This is one of my favorite articles I have included in a newsletter yet. Some of you have read Mo’s story from the July 2009 newsletter, well she has written again this month and it includes some very challenging words. I want to encourage you to not be put off by a difference in opinion, theology, or perspective, but to instead hear one person’s journey in raw
and authentic form. The point here is not correct doctrine,
but learning to listen.

___________________________________________

I recently came upon a question posed on an online forum that provoked me. The question, essentially was: If outsiders have
visited church services and found it wanting and don’t want
to go back…what then? A number of people were uncomfortable with the use of the word “outsiders”. Including the person who originally posted the question for discussion. I‘m not. I think it is entirely appropriate. Especially in this context. I am myself an outsider. I was an insider before too.

I was not brought up in a church attending family. In high school I was drawn to a church youth group and fell in love with the church and its congregation. I went all the time. Really. For some reason they gave me a key to the church and I would go at midnight after school football games. I attended every service. I was there for most official church events as well as random off hours. When I felt weird and like I didn’t fit in at school because I was the only Asian kid in a sea of Caucasian faces, I felt safe, accepted and loved at church. I knew the lingo and the secret handshake! I eventually even went to seminary. I had definitely made the conversion from outsider to insider.

Then…I figured out that I am gay. And my church body decided I was an outsider. It was incredibly painful to be disaffected by my spiritual family. It was also frustrating to try to dialogue about my experience and be told I had nothing of value to add to the discussion until I “got right” with god and got rid of “the gay“. In other words, I was still allowed in the building as long as I kept my mouth shut. I was met with rigid legalism and much…MUCH finger shaking. I was NOT met with love. Or compassion. Or a desire to help me talk through this real challenge in my life. Nor was I met with an honest humility that we are all sinners and all sin is repugnant to God’s eyes. I don’t think being gay is a sin, but was never allowed to articulate my convictions. My experience is mirrored nationally. The church community I loved has declared war on my gay brothers and sisters. And me. So I left.

Now here I am, an outsider again. I went to other churches for awhile. It’s funny. If you attend services there is always a break for folks to greet each other and welcome newcomers. There is a new attendee (outsider) form you are encouraged to fill out so the church can follow up with you. I can attest from personal experience, of the 37 different churches I went to and filled out their form. (I did mention I was gay and not conflicted about it.) Exactly zero ever followed up with me. Periodically I get a longing to attend services and be part of a spiritual family that is working to build stronger communities through practical demonstration of God’s love. Mostly I squelch it. So we are back to the original question. If outsiders have visited church services and found it wanting and don’t want to go back…what then? This is me. I don’t want to keep bruising myself against the un-Christ-like inflexibility of an organized church. I don’t want to be the object lesson of how sanctified (read sanctimonious) YOU are because your sins aren’t political hot buttons. Hello….glass house…stones.

I don’t know if I can ever believe in God again. I do know that if I am ever likely to, it won’t be from attending a church service. Tried that. Found it wanting. Don’t want to go back. End of story, right? Until I met an unusual Christian who doesn’t judge me or preach to me. Simply shares the stories of his life with me and is interested in the stories of my life. I don’t feel he has an agenda with me. Like some spiritual salesperson earning his eternal commission. (You know you’ve met them) I am extremely sensitive to “fake” concern over my spiritual wellbeing and threats of damnation if I don’t correct my behavior. Yet this Christian man never triggers my alarms. When I am around him or his wife I periodically think I may catch glimpses of Christ out of the corners of my eyes. I feel welcomed back into the discussion. I may or may not find my way back to the church again. But for the first time in many years I am engaged in an internal AND external dialogue about it that feels productive. Christians are called to go into the world (great commission stuff). I personally have only met two who are doing that. It renews my hope if not yet my faith to know that there are Christians willing to. It is scary to leave your comfortable church and your comfortable assumptions and meet “outsiders” where they are. It’s scary. It’s also what you are called to do.
—Mo

