Diary of a White Indian Housewife

Bed Sheet from Orissa

Sharell — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:45:28 +0000

My mother-in-law gave this beautiful bed sheet to my mum. It’s from Orissa, and has been handwoven in the traditional design. My mum loves it so much, she thinks it’s way too good to use as a sheet. Instead, she’s put in on the bed as a bedspread. We bought the cushion from a department store to give it a bit of extra decoration.

I love the bed sheet too, and admittedly wanted to keep it for myself!

Little by little, my parents’ house getting the desi touch. They also have Indian table decorations, a set of the ubiquitous stainless steel cups and plates, and even a small Ganesh statue.

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Answers to Questions About My Life in India #2

Sharell — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 23:13:53 +0000

Following on from Answers to Questions About My Life in India #1, here are some more points of interest that I’ve been asked about lately.

1) What are Indian women and men’s reaction towards you and how do they differ in their reactions? Generally, I find that Indian women are more interested in me as a person, whereas Indian men are more interested in what the image of a white woman is. When I meet Indian women, they usually ask me dozens of questions about myself, ranging from what I do during the day to what I eat. They want to get a glimpse into my life. Indian men don’t ask many questions at all. They behave in rather male manner. Sometimes, they’ll want to have their picture taken with me, or they’ll make unwanted advances, or will try and impress me. I think part of the reason why I was attracted to my husband was because when I met him, I found him so enjoyable and easy to talk to. It was a rare thing for me!

2) Do you find Indian men treat you differently to Indian women, and if so how? Indian men are more likely to want to try and please me. I find that in my daily dealings with Indian people, the men are likely to “adjust” in my favour, whereas the women won’t. Indian women aren’t as influenced, impressed, or intimidated by me. On the other hand, Indian women are very inclined to look after me and mother me. They also don’t expect me to help out as much, like they would an Indian girl. Decent Indian men will also treat me very well. My male friends are quite protective of me even.

3) Lastly, what do Indian people really think of western girls? The general preconceptions that they have of western girls, that is. Unfortunately, the stereotype of western girls is prominent in the minds of many Indian people. They think that western girls go around having sex freely with lots of men, western girls are immoral, and western girls have lots of money (which is the perception about white people in general). They also often expect that western girls won’t know how to cook and keep a house. It’s these last couple of preconceptions that bother me the most. The others I can understand, because most of the views that Indian people have about western girls come from what they see in movies. However, I was actually quite shocked (and dare I say, even a little offended) to discover that people thought I’d wouldn’t be able to cook or clean. What Indians don’t often realise is that having servants is not a part of everyday life in the west. It’s only a privilege that the extremely rich enjoy, because the cost is very expensive (unlike in India). Some working couples may have a housekeeper that comes once a week to clean, but we don’t have cooks, drivers, and other home help. We do it all ourselves.

Keep the questions coming!

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On the Cover of Tea Time Magazine

Sharell — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:19:50 +0000

I recently received another honour — being featured on the cover of the inaugural issue of a magazine called Tea Time. The magazine is an exciting new concept for English language students. It’s a free on-line magazine, with editions in English/Spanish, English/German, and English/French.

What’s special about Tea Time is that it aims to help readers discover more of the English-speaking culture than what they would usually find in the mainstream media.

The editor of the magazine approached me and asked if he could use some of my blog posts in the magazine. Of course, I said yes. Inside this addition of the magazine is my post about being married to an Indian. You can check it out (and see more of the magazine) here: Being Married to an Indian

The photos look amazing. I can hardly believe it’s us!

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Looking Out My Front Door in Australia

Sharell — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:09:08 +0000

Ah, the serenity! I open the front door of my parent’s house and am greeted with this glorious sight. My parents live on five acres of land in the Australian countryside, and it’s covered in beautiful garden. We moved to this property when I was six years old, and my parents painstakingly planted every single tree.

The only sounds I hear are birds chirping, and grunting Koalas that wake me in the night. I went for a walk around the neighbourhood earlier today. My nose was filled with the delightful springtime aroma of flowers and freshly cut grass. Only four cars passed me on the road and I only saw two people, who were mowing the grass in front of their houses.

My living environment in Australia is completely different to in Mumbai. It’s so tranquil. But it lacks the magical feeling of anything being possible. Time passes slowly in the peacefulness here, and I’m sedated by the lack of activity around me.

Here are some more pictures of my surroundings.

Looking out the back door.

The back garden.

Side paddock with dam (near the trees) where I used to go fishing.

My beloved car.

The driveway leading to the house.

View down our street.

Start of our street.

Road nearby.

Just for a laugh, what are these strange looking animals?!

My parent's alpacas (they come from Peru in South America).

