evil chef mom

roasted cauliflower with curry and red vinegar

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Tue, 19 Nov 2013 22:37:00 +0000

Posting a recipe for this dish feels like cheating. It's not really complicated. You probably have most ingredients on hand. Cooks in no time. Lots of flavor. Vegetarian. Could be vegan if you substituted the butter. Hell, I am pretty damn sure it's even gluten free. It's supposed to be a side dish but served over some rice or any other grain, maybe add an egg and you have a light but filling supper.

Not to get all poetic on you or anything but this dish is the equivalent of waking up from a nap on a cold rainy day. You know that feeling? All cozy and warm under the covers? Relaxed, happy, and well rested? Satisfied?

Seriously, that's this dish.

roasted cauliflower with curry and red vinegar
the a.o.c. cookbook by suzanne goin
printable recipe

(Side note: This recipe, as posted, fed 3 people as a main course. We were all very sad that there wasn't any leftovers for the next day.)

1/4 teaspoon of coriander seeds
1/4 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 1/2 teaspoons smoked paprika
1 medium head cauliflower, cored and cut into florets
1 small yellow onion, peeled, cored, and cut into sixths
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1 1/2 tablespoons red-wine vinegar
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro
salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Toast the coriander seeds in a small pan for a few minutes, until the seeds release their aroma and are lightly browned. Repeat with the cumin seeds. Using a mortar and pestle, pound coarsely.

In the warm pan that you used to toast the seeds (take pan off heat), add the coarsely ground coriander and cumin seeds, curry, paprika, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and pepper. Stir together to combine. This helps bring out the flavor of the spices.

Place the cauliflower and onion in a large mixing bowl. Pour the olive oil and melted butter over the top of the cauliflower. Sprinkle the spice mixture over the cauliflower and onions, toss well to coat the vegetables completely in the oil, butter, and spices. Add vinegar and toss again.

Place the cauliflower in a single layer on a baking sheet. Roast for about 30 minutes, stirring every 8 minutes or so, until the cauliflower is tender and nicely caramelized. Scatter the cilantro over the cauliflower, toss with a large spoon, and taste for seasoning.

frijoles con todo

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Tue, 05 Nov 2013 22:43:00 +0000

It's been 575 days since my last post...

I honestly haven't missed it because I really, I mean I REALLY detest writing. Writing is a struggle for me. I can't seem to find consistency, should I be funny or serious, quiet or loud? Point me in a direction and I will go, go, go but every time I approach the keyboard I automatically tense up and my brain comes to an abrupt halt right up against my skull. Writer's concussion? Is that a thing? Is it more serious than writer's block? Hypochondria for writers? Everything I'd like to write about flees my brain the very instant I touch the keyboard and questioning myself drives me batshit crazy to the point of wanting to knock down my monitor and saying I am outta here! And yet... I have come back. I know it's very much like exercising, the more I write the easier it gets but like exercising, I hate it, damn it.

Ready for a bumpy segue? If I was in shape I could weave this post together in a few fluid, witty paragraphs but yeah, that's not happening.

Anyways, these beans... well, this recipe was like how I feel about writing. A pain in the ass. (That's your warning)

I made this recipe over and over again. I was like Goldilocks,

These beans are too hard
These beans aren't seasoned enough
Oh, these beans are just right

When I finally got this recipe down cold it was and still is a head scratching, "how in the hell did that happen?" magic. (That's your incentive for making them. Magic. Cooking Magic.)

Really all these beans do is simmer in some chicken stock and their own juices and they taste like nothing you could ever imagine. Beans in their own juices sounds kinda disgusting, I know but trust me when I say this is a warm comforting dish for autumn and it's magical when done correctly.

Frijoles Con Todo
~Pinto Beans With Everything~
(printable recipe)

2 cups pinto beans, picked over, rinsed and drained
3-5 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed (to taste)
½ white onion, peeled and root cut off
½- 1 jalapeno, stem cut off (to taste)
2 Bay leaves
Salt
¼ teaspoon of each: (add more to taste)
Powdered Mexican oregano
Pasilla chile powder
Cumin powder
Ground coriander

Toppings:
Red Onion, chopped
Jalapeno or Serrano peppers, chopped
Avocado, sliced
Cilantro, stemmed and chopped
¼ pound of queso Oaxaca, Shredded (Monterey jack works well also)
Sour Cream

Directions:

Place beans and everything else, except toppings, in a heavy duty sauce pan and cover with chicken stock so that the waterline is about 3 inches over the beans. Bring the beans to a boil over high heat, and then decrease the heat to medium. You might have to skim some foam from the top of the beans. Discard that nasty foam.

This is important!!!! Simmer, not boil, but don’t under-simmer either or this recipe won’t work.

Simmer, adding stock or water to keep the waterline two to three inches above the beans for the next 2-4 hours. Stirring occasionally to keep the beans from sticking to the bottom of the pot.

Stop adding water after 2-3 hours of cooking or when the beans are tender. At this point, the liquid will be cloudy and milky and start to thicken from the starch of the beans. You’ll want the stock to slowly reduce until just covering the beans until perfectly tender. This is also tricky because sometime I have to add more stock and am constantly adjusting temperature and stock levels. I like this dish a little more broth-y so adjust to your taste.

Adjust seasoning and slowly add salt. (You’ll need more than you think) Remove bay leaves, onion, garlic cloves, and jalapeno from the pot.

Ladle the beans and broth into each bowl and top with cheese, avocado, onions, cilantro, chiles, and sour cream.

toasted almond scones

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 17:53:00 +0000

I want to make the argument that scones are the instant gratification of the baking world. I know, I know you have had some bad ones, cold ones, stale ones... so have I. But.

But, but, but... let me be the scones champion for a moment and tell you why they are full of awesomeness for the person who is craving a baked good but is feeling a ~~little~~ lazy.

Craving sweet or savory? You can have either. As long as you have a basic ratio for scones you can play around. Also if you want them plain to showcase some fancy butter and awesome jam that you bought, well there's that too.

Speaking of playing around, the ingredients are fairly cheap and not so time intensive that if you screw up and make a truly bad batch of scones you won't feel as guilty throwing a batch of scones in the trash than.... let's just say this for example.

There is no prep or much of what I call pre-thought involved. Everything comes out of the refrigerator cold and goes straight into a bowl or food processor. No thinking about setting out the eggs or butter to warm to room temperature or trying to soften the butter in the microwave and getting melted butter because you turned your back for 1 tenth of stinking second. Oh we have all been there.

The less fuss and mixing... the better. No multiple rises, not too many dishes or mixing bowls and speaking of which...

Most recipes for scones can be baked on 1 baking sheet. No multiple batches, like cookies. Don't get me started with cookies and I adore cookies but sometimes a girl just wants a one and done recipe.

Also, there is just enough but never too much so they go stale. How very Goldilocks of them.

And last but not least, the best argument for scones instant gratification blue ribbon status. They are best right after baking. No chilling, no waiting 24 hours or even an hour... 10 minutes max. That, by the way, is the worst thing about brownies and cakes. You know you don't want to wait for an hour to cut into whatever you just you've just baked. So you cut into them and burn the roof of your mouth and worst of all it will never cut neatly now. Sigh.

toasted almond scones: baking from my home to yours by dorie greenspan
(printable recipe)

makes 12 but I made eight because I cut mine a tad larger

1 cup blanched almonds (whole, silvered or sliced), toasted
2 tablespoons sugar
1 large egg
1/3 cup cold heavy cream
1/4 cup cold whole milk
1/8 teaspoon pure almond extract
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 stick (8 tablespoons) cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1/4 cup sliced almonds (optional)*

Preheat the oven to 400 deg. Line a baking sheet with parchment or a silicone mat.

Divide the toasted almonds in half. Finely grind 1/2 cup in a food processor or blender with the sugar. Make sure not to overgrind the nuts or you will end up with almond butter.

Finely chop the other 1/2 cup.

In a bowl, stir the egg, cream, milk, and almond extract together.

In a separate large bowl, whisk the flour, ground almonds and sugar, baking powder and salt together.

Drop in the butter and using your fingers, toss to coat the pieces of butter with flour. Quickly, working with your fingertips or a pastry blender, cut and rub the butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture is has pea sized pieces through out. Don't worry if some pieces or smaller or larger.It's cool.

Pour the liquid ingredients over the dry ingredients and stir with a fork just until the dough, which will be wet and sticky, comes together. Don’t overdo it! Remember lazy is good. Stir in the chopped almonds. Still in the bowl, gently knead the dough by hand, less than a dozen times! I swear this is the key to good scones. It's okay if there are bits of butterless flour on the bottom.

Turn the dough out into a lightly floured work surface divide it into half. Working with one piece at a time, pat the dough into a rough circle that’s about 5 inches in diameter, cut into 6 wedges and top each scone with a few sliced almonds. * I forgot to add the almonds on top... now that's lazy! Place them on the baking sheet. Bake the scones for 20-22 minutes or until their tops are golden and firmish. Transfer to a rack and cool for 10 minutes before serving, or wait for the scones to cool to room temperatures.

spicy chicken with rhubarb cucumber salsa

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 17:52:00 +0000

Sh$t They Don't Tell You When You Become A Parent: A Sarcastic Mom's Guide To Wading Through Parenthood

Number 19 : The Projects

Hey thinking of becoming a Parent? Already a Parent of a young child? Do you know about The Projects? Come in close, let me tell you about them because you need to know. It's starts in Kindergarten with the All About Me poster. Now this poster is important because it sets up your precious baybee's whole school career. The AAM poster has lots of blank squares to fill in. Also you will need to add all sorts of charming pictures from the time they were born till now. Don't have them because you were busy cleaning up poop and spit up and the peas they dumped on the ground? Clip some pictures out of a magazine. You don't have cute handwriting to fill in Precious charming answers to the equivalent Vanity Fair's Proust's questionnaire on the poster. Well sorry you're screwed. You are obviously a bad parent for not being crafty or having good hand writing.