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Something sort of mystical and magical happened after a 19-year-old kid named Papito was killed on our block a few weeks ago.  As our neighborhood ached and grieved and cried with his family, we began to create a memorial for Papito where he died – a familiar ritual in the inner city.  Those who knew and loved him brought photos and flowers.  Kids on our block brought stuffed animals or whatever they had and laid them on the sidewalk memorial.  And everyone brought candles.  But here’s where the magic happened.  It was the next day that the east coast was to be hammered with one of the worst snowstorms since we’ve kept records.  As the snow showered down, I thought the little candles, sheltered only beneath a little shanty of soggy cardboard, would not stand a chance in the blizzard.  But on they burned. Hour after hour, even through the night they burned.  And the warmth of the fire melted down the snow as it fell.  Flake by flake melted from the warmth of the fire.  The next morning I went out to find the candles still burning, on a little patch of wet sidewalk like an oasis of warmth glowing in the middle of 2 feet of snow encroaching on all sides.

The next week we held a prayer vigil at the local gun shop, praying for an end to violence … and specifically asking and praying that the owner of “The Shooter Shop” would agree to a voluntary “Code of Conduct” drafted by Mayors from all over the country who agree that these ten simple steps would prevent deaths like Papito’s.  So on February 13, we walked in silence with friends and neighbors from the candle memorial where Papito died three blocks to The Shooter Shop down the street.  And we carried candles.  It was there that I remembered the candles gentle warmth as it faced the coldness of a winter storm.

As we gathered with dozens of other Christians from around Philadelphia to pray for peace, we were met by a counter-demonstration that had been organized by gun-rights groups.  They shouted some of the meanest things I have ever heard.  I didn’t mind them calling me a “scumbag”, and I even concede on the “you need a shower” comment … but then the insults shot like bullets – racial, economic, angry insults … some of them to kids from our block,  some of them whispered just loud enough to hear, such as, “stupid immigrant.”  As we started a sacred moment of silence to remember Papito and the other kids killed with illegal guns … the silence was pierced with insults and meanness.  As we prayed the Lord’s Prayer it was interrupted with the singing of “God Bless America.”  A deep theological cage match was happening in the heavens, it seems:

While I do not believe the folks we met reflect the character or views of most gun owners or even NRA members (heck, I’ve shot some squirrels for dinner back in Tennessee) … the ugly counter-protest was organized by folks who started off by saying things like this:

Be advised that Shooter’s Shop is located in a dicey neighborhood. You should have no problem in daylight, and I doubt the local neighborhood folks are going to mess with a bunch of NRA members, but carry your gun with you. Do not leave it unattended in a vehicle if you go where someone could break into your car and steal it!

–from the Web site, “Snowflakes in Hell” (which, incidentally, may flaw with my candle metaphor!)

So the fact that they are not from the neighborhood may explain some of the behavior we saw and their inability to lament the bloodshed we see on these streets from guns sold to straw buyers at gun shops like the Shooter Shop (not many folks are buying hunting rifles from a gun shop in Kensington … we don’t have many deer here).

There is no doubt that my grandmother was right when she used to say, “God doesn’t like ugly.”  And the Scriptures speak clearly: We are not fighting against people but against principalities and powers – ugly, filthy, sick principalities and powers.  When we look at Jesus’ cross we see what love looks like when it stares evil in the face.  It is non-violent, it is forgiving, it is steady and courageous.  It is this courageous love that exposes evil by making it so uncomfortable that it has to be dealt with.  Colossians is correct when it says that as Jesus rose from the dead he made a spectacle of the cross.  As he listened to insults, had people spit in his face, curse him, and kill him he knew full well that he was exposing the ugliness … and in the end, love wins over hatred.

