Welcome to Elijahland

A Family of Four

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Wed, 16 May 2012 20:11:15 PDT

The night before

Yesterday, May 15th, our family of three became a family of four.

Oliver Luke Wagner was born at 7:58 am, weighing in at 9 pounds and 2 ounces. He was 21.5 inches long.

Moments after birth; he's a big guy!

The delivery was beautiful and peaceful.

Meeting our second born

Elijah met his brother yesterday (he's in the capable care of his Uncle Andy and Aunt Karen in our absence). Elijah looked at Oliver a few times, but didn't seem to know what to think about his new brother. I'm interested to see how he'll react in the weeks to come as we all fall into new routines at home.

First family photo

My recovery is coming along great so far and I can say that this birth experience was about a million times better than the last time. I feel so at peace and happy. This is what a birth is supposed to feel like.

Oliver Luke; We're madly in love

Thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes. We're on cloud nine and feel so blessed to be a family of four. We have two incredible little boys that we get to call our own.

Yes, I'm Still Pregnant (and Other Updates)

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Mon, 14 May 2012 20:50:29 PDT

I'm Still Pregnant...for now
This pregnancy has gone by so very fast. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that this time around there is a little man named Elijah to keep me busy. And, I guess it's good news for me that I feel like this pregnancy has just flown by. I haven't had the time to sit around and ponder my state too much, which is a good thing since our last birth was not a pleasant experience (to say the least).

Today, I am 39 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, on Tuesday, May 15th, I'll be giving birth to our second son via c-section. It's a little strange for me to know the date and time I'll be giving birth; it's so different from last time when we were waiting and wondering and waiting some more. I'm doing my best to focus on the meeting of our son and not so much on the fact that I'll be having surgery. All that really matters to me is that soon I'll be holding our son in my arms. I'm looking forward to laying my eyes on him and hearing him cry. These are not things I take for granted as I hate to wait for these things last time.

Elijah's Hand
In other news, Elijah's hand seems to be healing well. His middle finger is looking great. It's his ring finger, which had the biggest burn, which is taking longer to heal. He did end up having a 3rd degree burn on part of that finger, so we still need to keep his finger wrapped to avoid an infection. The 3rd degree part of Elijah's burn is in-between his joints which is a good thing in terms of mobility. We'll have to keep on eye on it to make sure it doesn't get too stiff as it heals and we'll have to keep it moist with lotion to try to minimize scarring.

But, despite a third degree burn, his finger seems to be healing really well.

So, that's what's been happening around here. We're waiting...for Elijah's hand to heal and for our next member of our family to join us. The good news is that the wait for both is not long at all.

I would certainly appreciate thoughts and prayers that all will go well tomorrow, that our newest little and I would have protection and that we'll both be super healthy. When you've had a terrible birth experience like we have had, it's hard not to remember the last time. Perhaps you could pray for some peace for me too. I've been having a lot of memories of Elijah's birth lately and that's not an easy thing to remember. Thanks!

Stay tuned for news of sweet baby boy's arrival!

No, Seriously, Never a Dull Moment

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 21:20:00 PDT

I've been lax about updating lately, I know. And, there's about a million other things I'd like to be updating you all about, but today I must let you know of our latest escapade with Elijah.

Pout unrelated to this particular story

On Wednesday morning, I got a call from Elijah's school letting me know he'd burnt his hand on a steam pipe they didn't realize was exposed. They said I needed to pick him up and that he probably needed to be seen by a doctor.

So I took him to the doctor immediately. Upon examining the wounds - which were on the back of the fingers on his right hand - the doctor said she thought it was a third degree burn. Then she told me it would probably leave a scar and that since it covered a joint, it was possible he would lose some mobility in his hand and the scarring could make his fingers tight and difficult to bend. I had been thinking the burn wasn't too serious up to this point, but when I heard the words "3rd degree" and "loss of mobility" my heart sunk.

When I got home, I broke down. How could there be yet another thing working against our sweet little man? The use of his hands is already difficult for Elijah and here I was being told that he could lose more mobility. Not to mention, it's his right hand -which just so happens to the hand that he uses the most.

The doctor did give me the number and address for the Burn Unit if we wanted to take a more aggressive approach, which could mean skin grafting or surgery. She left that decision up to me. Andy and I thought it would be best to get a second opinion and see if there was anything else we could do to prevent any long-term effects - from those who deal with burns all the time.

So today, Thursday, we went to the Burn Unit. And, thankfully, they had better news for us. They think Elijah's burn looks more like a second degree burn, that it won't affect his mobility, and that it probably won't scar (at least not too bad). They can't tell for sure because the blisters are still intact (we can't tell the depth of the burn until the blisters break, so there is still a chance that the burn is more serious), but it sounds like this hopefully won't be affecting Elijah long-term.

