I have enough time to pick out something that actually matches while at the same time feels comfortable.

Ah, lucky me.

P.S. I know for a fact that I have it MUCH better than a lot of mom's out there. Just to let those of who who have it worse, I sympathize, I'm sorry, and I'm really really really glad I'm not in your shoes.

Relics Between the Floor Planks

2009-01-15T08:25:00.000-08:00

Found interesting relics between the floor planks. Scraps of Play-doh, their smell long lost, can be found in the cracks between the floorboards. Some were kicked in, some smooshed in; some, I suspect, found momentum from a swipe of the foot, and, seizing their opportunity, hid, like soldiers in army trenches.

Imagine Me, A Hot Commodity ~ Mom Almighty

2009-01-10T12:09:00.000-08:00

I have decided that I am a hot commodity. If you're a mom, you probably are too. And if you don't know this about yourself, get to knowing this, and fast. Your life will be a lot easier when you admit to this fact.

Ever notice that nothing can get done without you being there? Like, physically there? This is unfortunate, and I do mean unfortunate. I wish that I could tell my children, "Okay, I need to get the vacuuming done today. So You, make sure there's nothing on the floor. You, make sure stuff is put away where it belongs. You..." and that they would actually do it. Without my being there. Without my repeating myself. Without my hair graying and my feet swelling as I stand there like a fool expecting it to actually happen. It's NOT going to happen, at least not in the near future I can tell you that. Not if I'm not there with them, holding their hand evey step of the way.

My children are all fully capable of getting things done on their own. Imagine four people doing the job of one. Things could not only get done, but could get done fast. You and I both know this. I mean really, they each have their special talents. They each have extra energy. Not to mention superpowers galore (at least They think they do). I really could be living in a spotless world at every moment of every day. So could you. And so could they.

Apparently, they don't care about this simple fact. Apparently, it's Someone Else's mess. You know Someone Else, that seventh child you squeazed out right before all the messes started happening? You know who I'm talking about now. Someone Else is invisible, so it's easy to look them over. I do it all the time. Please, like we were born yesterday.

Honestly, though, it goes beyond their not caring. They need us, and things like this are just one of the many things we have to take a deep breath over and accept. We're a hot commodity. Us moms know this deep inside, we just really don't want to admit it when just being able to put our feet up in a nice clean room, that we didn't have to clean ourselves because we didn't make the mess in the first place, is so within reach we can taste it. You're tired, your beat, your tits are still sore from 8 years ago. Who can blame you? Certainly not me.

So, as much as we dislike it, okay, hate it, we need to be in the middle of the cleaning up and doing with them. They learn from us, after all. Our attitudes can change their attitudes in a moments notice. No matter how old or experienced they are, it gives them a bit of joy to know that mom is still there for me and she always will be. And we all want our kids to be happy. It's our number one wish, isn't it?

Bottom line? It's not because they don't want to. It's not even because they can't. And it's certainly not just because they enjoy making you mad and not listening to you. It's because when you're there, everything feels normal. You're a hero. You're their comfort. You're, well, Mom Almighty. And you make everything a-o-kay.

Reminisce the Past

2009-01-02T03:44:00.000-08:00

So it is the new year. I'm setting into it just fine as I've had a lovely headache for two days now, which is NOT, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you view the matter,) due to a hangover. The lovely sound of children crying more than usual fills the air. And I have been lucky enough to partake in more pizza and carryout food than most feel bearable.

My home could use a bit of work in the cleaning department. My little doggy, Seraphina, has, on more than one joyous occasion, entertained with tissues, some used, some not. She does know how to throw a party, I have to give her that much.

The New Year has brought with it an artistic streak, which my children have relished in wholeheartedly. Walk into any room of the house and you will find grand masterpieces. You will also find an artists tools and discarded scraps on floors, couches, chairs, tables, counters... Unfortunately, like most artists, their motto is creativity before cleanliness. I thoroughly understand this, but please.

I have no New Years resolutions. I never do. However, I do have quite a few things that I am thankful to reminisce upon from years past:

Love

Laughter

Humor

Family

Friends

Chaos

Excedrin

All things I would never want to do without.

One Mom's Journal ~ Lengths We Go to Please Our Children, and the Miracles We Find Therein

2008-12-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

My three year old son brought me the phone the other day and said, between breaths of air, "Mama, call insectsinside and tell them to bring a bug for in the house so it can fly around and I can watch it!"

Did I hear right? I said, "Call who?" He explained again, this time it was more urgent. His trying to get the words out between breaths slowed him down and gave me enough time to consider my next move.

