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Women Leaders Speak Out Survey

2012-02-15T09:30:00.001Z

We are delighted to announce the re-launch of Eve-olution's landmark survey Women Leaders Speak Out to see if there has been progress for women in the workplace and invite you to take part.

In 2003 and again in 2005 opinions were gathered from over 600 women in senior positions in the UK which provided a wake-up call to corporate Britain and helped to shape the thinking on how to retain and promote women. Those women had something to say; it was honest, in parts alarming, and it brought the conversation out of the closet.

You are invited to add your voice to the 2012 survey which is now focused on a European wide audience. Now you can help shape the future for women in Europe!

Women Leaders Speak Out 2012

Your answers will remain anonymous. The results will be sent to the respondants, presented to the press and will be analysed by Tracey Carr in her key note speech at the JUMP Forum on April 26 in Brussels.

As a special thank you for taking part in this survey, Tracey Carr, Founder of Eve-olution, is gifting a 90 minute live recording from an exclusive session which she ran for the EMEA women's network at Cisco called "Grab Your Future by the Horns", with tried and tested strategies for work/life balance and goal actualization plus live audience Q &A . You can download your own pod-cast here: www.tracey-carr.com.

For details of the JUMP Forum in Brussels, visit www.forumjump.eu.

For details of Eve-olution's body of research please visit their website www.eve-olution.net.

Fill our the survey now Women Leaders Speak Out 2012

Thank you !!

Should you change the core of your personality for your partner?

2012-01-22T15:52:00.000Z

Forgive me. I am going off-piste today. What I want to share with you is a thread from a social network and a chat between myself and a couple of my Mastermind buddies: Karl Whitfield and Mike Berry.

Since last weeks blog about heart energy for certainty and courage in challenging times, I have been inundated with requests for a Summer retreat to explore how to go from head to heart. It also spurned a few conversations about heart energy in relationships and the one below is so powerful in insight and learning that I wanted to share it with you.

Be warned. It is long! It is also deep and intimate but if this is an area that interests you then print it off and read, absorb and enjoy at your leisure.

The following is unedited and includes a beautiful piece of writing from my friend and buddy Karl

Karl Whitfield: Only if the changes fit with who you want to be.

Tracey Carr Great answer Karl Whitfield THANK YOU

You know, sometimes in our lives, we've been "us" for ages, and then you experience something or meet someone and you think "Hang on, I see me differently now, and I've been stagnating, and I need to evolve, it's time to change my game plan" and that event, person or experience (it may be a new partner, a new friend, a career change, an illness, who knows...) becomes the catalyst for your growth. In that context, change for the sake of your partner may be a lot more about you raising your own standards for yourself, as much as changing your personality because it plugs your partner in. Make sense?

Absolutely agree with you Karl Whitfield we change and grow through all experiences and that is my personal commitment to spiritual growth but what if the person is saying something about you that doesn't resonate but you can see their point of view. For instance many people might think that I am too dramatic and exaggerated and many don't like that but I 'decided' to like that part of me a long time ago and, in so doing, accepted that because it isn’t 'norm' some people may judge. Some will, some wont ..... so what ... But if the feedback is from somebody you care deeply about it's not so easy

I say you are who you are, and if you are happy with that, then change for no one. It's important to try to evaluate how others see you from THEIR viewpoint. Hitler probably thought he was a good guy, he probably thought he was following a righteous course, trying to eliminate weakness (as he saw it) and create a perfect race....but he clearly failed to evaluate his own beliefs and actions from an external point of view! (Forgive the rather extreme example!)

So many of us have character traits that don't meet with approval from everyone else in our lives (thank goodness...how boring if we were all the same and thought the same way and liked the same things...husbands and wives would be "one size fits all" and endlessly interchangeable! Vive le difference!!) and sometimes it is important to try to take yourself out of your own psyche for a while and see those traits in yourself from an external view, if you can. Then see how you feel about it. If you still like you the way you are, then you have integrity, so change for no one. But if your experience helps you see things differently, then you may want to change, and it will be easy, there will be no resistance.

None of us should change just to meet the 'expected behaviour' or 'desired image' that another projects onto us, but if others help us to see flaws in ourselves that we could improve, or if others help us to see ways we could grow and evolve and better ourselves, then there is no shame in saying "thanks for changing my view" and moving on, embracing change in the name of personal development.

Mike Berry: wow, brilliantly worded reply karl

We all have the ability to have different personas to suit different people and circumstances.

eg. I'm normally a very easy going, fun-loving guy, but when confronted by mr.angry last week, I turned into a powerful giant, with 18 years of martial arts black belt experience, and not to be messed with... fortunately he got the message without bloodshed or physical proof.

In your example here, It takes a 'big' person to say 'thank you for highlighting that', and then choosing to act on it (change) or not.

There is a nothing wrong with drama in the right circumstances, just as there's nothing wrong with slapstick at times.

... and I think you're spot on Karl re: perception - it's not necessarily "right or wrong", "truth or lies" - we all have our own filters, and tend to 'see' the world, people, words, language, circumstances and even intentions based on our own filters.

The sinking of the cruise ship off Italy is a great example... we can all 'look' at images and news items, and all have different reactions and thoughts... and that doesn't mean that we're right and everyone else is wrong if they have differing thoughts... it doesn't have to be 'black OR white'.

Fortunately Tracey, we all (well most of us, haha) love your drama most of the time. Especially when we know it comes from the higher frequency intention of love.

Karl Whitfield: Thanks Mike, yeah bang on, it's all filters. Someone once told me "we all think we are all right all the time" Think how nations go to war and religions can hold people to almost polar opposite views...yet all those people believe they are right. There is rarely a right or wrong, rarely a black or white, just perceptions.

1luvx that's my motto :-)

Lots of learning here for EVERYONE if they choose to read it. At the end of the day as long as two people can relate without the masks of the archetypes then it is OK for the archetype to be loved for what it is (drama, slapstick whatever) and the range is important too .i.e. to also embrace the warrior and sovereign too (love to have seen your warrior Mike lol ) but pure love is a heart energy and it is still and it has nothing to do with masks/perceptions or archetypes or even rules ...for instance FB has 'in' or 'out' of relationship and it has 'complicated' but true love is none of these things and it is beyond restraint, labels and controls. This is my spiritual lesson at the moment ...to learn that love just IS and cant be labelled or controlled and how friggin amazing and liberating and FREE Is that ? :-)

True love IS "all" to people like me, for whom love is number one, my ruling emotion. True love conquers all, suffers in silence, fights eternally, forgives in an instant, is never afraid, will never stop, will never give up. I wrote something the other day about love, about this issue of should someone change or not...let me find it and copy it here, you'll like it...hang on...

Karl Whitfield Here it is:

I ask nothing of you but love. I have no long list of conditions to be met, things that must be done, no list of changes I would make to you, no ‘laundry list’ of ways I’d like you to change, or things I’d like you to do. I don’t want or need a ‘little woman’ to cook my meals or wash my clothes or clean my house. I do not need a domestic helper, I want a best friend. I don’t need a cook, I want a soul mate. I don’t need someone to clean my bathroom, I want someone to awaken my mind, stimulate my senses and engage with my passions. Life isn’t about a big house or a fast car or a handful of possessions, life is about the people we share our time on this wonderful Earth with, life is about the connections we make, the love we share, the lives we touch and the people who touch us. Life isn’t about a widescreen TV and a BMW, it’s about who you remember fondly in the last hours of your fading life, it’s about who you cried over losing, and who cried over losing you, it’s about the hands you’ve held, the lives you touched, the souls you helped and the hope and smiles you gave.

