Diary of an Extreme Cowgirl

America's Next top Model

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 22:58:00 +0000

No I am not going to be on the show lol not tall enough lol
But I do work on Film and Tv in the SF Bay area. A friend called me up to see if I was feeling up to working as a Production Assistant on American Next Top Model.

The show is having open casting calls at the Westin Hotel in San Francisco, Ca.

I will be in charge of making sure all the applicants have all the paper work filled out, Photos and copies of identification. Paper clips, staples, Skinny girls oh my.

My movie buddie picked me up and were are off to SF at about 5 am

It is pouring down rain and there is a line around the hotel 2 times. Oh boy this is going to be a long day.

Thankfully I am working inside all day :)
I do feel sorry for the guys outside handing out applications to those that did not print them out at home.

So as the potential models come in, they are told to sit in our waiting area. This area is filled with chairs, about 400 chairs. I believe we refilled this area at least 15 times throughout the day.

I then went row by row.
"Ok this row, please pass me your completed applications and photos, do not hand me any photos you won't let us keep"

Then I stapled the photos to the application. Do you have any idea how many times I was asked "when do we get our pictures back?" or they actually handed me their Social Security card..... Duh.... I also was asked a million times "which photos should I use" to which I would reply "I can not pick for you, use the photos that you think show who you are at your best" ...

I think at the time this was taken I had processed about 1000 models.. my brain had gone on vacation lol

Though I have to say, I think I look good for just out of a neck brace :)

For a while I got to be in the casting room with the film crew. Where each girl was asked a few questions on camera and height measured. Yes we made them take off their shoes and measured.

It was a ton of fun hanging out with my film crew buddies.

But wow was I tired
There is talk going around about two TV shows coming to the bay area..
Hope so because this may be the only work I will get. My buddies will look past the neck and give me a chance.

But no more stunts for me :(

Adventure in Chinatown

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 05:21:00 +0000

Or adventures out of a neck brace. For an almost paralyzed person even though I was a quadriplegic for only about 24 hours, anyone that has been paralyzed or close to it knows that any time walking or waving is a blessing and never to be taken for granted.

So... Saturday Feb 7 I had a big day. My new head shots seem to be doing wonders. Or producers want to see the girl that is indestructible because I have never had so many calls for auditions before so close together. I had 2 auditions on Saturday alone. I have another one for a feature film, speaking role, this coming Monday.

Because I still can't drive I took Bart. You have to love Bart in the Bay area. Its great and you don't have to worry about parking. So first audition was in Hayward, CA. Took Bart and walked 10 min to site. I rocked the audition and hope hope hope to get a call in a week or two. They have another round of auditions next weekend so have to wait. One of the guys auditioning for a rock star in the tv show was also filming a PSA in SF that afternoon and offered to drive me in so I didn't have to ride on Bart. Movie people are so nice, besides I knew him so don't worry I don't always get in strangers cars lol.

Second audition was in SF, I was 2 hours early lol but hey that's my reputation in the biz. Early and super helpful. I had to do a 3 monologue which I suck at but I did Ok. They sprung that bit on me the night before so they weren't expecting greatness. Whew. but on the cold reading I rocked as always, cold readings are acting a scene from the movie your auditioning for without seeing the script ahead of time.

After the auditions were over and I was walking to a Bart station I realize that the Chinese new year parade is that day. So the brilliant idea comes to me to walk to china town. lol well after walking right up Powell st which is up and up and up lol I realized I forgot where china town is lol But I found it in the end. I had fun looking at the shops, bought some food and shocked some Chinese people with my mad chopstick skills.

I have family that are from japan and china lol.. so picture this. An obvious non asian girl walking while eating Chinese food with chopsticks and wearing a back pack and a lasso rope coiled around my neck and shoulder. lol

one of the auditions was for a cowgirl that could rope so I brought my own lol.. The looks I got lol. awesome lol....

So walking back to Bart I see the parade and stop to watch Then rode Bart home and felt the beginnings of leg pain.

Well I thought I would be hurting, but the next day was super funny.

I realized that 4 months of forced relaxing can really make you out of shape lol
In the morning I stood up out of bed and hello.... I couldn't lol my legs went on strike. I couldn't straighten them because I over did the muscles in the back of them, But in the end I had a freakin awesome day. sorry that some pictures are out of focus. I forgot my camera, which is a rare thing, and my good camera phone broke so I had my old phone with me.

planning a funeral

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:12:00 +0000

We are planning the funeral for March.
So many people want to come and say goodbye.

Police have been stopping by all night and day to visit with the family.
People getting ready to retire are sharing stories with us of Grandpa when he was their mentor in the rookie years. He meant so much to many people.

All agree that the police force is a much different place now, but when grandpa was on the job he was very intimidating without having to do much yet still had a kind heart. He would give people a chance but he remembered everyone and you didn't get another free pass.

I miss him already. I have some auditions in a few days. Need to find a way to keep going.

Tragic Loss

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:49:00 +0000

Tonight the healthiest and most active person I know has passed away.
My Grand Father golfed every week and was at the Car Races every weekend as a Pit Crew Member. Yes you heard me. My 80 something grandpa was still out there in the pits putting race cars back to together.Always on the move and up for showing me how to fix my car or truck so I didn't spend a fortune at the repair shop.

I have learned so much from him. Replacing water pumps, breaks, break lines, cables, starter, fuel pump... you name it he showed me how to fix it. When my car would break, sure it annoyed me to no end, but it meant I got to hang out with grandpa.

There is too much about him to say right now.. Give me time.

A veteran of a war and local police force, His passing has come as a shock to everyone. A few wouldn't believe us. The local Racing world is in shock and speechless.

I for one lost it at the hospital. There I am standing there looking at what was my grandpa. I in my braces near screaming at the world.

I get a second life. I died and came back when many others in my place don't.

Grandpa is the second person I have lost, within weeks, that I believe deserved another life.

Why am I here?

He felt no pain from a brain aneurysm. We lost him in seconds.

Friday the 13th, surgery update

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 23:22:00 +0000

FREEDOM!!!

