Last night, I put on my thigh high zebra socks, a teeny tiny skirt and matching triangle bikini top.  I slid and dragged, lifted and popped, circled and shook — until the air shimmered with my warm breath.  The room was dark, tinged with red.  The music was heavy, beating with the rhythm of the earth and my heart.  The pole was shiny and glorious, as it should be.

The rest of the world fell away.  No more worries.  No more bills.  No more work.  No more drama or bullshit.  Just me and the heat of the moment.

The where, the when, the how, and especially the why — don’t apply anymore.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This is my time to tease life into being. A time when my body knows exactly what to do and my brain disappears in mindless movement.  It’s my time to be a woman filled with soft thoughts.  To be a rocker chick who just needs to shake her hair.  Eventually, time disappears, lost in translation between body, soul, and dance.

I let my toes drag and take a step, shifting my weight to settle against the walls.  Slowly, slowly, letting my body drip down to the floor.  I move along every surface, letting my fingers barely touch the edges.  I paint the room with my essence and settle into my true self.  It feels as if the dance becomes me and we disappear into each other.

Sensual dance arouses your true self out of it’s logic bound cage.

You feel compelled to explore the world around you, though sensation, through experience, through sound and motion.  Without the prison of thought, life becomes an infinite moment extending out for eternity, with the joy of your senses to guide you step by step.  You realize that you can’t force your sensual nature, you must tease and tickle it, hold it in rapture with a nuzzle and a wink.  If you are willing, you can open your body to the dark places in order to find the light within.  It’s hiding because it likes to play, counting the moments until you find it, with a delicious pounce and a barrage of giggles.

You can’t depend on someone else to discover your sensual self.

It’s a game where nobody but you knows the rules.

Anyone can show you the technique. Anyone can demonstrate the trick. Anyone can direct your body and guide your thoughts…. but only you can accept the emotions that arise.  The power of life is to show you the puzzle and ask if you wish to solve it.  It takes courage to embrace and accept every part of your true self because there will always be parts that you don’t know…. yet.

You can’t know the future.  You can only see the glimmer of your soul when you let go of the past, and give in to the full experience of this moment.

What are you waiting for?

This is your personal invitation to dance, to live, to beckon and blow kisses in the wind, to tease the world until it gives you exactly what you want.

It’s time to throw on your silky thigh high nylons, your red heels, or nothing at all and wink back.   It’s time to dance, NOW!

How do you tap into your sensual nature & what does it feel like? Please share your opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings Coming down is the hardest thing

Yes, I am a child of the 80s & 90s, but more importantly (and less age related), I was thinking of how luscious it felt to fly around my pole for the first time (and every time thereafter).  I remembered how much time I spent trying to force something that now feels effortless and filled with joy. Before, I would fight through my entire practice session, kicking and jumping into my flying tricks (a painful & damaging mistake)… with the result that I looked more like a fish flailing wildly through the air, instead of the beautiful undulating ribbon of a woman’s body that I envisioned.

Now, I happily take flight as gravity begs for mercy (depending slightly on pole grip).  But I feel a little sorrow when I think of how much energy I wasted frowning, stomping in frustration, and soothing the never ending bruises from bashing the pole in my arm, back, or butt AGAIN.

And I want to save you that frustration if I can.  Needless to say, flying is different depending upon the specific trick, whether its a one handed front hook, a reverse plank, or a flying dragon… But let’s consider it from both a physical and a philosophical viewpoint.

Physically, you need strength and lots of it.

To fly, you need strength to hold your shoulders down.  Strength to support your body with your rhomboids.  Strength to maintain a solid abdominal core that protects your spine while your body swirls and curves around the pole.

You also need control.  Control in your hands (because the death grip you’re using now is only going to strain your forearms).  Control of your hips so you know when to sweep your legs and when to stop.  And control of your fear.  Because fear is the little death that kills your dreams slowly. Fear wants to be the star of YOUR show.  But, YOU are the main attraction here.  Your fear isn’t even the understudy.

Accept your fear, but don’t be impressed by it, and it will dissolve into the background.

Your instructor should be able to help you with everything physically.  Whether you are working with a live person or a video, she should address all of your questions about technique, strength, and control.  Plus, she must discuss fear; how to recognize it and how to work beyond it.

Because, You won’t learn to fly until you realize you can.

Philosophically you need to release the outer world and become comfortable with your inner world…(Um, what the hell does that mean?!)

Consider a bird in flight.  As a bird begins to fly, it flaps it’s wings with strength, control, and technique.  Then it spreads it’s wings as far as it can and lets go.  It doesn’t fight the air currents, it finds the air currents and glides on them. Allowing knowledge and instinct to work together in harmony. The bird in flight recognizes the outer world (air, wind speed, height, etc) and rests in the deep seated internal belief that it has flown before and it can fly again.

You need the same belief.  The funny thing is, I know how close you are to flying right now.  It’s moments away, locked in your mind behind your fears.  Maybe you need to polish your control or build your strength a little more… but once you start to believe in yourself– strength, control, technique and flight will be close behind.

But you can’t force yourself to believe, because resistance only creates more resistance.

So what can you do?

You can pretend you believe until you convince yourself (not my favorite method, but some people have success with this one) or

You can recognize and celebrate every small step you take.  (Progress is progress whether your inner critic likes it or not.  And every small step proves that if you continue to follow the path you’re on, flying is an eventuality) or

You can just say fuck it.

You can set aside an hour to dance with joy and stop worrying whether or not flying tricks are in your future.  You can enjoy spending time with your shiny pole, knowing that you are a woman, tits to toes.  You can start giving in to the sensual nature in your heart.  You can start touching that inner world, feeling the comfort and freedom of resting within yourself, being whoever you are in that single, perfect moment. You can experiment with the external world of control, strength, and technique and simply invite your soul to play along.

Practice is what you do with your body, while your mind and soul learn to fly beyond your fears.

Are you ready to soar?

How did you overcome your fear of flying? What’s your favorite flying trick? Please share your opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

Oh god.  I am on a rampage.  If I have to read one more pole article that says  “if you notice pain in your wrists or shoulders after pole dancing, just make sure you use the other side” I might just scream.  Really, no REALLY?

Come on pole advice authors, please consult a physiologist or a book on progressive exercise training.  You can’t just “use the other side.”

You have to figure out where the injury came from in the first place or all you will be doing is INJURING THE OTHER SIDE!  Even better, figure out how to avoid the injury in the first place.