And by request, here are some koala pictures (taken last time I was home).

Koala in a tree near home.

Close-up of the Koala.

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A Welcome Home Meal in Australia

Sharell — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:15:43 +0000

I arrived in Melbourne at 7 a.m. yesterday, after a long flight from Mumbai via Dubai. I left Mumbai at 4.20 a.m Sunday morning, arrived in Dubai three hours later, waited for four hours, then boarded my 13 hour flight to Melbourne. I normally come home via Singapore, but the flight with Emirates via Dubai was the cheapest one this time.

Then, it was another two hour drive to my parent’s house, east of Melbourne. Both my parents (who had gotten out of bed at 4 a.m. to pick me up from the airport) and I were exhausted!

To welcome me home, mum cooked a huge, typical Australia meal of roast chicken and vegetables. It was delicious.

Being back in Australia is going to take some time to get used to though. For a start, dinner time is much earlier here than in India. Dinner was served before 7 p.m. last night. At that time in India, I’d normally be munching on a vada pav, to take away my hunger before making dinner much later, at around 10 p.m.!

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Moving On Up

Sharell — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:07:46 +0000

It’s a commonly accepted belief that you should pray to God or the universe for what you want. However, I’m not someone who often outright asks for things in my prayers. The problem is that I never know what to ask for, and my mind loves to throw forth limiting beliefs about what could be possible.

Then, there is the behaviour of the universe itself. Since I took my leap of faith and moved to India, the things that the universe has manifested for me are better than anything I would’ve thought to ask for.

The universe recently did it again. Without any “proactive” effort on our part, it brought my husband a fantastic new job offer, and us a wonderful new place to live. All with in a matter of weeks. I say without any “proactive” effort because my husband wasn’t actively looking for a new job, or us a new abode. However, that didn’t mean we didn’t want those things to happen.

When we settled in Mumbai, my husband left the music industry and stared working full time in the family business. He wanted to keep his family happy, and prove to them that he was responsible and stable. He didn’t have any passion for it though. And he continued to devote all his spare time to music. He spent long hours with friends producing music, leaning new software, and dreaming of working in a studio.

As for me, I spent long hours dreaming of living in a cosmopolitan yet quiet area, with 24 hour water supply, and surrounded by peaceful garden. In Mumbai though? Surely, not possible. So, I contented myself with visiting the garden that I discovered nearby, and toyed with the idea of painting the walls of our apartment in bright colours to add cheer.

Then, my husband received a call from an old friend whom he’d often worked as a DJ with, and who had been in Kolkata with us. He asked my husband if he’d like to join him in a new venture, combining both DJ and production work, for a new lounge venue opening up in Powai (a cosmopolitan, leafy green suburb of Mumbai). Of course, my husband said yes. They’ll be producing a lot of world fusion music for the venue, and releasing an album each season throughout the year.

My husband and I agreed that we’d have to relocate to the area. I dreaded having to trudge though dozens of substandard apartments, in the hunt for somewhere suitable to live. I wasn’t even sure what was available within our budget. I started to compile a list of requirements, with the intention of presenting it to God.

Before I’d even finished, my husband called me one day and said he’d come across an ideal place for us. It was located just opposite where his friend would be living, and where the studio would be set up. He also knew one of the neighbours. Even better, the place was a bungalow. With a garden! We looked inside, and to my delight found that the walls were painted cheery shades of yellow, orange, and red. It exactly fit our budget. And had 24 hour water. It was simply perfect.

My husband and I met the owners, a well travelled elderly couple from Kerala, and they agreed to lease it to us. Today, we completed the formalities and got the keys. We’re simply overjoyed.

The neighbour has offered to give us some outdoor furniture, gatherings are being planned, the landlord and landlady have told us they’ll drop by for chai after we’ve settled in, and they’ve extended an invitation for my mum to visit them the next time she’s in India. It feels wonderful.

Most of all, I’m just amazed and unbelievably thankful at how the universe has provided this for us. My first year in Mumbai was a struggle, this year has been all about accepting and adapting, and next year will hopefully be about enjoying (finally!). At last, I feel like everything is falling into place. What’s more, it’s again proven to me that if you create the right environment with thoughts and actions, God and the universe miraculously does respond.

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Waiting for the Cyclone in Mumbai

Sharell — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:45:46 +0000

Cyclone Phyan

Sometime later today, a cyclone is due to hit Mumbai. Since it’s likely we’ll be getting up close and personal with it, its name is Cyclone Phyan. The cyclone is currently moving north east, and is expected to cross the South Gujarat and North Maharashtra coast, between Alibag (Maharashtra) and Valsad (Gujarat), by late this evening.

