Divorce and Weather Patterns

I was talking with one of my clients in an off-scheduled call during my morning yoga routine.  She was distraught with emotion and we started making the analogy of how divorce can be described through  weather patterns.

We have EARTHQUAKES!  This is the initial shock that rocks our foundation, destroying what we’ve grown and built over the years.  We don’t know how much damage there is until we get underneath the structure.  Sometimes the structure can be rebuilt, and others it needs to be completely torn down or abandoned.  What do we learn from the earthquake?  The importance of a strong foundation that is built on honest and open communication, and true intimacy and vulnerability.  We learn the importance of creating a partnership from a foundation of shared values, hopes, and dreams.  We learn the importance of knowing ourselves deeply before getting into a relationship in the first place.  We learn the dangers of building our foundation on denial, resentments, and withheld communications.

We have TORNADOS!  These are the emotions that rip through us leaving us in a pile of rubble and not knowing how to clean up the mess.  Sometimes, we don’t even know where to start.  This is when we need to call in Red Cross!  Get help from people who know the terrain and has access to the federal emergency fund.  This is where you employ the support of friends to hold you when you cry and therapists, and coaches who have your back and help you navigate the emotional waters of divorce so you come out the other side empowered and ready to move on with confidence.

While grief is anything but linear, we’re highly trained and have experience and expertise in helping you reinvent your life after divorce or breakup.

We have FLOODS and Wild Winter Storms!  These are the endless tears of grief that envelop us as we begin the process of letting to and accepting our loss.  It can be very difficult to let go, even if we know it’s the right thing for us.  We grieve the loss of an intact family, we grieve the loss of companionship, we grieve the loss of friends and family, and we grieve the loss of our hopes and dreams for a happy family.

“You cannot heal what you cannot feel,” is a motto I live by.  While denial is an active component of the 5 stages of grief that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified, sweeping your feelings under the rug or pretending you’re okay will only prolong the grieving process.  Your birthright is to feel!  While it may seem you will go out of control or that you will go so deep you won’t come back, if you give yourself permission to feel fully, then you will come out the other side feeling cleansed and renewed – just like the day after a huge thunderstorm.  If you’ve ever been in one, you know the quality of freshness and aliveness is tangible – and delicious!

We have GLOBAL WARMING! – more commonly known as Hot Flashes!  Yes, divorce is compounded when you’re in your forties and fifties, because many of us questions our attractiveness and F*#%ability.   We question our value and ability to attract a partner.  Our bodies are changing!  Our emotions and even our sleep patterns are affected by menopause.  A friend of mine said that menopause means, MEN – o – PAUSE – and while she claims it’s a time to take a pause from men, I say it’s a time to Reclaim Yourself!  Pay attention to the interconnectedness of your inner and outer experiences.  Take the time to delve deeply into your belief system and become internally referenced.  Let go of patterns of self-sabotage, limiting beliefs and ways of thinking, and embrace your authentic core essence of who you are!

We have the RAINBOW!  Divorce is the perfect catastrophic life event to give birth yourself!  It’s a golden opportunity to learn who you are and to commit to a consciously created life of your choosing.  There is live beyond divorce, and more often than not the struggles immediately following divorce can bring you a better life.  Imagine the rainbow and remember the promise of hope and renewal of life after the destruction!  You can do it!  You will get through it!  And you don’t have to do it alone!

This is where Spiritual Divorce and my Reclaim Yourself After Divorce process help.  First Spiritual Divorce helps remove the layers of shame and guilt as you learn and integrate universal spiritual laws that heal your heart and empower you to move on with confidence.  After you complete the one-on-one intensive Spiritual Divorce process or an online Study of Spiritual Divorce, then you can being the Reclaim Yourself Process and fall in love with yourself, regain your confidence, grow your self-esteem, and become the beloved you want to partner with.

Take your Reclaim Yourself After Divorce Assessment and schedule and take your first steps toward the pot of gold!

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3 Simple but powerful choices to help you Reinvent Your Life Today!