In the meantime, we need to keep Elijah's fingers clean and then be diligent about wrapping it once the blisters are broken to prevent infection. We'll see what the next couple of weeks bring, but we're hopeful that this will all be a distant memory soon.

First Day Ouchie Blisters

So, all in all, it's been an eventful couple of days. We're confident that everything is going to work out fine, but we'd be grateful if you'd send a prayer in little guy's direction. Elijah sure has been through a lot in his little life, but I don't know anyone with a better attitude and demeanor than our little man. He's been such a trooper and we're so, so proud.

The Case of the Missing Shoe

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 19:51:42 PDT

The other morning, Elijah and I were about to head out the door to go to school. As I walked to where we keep our shoes, I noticed that only one of my shoes was where I'd left them.

"Elijah, where is my shoe?," I asked a little amused and also a bit frustrated. We really needed to get going and I didn't have time for a shoe hunt.

Little man acted like he had no idea what I was talking about at all. I started walking around the house, looking in his usual hiding places. Recently, he's taken to throwing things over the safety gates in our house, but my shoe was no where to be found. I was confused.

Elijah doesn't really intentionally hide things at this point, it's more a matter of him picking things up and placing them elsewhere. So, where in the world could it be?

I slid on some pink flip-flops and started to get Elijah's shoes on his feet. We didn't have time for a shoe hunt. It was time to go.

Then it dawned on me...

The washing machine!

The day before I'd been teaching Elijah how to put laundry in the washing machine. It's not the first time I'd shown him how, but it was the first time he'd actually gotten some clothes in on his own. He loves to help me around the house so, so much.

Sure enough, the case of the missing shoe was solved.

A shoe in my washing machine totally made my day and gave me quite the laugh. We have a clever boy indeed.

Leaping in the Snow

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 21:28:47 PST

We finally got some snow here in Minnesota.

Sure, we've had a few inches here and there, but this has been a weird Winter for us. We've had very little precipitation and warm temps have caused our snow to melt quickly. It seemed like Winter never arrived.

Now, I'm not complaining, but I have missed the snow. So when we got dumped with snow last night and today, I was pretty thrilled. And when school, ABA, and occupational therapy were all cancelled I was pretty excited for a Snow Day!

It didn't take much convincing for Elijah to take a nap with me in the late morning. It's pretty nice to be able to snuggle with both of my boys, one in my arms and the other kicking in my belly.

We decided to wait until Andy got off from work to head outside. Elijah doesn't last too long in the cold and I wanted to share the Wintery-goodness with all of my boys.

I've been waiting all season for fun in the snow. Snow Day 2012 delivered.

Pretty awesome leap-day if you ask me.

Our Lobby Friend

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 08:57:43 PST

Seriously, there really is never a dull moment around here.

Yesterday, Elijah had the staples from his head removed and then ABA therapy in the afternoon. Near the end of his therapy, his therapist brought Elijah to me and asked me to take his temperature. I did and it was over 100. Bummer. Therapy was obviously cancelled from that point and cancelled for today.

Last evening, Andy and I decided to take Elijah to Urgent Care. When he'd had his staples removed, they said to watch for a fever, a sign of infection. Elijah's nose has been stuffy for almost two weeks and we figured it wouldn't hurt to get him seen as soon as possible.

We took him in and found out he has an ear infection, his first in his four and a half years. Interestingly, he didn't have a fever at the clinic, which makes me wonder if our thermometer is inaccurate. Today, we're having a sick day together, wearing elastic pants and generally behaving as we usually do (a cold doesn't slow this kid down). Oh, and his head wound isn't infected and is looking great, by the way.

While we were waiting to be seen at Urgent Care, a guy in the lobby started to chat with us. He reminded me of my dad, if only for one reason - they both like to find strangers and carry on a conversation (hi dad!).

The guy told us that he drove truck for a living, how he'd driven all night, that he'd gotten only two hours of sleep, that his apartment wouldn't allow him to have a dish so he had cable which was "so stupid", that he'd gotten an extra hundred bucks to unload his trailer earlier that day.

I told him I hoped he'd get some sleep that night.

"Oh, yeah, I will. There's only one show I want to stay up for tonight," he said.

"What's that?" I asked.

"One Tree Hill," he replied.

He told us how he'd gotten hooked when he was living with someone who watched it.

Then he mentioned that the only other show he was hooked on was WWE wrestling.

Last night, I was flipping channels and saw that One Tree Hill was airing. I laughed. Imagining this rough and tumble WWE-fan truck driver sitting on his couch watching a show that is marketed towards the young and female struck me as so, so funny.