Proper Form before Playful Action

Yes, overuse is a major concern with pole dancing, but even more critical is improper form during overuse.  And perhaps, the student simply hasn’t built enough strength for that particular trick yet.  Pole instructors & students should consider these questions…

• Can you point out when your rotator cuff, rhomboids, lats, or core muscles are activated and in use?
• Do you know why the rhomboid muscles are critical to every spin you do?
• Do you know why you should NOT let your body hang from your rotator cuff muscles? (HINT: they are small *support* muscles that help you avoid dislocating your shoulder)
  
• Do you know how to ensure that your abdominal muscles are properly positioned to carry most of the weight, instead of just using your shoulder?
• Do you know how to develop these muscles BEFORE depending upon them to hold your body suspended off the floor?
  

I’m a big believer in building body balance into my training sessions: which means that I train every student to execute every spin in both the right and left hand directions. This technique balances the use of muscles on both sides of the body and does help avoid overuse. HOWEVER… my main concern is that each student understands the proper body form for each trick first. And even before learning the trick, we use strength training to develop the appropriate muscle groups.  This is called EXERCISE PROGRESSION  and I believe it’s a fundamental requirement of pole dance training.

My general method of exercise progression looks like this;

1. Learn which muscles you need to activate to accomplish the trick with both strength & flexibility
2. Learn how to activate these muscles in a safe environment, meaning with BOTH feet on the floor at a minimum.  (You don’t want to be upside down & suddenly ask yourself “Gee, where is my foot supposed to hook?” unless you like debilitating head injuries.)
3. Learn how to place your body into the appropriate form.  What goes where first?
4. Build strength in the key muscles while using the proper form & appropriate range of motion.
5. Learn the trick.
6. Over time, your body will develop an intuitive muscle memory for the proper form and you can learn the small changes that take a trick from enticing to delicious to breathtaking.

Make every step playful and fun along the way.

You can build abdominal strength with pelvic circles, pelvic isolation, and the fabulously flirty hurricane.  You can build flexibility in your hips with some seriously sexy booty popping exercises.  You can learn the proper body form for spins while you’ve got both feet on the floor doing some wonderfully *naughty* transitions called chugging.  (Think Ginger from Gilligan’s Island meets Betti Page, ROWR!)  These are some of my favorite dance moves, and I make sure my students know them so they can enjoy their strength, stamina, flexibility and sensuality all at the same time.

Progressive training can help make sure you don’t develop an injury from improper form OR overuse.  Progressive training can also help previously injured pole dancers recover their abilities and their strengths without getting injured again. Injury is a critical issue for the pole dancing community that I talk about with every new student. Your instructor should be able to discuss both recovery & modification options that are customized for you.

For your pole dance training, please search out an instructor who understands these things.  I learned to teach progressive pole training from Shawn Francis Lee, a classically trained dancer, a personal trainer, and a 20 year veteran of exotic dancing; and from Greg Welch, an exercise physiologist, faculty member of Cal State Fullerton, and AFAA board member.

If learning to pole dance is hurting you, then find out why.

First talk to your doctor or a physiologist and follow their advice.  Then speak to a knowledgeable pole instructor who understands your injury and can help you return to pole dancing with safety & with strength (and the permission of your doc).

I implore you, my beautiful fellow exotic dancers and awe inspiring aerialists, please, please, please don’t just “use the other side.”

Do you believe in Progressive Training? Have you ever had a pole dancing injury? Please share your opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

In an effort to understand both sides of the Pol’ympics Debate, I decided to compile a list of the related articles that were written by people WITHIN our pole dancing community.  I ignored all articles outside our community, whether they were pro or con Pole Dancing in the Olympics, simply because the majority of them were either general news, studio promotion articles, or derogatory to pole dancing in any form.

What I found is rather surprising.  Although many people feel strongly about this topic, there are very few people who are speaking about it publicly.  Most articles for Pole Dancing in the Olympics were created either within one of the pole dancing federations or by a journalist who had read the petition.  What I have NOT found is instructors and performers giving THEIR passionate reasons for promoting pole dancing in the Olympics. This obviously concerns me.

I feel VERY strongly about this art form.  I feel VERY strongly about how it is portrayed in the media.  I know I’m not alone in these feelings of passion and concern (as evidenced by the reported 4000 petition signatures).  I certainly see other Pole Leaders speaking publicly about why they DON’T want Pole Dancing in the Olympics.  But, why can’t I find the impassioned blogs of those who DO want Pole Dancing in the Olympics?

Yes, I see the petitions … Yes, I see the politically correct documents… Yes, I see the press releases.  I want to understand your opinion, but more importantly, I want to hear it without the legal mumbo jumbo and PR material.  How can the Pole Associations expect to develop or standardize the pole dancing industry if they aren’t speaking to US, the pole dancers? More importantly, how will society (& the Olympic committee) respond to a petition when there is little to no PUBLIC discussion within our community?

Forget about the Olympics for a minute.  Many pole dancing associations are hoping to standardize pole trick names and develop pole safety regulations.  But how are you going to explain your reasons for defining one trick as a fireman spin instead of a skater spin?  How are you going to convince me to use a 4 inch thick pole mat instead of the aerial & gymnastic standard 6 inch thick mat?

How are these Pole Leaders going to communicate and discuss their platform or their opinions to the pole dancing community? I WANT to know the awesome ideas you have for developing, changing, maybe even revolutionizing The Art of Pole Dancing.  And I want to have a healthy, open debate about it.

So, whether you are For Pole Dancing in the Olympics, Against Pole Dancing in the Olympics, or On The Fence… if you send me a link to your blog with your Pol’ympic opinion (not an article written by a journalist please) then I’ll post it here.

I applaud those pole leaders who have posted their opinion no matter which side of the debate they are on.  My goal with this article is to encourage this discussion in an effort to build a platform of open communication… because Pole & Exotic Dance is a very young industry (compared to gymnastics, aerial, ballet, bellydance, etc.) and we’ve got a LOT to talk about. We’re all listening….