1.  Stop Before Making Unconscious Interpretations.  One of the most powerful choices we can make is in our interpretations.  We may not feel we have control over them, because we often are in reaction to the circumstances of our lives, but when we stop and take a step back we will clearly see our interpretations, not the circumstances we find ourselves in, are the source of our joy and our despair.  

We’re always interpreting.  We do it unconsciously all day long.  One person will interpret losing their job as the end of the world and another will interpret it as the opportunity they’ve been praying for.  I’m asking you to engage in an activity that brings consciousness to your thoughts in a way that will totally reinvent your life.

Do this simple journaling exercise to help you reinvent your life:  What are some of the most challenging circumstances of your past?  Choose 2-3 from 2012.  How are you interpreting these events?  Whose fault is it?  What did you lose as a result?  Contemplate: If you were to view these events as a gift  designed to evolve your soul, how would you describe them then?  What did you learn as a result?

2.  Look Back, Don’t Look Back!  All too often we look back and only see what’s missing.  It’s painful to not accomplish what we set out to or to have to acknowledge that we never really followed through with what we said we wanted to.  If we employ choice #1, then we won’t interpret our assessment as a negative, but as an opportunity to evolve.  Look back to take stock of your life and your accomplishments and identify what you want to create for your future, but don’t look back to beat yourself up – it will only get you more of the same.

Assessment plays an important roll in identifying the gap between where you’ve been and where you want to go.  The trick is to look back without making anything you discover mean anything about you.

3.  Live your life as if today were the last day AND as if you would live forever!  This conscious choice will allow you to both be spontaneous and open to the wonders of life and be responsible for planning and preparing for your future.  If you only life for today, then you will let yourself down because you won’t feel the need to grow and develop yourself.  If you live only for the future, then you will miss out on experiencing the joy and pleasure that life is supposed to be.

Make these 3 choices everyday and you will:

• Deepen your relationships with yourself and others
• Only do things that ultimately bring you personal joy and fulfillment
• Live in a state of appreciation and gratitude for the gift your life is
• Make a meaningful contribution in alignment with your passion.

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 “My Sacred Life Retreat” with Leila Reyes, CICP

Empowered women empower the world!

In my own journey with personal empowerment, I’ve experienced common issues that challenge our self-esteem, showing up in the form of depression, lack of fulfillment, and a settling for less than what we truly want for ourselves.  It’s been my personal mission to support you in reinventing your life, embracing your sacredness, taking full ownership of your life, and living an inspired and authentic expression of your heart.

I am inviting a few women to join me for a special, sacred, and intimate retreat weekend January 18^th – January 20^th to help you reinvent your life.  The focus of this weekend will be to deeply connect with yourself, to embrace your magnificence, and to be witnessed in claiming your deepest desires. I’m limiting this women’s circle to eight women, to deeply celebrate, honor, and acknowledge your Sacred Life; we will nurture, rejuvenate, and replenish our life force; we will vision for the coming year and witness each other in owning our dreams.

• Imagine being embraced by the elements of nature – rolling hills, beautiful trees, and the waters of the San Francisco Bay.

• Imagine taking the time to restore yourself with community, music, art, ritual, and taking the time to unplug, be still, and clear away whatever depletes you.

• Imagine having time to breathe, walk, laugh, explore and think about what is between you and where you want to be living your life fully and authentically.

• Imagine connecting with your inner source of strength, wisdom, creativity, and voice that we all have and experience a sense of peace and gratitude.

It’s time for sisterhood, for resting; for bodies, hearts and souls to stretch, dance and tend to themselves and each other.  It’s time for reverence, for sharing, for revealing and for listening; time for fresh air, for Mother Nature, for honesty and honoring.  It is time to unburden ourselves and leave feeling lighter, with a sense of clarity, peace, and well-being. 

I’ve come to know that it’s people – and our relationship is one of those sacred relationships that change the world. I’m honored that you’ve entrusted me with your heart; the witnessing of your transformation has been a beautiful gift that I value immensely.  Join me for the next step in taking ownership of your authentic life.