I don’t need someone to help with the bills, I want someone to share the laughter with. I don’t need someone to do the shopping or carry the bags, I want someone to create memories with me, to share sunsets and beach walks, log fires and summer evening walks in meadows of wild flowers. I don’t need someone useful to help me, I want someone passionate to adore me. I don’t need someone rich to prop up my finances, I want someone interesting with an enquiring mind to enrich my knowledge and senses. I don’t need some trophy to brighten up my arm when I’m out in public, I want someone kind who will nurture my loving heart in private at the end of the day, when I feel weak and tired. I don’t need someone strong to always grin and bear it all, I want someone honest and loving, to connect with me and share the tears and tantrums of a life well lived. I don’t need someone flighty who will only be there in the good times, I want a friend who will always be by my side, who will hold my hand for better, and for worse. I don’t need someone to help me spend my money, I want someone who wants to help me spend my life.

I don't want to control you, I want to be so enraptured by your commanding beauty that I am forever putty in your hands. I don't want to enslave you, I want to empower you. I could think of nothing more incredible, no natural sight more beautiful, than a woman completely free, empowered in her femininity, alive with all that is vibrant, engaging, sensuous, loving and tender in a woman's character. I don't need or want a slave in a 'role' as my domestic servant. I don't need to know if my prospective wife is "any good at cooking", I don't care if you are "keen on cleaning"...screw that, I can clean my own toilet, I'm a good cook, I know how to iron a shirt and if I don't have time to do these things myself I will hire someone to help, so that we can spend our time together. I want a wife with a personality and a sense of adventure, someone to stimulate me, challenge my intellect and encourage me, help push me to my limits, to make the most of my life, to be the best man I can be. I want a life partner I can talk to, learn from, someone who will fly with me, test me, enrich and nourish my soul. I want to lose myself in your beauty, lose myself in your charms, be constantly amazed by your inspiring company and be constantly breathless at your beauty and passion. Life should not be about "who can I get, who can I own", it should be about "how can I share, how can I give, how can I help this person to be all she can truly be".

I don’t need someone to model me to be their ideal, I don’t need someone who wants to change me, mould me, beat me into submission. As I don’t want to model, change, mould or beat you. I don’t want to imprison you in my specific vision of who you should be, or how you should look, or what you should do or say, it will never be my intention to shape you to my idea or ideal, and the very notion of such behaviour utterly disgusts me. Quite the contrary, I want to set you free, I want to free you to be more of you, more of who you are, more of the real, authentic, natural you. I want to set you free. I want you to be alive, enriched, awake, not trapped under the monotonous social hypnosis of modern life. I don’t want to see your stunning feminine beauty trapped, confined to a living stereotype, all your amazing potential paralysed in trying to conform to endless over-used social norms. I adore you for your individuality, your unique style, your free spirited sense of difference. I simply want to adore you for being you.

I don’t want to control you, I want to connect with you. When I look into your face, I don’t think about wanting to touch your breasts, I want to touch your heart. I don’t want to own you, I want you to be your own woman. When I look at your irresistible smile, I don’t think about wanting to penetrate you between your thighs, I want to penetrate your soul. Of course I want your desire, I want your lust, I want your passion, your touch, all your sensual feminine charms, of course I want all of you, but when we make love I want our deepest connection to be in our hearts and minds. I want your tender touch, your eyes, your lips, I want my mind to experience my orgasm before my body, I want to get lost in you, and I want you to feel utterly adored, appreciated in every way, safe, loved, free in your experience. I want you to know my world revolves around you and right there, right then, nothing else matters, there is no outside world, it’s just us.

I want to look after you, help you grow, nurture you, protect you, free you from masculine responsibilities and allow you to blossom in your femininity. I want to be your rock, your pillar, your hero, your best friend, your soul mate and your lover. I will have eyes only for you, forever, and you will know, every day, that you are the centre of my world.

I don’t need a little girl, I want a woman. A magnificent woman, fully feminine and in her beauty, is the most amazing creation on Earth. What more could any man ask for?

I ask nothing else of you, but love.

Rich Waterman When I truly started living what Karl just wrote my whole life changed. Not just relationships. We need to run a seminar on this stuff. Not enough out there.

Kerry Searle Very in-depth insights, thanks for sharing

How to have success....beyond NLP

2012-01-16T11:24:00.003Z

Both Tommy and trees enjoying success without effort!

I have studied and applied NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) for over a decade. I have been teaching, coaching and supporting the principles of NLP for over two decades. Many of those success strategies fit with what I learned from Psychology and the thousands of personal development books I have read.

But …..

It has become clearer to me, in recent years, that we are running around applying success strategies and yet there appears to be something missing. Why is it that some people can apply what they learn and fly and others can apply the same strategies and remain stuck? Why is it that I have taught the same material to thousands of people and it only seems to work in a big way for around 5% of them?

I feel very strongly about this complex subject and the lack of awareness around the root cause of success/failure that I will write a book on it one day but in this short blog I want to try and get across the importance of energy. Not your gung-ho, peak state energy (although this is important too sometimes) but the energy from your heart. Some of you will stop reading at this point because you tell me that heart has nothing to do with work and the energy of empathy, compassion and understanding are for outside work and don’t help you deal with deadlines, politics, pressure, poor performance or stress. I have to disagree and here’s why:

NLP principles

Let’s take a look at some of the more familiar strategies

Mirroring and matching
Align and re-direct
Visioning
Values and beliefs alignment
Thought-word-action-habit-destiny

It is probably the latter that gets close to the concept of energy but imagine this: I have decided I want a promotion or a sale. Step one, I imagine and vision my goal, Step 2, I learn from the best regarding what I don’t yet know, step 3, I make sure that my values and beliefs are congruent, step 4, I get myself into a peak state and approach my client or boss ….and that’s where it can go wrong …at the level of relationship.

We all know how it feels to be sold to by a smooth operator without integrity. Here’s the thing …you might think you have integrity but the energy you project lacks integrity and that’s the message you will convey. Unless your energy is totally toward supporting the other person, rather than getting from the other person, you will most likely lose the sale, lose the promotion, lose the job and yes lose the husband too!

This energy affects every area of your life and, like I said, is too complex for a short blog but I just want to leave you with the idea that if you are not having all the success you want in love, money, career, health then change the energy to that which comes from the heart instead of that which comes from the head. The energy that comes from the heart is 40 to 60 times more power powerful than that which comes from the head

So much of NLP has been about re-programming the mind but forgets the most important part...to remind us to re-programme out hearts too.

If you want to understand more about how energy can transform your life. Watch this short TED video by Dr Sue Mortimer who will explain what happens to you on a cellar level when you shift to the energy of the heart.

Dr Sue Mortimer

I have had some requests to run a Summer retreat on this subject. It is ever more important in the uncertain times we live in that we find an inner centre of core strength. If this interests you please email tracey@eve-olution.net

The Secret to Living is Giving

2011-12-29T13:14:00.002Z

Xmas Hampers for 440 vulnerable families, personally delivered, December 23rd, 2011

Each year, for the past ten years, myself and my daughters have volunteered a day of our time on December 23rd to pack and deliver food hampers to people who are vulnerable at Xmas time.

Last year we missed out on that opportunity and so this year the girls insisted that we make time because otherwise 'it doesn't feel like Xmas' (their words)

This is how I know that the 'seceret to living is giving' ...because the gift of giving 'feels' better than getting ...even to privileged teenagers from Surrey two days before Xmas!

This year, the London Basket Brigade packed 440 Xmas food hampers by lunch time. I think it was the fastest ever time and we were in our car with 5 hampers to deliver in Central London by 1pm.

Our lasting memory from this year came from our last delivery. After climbing a few flights of stairs in a block of flats we were greeted by a single Mum and 5 small kids. We always deliver the hampers anonymously and simply say 'we are just delivering a gift from a friend' On this occasion we had lots of tiny eyes staring in disbelief and in the background all we could see were beds in the two or three rooms they had. As we handed over the hamper and said goodbye a small child said to her Mother 'Mummy we have lunch' ....at which point I looked at my children and we cried as we walked down the stairs.

The secret to living is giving.

Here are two of my daughters with a new friend from Basket Brigade

Happy New Year. Make it your best year ever!