When we came back to the house we got a chance to unpack things with some of the teenagers from the block who were at the vigil.  They shared about how powerful it was to see us return meanness with kindness.  We remembered how Martin Luther King said to those who were so mean to him:  “To our most bitter opponents we say: ‘Throw us in jail and we will still love you.  Bomb our houses and we will still love you.  Beat us and leave us half dead, and we will still love you … but be ye assured that we will wear you down with our love.”  As the early Christian martyrs said:  “Grace dulls even the sharpest sword.”

We will continue to hold vigil and to pray for a conversion of heart from the gun shop owner.  In fact, the steady witness is growing … more than 100 pastors and church leaders have drafted letters (like this one) to the gun shop owner urging him to seize this opportunity to lead with integrity and show irresponsible gun shop owners a better way.  Please light your candle and send your letter to Mr. Haney.  When he signs the Code of Conduct we will alert the press and have a huge celebration outside The Shooter Shop (I might even buy a new bb-gun from him).

This morning I woke up and saw the snow falling again, and the candles still burning (they’ve been burning for almost three weeks now) … they are still melting the snow.  As I thought about the vigil last week, I had once thought we were sheep among wolves … but now I’m thinking we were just candles in the middle of a blizzard.  And snow melts, but the light keeps glowing.  We are to be the light, to be the salt … both of which can melt the toughest ice or the coldest heart.

Shane Claiborne is a founding partner of The Simple Way community, a radical faith community that lives among and serves the homeless in the Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia. He is the co-author, with Chris Haw, of Jesus for President.

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1. Fund raising. I was never taught to ask for money, how to ask for money, or how to find success in asking for money. But the reality is that aside from prayer I think that fundraising is the single most crucial thing in getting and keeping church planters going.
2. Database management. Try fundraising, sending out newsletters, etc. without some kind of working knowledge of how to organize contacts, keep track of the last time you contacted them, keep track of if you’ve written them a thank you note, keep track of whether or not they get your newsletter, support you, etc. I waste my time doing this stuff because I have no idea how to do it, but it’s a must!
3. Written word. In seminary you get a class or two about how to preach, so in theory you’re completely prepared to be a weekly teacher (read in sarcasm here) but the written word is completely different. You’ve got to write newsletters, blog posts, and articles among other things.
4. Graphic Design. Connected to number three, if you’re writing newsletters you had better make them look good. Also you probably don’t have money to pay someone to make your new churches website so you had better start figuring out a way to make your own website! You’ve got to make yourself some sort of church logo, design your own business cards, and create all those beautiful documents and posters that make any worship space a communication workhorse.
5. Powerpoint. You should probably learn this in high school, but if you didn’t you’re in trouble ’cause any church planter without his powerpoint might as well be naked. Learn it, use it, custom animations, inserted video clips and sound, etc.
6. Social networking. Yes, thats right, starting churches is actually all about people! So if you want to start a church you’ve got to know how to connect with people. What makes it even harder is that often you come out of a schooling context where your nose is stuck in a book (albeit, a good book) for 2-3 years. When you take your nose out of that book and look around at all the people it takes about three years for your eyes and nerves to adjust to human contact again!
7. Social activist. Church planters must be connected in their neighborhood, in their community, schools, and the like. They attend the PTA meetings, the neighborhood watch meetings, chamber of commerce meetings, they serve at local schools, homeless shelters, and anything else that sends them to the community in love. Try learning that in seminary.
8. Training leaders. One of the most important things you do as a leader is to train other leaders. Otherwise you’ll never create a sustained movement and your church will only go as far as your Superman-like shoulders will take it. How do you train a leader? Who do you train? Do you take them through a curriculum or just let them shadow you? Do you just look for those who already lead and tell them to keep doing it or do you plug in people where you think they’ll fit? Leadership development is important!
9. Time Management. I know, I know, this is in no way unique to church planters…except for the fact that often you do not have an office when you start a new church. Which means that you’re working from home, from coffee shops, libraries, and anywhere else that has wifi. You had better learn to stay motivated and on task ’cause there are an innumerable amount of distractions around you.
10. Finally (though I’m sure you could list more) your appearance. Can you grow a good goatee? Do you look good with a shaved head? Got plugs? How about a tattoo? Do you own a Moleskin? Have an iphone? Got good eyesight? If you have good eyesight you had better stab yourself in the eye ’cause you’ve got to have a pair of black framed glasses!