Doctor said I am done with follow ups but to come back if anything gets worse.
I got a copy of my x-rays and Mri's but man I can't understand what on earth it shows lol.
I am still healing faster then anyone thought possible. I will start my Physical Therapy soon. The insurance is being stupid, just not getting back to me on where I should go for PT.
He said I have no restrictions but with a few exceptions.. Ah how is that no restrictions lol

So still not allowed to:
drive for a few more months
Jump in horse jumping competitions for 6 more months ( no prob, wasn't planing on it for a while)
Dive for another 6months (shoot)

well I guess I can live with those lol
But I am allowed to RIDE my horse!

Yey!
But I do need to get my horse in shape before I ride anyway so not going to be in the saddle for another month or two. Poor horse has been just sitting around or being turnout for an hour all this time. So not fair to just jump on and go riding.

Plus I sold a lot of my tack including my saddles to make sure I could pay bill and have a horse boarding fund. Disability only paid $200/mo so that didn't help much.

So need to find the money to rebuy tack. Problem is that I need a special kind of saddle.
A Lynn McKenzie special tree saddle. It is made for horses with big shoulders.

I would have loved for my friend Melissa to be there for my first ride. I miss her

To lose a Friend

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:18:00 +0000

I can't believe I am writing this.
After 10 years I was reacquainted with a friend from high school, actually all the way back to elementary school, who helped me look at barns, talk to, visit, and share laughs. A person so happy with the new opportunities heading her way, love for her husband and daughter and the biggest heart for humans and animals has been taken from this earth.

On Dec 26th my friend Melissa passed away. It has sent shock waves through the area. She was so helpful to so many and friends all over that anyone hearing the news is just speechless. The comments on her myspace are all the same, shock and grief.

How could she not be here?

I still think the phone is about to ring with her on the other end to tell me more about her trip to San Diego with her family. She got to live a dream and swam with dolphins. She was there to attend a special conference to attain a certification to specialize in Equine vet assisting. She was excited to go there and was talking many friends, including me, to go to next years. So excited to start working as an assistant to a trainer at a very nice barn. Just excited to see what was coming next.

I just can't believe that someone so wonderful, full of life and hope for the future could just vanish in a heart beat.

I and many many others will miss you Melissa. But I will never forget your hope and huge heart for all things living.

Thank you Melissa for being a friend. A wonderful unyielding friend.

A bird a Plane, nope a Car Crash

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 23:16:00 +0000

So thanksgiving is coming up. Things seem to be going well.

Horses are going to be moved to new full care places I trust. Long story, but good news is true friends have helped me find full care places for them that I can afford. You just wouldn't believe the weirdness going on with people. You just have to shake your head and do whats right, even if other people seem to be on another planet.

I am moving around alot better. Left arm is just about normal, no more drunkin arm lol.
My brother is doing great too. Weaker but better. He was in the hospital for about a week. High fevers and pain. I teased about him being a football player needing all the pain meds and little ole me with broken neck didn't need any.. All in good humor

So foreboding feeling all gone or was it..hhhhmmm...

I am staying with one set of grandparents. Actually both sets are within blocks of each other so I see my other grandparents often.

Well my grandma, one I am staying with, has a sister that is in poor health and can't cook big meals. So grandma makes a full turkey dinner and then makes nice packets that can be reheated or frozen for later. Every year a few weeks before thanksgiving they take my Aunt, grandmas sister, the packets for her Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner as well as her gifts.

Nov 14, 2008 We drove up to clear lake, CA which is in the pretty forest hills of the Napa valley for a visit. Long car ride for me but I brought fluffy pillows and a book. I tested the pillows when we got to calistoga. For some reason I had this feeling I needed to find a way to lay down on the bench seat in the middle of the mini van while wearing a seat belt. Took a bit but I found a comfy way to do it and be safe.

We had our visit and was on the way back. In calistoga again my grandma talks about a few years back how on the way to my aunts house with that years dinner they were at a stop light and was rear ended by a pick up. The van took the hit well but needed some repairing but the truck needed to be towed away on a flat bed.

At that point I had the need to lay down. So I get situated with the pillow and the seat belt.

about 40 min later, we were stopped at the major intersection, that feels in the middle of no where, by sears point and American canyon, CA when that feeling hit hard.

Something is coming, go limp. Almost a pressure coming down on me. Was about to say something like look out when WHAM!!!!!

A full size 2007-08 chevy truck hits us about 30-40 mph. We hit the car in front of us and they hit the one in front of them. You can hear car parts scattering across the road/highway as other cars drive over them.

I ask grandparents "are you ok?"

They say yes but are more worried about me. I feel just great. The fluffy pillow held me in place and the seat belt kept me on the seat. It was the perfect place for me to be in that kind of accident.

By the time I got out of the car my grandpa is talking to the truck driver and the lady in front of us is still talking to the guy she hit. I found the camera and started taking pictures in the dark of the car we hit and the truck. OMG the truck!

It was smashed but the little mini van was like a tank. just a dent, a big one, but that's it!

The car we hit was nothing other then a little scratch.

The truck driver turns out to be a 16-17 yr old driver that just got his licence 3 weeks ago.

He is a wreck, not hurt but just emotionally distraught. His first accident and his truck is gonna need to be towed with a flat bed. He was so shaken that he couldn't talk to his mom on the phone. He handed it too me and I talked to his mom.

I told her that no one was hurt and that the truck was really bad but her son was ok just over come with shock. She is on her way and we try to calm the poor kid. The fire fighters arrive and start talking to every one to see if anyone was hurt, Grandma may have a bit of whip lash. When one walked up to me he looked around and said, "how did the EMTs beat us here?"

I realize he saw my neck brace and I said. "oh no I had this before the accident"

He asked if I was ok and I said yes. We laughed as the next fire fighter came and said the same thing. I then said "oh no I just come prepared" lol

EMTs arrive and they look at me and say "When did the fire fighters start carrying C-spine braces" lol I explained to them my accident and they are shocked I am not hurt. When I told them how I was laying down in the van with the belt on they told me "That was perfect. If you had been sitting up you could be back in the hospital right now worse off"

So the tow truck comes and tows the poor kids truck away. The front right tire seems to be broke off from the axle. We are in the van which is fine other then the dent in the back door and the girl we hit, who had left before the police arrived, said she didn't care about the scratch.

Grandpa wants to get rid of the van, its been rear ended at stop lights 3 times now. I said no way. That's a little tank. It took that hit like it was nothing. Its the safest mini van ever! lol

But I can't help but wonder what is out there that seems to be playing with me.