Workplace bullying

2011-12-07T22:14:00.000Z

My previous blog on 'saying no' prompted a few emails asking for advice on what to do about workplace bullying. It seems that the increase in stress brought about by the never-ending credit crunch has brought about an increase in unreasonable behaviour as well.

Intimidating behaviour isn't always overt and the worst kind is often unspoken, passive aggressive and manipulative. If your intuition tells that you all is not well and you are experiencing an increase in stress for no obvious reason, then look a little closer.

Do trust yourself.Your feelings are there for a reason and are trying to tell you something. Don't retaliate by joining the perpetrator at the same level. Stay neutral, stay centred and stay sane. Remember that it isn't about you so try not to take it personally.

A phrase I like to remember in difficult times is 'this too shall pass'

Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute, suggests that the following are the most common 25 tactics used by workplace bullies

Falsely accuses someone of "errors" not actually made (71 percent).
Stares, glares, is non verbally intimidating and clearly shows hostility (68 percent).
Discounts the person's thoughts or feelings ("oh, that's silly") in meetings (64 percent).
Uses the "silent treatment" to "ice out" and separate from others (64 percent).
Exhibits presumably uncontrollable mood swings in front of the group (61 percent).
Makes up own rules on the fly that even she/he does not follow (61 percent).
Disregards satisfactory or exemplary quality of completed work despite evidence (discrediting) (58 percent).
Harshly and constantly criticises having a different standard for the target (57 percent).
Starts, or fails to stop, destructive rumours or gossip about the person (56 percent).
Encourages people to turn against the person being tormented (55 percent).
Singles out and isolates one person from coworkers, either socially or physically (54 percent).
Publicly displays gross, undignified, but not illegal, behaviour (53 percent).
Yells, screams, throws tantrums in front of others to humiliate a person (53 percent).
Steels credit for work done by others (47 percent).
Abuses the evaluation process by lying about the person's performance (46 percent).
Declares target "insubordinate" for failing to follow arbitrary commands (46 percent).
Uses confidential information about a person to humiliate privately or publicly (45 percent).
Retaliates against the person after a complaint is filed (45 percent).
Makes verbal put-downs/insults based on gender, race, accent, age or language, disability (44 percent).
Assigns undesirable work as punishment (44 percent).
Creates unrealistic demands (workload, deadlines, duties) for person singled out (44 percent).
Launches a baseless campaign to oust the person; effort not stopped by the employer (43 percent).
Encourages the person to quit or transfer rather than to face more mistreatment (43 percent).
Sabotages the person's contribution to a team goal and reward (41 percent).
Ensures failure of person's project by not performing required tasks, such as sign-offs, taking calls, working with collaborators (40 percent)

If you feel you are being undermined and would like support or advice please contact me on tracey@eve-olution.net

Saying No

2011-11-21T09:32:00.000Z

Most of the coaching I am doing at the moment is on time management and where women, especially, seem to struggle (sorry it is a generalisation but there is some truth in it) is in the area of saying no.

Here are some suggestions:

Prioritise

“I’m sorry. That’s not a priority for me right now.”

“I can’t help you on this now, but I can get to it next week. Would that be okay?”

“I have made so many commitments to others, it would be unfair to them and you if I took on anything more at this point.”

Prioritise with agreement

“Sure I can help you with your request as long as we both agree and understand that the item I agreed to do for you yesterday is going to have to wait.”

“I’m sure we’re close enough that when I say ‘no’ you’ll understand it’s for a good reason.”

Delegate

“I have so much on my plate now I don’t know when I can get to it. But I do know someone over here who can help you now.”

“Before I take this on for you, let me show you a few things so that you might be able to do it yourself.”

“If I can’t give you a ride to the school dance on Friday, how else would you get there safely?”

“Before I take this over from you, what do you think we ought to do about it?”

Planning

“I don’t know how soon I can help you on this, but I will get back to you as soon as I am free to help you.”

“Now that’s the type of thing I would love to help you on if only I had the time.”

Planning/resources – time expectation

“I would like to help you out on this but you understand I don’t have the resources available to do the right job for you.”

Decision

“No.”

And as you speak, smile!

Pushing your boundaries

2011-11-01T09:29:00.000Z

One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is surround ourselves with extra-ordinary human beings. Why? Because we become like the people we spend the most time with. People who are willing to challenge us cause us to grow and, my belief is, we are here to grow.
I just spent a week with an incredible friend at his beautiful home in Dubai and in that time I was reminded of what's possible. Reminded not to lower my standards because it is 'easier' Reminded to push myself physically, mentally and emotionally and reminded not to make excuses.

I decided to send you a true story about Peter Sage and the kind of incredible human being he is. I hope this story inspires you too. This is a direct copy of an email that I received from Peter. You will get the most out of it if you read it as if it were being sent to you and ask yourself ‘what would you do in this situation?’

‘I’ve had several phone calls today asking if we managed to pull off mission impossible yesterday and get Doris’s things back in time. They should be delivered today so she will be online and able to read any blog entries and messages of support you may wish to send. (http://dorismohsl.blogspot.com) It seems the deadly bacteria has gone so they are now talking about reconstructive surgery which is a far cry from having her lower leg amputated which was the case 3 days ago. As I said, our prayers are working so please keep them coming.
As for what happened yesterday, Doris has asked me to share it so as to prove that where there’s a will, there’s a way! You should have been there, trust me - you’d have laughed out loud.
OK so as you know Doris had left her suitcase with all her belongings and lap top etc in a locker somewhere in a train station in central Madrid. Having flown to Vienna to see her (and with the intention doing an intervention on Dr ‘not so positive’ ;-) I’m due and already booked to fly out of Vienna next day to visit my dad and two dogs in Spain and by the wonders of synchronicity my only connection happens to be through Madrid. Good start. However, I land at 4pm, the FedEx cutoff is 5pm and I reboard at 5.15pm. Hmm, an hour and 15 to land, travel to a train station in the middle of Madrid, pick up the case, find the FedEx cargo depot, ship it off to Doris, back to catch my flight and land in Alicante in time for Tapas and Wine with the family. Cool, sounds like a plan! Well, at least so I thought.

Have you ever heard the saying ‘if you want to make God laugh then tell her your plans?’ well apparently today She was watching the Comedy channel. Firstly my flight out of Vienna was delayed by twenty minutes taking my window down to 55 mins. Still doable, just more exciting
So I land at Madrid and literally sprint out of the gate from what must have been the furthest part of the airport from the street. I ran outside panting away and jumped in the first available taxi only to find out the answer to a question I have always wondered about - What ever did happened to Manwell out of Faulty Towers after his film career ended? Well now I knew – he became a taxi driver! Or at least this was his closest living relative. He spoke zero English and while my German was good in Vienna, my Spanish was limited to ‘another beer please’ and ‘excuse me, where is the bathroom?’ none of which seemed appropriate at this point in time. However, having just led the Japanese team at DWD I knew first hand that words were just 7% of communication. My strategy quickly became sign language and tonality. I thrust the locker ticket at him with the name of the train station on it and with a big cheesy grin said ‘train station rapido!’ I got a blank look that said ‘Que?’ I half expected the next line to be ‘But Meesta Fawlty, I from Barceloona!’
Err, ‘Train-o Station-o quickly-o?’ OK this was not working; I may as well have been speaking Japanese at this point. Oh what the hell, ‘Whoo Whoo! Chuff Chuff!’, I made the appropriate arm movements and thought that he’d be convinced he’d picked up an escaped lunatic but to my relief he looked at the ticket again and shouted ‘Ah! Estación de tren! It sounded good, I nodded and we were off. Forty minutes to go and FedEx cutoff in 25. Luckily his second career was a race car driver and we arrive at the train station in Madrid just 12 minutes later. Either that or he was just really keen to get rid of me. I jump out of the cab and ask him to wait – ‘Que?’ I started running backwards towards the station pointing at him to stay and flashing five fingers while pointing at my watch. Now he was sure I was crazy. Oh well, mad dogs and Englishmen.