For Pole Dancing in the Olympics

• KT Coates – Pole Dancing in the Olympics
• Pole in the Olympics Teaser video – Pole in The Olympics
• Pole Fitness Association -  Olympic Effort
• Interview of Collette Kakuk – Pole Dancing Will Need a Makeover for the Olympics
• Kylea Killeen – Pole Dancing in the Olympics
  

Against Pole Dancing in the Olympics

• Jamilla Deville – Polympics
• Adam Jay – Pole Dancing in the Olympics
• Bubble & Facebook group manifesto – Pole Dancers who DON’T want Pole to be in the Olympics
• and my own article – No, I won’t sign your Pol’ympics Petition
• Kristen (Dolphin Dance) – Pole “Dance” in the Olympics

On The Fence

• Claire Griffin Sterrett – Olympic Size Debate
• PoleSkivvies – Pole Dancing in the Olympics
• Polespection by Journey – Olympics???
• Lori Meyers – Weighing in on the Debate
• Climb & Spin – Pole Dancing In the Olympics? Yay or Nay?
  

BTW, if you want to see some of the non-pole blogs I didn’t include because they were derogatory check out this link.  I caution you that many of these bloggers don’t understand our industry or our art form AT ALL.  But I’m including the link to be complete.

Please share your (respectful and honest) opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

Ladies, you know I love the art of pole dancing, the delicious joy of moving a sensuous curvy feminine body.  But I cannot and will not sign or support Pole Dancing in the Olympics. You can throw sticks and stones if you disagree, but names will never hurt me.

Truly, I can’t understand why our community feels the need to “legitimize” pole dancing as a sport.  Pole dancing is about reconnecting with our lost femininity.  It’s about discovering that we don’t need to be afraid of the natural curves of our body.  It’s about learning and expressing our true sensual style in a safe and caring environment. When we each discovered pole dancing, something about this movement captured our hearts and titillated our senses.  I know the ladies who created this petition understand that, but I really don’t see how developing it into an Olympic sport will maintain that passionate spirit.

Why must pole dancing be “legitimized?”  Is the passion and intensity you feel while dancing “legitimate”?  Is the stretch you feel in your legs and back as you invert & brush your hand across your hips a luscious expression of your life… or is it “legitimate”?  I don’t care if society defines it as “legitimate”…when I dance, I feel what I feel.   I understand why the world of corporations and bureaucracy needs legitimate documents, legitimate processes, and legitimate products…..  but we don’t need that kind of distinction here.

In fact, I feel a certain amount of anger that someone might take this beautiful art form and scrub it of it’s sensual feminine components — Because that is the only way it will be accepted by the Olympic masses.  No more heels, no more booty shorts, no more bodystrings.   No more pelvic circles or hair whipping.  And I’m sure the Olympic panel won’t allow you to let your fingers glide along your curves either.  God forbid you touch your own body!

Perhaps the pole community is trying to find a way to expose more people to our beautiful art form?  But, most pole studios only allow students that are 18 years and older for a reason.  You can’t ignore the roots of this dance, which come from aerial, acrobatics, circus, bellydance, and STRIPPING. I’m not ashamed of those roots and I don’t want to remove the flavor and style that those roots impart.  I want to share it with others BECAUSE of that fabulous flavor and sexy style.

Maybe I feel this way because I’m a pole DANCER instead of a pole TRICKSTER…. Because I focus on the feminine, sensual, dance aspect of this beautiful art form instead of it’s athletic/gymnastic aspects…. Because I prefer continuous movement that celebrates the seamless transitions and emotional expression of life just as much as the gorgeous variety of tricks.

Would you call Cirque Du Soleil a sport?  Would you call Ballet a sport? Would you call BellyDance a sport?  Or would you need them “legitimized” as a sport?  I would call them art.  The expression of art is about how it makes the artist and the audience feel — not about how many points the artist can earn.

Obviously, gymnastics is defined as a sport. And if all they want is to take the gymnastic aspect of pole dancing into the Olympics, then I wish them luck.  But, this will completely take the DANCE out of it; and I respectfully request that they don’t call it pole DANCING anymore.  Call it Pole Gymnastics or Gymnastics Pole.  A little vocabulary change could make a big difference.

I realize I’m a small voice in a minority here, and my interest isn’t to incite a flame war on my blog.  I very much understand why other pole dancers are trying to share our movement with the world, I just don’t agree with the way they wish to do it. In fact, I’m actually in tears now, hoping some of you will understand how precious this dance form is to me.  It’s a beautiful movement that has helped me create a life of playfulness, confidence, and sensuality.  It’s a major reason why I’m not afraid of my body or my sexuality anymore.

Pole & Exotic Dance has opened me up to the inherent sensual nature of life and my path within that life as a woman (instead of the androgynous person trying to be “better than a man” that I used to be).  I don’t want to steal the athletic Pole Trickster’s right to share her awesome gymnastic ability with the world, but I don’t want someone to take away my ART of Pole & Exotic Dance either.

So, I urge you to consider how pole dancing will change, before you sign a “Pole Dancing in the Olympics” petition. Is this really the best way to share this art form with the world around you, when there are so many other ways.  I believe it’s as simple as turning to the woman sitting next to you and telling her your amazing story.  I know I’d love to hear it.

Do You disagree?  Please share your (respectful and honest) opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

I was lamenting on the state of the pole dancing industry when someone asked me why I focus so strongly on being a pole DANCER instead of a pole TRICKSTER (someone who focuses on athletic pole tricks without transitions).

Although I recognize how wonderful pole fitness can be when a woman develops her gymnastic ability and strength, I am not in that camp.  I do not and will not ever just teach a pole trick.  I believe it is the transitions between the tricks that connect a woman with her sensual nature, not just the trick itself. If I cannot evoke an emotional response throughout my dance, then I’m not interested in dancing; and serial pole tricks do not evoke emotion in me.

Whenever I see a pole Trickster, I find my mind wandering.  Yes, the flawless execution is impressive.  Yes, the difficulty is obvious.  But it’s still the same tricks, over and over and over again.  Instead of noticing the way she accentuates the curve of her hip or the luscious shadow of the hair falling down her back, I consider her gymnastic execution; her fitness & stretching routine, her training regimen.  Of course she is beautiful, impressive even, but I want to see the movement of life breathing through her, the spark of humanity, the hypnotic fire of creativity that burns through a dancer. I know it’s there, but I just can’t see it.

I certainly agree that being a pole Trickster is a great way to get in shape.  It’s a phenomenal and powerful activity that many awesome and wonderful woman do with their bodies.  But it’s not what I want.  And to answer the question of why, I wrote this response to a friend of mine.  It’s rather raw, and starts off with a doozy, but if you wanted butterflies and lily pads, you probably wouldn’t be reading my blog anyway.

Fuck pole dancing, but not in the way you think.