Did you notice the date. This happened one month to the day of my accident, off by only 2 hours.
"What may seem like a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the steps of a journey"

Is this the start of some huge strange journey, What is coming my way next?

Surgery Update, and I rode my horse!

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 22:40:00 +0000

Ha ha! kidding . I am not allowed to ride till spring.

I rode a coin operated horse that I have had for over 25 years. I repainted it a few years ago. But it is my horse though.

Well I am exceeding expectations, by alot. for those that don't know I was injured during diving practice and broke my neck after hitting the board. I am very lucky to have been taken out of the water safely and had a specialist surgeon put me back together.

But I have to wear this neck brace for another 6 weeks at least. I know, don't rush.

It also means I can't drive for 6 weeks. which means withdrawing from all classes which I was kickin butt in. I was so excited to go back to classes.

I wore one of those headbands with bats that are on those springs. I think they are called boppers or something.

Docs and nurses loved it lol.. They also kept saying I was a walking miracle cause they have yet to have a trauma as bad as mine just up and walk out.

I think its the stubborn cowgirl side in me. I am cowgirl tuff.

Oh and the patches of muted feeling will go away in time. They said its normal. After the appointment we went to the school to talk to teachers.. sheesh I guess everyone takes friday off argh.. but I went to see my swim coach. The dive coach is only there tues and thurs so I will have to hitch a ride up another time to hug him. Swim coach tells me my dive coach has taken this really hard. Turns out in the 20 plus years of his coaching, and we are talking big time divers. He is also 2008 coach of the year. but back to what I was saying. In 20+ years I am only the 4th student to get hurt, and no one was as hurt I was. Even in his own diving carrier he was hurt but only broken hand, nose etc.

I am sure anyone there watching was horrified. When I came into the pool area and the swim coach saw me walking to him he had this look of stunned belief. I know they were told I was going to fine but I think seeing is believing so I need to go see the dive team and coach to let them see that I am A OK The looks on peoples faces was fitting for Halloween. like I was a ghost walking by. that's how bad I was hurt. no one really had a good feeling that I was going to comeback whole.

Never count a cowgirl out but I have to admit that when they pulled me out of the water, and while floating in the water, I had bad thoughts too. When I got the tingly feelings I knew there was hope but I also knew that the fight was just starting.

I am so lucky that roseville has an amazing trauma and neuro team. they are amazing and all my follow ups are with the actual surgeons that worked on me.and lets face it.. every person that did anything that day has a huge part to play in me being here and moving. to read more about what happened see "Life is Short" .I was wheeled into the ER as a quadriplegic, BUT I WALKED OUT!!!:)

Note: Read "Life is Short" for full story on what happened

Out of the wood works

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 01:20:00 +0000

Well its been interesting.

True friends and old friends seem to come out of the wood works when something bad happens to a friend. It does not matter if you saw them just hours before or haven't seen them for over 10 years. True friends will come to help.

Even strangers from horsecity.com and other chat boards have offered help and boarding if needed.

Unfortunately people you thought were friends or appreciated your work and help you have given also let themselves be known.

When this happens just let the bad go and appreciate the good that comes your way.

I could dish out how I was shoved out of the barn I was working and paying board at but the important thing is I have the credit card proof my horses feed and care were paid for while I was in the hospital and for an additional 40+ days but they will be moved to new full care barns I trust around the 15th of November. Transportation is being arranged as well as a new home for one of my horses.

How on earth could I find new barns I can afford while still on house rest and needing assistance?

Well that is were the people from all over come in. They know who they are but I will point out a few.

First a huge thank you to my chauffeur and friend from high school, haven't seen in 10 years, Melissa F. She called to check up on me after reading on a chat board about my accident and when told of barn issues she was on her way and drove me all over contra costa county looking at barns. After negotiating a few places I found a great hole in the wall place with an arena, trail access right out the back gate and a hot walker for only $330/mo for a stud. Pretty cheap for the San Francisco bay area. And get this, I knew the owners from 4-H and its only a mile from where I am staying. I can't wait to get to know her again after all these years.

Thank you to Wendy a friend for at least 5 years both from the Internet as well as my annual Battle of the Barns team. She helped me find a place for my other two horses. A friend of hers just bought a foreclosed horse property that has a 16 stall barn. They have offered to board my 31 yr old TB cross and my 3yr old paint gelding for $150/mo each. Pretty nice. And they are very experienced with other TB horses that are hard to keep weight on. Wendy vouches for her and that says alot to me.

Huge thank you to Sandra. She has kept me from going nutts worrying about how to move the horses and to keep the peace. Ah serenity now! I will never be able to thank her enough but I will try.

My mare Bella will be going to a new home that I trust as well. They are arranging transport hopefully about Nov 15th. I will miss her but this is best for her. She loves attention and is super sweet and I can't have her just sitting being lonely.

Fate is stalking

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:23:00 +0000

Fate or something worse is stalking. You can almost feel it, or I can.

One week to the hour that I was rushed to the hospital fully paralyzed and system crashing, My 17 yr old brother is carried by my dad into the ER.

Ruptured appendix and on the way to septic.

He had not been feeling well for days. For some reason I kept thinking appendix but what do I know other then its bad.

The family once again is gathered in the lobby of a hospital waiting to hear from the surgeon on how bad it was in surgery. The Doctor came back down at about 2am I think to tell us he thinks he got all of the leaked fluid as well as the appendix out. Time will tell. If he gets super sick then we know that not all of the fluid was taken out. This is a potential death sentence.

The doctors saw me in my neck brake and said "wow you guys like hospitals, what happened".

When he was told he asked was it an ACSF surgery? I said I think that's what it was called. and then asked "you were paralyzed before surgery?" Yes.

"You are one lucky person the be walking right now"

They say things come in three's... who's next?

all I keep hearing is "Something wicked this way Comes"

Is fate done with me(us) or just getting started?

Life is short!

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 02:27:00 +0000

Some people might know already but on tuesday oct 14th I was rushed to sutter roseville trauma center.

I was at school having my college springboard diving team practice. It was almost over and we could practice any dive we wanted. So I got on the board and did a dive I have done for years, a plain back flip.