I run into the station and look for the left baggage section. A minute of sprinting later I find it, jump the barrier, find the isle and punch in the code. I may just make this after all. 54 Euros came the display followed by… COINS ONLY. You gotta be kidding. I look in my wallet to find I’m fresh out of a giant bag of coins and ask the security guard for help. He cheerfully tells me there is a change machine at the entrance. Great! And then he smiles and tells me it’s out of order. Apparently it’s Spanish sense of humor. He tells me I need a bank and thinks there may be one in the station. Clocks ticking, I run back in the station to find a bank at, yep you guessed it, the furthest end away from the locker. I get there to find at least a 15 minute line up of people. No time to wait, I run to the front turn around and address the entire line with total certainty speaking English with a Spanish accent, big cheesy grin in full action. Nobody argues or even probably understands as I stride up to the counter, hand over a 100 Euro note and ask for 55 one euro coins. 2 minutes later I’m running back to the locker and start feeding in coins. 15 minutes to FedEx cut off and ticking. After 50 coins God starts giggling again and the machine shuts down. Aw come onnnn! The security guard who was watching comes over and informs me he has to radio the maintenance man to come with the master key. At this point I’m convinced I’m staying the night in Madrid. Three minutes later the guy arrives and after paying him the extra 4 euros he unlocks the door. Finally! I grab the case and run back to find Manwell. I jump in the cab, smile and say ‘airport, cargo!’ Nothing. ‘Areo porto!! Rapido!!’ he asks ‘Donde Terminal?’ I reply ‘Cargo Terminal, FedEx!’ Nope, not understanding that. I say slowly ‘Federral Expresss?’

‘Que?’

Surely I don’t have to do my dam busters impression here, that would be just wrong. I point at the case and make a flying gesture – he looks puzzled and then a big smile comes as he says ‘Ah Consignmento!’ Yes! That must be it, its sounds kind of cargo-ish I cheer and give him a thumbs up – he cheers and we’re off! I think he’s getting into this whole race thing. 12 minutes to cut off. We speed into the airport and at exactly 5 o’clock pull up at a sign that says ‘consignment’ which turns out to be left luggage. He looks really pleased and tries to match my former cheesy grin, until he sees the look on my face. ‘No mate! This not it! Cargo, cargo’ – I saw a sign back there and simply point straight and say GO! Now he must think I’m on day release. He follows the sign and at eight minutes past five we pull up at the cargo terminal FedEx depot. I jump out and point at my watch, and now HE gives me the 5 fingers and smiles. Who needs language?

OK so we’re nearly 10 minutes past the cutoff time, I need an influencing strategy. Hmm, massive rapport, hapless tourist, enrolment or puppy dog eyes…? I run into the office with the case as most of the staff are leaving and find one stern macho looking guy behind the counter. I guess puppy dog is out. Luckily he speaks English so I go for rapport and enrolment and within a minute he feels he is the key to making this whole amazing race work. He buys it and goes to find a supervisor to OK the deal! He comes back with an airway bill and tells me they’ll do it this once if I have a FedEx account number. Yes I do. I fill in the paperwork aware that my flight is now boarding two terminals away. Paperwork done I shake hands and run back to Manwell who was waiting with a big smile. ‘Terminal 2 Rapido!’ I shout ‘No Problemo!’ he shouts back. Damn we’re getting good, and he races out of the cargo terminal Schumacher style. I think he’s really starting to enjoy this. Five minutes later we pull up at departures and before I know it I’ve said ‘arigato gozhiamas!’ (thank you in Japanese) he looks puzzled until he see’s the tip, then we shake hands, exchange thumbs up and I race inside. I dash through the terminal and start taking off my belt to get ready for security unaware at the time that I must have looked like a potential streaker but hey, time was everything here. I jumped the line with cheesy grin and certainty in tow (no time for fine tuning here) and I’m convinced some were the same people from the bank. I sprint to my gate to just make final call while holding up my pants with one hand and my carry on in the other, dripping with sweat. All in all it had been a wild hour and a half but with all outcomes accomplished I sat back on the plane and smiled. It was going to be a BIG glass of wine when I landed, not to mention a toast or two to my awesome cabby.

To Doris - Sweetheart, all I can say is thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this, I haven’t had this much fun since the last Trainer stretch where they fed us to the sharks in Kona and the important thing is that you can have certainty about getting your things tomorrow. I also know you’d do it for me in a heartbeat so please just relax and allow us to love you. You’re body is amazing, it knows exactly and precisely what to do and is healing fast. All you need to do now is relax and feel the love that is coming from all over the world to you in this moment. I love you sis, keep smiling and I’ll see you soon.’

This is Peter's current project http://spaceenergy.com/s/Directors.htm

Should I meditate or vacuum the carpets?

2011-10-03T10:36:00.000+01:00

I have had a crazy Summer with three teenagers/youmg adults starting new schools, University, new job and was reminded of an article I wrote a couple of years ago. I have copied it below for your amusement.

Should I meditate or vaccum the carpets?

I have been an evangelist for personal development for three decades. Yep, for thirty years I have read virtually nothing but self help, personal development, psychology and spiritual development. I have spent over £100,000 on going to seminars all over the world – Europe, USA and even the Gold Coast. I have studied under every Guru under the sun, who seemed worth listening to, and even spent some time at a spiritual retreat and experienced shaktipat.

If the definition of an expert is that they have 10,000 hours experience under their belts then I must qualify. Thirty years of training in the area of human potential and, in the last ten years, 10,000 people have trusted me to share some of that knowledge through my seminars, web casts, products, newsletters and blogs.

Impressed? Whether you are or you aren’t there is another side to this story and it doesn’t sound as pretty or impressive or exciting. And on some level, despite what I know, I am still really confused.

Running in parallel to my ‘WOW’ career I have also been a single Mother of three daughters who are now aged twenty, eighteen and fifteen. Nothing is more important to me than my girl’s happiness. And, I also think this is where I, and thousands of women that I’ve spoken to, come adrift. This is where confusion, guilt and doubt creep in. Nowhere in the world of personal development have I seen this issue addressed properly.

What do I mean by this? Well, in the world of success psychology, there is an agreed formula. How you define success is unique to you but the supposed process to fulfilment is not unique it is a formula that goes something like this:

Every day I commit to

• Meditate for at least 20 minutes

• Exercise for 45 minutes

• Eat 80% health giving food

• Drink two litres of water

• Take daily green drinks and vitamins

• Visualise, re-bound, breathe

• Connect daily with Mastermind, Coach or Mentor

• Connect with nature

• Read and learn for 20 minutes minimum

• Set, yearly, monthly, weekly goals and just do it!

• Ensure that all of the above serves my mission and values

Does this formula work? No doubt about it. If you follow this plan and deal with your fears, you cannot fail. You can literally have anything you want, the life of your dreams, all the money and success that you want, the relationship that your heart desires, health, happiness and connection to something beyond yourself. The examples of this working are everywhere. Go to a book store and see how many people there are who want to share their story of success with you. See how many people there are who made millions with this method – particularly the visualisation, meditation, dream book, vision book part. And I know that it works for me too. I have lived it all and applied it all and have the stories to tell that prove it.

BUT, not many people will tell you what I am about to tell you next. I have never, in fact, seen or heard anybody in the world of personal development talking about this because most don’t really get it. Some of them are men and (sorry guys) your Biology just doesn’t work the same way as ours. Some are single women; some are women without children and some with children and a supportive husband. But where is the Guru that says you can ‘have all the rewards and success you want and bring up three teenagers at the same time – on your own.’