There's something admirable about a person who isn't ashamed to admit that they like something that might be embarrassing. Everyone needs a harmless guilty pleasure.

Good for you, lobby friend. I hope you enjoyed your show and slept well last night.

Impromptu Nap

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:04:11 PST

I was trying to eat a quick lunch before needing to head out for an Elijah doctor appointment. I'd eaten about half of my sandwich when I realized that Elijah was being much too quiet. I can usually keep an ear (if not always an eye) on him by listening to him play with his noisy toys. The house had become silent, which usually means trouble. Right?

I walked into the next room to find little man sleeping peacefully in the sunlight, something I remember doing as a kid. This is not the typical behavior from our active little guy. I stood and watched him for a moment, soaking in his cuteness and savoring the moment.

Love is an understatement.

Never a Dull Moment

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 19:47:27 PST

WARNING - This post contains a picture that may gross out some. Don't scroll down if you don't wish to see it (for the rest of you, it isn't that bad).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Remember how I once wrote that life is always full of adventures?

Well, yesterday was an adventurous day.

Thursdays are usually pretty busy with ABA therapy in the morning and in the afternoon. Yesterday, we also had our new OT come during the lunch hour to help us work on oral motor and fine motor skills. In the fifteen minutes between the OT's departure and the next ABA therapist's arrival, Elijah managed to have a temper tantrum, trip, and fall into the corner of a piece of furniture.

I picked him up and that's when I saw the blood and the gash on the top of his head. I kind of freaked out. There was a lot of blood.

I scooped Elijah up and brought him to the kitchen, grabbed a washcloth and held it to Elijah's head to stop the bleeding and called Andy's cell and put him on speaker phone. Andy later told me that his phone was cutting out so all he could hear was, "A lot of blood...don't know what to do."

In a few minutes, Elijah's ABA therapist, N, knocked on the door with a smile on her face. I answered it with Elijah in my arms. "Um, hi," I said. "Elijah hit his head and I think I need to take him to the hospital. This just happened." I motioned to his head.

"Yeah, that looks like it needs stitches," N said. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

I ran upstairs to get bandages and proceeded to wrap the little man's head. I was so flustered as I ran around trying to get my brain straight. My adrenaline was in high gear, my heart beating fast. N helped me by putting Elijah's shoes on his feet while I gathered my things to get ready to head the hospital.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" N asked. "Have you eaten anything? Grab yourself a snack. You don't want any other problems," she sweetly suggested, looking out for me and my pregnant belly.

In the meantime, Elijah was as calm as can be. He cried a little bit when he first hit his head, but was quiet and ready to get on with the rest of his day. I wish I could say I was as calm as he was.

We arrived at the hospital and were quite the spectacle. Elijah, a bandage wrapped around his head, was skipping into the hospital with a smile on his face. People couldn't help but smirk at him as we walked past. By the time we arrived at the hospital, my nerves had calmed considerably. I was starting to wonder if I was overreacting.

Andy showed up not too long after we did. A short chat with the doctor later, three staples to the head, and Elijah and I were on our way back home. The wound wasn't too bad, thankfully.

Staples.

Staples! My kid has staples in his head. Ew.

To be honest, I'm surprised we haven't had an injury like this sooner. Little man is fearless, has a high pain tolerance, is visually impaired, and is on the move more than any child I know. Oh, and he trips a lot.

Ouch

That was really not how I was expecting my Thursday to go. I don't think it was what Elijah was expecting either. The first thing he did after we got home was go and look at the piece of furniture in question as if he was trying to figure out how that happened.

There really is never a dull moment around here.

Time Travel

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:29:26 PST

"Did you go to the NICU today?"I asked Andy last night.

"What?" Andy asked with a concerned and confused look on his face.

"I went to the NICU earlier today. I figured you went there too."

Andy, puzzled, looked at me like I was losing it (this is not the first time I've gotten a look like this from him).

"Think about it, Andy. Did you use the bathroom at the doctor today? Did you wash your hands?"

"Oh," Andy said, realization overcoming his face. "The soap. Yes, the soap."

We had a six-month check-up with Elijah's rehabilitation medicine doctor (Dr. Nice Guy) yesterday. On the way out, we both used the bathroom. As I stood washing my hands in the sink, suddenly it was four and a half years ago and I was scrubbing up my hands and arms in order to be able to see my fighting-for-his-life-son. It's amazing how something like a smell can transport you through time (and I know I'm not the only parent who's bothered by the smell of hospital soap).

As I glanced at myself in the mirror, I was happy to see myself in the present time, knowing my boy was being lovingly placed into his car-seat by his dad and not laying in an isolette nearby.