Something went wrong in the takeoff. I hit my head on the board. I remember hitting my head. then remember being in the water looking up and seeing a cloud of red. I thought "Oh crap, this is not good"

I tried to swim up and found that I could not move arms or legs. Now I thought "Oh holy crap, this is really not good" and kept telling myself "hold your breath, hold your breath".

Time slowed so how long I was in the water I don't know but I did float at the top and a wave pushed me over a bit and I took a huge breath and looked at the first set of eyes to say "help". I saw my coach and the look on his face is frozen in my head. Horror is what I saw.

The next thing I know I am under the water again with a lot of people swimming to me from all over the dive pool. Members of the water polo team and or the master swim team came running from the swim pool and jumped in after me. when they got my head up to breath I kept saying "neck, neck, neck,neck I can't move". They lifted me out of the water using spinal cord management rescue skills, and 911 was already called by my coach.

3 emt students were in my dive team and water polo team so I was in good hands. they kept asking me to wiggle toes or fingers but for a good while I couldn't. For a horse person or any active sport person knowing your neck is most likely snapped and you can't move is the most teriffing thing ever to face. What am I going to do.

I started getting tinggly feelings all over, which was a good sign. I could feel things and people touching me but the feeling is so hard to describe for you. It was just the weirdest thing ever. as I was loaded in the ambulance I could wiggle toes and squeeze a bit with both hands. I was also giving out phone numbers to get word out.

my mom was on the line and wanted to talk to me. They had not told her how bad I was just that I had a bad accident on the board. She was worried I wouldn't be able to afford the short ride to the hospital. I told her "mom, I really need to go now mom" the paramedic took the phone and said "I am sorry to say it like this mam, but your daughter it paralyzed right now and she needs to go asap."
6 min later I arrive at the er. wonderfully people. I was freezing, but that was good to me because I could feel it :) but the had to cut my favorite brand new suit :( I know I know small price.

Poor girls were trying so hard to get IV's in but my veins were just gone from cold and shock. Had the full range of x-rays, cat scans and mri's. Getting the mri they tried to put ear plugs in because it is so loud but my ears are small and they kept coming out. I told them it was ok the sound won't bother me. And I was right, I even had a lil nap all wrapped up in heated blankets.

I was wheeled into my room and sometime later my mom, step dad, dad, grandparents, sister,and others arrived. Still a lil fuzzy on who was where and when :) but hey I had a hole in my head so I have a good reason lol.

I remember the neurosurgeon coming in and saying I had to have surgery asap. I also remember that pain meds do not work well for me. Instant reactions to anything they tried so no pain meds for me. I even had the same problem when they gave me potassium. It burned so bad in my arm.
The surgen showed us the mri's and pointed out that my C3 disk was actually cutting my spinal cord. Without surgery I was guaranteed to be paralyzed with the very neck bump, even a small bump or turn of my head would finish the damage. So surgery was a go.

I have always had a high tolerance for pain but this really showed my so called talent. With little to no pain meds I was somehow able to turn it off. I kept falling asleep but seemed to be in little to no pain. Except for the times I was having reactions to meds. I was on a anti-inflammatory steroid that also was giving me issues but I had to have it to keep my spinal cord area from swelling and cutting more. So I was given it as slowly as my body would allow it.

Wednesday morning the adventure on how to explain where my car was parked and where my locker was over the phone. I told them locker 139. I had no idea that each row had the same numbers and there were letters in the number too lol.. but they got it and found my car. I figured that would be the hardest to explain because I parked in a lil hidden lot because people forget about those spots and they are right next to where my first and last class are.

Wednesday a friend from one of my horse chat boards, as well as a myspace buddy, came and brought a poster with lots of pictures of me riding and below the pictures was "all these horses and you hurt your head on a diving board" lol that was funny.

Now I have to tell you that my humor and joke cracking was at an all time high through this but I was terrified. Surgery where they cut your neck open, shove your throat over and mess with your spine, one wrong move and its over. Horrible feeling.

the surgery went great. the first thing I remember saying was, "can I have water now" and "am I ok".. I had not been allowed to have anything to drink from the moment I entered the Er so that was on Tuesday about 6pm and surgery was late Wednesday. I am told now about some other supper funny things like... my sister said "you look great, they must have done lipo too cause your thin" I responded with "awesome"

the surgeon told me and my family, but they remember better then me, that at first she thought that some of the damage could have been from the years of horses but once she got in there it was 100% from the board and the x-rays and mri's didn't really show how bad it really was. If I had not had the surgery it was only a matter of time till one tiny bump snapped it the rest of the way. surgery was the only logical option even though 2 of the out comes were just as bad or worse. Death or paralyzed anyway.

Thursday I woke up at about 4am and my dad was asleep in a chair. He just about shot out of the chair when I called his name. I asked for water and he got it. Yey! Water!!! They had me in a sea of pillows on my side. but at least I could see the tv now :) I turned it on and guess what. A movie that my dad and I liked to watch together. "Cool Runnings" talk about an underdog story to tell me that the odds may be against me but that doesn't mean I will be counted out. I asked dad to move his chair over to the side of the bed I was on so he could watch the movie with me.

Also on Thursday they had me up and trying to walk, I have sea legs but they work!!!!!

My right arm is fine with a little tingelies at the shoulder but my left arm feels like a log. I have strength in it and can move it but its sluggish. turns out when I hit the board I crushed some thing that goes to that arm. they tell me it should go away in time I just have to keep using it.

At about 7:30am on Thursday it was back to college... for my dad lol.. he went to my classes to try to talk to my teachers. The first class had a canceled tag on the door. argh and that was the class I really needed him to talk too. but the next class was my computer class and I thought my dad and my teacher would hit it off and they did. from the sound of it they had a great morning.

Dad had to get back to the bay area, where my whole family is. My grandparents, aunt and cousin came to visit :) later a friend came and stayed for a while. He also delivered so food for my horses for me to where they are boarded :)

Friday my other grandparents came and took me home.
So here I am, staying at family's house and I am not allowed near a horse or pool for 6 months :(
but I am ok, I think. Just scared of doing anything to mess this up. I looked right into my worst nightmare as a horse person, a para or quadriplegic. And to go along with my murphys law luck Tuesday as I was being sent to the ER "Target" left me a message wanting to offer me a job :(
sure now you call.