I can honestly say that there have been too many desperate days when I have wept with frustration. Younger children can be looked after by somebody else as their needs are relatively simple. But your teenagers need YOU and you cannot say ‘sorry darling, I really haven’t got time for piano lessons, College research and enrolment, University research and enrolment and then the moving in and out of student accommodation. I don’t have time for GCSE’s and A levels or to help you write a CV and look for a job. I don’t have time to help you pass your driving test and then research a car and the insurance and then go look for a car. There isn’t time for coaching and help with relationships and finances and I really really don’t have time for the weekly emotional (hormonal) car crash because I need to maintain a peak state darling and go meditate.’

And multiply all of the above unspoken, unpaid work of the heart by three but don’t let it interfere with your formula Tracey or your day job, whoever you are and wherever you are out there reading this. I feel tears of empathy for you.

This week I read about a man (single parent) who gets up at 6 am to vacuum the carpets before he takes his daughter to school and it made me wonder if the key is to keep it simple. But then, I know too much to go back and so I hope that tomorrow is calm enough that I can get up at 6am and meditate in the silent day break and that will make all the difference to my day and anything that it throws at me that isn’t in the formula.

Personal power

2011-08-18T09:10:00.002+01:00

It has been a long, hot and busy Summer over here. Summer holidays are always a challenge for working parents and now that mine are older (and left school) I have to tell you it gets worse! This Summer I have organised a new school for my youngest to do A levels, helped my middle daughter with her Uni application and helped the oldest through redundancy! Phew

I have also been integrating my business into a larger, international people performance consultancy http://www.transformpeople.com/ and have been reminding myself of the male perspective on gender differences. Here is one of my lessons: One day I was talking to our Chairman, Ronnie Stronge, about male/female differences in networking and that women are generally excluded from business networking because it happens on the golf course. He asked me how 'we' network and I said 'well, we meet for coffee or lunch and chat' To which he replied 'woud I be welcome there?' hmmm...something to think about there.

I know I am making massive generalisations but try to see beyond that to the real point ....Gender IQ requires learning and flexing on both sides and we all need to manage to gender differences to get the most out of our talent. It is a key management competency not a 'nice to have' and there are many men who have had to learn how to talk 'football' including Antony Jenkins, CEO Barclaycard.

My biggest lesson in integration has been how to retain my personal power in a predominantly male team where there is a way of doing things that is different to mine. I underestimated my own personal need to conform, to belong, to be part of the team. How do we do this without losing our personal power?

Almost all of the coaching I am doing at the moment is on personal power and we know that it is possible to lose it through work, relationships, kids but the key is to know how we begin to lose it and interrupt the pattern. A gifted coach will be able to work with you where you are at and identify your pattern and work with you from that place.

For instance, which of the following resonates with you ?

You are mostly in your head, telling yourself stories about why something cant be done
You have a sick feeling in your stomach and a feeling that the fear is related to a past event
You don't feel able to set clear boundaries
You feel confused and conflicted about what you are being asked to do

If any of these speak to you, get yourself an intuitive coach, somebody who can read what's not being said.

Personal power is critical to every area of your life. It is the life force that runs through your veins. Make a commitment today, to begin or continue the life long work of nurturing your own personal power

With passion!
Tracey

Do it like a woman

2011-07-06T13:49:00.001+01:00

You have probably heard people saying that if Lehman Brothers had been Lehman Sisters .....well, you know the rest.

Here is a woman who says it might be true and is doing it herself to prove the point. Renee Haugerud runs a billion dollar hedge fund that she started from scratch. Watch the video to find out how she overcame being excluded from the boys club and now teaches how to 'trade like a woman'
http://tinyurl.com/6dporjv

Whilst we are talking about 'doing it like a woman' I am so proud of my eldest daughter for doing something similar in teaching a large Telecoms company how to move beyond unconscious bias. A year ago she went for her first interview and was told that she wouldn't fit in because the sales guys were big and macho and they didn't have any other girls. They didn't think she would make it.

She responded like this... 'with respect, I wouldn't sell like a guy but I do believe that I could sell and I would do it in a different way' For having the courage to say this they gave her a 'chance' on a salary just above minimum wage.

My petite, feminine, gentle daughter who was the youngest in the team last year (19) and still the only white female in the entire business (selling business to business telecoms solutions) has just been given top sales award in the company.

You GO Jess! We're proud

Anne Minto OBE

2011-06-15T10:02:00.001+01:00

Recently, I was honoured and excited to be invited to the internal launch of Centrica’s women’s network. Honoured because I was the only external person invited and excited because I wanted to hear Anne Minto, Group Director of Human Resources, speak.

I am always surprised by my own perceptions of successful people. I am sure we are similar and I bet your inner dialogue is like mine and goes something like this ‘they must be different to me, more intelligent, more serious, more committed’ and then, of course, when we listen we discover that that they are just like us and the inspiration is in that lesson. Perhaps, the only difference I have heard and seen 100’s of times is that they are willing to work hard and learn from, not shrink back from mistakes.

Anne has been Group Director of Human Resources at Centrica since 2002 and before that she worked as Director of Human Resources of Smiths Group. After qualifying as a lawyer, she worked for over 13 years with Shell including a two year secondment as Director of Aberdeen Enterprise and was the first woman in Shell to be ‘allowed’ to stay on an off-shore platform in 1980. She was awarded an OBE for services to the engineering industry in 2000.

Anne’s talk was inspiring for many reasons, not least of which was her generous willingness to share some of the lessons she had learned as a woman at the commercial edge of business in a male dominated industry. Anne’s career spanned the struggle for equal pay legislation and, perhaps subsequently, was one of the first GHRD’s in a FTSE 100 to introduce equal pay audits at Centrica.

The more interesting lessons, for me, come when a person is willing to share on a personal level. I don’t say this lightly as I understand how difficult it can be to share honestly and from the heart in business. Anne’s advice to women at Centrica was rooted around a belief that ‘quota’s will come’ unless we see some dramatic improvements in the number of women on boards and the need to get more women into general management leadership roles which would give greater opportunities for women to become CEOs of a company. She advised not to ‘forget who you are as a person’ and to ‘keep your femininity and use it to your advantage’ She also said be realistic about what you can do – no one can be super woman – make sure you have the support you need around you at home to be able to fulfill the demands of both family and job otherwise you are simply exhausted all of the time.

My own belief is that unless more of us can start having these kinds of honest discussions….yes.. ‘quota’s will come’

Mindset and Manifesting tools: Number 4

2011-06-04T11:31:00.000+01:00

I hope you have been enjoying this glorious weather that we have been having. How have you built flexibility into your daily routine so that you can take full advantage of the long Summer evenings?

Last night at sunset and after dinner, work, washing, cooking I decided to go for a run on our beautiful North Downs at a special place close to heart where I get to breathe deeply, stretch my arms up to the sun or the moon and grin from ear to ear. How wonderful to be able to do this at 10pm at night.

Last night was even more special than usual as my 16 year old daughter came with me and while I ran she sat on a blanket with the dog and her Maths GCSE revision. At the end of my run we all sat on the blanket watching to sun go down listening to Chopin with a shared i-pod. We were alone in a vast area of open space and it was an experience that is what I call 'soul food'

And ...it got even better ...as it got dark we walked back to the car and in the car park was a wedding party with bottles of champagne, highland kilts, a full wedding gown and lots of high heels. They were laughing and being merry whilst letting off beautiful Chinese Lanterns into the night sky.

Mindset and manifesting tool number 4 is ..have a flexible approach to all of life

How have you built flexibility into your schedule so that you feel fully alive?

Dealing with trauma

2011-05-15T13:26:00.000+01:00

This is a bit off-side from my normal blogs and ramblings about effectiveness and manifesting results. The reason that I have gone off piste today is because so much of what I am teaching and coaching at the moment is helping people come to terms with past trauma.

It seems to me that this is a time of great change and it is bringing up all sorts of 'stuff' from the past and even forcing us to deal with untruth in the present. If you can relate to what I am saying then please do watch this short video which is a strategy for dealing with past trauma. And if you know somebody who is suffering please share this with them.