School cannot and will not ever prepare you for all that!  So what’s the answer? Obviously experience can never be replaced. But I would also suggest that reinventing how school and graduate work is done is vital (see Rochester College’s new Missional Leadership degree). But even more practically speaking we need more opportunities to watch, follow, be mentored, and learn from others’ mistakes. I get excited when I see groups like Kairos an Northwest Church Planting because they are beginning to offer these types of experiences.

Oh yeah, and I didn’t even get into the stuff that really makes a new church work. Stuff like prayer, listening to God, engaging the world, taking care of your family, theology…you know, all that stuff!

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1. Responsibility makes you old (makes you grow up)
2. The best way to learn something is to teach it or do it
3. There is more to do than we’ll ever be able to do
4. When everything goes wrong…things then tend to be just about right
5. In order to do church you’ve got to go where people are
6. A few people can make a huge impact
7. Prayer works
8. Building faith takes time
9. Failure and faithfulness often go hand in hand
10. People make the church (not vision statements, strategies, buildings, programs, etc.)

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I had some great moments today, and they were all quite thematic. This morning somehow we ended up talking about Mother Teresa. He wanted to know more about this woman who spent her life helping people. Who did she help? Why does nobody like those people? What did she do? Then he asked me to tell him about another person like that. So I stayed with the India theme and told him about Gandhi. By the end of it we had discussed Desmond Tutu, MLK, Nelson Mandela, and Roy and Patty Kunkle.* Through discussing these people he ended up asking questions about slavery, why people don’t like other people, skin color, and peaceful resistance. We talked a lot about loving everybody and about peace. It was a great conversation.

Tonight somehow I found myself singing and dancing in the kitchen with both kids. We were singing the kids church song “I’m in the Lord’s army”**. After singing it a couple of times I was internally a bit uncomfortable because I’m not really into the whole militant Christianity thing, so I decided to clarify for Jones what we were singing about. First we talked about the definition of infantry, cavalry, and artillery. Next we talked about the difference between the weapons that human armies use and the weapons that God gives us to fight with. At one point Jones says “Dad, we attack people with love…which means that we just love them a lot.” then I ask “but what if they’re mean to you? Isn’t it easier to hit them back?” and he says “No dad, I think I choose to love them anyway.” and then I throw down the kicker, “How about yesterday when mom made you angry?”

“I hit her”

“So it can be pretty hard sometimes huh?”

“Yes dad, but God wants us to make peace huh?”

“Yup. Even when it’s hard.”

We ended the night reading a book he has about Abraham Lincoln. The book talked about Lincoln’s fears about the nation being split, about losing the war, and about his passion to liberate all peoples. We talked some more about slavery…and then he went to bed.

Try to get the kid to do karate and he’ll quit after eight minutes. Talk to the kid about the struggle between good and evil, the struggle to wage a war of peace, and the challenge of loving your enemy and he’ll stick around all night! I love that kid.

*  Roy and Patty spend lots of their time, energy, money, and vacation in Mexico. They work with the indigenous peoples and the local governments to build schools, play structures, homes, etc. They’re training indigenous workers, they’re now building childcare facilities, they’re making huge sacrifices and making a huge difference. I wanted Jones to realize that it’s not just far off people that give their lives fighting for hope, but even his best friend Zoi’s parents.

** The lyrics to this song are…

I may never march in the infantry

Ride in the cavalry

Shoot the artillery

I may never fly o’er the enemy

But I’m in the Lord’s army!

Yes Sir!