The pole is a prop, a gimmick.  It’s the feeling of pure sensuality that I am after.  The afterglow of the dance is like the afterglow of sex.  I want to feel beautiful, luscious, delicious.  Circles of erotic bliss.  I want the space to be vulnerable again.

I tire of being hard. Hard at work, hard at home, hard in traffic. I am not a man and have no wish to be.  I am the force that bends instead of breaks; the life that flows instead of shatters.  My heart is transparent because my tears fill it’s soul.

Being at work fights my nature. No, I fight my nature when I’m at work.  My lover requests for my return to dance.  He wishes to see what only a woman in raw movement can show him.  But this vision, this truth is available only when a woman remembers herself.  She experiences life with flaws, weaknesses, strength, mistakes, emotions, and creation.

Reality is not about perfection; this is man’s lie, one he tells himself.  The sun, moon, and stars have NEVER given us perfection, only natural cosmic coincidence.  All things work in harmony because of their inherent chaos.

You want proof?  –  I am proof.

I am a living contradiction, strength and weakness personified in one body.  A living mass of confusion that somehow remains in balance and lives — breathes even.  Whereas a rock, a flawless diamond with the most intricate and perfect structure, highly prized for this logical and regular pattern of atoms, lacks a soul.

The one requirement of life is that it is NEVER perfect, never done.  No matter how many times it has tried, life must continue the struggle or give up.

Enjoy your struggle, your dance of sensuality, and recognize the amount of passion you nurture to be truly ALIVE each and every day.

Do You disagree? Share your ideas in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

I was reading an article from my sweet friend Poleskivvies about how posting videos to Youtube has made her suddenly body conscious and feeling the need for therapy. And I felt compelled to plunk my big ass down on the therapy couch right next to her.

Jennifer says…

“God, how I hate telling you this. Why? Because it’s a body image thing. And I’m supposed to be over that. I’m supposed to be all confident in how I look and never have a weak moment about it. Yea, right.”

Now, you all know how much I love my ass.  I talk about it all the time.  How it used to be bigger, and now it’s a bit smaller, but still rather curvy.  And I freaking love how it makes me feel like a real woman.  Sometimes I even wax poetic about it (although I usually keep most of my ass poems to myself).  But I want to share how I feel about my ass (and my body) when I make a video.  The process goes something like this…

[before making the video]
Yeah! I’m going to make a video tonight.  I’m so excited.  I’ve got my camera and lighting set up.  And a new playlist to help me fly around that pole.  Ready, Set, Go!

[while making the video]
I’m dancing and I don’t care if there’s a camera over there.  Fuck that camera.  I don’t have to post this.  This is for me.

[after making the video]
ooh, that felt so awesome. I can’t wait to watch it.  I want to watch it NOW.

[2 seconds after starting to watch the video]
Jeez.  Why didn’t somebody tell me that I suck.  I mean, seriously, look at my butt.  How many freaking biscuits did I have to eat over the holidays to make my ass look so damn huge.  And that invert was awful.  Dammit.  I knew I wasn’t doing enough ab work lately.  I hate my abs!  They look so mushy.  ugh.  I can’t post this shit.  Forget it.  I’m never making another video again.

At this point in the process, I pretty much hate everything I see

I usually roll my eyes, stand up from my desk in a huff, and go take a shower to calm me down and clean off the sweat from (what I thought before I saw the video) was a great pole session.

And then epiphany, self realization, I kill the Buddha

After the shower, I realize that I just spent 2 hours dancing, flying, twirling, and whirling.  That it felt pretty damn good to challenge myself.  That I love being creative, even if it means messing up an old trick because I’m trying to do something new.  And that I’m definitely going to do all that awesome shit again, because I’m totally fucking addicted to playing on a 9 foot tall metal pole. This is when I watch the video a second time.

[after the epiphany]
Hey, I love the way I transitioned from that new spin into an invert.  I want to practice smoothing that out.  Hmm, I might want to add some more lat and shoulder strengthening moves into my workout to help me accomplish that move.  Damn I love how legwarmers make my thighs look thinner.  Ooh, I got a bit racy at the end when I took my tank top off.  I’d rather cut that part and keep it in the private vault.

A bunch of learning happens

Not everything makes it to the videos I post.  In fact, I have (literally) years worth of video that will never, ever, see the light of a computer monitor because I feel self conscious about my body.  But I love the immediate feedback I get when I watch these videos.  I can use these videos to fix things, discover new movements, and decide how to keep moving my pole dancing practice forward.

But I still have doubts and fears.  Doubts I don’t always talk about, fears I don’t always show.

Society says I’m “supposed” to be a strong woman and maintain a positive body image at all times.  But can I really trust such a conflicting message from a society where a supermodel can be fired by Ralph Loren because she isn’t a size 0 and doesn’t fit into their clothes anymore? Where almost every picture, ad, and poster of a woman we see is colorized, fixed, slimmed, and retouched?

The more playful I become in my pole dancing (and my life) the more I realize that every “should,” every “supposed to,” every “rule” society lays on me is total crap. I’ve lately decided to start testing all these “rules,” sometimes tentatively, sometimes ruthlessly.  I keep the ones that fit around my womanly curves and chuck the ones that don’t.

Rules I’m Chucking

1. I have to make myself beautiful everyday, all day long CHUCKED for (Every woman is beautiful and has the right to look like a Raggedy Ann doll if the situation or her sleep schedule calls for it)
2. I have to be a strong, successful, business woman that kicks ass all day long CHUCKED for (Many woman feel the strongest when they recognize & celebrate what some people might define as weaknesses including wanting to be a mother who takes care of a couple of kiddies instead of kicking ass at work. I certainly do.)
3. I must prove that I’m as good as any man CHUCKED for (No woman has to play a man’s game to be phenomenal.  She doesn’t have to prove her womanhood because she already has the cookie.  No baking required)

So, if you’d like to play along, and chuck a few of society’s rules too, then please join Poleskivvies and me on the Therapy Couch by dancing around on video (or maybe just in your living room) and testing your boundaries…

Because, as Jennifer puts it “Feeling ugly is just too damn exhausting.”

To which I’d like to add “Fuck Yeah!”

How do you deal with your own body image? What Rules are you ready to chuck? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

[Sometimes a story mixes with life and becomes something else entirely.  This excerpt from a story writing session might be something like that.  But in the end, all stories are about the human spirit.  Here's a piece of mine.]

I can’t hear myself think.  I feel a deep dull thudding in my brain as if the machinery was jammed and trying to roll past something blocked, something broken. A metallic boom down in the bowels of my mind. Whose words are these? The questions of a questioner go unanswered.  Where is the spark of my soul?