Post script ...I have had an amazing weekend meeting the wonderful Dr Karambu I am very excited about her work in Nairobi and I want to help her. You can help her too and together we can do more than we can do alone. You can read about her here

If you are interested in forming a group of women leaders supporting women and children in Africa please email me tracey@eve-olution.net

We're sorry

2011-05-08T23:33:00.000+01:00

We're sorry. It seems we had some technical issues last week. Thanks to all those emailed to let us know...without your email alerts we might never have known!

If you clicked on the link for the free report on Authentic Leadership (the competencies women need to succeed) you will have got an error message.

If you still want the report please email info@eve-olution.net and just write 'free report' in the subject line and we'll wing it right back to you.

The report is based on data collected over 10 years from women who are at the top of their game professionally. We measured their skills on a special leadership competency tool and then collated the results. It is all now documented in a professional 10 page report that's free to you and all you need to do is say 'yes please'

info@eve-olution.net

Have a fabby week!

Mindset and manifesting tools. Number 3

2011-05-05T17:24:00.000+01:00

Most of us feel like this some of the time, if not most of the time with the dual demands of an ever increasing work load and more home responsibilities such as young children, teenagers or ageing parents.

In fact women still spend three times longer doing house work than their partners and then you can add childcare on top and your own grooming needs.

I often wonder about small things ...such as ...how different my life would be if I didn't have to worry about my nails, make-up and blow drying my hair. Yep, I could just tell myself that it doesn't matter and not bother but that's not what M&M tool number 3 is all about. It's not about keeping your head down and just getting the job done because that wont get you the promotion and it wont get you noticed.

And guess what happens if you aren't noticed? You stay where you are and you stagnate. Worse people think you are un-ambitious.

This Forbes article suggests that It's women's fault that women don't get promoted more or paid equally. I don't go so far as to say that it is our fault but I will say that we don't know what we don't know. Gender IQ is about being savvy about gender differences that impact your career. For instance do you know that the reason men get promoted more often, generally, is because they work hard at establishing a relationship with the boss more often than we do? In fact you may very well notice the carpet tiles being worn out at appraisal time by your male colleagues!

Tool number 3 then is - work hard on your visibility. What does that mean? It means work to create your personal brand by caring about your appearance and telling everybody how great you are. (is it a coincidence that most of our C suite women are American?) Blow your own horn!

When I tell women these things they often look horrified. But, it is part of your responsibility to know what works. Whether it’s fair or not is irrelevant.

Something else that women tell me is that they are called aggressive if they 'ask' more often and this can be tricky. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

If you want to know how to navigate some of these issues and work towards creating or enhancing your personal brand I suggest you learn from the best (a core NLP skill) or at the very least, find somebody who has already achieved the things you want to achieve and ask them to coach or mentor you.

If you want to kick-start this process you can use our benchmarking services. For the past ten years we have been doing extensive research on your behalf and have collated validated data taken from 100's of corporate executive women. The result is a fantastic tool that allows you to measure yourself against a set of competencies that have worked for many women who have already done what you want to do.

Have you ever wondered what competencies senior corporate women have and how your compare? If you would like a copy of our FREE 10 page report you can fill out this form Free report and we will make sure you get one by return. Alternatively, if you would like more details on the tool for your personal use please email me tracey@eve-olution.net

'Men are allowed to have passion and commitment for their work ... a woman is allowed that feeling for a man, but not her work' Barbara Streisand

What do you think?

Mindset and Manifesting tools. Number 2

2011-04-17T21:30:00.001+01:00

I hope you had a wonderful weekend in the sunshine and are raring to go this week. If not, what's stopping you? Where are you stuck? Do you know what you want from life and how to get it?

Life can sometimes require that we reflect and maybe this is a reflective or quiet time for too. If so, save these M&M (Mindset and Manifesting) tools for later and be gentle with yourself.

On the other hand if you are raring to go and have fully embraced the concept of CANI from tool number 1 then you will know already that fear can hold us back. That little four letter word is all pervasive and I see it everywhere in behaviour that isn't fully present and in the moment. How often do you witness a person fully embracing life? I guarantee it is a rare sight to see somebody fully in the flow and doing whatever life presents without filtering.

What happens when we filter? We make up stories about why we shouldn't do something or we justify why something wont work. We intellectualise so that we can be 'right' or we follow logic only, and rarely trust intuition. In other words we block off the power that is flow.

The second manifesting tool then is .....learn how to deal with fear.

A while ago I said I had done a radio interview on fear and I now have that hour long, content rich radio interview. Below is a link to a file that you can download as an MP3 ...listen on your i pod as many times as you can until you fully grasp the concepts and then ....go and practise! Knowledge is no good without action.

Enjoy!

Radio interview on FEAR

Mindset and manifesting tools. Number 1

2011-03-29T22:21:00.000+01:00

In my last blog post I said I was going to start a new coaching series to share with you how to use the tools of success. I am not talking about skills such as finance or management, though these are important too. No, I am talking about the tools that give you persistence and faith because without persistence and faith you can have all the skills in the world but they wont get you very far.

Think about what I just said for a minute. All of us enter our careers with a certain set of skills. We either enter a graduate career or we forge our entrepreneurial skills early in life. Lets focus on the corporate world as this is where most of you are. So you have climbed the greasy pole fairly swiftly and you are now in your early 30's. You are what they call a high flyer, a fast track employee, a high potential. You left University with good grades and the graduate programme taught you enough skills to move forward. Over the next few years you took every stretch opportunity you could find and maybe you even re-located to show flexibility. Now comes the hard bit.....you got to a fairly senior level with your intelligence and your skills but guess what ...to go further you need to re-learn your swing!

Tiger Woods: after winning numerous championships, broke down everything he was doing and totally reinvented and re-learned his golf swing. Why? He thought it could be improved....AFTER he was already arguably the greatest golfer in the world!

And this is the first Mindest and Manifesting tool ....a commitment to CANI or constant and never ending improvement. All successful people that I have ever known are voracious readers of books, they spend thousands on their own personal development and find coaches and mentors that can consistently take them to higher levels of achievement. Why? Because learning and growing is exciting and, more importantly, because the skills that got you to where you are today wont take you any further. It is who you are that matters not what you know.

Continuing to grow after you have become successful requires humility. It requires that you stay open to learning and that you can ask for help from people who know more than you.

Tiger Woods understands, like all top tier athletes, that coaching not only accelerates his successful performance but also helps him meet and exceed his professional targets. His coaches include one for his swing, another one for fitness, and he says that he relies on his caddy’s coaching for guidance on the course. More and more business and organizational leaders are beginning to follow his lead.

Tiger Woods now probably also understands that what we do in our private lives will impact our success too. More about that next week!

When was the last time that you asked for a mentor or a coach? When was the last time you sought out the advice of somebody who has already done the thing you want to do next in your career or personal life?

Remember this ...who you are speaks so loudly I cant hear what you're saying.

Until the next time ...live with passion!
Tracey

When life throws a curve ball

2011-03-15T16:06:00.006Z

Photographs from our recent F Word event

It feels like it has been a long time since I updated you and that's because so much has changed and so much has been happening. All very exciting stuff and I haven't been this energised for many years about life and work. I have taken a breath today and am working in my garden which always inspires me. I can hear bird song all around and this is the first time in many months that I have been able to sit outside and work. I can't be inspired and not write so here goes ....my thoughts today are about difficult times and how to navigate them. What to do and what to focus on. I did a radio interview on this recently and will send the link when I get it but for now here are my written ramblings.

I always ask this question in my seminars and coaching ...'what will you do when you hit the wall?' Not if you hit the wall but when, because, lets not kid ourselves, it will happen to us all at some stage or another.
It has happened to me a few times in life, both professionally and personally and last year was a great opportunity for me to learn how to walk my talk once again.