Hmmm. Should I tell him there is no such thing as Insects Inside? Should I steer him into something else? Maybe take him outside to search for bugs he can watch through his viewer? Where did he get an idea like this, anyway?

I had gotten this far in my wondering when I heard him say, "I jusht want a black beetle so that it can fly around and I can watch it. One with pinchers and then we can feed it. Jusht a black beetle. her, here's the phone to call Insects Inside."

Without really thinking about the consequences, I picked up the phone and proceeded to "dial" Insects Inside. (Any number will do as long as the receiver is down.)

"Hello, Insects Inside? Hi, yes, this is Mrs. Richardson." I gave them our address. "Yes, hi, how are you? Great. We were hoping to get a beetle delivered sometime this evening. yes, a black one; not too big, not too small; with pinchers, please. You do? Great. Super. Ahuh. Fine, we'll see you then. Thank you."

Needless to say, my son was ecstatic! He bombarded me with questions. "Are they coming now? Are they here? Will they bring the beetle? Let's find some food for the beetle. What's that noise? Is that our beetle?"

It seemed I had made a promise, and god forgive me if I couldn't keep it. Now came the really fast thinking, the just in case I can't come through for you thinking. "Well, I called Insects Inside and they said that they would have to check to see if there was a black beetle with pinchers left. They are very popular you know. Someone is suppose to bring one back tonight so they will bring that one if nothing happened to it."

There, this would buy me time.

"Oh," he said. "And it will come and it will fly around in the house there and there and there?" his little finger pointed all around the room. "Are they here yet?" He felt mature and in control. His face was as serious and confident as could be.

I know what you're thinking. how can a mother lie to her child like that? And where is she going to find someone to deliver a black beetle, not too small, not too big. Or even worse... is she really going to let a black beetle fly around in her home?

Here's your answer. Ever heard of Santa Clause? The Easter Bunny? The Tooth Fairy? Birthday wishes? Besides, what harm can be had with a bug? And why not? Why can't there be an Insects Inside for all those little entomologists running around?

My number one duty as a mother? Do what you can to get the job done and let your kids know that their dreams are important and that they can come true. My second duty? Get Dad involved.

"I'll call Papa and tell him about Insects Inside. you wait here and tell me if someone knocks on the door." with that, I went onto the balcony and called my husband. He could find something on his way home from work.

But the unfortunate happened. I couldn't get a hold of him. I kept trying. I began to panic. I was doomed. My whole plan was doomed from the start.

Time passed. I kept my three year old occupied with all sorts of crafts and games and songs.

Later in the evening, I was charmed with a little blessing in disguise. My son pointed to the wall in front of him and said, "Look, Mama! A spider! On the wall there."

"How wonderful," I said. Relief shot through me. Our first spider of the season. Thank goodness this was not an everyday occurrence. I knew what my next move would be and prayed it wouldn't cause tears.

I talked fast. I couldn't afford to get cut off. "I bet I know! Insects Inside probably didn't have a black beetle because the people that borrowed one didn't return it yet so they brought you a spider instead! they'll probably bring the beetle another time."

"When did they come? I didn't hear the door."

Uh oh. Quick. Quick. "They must have come when I was giving you a bath! How super! Aren't you excited?! It's even making a web!"

"Yeah, I do see it's web." I smiled beamed across his face. "I'm so ex-psychic!"

It had worked. My enthusiasm had done its job. For the next two days, our little boy was a house spider watcher.

Whatever happened to the black beetle I was promised? Well, it had an accident and had to go to the hospital so it would be a while before we got to borrow him; and yes, I'm sure his hospital had lots of videos for him to watch just like at the Children's Hospital.

And yes, the best things in life... are free.

Prologue: A week later a huge butterfly flew into my husband's work. He put it in a container and called me up right away to tell me that I needed to call Insects Inside to tell them that Papa would be coming by after his work to pick up a butterfly for his little boy. And I did. And it was a great night.

Bugs have pincers not pinchers but we didn't work on correcting this until later.

Why a Little Me Time With Nature is Good For Your Child

2008-12-24T09:00:00.000-08:00

Zaphron and Ana / Garden of the Gods, CO

My son is eleven years old and in the fifth grade. Fortunately for us, his school teaches outside the box, and focuses on teaching through exploratory and life learning themes and activities. Each year they go on short campouts until they hit middle school. That's when the real fun begins. They've learned more and have prepared more, and are ready, finally, in the fifth grade, for a whole week of wilderness (longer and more often in seventh and eighth grades). Parents were asked to make an entry in their child's journal expressing any feelings or concerns about this long amount of time away from home in the middle of nowhere, and what they want their child to come away with. Here was my response.