Then you have the solar system project, science fair, and if you live in California, The Missions Project. The Missions Project sucks, especially if you are a parent at my kids old school. You couldn't use a kit. It had to be built by hand. Parents could help but should let the kid take the lead and do most of the work. So here you are, you have seen the other Missions the kids have brought in and you know the Parents did all the work. Their Missions are finely crafted piece worthy of placement in a miniatures museum, with groomed tiny landscaping, perfectly level and painted roof tiles and a working fountain. There is no way in hell a 5th grader did that. Here is your kid's Mission with catty wonkus walls and glue running down the joints, all because you followed the guidelines the teacher gave you. And Precious Johnny looks at you with disgust because Anne Marie's father spend $300 bucks on materials and took 6 months sketching out plans and took a special weekend trip to meet privately with the head docent at Mission San Juan Capistrano to build her Mission and you just pulled pictures of the Internet. Way to go Mom!

Then there are the weird projects. Like when my Awesome Andrew comes home on a Wednesday night and tells me he's doing a potluck project in Bio where he needs to bring in vegetable or fruit dish that is in season and by the way he picked rhubarb and it's due Friday. Do you have any recipes with rhubarb? Explaining to him that of course I do but rhubarb is just coming into season and it might be hard to find right now. Do you have a back up vegetable or fruit just in case? The look I received was like Precious Johnny and Anne Marie all over again. Ten stores and a half a day later I found rhubarb and Andrew and I made this upside down cake. With the surplus rhubarb I made spicy chicken thighs with rhubarb cucumber salsa for dinner. Which was awesome and totally made up for the fact I had to run around town to look for rhubarb.

So some deets on this chicken. The marinade tasted like a cross between jerk, curry, and peanut sauce and the rhubarb cucumber salsa really offset the heat with a sweet/sour/refreshing crunch. A keeper.

spicy chicken thighs with rhubarb cucumber salsa: bon appetit april 2012
(printable recipe)

1 habanero, Scotch bonnet, or Thai chile, with seeds, stemmed
2 garlic cloves 2 scallions, thinly sliced, white and green parts divided
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1/4 cup olive oil
6 large skin-on, bone-in chicken thighs
kosher salt
1 1/2 cups 1/4-inch cubes rhubarb
1 cup 1/4-inch cubes unpeeled cucumber
1/2 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon honey
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
freshly ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 500°. Line a baking sheet with foil. Pulse chile, garlic, and white parts of scallions in a food processor until finely chopped. With the food processor running, slowly drizzle in soy sauce and olive oil; blend until emulsion forms. Transfer sauce to a bowl.

Place chicken thighs, skin side up, on a the prepared baking sheet and slash each crosswise at 3/4-inch intervals down to the bone. Season lightly with salt. Brush with sauce. Bake until skin is crisp and an instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of thigh registers 165°, 20–25 minutes. Broil on high for an additional 2–3 minutes for crisper skin, if desired. Let rest for 5–10 minutes.

Meanwhile, toss rhubarb, cucumber, cilantro, honey, olive oil, lime juice, and green parts of scallions in a medium bowl to coat. Season to taste with salt and pepper and let stand for at least 10 minutes to allow flavors to meld. Serve chicken with rhubarb salsa alongside.

cinnamon-bun bites

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 01:00:00 +0000

Katie and I have this ongoing thing about cinnamon rolls. It's very Gilmore Girl/Abbott and Costello-ish. And the typical conversation happens when we visit our local Barnes and Noble which is somehow conveniently but not helpfully located by Cinnabon. Damn those mall planners!

'God, that smells good.'

'But they never taste as good as they smell.'

'Why is that?'

'I don't know why. And you also feel sick, sticky, and dirty after you eat one. Why is that? Oh because it should be named Cinnabomb. It's like a sugar bomb went off in your stomach. Kablooey.'

'I don't know why you feel sick, sticky, and dirty but I see what you did there with the Cinna-BOMB reference. Why can't we find a cinnamon roll that tastes as good as it smells?'

'I don't know. But I now really, really, really want a cinnamon roll. It smells so gooooooood.'

'Here have a piece of cinnamon gum.'

'But I reaaaaaaaly want a cinnamon roll'

'It'll be ok. Let's go look at books.'

We have had this same conversation too many times to count.

Anyways, I guess the point is that for both of us, the outside of the roll is too crunchy, there is not enough of the center part... but the center can't be under-cooked and gooey either, the dough isn't flecked with enough cinnamon, and there is normally too much frosting. Hello call us Goldilocks. It's never just right.

These cinnamon-bun bites are right up there in the almost damn near perfect category. The whole entire plate consists of the soft center part, the dough and glaze are flecked throughout with cinnamon and nutmeg. Best of all, I can control how much glaze to drizzle on the top. Also, they don't go kablooey in your stomach.

cinnamon-bun bites: martha stewart living, april 2012
(printable recipe)

1/2 cup warm water
1 tablespoon active dry yeast (from two 1/4-ounce envelopes)
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more if needed
4 large eggs
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 teaspoons coarse salt
1 stick unsalted butter, softened, plus 1/2 stick, melted, and more for dish
2 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
ground nutmeg

vanilla glaze:

1 cup confectioners' sugar, sifted
1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 tablespoons whole milk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
cinnamon
ground nutmeg

make cinnamon-bun bites:

Pour water into the bowl of a stand mixer. Sprinkle yeast evenly over water, and let stand until foamy, 5 to 7 minutes. Whisk until smooth then whisk in 1/2 cup flour to form a paste. Let rise in a warm place until yeast mixture has risen and fallen, about 30 minutes.

TIP: If your house is chilly like mine, turn on your oven for a couple of minuets on the lowest temperature, then turn off oven and place the bowl in the oven as sort of a proofing boxing for the dough.

Add eggs, 1/4 cup sugar, salt, 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon, a pinch of nutmeg, and the remaining flour to yeast mixture. Knead dough, using dough hook attachment on mixer, until smooth, 4 to 5 minutes.

Add 1 stick butter to the dough mixture and knead with the stand mixer until dough is smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes (add a little more flour if the dough is too sticky). Turn out dough onto an unfloured work surface and knead by hand until very smooth, about 3 minutes. Transfer dough to another bowl, and let rise in a warm place, covered with a damp cloth or plastic wrap, until doubled, 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Punch down dough, pressing out air bubbles.

Lightly butter a 9-inch pie plate or 9-inch square glass baking dish. Place melted butter in a bowl. Stir together remaining 1 cup sugar and the cinnamon in another bowl.

Roll dough into 1-inch balls (you should have about 45). Working with 1 at a time, dip balls into melted butter, then roll in cinnamon sugar and place in pie plate. Stack balls to form a dome. Sprinkle with any remaining cinnamon sugar, and drizzle with any leftover butter. Cover with plastic wrap, and let balls rise by half, about 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Unwrap balls and place the pie plate on a baking sheet. Bake until golden and firm, and a wooden skewer inserted into the center comes out clean, 50 to 55 minutes. Let bites cool in dish 15 minutes, then drizzle with glaze.

make vanilla glaze:

Stir together sugar and salt in a small bowl.

Whisk together butter, milk, vanilla, and a pinch of cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir into sugar until mixture forms a smooth paste. Keep glaze at room temperature until ready to drizzle over cinnamon-bun bites. Before using, whisk until smooth.

holiday treats

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 22:38:00 +0000

Are you looking for baking ideas for the holidays? Because with all the chaos going on around here, I finally just realized that, 'Oh crap! It's 20 days until Christmas. Nine more school days before the kids go on Winter Break and I haven't even thought about baking ANYTHING.'

So to get in the baking mood, I have made a handy roundup of treats and assorted baked goods that I have made over the years on ECM. And I mean I have made over and over.... so I consider them tried and true. Treats that I haven't seen anyone ever turn their noses up at and if someone baked these and showed up on my doorstep, I would welcome them with open arms and a cocktail or hot chocolate.

In no particular order:

Homemade Vanilla Extract. Yes, I am aware it's not a treat per se but if you know someone who bakes all the time, they will love this. It makes a wonderful and memorable hostess gift. Vanilla extract never goes bad and once you give them a foundation they can keep adding to it, customizing the flavor to their own individual taste. It's probably one of the most impressive gifts I give. People routinely tell me they didn't even know you could make vanilla extract. You get to look like a genius. Also, make a bottle for yourself.

cranberry streusel shortbread bars

My favorite.

Gift Idea: Take three and tie with festive ribbon and place in a cellophane bag.

anzac cookies

Great cookies that last if you want to ship overseas!

chocolate chubbies

Chocolate Nirvana!

Gift Idea: A warning sticker. Seriously, if you have a chocolate lover wrap them up and place a warning sticker on these bad boys.

triple ginger cookies

Super gingery happiness.

chocolate thumbprint cookies

You got chocolate in my cookie. No, you got peanut butter in my cookie.

buttery shortbread

Great for decorating but also great plain. My go-to cookie.

caramel, coconut, chocolate chip, and bacon magic bars

You read that right. Make them for the bacon lover, they will love you forever. Also you might want to make sure they have a prescription for Lipitor before eating.

Gift Idea: If you can find a empty box of Lipitor wrap them up in that or if you can find a cute piggy platter or bowl that would work too.

chewy oatmeal cookies

Changed the way I look and make oatmeal cookies.

cream cheese pound cake

Perfection and simplicity in every slice. This, wrapped up in a fancy dish towel with a wooden spoon and recipe cards would be a nice teacher gift.

apple upside down cake with caramel sauce

Mmmmm.

doughnut muffins

I crave these on a weekly basis. It is a cake doughnut in a muffin.

Gift Idea: Wrap these little muffins up in a lined basket with 2 mugs and a bag of coffee or tin of hot chocolate would be lovely. Especially if given on Christmas Eve.

tiramisu

The next door neighbors wouldn't be mad if you brought this to them. Especially when you have to tell them you are going to need to jackhammer a 3 foot x 3 foot section of their driveway to fix your sewer line.

dark chocolate swirl pound cake

Nor would they be mad if you brought this over to them either. Also, you can swap out the dark chocolate and replace with Nutella.

chocolate tart with pretzel crust

Sweet and salty lovers will rejoice.

lemon curd

Gift Idea: Fill Mason Jars with lemon curd wrapped with pretty ribbon. Place in a pretty basket with scones, tea, a tea pot and/or a pretty tea cup found at second hand store or discount store (Homegoods).

brownies with caramel sauce

Good Lord. Hallelujah.