I had visitors everyday, and I can't thank everyone enough for letting me know that I do matter to many people. Being wheeled through a hospital in braces and paralyzed is the loneliest moments you will ever feel. Staring up at the sealing as the lights and sealing tiles go by, knowing that there is a possibility that this will the the view from now on. Oh course me being the smart butt I am I asked the nurse. "hey where's the plasma screen tv for the sealing" :)
but all the while shoving my horror and terrified thoughts as deep as possible.

I am so lucky. so many things could have gone wrong at any moment.

"What might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may, in-fact be the first steps of a journey"

oh and for anyone who has had to live with a neck brace for a period of time, How on earth did you find a comphy way to sleep??? sheesh....

I will be updating this with more info as I remember or find horrid spelling mistakes :)

Now to arrange for my horses care. If I can't do anything with them then I need to make sure they are going to get turnout and other things they will need. Sigh

Mischief's 3rd Birthday!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Wed, 14 May 2008 06:00:00 +0000

My lil Mischief turned 3 today.
Here is a slide show of his birthday photoshoot.

amazing recovery
Weight 900lbs
height 14.2

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I am the new Apprentice!

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:18:00 +0000

Ah no I didn't join Trumps new show lol

But Presicion Training likes what they see in me and have offered me an apprentice spot at the ranch.

I will be helping with the horses and learning more about the high end paint and quarter horse show world :)

something I always wanted to do.

They are even building me an appartment so I don't have to drive 2 hours one way.

So I am moving to the pretty foothills :)
My 3 other horses joined mischief there and its a famliy reunion :)

Yey, Play Time!!

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:41:00 +0000

Saturday Mischief got to play free in the round pen for the first time after major colic surgery.

He had a blast!
Jumping and playing.

I have video but the sound is really loud and can't figure out how to edit it out.

he hit the 800 lb mark and is now 14.1 hands :)

Job set back :(

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:13:00 +0000

well I had a job with UC Davis Med center in Auburn, CA.
That is the job I talked about in my tuff 2007 post.

Well, cutbacks needed to happend and the old saying of "Last one hired, First on fired"... well I was laid off not fired :(

but I was told that my chances of coming back were very small :(
It took so long to get that job.
The jobs are hard to find that pay enough to live off of.

well I will start my Job search tomorrow :(

but maybe I can find one in placerville and I can move there, it is so beautiful there. Peacefull, I smile all the time.

April Update

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 05:37:00 +0000

He is acting like the the old lil mischievious horse I knew :)
He is feeling so good he likes to jump around in his stall.

He will be able to play in the round pen or turnout next month.
I am following the time line given to me no matter how good he feels lol..
I swear if he can figure it out he will start doing cart wheels soon :)

April 8th
weight 785 up 45 lbs
height 14

March Update :)

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 05:17:00 +0000

well one month after leaving the hospital he has gained a bunch of weight and growing like a weed..

let's recap a bit though:

rushed to hospital on feb 14
weight 625
height 13.2 hands

surgery on feb 17
50lbs of dirt removed
weight 575
height 13.2

released from hospital feb 29 (leap year, a day that does not usually exsist )
weight 635 up 60 lbs
height 13.2

march 27
weight 740 up 105 lbs
height 14

Released from the hospital!

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 06:33:00 +0000

yep on leap year.
He was released today and is now at a trainig barn in Placerville, Ca.
A friend offered to pay for a few month board at a nice place that can cover all his meds.

So, he is settled in his stall at Presicion Horse Training :)

No Drain :)

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 06:14:00 +0000

They ended up not putting in the drain the other day.
His fever came down but there is an infection near the incision.
They didn't want to accidentally spread that infection closer to the colon, but because the temp came down they wanted to give him another 24 hours to kick it himself.

They took one or two staples out and it was draining a bit from that.
Yesterday his fever was normal, 98, lowest its been since before this whole thing started.
So if he can keep this up it would be great. He is still eating well and his poops are starting to be normal round clumps.

I think I have ulcers now lol.
Yesterday I was in so much pain, Migraine and upset stomach.
Sick when eating, sick when not. Just didn't feel good.

Today I feel a bit better but haven't been able eat since yesterday morning.
I will see him tomorrow.
They should be calling me soon with todays update.
I am usually there everyday to walk him.

Still not out of the woods

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 06:10:00 +0000

Well he is not out of the woods yet.
I just got off the phone with the vet a second ago.
I couldn't go see him today cause I have a tire blow out.

Yesterday they ultrosounded him again, he keeps running a fever. low but still there.
It showed no real infection but something is buggin him.
They are putting in a drain right now, because they believe he has fluid in there that is leaking from his colon.

The drain should help clear that out. He is still eating and pooping though, which I am told are good signs.

He loves his hay and fresh grass by the barn. I walk him around abit and graze him about 5 min a day. I believe the techs do some too.
So keep the prayers coming, we both need it.

I think I am going to have a heart attach before this is all over, just so scared.

Sand Colic 101

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 06:02:00 +0000

Today I asked about if it was a good idea to treat horses for sand even if you think they don't need it.

They said yes. There are many things you can do.
The problem with sand is that it can just sit there, and clear slowly or not at all.
You can't tell without an xray, but to have a program where every once in a while to do sand clear can help.

Its not the beat all end all solution but it helps.
Mischief would eat and then poop, but the sand/dirt settled to the bottom and just sat there like a beach.

Some horses will start to get a taste for dirt and will eat it. but they think he is not one of those.

They did say that there is dirt and sand in hay, grass, pastures etc. Horses can get it everywhere and depending on the horse will determine if its a problem or not.
So much to learn... argh..

I just wanted to get the word out the sand colic can happen to any horse even when you don't think it can.
A hard lesson.

You don't know you have a problem horse until its almost too late. I got lucky. I will be treating my other horses with sand clear or pyllenium soon, just in case.

The main thing I learned is, Sand is dirt and dirt is sand.

The Day After

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 06:46:00 +0000

Ok so today I am so happy I could just cry.

When I came to visit he was bright eyed, happy to see me and terrorizing his feed bucket lol

The techs pulled alfalfa leaves out of the flakes and filled a few buckets then they got a ton of fresh long grass and soaked it in water.

Then they sprinkle the alfalfa leaves on top to get him to eat both. Well hes wise to that and is picking the leaves out first lol...