Through circumstances beyond my control my business life presented one challenge after another consistently and relentlessly. During 2009 and 2010 I had a quick and steep learning curve about technology in order to bring my web project to life but in the process I went through 3 software suppliers, ended up in litigation with one of them, had a plethora of issues with funding and ultimately sold my house to complete the project.
During this time I had two choices:

1. Give up and do 'poor me'

2. Walk my talk and find a way over the wall, under the wall or round the wall

I chose the latter.

What I am about to share is my personal philosophy about life. It's not for everyone but I have had the opportunity to prove, over and over again that, if we go beyond our fears there are bigger and better things ahead. In other words, all of our dreams are at the other side of our fears.

So, life has thrown you a curve ball. Here's what happens ...you panic. You start operating from the reptilian part of your brain and you stop operating according to your higher self (wisdom) How often have you seen this happen to people during the recession? Crisis management, command and control, lack of vision, no listening and no long term planning. In other words ...no leadership, either personally or professionally.

And most people get stuck there.

I nearly got stuck there myself in 2010 but I reminded myself over and over this was an opportunity to prove that if you use the principles that I teach there is an ending that is beyond your wildest dreams and the bottom line is faith. In other words the basis of persistence is the power of will. Most people (under extreme pressure) will throw their dreams out of the window but faith and persistence create a higher vibration. Some people call this prayer and others call it magic and others call it iron will. Call it what you will but don’t underestimate the power of your steadfast intention.

There is too much to tell here for one blog so I am going to start a new coaching series. I am going to tell you exactly how to practice the persistence and faith necessary to overcome any obstacle.

I feel qualified (once again ;-) to teach you this as I have just gone from ground zero to the manifestation of an ideal working environment that is perfect for my needs. I am working with a group of amazingly talented individuals who have the same values as mine and are committed to helping people and organisations. I have found the infrastructure (International) to support my baby web project so that she can grow into the powerful force that she needs to be ...oh and ...there is a new ideal man in my life too.

Was it worth selling my house for and handling all the cr**p for? Yep, the rewards are potentially far greater than leaving a chunk of money stuck in a dormant housing market..and if I hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be sitting where I am now, which is in the perfect place to create my future. Did I doubt an outstanding outcome from my troubles in 2010? Nope, not for one minute …even though at times I questioned myself, I consistently used the tools that I teach and believe in.

I can’t quite spill the beans about how I am working or who I am working with but I will in the next installment...watch this space.
…so exciting!

I can tell you this though ....I couldn’t have thought up this solution. I 'heard' it by being present enough to know what was right in front of me. Stress can block us for our higher power and we miss all the routes to freedom that appear on our path.

Hence the F Word….and the MOJO revolution!

Finally, for those of you who missed the F Word, we will be publishing another date in the near future. Here is a picture of my 15 year old daughter and me after she did her board break.

Until the next time ...live with passion!

What is fear?

2011-02-08T20:55:00.000Z

Isn't this a beautiful room? It is right in the centre of Kensington, 5 minutes from Kensington High Street tube and I am so excited because this is where we are holding the next F Word event - F stands for fear and we intend to kick fear's butt! Yep, we're fed up with doom and gloom so we're creating a MOJO revolution!

So today's blog is about fear. Obviously fear has been on my mind with this event coming up and so I wanted to share some thoughts on what fear is and how it manifests.

Firstly, before you begin any great plan ..be that a promotion or starting your own business, you must be prepared to receive it. That doesn't sound too hard does it? However, you have to overcome the triple forces of indecision, doubt and fear before you are ready to receive or you will self sabotage. These are unconscious motives but don't underestimate the power that they can have over you if you don't take control.

Indecision is where it begins. Where there is indecision or procrastination there often follows doubt. Once indecision and doubt take hold they produce fear. This process can take a long time which is why they are so dangerous...you hardly know its happening.

Consider this. You know that you need to leave your job because it is a toxic environment. But you say to yourself 'oh, it's not too bad, my boss only bawls me out on 3 days out of 5 and I am pretty well paid' (justification based on indecision.) This process of self doubt or not trusting your gut leads to doubt about your abilities 'maybe s/he is right, maybe I am useless and wouldn't get another job anyway'

Soon you have turned indecision and doubt into such a self induced fear that you become paralysed. Maybe if you had walked out at the beginning instead of procrastinating it might not have become this bad but now we are stuck with fear and we must know how to deal with it or stay in toxic relationships of all kinds for ever!

I feel passionate about this because I see hundreds of people suffering from a lack of self belief and I know that you can deal with it because I have dealt with it many times in my own life. It's not easy but it can be done and unless it is 'done' we stay in the downward spiral instead of standing straight back up and moving on to something better.

There are six basic fears

Fear of poverty
Fear of criticism
Fear of illness
Fear of the loss of love
Fear of old age
Fear of death

And guess what ....thoughts become things. If you are constantly thinking about losing your love ...what do you think is going to happen? Yep, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy and they will get right up and leave. If you are constantly thinking about being poor then you can never be rich because the two roads lead in opposite directions. Ask yourself, honestly, which of the above are you scared of?

If you answered 'none' then great.

But, if you answered yes to any of these please join us on February 18th. We have been generously blessed with the room above that holds 50 people and so I am able to extend an offer for you to join us at the silly price of £150

Is £150 too much money for you to invest to learn about manging that old devil called fear? Email me if you want to pay in two parts or you want a formal flyer to get it signed off at work tracey@eve-olution.net

You can find more information here http://www.tracey-carr.co.uk/TheFWord/index2

With passion, Tracey
p.s. we have a great group of people coming ...women and men of all ages and we are planning on having a lot of fun.
p.p.s we are also looking for a media partner for our MOJO campaign ...get in early for the exciting competitions we are planning
p.p.p.s teenagers can come for FREE

2011-01-18T10:59:00.000Z

So here we are ...three weeks into 2011 and the new decade and I haven't caught my breath.

There has been more demand from you this year and that is a very GOOD THING. The world is faster and more competitive and so we need to be personally responsible for our own success. There is no such thing as a safe job any more and no such thing as a safe harbour. In other words ...the days of coasting are gone.

I have had lots of questions re my new Elite coaching programme so here is some feedback.

I am running two parallel programmes this year. One for business owners and kitchen table entrepreneurs, and the other for corporate women.

I have separated them this year because I really want to get specific on things that are important to you.

For instance, have you thought about how you package yourself, and your offerings if you own your own business? How you package and present yourself and your products will determine the fees you can charge.

If you're working in the corporate world, have you thought about your branding? Is the feminine unconsciously perceived negatively in your organisation and, if so, what are you doing about your personal brand? By not doing anything you re also choosing your brand. Think about that.

Have you decided how much money you want to make this year? How are you going to get there? It isn't voo doo or magic and it isn't rocket science...there are formulas. I know because I have built a multiple six figure business, scaled it back to being a life-style business when my family needed me and now I am about to launch again - bigger and bolder. This elastic band needs the stretch! I will follow the same formula that worked before and has worked for thousands of others.

This picture is on my dream board. I took the picture on our last holiday to Corfu. My dream is to have a house on a hill in Corfu. What's your dream and how are you making that happen?

Successful people always invest in a life time of learning. How can you get anywhere without a map and better to buy the map from somebody who knows the territory.

The good news is I am not telling you to change who you are or what you do. When I work with clients one-to-one on leveraging their skills, it's typically finding these points of LEVERAGE that can be capitalized on, and often it's just an issue of repackaging what you offer and how you offer it. (and yes that means in a corporate career too)

I am super excited this year as I am launching a new business myself and it will either succeed or fail because that's the name of the game. But the reason I'm excited is because I have had to go right back to basics in developing the plan, creating the vision, holding myself accountable and knocking on every door until my arm drops off.

I would love to take you through this process with me whilst it is fresh in my mind. Begin with the end in mind ....what does your future look like and how are you going to get there? Can I help?

