Escape Hatch

Guilty Pleasure: People of Walmart

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 17:37:00 +0000

This is becoming one of the sites I check regularly. Partly because I am looking for a night job and applied at Wally World. I guess I am gearing myself up for the possible people I will encounter if I should get the job.

This last guy is called Rainbow Bill. We saw him at Incredible Pizza a few years ago. I innocently complimented his rainbow beard and he went into telling the group of us ((including my son Big B)) that he had been invited to do something or other w the OU cheerleaders and detailed how he had set his phone in his pocket to record video of the girls. Um didn't ask, but alright dude. We walked away quickly.

Also part of the site, which was new to me today, is reader submitted Walmart stories.

February 27th, 2010
Ridin’ The Bull
My husband works at a Walmart in Alabama, he came home from work yesterday laughing so hard it took him fifteen minutes to tell me the whole story. A few hours before he was supposed to be at work, around 7PM, a man somewhere in his 30s or 40s came into the store. He seemed like any normal shopper, he got assistance from a couple of the employees in trying to find what he was looking for. Apparently, they didn’t carry whatever it was he wanted. He walked to the front of the store as if he was about to leave but right as he got in front of all the cash registers, he turned around, dropped his pants, and began swinging his penis wildly in a circular motion with one hand, other arm in the air as if riding a bull. The police were called and the man was arrested, but not before scaring many people in the process. As far as I know, charges are going to be pressed against him.

Too funny. Got any guilty pleasures to share w/ me?

((Marf, didn't see a single one from Alaska, so maybe your Mom lucked out on the freaks at her store))

Dropped That Fucking Ball Didnt I???

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:38:00 +0000

My semi sorta New Year's plan/resolution was to bring Escape Hatch back to life. And I also took on Monday Musings last year and then let it pretty much die. I hope the others are carrying on. I do intend to go looking at some point.

But I am alive. My 2nd mammogram came back fine, which was a huge relief.

The boys are doing good. Big B is finishing up the 5th grade and will be moving on the middle school next year. Little B is in pre-k, givin' 'em hell. He is my wild child. And while tame comparing him to some other children, his behavior issues lately have me doing all kinds of research and deep thinking.

Comes down to separation anxiety ((I think)). He was not a daycare kid and to go from being home w/ Mommy ((Me)) 24/7 to an all day 5 days a week routine was a shock to the system. He still loves to go, he just also loves to cause havoc when there.

I'll go into that some other time. Tomorrow, a week or maybe 5. But I will go into it sometime.

Saw this just now and it is actually what brought me here today. Simple little graphic, but sums me up oh so well....

See ya soon Blogosphere!!! ...................................... Or not, who knows w/ me anymore.

Boob Squishin' ((take 2))

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:34:00 +0000

I had my first mammogram a few weeks ago.

39 now, it's time.

The procedure itself was not fun. Standing very close to a total stranger while she holds, feels, moves and manipulates your breasts is not anything to be happy about. The squishin was not bad enough to get hysterical about, but it was uncomfortable.

I just wanted her to do what had to be done. Don't bs me, just do it so I can get dressed and go. That would not go over well w/ some people so I got the full talky treatment. Lady, when you are standing inches from my face, massaging my right boob, I don't want to hear it. I really appreciate your concern but I just do not care.

She was a kind lady, w/ bleach blonde hair ((not that there is anything wrong w/ that)) and waaay too much eye makeup for her age ((50 something)). I found myself thinking "people somewhere would probably pay for this".

Squish the boob from this angle, that angle, now just the nipple ((OW-fucking-CH)), ok now from the sides.

So... I made it through... I was told I would be mailed the results in 2 weeks and they would call if they found something. She called yesterday morning. In fact, I woke up, saw the missed call, and before I was even fully awake I heard "Monique, this is ___ w/ _____ and I have your mammogram results. Please return my call so we can discuss them please".

They found a lump in each breast. I have to go back in for a tighter compression and a deeper scan. They want to flatten out those lumps, trying to see through them. If they can, good, it's fatty tissue or a cyst. If they cannot, then I must go in for a biopsy of each.

We had set up an appointment for yesterday at 1 30, she called to change it to 2 30 today and then called again to change it to 11 30 today. UGH!

I leave in a few minutes for counseling and then to the mammo right after. Fun day huh?