Please don't tell anyone that I've discovered the secret to time travel. It can remain undiscovered if you ask me.

Eli and his wild hair

A Little...

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 07:14:05 PST

Elijah is going to be a big brother!
Oh wait, you already knew that (cheeky, aren't I?)

Elijah's little sibling seems to be super healthy. Growth seems to be right on track and everything looks as they would expect it to look (sigh of relief).

How much longer can I delay the information you are waiting for?

Elijah is going to have a little si.....
sibling! (you thought I was going to say sister didn't you?)

Okay, okay.

Elijah is going to have a little brother!

Yes, I'm going to be outnumbered with boys.

As the ultrasound technician announced the gender, I started to cry.

"Are those tears of joy?" she asked.

"Yes, they are," I replied with a smile and a nod. "I think Elijah is going to love having a little brother. I can't wait."

Images of our sons playing together danced through my head and the joy engulfed me.
Another son. A son. A boy. Our boys.

I couldn't be happier.

I am so, so blessed. I know it now more than I ever have.

Finding Out

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 09:06:43 PST

Yesterday marked the halfway point of my pregnancy. Today we have our 20-week ultrasound.

I'd be lying if I said that the only feeling I'm having is excitement. I'm also anxious and a little scared.

I know too much now.

I know that an ultrasound is sometimes more than finding out whether your baby will be wearing pink or blue. Sometimes an ultrasound means discovering a life-altering diagnosis.

I knew this, of course, when I was pregnant with Elijah. But, I didn't really know it. I was one of those annoying pregnant women who thought nothing bad could happen to me. And then bad things did happen to me and now I know. I know that things happen, they can happen to anyone, and that anyone could be me.

Last time Andy and I decided we didn't want to know the gender of our baby ahead of time. We'd heard way too many stories about the ultrasound tech getting it wrong, of couples bringing a boy home to a pink room - or vice versa. We liked the idea of the ultimate surprise. And, really, we didn't care either way if it was a boy or a girl. We just wanted the baby to be healthy we'd say. Words that somehow sting now, even though they still wring true. Health is such a blessing.

We were met with two reactions when we'd tell people we weren't finding out whether Elijah-to-be was a boy or a girl. I'd hear either, "That's so great that you're not finding out. That's how it should be." Or, "Why in the world would you wait? I want to know what you're having!" Apparently peeking at the gender is a topic with many opinions.

The moment they announced, "It's a boy" will forever remain my favorite moment of Elijah's birth, a birth that was nothing like it should have been. That moment was literally the only moment of joy in a scary situation.

But this time? This time I want to know ahead of time. There is an inherent need in me for things to be drastically different. I don't want the announcement of my child's gender to be the most exciting moment of his or her birth. I'd like it to be the moment I hold him or her or the moment my eyes first see this child. I just want things to be different. Happy different.

I have no reason to believe that my ultrasound today will be anything other than a joyful experience of seeing our child and finding out a tidbit about who they will be. My pregnancy with Elijah was textbook and this one seems to be following suit.

I am a little nervous, but mostly excited to get a glimpse of this little one who has been making popcorn in my belly in the mornings and evenings. I'm already madly in love - boy or girl, diagnosis or no diagnosis.

Baby of mine, I love you.

Just Me and My Dad

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 22:01:35 PST

I love to watch Elijah with his dad.

Watching them take an impromptu snooze on the couch on a Sunday afternoon...

or seeing Elijah help Andy as he tried to fix the squeaks in our floor.

Elijah is helpful like most kids are (which is not very helpful at all, right?).

He is one of the cutest little helpers I've ever seen, though. It's great to see him take an interest in what Andy is doing.

And best of all, he loves spending time with his daddy.

Blessed? Yes. Yes, we are.

Singing His Heart Out

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 12:56:19 PST

Elijah doesn't quite grasp the concept of a microphone just yet...

Mischief

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:03:42 PST

    The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind
    and another
    his mother called him "WILD THING!"...

-Quote from the children's book Where the Wild Things Are

Trying to figure out how to reach the cord for his stereo

I find myself muttering the word, "mischief" a lot these days. Elijah climbing or teetering on the edge of the couch, pulling his stereo off of the shelf, or kicking toys around the house to use them as stepping stools are common occurrences these days.

It reminds me so much of the book, Where the Wild Things Are.

Pure mischief.

The thing is, mischief is a good thing. I keep reminding myself of this. Elijah is in another exploration mode, trying to figure out how things work, how his body moves, and even how we will react when we find him in mischief.

The other night, Elijah climbed into bed, stood up and starting jumping - all while looking in our direction to see what we would do.

Mischief!