Gift Idea: Make a platter of these with a bowl of caramel sauce in the center and a note to have a sweet 2012!

banana crunch bread

Best banana bread I have ever made.

Gift Idea: Wrap this up with a note to your kids teacher. "I know my kids have driven you BANANAS in the classrom at least once this year. Happy Holidays!'

coffee toffee pecan pie

banana streusel muffins

Gift Idea: Place these in a pink bakery box tied in yarn with a message that breakfast is on you!

fennel gratin

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:56:00 +0000

Admittedly, this is not a Thanksgiving dish. I know Thanksgiving is only two days away but I just had to share this dish. NOW. If someone made this for me on Thanksgiving I would happily sit in a corner with a whole platter of fennel gratin, forgo everything else at the dinner table and be perfectly happy.

I know this isn't for everyone so I won't tell you to make it now or I will cause you bodily harm because fennel is one of those ingredients that is up there with cilantro and mushrooms. There are lovers and loathers and they declare which side they stand on, very loud and clear. Think about it. People exclaim 'I LOVE' or 'I HATE'.... but no one is that says 'Meh, I can take it or leave it.'

If you love fennel this dish is just ... sigh... beautiful. I was going to say it's almost like roasted/poached in olive oil but then I realized that would make it confit. So yes, it's almost like fennel confit. [Go Krysta! Way to use my words!!!!] Salty, sweet, a little spicy, crunchy, soft, and even a little bitter all in one bite. Make sure to save the oil that the fennel was cooked in because it is wonderful dipping oil for bread.

fennel gratin: rustic italian food by marc verti
printable recipe

makes 4 to 6 servings

2 fennel bulbs, about 2 pounds, fronds trimmed and reserved
about 2 1/2 cups of olive oil
salt and freshly ground pepper
1 1/4 teaspoons red pepper flakes
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Trim the base of the fennel and remove all dark and light green parts down to the white bulb. Slice each bulb in half, lengthwise. Cut each half lengthwise into four wedges and remove cores. Lay wedges on rimmed baking sheet and add olive oil to a depth of 1/4 inch. Sprinkle each wedge with a pinch of salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes and a teaspoon of Parmesan cheese.

Bake until fork tender, about 30 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool in the oil until just warm. Using a slotted spatula, transfer to serving platter and garnish with the reserved fennel fronds.

thanksgiving appetizer ideas

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 18:18:00 +0000

If you are looking for some different ideas for appetizers this Thanksgiving, look no further.

spicy dill popcorn. Addictive.

cheese fritters with balsamic sundried tomato dipping sauce. You'll make a lot of people happy if you make these.

bacon wrapped dates. Crack bombs.

caramelized onion tart. Elegant and easy

my favorite: warm sweet onion dip.

bacon jam spread on warm bread would be nice. wink, wink.

Also, this just made me realize how many appetizer posts I do not have on ecm and our family is famous for appetizers at big meals. I must fix this immediately.

apple crisp

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 04:14:00 +0000

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction....

Good ol’ Issac Newton. I secretly think he must have been a wunderkind Buddhist/Karmic metaphysical philosopher of the 17th century. I think that dude was on to something.

Lately, every morning before I get out of bed I take a second before my feet hit the ground and wonder what is going to happen today. There has been that much action/opposite reaction going on in my life. ~~Hiding~~ Nesting under a big fluffy down comforter sounds like a really great idea.... until you need to use the restroom, ugh...then you have to get up.

The days have gone a little like this:

Grab a cart and help the lady with 3 kids at the grocery store/come home and find my bathroom flooded. Give a homeless person a dollar/get a mortgage bill in the mail that isn’t correct then spend 30 minutes in ‘you will speak to a customer service representative in 3 minutes’ phone queue hell. Let someone in my lane of traffic/sewer pipe broken.

Try to be nice and it comes back to you tenfold?

Karma's a bitch only if you are?

Someone is lying.

But then again, if the action/opposite reaction theory is true, it means if I start being mean and stop trying to be nice, good things will happen to me, right?

Sigh, my whole argument falls apart. Actually, I don't have the energy to follow through with this line of reasoning.

Anyways, it's been a tough week.

This helped. A. Lot.

Soft warm apple crisp... with two secret ingredients. Apple butter in in the filling to really amp up the cinnamon and apple taste. It's like going from mono to stereo. Also, a dash ground cloves in the topping. When you bite into the crisp, you will taste this faint and elusive slight heat that will keep people wondering what it is in this crisp that is so different from the others that they have tasted.

apple crisp:
(printable recipe)

apple filling:

4 cups peeled and sliced granny smith apples
1 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons apple butter, optional
1 tablespoon of flour
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

topping:

1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup butter, melted
3/4 cup oatmeal
3/4 cup flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
dash of ground cloves

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter (or use cooking spray) a 8x8 square pan. Mix all apple filling ingredients in a bowl. Place filling in the baking pan.

Mix all topping ingredients together and top the apple filling. You might need to use your hands to press the topping down a little bit.

Bake for 30-40 minutes until the filling is bubbling and the topping is golden brown. Best if served the day before and warmed. Also this recipe can be easily doubled.

big kitchen delonghi immersion blender giveaway winner

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 04:17:00 +0000

[walking across the golden gate bridge 9/2011]

The winner of an awesome DeLonghi Immersion Blender is comment #36.

Jeanna said...

Made this for dinner tonight. Subbed out some cheddar for pepper jack and added a few shakes of Chipotle Tobasco and served with homemade pretzel rolls. Super Yummy! But I did make a huge mess filling my blender too full and turning it on. That immersion blender would have been handy!

Jeanna please email me at krysta[@]evilchefmom.com with all of your mailing info.

I just wanted to give a big shout out to Big Kitchen,com for sponsoring this giveaway.

salted caramel pie

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:28:00 +0000

Random thoughts for a Wednesday morning:

In a world gone mad... you must choose between pie or cake.

I am oddly nonpartisan about the whole thing. I like both. A LOT. I cannot choose, I refuse to choose. I will bring both sides together to live in peace and harmony.

I also know both can be done badly. Dry cake, frosting that is more like spackling paste, tough crusts...

Actually I want 'tough crusts' to be a new euphemism/curse word/genuine curse... Tough Crusts. In the baking world that would be scandalizing! Like dropping the f-bomb but with a very specific meaning.

'You COCKADOODIE DIRTY BIRD TOUGH CRUSTS!' Shaking a balloon whisk and turning red in the face. Annie Wilkes style. That broad is scary.

I imagine that food people have their very own adult magazine on the down-low. Shot focus shots of foods, knives, kitchen equipment, and chefs all buttered and plumped up. In that month's centerfold, there would be a very detailed bio.

Some 'stars' bios would have to go like this:

Likes: 5 ingredients only, good quality vanilla and olive oil, tablescapes, anything with flames, orange clogs.

Dislikes: Not having a cocktail in my hand, vegans and vegetarians, men who do not overly pronounce the word spaghetti.

Here's mine:

Likes: Spicy foods. Cookies. Whole corn tortillas lightly fried and sprinkled with kosher salt. Anything with ginger. A guy willing to do the dishes.

Dislikes: Peas. Peppermint. Doing the dishes.

Favorite Knife: Global Chef's Knife, 10 inches.

Favorite Herb: Lemon Thyme and Basil.

Favorite Spice: Cinnamon.

Favorite thing to cook: braised short ribs with polenta.

Powerless against: Anything salted, especially salted caramel.

You now know I am powerless against anything salted, especially salted caramel. When I saw this recipe in Food & Wine, I was on it. Like 'ran to cupboard like a mad woman to make sure I had all the ingredients and didn't finish reading the magazine' on it. Come hell or high water, this pie was mine.

salted caramel pie: adapted from food & wine november 2011

printable recipe

1 1/4 cups thin chocolate wafers, crushed (nabisco's famous chocolate wafers work wonderfully)
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
two 14-ounce cans sweetened condensed milk
fleur de sel
2 cups heavy cream
2 tablespoons confectioners' sugar

Preheat the oven to 350°. In a food processor, pulse the chocolate cookie crumbs with the melted butter until the crumbs are moistened. Press the crumbs evenly into a 9-inch glass or metal pie plate. Bake for about 10 minutes, just until lightly browned. Let cool. Increase the oven temperature to 425°.

Scrape the condensed milk into a 9-by-13-inch glass baking dish and sprinkle with a scant 1/2 teaspoon of fleur de sel. Cover the dish with foil and place it in a roasting pan. Add enough hot water to the pan to reach one-third of the way up the side of the baking dish. Bake, lifting the foil to stir 2 or 3 times, until the condensed milk is golden and thickened, about 2 hours; making sure to add more water to the pan as necessary. The consistency of the caramel should be like dulce de leche. Don't worry if it is lumpy; it will smooth out as it chills.

Scrape the caramel filling into the pie crust, smoothing the top. Spray a sheet of plastic wrap with vegetable oil spray and cover the pie. Place in the refrigerator until the filling is chilled and set, at least 4 hours.

Using an electric mixer with whip attachment, beat the cream with the confectioners' sugar until firm. Remove the plastic from pie and place the whipped cream on top and sprinkle with fleur de sel. Cut into wedges and serve.

:::

Tasting notes and tips: The original recipe called for a graham cracker crust. If you do that, add a 1/4 light brown sugar when you are blending the mixture together in the food processor. I used Hawaiian Pink Sea Salt instead of fluer de sel, here's the deal do not use iodized salt, maybe kosher salt in the actual caramel.

I am sure you can imagine what it tastes like but in a way this pie is all about texture. When you first slice into the pie, the knife glides through the soft lightly sweetened whipped cream then you can feel it hit some resistance that is the stretchy chewy salty sweet caramel then the knife makes the first audible noise when it cuts through the crisp chocolate crust. Taking the first bite has the same effect but then your teeth bite on a tiny nugget of salt and then it brings into focus the textures and sweetness of the caramel, the chocolate and the whipped cream. So damn good. Well worth every single calorie.