Since this is an intimate gathering, you will need to complete the life assessment and have an intake session with me to be considered for the weekend.  Sign up on the right to take the assessment and schedule your session the first week in January.

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Let Your Wisdom Flow

“Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack”  (Henry Miller).   When we’re in the midst of a difficult life event, like a relationship breakup, we can often feel disconnected and alone.  When the messages our body has for us go unheard, we will experience unnecessary heartache and can even create disease in our body.  Nobody wants that!  But we can keep cycling through the emotional hamster wheel of pain.  Freeing ourselves from emotional pain is easier when we’re deeply connected with our bodies and are willing to listen to its message.

It is in connecting deeply with our body that we will make sense of our emotions and get out of our self-created cage.  As we grow our body awareness, we will make better decisions for our future and cultivate the joy – even in the midst of pain and loss.

100 Ways to Connect

Join in our discussion on the different ways to connect to our bodies.  I’ll share some of the basics, but I’d love to hear from you, too.  Share your experience with any of these, or ask questions if you need an explanation of any of these.  These activities can be done without connecting with your body, so do them as part of a conscious practice to raise your awareness.

1. Conscious Breathing
2. Start a meditation practice
3. Exercise
4. Laugh!  Have you ever heard of laughing yoga?
5. Take a walk
6. Jumping Jacks
7. Swim
8. Look in the mirror for 20 minutes per day – acknowledge your magnificence
9. Get enough sleep
10. Stretch
11. Take 5 minutes each morning and thank a different part of your body

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Relationship Breakup & Unfulfilled Purpose

Many people come here to reconnect with their passions and to find meaning and purpose in a life well lived.  When going through a relationship breakup up our sense of purpose can be deeply affected.  We can be thrown off course when our relationships are in transition. We can lose productivity and focus and direction.  If we’re experiencing a relationship transition during the holidays, it can be particularly challenging.  ….such a happy time and we’re not happy!

There are 3 simple steps to a purpose-filled relationship breakup that can bring you some joy in your heartache.  I can help you pick up the pieces one small step at a time and totally reinvent your life.  I’ve been through a relationship breakup during the holidays and so I know what it takes to come home to yourself, reconnect with your joy, and get back on track to a delicious life, and I’ve started a 6-week free course, so we can take those first few steps together!  Come over to Divine Purpose Unleashed on Facebook, and take the challenge with me.  Here’s what my friend, Marci Shimoff, the author of Happy For No Reason has to say about the course:

FINDING PURPOSE In Your Relationship Breakup

The deepest work we can do is around our relationships – whether it’s with ourselves, a significant other, or with a colleague – relationships grow us!  And this growth will lead us directly to living what matters most to us.  Going through a relationship breakup is a powerful time  for self-reflection and personal growth.  I’ll help you find a little joy during this holiday season, and if you want to find the purpose in your relationship breakup, I can help with that too!  Simply take the Life Purpose Assessment on the right, include your phone number, and we’ll schedule a complimentary session.

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Waking up to the images of the destruction of Super Storm Sandy has inspired me to host a Community Call today at 2pm pacific.  You can sign up for the virtual gathering here.

Destruction and Loss Informs

I remember the Loma Prieta earthquake October 17, 1989 during a warm-up game with the Oakland A’s and the San Francisco Giants .  I was living in northern California, 4 months pregnant with my first child.  The shock was so strong that I braced myself in a doorway – which is customary in earthquake country.  I knew this was closer, and bigger, than anything I had lived through.  We almost lost one of our homes.  Our 3-story Victorian home in San Jose had to be propped up with posts.  I didn’t know they made them that big.

Super Storm Sandy is bringing back feelings of helplessness.  In the past, “There’s nothing I can do!” was the prevailing thought.  Our Community Call today at 2pm pacific is the most powerful action I can take in this moment.  I’m also reminded of the impact of Inner-Storms!

What are your Inner-Storms?

In today’s world, inner storms are our economic crisis, job loss, relationship failure, and lack of meaning and purpose for our lives.  Certainly if we had a strong sense of meaning and purpose – independent  of what we do, then our inner-storms wouldn’t devastate us so.