Funny Funny

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 01:27:00 +0000

Monday Musings+ -72- David Ryan, Clifford Stall, Rob Stampfli

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:32:00 +0000

"You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living

until the escape becomes the habit." - David Ryan

"Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users?" - Clifford Stall

"If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that [facebook] is far more addictive than cocaine" - Rob Stampfli

Welcome to all, please join in. Post a quote on your blog, add your link below to send us directly to the quote, or very simply share one in the comments.

Hi, my name is Monique, and I am addicted to Facebook.

Not surprised? Really? It's true. I get sucked in w/ something simple like a text stating it is a friend's birthday. I jump in to send a quick message w/ warm wishes for their day and then feel the need, drive, twitch, compulsion, urge, to check my farms and fish, and oh is it time to work in YoVille? I'm ahead of my friends on Fishville, and want to keep it that way. Because, you know, it matters in life. L

I'm actually much more addicted to Farmtown and Fishville than any of the others. Something about designing the tanks makes me all warm and fuzzy feeling. Sad? Yes I know *hanging my head in shame ((just for show))*

If you are strong enough to resist, by all means do, but if not, there is a Facebook link on the sidebar, friend me and we'll be lifelong neighbors in the land of Oz.That sounded much cooler in my head. L

Farmtown, level 60 ((intense addiction))
Farmville, level 33 ((moderate addiction))
Fishville, level 49 ((strong addiction))
Yoville, level 38 ((comes and goes))
Happy Aquarium, level 25 ((I forget about it and my fish die))
Petville, level 12 ((my pet Floopsy has run off a few times from not being fed))

.................... and in case you actually WANT to break the addiction:
Five clues that you are addicted to Facebook

Facebook Syndrome: 8 Ways to Beat Your Facebook Addiction

Why moms are at risk for Internet addiction

Facebook Addiction-Funny

Happy New Year Blogosphere!!

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 21:26:00 +0000

Gee, last post of the year comes after the last post on December 9th. Hmmm, wonder what my New Year's resolution could be? Like maybe actually use this wonderful space? Give the people something to look at if not read? Hmmm I say.

Hope it's a great night for all. The boys and I are trying to find a copy of 2010 A Space Odyssey for tonight. No such luck. Would have been a great thought for say, a week ago, but now every rental is out, duh. The silly string fight ((in the snow this year)) and tiki punch toast to the year ahead will happen as always.

Be safe out there!!

Awkward Family Photos

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:27:00 +0000

I absolutely love this site.

-=SPLAT=-

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:57:00 +0000

Divorce Crunch Crazy

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:10:00 +0000

In Tulsa County when you file for divorce when children are involved, both parties must attend a mandatory seminar on helping kids cope w/ divorce. So much so, that sole custody will go to the parent who does attend if the other does not. Last Wednesday we went to court for the parenting conference. I was a total mess. I hate that this is happening to my boys. I tried to will myself angry and simply could not. I was sad.

The first seminar available was this Saturday and I was sure to have my butt in a seat. It was a long 4 hours but did have useful information. Everyone ran out at the end and fought to get their cars out and be on their way. I was not unlike them, I wanted to get home and enjoy the rest of my Saturday.

I pulled out this way and "she" pulled her car out the other and we crunched corners. Sucks.

I picked the boys up from J yesterday and we had planned to go buy our yearly Hallmark ornaments for the tree. They were so tired and fussy we had to postpone it. What I did not plan on, is being up all night w/ them both. I could hear Big B crying and mumbling in his sleep. I tried to wake him, and could not. I sat w/ him for half an hour trying to make some sense of what he was saying, and could not.

Little B bitched and moaned about the hallway light being off. Finally I told him to come to my bed. He tossed and turned and talked and kicked all night. It was not a good one.

Amazingly, the last I checked the time was 5am. And everyone seemed to calm then. The sleep was great. Until my alarm rang out at 6 15. I snoozed it until 7 and decided we weren't going anywhere this morning.

Now at 3pm, we are heading out to get the ornaments and then home to do Christmas cards. Everyone will be in bed by 7 30 tonight.

Owwwwie!!

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 05:03:00 +0000

Court Tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 01:44:00 +0000

It is stated as a Parenting Conference. Not looking forward to it at all. In fact I'm pretty much a mess about it.

Sunday Comics v 64: Natalie Dee

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:54:00 +0000

......and actually ON Sunday too.