I have not had too much time to think about the five days my son will have away from me. In my mind, I have written and rewritten this journal entry, subconsciously for days. I will continue to rewrite it for the rest of my life. Here is why...

This will be the first time Zaphron will be away from us for such a long period of time. This is the main reason. It is, I think, that attachment to his physical presence that makes this fact so difficult to think about fully. Yet at the same time there is no question in my mind that now is the perfect time in his life for all this to be happening.

In thinking about this separation business, theoretically speaking, children are away from their families and are with their peers and teachers, or are sleeping, longer than they are with their families. This is true even if you include weekends into the scenario. Ah, but here comes the tricky part: We as parents know (usually, hopefully) where they are, what they are doing, who they are with, their routine. We know how to get to them, what route we can take, how long it will take… You get the picture. It all stems from the known and the “routine”. We think about the worst case scenarios and we have experienced enough, in one way or another, and thought things through enough; so that we have a rough idea of the things that might happen, the worst that can happen, and we are, if you will, “routine”ly prepared. Most of us do not have that mental preparation ability when it come to natural wilderness environments, not to mention longer than normal distance from your child is a fright in general.
For Zaphron, nature is familiar. It is sought after. It is hands on as well as introspective. It is explored, but even more so, it is unexplored. Nature is filled with excitement and always will because of its unknowns, just like life. I want him to realize the similarities between the two.

Some of his main concerns now are: do I have enough clothes to bring, enough socks, and “It’s the longest I've ever been away; you won’t see me for five days!” (The latter quote in response to why I originally wrote that, “In the scheme of things, five days is not a long time.”) I had to explain that it is the second week of vacation that "vacation" really sinks into your bones; not to mention 5 days out of a lifetime is a miniscule amount of time compared to the length of time (and perhaps space) that he will really be away from me, one day. Those were the closest examples I could think of to compare with at that moment. In retrospect I see that I could have also told him that it is the second week of school that things start to feel normal; this would have possibly been a more tangible explination to him.

At any rate, for everything that any of us have had to say about this trip, from first thought, to planning and preparing, to actually doing it, it all brings me back to nature. It is from nature that we take examples, explanations, motivations, make correlations, (I could go on forever). One could also say that that it mirrors life, growth, development, etc.

And so my goal for Zaphron is that he experiences and lets things happen; takes it all in without worrying; that he enjoys, relaxes, and appreciates. This will be a physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, real life experience of his very own; with others that will have their very own experiences. I want him to one day realize that it is this full experience (from all this planning and thinking and preparing, to the time he comes home again, and for a while after) that will act as a guide in his life, will help sculpt his decisions, will help him plan and react to life, and will be the source of so many correlations and understandings in the future. He will continually "find himself" in part because of this time, this "wilderness experience".

So I will probably read over this in my mind and change things here and there and find better words and so on and so forth. While he is gone I will probably go over my emotions a million and one times too. I am certain of a few things, however. For a start, both of us will grow and have much to share when it’s all said and done. And perhaps, at least as far as time away from each other goes, we will both be a little more prepared about eight to ten years from now.

Coming back was quite the culture shock for all of them. But this was a good thing. It sometimes takes extremes to make an impression.

I have to say, they looked wonderful. Their skin was fresh and rosy, they were calm, gentle, relaxed in demeanor, thoughtful. This was a wonderful thing. They had transformed. They were natural children. Their "peace" with life and themselves was wonderful to behold. Now if only they could stay that way...

Ana / third grade campout

Present Wrapping and Christmas Cards

2008-12-24T05:31:00.000-08:00

New years eve day and I spent all night wrapping. Lots of Pepsi and determination got me through. The kids knew what I was doing though. They were good enough not to come downstairs, however they were still up at one when my husband went up. All I can say is, at least they were quiet and let's hope it stays gloomy and rainy out so they can sleep in!

I realized that I sent out no Christmas cards this year. To anyone! I'm trying to think, just now, when I would have had the time. Well, let's see... When I was wiping behinds? When I was getting everyone bathed? When I was making sure all the pets had food and water? Okay stop. How about the quiet times? Well, there were those times I chose to sleep, shower, and potty (no, ixnay shower and potty, there was always someone there so that doesn't count as a quiet time). And sleep, well, I got a bare minimum so I can't say I would have chosen to do otherwise. Oh, well, there was that time... Nope. Okay, well, I guess people didn't get their Christmas cards this year.

Coming Soon!

2008-12-24T00:36:00.000-08:00

Frieda has her eye on moms, and she has got a lot to say. Look for more posts in the coming days!