Sitting with Andy on the couch after Elijah was in bed, I had an epiphany. "I feel like we're going through the terrible twos with Elijah," I said. The terrible twos at four, that is.

"I just hope we don't get stuck in this phase for a really long time," Andy said. We sat in silence, both realizing that this parenting journey hasn't always been easy. We experience the same things a lot of parents do, it's just that the phases often come later and often last longer. And, yes, that can be hard sometimes.

With that said, it is a blessing too. We rejoice, momentarily, in the mischief ("Wow, Elijah was able to see the cord to the stereo, wonder what would happen when he pulled it, and bring his boombox crashing to the ground!"), before we move forward with stopping the behavior.

So, yes, I'm going a little crazy as Elijah gets into seemingly constant mischief. And I continually rejoice over the fact that he is able to get into mischief at all. Sometimes the baby in the NICU flashes before my eyes and I remember where we've been.

Watching him climb on a chair to try and touch his boombox seems like a miracle. And, really, it is.

As is the boy we call our son.


"I didn't do it"

The Joy of Medium (and a Thanks!)

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 20:35:15 PST

Walking in the kids section at Old Navy this past weekend, Andy pointed out all the cute animal hats for infants and children. I'd seen them all hanging on the wall, but had avoided them because hats make me uncomfortable.

You see, Elijah has microcephaly, which means that his head size is much smaller than average. Finding hats for him that fit properly can often be difficult. Consequently, shopping for hats can at times be depressing. It brings up emotions and memories that aren't always pleasant.

I remember shopping at the very same outlet mall when Elijah was just a tiny baby. We'd walked into a store with baby-Elijah looking for hats and I found one I liked. Extra-small. It was too big.

Staring at the wall of animal hats in Old Navy this past weekend, I almost didn't want to touch them. I picked up the owl hat, size small, and placed it on Elijah's head. He looked so cute, but the hat...it was just a bit too tight. I grabbed a medium and slid it on Elijah's head. It fit just right.

Elijah and I found Andy in another part of the store. Andy, almost reflexively, took the hat off of Elijah's head and looked at the tag.

"Medium?" he asked, looking at me.

I nodded with a smirk and we rejoiced with knowing smiles.

Did Elijah need a new overpriced owl hat? No, but we couldn't resist the joy of a medium.

-----------------------

I wanted to thank you all for the love you've given us via comments here on Elijahland (and Facebook and email and in person) about our exciting news. Sharing our joy with all of you means so much to us and I seriously feel so incredibly loved. Thank you.

Yes, It's True

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:32:43 PST

Elijah has an announcement to make...

He says, "Read my shirt."

Yes, it's true. Come May of next year, our family of three will become a family of four. We are beyond thrilled.

Leaves for Dinner

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:38:48 PST

One of my favorite things about the Fall is playing in the leaves, of which we're never in short supply.

This year Elijah enjoyed swimming in the leaves, bobbing under the leafy surface so that we could barely see him.

Playing in the leaves every Fall has become somewhat of a family tradition.

It's an awesome sensory experience for Elijah.

A sensory experience of which Elijah takes full advantage.

Yes, he comes up from his leaf dives with a mouth full of leaves.

Hmmm, perhaps I should add a leaf dish to my meal plans. Elijah seems to enjoy it.

Craaaaaah

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 18:15:34 PST

Elijah is standing behind me. Blowing air past his lips, Elijah makes a "craaahhh" noise.

"You're copying me aren't you, Elijah?" I ask.

Elijah smirks at me and laughs a little. He is copying me.

You see, I've had a bit of a cold lately. One of those annoying ones that causes you to be congested for a very long time and subsequently causes you to cough and blow your nose several times a day, even though you feel otherwise healthy (I'm already feeling much better, thank you).

I'll head to the bathroom to blow my nose and soon I hear the pitter-patter of Elijah-feet in my direction. He follows me to mimic the sound I make when blowing my nose.

This is pretty cool for our kiddo who's never mimicked much of anything we do (pretty cool indeed!). Elijah will sometimes imitate gross motor activities, but I really can't think of much that he has mimicked verbally. Even cooler is that he's been doing it all week. It's not just a one day thing or a one person thing (he's mimicked Andy too). Often when we've heard verbalization from Elijah we won't hear it again for six months, a year, or longer. It's a long time to wait.

So, when Elijah comes up to me and copies a noise I'm making? I'm beyond thrilled. He's really copying a sound with his mouth. I hope you all realize how profound it really is. Is it a word? Nope, but in my book it might as well be. That's how cool it is. Just tonight, I pretended to make the sound and Elijah did it too. "Craaaaah," he said, a smirk on his face. This back and forth verbalization is the beginning of speech, so yeah, it's pretty exciting.