Nothing is missing.  There is no menacing evil within and yet fear fills my recesses, darkening corners with a light sucking efficiency.

Again.  Whose words are these?

How could I fall so far when my only steps were careful, calculated, even recommended.  My own darkness eats those dying embers that could still be called life.

But no white knight breaks in to rescue me. No gallant captain with shining boots to threaten my enemy into submission.  I am my enemy.  I am the darkness chasing the sun across the night sky.  What was hope is only whispering voids ripe with doubt, denial, and sadness.

I ignore the pain and imagine a perfect world, but everything is gray and muted. It’s drained of color as all false realities must be, as all nightmares should be.  But I ride this mare anyway.  Sweat steaming from her sides in the chill of my consciousness.  A mane of tears and anger leaving the only trail of color in my dying emotionless world.

We are searching, this mare and me, for a spark of belief.  Belief in something I can’t comprehend or even imagine yet.  But with each labored exhale, I can feel it.  The pain in my chest, the thud in my mind, the tears of my mare, prove that somewhere the fire of faith in myself still burns.  I have to find it before it’s too late.

I have seen the walking dead.  The ones who gave up searching for their spark.  And I would rather ride forever through the darkness knowing that the fire of my soul could be just a few steps further, than give in to a zombies sorrow.  Perhaps, one day, I’ll see a new sun that can chase away this cold wet night or find a city built to bring light into the darkness and warmth into my heart.

But I will not fight.  Instead, I will slide through this night and rescue Faith myself.  What else can I do?  What else can I do?  Only I can build the fire of self belief from an ember into a flame.  All I have to do is find it.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

Our lives are filled with perpetual, consuming worries for everything except for what is happening RIGHT NOW.

Take a moment and ask yourself if you really have any problems in this EXACT second.  Not earlier this morning, or two minutes from now, or tomorrow.

But RIGHT NOW.

What are you thinking about RIGHT NOW…

Do you feel the need to worry about something that’s happening later?

But is it really a problem RIGHT NOW?

Do you feel the need to worry about something that happened yesterday?

But is it really a problem RIGHT NOW?

If you are breathing with sufficiently warm clothes on and a roof over your head, then you’re probably doing pretty okay at the moment.  I’m not saying your concerns are baseless or unimportant.  I’m saying that spending your time worrying about them is wasting valuable energy that you could use for loving your family, working on your dreams & goals, or just having some serious playtime (on the pole of course).

What if you practiced living and dancing in this moment, EXACTLY AS YOU ARE?  Without any worries of the past or of the future.  What if you gave yourself the chance to let go of your problems for 5 minutes and just be.

Be your breath.  Be your movement.  Be alive.

You don’t have to prepare for who you are, you can simply be who you are.

Sometimes you need to live as a human being instead of a human doing.

Let go of the past.

Let go of the future.

The more you ask yourself… “What is important to me in this moment?”

…the more calm you will find…
..the more gratitude you will feel…
..the more abundance and joy will permeate your life…

So tonight, don’t get dressed up to dance.  Don’t plan your play list beforehand.  Don’t even decide exactly when you’ll begin your practice.  Walk to your pole when the moment is right (and you’ll know it’s right when you feel that odd pressure in your head that says Gosh, I wish I was pole dancing now), put on the song the seems to pop into your consciousness or under your fingers in your ipod, and dance.

Dance as you were, Dance as you are, Dance as you wish to be.

Knowing that this moment is the most precious one in your life RIGHT NOW.

Because this moment is all you ever have.

How do you find acceptance in the present moment? What other techniques do you use to create flow? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

Dear Kiki,
I totally feel your pain.  I remember when I was 12 and had no idea what cellulite was or that I was doomed to one day look at my legs and literally think “eeewww”

But before I show you some easy ways to reduce the look of cellulite I wanted to take a minute and rant about how The Rules have hurt us (women with cellulite) over the years.

Win the Battle or Lose the War?

Now, I’m not usually the first person to shout “that’s not fair.”  But with cellulite I’m happy to stand on the tallest building and scream my head off for the bullshit of it all. Not because some woman are genetically more likely to have it than others, but simply because I don’t understand why we all hate it so much.

Beauty comes in all sizes, not just size 5. ~Roseanne

When did this happen?  I’m pretty sure the cave women didn’t run around worrying if their upper thighs had small lines, blemishes, or random indentations. And yet, today many of us spend millions of dollars on exercise machines, skin creams, and special diets that might – MIGHT- reduce (not get rid of but just reduce) the look of cellulite.

Having cellulite doesn’t mean you are skinny or not, healthy or not, past your prime or not (NOBODY is past their prime in my book).  In fact, almost every woman over 25 I know has some sort of cellulite, somewhere…not because I spend my time inspecting for it, but because every woman I know eventually tells me where it is.  I can be sure that somebody feels comfortable with me after we’ve had the dreaded “so where is your cellulite” conversation.

And even though I don’t believe it’s fair, I can’t help but dislike the look and feel of my own cellulite.  So let’s do ourselves a favor, ladies, and stop thinking of cellulite as something that was our punishment for past sins. In fact, I try to imaging that my cellulite is actually just a couple of cute, but misplaced dimples.  And dimples never bothered anybody (okay, rant over)

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~Confucius

Fight The Good Fight

So now, how do you deal with your body dimples so that you feel like the sexy, fabulous minx that you are?

Well, I don’t recommend fishnets, simply because they make things much to slippery for pole dancing.  (If you are giving a luscious chair dance however, then ROCK those fishnets until he’s drowning in your nets)

TIP #1

My favorite fishnet alternative is BodyStrings which I wrote about here and here. They are a slip free way to focus attention onto some colorful costume accessories, cover up anything you feel shy about, and make you look HOT HOT HOT.

TIP #2

You can also consider spray on nylons. (I totally just heard you say WTF? Spray on nylons, such as Nyce Legs, are a little know stripper secret that give you just enough extra color to hide or smooth out the look of spider veins, cellulite, or other body dimples.  Strippers also use them to cover up an accidental bruise (a hazard most pole dancers know) or hide small tattoos.

Now I don’t recommend these for daily use, simply because I prefer organic and natural products, but I do have them in my cupboard for performances & showcases.  However, you should test them out first.  Some woman still find them a bit slippery, but they work pretty well for me as long as I make sure they are very dry before curtain time.