Inner-Storms invite evolution!   They call you to look at your patterns, they give you opportunities to grow, and they have the power to show you what you’re made of.  If you face your inner-storms, and have the courage to look at the mess you’ve co-created, then you have bought yourself a ticket to the life you’ve only dreamed of.  After a loss, you have the choice to re-build.  Will you build on the same foundation, or will you build a more solid foundation taking into account all you’ve learned?

How?
In what ways will you grow from your inner-storms?

How will you reinvent your life in the aftermath of a personal destruction? a loss of power, relationship, or incentive?

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GET SUPPORT!

In a relational world, you can’t do anything alone.  It’s impossible!  and yet, you might feel alone.  This is very common!  In my years of coaching, I’ve learned that the belief that you have to do it all alone impedes you from harnessing the co-creative power of the universe to manifest anything.  Your belief is followed by actions, like not asking for help or not investing in services that would ensure yours success.

Support is a vital ingredient to your success and it’s all around you, and all you have to do is look for it!  You will find different types of support in your personal and professional circles and they can be a great source for you.  However, they aren’t always the right support because they have a pre-determined experience of you based on familiarity.  Coaches are specifically trained to be objective and may be the most catalyzing support available.

Create a BIG support system!

Take a few minutes to identify your support system.

• Who inspires you?
• Who can you share your dreams with, without feeling judged?
• Who you can ask to be your cheerleaders?
• What classes would be supportive to your excellence?
• What professional support do you need?

I want to be an integral part of your support system to help you manifest your Gold Medal Life and so I’ve created a 10-week coaching program to make it affordable and effective in helping you.  You can read more about your Gold Medal Life here.

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Assessment!  Assessment!  Assessment!

When coaches work with Gold Medal hopefuls, they are constantly assessing and then they implement a strategic plan to WIN – to be The Best!

You can do this too!  You can be the BEST YOU ever and it starts with an honest assessment of where you currently are in your life and where you’d like to be.  You don’t have to compete with anyone – except yourself and any mediocrity you settled for.

Here’s how:

The more honest you can be with yourself, the bigger the impact this exercise can have on your ability to create a Gold Medal Life.  An in-depth assessment is extremely empowering, and this is a taste.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. What are your top three personal strengths?
2. What are three things you’d most like to change about yourself?
3. Make a list of five things you feel are incomplete in your life.  These can be communications, projects, experiences you’d like to have – anything that you feel is incomplete.
4. What are your top three self-sabotaging behaviors?
   

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GOLD MEDAL WISDOM

I LOVE the Olympics!  The close of the 2012 Olympics inspired me to ask, “What does it take to live a GOLD MEDAL Life?  What a thrill to hold a Gold Medal and know you gave it your all – and WON!  What an empowering experience to be fully invested in what matters most to you.

Even though you’re not in ‘competition’ with anyone except yourself, I’m thrilled to share what I’ve learned about how a silver or bronze just won’t cut it.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to share several actions you can take to ensure you live a GOLD MEDAL Life!  Please join me in taking the actions I suggest and sharing your experience here.

FRUSTRATION OR FULFILLMENT?

Many people feel frustrated with the lack of fulfillment they experience in at least one area of their life.  This frustration can evolve into anxiety and depression.  It can snowball effecting your self-esteem, your happiness, your relationships, and even your health.

You can lose your standing on the podium (a disaster to any Olympian) when your willingness to put yourself into your own life is compromised.  You might experience a giving up or settling for less than the Gold Medal life you want.  This is a vicious cycle and you can lose touch with essence of who you are – you can lose touch with yourself and why you’re here.  Disastrous!

TIP #1  – GET INTO A CREATIVE SPACE

1. Make a list of 100 things you can do that move you, inspire you, or get your creative juices going.  If you can’t think of 100, then remember back to your childhood.  Ask friends, family, or co-workers what they do to get their creative juices flowing.
2. Choose at least 3 items on your list that you are willing to take action on during the next week.
3. Share some of the items on your list and what action you take.

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