Also, don't forget to leave a comment here and win an Immersion Blender. I made the crust and whipped cream in it much easier than whipping out a food processor or using my Kitchen Aid.

beer and cheddar soup & giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:05:00 +0000

:::contest closed:::

[beware bad/corny puns ahead!]

Happy Halloween. I have a huge treat for you.

But in the spirit of the Holiday you have to get through the scary stuff to get to the treat.

First, something a little spooky.

This is Nancy working on her Halloween makeup in the style of Dia De Los Muertos.

Garlic to keep away the vampires. Good thing too, this recipe had 3 heads of roasted garlic plus 8 cloves of sauteed garlic.

Beer and bread to fill your stomach and to keep you warm.

OHHHHH THE CALORIES!!!! Scary.

beer and cheddar soup: adapted from the kitchn
serves 8

printable recipe

1 cup unsalted butter
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 large yellow onion, diced
8 cloves garlic, minced
4 cups vegetable stock
1 cup (8 fluid ounces) of beer, the recipe calls for Stone Ruination IPA (I used Sierra Nevada Ovila Saison because I am a little obsessed with this beer and the story behind it)
1 cup whole milk
3 heads roasted garlic
1 tablespoon smoked paprika, plus more for serving
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
2 1/4 pounds cheddar cheese, grated
salt
pepper
chopped fresh chives, for garnish
water, for thinning if needed

Roast the garlic: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel outermost of the papery skin from the garlic head. Using a knife cut the top 1/4 to 1/2 inch off of the top of the garlic, making sure to expose the individual cloves of garlic. Lightly cover with olive oil. Place on a baking sheet and bake until the garlic skin is light golden brown and cloves are tender when pressed, about 1 hour.

Melt 3/4 cup of the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add the flour, whisking to avoid lumps. Cook, stirring frequently, until the flour takes on a light blond color, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and set aside.

Melt the remaining 1/4 cup butter in a large soup pot over medium heat. Stir in the onion and minced garlic and cook just until the garlic is aromatic, 30 seconds to 1 minute. Add the vegetable stock, beer, and milk. When the liquid begins to simmer, stir in the garlic, paprika, and cumin. Using a handheld immersion blender or a blender, puree until smooth. Whisk in the flour mixture until thoroughly combined. Add a handful of cheese at a time, whisking after each addition, until melted and smooth. If needed, thin soup with a little warm water for a thinner consistency.

Season with salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle with chives and paprika. Serve immediately.

Tasting Notes: This soup is decadent, warm and filling. A little goes a long way. Not an everyday soup. I would serve it with a salad with a really acidic dressing to cut through all the richness.

The Treat!!!!

Big Kitchen.com has partnered with evil chef mom for a devilishly great giveaway. Want to win a Delongi Immersion Blender? I have had this blender for a week now and I have used it for everything. I have chopped nuts, made soup, whipped cream, cookie crust, smoothies, and milk shakes. You can even chop onions in it. This is one of those gadgets you probably think you do not need until you actually have one, then you name it and think of it as one of your children and wonder what your life was before it came around.

The deets: This immersion blender has five speeds plus a turbo button for some extra oomph. An extra long shaft so it can be used in extra large pots. It has a beaker, chopper attachment, whisk attachment, and big foot. The blades are stanless steel and most of the parts are dishwasher safe. That means this is much easier than breaking out the blender for most things.

So how do I win it?

Leave a comment here. (you can leave as many as you want)

Visit Big Kitchen.com and take a look around, maybe make a Christmas wish list?!

Like Big Kitchen on Facebook.

Follow Big Kitchen on Twitter.

Winners will be announced Friday, November 4, 2011. Good Luck!

pasta carbonara with leeks and lemon

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 02:55:00 +0000

Nothing is certain but death and taxes...

I want to add a few stipulations to that:

1. Most people hate Mondays.
2. Most people think reading at the table during a meal is rude.

and

3. Parents have a litany of rules. Some great, some good, some not-so-good, and others are just arbitrary. They vary from home to home.

I also remember certain arbitrary rules I hated as a kid, making my bed for example. I thought it was stupid and vowed never to the same to my kids. So far I haven't. I make my bed but could care less about my kids. You want to sleep in a tangle of sheets and blankets? Great, fantastic, have at it. It's not for me but if you don't care, neither am I. Pick your battles is my motto.

Which brings me to #2. You can read at breakfast and lunch but dinner? No, there is no reading at the table unless I am feeling nice and I rarely feel nice. But every couple nights one of the kids would inevitably ask if they could read at the table. Really? You know the answer is (shaking the magic 8 ball) In all likelyhood, NO! Then I would get a lot of whys, how comes, and who made that rule? I honestly didn't have an answer that satisfied them or me for that matter. 'Because I said so' has never been a good reason to me. I feel like a bully when I play that card.

So we cut a deal. Every Monday night you can read at the dinner table but in exchange for that, no reading or asking to read at the dinner table for the rest of the week. It makes Mondays a little more pleasant (see #1) and has started a nice unexpected tradition. We sit at the table for a little longer and most often there is a conversation going on anyways.

This Monday night's dinner was pasta carbonara with leeks and lemon. What we were reading:

Krysta: Zone One by Colson Whitehead [so far not feeling it like the critics]
Drew: He didn't read anything this week
Will: The Bachman Books by Stephen King [the original book containing Rage]
Nancy: It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini [loves it, can't wait to read it again. movie sucked.]

pasta carbonara with leeks and lemon: everyday food november 2011
serves 4
(printable recipe)

salt and pepper
12 slices of bacon, cut crosswise into 1 inch pieces
4 leeks (white and light green parts only) halved lengthwise, rinsed well, and thinly sliced
1 pound pasta
2 large eggs
1/2 ounce Parmesan, grated (1/4 cup) plus more for serving
1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest, plus 1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 cup fresh flat leaf parsley, coarsely chopped

Set a large pot of salted water to boil. In a large skillet, cook bacon over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until crisp. With a slotted spoon, transfer bacon to paper towels to drain. Pour off all but 2 tablespoons of bacon fat from skillet. Add leeks, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring often, until leeks are golden brown, about 10 minutes.

Add pasta to pot and cook according to directions. In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, Parmesan, lemon zest and juice. Whisk 1/4 cup pasta water into egg mixture.

Drain pasta and immediately add to egg mixture, along with bacon, leeks, and parsley. Season with salt and pepper, if needed. Sprinkle with more cheese if desired and serve immediately.

apple crumb coffee cakes

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:46:00 +0000

Right now...

Time: 10:01 am

Weather: 64 degrees and sunny

On my desk: Paperwork for Andrew's IB exams, a toilet handle, and medical bills. Want to guess how much Rich's July stay in the hospital was? There is a prize to whomever guesses closest to the correct total. It was a five day stay with 3 day in ICU. GO!

In my belly: Irish Breakfast Tea and a slice of toast.

On my nightstand: We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver and Damned by Chuck Palahniuk. Both disturbing for different reasons. Warning: Neither of these books should be read before bed.

In my Amazon Shopping Cart: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga: A Practical Guide to Healing Body, Mind, and Spirit and Sweetness and Blood: How Surfing Spread from Hawaii and California to the Rest of the World, with Some Unexpected Results.

Feel free to read into what those four books say about me and my psyche.

Last movie watched: The Ides of March.

Dinner tonight: I don't know, any ideas?

:::

apple crumb coffee cakes: food & wine november 2011
makes 12
(printable recipe)

streusel

1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

crumb cakes

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 heaping teaspoon cinnamon
1 stick cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
3/4 cup sour cream
1 large egg, beaten
1 large Granny Smith apple, peeled and finely diced

Preheat the oven to 350°.

Make the streusel:

In the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a paddle, combine the flour with the brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt. Add the butter pieces and mix at medium-low speed until the mixture resembles coarse meal; continue mixing the streusel until very small clumps form. Transfer the streusel to a large plate or bowl and refrigerate until it is well chilled, about 10 minutes.

Make the cakes:

Line 12 standard-size muffin cups with paper liners. Spray the liners with vegetable oil cooking spray (or just spray the muffin tin) In the mixer bowl, combine the flour with the granulated sugar, salt, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon. Add the butter pieces and beat at low speed until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Add the sour cream and beaten egg and beat until the batter is smooth. Add the diced apple and beat just until incorporated.

Fill the muffin cups about three quarters full with the crumb cake batter. Press the streusel into clumps and sprinkle on top. Bake the crumb cakes in the center of the oven for about 30 minutes, until risen, golden and springy to the touch; rotate the pans halfway through baking. Let the crumb cakes cool slightly before serving.

Tasting Notes: This is my favorite kind of recipe. It is easy and you probably have most of the ingredients all ready in your refrigerator and pantry. Within an hour you could have these little lovelies in your hand. A Sunday snack because who turns down warm baked goods on a Sunday afternoon? Nobody, that's who! You know how sometimes coffee cake be dry and flavorless? Not these, soft and moist, full of flavor from the bits of apple, cinnamon, and sour cream. Plus, they are topped in streusel! I wish everything could be topped in streusel.

chicken enchiladas verde

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:36:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago, it was Rich's birthday and according to family tradition you get to pick your birthday meal, heart attack or not. You are allowed a 24 hour reprieve from the evil regime.

Rich's pick was chicken enchiladas with flour tortillas. Ugh, I know, I know. That's all sorts of wrong but I have made them before and it's actually pretty good. I asked Rich to go to the store to buy tortillas since we were out of them. He brought back butter flavored flour tortillas.Yes, they actually exist. Matter of fact, the first thing when you google butter flavored tortillas is this. I should have read the comments before I started cooking.

Anyways, my thinking was that the flour tortillas will absorb the sauce and you wouldn't taste the butter. Oh was I ever wrong, I should have figured that out when you could smell the strong aroma of butter coming out of the oven.

How bad could it be?