TIP #3

My last tip is probably my favorite however.  Did you know that the look of cellulite INCREASES whenever you tighten the muscles of your butt or thighs. Walk yourself over to a mirror and take a look as you flex the area you are worried about.  You’ll see what I mean.

So, if you simply practice your pole and exotic dance moves while keeping your ass relaxed, nobody will ever know you’ve got such cute body dimples.  Plus, if you always keep a slight bend in the leg (instead of flexing your leg) facing your audience, the skin on your thighs will stay nice and taut.

And finally, make sure to always point your toes whenever you bend at the hips. Actually, always, always point your toes while dancing PLEASE. (Flexing instead of pointing, which we call PORN FOOT in my classes, is one of my major pet peeves) Pointing your feet causes an extension of the lower calf and stretches the muscles making your legs look, long, strong, and down to get the friction on (courtesy of Sir Mix A Lot)

So, you’ve got lots of options to help you resolve those sweet body dimples, but just remember…

There’s nothing wrong with you, EXACTLY as you are.

The most beautiful view is the one you share with me. ~Author Unknown

Is beauty a battle for you? How do you remind yourself of how beautiful you are? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

I’ve been thinking a lot about The Rules lately.  You know, The Rules that “help” you decide what’s right and wrong.  The Rules that “explain” how you have to do this, or buy that, to ever have a chance to be beautiful, sexy, healthy, successful, or just plain average.  The Rules that say you’ve got to listen to all the “experts,” go to college, and become a mindless drone in some big huge corporation that thinks your name is j88456.

God forbid you want to have a good time in your 20’s.  And forget fun in your 30’s or 40’s because your fucking 401k isn’t big enough yet.  So just settle down, put your nose to the grindstone and look forward to retirement.  Um, yeah.  FUCK THAT!

Am I a hypocrite for telling you NOT to do EXACTLY what I did (except I’m not in my 40’s)?

Nope. Because I’ve decided that I’m not going to lay down and die (metaphorically speaking).

I’ve decided that I’M NOT DONE YET.

I’m not going to give up on my dreams even if they are just the insane delusions of a physicist slash poledancer slash writer who got stuck in a lab without windows for too long and refuses to drink the public KoolAide.

I left my last job because, when I stepped into the office everyday, I saw the walking dead.  Literally, zombies and brain eaters everywhere.  And I was well on my way to Zombie stardom…with overwork, daily headaches, wacky dizzyness, and general sadness whenever I typed my name (ex: j88456) into my login prompt.  I didn’t want to be a victim or a Zombie leader.   So I went a little nuts in an over strained economy and just quit.

I quit to save my life.

I quit to save my health.  I quit because I was too dehydrated to cry anymore. And it worked… sortof.

I mean I got back my life, I got back my health, and my face stopped looking like a pinkish prune with brown eyed spots.  But once I was alive again, I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself.  I’d spent over 30 years building up an identity as the Kick Ass Physicist with accompanying bachelors degrees, master’s degree, ridiculously long resume, hot red Audi, and sexy business suits.   I’d been playing my role to a T and had everybody fooled.  But I realized that every time I got close to finishing the picture of me as the “Kick Ass Physicist,” I’d fuck it up. And when I finally quit the “perfect” job I asked myself… “what the hell is wrong with me?”

Woman are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness. ~Marie de Vichy

I was afraid of breaking The Rules.

I was afraid of doing all the things that society told me weren’t safe for a woman like me.  Seriously, ask yourself if you’d be willing to quit your job, with no security net, no new job to go to, and no outside financial support.

I was totally crazy, right?  Maybe.

Maybe I still am.

Because while I stood outside of the daily 9 to 5 grind I discovered that I had all these hidden passions.  I had dreams and opinions and I cared about doing shit that I had buried in a hole inside my mind when I was 12 years old.

And now, I’m still afraid.  I’m afraid that I will wimp out without doing all the amazing things I’ve got floating around in my head.  I’m afraid I’ll give in to the comforts of a recently acquired steady paycheck instead of creating and sharing my ideas about sensuality, authenticity, purpose and passion with everyone who will listen.  I’m afraid to die with my music still in me.

But my fear is giving me the ability to fight.

It’s making me stronger and more resourceful than I’d ever imagined I could be.  Because I’m the one who has to make things happen– meaning that without me, my dreams won’t come true. I’m the one that has to put in the work, write that story, create that video, teach that class, learn about running an online business & a million other things I didn’t even know existed…and still stay true to my heart, my passions, my purpose.

So today, I’d like to kindly thank The Rules for getting me here…

And then tell them to FUCK OFF or Suck my big sparkly red (nonexistent) Balls!

Because The Rules aren’t needed anymore.  I don’t need limiting beliefs.  I don’t need social conventions.  I don’t need tribal knowledge. As of this moment, I am letting go of everything that doesn’t help me on the path to my dreams.  I don’t care how many obstacles are in my way as long as I learn from them.

And I reserve the right to change my dreams whenever the hell I feel like it as long as I’m still working with passion toward goals that mean something to me. Because I’m pretty sure I don’t know everything there is to know right now but I aspire to be as flexible in my mind as Gumby is bendy.

So if you’ve got any problems with pole dancing, exotic dancing, erotic writing, swearing like a trucker, sex and sensual living, then this blog probably isn’t for you.  On the other hand, if you like all that stuff and you enjoy the occasional rant from a writer turned physicist turned pole dancer turned writer again then I’m so very glad you are here.  I’ve got a bunch of wonderful ideas and I need your help.

Please tell me what you’d like to read about on ExpressTheSensual.  Tell me your stories (in private or in public).  Or just send me a reminder on twitter that I made you a promise.

I promise that I will transform my weaknesses and fears into some seriously awesome fun stuff specifically for your enjoyment…

…Like ebooks about living sensually…

…more pole/exotic dance video classes…

…and naughty erotic short stories for cold nights by the fire…

As well as sharing QandAs, HowTos, and any other sexy goodness I learn/find along the way.

I’ve got a lot of work to do, so it’s guess it’s time for me to get my big ass busy. XOXOX

What are your dreams & goals? How have you committed to your passionate path? I love hearing from you so please add your comment below!

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Ah yes, the many and various ways of moving across the dance floor without walking, strutting, or twirling.  Crawling, is so much more than the dictionary definition would imply…

“1 : to move slowly in a prone position without or as if without the use of limbs 2 : to move or progress slowly or laboriously”

Crawling is usually done slowly in a crouched or prone position…  But there is so much raw sensuality inherent in crawling. I feel so powerful while crawling that it’s easy to imagine I’m an animal stalking my prey.  So, I only use it when I have a very specific and appreciative audience.