There were some complications during surgery but so far so good.

His colon tore 3 times while moving it during surgery. Most times, even in humans, a torn or nicked colon is a death sentence. Let's hope that Mischief keeps up the good luck.

Oh, it turns out that he did not have just 5 inches of dirt, it was 50 lbs or dirt!

When they realized that it was much worse then expected they have to make his incesion bigger.

Yes, we got really lucky.

My friend took the pictures, but she caught one of the rare moments when I was not grinning ear to ear

Surgery is a go!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 01:00:00 +0000

I came to a payment agreement with the Hospital.
All Hail Loomis Basin Equine Hospital!!!!

UCdavis would not see him without a huge deposit. You heard me, Would not even see him.

Loomis basin is very friendly and understanding that most people can't pull 5000+ out of the back pocket.

But back to the subject.

at 6pm the surgery will begin.
I emptied my back accounts to pay the surgens fees.
Wish "Mischief" Luck...

A hard lesson learned...

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 17:22:00 +0000

I wish I could say that 2008 has been better, but for a while now I have been noticing my lil 2 yr gelding has not been right.

Most people just said it was from growing or just boared.
But I kept having a nagging feeling something was wrong.

Last week it became very clear I was right.
My lil guy lost half his body weight in the span of 1 week, but he was still eating.

On Feb 14, Valentines Day, I barrowed a rig and rushed him to the equine hospital, Loomis Basin Equine Hospital, with pictures of him the week before to show that I am not crazy, something is wrong.

They found 5 inches of sand/dirt in his colon. 5 inches. They think he got it during the summer, and it was not emptying but his system coaped with it till now.

they put him on IV and meds, he perked up
3 days of Mineral oil and psyllium to pass the sand.

Todays update

He is not passing the sand fast enough.
The colon in so full it is displaced to the right side and it can't empty well enough and thats why he started to go downhill fast.

Unfortunately that downhill spiral is what convinced many people that I was not crazy, that there was something wrong. The vet explained that when you see sand colic it is not always sand as we know it.

All dirt has some kind of sand. So sand colic is really dirt like material, and some horses do not empty the dirt well without help. For 5 inches to get in there they said it had to have started in early summer and accumulated over time.

Only 2 choices.
$4000.00 Surgery with about 90+% success rate
or
Say goodbye

I can't do payments on $4000 :(
I wish I could.
I need a miracle but I don't think there will be one soon enough. :(

Please everyone, even if you don't think your horse is in a sand place. I was told that most of the worst cases are from horses that live in box stalls so PLEASE every once in a while give your horse sand clear or something before it gets so bad you notice, then it could be too late :(

PLEASE learn from my mistake so no other lil horse has to leave.
I don't know when I will have to make my choice.

I want a miracle but don't know how to get one

2007, a tuff year :(

noreply@blogger.com (Extreme_Cowgirl) — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 18:59:00 +0000

2007 was a very ruff year for me.

It started out great, with my first major barrel race back after my leg and hip injury from the year before.

I went from unable to walk to racing again.

Ok leg and hip still needs work :)

A month later I knew something was wrong with someone staying at my little ranch, but couldn't tell what.

A year before, when I was hurt, I helped a girl who was begging for help. Her horses were starving, and I was the only one who would help. I now know why.

for a year I fed her horses only asking that she help feed and pay for costs, feed, fencing and rent. I lost money every month, but those horses came in like skeletons and they were gaining so much.

Almost one year to the month, April first, she stole my place. Offering more money to the landlord and telling him I was charging a ton of money, Something I told him I would never do. So he signed a lease agreement with her behind my back and in one day I lost just about everything. A few people offered help and my horses were moved the next day.

On top of this she made a web site designed to destroy me, she launched it on April first, the day my place was stolen. Claiming I abuse horses etc.. complete with photos that were not what the site said they were. Mostly before photos... Anyone who knew me saw it for the lie it was, but the damage was done. 2500 hits later, I will have to deal with the lies.

In the 30 days of April I had so many people come and help take everything I built down and moved what could be saved. The web site came down about 1-1.5 months later, she claims it was taken down because it served its purpose, But it really came down because she used her moms address and her boyfriends credit card to make the site, something that both didn't want.

so in the span of 30 days I lost my ranch, boarding clients/income and a huge hit to my reputation. Not really sure how I got out with my sanity intact, But the worst thing I lost was Trust. I didn't know who to trust, who to talk to or who to turn to. I looked at everyone as threat, for lack of a better word. A kind of paranoia I guess, Who saw the site, Who believes her, How could she do this and the big ones-- I wish I never helped her, I will never help anyone again!

But something I didn't expect came out of it. People I had only met a few times, or had seen me at shows came out of the wood works to help me. They helped me keep going, to not give up and look at the good parts. I was free of a place that was dragging me down. It gave me the chance to move, or really look for something that would lead to what I always wanted. A true place of my own where my horses can run in a big pasture while I look out my window.

I applied for hundreds of jobs, all over. Even in Texas, Oregon, Tennessee, Oklahoma etc.. anywhere and everywhere that might put a smile on my face. I was in the mind set of just picking up and running. To where? I have no idea, just somewhere away from the pain.

I help out someone with 2 very sick horses and was basically slapped across the face. Never again!

Needless to say I was a very sad person for a good long while but there were a good few people that would not allow me to just shut the world out. The weekend of April 28, friends made me go to an event I was always planning on competing in called "The Spring Stampede, knowing full well that this girl was going too. I was so nervous as to what she would tell people, what would she do, would she bother me???????

I went and I did great, with the horse I had been working with for his owner to stop bucking and be calm around craziness, this was Mr. bob marley the slaughter lot rescue. He didn't buck, walked calmly all over and most important broke all of his own times. A huge improvement!

As for the girl, Yes she was there and she was blabbing all over. To my happiness though no one believed her. In fact a few had gone to a some people that had been around to actually witness some of the things she was claiming and asked what the H**L was going on, and they would get the truth from people that saw things with their own eyes, And a few people didn't even need that. They told her straight up that they remembered the claims she made a year before about the old boarding stables that I had "saved her from them and how her horses were doing so well at my place," those were her words one year before, that I "Saved her and her horses"... so she put her own foot in her mouth. She left after only a few classes into the show.