Well, we all gathered around the dinner table and the kids and I all took a bite. Then we looked at each other mid-chew and spit our enchiladas back on our plate and then looked at Rich. Of course he had taken a bite of his rice and beans first (he never eats the entree first, always the side dishes). So we waited quietly and just stared at him.

He asked, 'Why are all of you staring at me?'

"Oh just because honey. We wanted to see if you like the enchiladas.'

He took a bite, thoughtfully chewed it, barely swallowed it and then declared with all the passiveness of a great diplomat that dinner wasn't so bad. He then proceeded to eat a whole enchilada to prove he could. We all dumped our food in the trash without eating another bite. It wasn't until later he declared it was disgusting, like eating popcorn flavored enchiladas.

Popcorn. Flavored. Enchiladas.

And he ate it.

I should have trusted my instincts to run far, far away when I saw butter flavored tortillas.

I owed Rich are redemptive* birthday dinner.

Really, is there not a better definition than redemptive? (Redemptive /riˈdemptiv/ adj.: Acting to save someone from error or evil: "redemptive love".)

But then it gets even better. My sister was at my house when Rich brought home the evil tortillas and she heard my 'how bad could it be?' comment. I texted her to warn her how horrifying it actually could be. The next morning when I log on to Facebook there is a message from my brother in law.

'Authentic as can be, Tortillas of the corn type. Hot oil. Enchilada sauce (red). Geso fresco (of your choice). Cilantro, diced white onion.Dip tortilla in warm sauce. Fry sauce laden Tortilla in oil until soft. Place on plate and sprinkle with queso fresco. Fold in half and repeat until desired quantity is achieved. Sprinkle cilantro and onions on top and enjoy authentic bliss!'

Oh fuck no, he did not just do that. He typed authentic bliss, matter of fact he used authentic twice. He wrote tortilla of the corn type. Like I don't know what kind of tortillas are actually in enchiladas. He just told me how to make enchiladas like a 2 year old who has never stepped foot into a kitchen. Pretentious much? Now I love my brother in law, he is one of the few people in this whole wide world I would lay down in front of a train for (still would) but he did not just tell me how to make enchiladas. I admit I get rather grouchy after cooking a horrible meal especially when I know what mistakes I made. But I especially hate being corrected first thing in the morning when I already know the mistake I made. Make Krysta MAD. Smash computer screen. SMASH! Let's just say I have a lot of pride and leave it at that. My curt reply was, 'I know.... but that's not what Rich wanted for his birthday dinner.' And I seethed for days.

This is how I normally make chicken enchiladas verde. Step by step. I don't have a recipe unless you count my helpful brother in law's.

Place corn tortillas on the counter to warm up to room temperature.

Boil a whole chicken in large pot with a couple cloves of peeled garlic, a jalapeno, and a white onion cut into chunks.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Remove husks and wash a few pounds of tomatillos.

Half or quarter tomatillos, depending on size. Cut two white onions and a few jalapenos into chunks. Place everything into a large roasting pan. Sprinkle lightly with salt and cook until they look like the picture below.

While the tomatillos are cooking. Place a few Anaheim peppers on a gas flame, rotating them until they are black and completely charred. (This picture was taken at the halfway point) When the peppers are completely charred, place them in a ziplock bag and seal the bag.

If you do not a gas stove, lightly cover the peppers in vegetable oil and place them under the broiler until charred.

Grate some Monterey Jack cheese or even better if you can find Queso Blanco, use that.

By this point the chicken should be cooked. Take it out of the pot and place it in a bowl. Once cooled, shred chicken. Making sure to separate the skin and bones from the meat. Place meat into a large bowl and half of the grated cheese. Set aside.

Remove peppers from the the bag. Remove all the blackened skin, cut in half and remove seeds. Then slice peppers into long strips then dice.

At this point, your tomatillo should be roasted.

Decrease the oven temperature to 350 degrees.

Working in batches, scoop some of the tomatillo mixture into a blender and blend until smooth.

Remember to leave some space in your blender and leave the top off with a towel over the top, hot liquid expands and you don't want your blender to blow up.

Place a fine mesh strainer over a large bowl. Pour the tomatillo mixture into the strainer, and using the back of a ladle push the liquid through the strainer. You will be left with some seeds and skin from the tomatillos.

Add water if you feel that the sauce is too thick.

Add a ladle full of sauce to the chicken and cheese mixture. Mix. Set aside.

(You can add more sauce, I prefer my enchiladas not swimming in sauce)

Line a large baking sheet with paper towels.

In a frying pan, heat vegetable oil until almost smoking.

Place a corn tortilla into the hot oil and cook for a few seconds. Until the tortilla is floppy and soft. Make sure they do not get crispy. Drain a lined baking sheet. Repeat.

Here's where my brother in law recommends 'Fry sauce laden Tortilla in oil until soft.' You can do this, if you want. I have done this. Yes, it's authentic but I don't think he has ever had to clean that mess up because I still remember the mess it made and I have fried a lot of shit in my lifetime and have made HUGE messes in the kitchen and frying tortillas dipped in sauce goes down as one of the worst EVER. Sauce was on the ceiling, it was on the furthest wall from the frying pan. I will not do that again in the name of authenticity.

Lightly coat a glass 9x13 glass baking dish with PAM cooking spray. Then ladle some sauce into the glass pan. Coat the tortilla in sauce, fill with chicken mixture (not too much, them roll.)

Dip, fill, roll until the pan is full.

Pour more sauce over the top and sprinkle cheese over the enchiladas. Bake in the oven until golden brown and the cheese is melted.

While the enchiladas are baking, finely dice some white onion. Chop some cilantro and tomatoes. Warm up some extra tomatillo sauce.

Spoon some sauce over the top. Sprinkle cheese, onion and cilantro over the finished dish. Serve warm.

(printable recipe)

cream cheese pound cake

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 18:20:00 +0000

This was the post where I was going to talk about the worst meal ever. I am going to have to give you a rain check on that. The last two days included a Hot Wheel being flushed down a toilet by a three year old, a guy calling me Rosie O'Donnell for a second time (he's homeless, obviously mentally ill but being called Rosie (TWICE) by a homeless mentally ill man? Well you start thinking you might need drastic plastic surgery.) and nursing a teenager who had her wisdom teeth pulled. What I really want to know is if PAM has a spray that repels trouble, insults, and sickness but can keep your self esteem sticking? If they sold that I would be a customer for LIFE.

This is my final post for PAM Cooking Spray. I have a one for next week that they didn't ask me to do but because I am feeling like an overachiver and it was meant to be this post but I didn't get pictures before everything was demolished.

Ok, I am rambling. So to get to the point, this pound cake is a tired and true favorite. I have made it 10 ways to Sunday and it always works. When I serve it, people ask for the recipe. It's dead simple but you will keep coming back to the kitchen because you just want one more tiny little sliver and before you know it, the pound cake is all gone. It's adaptable like any great pound cake, it's dense and moist with a great crumb. It holds up well by itself. It is killer with ice cream. Even better with strawberries and whipped cream or peaches and cream. If you wanted to stew some thickly sliced apples, heavily spiced with cinnamon and nutmeg and serve it on top, well go for it, after all it's Autumn.

Because pound cake is so simple, it has to come out of the pan neatly. No one wants a messed up slice of pound cake. I speak from experience. This is hard won wisdom, folks. A long time ago I tried to serve a pound cake that didn't come out cleanly from the oven, even though it tasted great, nobody touched it. Lesson learned, grease your pan well because even a great recipe will turn out to be a disaster if the preparation is bad.

One final point, if you have been reading ECM for awhile, you know Rich had a heart attack this summer. If you read this recipe, your first thought will be that I am trying to kill him with all the cholesterol in this recipe. Nope, he is pretty good at staying away from this stuff by himself but he still wants baked goods once and awhile.An added bonus of PAM is that there are no calories, no transfat, no saturated fat, no cholesterol, or sodium. Everything Rich has to stay away from. Even though most dishes contain fats and cholesterol, by using PAM in dishes this one way I can make sure we can control Rich's cholesterol intake.*

*Which totally sounded like a commerical or that they asked me to write this but funny thing is PAM never mentioned it and now that I am huge Nutrition Label reader, I noticed this myself. Crazy, how the world works.

:::

cream cheese pound cake:
makes one bundt cake or 2 loaves
(printable recipe)

1 1/2 cups butter, softened
1 (8 ounce) package of cream cheese, softened
3 cups sugar
6 eggs
1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
3 cups cake flour

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spray a 12- cup Bundt pan with PAM cooking spray. (or two 9 inch loaf pans) Combine all ingredients except flour and beat until smooth. Add cake flour 1/2 cup at a time. Stir together until smooth. Pour into pan. Bake for 70 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Normally I do a random number generator for my giveaways and I did four comments this way then I picked one on purpose, you'll see why. But I swear the comments random number generator was looking out for these commentors.

So let's do the random numbers first!

#38 Stacey Jones: I have to work this Thanksgiving. But we will be celebrating it either after I get off work or on the weekend. What I'm looking forward to is cooking with my husband and teaching my children to cook. Hopefully they will learn recipes to hand down to their kids. My husband and I will clean up probably after a nap together! Lol happy holidays! Stay safe!

Teaching her children how to cook and working Thanksgiving! The random number genorator was looking after her.

#9 mlmnttlkn: Have no idea what our holiday plans are yet, the worst part will probably be hubby going to bed super early to work black friday morning at walmart.

Dude, I have worked Black Friday at Target for years, I know the chaos that ensues. I cannot even imagine how Black Friday at Walmart would be.

#5 Kristin Caler: I LOVE all the fall flavors, the root veggies, the squashes, gourds, pumpkins, everything.

Same here. Fall is my favorite time of year.

Amanda Paroli on Facebook: Just in time for the holiday's. Perfect for making yummy food and spending time with family and friends. Nothing is better.

Amanda, put this toolkit to good use!

AND

I picked this one... I had to after you read it you would have too. I might be called Evil Chef Mom but I am not called the Grinch.