I’m a major stickler for details when it comes to crawling because I’ve had so many students come to me with knee injuries and shoulder pain from doing it incorrectly.  But we’re going to fix all that right now.  So let’s get into the nitty gritty of the Slinky Crawl…

Get Down On It

First, in order to crawl you have to be down on the floor.  Now, don’t just rush down to the floor. Take a little extra time with this particular transition.  The most often used movement is a variation of the slinky squat, but my personal favorite is a slide.  Slide down the pole, slide down the wall, slide down a chair, slide down your partner (don’t be afraid of a little audience participation, ROWR!)

Simply place your back on the pole/wall/partner and your hands in a supporting position (usually above your head gripping the pole, pushing on the wall, or gently holding onto his neck) so you can control your slide.  Plant one foot on the ground while allowing the other foot to slide in front & away from you.  (If you have knee issues I can help you find a different variation that doesn’t require a deep knee bend like this) Remember, to keep your shoulders away from your ears & your abs tight.

Take an agonizingly slow journey to the floor until your tush hits the ground. This is a perfect chance to spend some time flirting with your audience or yourself.  (BTW, I teach at least four different ways to get to the floor in both my level 1 pole and level 1 exotic dance classes plus a gazillion different variations.  This is just one.)

DoggyStyle

Next, you need to get onto your hands and knees.  Again, there are a million different ways to do this, depending upon your level of flexibility, leg covering (ie slideability), and laziness.  I’m a laaazzzyyy dancer, so I like things that look easy even if they are really fucking hard to do.  And since we’re going to focus on crawling, let’s go with the straightforward technique.

At this point, you should be sitting on your butt with your back on the pole/wall/partner.  Just let your body continue to slide until your head is resting on the floor.  Then luxuriously roll onto your belly. (I teach how to roll over sensually as well, but I don’t want to overwhelm you here)

Now, here’s the tricky bit (Are you paying attention?) Press your hands on either side of your chest and open your knees so your legs loosely form a diamond shape. I.E. your knees will be wider than your hips.  This also means you can feel the floor on the soft flesh on the inner side of your knees but NOT on the knee cap.  (you only get two knee caps, so don’t skip this part!) Now push down with your hands as you let your butt move straight backwards toward your feet.  If you pretend somebody you really like is tugging down & back on your g-string, you’ll do exactly what I mean.

Notice that the majority of your weight is on your calves but your knees do NOT hurt.  That your hands, elbows, and shoulders are in line while the back muscles are relaxed and down.  Plus your stomach muscles are nice and tight.  Viola! Welcome to every man’s favorite position for sex. (ahem! oh, was that too risque?  Really? )

Creep, Slither, Crawl

Finally, let’s take your first slink along the floor.  If you are positioned correctly, you’ll feel how easy it is to rock your body away from your hands toward your butt, BUT (teehee) you start to loose your balance if your head & chest go too far forward past your hands.  You’ll also feel how easy it is shift your weight from one leg to the other leg.  Now shift your weight back AND toward one side.  This makes it easy to lift the opposite leg off the floor and slide it closer towards your hand.  Move that hand forward, shift your weight again and slide your leg again.  Make sure you end up on the inner edge of your knee and not the knee cap. (I really recommend wearing Bella pants for this part until you’ve mastered the rolling and sliding motions.)

Then just repeat, repeat, repeat.  When I use this particular crawl, I feel like I’m rocking my butt and sliding my legs.  My hands just keep my upper body balanced for the next step. And to keep things sexy, I make sure I relax my neck, so my hair hides my face and my head sweeps (slowly and easily) from side to side.

Then, when I’m ready to get closer to my audience, I deliberately look up through my hair and lock eyes.  Even if they can’t see your face, they will get a chill from your sensual power in this moment.

When everything is working right, this crawl feels very strong, but looks very slow.  It’s deliberately lazy. You want your audience to focus on your butt swinging from side to side. (I know I would *wink*) This movement can exude both vulnerability, from your prone position, and a direct sensual power, when executed with confidence.

Allow both the music (I love Esthero for the deep sensual beats) and your personal style to infect each sway of your hips, each shift of your sensuous legs. Focus on how the audience responds to you or on how you respond to your surroundings.

Do your feel supported by the earth…

Do you feel the slowly building heat of holding your limbs close and keeping your head lowered…

Do you feel rushed or lazy, soft or dangerous, exposed or predatory…

When you play with the animal inside you discover the freedom to express your authentic, sensual nature.

Let your boundaries go.

Do you usually crawl when you dance? What other variations do you enjoy? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

I started my day off by sharing this on Facebook:

I’m going to quietly grmble in my cubicle this morning. :S (I couldn’t even manage to spell “grumble”)

…and ended it by celebrating an evening filled with stable inverted pressaways.  YIPEE!

When I sat down at my desk at 8am today, I was pissed off, frustrated, depressed, and absolutely, completely, totally stuck.  I felt trapped by my own life and so very tired of struggling to understand why, why, why I couldn’t stop cockblocking my own success (yes, I know I don’t have a cock and I wasn’t trying to get laid, but just go with me here).  I was disappointed that I wasn’t meeting my daily writing quota (I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year), that I hadn’t posted anything to this blog or my other blog in 5 or 6 days, and that I kept falling asleep in my cubicle (at 8am in the morning!) because I was so fucking exhausted.

So what the hell do you do when when you keep hitting the same wall of frustration over and over again?  What do you do when you’re seriously stuck in a funk and can’t shake loose?

First, stop trying to use logic to get out of it. If logic was going to work, you’d have found the answer days, weeks, or months ago…

You need an inspiration!

Luckily, you already have a phenomenal technique to create an AHA moment…

All you need is to get your conscious mind to go to sleep and give your creative muse a safe place to explore. Meaning you’ve got to shed some of those layers of assumptions, baggage, and bullshit that you gathered as a grownup…Give your inner child a game to play.. And show her an awesome playground preferably with a jungle gym.   Psst THIS IS WHERE POLE DANCING COMES INTO THE PICTURE.

Your Body In Motion…

Drive home from work, stumble in the front door, banish everyone from the pole room for at least 20 minutes, throw on the playlist that exemplifies your emotional funk, and peel away your inhibitions.