Tastes Like Ass

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:49:00 +0000

Oh Yeah? Vedi Vedi Inters'ting

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:24:00 +0000

Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 05:35:00 +0000

This is the first "real" holiday that I am w/o the boys. They left this afternoon w/ Dad for Thanksgiving. Feels weird, but I'm not a mess about it tonight ((thanks Celexa lol)).

I'm spending the day w/ my extended family. I have not spent a Thanksgiving w/ them in many years. It will be ------ nice.

The boys are coming home Friday night and up goes the tree on Saturday. C'mon Christmas. I'm excited.

Hope everyone's day is grand.

"Don't Forget Me...."

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:55:00 +0000

In my years working in photo-labs, I gathered a collection of unusual film canisters from around the world.

I know that at one point I tossed some, thinking how silly it is to keep such a common thing. Now it has been 12 years since I held one in my hand.

The Mother of the Day Award Goes To......

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:17:00 +0000

Not Me!

This weekend was so busy and rushed, we were all due for a down day. Last night I forgot to start the dryer w/ every pair of jeans Big B has in it.

My dog, Lucky, went into a seizure while on my bed and fell several feet to the ground, HARD, hitting my elliptical w/ her head. It was a bad seizure and I was awake well after it had gone to make sure she was ok. That was 4 45am.

Then Little B came in having peed in his bed, which he began doing after the divorce stuff started up. Poor baby.

Basically when my alarm went off at 6, my eyes would not open fully. They just rolled and I had that dizzy nonfocused thing happening. After the one 15 minute snooze, that I spent realizing I had forgot to start the dryer and the jeans were still wet and now needed to be rewashed from sitting overnight, I just turned it off and we all slept in until 9 30.

Sometimes you just have to say fuck it.....

Video: Granny's Dildo / Mema's 75th Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:54:00 +0000

Today is my Grandmother ((Mema))'s 75th birthday party. It reminded me of this video. This would never go over w/ my family.

Thought for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:54:00 +0000

I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
— Louisa May Alcott, Author & Women's Activist (1832-1888)

Pop 'n' Go

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:04:00 +0000

Divorce Papers? I Haz Them

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:48:00 +0000

2 weeks? Really?

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:29:00 +0000

I heard an interesting quote. One that I've heard before and had some reaction to, but this time, it really made me think. I thought of EH and I thought of Monday Musings, which was left in my care by Barbara at Candy Hearts and Paper Flowers. I have regrettably let it slide, when at times it was one of two things I was sure to do weekly. The other being Sunday Comics. Ok, the quote....

"It's better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no sense of self." -Cyril Connelly

I am nothing if not full of "self". Not in an egotistical way. I just enjoy me and typically say, feel and try to do what is right and true to myself. Over the last 2 years, as my marriage has been topsy turvy, upside down and back again, I have tried to uphold that self in this blog. I think I lost it somewhere in this last go around. BUT, recognizing that is the first step in recovery, right??

SO, Escape Hatch, I reclaim you. As my little spot to be whatever I feel like being at that moment when butt hits chair and I come here to relate, show off, or just be. You're mine!

Having said that....

I realized when I came here that a friend, Nikki at Confessions of the Soul, had posted to her long forgotten blog. And it was in going to hers that I saw it had been 2 weeks since the Blah post. You know I love my Google images... Here are my findings for assorted things "2".....

yikes. helluva way to start.

could be an easy way to earn some money, except that it's 40 degrees out today

starting to see why Marf is addicted to Sims

love Bejewled 2... I haven't played in many moons, but it's fun

sleep in good

this looks like an interesting blog, saved it to go back to

I don't get it. It shows a 2, 4 squares and 1 bed. ??

Thrice-Greatest Hermes, Vol. 2

I really like the show Dexter. But why on earth animate it?

The Gettysburg Address, draft, page 2

Mjollnir's Meissa

... a very cute series of pictures from the birth of a cat to 12 weeks

CHINAdaily.com's topic,

What are the most common misunderstandings between Men & Women?

Blah

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:11:00 +0000

It's how I feel - blah. Nothing zippy about blah. Nothing fun, perky or snazzy about blah. It's just blah! Boring boring blah.

Time to snap out of it.........

Death In The Family

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:38:00 +0000

Much to do.... Be back when I can.

Sunday Comics v63

noreply@blogger.com (Monique) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 18:47:00 +0000