#41 Ashlyne: Every month I send my Dad eight to twelve dozen cookies to share with the troops where he is deployed. This holiday season I look forward to sending more cookies and other types of baked goods to our troops over seas. I do not look forward to my first Christmas away from my dad. (P.S. I am 12 and my Mom said I can post on her account because I can’t have one, but I really want to win this). Ashlyne

Ashlyne: I hope this helps and most off all I hope your dad stays safe. There are no words that express how I am feeling right now knowing you have to spend your first Christmas away from your dad.

If you won, please send your mailing information to krysta(at)evilchefmom.com

a PAM cooking spray toolkit giveway

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 21:31:00 +0000

:::contest closed:::

My mom mentioned Thanksgiving the other day. Already? Really? I can't even think a week in advance, let alone think about hosting and planning a menu for the holidays.

What does that have to do with a giveaway?

PAM cooking spray has generously sponsored a giveaway with Evil Chef Mom.

Check it out. If you win, you will receive a box that includes:

-PAM branded spatula
-PAM branded oven mitt
-Pyrex baking dish (13” x 9”)
-12-cup muffin tin
-One full can of the new and improved PAM
-PAM related recipes

Which should totally help with the fast approaching holidays and clean up. Which is the whole point of PAM, right? And if you tell me you couldn't use another Pyrex baking dish, a muffin tin, spatula, or oven mitt then I know you are one of those people who have already finished your Christmas shopping for this year. Sigh, that makes me depressed.

Anyways...

DID I MENTION I GET TO GIVE AWAY 5 TOOLKITS?

How to win?

First: You have to be a US resident.

Second: Leave a comment about what you are looking forward to the most about the holidays or what you are least looking forward to... (cough, cough... DISHES!)

That's it.

If you would like an extra entries: you can like PAM on Facebook and then leave a comment on ECM on Facebook.

I will announce winners on Friday with my last PAM experiment. Which includes the redemption from the worst meal I have ever made and coincidentally on a good day one of the worst meals to clean up.

pumpkin gingersnap ice cream

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 13:00:00 +0000

'Ewwwww. What is that smell?' Katie asked me when she opened up her dorm room closet.

'Everything is just a little musty. It happens with an old building that's been closed up all summer. Let's open a few windows and air it out. Everything should be fine.' I told her.

Now, I feel the need to point out that Mills is an OLD school. Not the kind of 'there's no school like the old school' with big fat gold chains and clam shell Adidas.

I mean like established in 1852 old school. There are bound to be funky musty smells. Think of those two men up there after not showering plus wearing some Icy Hot and not changing their underwear for a few days. Funky/musty smells are part of the charm. Just like old guys. I know, I married one.

:::

Moving is always stressful. Then add moving into a strange smelling dorm room with your mom, your father, and step-mom... all who are trying to be polite to each other which results in no one speaking to anybody unless it's about the traffic or weather and after 45 seconds those topics are exhausted. No one even makes eye contact with each other, there is a weird tense vibe in the air PLUS whatever that smell is. Trying to make sure everyone gets just enough attention so later on you don't have to hear about how rude it was to exclude so and so with the inside jokes. Just exactly who are the adults in the room? Plus that god awful smell. WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

This makes for a very high strung daughter. I mean Katie, it is fair to say is already high strung enough as it is but this? This just takes the proverbial cake.

I begin sniffing around her room while everyone is unpacking her stuff. There it was... in the corner, on the ceiling in her closet. Water damage but not just a water mark that comes from living in an old building but a paint bubbling saggy ceiling problem.

'Ummmm, Katie? You are going to need to report this.' Pointing up to closet ceiling. 'Also, this is why your room stinks. Move your clothes someplace else in case the ceiling decides to fall in.'

Cue the squawking baby pterodactyl.

:::

The next day the building maintenance crew comes in to take a look.

Building Dude #1 confers with other Building Dude. We will call him Charlie. Charlie and Building Guy #1 start talking. There is some silence of silence, then some muttering... and some hmmmmm's. I imagine some rubbing of chins in deep thought and scratching of heads in puzzlement going on with Building Dude #1 and Charlie.

'We need to go see what's on the second floor to see what could be causing this damage.' BD#1 and Charlie tell Katie. After awhile BD# 1 and Charlie come back. More hmmm's and muttering go on. They then turn to her and say, 'There's a problem. Last year we had a raccoon infestation and it looks like they used the crawlspace above your closet as a litter box. Someone will be by to fix it tomorrow.'

When Katie calls to tell me this, I ask, 'Repair how? Because you understand this isn't a scrape the bad paint and repaint? This is replace the drywall, re-plaster the ceiling type job. And if it's really bad.... hazmat, replacing the whole ceiling and insulation if it's in there, maybe replacing the wood beams if the urine has soaked through and hasn't dried. Also mold and because it's an old building there might be asbestos AND you know there has to be lead paint. Which means don't eat the paint chips that fall on the floor.Watch, they are going to repaint the ceiling to get you off their backs trying to do the cheapest thing possible because this is just a Pandora's box waiting to happen and all it's going to do is result in you having a urine paint smell in your room. Be prepared to move... eventually.'

Do I need to tell you what Building Dude #1 and Charlie did? There wasn't enough foreshadowing in that last paragraph for you?

Yup, they went the cheap route. Which resulted in a urine/funky/musty/paint smelling mess.

:::

A month later. Katie gets moved out of her dorm room because THE RACCOONS ARE BACK and using the same spot above her closet as a litter box. It's like how salmon always go back year after year to the same spot to spawn. Apparently, raccoons go back to the same spot to take a dump.

This being the Bay Area and a very politically correct school, the raccoons will be humanly caught and released somewhere else. So before making the repairs, the raccoons have to be caught. Bully for the raccoons!

Which would be great and all... if some student stopped releasing the raccoons from the traps before the professionals get to them.

Oh yes, you read that right... at night some student is going out and releasing the raccoons from the traps. Katie is starting to feel a little like this...

To be continued.

[Katie, this ice cream is waiting for you when you get home!]

pumpkin gingersnap ice cream: sunset magazine october 2011
printable recipe

1 pt. whipping cream
1/2 cup milk
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup coarsely crushed gingersnaps
2 tablespoons bourbon (optional)*

Whisk all ingredients except gingersnaps and bourbon in a bowl to blend. Strain into an ice cream maker and freeze according to manufacturer's directions. Scrape ice cream into a bowl and stir in gingersnaps and bourbon. Freeze, covered, until scoopable, 2 1/2 hours and up to 1 week (gingersnaps soften somewhat after 1 day).

*Because this ice cream doesn't contain eggs, I highly recommend adding the bourbon to keep this ice cream from freezing into a massive brick. See this comment thread explaining why. Also, since you are adding the bourbon at the end of this recipe make sure to use something that isn't rotgut because you will taste it. Makers Mark is nice.

apple upside down cake with caramel sauce

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 15:45:00 +0000

DIBS!!!!

Seriously I had to call dibs on this recipe. I showed this to a bunch of food bloggers and while they were ooohing and ahhing, I was like, 'Oh crap! Who is going to beat me to making and posting this cake?' So I called dibs after asking if it was rude to call it. Have you seen this cake? It's like a caramel apple in cake form. I am all over that in a heartbeat. Anyways... I had plans for this cake.

What plans?

Well, I am doing a couple posts for PAM cooking spray and an awesome giveaway next week. They sent me an email asking if I might be interested in partnering with them to try out their new and improved formula to see if makes cooking and clean up a bit easier. I must have been feeling feisty because I was yelling at the email, 'BRING IT ON! I have a couple recipes that will make it weep.I have recipes that dishes, pots, and pans need to soak for days afterwards. I will show it no mercy!'

So first up, an upside down apple cake baked in a caramel sauce. Have you ever tried to clean up caramel after it's cooled? No bueno. It is not at all fun.

When a recipe calls for you to line it with parchment paper AND grease the parchment, you know you are in trouuuuuuble.

I totally bet you read that last sentence like you were 8 years old.

upside apple cake with caramel sauce: adapted from king arthur flour
(printable recipe)

topping:

2 medium apples
4 tablespoons butter
3/4 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
2 tablespoons boiled cider or thawed apple juice concentrate
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup Lyle's golden syrup or light corn syrup

cake:

3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
2 tablespoons boiled cider or thawed apple juice concentrate
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 large apple, peeled and finely chopped
3/4 cup toasted chopped pecans, optional

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 9" round cake pan at least 2" deep with PAM Cooking Spray Line the bottom with parchment, and spray the parchment.

Place pecans on a baking sheet and toast them just until they become aromatic, about 5 minutes.

Prep the apples; Peel, core, and slice apple apples into 1/4" thick wedges. Place the apples into the prepared pan in overlapping concentric circles.

Prepare the topping: Heat the butter, sugar, boiled cider, cinnamon, and corn syrup together over low heat, stirring until the sugar is dissolved. Pour 1/2 cup of the syrup mixture into the prepared pan, and set the rest aside.

To make the cake: Beat the oil, brown sugar, boiled cider, eggs, spices, and salt together for 2 minutes at medium speed. Mix the flour with the baking soda, and stir it into the batter. Add the chopped apple and nuts, and mix until just blended. Drop scoops of the batter atop the apples in the pan, gently spreading to cover. Bake the cake for 50 to 55 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted near the center comes out clean. Remove the cake from the oven, and run a thin spatula around the edge to loosen. Let the cake cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then turn it out onto a serving plate, bottom side up. Scrape out any sauce that remains in the pan, and spread it over the cake.

Reheat the reserved topping. If butter starts to separate as you reheat, add water by the teaspoon and stir until the butter rejoins the rest of the sauce.

Pour the sauce over the cake. Serve cake warm or at room temperature, with whipped cream if desired.

:::

A couple notes: If you can find apple cider, make boiled cider. It's lovely and adds lots of depth to this cake. My friend Rebecca says, 'It’s like everything wonderful about fall condensed into one syrup.' Also, most people freak out when reading the words corn syrup. Mind you corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup are two different things but if you still don't feel comfortable using corn syrup in recipes, Lyle's Golden Syrup is a wonderful substitution.

That was the pan afterwards. The caramel and apples came away cleanly from the pan as I flipped the cake onto the cake stand and it took all of a minute to clean the pan with hot water and some soap. I am 0 for 1.