Oh, and who cares if it's something gross? It's like a kid repeating that one thing you didn't want them to in an embarrassing setting. A parental rite of passage, don't you think?

{Also, how in the world am I supposed to spell this sound? Craaaah will have to do, I guess.}

Whirlwind

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 19:01:00 PDT

As Elijah and I reached the door to the grocery store, the piece of paper I'd been clutching in my hand went flying 15 feet into the air, torn from me by a wind gust.

I laughed.

And then Elijah and I, hand in hand, went on a chase through the parking lot for my dry cleaning slip. As we ran, the paper stuck to a lamppost. Soon it was only a few feet away. Just as I bent down to pick it up, again it would be blown far out of reach.

I thought I was in a comedy routine. I was secretly hoping someone was watching on the security cameras. It was hilarious, like someone had tied a string to my paper and kept yanking it just out of reach.

I finally caught up to the slip of paper, but only after traversing the entire parking lot. Elijah thought it was hilarious.

And this is kind of how my life feels lately, like a whirlwind. I think 2011 will go down in history as the busiest year ever - perhaps one of the most fun, too. I thought things might start slowing down now that it's autumn. No such luck. September has been a whirlwind. Oh, and October is almost over too?

I thought I'd better write an update for you all lest you think we've dropped off the face of the planet.

We're still here, chasing things, laughing as we go.

Here are some of the things we've been up to while I've neglected the blog...

Elijah went back to school for his second year of preschool (he loves school).

On one of the last hot days of the year, Elijah and I took Andy to the park we'd discovered on one of our adventures.

I turned 30 (really, that can't be true because I'm only 20!).

Elijah's aunt Casey got married to Tyler (congratulations you two!).

We celebrated the Feast of Tabernacles in Galveston Island, TX.

So, there you have it. We're still alive and well. And we've been having a lot of fun while not here in Elijahland.

Remembering

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 20:09:12 PDT

This picture gets me every time

September 4th was the anniversary of the day we got Elijah home from the hospital.

The day of his homecoming was one of the happiest of my life. It'd been a rough three weeks in the hospital, uncertain if our son would live, uncertain of what kind of future he would have. We knew a few things on this day four years ago...our precious son's brain was severely and globally hurt - but he was breathing on his own, he was eating orally, and he was the cutest thing we'd ever seen. So much was still uncertain...would he ever walk, talk, drive a car, get married? Four years later and we have some more answers, but certainly not all.

I'm a couple of days late, but every year I like to look back on that day we got our son home. I remember walking in the door, plopping myself down on the couch with our son, and crying tears of joy. I like to look at this picture and remember the relief, the feeling that everything was going to be okay. We had our son and that's all that mattered. He was finally ours and ours alone.

Home, finally. In our arms for good.

Nice

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 21:44:45 PDT

This morning I pulled into the parking lot clenching my teeth, my hands clutched firmly on the steering wheel.

Elijah, in the back seat, had been crying on and off all morning. A couple of his ABA therapists are on vacation and we've had a lot of time off this week. Today, Thursday, there was nothing on our schedule at all. While I love having time off, I think Elijah misses therapy when he doesn't have it. He loves the constant activity, the constant attention. It's hard to admit, but sometimes I'm not enough for our boy.

I got out of our van and sat in the back seat beside Elijah, offering him his morning snack. He let me know that he wanted to eat, but he just kept crying. If you've never tried, it's pretty impossible to feed a crying child. "Please, Elijah, let's just eat," I pleaded impatiently. "We're going to go swimming." The promise of fun didn't phase Elijah; I'm not sure he understood.

I watched out the back of our tinted van windows as a couple of families pulled into the parking lot and unloaded their children from vans, lugging beach equipment and towels on their shoulders.

My eyes welled up. I wish Andy were here, I thought, feeling vulnerable and alone with our screaming child.

Soon enough, Elijah stopped crying and it was my turn to lug beach equipment on my shoulder while also holding my favorite little man's hand.

This walk on the concrete sidewalk was the second time we'd walked it in the same morning. We'd gone earlier to check out the park upon a recommendation from one of Andy's co-workers/our friend (hi Ann!). I took Elijah on the slide, but soon he noticed the beach from quite a distance and wanted to go in the water (his Cortical Visual Impairment is no match for his aqua-man tendencies). I took him home to get us both changed into swim clothes, wherein lots of crying and screaming and thrashing and head-banging occurred. He doesn't easily forget an unanswered request.

Which brings us back to where I left off - finally arriving at the beach while holding Elijah's hand.