Pick music that makes you feel grumpy, or sad, or predatory… but only if you actually feel that way.  Don’t change out of your work clothes. STRIP out of your work clothes.  Let each layer of your emotional wall disappear as each song disappears.

Ride the wave of your own anger, your own sadness, your own angst until you can’t tell the difference between the beat of the drum and the beat of your heart. (see that upside down lady on the right with the goofy happy smile… THAT’S ME!)

Once you feel your energy start to wane, allow you body to slow down.  Let the new wave of exhaustion set in as your dance moves away from the pole and onto the floor.  Until finally there is only your breath.

Your Body At Rest…

Inhale that next breath, get out your journal (or a piece of paper) and write the answer to these four questions. They are designed to pull the answers to any difficult problem out of your own unconscious mind.  (PS – I’ve included my own answers but not the secret decoder ring, so if anything seems cryptic that’s because my muse likes to speak in alien languages)

Q1:  What do I need right now?

My Answer: Sleep glorious sleep and to stop pushing myself.  To stop second guessing and ignoring my own desires, wants, and opinions.  Because all I’m doing is wasting energy by “should”ing all over myself (shoulding is  when you tell yourself that you “should, must, have to” do something instead of allowing yourself to consciously choose). I work for 9hrs and come home full of resistance. I don’t feel like working on any of my real passions until I can drain that resistance away.

Q2.  What are the things in my life that feel right, that feel easy, that feel like me?

My Answer: my five wishes, my writing career, spending time with J, writing fiction, writing sensually, writing erotica, connecting to my passions through ExpressTheSensual, pole dancing, reading, working with JBT, hanging out with the important people that I care about, feeling love, feeling truth, feeling and expressing my freedom to choose my life and my reality with each breath, to know and experience this moment exactly as it is…

Q3.  What are the things in my life that feel wrong, that feel hard, that don’t feel like me?

My Answer: driving to work, engineering, aerospace, my day job, being a tech writer, worrying about NOT writing, listening to the people that tell me I need to do this – buy that – believe in their miracle product or end up being a dumb ignorant jackass, feeling like a coward, feeling like I have to do EVERYTHING right now, guilt for doing it wrong, guilt for not doing it before, guilt, guilt, guilt.

Q4. What do I forget to tell myself?

My Answer: That even if I feel like I should do everything, I really don’t need to do everything. That I can just let go of all the shit that I don’t want and spend my precious time, energy, and joy building my reality around all the awesome shit that I do want. To focus on my passion and my purpose.  To know that I have a choice and that I have the ability to choose differently as each moment arrives.  Then, my path will stop feeling sticky and I’ll stop feeling trapped.  (At this point angels descended, birds sang, and an intense desire to dance again hit me)

It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” –Picasso

AHA!

Try this and you’ll discover what I did.  Your REAL PRIORITIES will suddenly be laid out in front of you in such vivid detail that you can’t ignore them anymore. Accept what is critical to you and then make that the most important part of your day.

Don’t just write down the essentials of your answer. Don’t just pay them lip service. Make choices that reflect YOUR priorities. Define your goals and believe in them.

A good friend once told me “Don’t die with your music still in you!”  Break down your walls by listening to your passions. Discover your bare essentials, and share your rapture with the world.

PS…these questions were inspired by a post by Havi Brooks, who you should be reading if you love kooky, fun, and awesome all rolled into one lady…and her duck Selma. Share your ideas in the comment section!

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When there are too many options, too many possibilities, I get overwhelmed and stuck.  Which of the gazillion things that I could choose is the RIGHT one and how do I know for sure? Do I always have to weigh each possibility in disgusting detail?  Do I really have to agonize and worry over every damn little thing in my life?

As a physicist, I know that mankind has made a science out of redefining our infinite world of possibilities using small little ONEs and ZEROs.  Every movie we watch, every blog we read, every song we download is created from boiling this reality down to those two options. It’s not perfect. Computer simulated red will never be as luscious as the flaming red of a real sunset, but I am still grateful for it.

I want to harness this uniquely human power to SIMPLIFY. Because I have questions that I am tired of pondering.  Tired of thinking about.  Tired of being frozen with indecision about instead of moving forward and taking some fucking action.  I have questions that need answers whether the sun sets red, orange, or a deep royal purple (I live in LA, so yes, sometimes it’s purple!)

So, sometimes, I use my pole dancing as a magic eight ball.  You know, those plastic balls filled with inky black water and the little window where your fortune pops up… “My sources say yes” or “Don’t count on it” (in an oh so very scientific fashion).  When my conscious mind refuses to come up with the answers, I can let my pole dancing magic eight ball decide instead.

“But you’re a physicist?” you cry “How can you ignore the entire scientific method?”

Because the magic eight ball I’m about to show you, taps into your unconscious mind.  If your conscious mind is lost, your unconscious mind has the navigation package and it’s desperately trying to tell you to “take a right at the next exit.” But it’s unconscious (by definition), so unless you find a way to tap into it, you won’t hear a damn thing.  All the while it’s screaming…  TURN RIGHT!  TURN RIGHT NOW!

Now stick with me here, because this is the tricky part…..

Become your own Magic Eight Ball

1. Go pick two (or three) colors to represent your options. My favorite scenario is BLACK meaning NO WAY! and WHITE meaning ALL SIGNS POINT TO YES!  (other meanings might be ABSOLUTELY, MY SOURCES SAY NO, or OUTLOOK GOOD. You can even use GREY for REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN LATER)
2. Create a sexy poledancing outfit with your two (or three) colors. In the video I chose a white tank top, white bikini top, black booty shorts, black and white bodystrings, and black platform shoes (see, I told you I used bodystrings ALL THE TIME).
3. Dance and Strip. Yes, you heard me STRIP.  Take off your clothes, but let your unconscious mind decide what pieces to remove and how to remove them. (I did NOT actually remove clothes in the video because it got a little too hot for youtube and I didn’t want to upset your delicate disposition)
4. The color you are wearing more of at the end of your poledancing session is your answer. (I was wearing all BLACK at the end, but just barely, so I got my answer –> NO WAY!  )

Becoming your own magic eight ball means you are trusting your intuition. 

Which is a good thing, because your intuition knows everything you think you know… everything you actually know… a bunch of shit you forgot that you know… and a bunch more shit you don’t even realize that you know.

At the very least, when you are done, you can leave me a comment and say “Yannori, you are full of shit, but I love you anyway.” Because you’re awesome and you roll like that.

How do you tap into your intuition? How do you make a difficult decision? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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