(This is a sponsored post. I received compensation, a toolkit, and PAM promotional items from ConAgra Foods. My opinions are my own and was in no way told what to write. This is my FTC disclosure)

curried cauliflower rice

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:23:00 +0000

After a weekend full of craptastic food and a cooking disaster of the worst order (more on that in a later post), this was the redeeming dish. It was meant to be a throwaway dish, easy and not too complicated. A meal to get back some food mojo that has been lacking since the weekend.

Let's put it this way.... it started out on Friday evening being served a barely seared on the outside completely raw on the inside hamburger at a nice restaurant to throwing away a whole meal after taking one bite awful on Sunday. It was horrible.

If I used twitter more often this would be under the hash tag #foodbloggerproblemsthatnoonecaresabout.

This dish was a nice surprise. I didn't plan on making this recipe but it was the first one I saw in the new Everyday Food and it was a done deal without really ever thinking about it. Pleasantly spicy and rich without being heavy. The cauliflower was tender but had a little bite to it, make sure to caramelize the cauliflower well to give it a nice flavor. The rice wasn't creamy per se but you knew it wasn't just cooked in water or broth. This will be one of those go-to dishes that will be on regular rotation here.

one pot curried cauliflower rice: everyday food october 2011
printable recipe

serves 6

4 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 large head cauliflower, cored and cut into 1 1/2 pieces
salt and pepper
1 medium yellow onion, diced small
2 cups of basmati rice
4 teaspoons curry powder
1 can (15.5 ounces) chickpeas, rinsed and drained
2 3/4 cups of low sodium chicken or vegetable broth
1/2 cup heavy cream
chopped cilantro

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a Dutch oven or other heavy pot, heat 2 teaspoons oil over medium high. Add cauliflower and cook, stirring frequently, until browned in spots. This might need to be done in batches. Transfer to a plate and season with salt and pepper. Add 2 teaspoons of oil and onions to pot; cook, stirring occasionally , until onion is translucent, 5 minutes. Add rice, curry powder, and chickpeas and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring constantly, until rice is coated, about 2 minutes. Add broth and cream and bring to a boil. Scatter cauliflower over the top (do not stir to combine) Cover and bake until rice is tender and liquid is absorbed, 15 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving. Sprinkle with cilantro before serving.

chocolate chip pretzel cookies

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 03:23:00 +0000

A Cookie Haiku

cookie, sweet and salty
warm from oven
get in my belly

Once in awhile, I get something in my inbox that makes me stupidly giddy with excitement. Especially when the email reads 'Want to review a book called Cookiepedia?' It's really hard not to respond with a 'Oh hell yes!!! I want, wait reverse that, HAVE to review that book.' Honestly I would drop the f-bomb but some well meaning person will tell me to get over myself and think I told the publisher that. Which I didn't but that's how excited I get about cookbooks that are all about cookies. I am one happy... mothershutyo'mouth.

Especially when there is a recipe that says throw in whatever you crave... in this case, sweet and salty and oh by the way these are huge cookies. I am so on board with that, I already bought the ticket and booked a room on the Lido deck.

This book has some basic recipes like chocolate chip, snickerdoodles, and peanut butter cookies. Which it has to have, it's a cookiepedia but then it also has some unique ones like salt and pepper cookies, animal cookies with frosting and sprinkles, and cardamom cookies. Bonus points for it being spiral bound (it lays flat!!!!), a place to take notes AFTER EVERY recipe, also after every recipe there are ideas on how to make them your own. Someone really put a lot of thought into the layout of this cookbook, which I appreciated because if you have enough cookbooks you know that layout can be an afterthought in some other cookbooks.

chocolate chip pretzel cookies: adapted from the cookiepedia; mixing, baking, and reinventing the classics by stacy adimando
(printable recipe)

makes 1 1/2 dozen cookies

1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 egg, plus 1 egg white
2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup of chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups of pretzels, broken into cookie friendly pieces

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set them aside. Cream the butter and both sugars in medium speed until they are light and fluffy. Add the vanilla and eggs and continue to beat on low speed until well combined, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.

Mix together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture in two batches, beating slowly after each addition, until fully incorporated.

Pour the chocolate chips and pretzels in the mixer bowl. Use a spatula to stir them together.

Portion 2 heaping tablespoons of dough at a time into imperfect balls and place them at least 2 inches apart on the lined cookie sheets.Bake rotating sheets halfway through, until cookies are golden brown, about 16 to 18 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

( i received this complimentary book for review from quirk publishing. my opinions are my own and was in no way told what to write. i actually really like this book and would have paid for it out my own pocket ....so this is my ftc disclosure)

homemade ricotta

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 13:00:00 +0000

at this moment...

Time: 6:25 PM Sunday evening

Weather outside: 90 degrees Fahrenheit with a NW Delta breeze at 3 MPH. Sunny and Clear.

On my desk: ad hoc at home, sara foster's southern kitchen, food and wine march 2011, a binder full of fundraising calendars and by laws paperwork for my kids school's parent group, my camera, and a rock.

On the back of my chair: Racer X. She has taken to sitting on the back of my computer chair like a pirate's parrot.

On my feet: Nada. Naked as a the day I was born.

On my nightstand: Battle Royale

In my Amazon shopping cart: This is embarrassing...

Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life
The Submission: A Novel
Screen Doors and Sweet Tea: Recipes and Tales from a Southern Cook
Those Guys Have All The Fun: Inside The World of ESPN

Pre Ordered:

An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace
Zone One: A Novel
The Mozza Cookbook
11/22/63: A Novel

In the movie queue: Howl's Moving Castle

In the oven: Pizza

In my ears: An actual cat's paw [see above] also the Prime Time Emmys.

In my tummy: Soon to be pizza with candied jalapenos on top.

In my future: Pizza

On tap for dinner: Did you see the above mentioned pizza?

Latest obsession: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Tahitian Vanilla Caramels

In March, I was invited by Amy to go to San Fransisco and watch Nancy Silverton do a cooking demo. You can read about it here. Anyways, I am anxiously awaiting her book that I preorded from Amazon (hurry up and get here September 27!!!). The cover alone makes me want to spend some quality time with it away on a secluded romantic beach. We will talk about olive oil, pizzas, and cheese. Because what else would a food blogger do with a cookbook alone on a beach?

At the demo, Nancy Silverton made ricotta. Now I thought I hated... actually loathed ricotta. Come to find out that wasn't necessarily the case. I just hadn't had freshly made from scratch ricotta. It's a whole different beast.

homemade ricotta: nancy silverton
(printable recipe)

yields 8 ounces (which is not nearly enough)

4 cups whole milk
1 cup heavy whipping cream
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed and strained lemon juice
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

Without stirring, pour milk, cream, lemon juice, and salt in a small heavy bottom stainless steel saucepan and bring to a boil. Turn off heat and set aside until mixture cools slightly approximately 5-10 minutes. You will see the ricotta separating into curds. Line a strainer or colander with a cheesecloth and place it in the sink. Scoop the curds out of the saucepan and into the strainer or colander to drain. Don't pour it because you don't want to break up the curds. You can use the ricotta, while it's still warm, or tie the cheesecloth onto the handle of a long wooden spoon. Place spoon over a bowl so the bundle is hanging over the bowl and place it in the refrigerator to drain until you are ready to use it or for up to 2 days.

homemade funfetti cake

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:00:00 +0000

Hey! Hi! Come here. I have a secret I want to share with you. Come in closer because I'd rather whisper it in your ear. I don't want everyone to know. Just you. Come closer. Okay, ready? Promise me you won't laugh? All right... deep breath.

'I have a rather addictive personality. No, no, no, really I don't think you understand. I stayed away from the internet for years because I knew what would happen and it did. I don't gamble because I'd never leave the casino until Pesci and DeNiro, a la Casino, took a hammer to my hands. I try to stay away from Tetris and Angry Birds because duuuude I would end up fused to the couch and the fire department would have to haul me away on a flat bed with me still attached to the couch. My kids have been known to become orphans when a new Harry Potter book came out. Now it's Pinterest.'

Stop laughing.

So yeah, Pinterest. If you have never heard of it, let me say Pinterest is like a highly narcotic drug for OCD addictive type personalities, IT'S AWESOME. Lots of Oprah voice going on right there also add some jazz hands so you understand how awesome it's awesomeness really is. The only way I can describe it is how kids must feel on the internet today when they discover a whole world of pornography out there. My discovery is innocent but there is still that level of fascination and excitement and a little bit of shame about how much time I spent on Pinterest. Good thing about Pinterest is I am not growing hair on my hands or going blind. So I got that going for me.

A virtual pinboard of everything you like on the internet in tidy subject categories. For me, a teenager who was obsessed over my bulletin board and walls in my bedroom...adding favorite pictures of the hot band or teen heartthrob, favorite advertisements of shit I wanted when I would be a fabulously rich adult (clothes, makeup, cars) stickers that came attached to the price tags of the clothes. You get the picture... material greed at its teenagery best. Now, I have a new bulletin board that never runs out of room or gets messy. I'm all giddy just typing that.

I'm a little obsessed right now but the good thing is that I have discovered and tried a lot of new things because of it.

Like this cake. Good Lord, that picture made me smile and sent me off in a tailspin of obsession. I kept wondering what excuse I could possibly find to make it. I think it was because it looks so happy and this summer was not full of much happiness. Who pouts and is all get off my lawn when you see a funfetti cake? That's right NO ONE because it's funfetti, FUN is in its name. It's bright and colorful and gosh darn it people like me (meaning:cake). Tender moist white cake, buttercream frosting, and jimmies sprinkled through out and on top. Call the SWAT team because it's a sugar bomb of great proportions.

homemade funfetti cake: inspired from the kitchn. cake recipe from ad hoc at home by thomas keller
(printable recipe)

white cake:

3 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into pieces, at room temperature
2 3/4 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups whole milk
3/4 cups egg whites (from about 6 large eggs)*, at room temperature
1/3 cup of multi-colored jimmies (it is one whole bottle)

vanilla buttercream frosting:

1 cup unsalted butter (2 sticks) softened
3-4 cups confectioners sugar, sifted
1/4 teaspoon table salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
up to 4 tablespoons milk or heavy cream

extra jimmies for decorating

baking the cake:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour two 9 inch cake pans.