I laid a towel on the sand and then walked Elijah to the water. He was pretty much the happiest kid in the world. The beach was super nice and not too crowded. And while Elijah's been swimming plenty of times, this was my first solo trip. I was nervous. Elijah is getting big and controlling him can sometimes be difficult. Add water to that equation and it can be scary for my 5 foot 3 inch self. But, I did it. I took Elijah swimming by myself with no problems and we had a blast. Just another adventure for our record books.

As Elijah was walking through the water, squealing and splashing, a father nearby told his daughter, "Look how much fun he's having. He's splashing. Can you tell him hi? Tell him what your name is."

His daughter clung to him, shy.

Elijah walked over to the dad, grabbed his hand and asked him to splash by moving his hand. The dad complied unphased.

The man's wife and I struck up a conversation. Both of them were so friendly. They continually encouraged their children to interact with Elijah, something I appreciate more than I can possibly express. They treated us with such kindness.

"Show Elijah your snail, Abby," the dad encouraged. "Look how happy Elijah is to be in the water," the mom said.

After about an hour in the water, Elijah was clinging to me, shivering - my signal that it was time to go home.

"It was so nice to meet you," I told the mom.

"What was your name again?" she asked.

"Lisa. And yours?"

"Michelle."

Michelle and her husband totally made my day. I was feeling vulnerable and alone. They made me feel accepted. They didn't treat us like we were contagious when they noticed Elijah's differences. Just the opposite, they made an effort to befriend me and encouraged their children to do the same. I'm only wishing I'd gotten her contact info so that we could have gotten together again (someone needs to teach me the art of getting digits from other moms. Is it weird to ask? It seems kind of like dating and it just feels awkward).

I'm so glad that they were so nice. I've found that in navigating the world with a child who happens to have special needs, I've found plenty of nice people and very few mean ones. Good to know.

***

I don't have any photos from our adventure to the beach today since I was busy trying to make sure Elijah was safe. Instead, I've included these pictures from our annual camping trip earlier this summer.

Arch Nemesis

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:10:08 PDT

Dear Deceivingly-pretty-yellow-weeds,

I'd be okay if you never visited me ever again.

Your very presence means cool weather is on the horizon.

I'm not ready for you, ragweed. You hear me?

The summer had a late start in Minnesota and I was hoping for a late start to the fall.

Go away and let me enjoy the last weeks of warm weather sniffle free. Okay?

I don't think you're listening.

Sincerely,
Stuffy Lisa

P.S. You're not as pretty as you think you are.

Again

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 19:48:01 PDT

Elijah is hitting his head...again.

I've written about his head-banging before, but haven't mentioned it in a really long time. That's because he wasn't doing it anymore. I'm not even sure exactly how we got him to stop or even exactly when it did stop, but it did. It had been several (six or more) months since I'd seen (or heard) Elijah hit his head on the floor (or wall or other hard object. We'd adjusted to a new normal, a normal that was calmer and happier, one that had very few self-injurious behaviors (all of which were hand-biting). The head banging was gone - completely.

And then it started again. A couple of weeks ago, we were woken by the sound of thud-thud-thud-thud-thud, the heart-wrenching sound of our child hitting his head on his bedroom floor.

"No, not again," I whispered in the darkness.

It brings me back to a hard time in my parenting life, when I would have to prevent Elijah from hurting himself many times a day, when I would sit next to my child and cry and wonder how I could live with so much heartbreak.

I don't get why this is happening again, why Elijah is resorting to his old ways instead of using the communication skills that have opened up his world.

But, I remember that we've been through this before and came out on the other side. This time isn't as bad as before. He's not doing it daily, multiple times a day. I have to believe that we will be able to get him to stop this behavior again, hopefully never to return.

In the meantime, I hold onto the good moments. Those precious seconds of dancing with my son, those times that he grabs my hand and pulls it toward himself asking me to tickle him again. I hold onto our laughter, the happy times we have together.

I hold onto that special moment Monday morning. Elijah, walking towards me, his arms reaching to find my hand to ask me to turn on our ceiling fan. His squinty eyes looking to me, his voice saying, "Moooooom," the m sound clearly book-ending the o. It's a rare moment that I get to hear our son say my name and I hold onto it. I clutch it to me like a prized possession, holding it to my chest, never to let it go.

I wait until I get to hear my name again. I wait until I won't ever hear thud again. I know both will happen.

Adventures

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 21:23:35 PDT

Growing up, when things got off track, my mom would always say we were on an adventure. Are you lost? It's an adventure! Your plans have changed? Another adventure! It's sounds like so much more fun than "you took a wrong turn" doesn't it? It's something I've taken to saying in my life when unexpected things (of any sort) happen.

I wanted to share some adventures from last week Tuesday. Elijah and I had such a fun day. And a really interesting night...