For more details of my Elite one-to-one coaching programme please email tracey@eve-olution.net and I will be happy to share how I am going to take you through a step-by-step format designed to help you make FAST CHANGES in your business or career

And if that's not for you we have a special one day event packed full of fun and new discoveries designed to help us all get back our MOJO ...I was thinking about it on my run last week

Thoughts from my run (excuse the wild hair)

You can book here Yes please ...getting back my MOJO

Love and success,

Tracey

PS -- Did you see the BONUS PACK? There is a two tickets for the price of one offer if you book before midnight on January 31st

Parenting teenagers

2011-01-04T12:30:00.000Z

As we race into the new year, one of the things that strikes me is this ....if your children are unhappy or your family life is dysfunctional you will not reach your potential this year or even your goals.

One of the hardest times for parents is the turbulent teenage years. It is critical that you are aligned as a family, in other words, if you teenagers are causing the family to have a metaphorical car crash once a week - how can you concentrate on your future dreams and aspirations? Survival then becomes the order of the day and excitement and happiness can be lost for many years without constant effort on your part (yep, sorry it is all down to you)

For all of these reasons I have created a new free resource called 'Parenting Teenagers' and you can join the group here for daily tips and inspiration and support. You can also post questions or comments or tips.

If this isn't for you then please pass this onto somebody else as it is a much needed FREE resource.

I believe I have the experience to help parents get the most out of this period. I have been a single parent for 10 years and have three teenage daughters who are also commenting in the group with their perspective. During this time I have also been running a business and I personally believe that raising teenagers is one of the most challenging and demanding times of our lives.

Perhaps we should ignore the moods and hope they go away? It's a strategy if you haven't got time for quality parenting but my only philosophy is always to begin with the end in mind.

What does your relationship with your son or daughter look like in 10 years time and how are you going to get there?

Happy New Year and happy parenting
Tracey

p.s. here is today's tip from the group:
Tip: Teenagers have hormones which, sometimes, make them sad or unpredictable or even angry and frustrated and it can seem like they have lost their sense of reason and proportion. Self esteem can be low. This is YOUR chance to STEP UP and give great support, coaching, advice ..seek first to understand and then to be understood. Align and then re-direct. Do something pro-active and positive. Get them to think about their dreams and create goal maps. Re-connect them to possibility. GO!

parenting teenagers

Maybe next year

2010-12-31T11:56:00.000Z

Maybe next year...

House prices will start booming

Your skills and expertise will be acknowledged and rewarded

Your boss will give you the go ahead for that project (and agree to take the rap if things don't work out)

Your kids, mother, partner will be happy and doing well and you wont feel guilty

People will stop bitching and playing politics

There will be no more snow and all the tubes and trains will run on time

There won't be any computer crashes/upgrades/down-time

Your friend will return that book

Then...

You can get a new job, you can launch your project, you can start your business.

Of course, all of these things won't happen. But, why wait for what you want?

While others were hiding last year, new products were launched, new jobs were created and brand new companies were formed. While they were waiting, people got promoted, organisations grew, and contracts were signed. While they were like a Deer in the headlights, money was being made, star employees were noticed and women took their place at the table.

Most of all, magic happened.

It's okay, though, because it's all going to happen again in 2011. It's not too late, just later than it was

Happy New Year!
(oh, yes, England brought home the Ashes!)

Get out of your own way in 2011

2010-12-15T10:34:00.000Z

This is probably my last blog before Xmas and so I am thinking about contribution and giving. In attempting to set a good tone for my three daughters regarding their individual responsibility to see the holiday season as a time of giving and not just receiving, we will again volunteer our time to help the needy. On the 23rd December we will be making our annual pilgrimage to East London where, early on that morning, we will join 200 other volunteers. Together we will make approximately 500 hampers and then we will get in our cars and personally deliver them to families who can't afford to buy Xmas lunch. My children have benefited enormously through the experience of volunteering. They have pushed through fear (knocking on a strangers door) and then experienced the love and appreciation that comes back (contribution) You can see more about the scheme here Basket Brigade

Do you think it would be good to learn about how to push through fear and what it feels like to really contribute beyond yourself at a young age? Of course, you say, but how many of us are actually doing it?

2010 has been a tough year for me in many ways but does that mean that 2011 has to be same? Does a bad year mean that I have to withdraw inside myself and engage in flight or fight behaviour from the reptilian part of my brain? Does a bad year mean that I haven't got time for Basket Brigade this year? Does a bad year mean that I have to set more realistic goals in 2011 and manage my expectations downward?

Here's what I think: It is time to set even bigger goals and expectations! It is time to step up and make a difference on a large scale. It is time for me to apply everything I know and everything I have learnt from all the amazing teachers and mentors that I have had. Time to apply all the knowledge from the thousands of courses and books I have consumed over the past 30 years.

It is time for growth. Time to get out of my comfort zone and lead from my own truth and not somebody else’s. The definition of a leader is simply that you walk ahead. It doesn’t mean that you walk one behind ...it means, literally, get out in front and make your own decisions about what's best for your life and your business or career.

Sadly, I know that 99% of you won’t do this. I know that you will get in your own way. Not because you are ignorant and not because you can’t be bothered but for two reasons.

1. You don’t have a peer group that will hold you up to higher standards

2. You don’t know the secret tools and techniques that all successful people use (both practical and magical) to get results

So will 2011 be the same old drudge? The same old frustrating politics? The same old negativity and cynicism? The same old lack?
Or would you rather rise above it all and take yourself to the next level in your life? More fulfillment. More passion and more money?

Each year I take on 15 coaching clients. This year I am upping my game and looking for an extraordinary peer group of coaching clients. This isn’t for the faint hearted. I will be expecting you to play at the same level that I am going to commit to and my goals are extraordinary. I am not interested in having a mediocre year next year - double dip or not. And so it makes sense not to create a mediocre coaching peer group.

My coaching peer group will meet up bi-monthly with regular teleconferences. I am going to give you all of my tools and techniques as I do them. I am going to share all my struggles and how I deal with the dark side too. (and yes, we are going to deal with the truth- we all have a dark side) As extra bonuses you will get to attend all of my live events and we will be in contact regularly via email, video blogs, Skype.

Please let me know if you are interested in joining this elite group. Like I said, it is not for the faint hearted and neither will it be cheap (how much do you usually value yourself and invest in you?) You will only get something out of this if you are willing to make 2011 your best year yet and that means being an A Player and making extraordinary commitments to which we will hold you accountable.

If you would like to apply, please email me at tracey@eve-olution.net and tell me why it should be you.

I am looking to create something powerful, magical and extraordinary in 2011 and beyond. Are you?

Merry Xmas (or holidays) and blessings to all of you and yours at this wonderful time of year

Tracey
p.s. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result

TED's goal re: gender parity

2010-12-07T10:03:00.003Z

There is much blogging and news on the upcoming TED women's conference. I just read this post on my early morning surf.

There is real energy and passion in this statement calling TED on it's goals re gender parity.

This is how gender parity should be handled in my book. Actively and with no excuses and zero tolerance.

We all have a part to play. What are you doing?

I have some ideas about we (you and me) can collectively do more to balance the world

A passionate pledge from TED

A gift for you

2010-11-29T17:36:00.001Z

I am just back from the round table event for Lord Davies ....me and a few people who have been sitting around tables for the past 10 years!

One of the things that is really puzzling me is this ....despite there being pressure on us from Europe re quotas and despite there being only 3.8 percent women directors in the FTSE 250 ....diversity professionals will not engage on the http://www.genderiq.tv/ project

I have been told

It wont work for senior women
It wont engage the men
It's not professional enough
We don't want to focus on gender

What do you think? Here is s a link to one of the modules. Check out the resources tab as well as the Q&A function and the chapter functionality in the power point.
Gender IQ in negotiating

Please do let me have your opinion as it will really help me to understand how useful this tool might be and what our strategy might be re raising awareness if big organisations dont want to engage.

With passion, as always