Sift together the flour and baking powder into a bowl. Stir in salt. Set aside.

In a bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a paddle, beat the butter and 1 1/2 cups of sugar at medium speed to combine. Increase the speed to medium high and beat, scraping down the sides as necessary, until the mixture is pale and thick, about five minutes. Beat in vanilla, then add the dry ingredients in 3 additions, alternating with the milk in 2 additions. The batter will be thick. Transfer batter to a large bowl.

Put egg whites into a clean mixer bowl and whisk on medium speed until whites begin to foam. Increase speed to medium high and gradually add the remaining 1 1/4 cups of sugar, then beat on high speed until the meringue is thick and glossy and holds almost stiff peaks. Fold one third of the whites into the batter to lighten it, then fold in the remaining whites. Gently add the 1/3 cup of jimmies and fold into cake batter until thoroughly combined.

Divide batter evenly into the prepared pans. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until tops are slightly golden and spring back when pressed. Remove from oven and place pans on baking racks to cool for about 10 minutes. Turn pans over onto rack to release the cakes (almost wrote Kracken). Flip cake layers over and let them cool completely before frosting.

make the frosting:

Beat butter for a few minutes with a mixer with the paddle attachment on medium speed. Add 3 cups of powdered sugar and turn your mixer on the lowest speed until the sugar has been incorporated with the butter. Increase mixer speed to medium and add vanilla extract, salt, and 2 tablespoons of milk and beat for 3 minutes. If your frosting needs a more stiff consistency, add remaining sugar. If your frosting needs to be thinned out, add remaining milk 1 tablespoon at a time.

*with all those extra egg yolks laying around, I recommend maybe making some homemade ice cream to go with the cake.

tomato jam

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 13:00:00 +0000

I want to make a passionate plea for tomato jam.

Alright, I admit it's maybe more of making a persuasive case for you to make tomato jam.

1. Normally tomatoes are best in early September and in abundance which equates to cheap. Super cheap, especially if you get ugly tomatoes. Ugly tomatoes are the ones that are a little bruised, misshapen, about to go bad. Remember that those tomatoes need love too. I bought 25 pounds for 3 dollars at the farmer's market.With that 25 pounds, I made:

- 2 gallons of spaghetti sauce
- 4 quarts of pickled tomatoes with jalapenos
- 3 pints of tomato jam
- salsa

2. Pretty soon it will be winter and you won't remember what a fresh ripe homegrown summer tomato tastes like. It is going to get cold. The sky will get dark at 5PM. The rain, snow, fog, wind, damp bitter weather will make you cry for yo' momma or reach for the Prozac and a bottle of tequila.

[Right here is where Katie will call me up from college and say, 'Mooooooom, you know you can't mix anti-depressants with alcohol. Why even suggest it?' I will tell her, 'It's called hyperbole,dear and anyways you will do former not the latter.' Also... don't mix anti-depressants with tequila. This PSA brought to you by ECM. ]

In this case, some forethought will provide you some summertime [legal/non-lethal/non-prescription] happiness in the middle of a deary winter.

This recipe is the essence of summer. Sweet but with little bit of tang from the vinegar, surprisingly it is jammy with a pleasant little kick from the chile pepper, red pepper flakes, and ginger. A mouth full of umami. Honestly, I want to wallow in this like a pig in shit it's so good.

I bet you are now wondering how to serve this wonderful essence of summer? Toast with eggs. Fresh hot bread with some mozzarella. Pizza. Quesedillas. Fried chicken with mashed potatoes and biscuits. Slather it on your body? I don't care. Just make it.

tomato jam: sara foster's southern kitchen
(printable recipe)
makes about 2 pints (I ended up with 3 pints)

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, smashed and minced
3 pounds of tomatoes, cored and chopped
2/3 cup if unpacked light brown sugar
1/4 cup apple cider
zest and juice of 1 orange
2 tablespoons freshly grated ginger
1 tablespoon fresh thyme
1 small chile pepper, cored and minced (I used jalapeno)
2 teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons sea salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
4 whole cloves

Heat olive oil in a nonreactive saucepan over medium heat until hot. Add the onion and cook and stir for about five minutes, until soft and golden. Add the garlic and cook and stir for 1 minute more. Add the tomatoes, brown sugar, vinegar, orange zest and juice, ginger, thyme, chile pepper, red pepper flakes, salt, black pepper, and cloves and stir to mix.

Bring the mixture to a boil, reduce heat to a low boil and simmer until thick, stirring occasionally, about 30 minutes. Using a potato masher, mash the jam to a chunky consistency.

Remove from heat and let cool slightly. (Skip removing from heat if you are canning this jam)

Refrigerate in an airtight container until ready to serve, or for up to one month.

Canning Instructions:

Sterilize jars, lids, and rings in a large pot, cover with water, and boil for 10-15 minutes. Turn off the heat and leave the jars in the pot, covered, until ready to fill.

Bring another large pot of water to a roiling boil.

Drain and carefully fill hot jars, taking care not to touch the rims or interiors with your bare hands. Use a funnel if you have one. Leaving a 1/4 inch of headspace.

With a clean towel, wipe down rims and sides of jars. Place the sterilized lids on the jars and screw on the rings until secure but not fully tightened.

Place jars in the boiling water, reduce heat and keep at a boil for 10 minutes.When you are done processing, turn off the heat and let jars sit in the water for another 5 minutes. Remove jars from the water and let sit undisturbed until completely cool, about 5 hours or overnight. As the jars cool down you should be able to hear the lids popping. That's the sign that they have sealed correctly. If they haven't 'popped' store in the refrigerator and eat promptly.

Check the seal on each lid. If sealed correctly, the center will be slightly depressed and will not' pop' when pressed.

Clearly mark jars with the packing date. Store in a cool, dark place until ready to use. This jam should keep for up to 6 months. Refrigerate after opening and use within 1-2 months.

Warning: use good judgement when opening. If it smells funky, don't eat it. If it looks funky, don't eat it. Anything funky? Just throw out. Got it? Good.

spanakopita (spinach pie)

noreply@blogger.com (krysta) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 16:44:00 +0000

If you live in my house and you have a birthday, you get to choose your birthday dinner and cake. If you wanted a deep fried Big Mac sandwich with a Red Bull aoili dipping sauce... I might grimace and look at you strange ~~maybe~~, no I will definitely ask, 'Are you smoking something I should know about?' But you'd get your damn deep fried Big Mac unless you are Rich but he says he's living under an evil regime now. I have heard Kim Jong Il muttered toward my direction a few times.

But I digress.

Depending on which kid's birthday it can be a whole month of them planning, scheming, and combing through cookbooks. French Laundry, Bouchon, and Ad Hoc being the favorite cookbooks to torture me with.

*cough cough* Katie, Nancy. *cough cough*

On the other hand, dinner could be like Andrew who always seems to ask for ravioli. Except for this year, when his dad had a heart attack the day before his birthday. Needless to say, I still have an IOU on his birthday dinner.

Then there is Will. Will's birthday is easy peasy laid back lemon squeezy. His birthday always falls near our local Greek Food Festival. Every year he asks to go there. This weekend being no exception. Gyros, brown butter pasta with Mizithra cheese, baklava, spanakopita, walnut cake and my favorite, loukomades (deep fried dough with honey and cinnamon) are just some of the things we normally sample.

To me good spanakopita is tricky to get right. The phyllo dough should be light, buttery, rich and never soggy or too greasy. There should be lots of filling that's flavorful; salty from the feta, spicy peppery from the spinach. I like more filling to phyllo dough and this recipe reflects that.

spanakopita: recipe inspired from these sources: mostly alosha's kitchen, my sister stacey, barefoot contessa's back to basic's cookbook, and vefa's kitchen.
(printable recipe)

1 medium onion, finely chopped
8 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 1/2 pounds frozen chopped spinach, thawed
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
splash of rice wine vinegar, optional
2 large eggs
8 ounces feta, crumbled
1 cup ricotta
4 tablespoons chives, finely chopped, divided
a handful of fresh finely chopped greek oregano, divided
1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 lb frozen phyllo sheets, thawed*

special equipment: clean damp towel and a basting brush

*the night before: take out box of phyllo dough and let defrost in the refrigerator.

In large saute pan, heat 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil over medium heat. Add onions and garlic and saute, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 4 minutes. Let cool and then transfer to large bowl.

Add the spinach, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, nutmeg, and the divided chives and oregano to the onion garlic mixture. In medium bowl, combine eggs, feta, rice wine vinegar and ricotta and beat well to blend. Pour the egg and cheese mixture into the bowl with the spinach and mix well.

In a separate small bowl, combine remaining chives and oregano and set aside. Melt butter in a small saucepan.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush one tablespoon olive oil and a dab of melted butter on the bottom of a 9-inch x 13-inch pan. Carefully unroll the phyllo. Make sure you have a damp towel ready to lay back down on top of the stack as you remove each sheet of phyllo. If you do not lay down a damp towel, the dough will easily become brittle and dry. Place one layer of phyllo on the bottom of the pan. Brush with butter and sprinkle with the chives and oregano. Repeat, using 10 sheets of phyllo total, brushing each layer of phyllo with the butter as you go. The chives and oregano should be added every other layer. After 10 sheets, pour the spinach cheese mixture into the pan, spreading it in an even layer across the dough. Continue placing the remaining 10 layers of phyllo on top of the filling, making sure to brush each layer with melted butter, keeping the remaining sheets damp, and seasoning with the chive-oregano mixture every other sheet. Make sure the top is buttered and add a dash of kosher salt and ground pepper to taste.

Bake for 35-45 minutes, until phyllo is golden brown and crisp. Cut into squares or triangles and serve hot.

*** If you noticed there are now printable recipes!!! It will take a while to get the every evil chef mom recipe converted but if you run into a problem or something doesn't print, please let me know at krysta[@]evilchefmom[.] com. I would greatly appreciate it.***