Eli had no therapy all morning (a rare occurrence in our life), so I decided we'd go on a little shopping adventure. When we got to the outdoor shopping mall, I noticed that there were a lot of small children with their parents waiting in line for something. Upon investigation, I found that they were in line to get their faces painted and then to watch a clown show. So, Elijah and I stayed to watch the show, a fun little adventure.

Out to lunch

Elijah liked the sound of all the kids laughing, but wasn't thrilled about the clowns. After a few minutes, we went on our way. I can't blame him; I'm not much of a fan of clowns myself...not since that one time a clown tried to get me to kiss him at a carnival (but, that's probably a story for another day). Oh yeah, and then there's that movie It that I'd seen snippets of when I was a teenager on TV. Shudder.

Next, I took Elijah to a toy store, where I let him pick out a toy for his birthday. I was super proud of Elijah as he played with all sorts of unfamiliar toys, happily exploring the kid-heaven. You see, for much of Elijah's life, he's been scared of unfamiliar toys. The toy aisle wasn't a happy place, but rather a cry-inducing scary place for Elijah. I used to be the mom fleeing the toy department with a crying toddler - which probably seemed like a typical toy temper tantrum - when really we were running for dear life from an upsetting toy. Yes, sometimes some toys still make Elijah pout or cry, but on this particular day Eli was a toy store pro. It's the kind of thing that's a milestone, but no one even knows it. They don't have a box to check on the development charts about successful toy store trips, do they?

After the toy store, I bought a tea dispenser for myself that I'd been eying online. I thought it'd be perfect to use for Elijah's birthday.

Out to lunch with mom

By this time, it was lunch and I was faced with a conundrum...do I drive home to have lunch a bit late - or do I take Elijah out to eat at a restaurant by myself (a first for me)? I can't tell you how much my heart soared to be able to spend time with Elijah, just like the mom and son I saw sitting near the entrance while we waited in line to order our food. Eli and me, just another mother and son out to lunch together. Granted, I did end up eating my lunch on the way home since it is difficult to eat and feed Elijah at the same time. Even so, I was proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone and trying to keep Elijah corralled in a busy restaurant, with no one there to rescue me. A milestone for me and another adventure.

Asleep on the way home

That night, after Elijah was in bed, I was super excited to show Andy the glass tea dispenser I'd bought. I could tell he thought it was a silly purchase and I was trying to convince him of it's awesomeness while I pulled it out of the box. That's when I noticed that there was a chip in the side of the main part and I'd have to return it. Bummer. We started to discuss when we'd return it and went on with our night.

About an hour later, I was in the kitchen when I noticed something stuck to my left big toe. I used my other foot to simply sweep it away. A sharp shooting pain shot up through my body telling my brain that I didn't swipe off a crumb, but something more sinister.

"Oh.....Shoot," I said. "Oh no. That's not good" (These are the words Andy reports that he heard me say from the other room). It didn't take me long to figure out that the chip in the side of the tea dispenser had fallen on the floor and I'd just cut my foot with it - sliced it, in fact.

The culprit - an arrowhead piece of glass smaller than a dime

As I realized what had happened, I started freaking out.

"Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Andy, Andy, Andy. Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to the ER. I think I need to go to the ER. I don't want to go to the doctor. I don't want to wake up Elijah. Oh, no. I don't want to go. I think I need to go to the doctor," I rattled off, my body shaking, blood dripping on the floor like a leaking faucet.

Andy was super calm through it all, took a look at my toe and said he thought we needed to go to the ER. So, off we went for another adventure, waking Elijah up from his slumber.

I wasn't in much pain when we got to the ER and I was starting to hope that maybe I was overreacting. The doc took a quick look at my foot, however, and said, "Yeah, you're going to need stitches" as if he was afraid of what my reaction to that news would be.

"Okay," I said feebly.

As the doctor was stitching me up, Andy started talking about some of the ER trips that have happened in his family over the years. That got the doctor started on some ER tales of things he's seen. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say he was quite qualified for the three stitches I needed in my toe.

"Um, you guys are not helping," I said as I lay on the crisp white hospital bed, my husband corralling a tired Elijah nearby.

Owie :(

The doctor finished up and reported, "I've cut my foot on glass before, but never that bad." Um, thanks, doc.

Now, over a week later, my toe is healing up nicely. I'm pondering how God created our bodies to regenerate and to heal. It's amazing, really.

So, there you have it, this is what an adventure filled Tuesday looks like for us. I can tell you one thing, life is always interesting, always keeping me on my toes (oh, I crack myself up).

Also, I think I've had enough adventures for a little while, thankyouverymuch.

Four

elijahland@gmail.com (Lisa) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:43:48 PDT

Happy Birthday little dude. We're forever grateful that you are ours.