After that show I got e-mails from all over saying that I was welcome and encouraged to come to their shows. That I could come and not worry about anyone bothering me. One person was a show manager for a buckle series I had started in march, I was in the running for the buckle, I was solidly in 2nd place with 2 more shows to go. I think many people could start to see the stress that was building, the fear and paranoia.

The e-mails and calls helped to ease the fear, the paranoia took a lot longer to get rid of but the stress just kept coming. Around every turn there was that girl, her friends and then the people who believed her site (or they claimed to other people, this girl is known for making up fake e-mails and screen names) putting up posts on craigslist.

OH! and lets get one thing straight right now. I never asked anyone to post against her, EVER.. No matter what she wants people to believe I never did that. Just another lie she spreads.

Back in march, yes I know back tracking a bit here, the girl had E-mailed my horse club about an event we put on every year. A charity fun show to benefit therapeutic riding. Two members of her team had been banned from another clubs shows and she thought they were banned from ours, well they weren't but they were not well thought of. I kept silent because I knew something was going on but still had not seen what she was up to. She E-mailed the president of the club to ask if she would lift the ban, remember there wasn't one. She also told them I had a vendetta against these people, also these are 2 people that were running the old stables she claimed were starving her horses but now are her best buds. Well, I didn't have anything against them other then not a good impression of, well anything.

I knew the club did not want a team from that stables but because they were on this girls team no one had noticed that they were entered. I still said nothing. When the e-mail came the president asked the board, which I was a board member, what they thought and wanted info on the so called ban. I told them "I am too close to this and am having a problem with the team captain and would like to be kept out of even the deliberation, but about the ban talk to this horseclub for the why's" and that is how I left it and true to my word I was not even there for the deliberations.

I was shocked at the decision. They banned the 2 riders! This club is known for giving second chances, they did say that if the 2 people in question wanted to prove they were not the bad people that they are thought to be, they should come to the horsemen's meetings and work days. "Actions speak louder then words," show us you are good hard working horsemen and you can ride next year. They never took them up on that offer. I knew I was in for it when that happened. No matter how much the club told these people I had nothing to do with it they told everyone that I had. I DIDN'T! I actually thought they were going to be allowed to show.

Well, she found two new riders and was able to compete. This took place on July 29th. A day I look forward to every year. I told my team that I was going to pretend she was not there and they should do the same. We did. And surprise surprise, I actually did forget she was there most of the day!

I had so much fun as I did every year, my team won the costume contest again for the 3rd year in a row, but wow did we have a hard time. At least 2 other teams had amazing outfits. The theme was "Las Vegas" my team wore dresses that looked like $100 dollar bills. Another team was dressed as people from the national finals rodeo, which is in Las Vegas. One rider was a rodeo queen, another was clown and the greatest one was a bull rider full with helmet and vest but the horse was the best! brown vet wrap to make the tail look like a bulls tail and fake padded horns on the bridle.. AWESOME!!!

But the best team, other then ours of course, was a team fully dressed as the CSI Las Vegas investigators. Complete with handcuffs, latex gloves, badges and people chalk outlines drawn on the horses butts. OH I wish I had a picture for you! If we were going to loose the costume contest I wanted to loose to them, Perfect and brilliant idea!

As you can tell I had a wonderful day, to top it off my team won the whole show. I was shocked as all but one horse on our team are senior horses over 25 years old. I had always told people that the team that wins is not usually the fastest, consistent teams with few penalties wins this show. And my team did have our fair share of penalties. I got a 180 seconds added on when a team member and I finished a class in the wrong direction, we were yelling at each other one minute and then on the verge of tears apologizing to each other the next. This show is supposed to be fun.

Why am I going into such detail on this event? Well, because of what happened in the days after the show. Word got around to me through a former client of mine that had kind of bought into this girls talk, still not sure why. I think it was more that she didn't want to be in the middle of drama, I don't blame her one bit there, But it meant that her horse was still there at my old place which was now run by the girl. I got a call out of the blue with an apology from this person, saying they wished they had stood up for me, It meant so much to me to hear that. I just needed to hear it. She then told me that the girl was telling people that I was riding my very thin sick old horse. People were believing her until the photos of the event hit the Internet. Not only was I not riding a thin horse but my old horse was in very good shape and was trying to run super fast, the whole day I was holding him back and most of the photos you can see I am pulling back to hold him up. Hey he's old he needs to act like it lol... so she put her foot in it again.

She also attempted to apologize to me on a horse chat board. But how can you apologize while accusing me of more things I didn't do? No one respond to her posts, in fact for most of the time from April till August she had very little responses. This site she had attempted to hide under another screen name in April and posted her site. The back lash was amazing. Not one person believed her. I couldn't believe the wave of response post in my favor, when her post first showed up I was e-mailing the site owner asking for them to pull the post, they did and they also monitored her posts from then on, plus many were modified by the board admin. Thank You Guys so much.

August 18, Clements California. A day to show off my talent with horses. I had been working only 14 days with a 5 year old stallion to compete in extreme trail classes. I had also entered again to be on the RFD-TV show "Extreme Cowboy." This season was to be filmed on the East coast, I sent in my entry and video to be considered. My video was not as good as I would like. It was of the first time ever riding this horse and it was his first time being ridden outside of an arena and over some basic trail stuff. But on the 14th ride, we filmed us at the "Extreme Ranch Trials."

He did amazing. We got there and I took one look at a huge titter totter and told his owners "I don't know about that but we'll try." He had just started to walk over a bridge the day before but now the bridge would move lol... Well, I hand walked him through the course once giving him the chance to see each obstacle including water for the first time. I actually rode him through the water first but he wanted to run through it and not slow down. I had figured on that and brought some clothes to change into so I could hand walk him through. But one of his owners said "No I will do it so you don't have to change." So he walked though the water and discovered he likes it. Thanks so much for letting me borrow your boy :)

It was a great day and I wish I could say that the girl had no overshadowing effects but she did do something that was strange. As we were leaving to go to the event my cell phone rang. It was her. Of course I didn't answer and she didn't leave a message. everyone in the truck was laughing so hard, so she really didn't overshadow anything but she made a strange appearance with a call to my cell lol...