I’ve never experienced a cyclone before. The worst we have in Melbourne is “gale force winds”. I must say the anticipation feels rather strange. It’s quite surreal, sitting here waiting, knowing that in a few hours Mumbai is going to be lashed with torrential rain and uprooted by raging wind. Although it’s been raining for two days now, it still seems hard to believe.

Looking at the TV, it’s more convincing. Images show the cyclone making its way up the coast of India, with its onset creating huge waves and upturning fishing trawlers. The Meteorological Department has classified it as a level 6 cyclone. The municipal council has advised schools and businesses to close by 2 p.m., and people to vacate low lying areas in the city.

Forget about terrorist attacks, it seems that this year, Mumbai is going to be devastated by natural causes.

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The Gift of Tea

Sharell — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:08:24 +0000

It’s impossible to spend time in India and not drink tea (better known as chai). It’s usually served very sweet and milky. However, there are some delicious variations of masala chai.

I was thrilled to receive a gift in the mail today. It was a thoughtful thank you gift from some special expat friends in Chennai. It was just the kind of gift I love. A big gift made up of lots of smaller gifts. Even better, it smelled divine! Part of the gift was the ingredients to brew up some very tasty chai. Cinnamon, ginger, cloves — they were all there, along with a book of enticing coffee and chai recipes. I’m not at all familiar with how to make good chai, so it will be very helpful for me.

My husband very excitedly took over the kitchen and started preparing masala chai. I’m inspired to experiment with the recipes though. Here’s a refreshing one from the book:

Mulled Pineapple Tea

2 cups of water
2 cups of pineapple juice
2 tea bags
1 tea spoon of whole cloves
2 sticks of cinnamon
1 sliced lemon

Heat water and pineapple juice in a saucepan until it starts to boil. Add cloves, cinnamon, lemon slices, and tea bags. Simmer for 10 minutes. Strain out spices and tea bags. Serve hot.

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15 of the Best Expat Blogs

Sharell — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:47:26 +0000

I was recently thrilled and honoured to find out that Diary of a White Indian Housewife was mentioned in a BootsnAll Travel article about 15 of the Best Expat Blogs.

If you’re curious to know about in the life of an expat, there are some very interesting blogs listed in the article. Cities from all over the globe — from Buenos Aires to Paris — are included.

I’ve always been fascinated to read how people adapt to their new living environments, I just never expected that one day I’d be one of those people doing the adapting! Life really is an amazing journey.

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My Parents’ Reaction to My Relationship and India

Sharell — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:41:56 +0000

Mum, dad and me.

Another question I often get asked is how have my parents reacted to my intercultural relationship. The short answer is good and bad. My mum surprised me by being very supportive. My dad, however, is less than pleased. His reaction comes mostly from a misunderstanding about India and fatherly protection for his only daughter (and in fact, only child. I don’t have brothers or sisters).

I didn’t rush into telling my parents about my relationship. It took me over a year, and a couple of trips home before I started opening up to them. By that stage, they could notice that I seemed very happy. My mum commented that India seemed to be doing me the world of good. I told her that there was someone special in my life, and over the course of time started telling her about him.

Her supportive reaction was unexpected. Both my parents are country folk, and my mum hadn’t travelled outside Australia. She’s also quite conservative in her views. However, she was prepared to understand me and see the positives. She appreciates Indian culture as well.

I found it much harder to talk to my dad. His disapproval has always scared me, because it usually comes in the form of silence. He’d heard plenty of bad stories about Indian guys taking advantage of foreign women, only being after them for their white skin and money, and was worried it might happen to me. He had negative Indian stereotypes and prejudices in his head, and it wasn’t easy to convince him otherwise.

My mum was like and open book, but my dad like a closed one.

When my mum came to India to visit me, I told her of my plans to get married. She was pleased for me, and not at all shocked. She met my husband (to be) and his family, and liked them. She has a lot of affection for my husband, and his sweet easy going nature.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell my dad about my wedding plans though. I let my mum break the news to him, and the rest of the family. I feel cowardly but I didn’t want to deal with his disapproval. I was finding it difficult coming to terms with the life changing decisions I was making, and only wanted to keep positives in my mind.

My mum came to India for the wedding, but my dad was unable to make it for various reasons. He’s yet to meet my husband. However, he did encourage his sister and her husband to stop over in Mumbai, on one of their world trips, and check him out (which they did). I can understand it must be very difficult for my dad, knowing his daughter is in a strange country with a man he’s never met.

It’s difficult for me too, sometimes. I feel sad and wonder why life has led me here, so far away from my parents. I long for the simple life of my childhood. My mum is excited about all the opportunities that India is bringing me though, just like I am. Having her on my side gives me strength, and my India journey has brought us closer together. Now, I just need to win my father over and convince him as well.

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