I’m in the Lord’s army!

Yes sir!

I’m in the Lord’s army!

Yes sir!

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A photograph is an illusion. An illusion, not an allusion…though I’m sure you could allude to things in photographs…The whole concept of snapshots, in whatever field of study, gives the illusion that you are capturing life. But you are not. What I love about quality photographers is that they’re able to capture images that I did not even see. We may be looking at the same object but they see and capture that object from a perspective that was invisible to me. The photographer captured an aspect of their own perspective, but they did not capture reality. Reality is three dimensional, it is fluid, and dynamic.

But don’t get caught up too much in the photography application, because I think it’s a much bigger thing that just photos. My wife was learning the other day about how we test our bodies. X-rays, blood tests, etc. are all ways of taking snapshots of our body in order to asses health. But the problem with these snapshots is that in reality our bodies never sit still as they do for those snapshots. In reality our aches and pains are rarely experienced statically and neither does our body function internally in a static manner. At any given moment our body has numerous functions, cycles, and changes. If we then take a quick snapshot of what is happening in our body at a given moment all we learn is what is happening in our body at that given moment or in that particular stance or with that particular food in our body or…etc. Our body is so incredibly dynamic and fluid that snapshots do not do it justice! They do not capture health (or lack thereof) effectively. And, yet, virtually all of our methods for testing our bodies are based upon a static image.

The third aspect that this idea of a deficit snapshot came up is in defining culture. When someone asks me to tell them about Portland or Vancouver they’re usually asking me to explain the “culture of the Northwest”. What I proceed to do is define a snapshot of the NW. Funky, weird, liberal, creative, coffee, beer, McMenamins…This is what cultural anthropology originally set out to do, define and articulate culture. Missionaries will spend time studying the culture that they are preparing to go serve. We speak of churches having a specific culture. But what in the world does that even mean?! If a specific church has a culture are we referring to the youth group? Are we referring to how the elders operate? Are we referring to their history? What about the young families that are trying to bring change? What “culture” are we referring to? Culture is so incredibly fluid and changing, like a stream, that rather than being capable of capturing it with a snapshot maybe our goal should be to run along side it as much as we’re capable. A snapshot gives the illusion of understanding, but in reality all you’ve captured is your own lens. When you describe or capture a culture all you’ve done is created an image that says “here’s how I view this world in front of me from my own unique perspective” even if a missionary goes to a rural African village, lives in a hut for thirty years, an in every way lives with (and like) the people, he will still always be a white dude that made a choice to live in that manner and could at any moment choose to leave. He will always be understanding that culture from his perspective.

Snapshots serve a purpose, but I fear that in many ways we have allowed them to too greatly define reality as we understand and articulate it. I wonder about the snapshots we’ve used to define faith, the Biblical story, and what it means to follow Jesus.

I think our greatest hope is in the pursuit of bigger ears (listening), bigger hearts (empathy), and an understanding of our limits.

* Please don’t get me wrong, I love photography!

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One author questions that formula by retelling the Prodigal Son story like this:

…when the son returns from his partying and recognizes the error of his ways, his father responds by saying “I cannot simply forgive you…it would be against the moral order of the entire universe…Such is the severity of my justice that reconciliation will not be made unless the penalty is utterly paid. My wrath-my avenging justice-must be placated.” The prodigal sons older brother then offers to do extra work in teh fields and pay his brother’s penalty. And finally when the elder brother died of exhaustion, the father’s wrath was placated against his younger son and they lived happily for teh remainder of their days.

Do you buy that retelling? Do you buy our current definition? Are you unsettled? Are you comfy? Speaking personally, I’ve got some questions that I’m pursuing.

Enough said.

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“My dreams…my brain doesn’t get to choose them, the pictures. (all of a sudden he ‘gets a dream’) Now I’m seeing a table. The table has a tiny door that goes inward. I’m going through the door and it takes me to the ocean…”

Good times

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