Well, I wasn't picked for the Extreme Cowboy. Don't know why. I still have not gotten rid of the paranoia thing yet so was worried that she had E-mailed them her site back in April or just e-mail and bashed me. She had done that to a horse rescue I took a horse in from. I didn't find out about that till 1-2 months later. I guess many didn't want to add to my stress and let me know that she had gone that far. Not just calling animal control with fake claims but called and E-mailed a horse rescue telling them to come get my horses. They didn't believe her because I had been sending picture updates on the horse I had and a few other rescue helpers had been to my place just days before the world blew up in April. So she was talking to deaf ears there, but how many other high up ears did she talk too? Could she have called or E-mailed the show people? Who else did she send an e-mail to?

Animal Control was annoyed that she had put their number on her site telling site visitors to call in a report. Animal Control had known where my horses were the whole summer by me. I tell them where they are and invite them to come anytime they like because I have done nothing wrong. They agree and kept my location quite, they did say that they could not stop her from finding me but that if she didn't know where I was then her claims were ignored as she could not tell them what she saw if she doesn't know where the horses are.

Then My car was broken into in front of my house. What makes this strange is what they took. Even the police are suspicious. They got in the drivers side door and opened the trunk.. yes, the trunk, what thief takes the time to open the trunk? Out of the 4 saddles in the car one was in the back seat and 3 in the trunk. they took one saddle. The one that meant the most to me. They left money I left in the passenger seat, CD's, tools etc... and took one saddle. Please keep a look out for it for me please. I want it back, I don't have another saddle that fits my horses. I now need a new saddle.

Well, I may not have been picked for extreme cowboy but I did qualify for the State Gymkhana championships. Held in October in Santa Rosa California. I did well but the time divisions were very confusing, and not sure why but people who were disqualified in most of the classes with no times ended up in the top 10. OK. But oh well, nothing I can do about that. I still had fun though.

The region awards came after the state show and guess what. I am 4th place in my region. Not bad for a girl still relearning to ride like I used to and a horse no one wanted. Mr. Bob Marley has become a really great horse. So proud of him.

I also competed in a competition called "Horsemastership," I did great with my feedlot rescue Marley. We had to complete 3 arena patterns. One was stock seat, a simple reining pattern, a barrel pattern and a pole bending pattern. I was in the gymkhana category. Also a Grooming pattern and a written test on the association bylaws and general horse knowledge. General knowledge, sheesh that was a hard test. I learned that under pressure I can't tie a Bowline knot if my life depended on it lol.. But I had fun and get this. We are now the Reserve Champions.

I ended up getting a job in my state lol, at a University Hospital laboratory but its 1.5 - 2 hours from my house, and you can't say that I am not dedicated to work my butt off to make sure my horses do not suffer because I drive to work 5 days a week and spend about 4 hours a day in the car to do it.

Through out this whole summer I have taken odd little jobs to get some money to pay bills but not enough.

I cleaned houses, some I think that even marry maids would have run screaming from, and others that were normal but hey its a job. I also cleaned stalls, hauled junk, delivered feed, did movie theater inspection (something I have been doing for years now) and so many more that I can't remember them all. But they all took time and energy, I am so tired now. The debt is huge and I don't earn enough in the new job to pay everything back in a timely manner. One person being selfish and greedy caused a chain reaction of debt that I will feel for a long time. To make matters worse she owes me for about 4 months of horse food I paid for. I continued to buy her horses food even though she had stopped paying. Nice huh?

My horses are doing great, I on the other hand seem to have developed an Anxiety and Panic disorder, No I don't go running around panicking lol but I do have chest pressure, heart flutters and pain to the point of needing air. It is all stress related and I don't see it going away anytime soon. I trust so few people right now.

Can Ya Blame Me?

Mixed in with all of this stressful private horror I did something's this summer with the insistence and aid of many new friends. I competed in ranch trials on a beautiful and quick learning young stallion. I competed in CSHA and now am the Reserve Horsemastership Champion, and I went to state in barrels and gymkhana. I am also 4th place CSHA region 5 gymkhana, Plus I ended up Reserve Champion in that Buckle Series too!So not bad for a summer of stress and sadness.

I wrote this in hopes that I could get some of this anger and stress out, it has worked. But I also hoped that it can help others learn from my mistakes this past year.

1) NEVER go so far out on a limb for another that if something happened you take the fall

2) Stand up, Dust yourself off and keep going.

3) Buckle down and do want needs to be done

I know cheesy but its true. The first was my biggest mistake and caused all my problems. She owes me money and caused a huge debt, my horses are scattered and I drive all over the place to work, home and to see them. My car hates me, all those miles lol.. I can't move closer to work because I need money to do that. So I commute 5 days a week and hope to be able to save money, but its slow and hard to do that.

My world was rocked and I have spent most of the year working my butt off to recover. Please learn from this and plan better. Look for the hidden agenda when you get that feeling that something is not right.

In 2006 I was called the "True Cowgirl up Spirit" for getting on a horse and competing in extreme cowboy with limited use of my left side. I think this year I really showed it by getting beat down but getting right back up and working hard. I not once sunk to her level or made a site to bash her, or post things about her. I let her dig her own hole and put herself in it. I follow my horsemen's club motto "Actions speak louder then words," Just watch me with horses and you can see that there is no way I can get a horse to work that well if I did any one the things she claimed.

The debt will be with me a long time, but it will go away. I just need to keep my head up.

And I have left out so much that was done to me, because well I can't write that much lol, and this is long enough already. Lets just say I think there is enough for a few movies here.

I live life one day at a time now, and I have been coming out of my shell shock.

I will tell you what I would like to do in 2008.. "The extreme mustang challenge" which will be at the western states horse expo in June. I had worked with 2 mustangs over the summer, both had come from questionable situations and have trust issues. We all have something in common lol. So I think I have a great shot at doing well in the competition the only problem is I need a place to train the mustang. I have until Jan 25 to enter and send in photos of the facilities. Cross your fingers for me.

I want to share some songs that have lifted my spirits and motivated me this year. And if I have coded this blog right they should have been playing while you read.

"If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there"-- "Rodney Atkins, If You're Going Through Hell"

"So let it rain
It's pourin' all around
Let it fall
No it ain't gonna drown me
After all
I'm gonna be okay
So let it rain" -- "Faith Hill, Red Umbrella"

Hope your 2007 was better then mine and that 2008 meets you with clear skys and fast ground.